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AVAIL ME - Trista's PL8STORY Podcast Plate 23 with Angelina Vail-Bouros from Rosendale NY

Jun 15, 2020

This week we meet Angelina Vail-Bouros of Rosendale NY. Her plate, AVAIL ME, represents her as a proud full-time transgender female. She is the Regional Manager of a large Healthcare company and owns her own business - Hudson Valley Handygirl, a home maintenance and remodeling business. Through her life starting from a young age, she has faced a lot, but she has come through full of energy and life. She is truly happy and living her life on purpose. She painted her house the colors of the rainbow to stand against hatred and bigotry. Join me in this special Pride Month episode.

In her own words, "I am a proud full time transgender female. At 59 y/o, I am still full of energy and life. I'm healthy, beyond happy, compassionate, believe everyone has an inherent right to be happy, an avid animal lover, adventurous and love traveling. I hiked the Grand Canyon from the top (Kaibab Trail) to the Colorado River, then up the Bright Angel Trail in one day, 14 hours and 16 miles. I love the outdoors, hiking, bicycling, dancing, and I am a good cook!"

Connect with Angelina on Twitter - @angelinavail

Find Hudson Valley Handygirl on Facebook - @hudsonvalleyhandygirl

Rainbow House story on GeorgeTakei.com

Subscribe to Trista's PL8STORY Podcast on Apple Podcast ( http://bit.ly/itunespl8story ), Google Podcast, Spotify and access all published episodes Nominate a plate - www.pl8story.com Meet the host - www.iwokeupawesome.com Visit Our Sponsors - https://www.iwokeupawesome.com/pl8storypartners.html

Episode Transcript:

[00:00:00] Trista : [00:00:00] Good morning and welcome to Trista's plate story podcast. I'm so excited to have Angelina Vale- Bouros with us today. Her license plate is AVAIL ME. Welcome Angelina.

Angelina: [00:00:13] Thank you Trista. I'm very excited to be here.

Trista : [00:00:15] I'm so excited to have you on Trista's PL8STORY Podcast. Now your plate AVAIL ME has a couple of versions of the story.

So let's hear the official version first.

Angelina: [00:00:26] Okay. So the official version goes like this back in 2011. I met this woman, Bernadette, and obviously I'm transgender and I've always been attracted to women in, a feminine way. always wanted to emulate them and the more feminine they appeared, the more I want to be one.

Every time I met a female, I was always very careful how I presented this side of myself to them. Because if I felt any hint whatsoever of [00:01:00] rejection or anything, I would just close it down. So the little hints I'd throw out to Bernadette, she was totally accepting.

So with her guidance and help and love and compassion and empathy, she took me out on the town one night as a female. We went down to see a concert in Brooklyn. John kale. And so what I was, what I was doing prior to this, was, , I would meet transgender people cross dressors and stuff like that.

I didn't want this part of me to be known on Facebook with all my friends, and family, so to speak. Cause it was still pretty secretive. So I created an alter personality and I spoke to Bernadette about that and we both loved the name Angelina.

And Vale is her last name, her legal last name. So in honor of her accepting this side of me, and [00:02:00] empowering that side of me, I took her last name as part of my screen name and Facebook named so Angelina Vale. So I was still living as a guy. I'm still working that way. But with her guidance and acceptance in my life, I would go out with her occasionally as a female on weekends and it became more and more and more.

So, I figured at some point, I was going to move forward with this, but I, I was still in a very early stage and I had no idea how this was going to pan out

around 2012, maybe 2013. I wanted to get a vanity plate on my car to sort of express my new persona.

how long had you been going out and dressing like a woman and having your Facebook profile before you decided to have the vanity plate?

maybe about a year or so. [00:03:00] I mean, I've known about this since I was a child, , but I had a, I had to suppress it and hide it from everybody in the world because I was raised in a very old fashion Greek and Italian family. And I didn't know, as a child, what it was, I just know children know what they like.

Trista : [00:03:17] Yeah.

Angelina: [00:03:17] They might not know how they like it or why they like it, or the reasoning behind it. They just know that they like what they like

Trista : [00:03:23] that's right.

Angelina: [00:03:24] And, I was always drawn to females and femininity for whatever reason didn't matter. And, I thought about it and I thought about it. And I came up with AVAIL ME, because what that meant back then was Angelina Vail is me, I didn't want the world to know it yet, I didn't really think ahead that at some point, people are going to start asking me about what does that mean? The first person to do that?

I worked for a large healthcare company and my boss, Steve at the time. Great man. I mean a total [00:04:00] accepting loving person. And he saw my license plate. He said, AVAIL ME. What does that mean? He totally caught me off guard and now I'm the type of person I love helping people. I've always loved helping people love, always giving back and doing whatever I can for people.

Yeah.

So I told him, well, I said, well, I make myself available to people for any number of reasons to help them out. And he said, all right. I don't think he believed it, but that was the end of the conversation.

And my brother was the second one to ask me about that. And I told him the same thing. I didn't really think too much about it. At this point, I was living my life more and more as a female. On Friday nights, I would start getting ready doing my nails and all of that stuff. And Saturday I'd make plans with Bernadette and we'd go here and we go there and, or I go to a club and, , so I started to venture out more and more as a female back then.

so that's where the license [00:05:00] plate came in for AVAIL ME and to this day, obviously I still have it. It's still me only I don't live in the shadows anymore.

Trista : [00:05:09] Yeah.

Angelina shared next about her journey to transition and coming out to her boss and family.

Angelina: [00:05:16] I transitioned, I started to go on hormones in 2015. Well, let me explain about that. So one day Bernadette and I were at my house, and it was probably late 2014 and she saw how much I used to struggle with this, , and feel ashamed and guilty about it.

Bernadette and I were a couple back then, , we were dating and, one day she saw how much I was feeling shameful and guilty about this. So she just held me as she looked at me and she said, listen, she said, you have to stop torturing yourself. She said, this is a part of you, whether you like it or not, it's always been a part of you.

It'll always be a part of you. You really need to embrace it. and I thought about that. And at the same [00:06:00] time in my life, I was thinking about the future, I was contemplating what my life is going to be like when I'm older, ?So it coincided with what she was telling me and I would picture myself on that proverbial rocking chair later on in life, when I'm like 80 years old, , wherever I am or sitting on the front porch in that rocking chair, rocking back and forth, , and as I'm sitting there in that rocking chair, the sun's going down, I'm looking over my life and when that day really comes I want to know in my heart that there weren't any major regrets.

, because once we're sitting in that rocking chair, it's game over, right. There's no going back and changing things. So I thought about that at the same time, she told me about embracing as part of myself and I decided to move forward with it, , and we talked about it and I went and, contacted agenda therapists.

I got put on hormones in 2015 and in 2018, I had my gender reassignment surgery. [00:07:00] , and, and it's really funny because I, I did think about how this was going to impact and affect my life at work because I got a good career. I have, a side business, a home remodeling, and maintenance side business and how I was going to navigate my way around the country.

, in this new life, if people were going to accept it or not. Now mind you, I'm not the kind of person who allows others to dictate to me what I can and cannot do, where it can or cannot go, who I can and cannot be, but it would have a financial impact on me per se. And that was concerning because I do own my own house.

I don't want to lose it . Aside from that, I went ahead and did it. I came out at work, my boss, Steve, he totally accepted it without hesitation. No, he took me and our department out to lunch. So I could tell all the people in my department, they were all accepting.

So the road ahead was not as bumpy thus [00:08:00] far as I thought it would be. I am a regional manager at my company. The only transgender person I know in my company, about 1500 people, much less a manager. I manage the maintenance and security of a dozen medical facilities. I've been doing it for 11 years.

And my side business, my home maintenance and remodeling business has never been busier. I can hardly keep up with all the work. And I get most of my work from recommendations, and I travel a lot and I have my AVAIL ME plates all over the place.

People do ask me about that. What does that mean? And when I tell them, I say, ah, and a couple of things I love about being transgender and meeting new people...people that don't know anything about a transgender person ...is that I get to educate them. I get to let them know that I'm not an alien. I am still a person that does good, that helps other people, that loves my life. I add goodness to the planet, but I'm happy. [00:09:00] I'm a happier version of myself. And just to think about all the people on this planet who want to be happy with who they are, but they can't be for any number of reasons. Whether the community they live in thinks it's immoral, whether they think it's illegal and the problem with that is any community, any country That keeps their people from being happy is actually setting themselves up for failure. Because when you have a whole section of society, that's unhappy, there's going to be some kind of unrest, , and it's gonna, it's gonna kick back to society. So I am very adamant that I don't let anything, or anybody stands in the way of my happiness.

It took me a long time to get here, , so I can't afford to let anybody get in the way of my happiness and I don't allow society or anybody to dictate to me who I can. And can't be.

Trista : [00:09:56] I love that, , it takes a lifetime for most people to be [00:10:00] able to be comfortable with themselves, like truly comfortable with themselves, who they are, how they show up and owning their greatness.

I think that we all struggle with having the courage to really be ourselves. And I'd go so far as to say that most of us don't have as far to go as you did.

Yeah.

And so I really acknowledge you for owning your self really are,

Angelina: [00:10:27] it takes a lot of courage, but I think that what comes across to a lot of people is they come to respect that. The struggle.

Trista : [00:10:38] Angelina spoke next about her struggles growing up, which led to challenges with addiction and incarceration.

Angelina: [00:10:47] I knew about this since I was a child, , and I struggled with this and I had to hide this and suppress it.

And it created a lot of anxiety growing up, hiding this. I mean, I had women's clothes hidden everywhere [00:11:00] in my bedroom, in the crawl space, in the woods. In buildings and town, I can't even begin to tell you how frustrating, and the amount of anxiety, , and also, I, I had an immense, case of ADHD.

I mean, I was super hyperactive so much so that people used to get tired, just watching me as a kid, , and what was cute as a child, when I started to go to school. I couldn't shut up. I couldn't sit still. I couldn't pay attention physiologically and physically I couldn't do it. And in first grade, my teacher, mrs. Hess, Oh, she used to tape my mouth shut and slap me and pull my hair because I couldn't sit still and shut up and pay attention. And I was a, five-year-old acting like a five year old and I was getting beat up for it. , when my parents, I never told them because, well, they, the teachers, they must be right.

when I was a child, there was no diagnosis for ADHD. It was a behavioral problem.

Trista : [00:11:54] Right.

Angelina: [00:11:54] , and I got hit by quite a few of my teachers and this was public school, , my brother and my two sisters went to [00:12:00] Catholic school.

If they would've sent me to Catholic school, they would have murdered me. So school was a horror show to me, ? And, Growing up. I mean, I started getting into alcohol and drugs at an early age because I was self medicating and that blossomed into a full blown addiction.

I ended up spending over 13 years of my life in a variety of state prisons, and in rehabs, Because I was a complete stranger to myself. The only thing I felt like was a functioning piece of flesh. I did not feel connected to myself. I felt completely disconnected from myself.

Trista : [00:12:31] Yeah.

Angelina: [00:12:31] the only feelings I really felt were anger. I never felt good. I was never proud of myself or happy with myself because I was never accomplishing anything to be happy or proud of myself, ? And, and I, I feel so horrible for the, the anguish that I put all my family through growing up like that, but they never told me to go to hell.

They never, , told me to leave the house and get out. They loved me for through it all.

Trista : [00:12:58] That's so amazing.

[00:13:00] Angelina: [00:12:59] It is, and, the last time that I got in trouble was in 1994, it was a burglary for drugs, it was in Nassau County on long Island. It was January, it was just horrible.

It was the definitely the worst depressing time of my life, and I know I was going to go to prison for quite a while this time. that they were gonna throw the, throw the keys away on me. So I wrote the judge a letter and I poured my life out to him, like two pages full of stuff.

Like judge, I'm not bad, I just don't know why. I know I'm hooked on drugs, but I'm a good person to have a good heart. when I went before the judge in March of 1994, I had very little hope in myself, cause this is now my third time going away to prison.

Trista : [00:13:43] Yeah.

Angelina: [00:13:43] And, he looked at me and I was 32 years old at the time.

He said, , you're still not too old to go away and get your life together. And I like looked at this guy and I couldn't believe what he was saying. He had more hope and faith in me at that moment than I had in [00:14:00] myself, ? And, he gave me eight years to life. That was the minimum sentence, allowable by law, , and he could have given me, he could have given me up to 15 years to life, but he gave me the minimum.

And at that moment I made a decision. I was going to be determined to go away and get my life together. So I went away and I'm upstate in Wilburn prison. I enrolled in college. I was going to Syracuse university. I wanted to start to see a psychologist to get inside my head, to figure out what the hell is going on and get to the bottom of my problems with my life.

Cause I didn't want to die in prison. Yeah. and there's this a psychologist is listening to me and he's listening to me and he says, wait a minute. He says, number one, slow down because I can't here as quickly as you're talking, number two, he says, number two. Did anybody ever diagnosed you with ADHD? I didn't even know what that was. I said, no. He says, well, I'm going to send you over to the psychiatrist. So he does, he does that. And a psychiatrist is listening to me and [00:15:00] he's, he, it takes my whole history into a County, says you definitely have had a have ADHD.

Fine. So he prescribed Ritalin. in the meantime, as a trustee, I was a trustee in prison, I was in this thing called honor block, where if you're doing really well and you're trusted, they put you in this really, I don't know how to say it, but it's decent cell block, better, bigger cells and all this stuff.

So one day, , I was cleaning the visitor's area up in front of the jail and I'm sweeping. And I looked down, I see this plastic child toy key. So I take the key, put it in my pocket, anything we find was supposed to give to the guards, blah, blah, blah. Anyway, when I'm done with my job, We always get patted down before they let us leave.

And the guard pats me down. Doesn't feel the key. I totally forgot I had it. I'm almost back to my cell when they called yard recreation. So I immediately turned around. I'm going down the steps. And down at the bottom, in the foyer, there's always a contingent of officers and a Sergeant on random [00:16:00] pat-frisk just to make sure that no weapons or drugs are being brought out to the yard. Anyway, as I'm getting down there, I realize I have this stupid key in my pocket, so I take it out and I put it between my fingers because right outside the cell block is a sewer. It's going right down to the sewer.

Now, mind you I've been in this prison for about eight months at the time. They all know I work in the front, they all know I'm a trustee and all this stuff never had a problem. Never got picked for a random pat-frisk before. And all of a sudden I'm down in a foyer. The Sergeant says, you get up against the wall.

I said, Oh boy. just as I raise my hands, the Sergeant comes over and he says, what's that? And he pulls this key out from between my fingers, and he says, Oh, a handcuff key. I said, no, I, I found this, , as he, he didn't want to hear it. Now, let me tell you something.

The last thing you want to get caught with it, a maximum security prison, is anything that even could be fashioned or make to believe that it's a handcuff key? So anyway, he lets me go out to the yard while I'm out to the yard, [00:17:00] unbeknownst to me is, they tear up my, my jail cell. I mean, they destroy it, looking for whatever else.

Cause now they think there's some kind of a conspiracy going on that I was going to give this key to somebody I'm planning an escape blah, blah. when I come back in from the yard, my cell is tore up. The next morning, when all the Gates are open for people to go to work mine, doesn't open.

I said, Oh boy. Then they hand me this piece of paper, which is a superintendent's hearing, which is the worst one you can get in a prison, right. It's for escape paraphernalia. So I said, Oh my God. So I figured, listen, I'm going to go to the hearing. I'm going to talk to the Lieutenant. I'm going to tell him what happened.

It was a mistake. I just forgot. The guard didn't find it, , and he's going to give me a warning. They gave me a year in solitary confinement for that key.

Trista : [00:17:46] Oh, my goodness.

Angelina: [00:17:47] Now, mind you, let me back up just a little bit while I was in the County jail, after the sentencing, I'm feeling so horrible, , and destitute, I heard the officer said, the services, , [00:18:00] religious services, in 15 minutes now I'm not much of religious person, but when I was feeling so, so bad, , and so almost depressed. , we naturally gravitate towards anything that'll make us feel better. So I went down to the service and while I was sitting there, the chaplain says maybe the only reason that you're in jail, it's the only place that God could get your undivided attention, ?

And that hit me like a lightning bolt because while I was in society, obviously I was out of control with the drugs, with the drinking, with the negative lifestyle. , and that really had a big impact on me. And then with the judge having faith in me, when I had no faith in myself, I don't know why, but I sensed that there was more going on with this time away then previously. There was something in the works. I just couldn't put my finger on it. And it was just a thought at the time. So now getting sentenced to a year in solitary confinement and being in solitary confinement, [00:19:00] I started to do something I could never have done without being in that cell 24 hours a day.

Think about myself. Because every other time in my life that I was with myself, I didn't think anything good. And I always made it a point to be around other people. Doing things, getting high, drinkings, just to take the focus off myself, knowing myself and what have you.

Trista : [00:19:26] Avoidance, right?

Angelina: [00:19:27] Exactly. But now, I didn't have a choice. I had to face my demons. , the last thing I wanted to do well, now that the psychiatrist diagnosed me with ADHD. and the next time I went to see the psychiatrist, he says, , if the school district, cause I told them, well, the things that they did to me in school, , at the end of sixth grade, there's a distinct called field day.

that all the kids are outside. They play in all these games and everything. They made me go back into the school by myself and count all the tiles on the floor. [00:20:00] At lunch time, they made me sit by myself. Everybody else got two Hamburgers heaping loads of French fries and soda. They gave me one hamburger.

I mean, this was terrible treating me like this, , when something that was out of my control anyway, the psychiatrist says, well, maybe if the school would have did something more than punish you, your whole life might've been different. You might not have spent a day of your life in jail. Your family might not have had to go through everything they did.

So after he said that, and I went back to my cell, I started to get real angry at the school district, , and I started to locate lawyers, and I wanted to Sue the school district. Not because I wanted any money, money, had nothing to do with it. What it had to do with it had to do with everything to do with another child, never having to go undiagnosed and going through what I did in life and another family, never having to go through what, what I went through and what I put them through.

I got letter [00:21:00] after letter, after letter, we don't handle that stuff. I mean, no lawyer really wants to handle an inmate and much less have a lawsuit against a school district where an inmate is concerned, ?

I started writing a away to find out more about ADHD. So one day in the mail, I get this pamphlet. And it's from CHAD "children with attention deficit disorder". So I'm skimming through it. And I come across this little advertisement, from this attorney on long Island. And surprisingly her office was like within miles of where I live.

So I contacted her and I wrote her a four page letter pouring my life and my heart out to her. I had my sister contact her.

So next thing , here I am sitting in solitary. I, the Sergeant comes to my cell and he says, you have to call your lawyer. And I was almost going to refuse because I didn't know what he was talking about. and I said, okay. Now mind you, every time you come, after you come out of your cell and solitary confinement, they put handcuffs on you. They put this black box in between the handcuffs [00:22:00] and a chain around your waist. So you can't move. They shackle your ankles. It's horrible. It was a horrible experience.

So they take me to this room and I call this lawyer and it happens to be this woman lawyer that I wrote to the four pages. Okay. she had told me later on that she never ever, ever handled an inmate case before every time she ever got a letter from an inmate, it went right into the garbage. She never even opened it. She said, I don't know what it was about about you, but when I saw your handwriting, I knew something, something prompted me to open that letter. And then when I read those four pages and speaking to your sister, she not only decided to take the case I was in solitary for, but she beat it.

Trista : [00:22:47] Wow.

Angelina: [00:22:47] She beat it. And we got married in prison one year later,

so for the next seven years, She came up and seen me every weekend and holiday seven [00:23:00] years.

Trista : [00:23:00] Wow.

Angelina: [00:23:01] And visit after visit, after visit, after visit, we took Humpty Dumpty and put Humpty Dumpty back together.

Again, there wasn't a facet or area in my life physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually that we didn't talk about and work on.

Trista : [00:23:18] Amazing.

Angelina: [00:23:19] in most cases would probably 99.9% of the people that go into solitary.They either come out the same or worse. Solitary confinement saved my life because it afforded me the time to get inside of myself, which never would have happened if I was not in solitary.

Trista : [00:23:40] Yeah.

Angelina: [00:23:43] Spend all of that time introspecting and getting inside of my head and my heart. And a lot of people don't know this. And I realized this in solitary, like I realized a lot of things in solitary was that there was a vast separation between what my mind wanted and [00:24:00] what my heart wanted. I managed to bring them together and have them work in tandem instead of my mind, wanting to do one thing and my heart, wanting to do something else. So my time spent in solitary was necessary for me, , and when I got out and when I moved in with her, my life started to come together like it never was before. It was organized. I was doing things legally.

I wasn't doing drugs drinking, , and we stayed together. We were married for 10 years. We separated in 2010.

And then I met Bernadette. Onto the second phase of my life where now my true happiness is coming into play, ?

I've never been so happy or successful. , I own my own home. I have a, a career that I absolutely love. I have a business that's absolutely thriving. , and it's funny too, because I do a lot of traveling most, a lot of times by myself. [00:25:00] Because prior to me knowing who I was, I never wanted to spend time with myself ever, but now I love spending time with myself because I'm at peace with myself because my spirit has been freed.

I know exactly who I am. And that's why I'm so adamant about never letting anybody get in the way of disrupting or derailing my happiness. , and me and Bernie, although we're not a couple anymore, we're even closer now than we were before, ? Cause we're the best, best of best friends, ?

I tell people, , as often as I can, don't let anything or anybody get in the way of who you are and your happiness. No, because when you're sitting in that rocking chair later on in life, having regrets. It's not going to be pretty.

Trista : [00:25:46] Angelina shared some of her favorite mantras next as well as her philosophy on the importance of a positive mindset

Angelina: [00:25:56] That's one of my mantras, no regrets. And my other favorite mantra I [00:26:00] have is this too shall pass because in, in prison a long time ago, one of my ex girlfriends, again, this was the first time I was in prison. I was in Sing Sing in 1985 and it was horrible. And so she brought me a blue mountain card.

, and although I don't remember what the gist of the card said, I'll never forget what the last four words said: this too shall pass. And so every time I find myself in a situation that I don't want to be in - a problem, an issue, I keep telling myself this too shall pass and a week will go by a month, will go by or a year ago by, and that problem won't exist anymore.

We're onto new challenges and new situations, new problems at a different time. And , I go into problems with a positive mindset, , and I look at every problem is not a deficit, but a potential asset. Like there is [00:27:00] something to be gained here. There is something to learn here, be educated from and make me a stronger, better person.

And when we go into a negative situation with a negative mindset, we're going to come out more negative. The situation is probably going to be extended. But when we go into a negative situation with a positive attitude, first of all, we're looking at it with a completely different perspective. The situation itself is now becoming a potential asset instead of a potential deficit.

And every time we do that, we become stronger people, more ready and equipped to take the world on no matter what we're faced with.

Well, I love what you're saying here, because. I can only be responsible for my own mindset. I can't be responsible for yours. I can only really control how I show up in any situation. Right. And so if I can show up as positively and lovingly and acceptingly and compassionately and generously as possible, then [00:28:00] everything else should pretty much fall into place.

Right. So I love what you're saying about that. I wanted to just ask you about Bernadette, because when we had talked before you said it was a really tough thing. And so Unconditionally loving that Bernadette was willing to be there and actually inspire you to choose who you really are.

How long had you guys been together when you started having these conversations?

Well, I mean, probably. Two years. I mean, I've known Bernadette before that because we used to work together in a, in a drug rehab. I work in maintenance and she was a house manager in the, in the facility. so we knew each other for awhile, but, we've known each other probably two years before the conversation got serious about this side of me, ?

And then when she said you need to embrace this, , we both pretty much knew. [00:29:00] After I was deciding to move forward with this, that we probably weren't going to be a couple anymore. And Bernadette is the kind of loving and selfless person that she wouldn't get in the way of my happiness, even though she knew it was gonna mean her own unhappiness.

That's how giving a person she is, ? And, I don't know anybody that doesn't love her. , she is just a totally down to earth, easygoing soul. Yeah. , she really is.

So I want to spend a moment acknowledging her. What is it about her that really you'd like to share, to just share part of her heart and her spirit with us?

That it's exactly her heart and her spirit is why I am so in love with her. And that's why I fell in love with her. Yeah, because of her heart and her spirit, , I met her, she had on jeans and boots and she was down and dirty, [00:30:00] , and she's just a very, you get a very, very easy going, loving, caring aura from her.

, she, she just gives out this very loving, compassionate sense about her. , and she loves animals. I love animals. she was beautiful and, , just totally down to earth, , and that's why I ended up loving her was actually because of animals in the beginning, ?

that's who she is today. She's still the same loving, caring, compassionate, lively, loving spirit. She's always been.

Trista : [00:30:35] I love that. thank you for sharing a little bit more about what it is about her that has you love her and has her be such an amazing person. now you live in Rosendale New York, right? And I think if anybody were driving through Rosendale, they would probably be able to pick your house out of the rest of the street, because it's a pretty special house.

It [00:31:00] was written up in the news. Can you share a little bit about that story?

There are a couple of things involved here. prior to painting my house, I had the American flag up and the rainbow flag under the American flag. All right.

Cause the American flag always is on top of any other flag. That's just the way it is. That's protocol. That's respect for America and what it stands for. So one day I got this piece of hate mail From somebody, they were not liking that. I had the rainbow flag up number one and number two, they didn't like that it was under the American flag. So that's set off something with somebody. And I started getting another one and another one. And then on June 16th of last year, that's going to be Tuesday, I had one of my cats, Rambo. He was killed and he was cut in half.

Oh my gosh. I'm [00:32:00] so sorry.

Angelina: [00:32:00] and the person actually has been writing these letters took responsibility for doing that, whether or not they did it, I don't know. And that inspired me to paint my house because now if you're not going, if you don't have enough courage to come to my front door and tell me how you feel, then I have no other way of striking back and letting how I feel then doing what I did.

So if you didn't like my flag, So I am going to let very clearly that I am totally against that that hate, hate is not allowed. In this area and I'm going to paint my house.

Trista : [00:32:38] I'm laughing. I'm not laughing at you, please don't be thinking that. I'm laughing because it's like you took the flag to a whole new level.

, like if you don't like my flag, I got a flag for you right here. I just love how bold and courageous stand that is. that's where my giggle came from.

Angelina: [00:32:58] my neighbors, they all were [00:33:00] outraged. When the, I started getting these, these letters and stuff like

Trista : [00:33:03] Oh yeah!

Angelina: [00:33:03] One of my neighbors spent her own money on getting these yard signs that said, "hate has no home here". We all put them up. My neighbors starting putting up rainbow flags. So part of the way I am in life is that I am always looking to turn a negative into a positive.

That's the way I operate. That's my mindset. I always look to make good out of the bad and this was no less, okay. I was going to take a negative situation and it was going to make it a positive one. And so I started to put the word out into the community, wherever I could on the air and the newspapers, what happened to me, why it happened to me and what I'm going to do about it.

And so let me tell you something the day, September 6th of last year. There must've been about 250 people here from the community from all over. Came to help paint my house the color of a rainbow. [00:34:00] And it was a amazing day. I had two live bands here, the local home center here Herzog's they found out what happened to me.

They contacted me this, the gentleman, Patrick, from the paint department at Herzog's. They donated all the paint for free.

Trista : [00:34:15] Oh my gosh.

Angelina: [00:34:17] And it was just an amazing day. We had, we had tons of tons of food. People were in good spirits. The news was here. and we painted my house the color of the rainbow.

And so that was my stance against hatred and bigotry. Was that you are not going to do this and keep me silent because I am not the kind of a person that's going to stay silent. Yeah, I will never be silent where hatred and bigotry racism and any of that other stuff has involved. , I am not that kind of a person cause , it only inspires me to push back harder and harder and as hard as I have to.

Trista : [00:34:57] I love the sign hate has no home [00:35:00] here. I mean, I love a good turn of phrase, but the message, I think that if I think every house should have that, , just to remind us. That there is no, there's no space for hate it. Doesn't get us anywhere. It's like, you're talking about with the positive mindset, I'm only able to be responsible for myself.

Did they ever find the person who was doing this?

Angelina: [00:35:25] No, they're investigating the state police were investigating, but a couple of things here, , it's kind of funny because Rosendale, it is a warm, loving, it's like a little Woodstock. Yeah. It's a great accepting place. I have a good good relationship here with people, with the town, with the authorities, , and I love life here.

You'll never run me out of this town. Yeah. , and what's kind of ironic is that I do a lot of traveling and I've been all over this country and probably mostly in all conservative States. And I have never had a [00:36:00] problem, any place I went, never, anytime I ran across people, I'm a very social person.

Every time I've ever come across people, we have nice conversations. They're very respectful, very courteous. And here it is in my own town in Rosendale. I get some idiot that wants to spew their vile, , thoughts and feelings and stuff like that. But what? I made sure that it backfires on them.

They could send me letters from now until the day they die. But they're only going to inspire me to push back and , what, if they get caught and I hope they do, I will be at every one of their hearings in court. And I would want the judge to one of the conditions of their sentencing would be to mandate them, to sit down with me for one hour in a room with an officer and let's have a conversation.

Then after I get to knowing me. And hearing me, then you can hate me, but when you hate a person or a whole group of people, [00:37:00] knowing them, that is the apex of what ignorance is.

But ignorance is born out of, of expressing things about people and being uneducated about.

People and things that , nothing about.

Trista : [00:37:14] You're actually the chairwoman of the mid Hudson Valley transgender association. So, tell me about that organization. What is that about? What do you do as a group?

Angelina: [00:37:25] Well, we're a bunch of transgender people and some cross-dressers in there.

people who for whatever reason can't live their lives fully as females, , and we try to educate people who have family members, loved ones who are desiring to transition who have transitioned and who just want a smoother transition. So we, we, we take part in that. I was also part of the Ulster County legislature In changing some of the discriminatory, laws in the County. So, , there there's a lot of [00:38:00] advocacy work to be done with that, but , my organization, we do whatever we can and get involved in different things. to support the transgender and LGBTQ communities.

Trista : [00:38:12] That's awesome.

Angelina: [00:38:14] We add good things to society, to the planet, , when anybody that is full of hatred and resentment and that takes away from the humanity. They're the ones who are hurting us, not us, , we just want to be happy and live our lives. We're not looking to take other people's happiness away. Yeah.

Trista : [00:38:34] And I'm going to go so far as to say that you are much more, contributing member of society being who you really are than trying to pretend to be something that you're not.

Angelina: [00:38:46] Well, it took me a lot to get to this point in my life and to be the happy person I am today. And so I have a real problem with anybody or any government trying to suppress me further and [00:39:00] send me back in time instead of supporting me.

We're not hurting anybody. We just want to be who we are. And when I was in the Ulster County legislature, a couple of years ago, talking about discrimination in the County, why it's here. And when we had a stand up to speak against it, I told everybody in the legislative chamber and in the audience that I was embarrassed to even be here having this conversation.

We're having a conversation, whether or not there should be discriminatory practices against transgender people. That didn't even make sense to me.

New York in and of itself has come a long way. With antidiscrimination bills and pro LGBTQ bills, , and I'm a proud new Yorker. I'm a proud supporter of governor Como of Michael Hein in the County here, of Pat Ryan, and everybody who plays a role in this, the New York state Senate. Jen Metzker. , the commissioner Fernandez, the commissioner of human rights in New York, [00:40:00] she wants to be here. I'm having another house painting in September. she reached out to me and she wants to be a part of it. I still have a lot of paint left over. We're going to give it a second happy rainbow coat. We're going to have more bands here. We're going to have tons of food, tons of people, ? So we, we have to constantly take a stand.

It doesn't end and it wont end because hatred racism, bigotry will always be around, but we'll be around too. And we're growing. Because every person that stands up, another person stands up, , when one person comes out, another person comes out. So when you come out and you stand up, you have a voice, a strong voice, and together we have the strongest voices.

Trista : [00:40:43] I love what you're saying about somebody needs to stand up. So other people feel the courage to stand up. , some people don't have the courage to stand up alone. So I acknowledge you for being that beacon of truth. And really, [00:41:00] I believe that we can either be one way or the other, we can be love-based or fear-based. And so I just really always try to show up love-based and, , I think that just is the beginning of all the goodness.

And it's really when fear steps in, I mean, what is. Bigotry racism. It's all fear of something we don't understand. Right.

, and so talking to somebody one-on-one, as opposed to making blanket assumptions about an entire group of people who are all individuals, that's a really, really good place to start.

Angelina: [00:41:37] It is.

That song Whitney Houston sang - Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all. It is because once we learn, I mean, learn to love ourselves. Authentically. It changes everything. It changes our perspectives of ourselves. It changes our perspectives of the world, , and the biggest thing that I got out of transitioning was that as children, [00:42:00] we have no say so as to what we psychologically and sometimes emotionally ingest because we get all the stimulus and stimuli from the, from the adults around us and we become products of what other people make us.

When I transitioned, I was able to recreate my entire life all over again, not from what other people wanted me to be, but what I wanted me to be

Trista : [00:42:24] by choice, on purpose. yeah

Angelina: [00:42:27] ? And so when we do love ourselves love is the biggest combater of fear, ? And when we learn to love ourselves, we take a stand for that love and we battle fear automatically whether we like it or not.

, and then once we find other kindred spirits like that, we become a unit and we become a stronger unit, , and people want to be connected to that, ? And, and so let it be, , I will, I will be there for however, [00:43:00] I can for whoever I can.

Trista : [00:43:01] I love that. And I wanted to talk to you this month because it is pride month. So I think it's perfect. And I really appreciate you being part of the plate story mosaic as somebody who is a proud transgender and can celebrate pride month with us in this show. So, I wanted to turn the tables on you before we wrap up. is there one question you'd like to ask me?

Angelina: [00:43:32] So, what are you going to do for pride month?

Trista : [00:43:35] what am I going to do for pride month? This. I actually, I thought about like, what could I do with COVID looming not leaving my house in any way. And I thought, , what's my platform. Well, really it's this podcast. So I wanted to bring someone on that could represent for pride month and share a story that really added to that [00:44:00] conversation. And so you were a beautiful and wonderful addition to the PL8STORY for that. So that's one thing

and I'm looking for other things that I can do. So do you have any ideas with everybody being in the house and not showing up in groups as much as they can avoid it?

Angelina: [00:44:19] Well, there's still lots and lots of things to get involved in zoom wise, Facebook that they're all safe, safe ways to gather still. I mean, I generally love to go to New York city for the pride parade. Have you ever been there?

Trista : [00:44:36] Yes, I have been there.

Angelina: [00:44:39] There is nothing like it

Trista : [00:44:41] It's canceled though this year, right?

Angelina: [00:44:43] Yes. I get into the parade and I'll tell you, my spirit is so elevated. there's nothing like pride parade in New York city, , it's amazing experience, , and it just feels good to be there with all my people. [00:45:00] Yeah, no. And the supporters and stuff like that. I mean, there's tens of tens and tens and tens of thousands of people.

Trista : [00:45:06] It's definitely something to experience for sure. And to be part of

Angelina: [00:45:11] Historic. Really is. And to be trans and proud today. It's, it's, it's a great experience because like I said, , the more people that come out, the more people that come out.

Trista : [00:45:23] That's right. I love that.

Angelina: [00:45:25] , it's just, it's a good time to be trans.

Trista : [00:45:29] I think that's a great thing to end on. It's a good time to be trans. Yeah. I love that.

Well I wanna thank you, Angelina, so much for being part of PL8STORY. It's been wonderful to have you here. And, definitely we'll be following your journey and your rainbow house painting sounds like a ton of fun. I'll make sure to put links to all your stuff online so people can come and support the same conversations that you are advocating for.

Angelina: [00:45:56] Well, listen, thank you so much for having me. It's been a pleasure and [00:46:00] experience. I have a lot of gratitude for you choosing me for this, especially during this month.

Trista : [00:46:06] Absolutely. It was my pleasure. Have a wonderful day.

Angelina: [00:46:09] You too. Thank you.

www.pl8story.com

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