I Woke Up Awesome Blog

The Power of Cannabidiol: How CBD Supports Calm and Balance

Mon, 30 Dec 2024 14:00:06 GMT

In today's fast-paced world, maintaining a sense of calm and balance can be challenging. That's where the power of cannabidiol (CBD) comes into play. With its natural origins and growing popularity, CBD oil is making waves as a potent ally in promoting mental and physical well-being.

What is CBD?

Cannabidiol, or CBD, is a compound found in the cannabis plant. Unlike its cousin THC, CBD is non-psychoactive, meaning it doesn’t produce the “high” typically associated with cannabis. This makes CBD an attractive option for those seeking the health benefits of cannabis without the mind-altering effects.

Supporting Calmness

CBD interacts with the body’s endocannabinoid system (ECS), a complex network of receptors responsible for regulating various physiological processes, including mood, stress response, and sleep. By interacting with ECS receptors, CBD can enhance the body's ability to maintain homeostasis, or balance.

Benefits of CBD for Calm and Balance

Stress Reduction: One of the most celebrated benefits of CBD is its potential to alleviate stress. Regular use can help calm the mind, making it easier to navigate daily pressures.
Improved Sleep Quality: By promoting relaxation, CBD can help improve sleep quality, ensuring you wake up refreshed and ready to face the day.
Mood Enhancement: CBD may also help elevate mood by supporting the production of serotonin, a neurotransmitter that contributes to feelings of happiness and well-being.
Maintaining Physical Balance: Beyond mental effects, CBD supports physical balance, aiding in recovery from exercise-induced inflammation and discomfort.

Incorporating CBD into Your Routine

Integrating CBD into your lifestyle is simple. Bliss CBD Gummies + Ashwagandha, for example, offer a convenient and tasty way to experience the benefits of CBD alongside other calming botanicals. With no psychoactive effects, they’re perfect for use any time of day.

Conclusion

CBD’s natural properties make it a powerful tool for supporting calmness and balance in a hectic world. Whether you're looking to manage stress, improve your sleep, or simply enhance your overall well-being, CBD can be a reliable companion on your journey to a more balanced life. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're considering adding CBD to your wellness routine, especially if you’re taking other medications.

These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.

Why You Should Avoid Buying Supplements on Amazon

Mon, 23 Dec 2024 14:00:06 GMT

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Core3 Health: Transform Your Wellness and Share the Benefits

Mon, 16 Dec 2024 14:00:01 GMT

Core 3 Health is a revolutionary system designed to empower your health journey. With three powerful products, it offers a comprehensive approach to wellness. Let's delve into how Core 3 Health can benefit you and how sharing it with others adds even more value.

The Three Pillars of Core 3 Health

Isotonix OPC-3
This powerful antioxidant is 20 times stronger than vitamin C. It supports blood flow, glowing skin, flexible joints, and healthy cholesterol levels. Start your day replenished and ready.
Prime NAD+
Known for its age-fighting properties, Prime NAD+ helps replenish natural levels that decline with age. It boosts energy, mental sharpness, and regeneration at the cellular level.
Isotonix Magnesium
Critical for more than 25% of your body’s functions, magnesium helps you relax and rest. It supports emotional balance, sleep quality, and overall well-being.

Benefits of Sharing Core 3 Health

When you embrace Core 3 Health, you unlock powerful health benefits. But it doesn't stop there. Sharing these benefits with friends can be rewarding for everyone involved.

Earn Cash by Referring Others:
When your friends make a purchase through your referral link, they save money, and you earn $25–$30, deposited into your VIFT wallet.
Continuous Earnings:
Every time a referred customer makes a purchase, you earn cash rewards, and they enjoy savings.
Empower Your Circle:
By sharing Core 3 Health, you’re not only boosting your wellness but also helping others achieve their health goals.

Conclusion

Core 3 Health is more than a product; it's a complete wellness system designed to restore, rebuild, and reset your health. Experience the benefits and share the opportunity for others to transform their health, too.

These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

Discover the Calm: Bliss CBD Gummies + Ashwagandha

Mon, 09 Dec 2024 14:00:01 GMT

In today's hectic world, finding moments of calm and relaxation can be a challenge. Enter Bliss CBD Gummies + Ashwagandha, a natural solution crafted to help you unwind and find inner peace amidst the chaos of everyday life.

The Power of Calm

Bliss CBD Gummies combine the soothing properties of cannabidiol oil with a blend of adaptogenic botanicals known for their calming effects. Each gummy contains 30 mg of Cannabidiol oil and features key ingredients like ashwagandha, L-theanine from white and green teas, and lemon balm.

Unique Benefits

These gummies offer a range of benefits that support both physical and emotional well-being:

Stress Support: The adaptogenic botanicals help your body manage and respond to stress effectively, stabilizing your physiological responses.
Mood Stabilization: They may help stabilize mood and promote a sense of emotional wellness, especially during stressful situations.
Relaxation and Sleep: These gummies promote relaxation and may support improved sleep quality, ensuring you wake up refreshed.

How It Works

The effectiveness of Bliss CBD Gummies lies in their unique mixture of botanicals. Ashwagandha and L-theanine work to promote a state of calm by supporting healthy neurotransmitter levels, while lemon balm helps your body adapt to stress.

Why Bliss CBD Gummies?

These gummies are a delicious and convenient way to incorporate the benefits of CBD and natural botanicals into your daily routine. Whether you're dealing with a busy work schedule or looking for a way to enhance your relaxation time, Bliss CBD Gummies are a perfect companion.

Conclusion

Finding your calm doesn't have to be a struggle. With Bliss CBD Gummies + Ashwagandha, you can support your body's natural response to stress and enjoy the tranquility you deserve. Try them today and take a step towards a more balanced and serene life.

These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

Discover VivoMega™: Elevating Omega-3 Fish Oil Standards

Mon, 02 Dec 2024 14:00:04 GMT

Omega-3 fish oils are well-known for their health benefits, but not all are created equal. VivoMega™ stands out in a crowded market with its exceptional quality and effectiveness. Let’s explore what makes VivoMega™ the superior choice for your omega-3 needs.

Ultra-Pure and Highly Concentrated

One of the defining features of VivoMega™ is its ultra-pure formulation. Produced in Norway, this omega-3 fish oil undergoes rigorous purification processes to ensure you receive the highest concentration of EPA and DHA, the two key components that drive its powerful health benefits.

Exceptional Production Standards

VivoMega™ boasts world-class oxidation parameters, made possible by advanced thin-film technology. This ensures that the oil maintains its integrity, flavor, and aroma, providing a fresher and more pleasant experience.

Clinically Studied Benefits

Backed by clinical research, VivoMega™ supports cardiovascular health, immune system function, and normal respiratory function. Its efficacy in promoting overall wellness is well-documented, making it a reliable choice for those seeking optimal health outcomes.

Sustainable and Responsible Sourcing

VivoMega™ is committed to sustainability, using only responsibly sourced fish. This approach not only supports environmental health but also ensures that the product you consume is of the highest ethical standards.

Superior Absorption

Formulated in triglyceride form, VivoMega™ offers superior absorption, allowing your body to fully benefit from the omega-3s. This means more efficient support for a healthy heart, brain, and immune system.

Conclusion

Choosing VivoMega™ means investing in a product that prioritizes quality, purity, and sustainability. When it comes to your health, don’t settle for anything less than the best. Experience the VivoMega™ difference today.

Ready to make the switch? Discover VivoMega™ in VivoQuin™ today for complete wellness!

Always consult a healthcare professional before starting any new supplement.

NAD+: The Best-Kept Secret for Healthy Aging

Mon, 25 Nov 2024 14:00:03 GMT

In the realm of health and wellness, NAD+ has swiftly become the most talked-about natural ingredient that many are only beginning to learn about. This coenzyme, crucial for our cellular functions, is drawing attention for its potential to support healthy aging, and here's why everyone is buzzing about it.

What is NAD+?

NAD+ (Nicotinamide Adenine Dinucleotide) is a coenzyme present in every cell in our body. It plays a vital role in energy production and cellular health, making it indispensable for maintaining overall wellness.

Why is NAD+ Trending?

Supports Healthy Aging
As we age, NAD+ levels naturally decline. Research suggests boosting NAD+ could help maintain youthful energy, support DNA repair, and promote longevity.
Enhances Energy and Vitality
NAD+ is key in converting nutrients into ATP, the energy currency of cells. This process invigorates both body and mind, combating fatigue and promoting vitality.
Boosts Cognitive Function
Healthy NAD+ levels are linked to improved brain health, supporting memory, focus, and overall cognitive function.
Aids in Cellular Repair and Recovery
Involved in repairing and regenerating cells, NAD+ helps the body recover from stress, environmental factors, and physical exertion.

Why Haven’t You Heard of It?

Despite its importance, NAD+ has remained under the radar until recent scientific advancements highlighted its benefits. Now, with growing research and testimonials, it’s capturing the wellness world’s attention.

How to Boost NAD+ Levels

Dietary Choices : Foods rich in NAD+ precursors, like fish, mushrooms, and green vegetables, can help.
Regular Exercise : Physical activity naturally increases NAD+ production.
Supplements : Specific supplements are available to help elevate NAD+ levels effectively.

Conclusion

NAD+ may be the wellness world's best-kept secret , but its benefits are too significant to remain hidden. As awareness grows, more people are discovering how this incredible coenzyme supports healthy aging and enhances overall health. It's time to embrace the potential of NAD+ for a vibrant future.

These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

Enhancing Respiratory Health Naturally: A Guide to Wellness

Mon, 18 Nov 2024 14:01:16 GMT

Respiratory health is crucial for overall well-being. Compromised respiratory function can lead to various issues, including frequent infections, fatigue, and decreased lung capacity. Let's explore how to support respiratory health naturally.

The Importance of Respiratory Health

Our respiratory system is vital for delivering oxygen to the body and removing carbon dioxide. When compromised, it can lead to persistent coughs, shortness of breath, and increased susceptibility to infections.

Natural Ways to Support Respiratory Wellness

Stay Hydrated:

Drinking plenty of water helps keep the mucous membranes in the lungs thin, promoting better lung function.

Regular Exercise:

Physical activity strengthens the respiratory muscles and improves lung capacity. Activities like walking, swimming, and yoga are especially beneficial.

Healthy Diet:

Consuming a diet rich in fruits, vegetables, and omega-3 fatty acids supports lung health. Foods like leafy greens and fatty fish are excellent choices.

Breathing Exercises:

Techniques such as deep breathing and diaphragmatic breathing can enhance lung function and increase oxygen intake.

Avoid Pollutants:

Minimize exposure to indoor and outdoor pollutants. Use air purifiers and ensure proper ventilation to reduce irritants.

Quit Smoking:

Smoking significantly damages the lungs and quitting is one of the most effective ways to improve respiratory health.

Manage Stress:

Stress can affect breathing patterns. Practices like meditation and mindfulness can help reduce stress and promote better respiratory function.

Potential Issues from Compromised Respiratory Health

Increased Infections: A weakened respiratory system can lead to more frequent colds and respiratory infections.
Chronic Conditions: Poor respiratory health is linked with chronic conditions such as asthma and COPD.
Reduced Oxygen Supply: Compromised lung function can lead to inadequate oxygen supply, affecting energy levels and overall health.

Conclusion

Supporting your respiratory system naturally is key to maintaining overall health. By incorporating these practices into your daily routine, you can strengthen your lungs and improve your quality of life. Always consult with a healthcare professional for personalized advice and before making significant lifestyle changes.

Discover Natural Relaxation and Sleep Solutions

Mon, 11 Nov 2024 14:00:03 GMT

In the hustle and bustle of modern life, finding effective ways to relax and achieve restful sleep is essential. Fortunately, nature provides us with incredible tools to support both relaxation and sleep management.

Embrace Natural Calm

Adaptogenic botanicals such as ashwagandha and lemon balm are renowned for their ability to help the body adapt to stress. These natural wonders support your physiological responses, promoting a calmer mind and enhancing mood stability.

The Power of Tranquility

Ingredients like L-theanine, commonly found in green and white teas, are known for their soothing properties. They promote relaxation by supporting normal levels of neurotransmitters in the brain, helping you unwind effectively.

Support Healthy Sleep

Achieving quality sleep is crucial for overall well-being. Natural compounds help in promoting a restful night's sleep by encouraging relaxation and maintaining healthy cortisol levels in the body.

Integrate Relaxing Habits

Incorporating these calming elements into your daily routine can make a real difference. Consider activities such as meditation, gentle yoga, or a warm bath alongside these natural solutions to enhance relaxation and improve sleep patterns.

Conclusion

Tapping into nature's offerings can transform your stress management and sleep quality. Embrace these natural aids and experience a more serene and restful life—a simple yet powerful choice towards better wellness.

Unlocking the Benefits of NAD+ for Optimal Health

Mon, 04 Nov 2024 14:00:15 GMT

NAD+ (Nicotinamide Adenine Dinucleotide) is a coenzyme found in every living cell, playing a crucial role in energy production and maintaining cellular health. As we age, levels of NAD+ decline, impacting our vitality and wellness. Understanding the benefits of NAD+ can inspire a healthier lifestyle and better aging.

What is NAD+?

NAD+ is essential for converting nutrients into cellular energy. It also supports the body's defense mechanisms by activating sirtuins, proteins that regulate cellular health.

Benefits of NAD+

Boosts Energy Levels
NAD+ aids in converting food into energy, which can enhance overall vitality and combat fatigue.
Supports Healthy Aging
By activating sirtuins, NAD+ helps maintain DNA integrity and promotes longevity.
Enhances Cognitive Function
Healthy levels of NAD+ support brain health, aiding in mental clarity and focus.
Improves Cellular Recovery
NAD+ is involved in repairing and regenerating cells, making it essential for recovery from stress and damage.
Promotes Metabolic Health
It helps regulate metabolism, supporting healthy weight management and metabolic processes.

How to Boost NAD+ Levels

Diet : Consuming foods rich in precursors like Nicotinamide Riboside can help boost NAD+.
Exercise : Regular physical activity has been shown to increase NAD+ production naturally.
Supplements : Consider dietary supplements that support NAD+ synthesis for added benefits.

Conclusion

NAD+ is a key player in maintaining health and vitality as we age. By supporting energy production, cognitive function, and cellular health, boosting NAD+ levels can help foster a vibrant, active lifestyle. Integrating NAD+ supportive practices can be a valuable part of your wellness routine.

These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

Boosting Your Immune System Naturally

Mon, 28 Oct 2024 14:00:03 GMT

Our immune system is the first line of defense against illness, and supporting it with the right nutrients can make a significant difference in our overall health. Let's explore some powerful ingredients known for their immune-boosting properties.

Omega-3 Fatty Acids

Omega-3 fatty acids in triglyceride form are renowned for their ability to support immune health. These essential fats help maintain the balance of immune cells and promote a healthy response to inflammation. Incorporating omega-3s into your diet through fish oil can be a valuable way to enhance your body's natural defenses.

Black Cumin Seed Extract

Black cumin seed extract is celebrated for its immune-supportive properties. This ingredient contains thymoquinone, which has been shown to promote healthy immune cell activity. By including this extract in your wellness routine, you can support your immune system's ability to respond effectively to challenges.

Comprehensive Immune Support

When these ingredients are combined, they offer comprehensive support for your immune system. Together, they work synergistically to enhance immune function and support respiratory health, providing a balanced approach to maintaining wellness.

Natural Immune Health Strategy

By focusing on these key ingredients, you can develop a natural strategy to boost your immune system. Whether taken through dietary sources or supplements, these nutrients provide the building blocks for a resilient and responsive immune system.

Incorporating omega-3 fatty acids and black cumin seed extract into your routine may help you enhance your immune health naturally. Always consider consulting with a healthcare professional before making changes to your wellness regimen.

Stabilizing Mood Naturally: Harnessing the Power of Ashwagandha, L-Theanine, and Lemon Balm

Mon, 21 Oct 2024 14:00:02 GMT

In a world increasingly filled with stressors, finding natural ways to support mood and well-being has become essential. Among the various remedies available, ashwagandha, L-theanine, and lemon balm stand out as powerful botanicals known for their unique abilities to help the body adapt and respond to everyday challenges. These natural ingredients have been treasured for their ability to stabilize mood, promote relaxation, and enhance emotional well-being. By incorporating these botanicals into your routine, you can take a proactive approach to managing stress and achieving a balanced state of mind.

Incorporating these natural elements into your lifestyle not only supports emotional stability but also contributes to a holistic approach to well-being. As we delve deeper into their benefits and uses, you'll discover how ashwagandha, L-theanine, and lemon balm can become invaluable allies in your journey toward a more balanced and tranquil life.

Lemon Balm

Balancing your mood can be challenging in today's fast-paced world. Fortunately, nature provides powerful tools to help manage emotions and support a stable mood. Let's explore how ashwagandha, L-theanine, and lemon balm can make a difference.

Ashwagandha: The Adaptogenic Ally

Ashwagandha is a renowned adaptogen used for centuries in Ayurvedic medicine. It helps the body adapt to stress, promoting mental and emotional stability. By supporting healthy cortisol levels, ashwagandha may reduce anxiety and enhance mood, making it an excellent choice for natural mood management.

L-Theanine: The Peaceful Component

Found in tea leaves, L-theanine is known for its calming effects without causing drowsiness. It supports the production of calming neurotransmitters like GABA, promoting relaxation and improved focus. This can lead to a more balanced emotional state, helping you navigate the ups and downs of daily life with a clearer mind.

Lemon Balm: The Soothing Herb

Lemon balm is another valuable botanical celebrated for its ability to promote relaxation. Its soothing properties can help ease tension and irritability, supporting a sense of calm and enhancing mood. Lemon balm is often used to manage stress and improve mental clarity.

Creating a Routine for Balance

Incorporating these natural ingredients into your routine can lead to improved emotional well-being. Consider adding ashwagandha supplements, drinking tea rich in L-theanine, or using lemon balm in herbal infusions to support a more stable mood. Consistent use can maximize their benefits.

Embracing Natural Wellness

While life's challenges are inevitable, managing your response to them is possible with the help of these powerful botanicals. By embracing ashwagandha, L-theanine, and lemon balm, you can naturally support mood stabilization and enhance your overall quality of life.

Find solace in nature's gifts and take the first step toward a more balanced, serene you. ��✨

Discover the Power of OPCs: Nature’s Potent Antioxidants

Fri, 11 Oct 2024 07:42:15 GMT

Oligomeric Proanthocyanidins, or OPCs, are powerful antioxidants found in a variety of plants. These compounds offer numerous health benefits and are becoming increasingly popular in health and wellness circles. Let’s explore the benefits of OPCs and why taking them in an isotonic delivery system maximizes their effectiveness.

What Are OPCs?

OPCs are naturally occurring compounds found in fruits, vegetables, and tree barks. They are celebrated for their potent antioxidant properties, which help protect the body from free radicals and combat oxidative stress.

Health Benefits of OPCs

Powerful Antioxidant Protection
OPCs are recognized for their ability to neutralize free radicals, significantly more powerful than vitamins C and E.
Support for Cardiovascular Health
These compounds promote healthy blood circulation and help maintain blood vessel health, contributing to overall heart health.
Joint Health and Flexibility
OPCs support joint function and flexibility, making them ideal for those with active lifestyles or those seeking joint comfort.
Skin Health
By combating oxidative stress, OPCs help maintain vibrant and youthful-looking skin.

The Advantage of an Isotonic Delivery System

While OPCs offer incredible benefits, their effectiveness is significantly enhanced when delivered via an isotonic system. Here’s why:

Faster Absorption : The isotonic delivery ensures that OPCs are rapidly absorbed into the bloodstream, maximizing their impact.
Increased Effectiveness : Taking OPCs together in one isotonic blend allows the body to easily utilize their combined power.
Convenience : An isotonic formula is easy to consume, providing a simple way to integrate these powerful antioxidants into your daily routine.

Conclusion

OPCs are a remarkable gift from nature, offering a range of health benefits from antioxidant protection to cardiovascular support. For those looking to harness the full potential of OPCs, using an isotonic delivery system ensures the fastest absorption and maximum effectiveness. Embrace the power of OPCs for a healthier, more vibrant life.

Managing Stress Naturally: Harness the Power of Botanicals

Tue, 24 Sep 2024 20:27:40 GMT

In today’s fast-paced world, managing stress is an essential part of maintaining well-being. Fortunately, nature provides us with effective tools to help us stay balanced. Let’s explore how certain botanicals can support stress management naturally.

The Wonders of Ashwagandha

Ashwagandha is a renowned adaptogen known for its stress-relieving properties. It helps maintain healthy cortisol levels, which are crucial for stress management. By supporting both physiological and psychological stress responses, ashwagandha can promote a sense of calm and tranquility.

L-Theanine for Relaxation

L-Theanine, found in white and green teas, is celebrated for its ability to promote relaxation without drowsiness. It works by supporting the production of neurotransmitters like GABA, serotonin, and dopamine, which are vital for maintaining a relaxed yet alert mental state.

Soothing Lemon Balm

Lemon balm is another calming botanical that helps the body adapt to stress. It has a gentle soothing effect on the mind and body, making it easier to manage tension and promote a feeling of well-being.

Incorporating Botanicals Into Your Routine

Tea Time: Enjoy a cup of green tea, which naturally contains L-theanine, as part of your daily ritual.
Supplement Support: Consider taking supplements containing these botanicals to enhance your stress support routine.
Mindful Moments: Combine these natural aids with mindfulness practices like meditation or yoga for maximum benefit.

Conclusion

Harnessing the power of ashwagandha, L-theanine, and lemon balm can provide effective support in managing stress. Incorporate these botanicals into your daily routine to help maintain balance and find your calm amidst life’s challenges. Embrace the natural way to support your journey towards well-being.

Embracing Confidence: Conquer Self-Doubt and Boost Business Success

Fri, 19 Jan 2024 17:00:00 GMT

Unlocking Your Full Potential as an Entrepreneur

Hey there! Let's get real for a moment. We've all been there - those moments of self doubt that make us question our abilities and leave us feeling stuck. It's like having a pesky mosquito buzzing around your head, constantly reminding you of your fears and holding you back from reaching your full potential. Ugh, so frustrating!

Picture this: You want to run a business or already do. The business idea is great and you know it could be a huge success and be a great opportunity for growth. But then, fear of failure starts to appear like an unwelcome guest at a party. It starts whispering in your ear, filling your mind with doubts and insecurities. Suddenly, that brilliant idea doesn't seem so brilliant anymore. It's infuriating, isn't it?

But fret not because I've got the solution you've been searching for. Brace yourself for a confidence boost like no other! It starts with rewiring your mindset and showing that inner critic who's boss. Challenge those negative thoughts and replace them with positive affirmations. Repeat after me: "I am capable. I am deserving. I am unstoppable!"

It does, as I'm sure you can guess, take a bit more work than that. So let's get to it. Are you ready to unleash your inner rockstar and take your business to new heights? Today, we're diving deep into defeating lack of confidence and boosting business success. In this article, I'll equip you with powerful strategies to build unshakable confidence and take on any business challenge that comes your way.

The Sneaky Culprit: Self-Doubt

Confidence isn't just a buzzword thrown around in motivational speeches. It's the secret sauce that separates thriving business owners from those who remain stuck in a cycle of the paralysis of fear and worry. It isn't that these thriving success stories never have fear or doubt. It's that they don't let those thoughts take win. They choose not to believe them when they crop up. This is because they have evidence to the contrary. They have taken risks when their thoughts told them it was too scary or they would never succeed and they did it anyway. And you know what happened? They had success, however small. So now they have proof that they can do it, and if they use that proof to take more risks, and succeed, they can build on that. So they have less doubt than you because they have more proof than you. But not for long! Because I'm going to show you how to use this process to attract clients, close deals, and make bold decisions that propel your business forward.

Defining the Doubt

Self-doubt is like a pesky mosquito buzzing around your business journey. It's that nagging feeling that whispers, "Can you really do this?" It thrives on uncertainty, questioning your abilities and planting seeds of hesitation. Understanding its characteristics is the first step in overcoming it.

This pesky pest comes in many shapes and sizes. It can manifest as that voice in your head saying, "What if I fail? What if I'm not good enough?" It thrives on comparison, making you believe that everyone else has it all figured out while you're stuck in the land of doubts, insecurities, and imposter syndrome. There could be many causes of self-doubt for you. Oftentimes self-doubt starts when you are a kid and stays with you, playing like a broken record in your head. They could be the voice of a parent, a teacher or something you saw in a movie. It doesn't really matter where it came from, the important thing is that it leaves and who cares if the door hits it in the �� on the way out!

The Triggers

Ah, the negative effects of self-doubt – the dream crushers of the entrepreneurial world. When self-doubt takes the stage, decision-making becomes a daunting task. You second-guess every choice, paralyzed by the fear of making the wrong move. Progress becomes stagnant as you hesitate to take risks or embrace new opportunities.

But self-doubt doesn't just affect your decision-making; it also has a way of seeping into your overall mindset. It chips away at your self-confidence, making you question your worth and potential. It's like a roadblock on the path to success, hindering your growth and keeping you from reaching your true potential.

Let's talk about some powerful strategies that will pave the way for unshakable confidence. Get ready to rock and roll!

Silence the Inner Critic: Challenge Negative Self-Talk and Limiting Beliefs

First things first – it's time to put that inner critic in its place. Negative self-talk and limiting beliefs have no power here! Catch yourself when those sneaky doubts creep in and challenge them with a dose of positivity. Remind yourself of your past successes, your skills, and the unique value you bring to the table. You are capable, my friend, and it's time to own it! There's a simple process you can do to rewire your brain for positivity. The first step of course is wanting to make the shift. Your mind is powerful and it will resist change because change is scary. So you have to choose it. It won't behave contrary to your will. Ok so now that you decide you want to change, start paying attention to your thoughts. Do you typically notice positive self-talk or negative? Chances are it's more negative, or you would already have eliminated self-doubt. When you notice a negative thought, say "cancel cancel" or "delete delete" to arrest the automatic thoughts that have been repeating in your head for most of your life. You're going to find that there are a lot more of them than you realized once you start paying attention so this process may feel annoying at first...like every thought I have I am supposed to stop and cancel it? YES! Absolutely. The more you do this the more automatic it will become. Now the most important part - replace the negative thought with something positive. Let's say your negative thought is, "I'm not smart enough to succeed in this business." So first, "cancel cancel" then "I am a business genius!" If that feels like a lie and you are unwilling to accpet it, then you can say something that is less drastically different. For example you could say, "I'm getting smarter and smarter each day." Small steps are fine as long as you continue to take them.

Uncover Your Superpowers: Cultivate Self-Awareness and Identify Personal Strengths

Now, let's do some superhero soul-searching. Cultivating self-awareness is the key to unlocking your personal strengths and unleashing your full potential. It will also make the process above easier, if you had trouble believing the positive replacement thoughts. Take some time to reflect on your past accomplishments and the skills that set you apart. Write as many of them down as you can think of. Then, when you go throughout your day look for new ones. Just today, I was playing the daily WORDLE puzzle and I got the answer in 2 guesses. This has only ever happened to me 7 other times in over a year and I was so excited! I celebrated and shared the good news with my WORDLE friends. It's a small win but it made me feel amazing! This counts as personal growth for me and the small wins count for you as well. Learning to embrace your uniqueness and recognize that your journey is not a competition with others – it's about nurturing your own growth and harnessing your superpowers - will go a long way to building your confidence.

Aim High, Start Small: Setting Realistic Goals and Celebrating Small Victories

Goal-setting is the secret weapon of confident men and women in all professions. Set clear, realistic goals that align with your vision and break them down into manageable steps. This is a bit more tricky than it sounds so let's break it down a bit. First, I recommend using the SMART goal setting technique. You want to make sure your goal is....

S - Specific (as specific as possible, no vaguery or generalities here...if it is for a new car what kind of car is it, what color is it, what accessories does it have, what year is it, etc.)

M - Measurable (how will you know you have it? For the car example, if you are buying the car with cash, you know the exact cost of the car so you know when you have saved that amount)

A - Attainable (is it realistic for you to get a Rolls Royce which starts at $400,000 or is a Tesla more attainable)

R - Relevant (does it contribute to your life? If the car you want is a Smart car ... see what I did there? ... and you have 4 kids, a dog and take lots of road trips would that be the best choice?)

T - Timed (when will you have the money for the car saved?)

All of these details are going to help the goal be REAL for you and help you create an action plan. So let's say your goal is to own a base model Telsa Model Y that starts at about $50,000. You want it within 10 months. Once you start creating your action plan you can determine if this is attainable. You will need to create or save $5,000 above and beyond your regular monthly expenses for 10 months to have the Tesla by your goal time. How will you generate that extra income? You could cut some of your current costs, create a plan to sell more of your products than you usually do, add more customers, etc. Depending on your business there are lots of ways to slice it. But you gotta do the work to make sure you have a plan. For example, let's say you sell a product that has a $100 profit. You could sell to 50 more people per month or 10 more people per week to make the monthly goal. If you want to have 10 new customers per week purchasing your $100 profit item, that's about 2 per day over a 4 day work week. You have now brought your Tesla goal down to a daily action plan that you can schedule. Voila! Use this example to do your own goal work and if you need some help, I'm available for single goal setting sessions to assist you.

The Power of Allies: Seeking Support and Mentorship

The next game changer I want to recommend is to seek out support and mentorship from like-minded individuals who can provide guidance, motivation, and a fresh perspective. Connect with fellow entrepreneurs, join mastermind groups, or seek out a mentor who has been there, done that. Having someone in your corner can make all the difference in boosting your confidence and propelling you towards success.

Your tribe matters. Surrounding yourself with others that are focusing on a positive mindset and living a healthy lifestyle, will surround you with positive energy and optimism. It will also give you an opportunity to encourage others, reinforcing your own inner cheerleader.

Being part of a supportive network that will lift you up, cheer you on, and provide that much-needed pep talk when the going gets tough will allow you persevere no matter what. Surround yourself with positive, like-minded individuals who believe in your dreams and inspire you to unleash your full potential.

Remember, confidence is not about being fearless, but rather about acknowledging your fears and taking bold action despite them. It's easier to move forward when you can step back objectively and take inventory of what happened, without a lot of judgement clouding your view. Instead of dwelling in what is wrong with the fear, a key to success is being compassionate with yourself. This will tackle that fear and allow you to look at it proactively. Remember, you are the average of the people you surround yourself with, so choose your tribe wisely!

Commit to Continuous Learning and Skill Development

The business world is like a thrilling roller coaster ride, constantly evolving and offering new twists and turns. Embrace the adventure by making continuous learning and skill development your ride-or-die companions. Expand your knowledge through books, online courses, workshops, and conferences. Stay ahead of the curve and equip yourself with the tools to take on any challenge that comes your way. Remember, the more you know, the more confident you'll grow! I have some great resources I recommend in the Resources section of my website. You can check it out here - https://www.iwokeupawesome.com/resources

Feed your brain with external programming, which has been shown to improve positivity. It will also help with the "cancel cancel" exercise I shared earlier. Remember, if we are distracted with awesomeness, it's easy to forget the negativity!

Dare to Be Bold: Stepping Out of Comfort Zones and Taking Calculated Risks

Stepping out of your comfort zone is where magic happens. Earlier I talked about how successful people took risks and had success which gave them confidence to risk again. This required them to go outside of their comfort zone. You don't need to step too far out - baby steps are fine. But each step will provide further proof that it's safe on those skinny branches. We need to teach our brain that these risks won't kill us and each time we do, it helps overcome fear for the next time. Build a bucket of baby risks and you will gain the ability to make bigger risks till you can take bigger and bigger swings. Embrace the unknown, take calculated risks, and push the boundaries of what you thought was possible. And don't worry if you fail along the way. It doesn't mean you made the wrong decision. It just means you had the opportunity to learn a lesson. Failure is a normal part of your journey so embrace failure as part of the process. Remember, the greatest opportunities lie just beyond your comfort zone. So trust your instincts and your competence in entrepreneurship.

Fuel Your Fire: Practicing Self-Care and Maintaining Work-Life Balance

If you are ambitious as I am, t's easy to get caught up in the hustle and forget to refuel your fire. But remember, my friend, you can't pour from an empty cup. Ignoring your wellbeing and self-care is one of the worst things you can do to undermine your business, confidence and results. Prioritize self-care and maintain a healthy work-life balance. Take breaks, indulge in activities that bring you joy, and nurture your mind, body, and soul. A well-rested and rejuvenated person is a confident and unstoppable force ready to take on the world!

So, armed with these strategies, you have the power to build unshakable confidence that will propel you towards business success. Embrace continuous learning, take bold leaps, surround yourself with positivity, and prioritize self-care. You are destined for greatness, and the world is eagerly waiting for your unique magic. Get out there and show them what you're made of! Adventure awaits, and confidence is your secret weapon to conquer it all!

As we wrap up, let the excitement of your entrepreneurial journey fill your heart. Welcome the challenges, setbacks, and triumphs that lie ahead as they will all make you wiser. Focus on the lesson and not what went wrong. Remember the real-life stories of those who triumphed over self-doubt and carved their path to success. They serve as a reminder that you too have the power to conquer any obstacle.

Implement the strategies shared, choose your uniqueness, and let your confidence radiate in all that you do. Believe in yourself, for you possess the strength, resilience, and brilliance needed to thrive in the world of business. Building confidence is an ongoing process. It requires dedication, self-reflection, and a willingness to push beyond your comfort zones. Choose the challenge that lies ahead and approach it with enthusiasm and determination. Believe in your abilities, celebrate your wins, and learn from your setbacks. Trust in yourself, for you are capable of achieving greatness.

Most importantly remember that you deserve all the best life has to offer and you woke up awesome! Make it a great day!

Supercharge Your Growth: Tools and Techniques for Self-Reflection and Unleashing Confidence

Ink the Think: Journaling Exercises to Conquer Self-Doubt

Grab your trusty pen and unleash the power of journaling! Dive deep into your thoughts and fears, and challenge those pesky negative thoughts head-on. Through journaling exercises, explore the roots of your doubts and replace negative thoughts with empowering ones. Let the ink flow as you navigate your way towards a mindset built on resilience, self-belief, and unshakeable confidence. Remember, my journaling superhero, every stroke of the pen brings you greater success!

Picture the Possibilities: Visualization and Affirmation Techniques

Close your eyes and paint a vivid mental picture of your success. Visualization is your secret weapon to ignite the fire within. Envision yourself thriving, achieving your goals, and basking in the glory of your accomplishments. Combine this power with affirmations that fuel your confidence. Repeat positive statements like "I am capable," "I am deserving of success," and watch your mindset transform into an unstoppable force. Visualize it, affirm it, and make it your reality!

Zen Your Way: Mindfulness and Meditation Practices for Self-Acceptance

In the fast-paced world of business, finding your inner zen is essential. Embrace mindfulness and meditation as your sanctuary amidst the chaos. By tuning in to the present moment, you cultivate self-acceptance and embrace your worthiness. Take a pause, breathe deeply, and let go of the inner judge. Through regular mindfulness and meditation practices, you'll unleash a calm and confident version of yourself that can weather any storm. Zen out and let self-acceptance guide your path.

Seek Help, Best Doubt: Professional Guidance on the Journey

Remember, there's strength in seeking help when needed. If self-doubt becomes an overwhelming adversary, don't hesitate to reach out to professionals who specialize in empowering individuals like you. Whether it's a coach, therapist, or mentor, their guidance can provide valuable insights, strategies, and support on your journey towards unshakable confidence. Together, you'll navigate the maze of doubt and emerge stronger than ever before. Welcome the power of seeking help and conquer doubt with an army of support by your side.

So, my growth-seeking entrepreneur, armed with these tools and techniques, you hold the keys to unlock your full potential. Take up journaling, visualize and affirm your way to confidence, find serenity through mindfulness and meditation, and never hesitate to seek professional guidance when needed. Your growth knows no bounds, and your confidence will soar to new heights. Get ready to unleash your full potential and witness the incredible transformation that awaits you on this thrilling journey of self-reflection and growth!

Take Action: Your Confidence Journey Begins Now

Are you ready to embark on your confidence-building adventure? It's time to put these strategies and techniques into action. Grab your journal and start exploring your self-doubts, challenge negative thoughts, and replace them with empowering affirmations. Engage in mindfulness and meditation practices to cultivate self-acceptance and inner peace. Seek guidance and support when needed, and never hesitate to invest in your personal and professional growth.

More Resources and Support for Your Journey

Expand Your Knowledge: Dive into Further Reading and Listening

Congratulations on reaching the final section of our confidence-building expedition! As you continue your quest for self-assurance and entrepreneurial success, we've compiled a list of resources to deepen your understanding and inspire further growth. These books, podcasts, and other valuable materials will serve as your trusty companions on this transformative journey.

Books that Ignite Confidence:

"The Confidence Code" by Katty Kay and Claire Shipman: Discover the secrets of confident individuals and learn how to unlock your own inner strength.
"You Are a Badass" by Jen Sincero: Unleash your inner badassery with this entertaining and empowering guide to self-love and confidence.
"Daring Greatly" by Brené Brown: Explore vulnerability, courage, and the power of embracing imperfections on your path to confidence.

Podcasts to Empower You:

"The Confidence Chronicles" by Erika Cramer: Tune in to this podcast where Erika shares inspiring stories and practical strategies to boost your confidence.
"The Life Coach School Podcast" by Brooke Castillo: Gain insights into mindset, self-worth, and personal development through Brooke's transformative teachings.
"The Tony Robbins Podcast" by Tony Robbins: Join Tony Robbins as he dives into the strategies and mindsets that lead to unparalleled confidence and success.

Coaching Programs:

Self-Worth Coaching: Discover your true worth and unleash your inner confidence with Trista Polo's self-worth coaching. Designed exclusively for women, Trista offers individual and group sessions to help you embrace your uniqueness, overcome self-doubt, and step into your authentic power. Through personalized guidance and empowering strategies, Trista will help you cultivate unshakeable self-love and create a life filled with purpose and fulfillment. It's time to unlock your potential and shine as the incredible woman you are.
Accountability Coaching: Achieve your goals with Trista Polo's accountability coaching for women. Individual or group sessions provide proactive support and guidance you need to stay motivated and committed. Gain clarity, set actionable goals, and surpass your limits with Trista's personalized strategies. Unlock your potential and thrive with accountability coaching.
Leadership Coaching: Elevate your leadership skills with Trista Polo's coaching program for women. Whether on an individual or group basis, Trista provides tailored guidance to help you unleash your full leadership potential. Develop your unique leadership style, enhance your communication abilities, and overcome challenges with confidence. Gain the tools and insights needed to lead with authenticity and inspire others. Step into your role as a powerful and influential leader with Trista's expert coaching support.

Connect and Share: Engage with the Author and Community

Your confidence-building journey doesn't have to be a solo adventure. We invite you to connect with the author and share your experiences, questions, and insights on the I Woke Up Awesome Facebook page . Together, we can create a supportive and empowering community that uplifts one another on the path to entrepreneurial success.

Engage with the Author:

Connect with the author through social media platforms like Facebook , TikTok , Instagram , LinkedIn , Youtube . Stay updated on new content, inspirational quotes, and engage in conversations about self-worth, self-love, confidence, and business success. Get updates on upcoming book, "Self-Worth Shenanigans: An Awesome Journey to Unleashing Your Inner Confidence" and share your thoughts, ask questions, and let your voice be heard!

Share Your Story:

Your story matters, and your experiences can inspire others. I encourage you to share your personal triumphs, challenges, and lessons learned on your confidence-building journey. Whether through comments on the blog post or by connecting on social media, let's create a space where we can celebrate one another's growth and provide support when needed.

Remember, you're not alone on this path. Together, we can build a community of confident entrepreneurs who support, inspire, and uplift each other to reach new heights.

Keep expanding your knowledge, nurturing your confidence, and soaring to new heights! Take these strategies, shake off those doubts, and celebrate your entrepreneurial superpowers.

How to Boost Your Self-Love as a Busy Entrepreneur in 2024

Sat, 13 Jan 2024 00:30:00 GMT

Tips for Busy Entrepreneurs to Prioritize Self-Love and Why It's So Important

I know this - if you're an entrepreneur, you're busy. So, as a busy entrepreneur, it can be easy to get caught up in the day-to-day tasks of running a business and forget to prioritize your own well-being. Between client meetings, networking events, and managing your team, taking time for yourself can feel like a luxury you can't afford. However, neglecting self care and self love can lead to burnout and make it difficult to sustain the success you've worked hard to attain.

That's why it's crucial to make self-love a priority, even in the midst of the hustle and bustle of entrepreneurship. In this article, we'll explore why self-love is important for busy entrepreneurs and provide practical tips and strategies for boosting your self-love, even when you are short on time. Whether you're just starting out on your entrepreneurial journey or you are a seasoned business owner, these tips will help you take care of yourself and stay focused on achieving your goals. So, let's dive in!

Recognizing the Need for Self-Love

As a busy entrepreneur, it's easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of everyday life. You may find yourself constantly pushing yourself to the limit, neglecting your own needs and desires. While this drive and determination can be admirable, it can also lead to negative consequences if not balanced with self-love.

The negative effects of neglecting self-love

Neglecting self-love can lead to burnout, low self-esteem, and even physical and mental health issues. When you constantly put others' needs before your own, you may begin to feel drained, stressed, and resentful. This can take a toll on your overall well-being, leaving you feeling exhausted and unfulfilled.

Signs that indicate a need for more self-love

It's important to recognize the signs that indicate a need for more self-love. These can include feeling overwhelmed, experiencing negative self-talk, feeling disconnected from your emotions, and lacking motivation or passion for your work. If you're experiencing any of these symptoms, it's time to take a step back and prioritize your own needs. Remember, you can't pour from an empty cup, and taking care of yourself is essential for success as an entrepreneur.

Strategies for Boosting Self-Love

As a busy entrepreneur, it can be easy to neglect self-love in favor of constantly pushing yourself to work harder and achieve more. However, taking time to prioritize self-care and self-love is essential for maintaining a healthy mindset and preventing burnout. Here are some effective strategies for boosting self-love:

Practicing Gratitude

One of the most effective ways to boost self-love is to practice gratitude regularly. Research has shown that expressing gratitude can improve overall well-being and increase feelings of positivity and self-worth. Even in the midst of a busy schedule, taking just a few minutes each day to reflect on what you're grateful for can make a big difference.

To incorporate gratitude into your busy life, consider starting a daily gratitude journal or setting aside time each morning or evening to think about what you're thankful for. You can also try including gratitude into your daily routine by expressing thanks for small things throughout the day, such as a good cup of coffee or a supportive colleague.

Prioritizing Rest and Relaxation

While it may seem counterintuitive, taking time to rest and relax is actually essential for maintaining productivity and achieving success as an entrepreneur. When you're constantly pushing yourself to work harder and do more, you run the risk of burning out and experiencing negative impacts on your mental health and overall well-being.

To prioritize rest and relaxation, make it a point to schedule downtime into your calendar just as you would schedule work tasks. Whether it's taking a yoga class, breathing deeply to the count of 4 for 5 minutes, going for a walk outside, or simply enjoying a good book, finding time for rest and relaxation can help you recharge and return to your work with renewed focus and energy.

Embracing Self-Compassion

Finally, it's essential to look for ways to have self-compassion in order to cultivate self-love. Self-compassion involves treating yourself with kindness and understanding, even in the face of failure or setbacks. By embracing self-compassion, you can improve your overall sense of self-worth and reduce negative self-talk.

To cultivate self-compassion, try speaking to yourself as you would to a close friend. Give yourself permission to make mistakes and recognize that everyone experiences failures and setbacks at times. By treating yourself with kindness and compassion, you can build a stronger sense of self-love and resilience in the face of challenges.

Tips for Maintaining Self-Love Habits

As with any habit, consistency is key to maintaining your self-love routine. Here are some tips to help you stay on track:

Creating a self-love routine

One way to ensure that you are consistently choosing self-love is to create a routine that has self-love activities into your daily or weekly schedule. This can include things like journaling, choosing mindfulness, or taking a relaxing bath. By setting aside dedicated time for these activities, you are sending yourself the message that your self-care is a priority.

Holding yourself accountable

Holding yourself accountable is another important aspect of maintaining self-love. This can be done in a variety of ways, such as tracking your progress in a journal, sharing your goals with a friend or accountability partner, or using an app or tracker to monitor your progress. By regularly checking in with yourself and monitoring your progress, you are more likely to stay motivated and committed to your self-love routine.

Remember, self-love is not a destination, but a journey. It requires consistent effort and attention, but the rewards are well worth it. By prioritizing self-love, you will not only feel better emotionally and physically, but you will also be better equipped to handle the challenges and demands of a busy entrepreneurial life.

Starting with Small, Manageable Steps towards Self-Love

It's important to acknowledge that self-love is not a luxury but a necessity for our emotional well-being and success.

One way to practice self love in our busy lives is by taking small, manageable steps. These small steps can make a big impact over time and help us shift towards a more self-loving mindset. Here are some ways to increase self-love in small ways:

Wake up 10 minutes earlier and meditate or take a few deep breaths to start your day with intention and calmness. This simple action can help you feel more centered and present throughout the day.
Move your body for at least 15 minutes a day, whether it's going for a walk, doing some yoga, or dancing to your favorite song. Moving your body not only benefits your physical health but also boosts your mood and energy. Even if you don't have time to exercise, a 10 minute dance break to your favorite songs will make a difference.
Keep track of your sleep habits and prioritize getting enough hours of sleep each night. Lack of sleep can negatively impact our emotional well-being and limit our ability to perform at our best. Aim for at least seven to eight hours of sleep each night and create a relaxing bedtime routine to help you unwind and prepare for a restful night's sleep.
Schedule mindfulness and meditation first thing in the morning at least 4 time per week. Taking a few minutes each day to be present and focused can help reduce stress, anxiety, and overwhelm. Start with just a few minutes a day and gradually increase as you feel comfortable.

Conclusion: Boosting Your Self-Love as a Busy Entrepreneur

As a busy entrepreneur, it can be easy to put your own needs on the back burner while you focus on growing your business. However, neglecting self-love can have negative effects on both your personal and professional life. In this article, we've discussed the importance of recognizing the need for self-love, and strategies for boosting self-love such as practicing gratitude, prioritizing rest and relaxation, and embracing self-compassion. It's time to take action and choose yourself. Start small if you have to. Every little bit helps.

But it's not enough to just start these rituals - it's important to maintain them in the long run. Creating a self-love routine and holding yourself accountable can help you stay on track and make self-love a sustainable part of your life. You found this information for a reason. This brief guide is your opportunity to take action and begin.

Remember, self-love is not selfish, it's necessary for your wellbeing and success. By prioritizing self-love, you'll be better equipped to handle the challenges that come with being a busy entrepreneur, and you'll be more likely to win at work and life!

If you need help creating self-love habits in your life, consider working with a mentor or coach. As a self-love coach, I can offer guidance, support, and accountability to help you achieve your goals and improve your overall wellbeing. Book a free 15-minute coaching session with me today to see how I can help you boost your self-love and achieve success as a busy entrepreneur.

Pre-Order Your Journey to Self-Love Now!

Ready to dive deeper into the world of self-love shenanigans? Pre-order your copy of the book today and embark on a transformative journey to loving your authentic self, unconditionally. Plus, receive updates about purchasing a discounted copy and other exclusive content. Visit I Woke Up Awesome - Self-Love Shenanigans to secure your copy and start living your most authentic life!

2024 Goals: Reclaim Your Journey and Leave Digital Envy Behind

Mon, 08 Jan 2024 20:27:34 GMT

The sparkly dust of New Year's resolutions has settled, yet the whispers of "better me" linger. We cling to meticulously crafted lists, aiming for sculpted physiques, overflowing bank accounts, and Instagram-worthy lives. But what if, amidst this goal-setting frenzy, we've missed something crucial? What if the most transformative journey of 2024 lies not in achieving, but in reclaiming? Taking back our lives from the insidious grip of envy and redefining success through the potent lens of self-love.

Hold on, before you dismiss this as another fluffy self-help cliché. This isn't a call to ditch your aspirations; it's a revolution in how we pursue them. It's about shifting the focus from external validation to internal fulfillment, from ticking boxes on a to-do list to embracing the messy, magnificent journey of personal growth.

Unmasking the Envy Trap:

Let's be honest, those flawlessly filtered snapshots of exotic vacations, perfect relationships, and chiseled bodies...they are enough to make anyone jealous. But we all know that they're carefully curated illusions, not the full story. Real life, for all its beauty, is a vibrant tapestry of progress and setbacks, awkward dance moves and burnt dinners, moments of quiet reflection and bursts of uncontrollable laughter. It's messy, unpredictable, and infinitely more captivating than any filtered feed.

The first thing to do in your 2024 journey is recognizing the seductive lie of comparison. Instead of scrolling through feeds that fuel resentment and self-doubt, remind yourself: those highlight reels are not your reality. They're the carefully constructed facades of a world obsessed with perfection, not authenticity. Own the messy beauty of your story, celebrate the stumbles and the triumphs, because authenticity is the ultimate glow-up.

Step 1: Digital Detox for a Clearer Vision:

It's time to reclaim your mind and attention. Start with a digital detox. Set boundaries around screen time, be it a phone-free evening or a designated "no-tech" weekend. Notice how this detox shifts your focus from curated online realities to the richness of your own internal world. You might be surprised by the creativity, joy, and inspiration that emerges when you pivot away from the comparison trap.

Step 2: Cultivate Self-Love, Your Secret Weapon:

Forget the bubble baths and fluffy affirmations (though, self-care is never a bad idea). Self-love is a deeper, more intentional practice. It's about accepting and celebrating who you are, flaws and all. It's about appreciating the unique tapestry of your experiences, your quirks, your passions, and your very own, inimitable spark.

Talk to yourself with kindness, the way you'd talk to a dear friend. Silencing the inner critic is a journey, but every time you replace a self-deprecating thought with a word of affirmation, you plant a seed in the garden of self-love. Watch it bloom, nurture it with self-compassion, and witness how it transforms your perspective.

Step 3: Craft Goals with Soul, Not Checkboxes:

Now, onto those goals. Let's ditch the generic resolutions dictated by societal expectations and dig deep into the fertile soil of your own desires. What makes your heart sing? What fuels your curiosity and sparks your soul? Craft goals that align with your core values, your deepest desires, and your unique perspective on the world.

These aren't about checking boxes or impressing followers. They're about becoming the best version of you, not chasing someone else's definition of success. Want to write a novel? Do it for the joy of storytelling, not the potential bestseller dream. Aim to run a marathon? Focus on the exhilarating freedom of movement, not the coveted race medal. Remember, your journey is not a competition, it's a celebration of your own becoming.

Step 4: Embrace Slow Glow-Up, Not Burnout Rush:

Sustainable progress is the key to a real glow-up. Forget the crash-and-burn sprints towards some arbitrary finish line. Instead, embrace the gentle rhythm of your own growth. Celebrate small wins, acknowledge bumps in the road as opportunities for learning, and be kind to yourself, because the road to self-discovery is a winding one, paved with both sunshine and rain.

Remember, a burnt-out, stressed-out version of you won't achieve genuine fulfillment. Prioritize your well-being, build in moments of rest and rejuvenation, and listen to your body's whispers. This isn't a race; it's a dance, and the most important rule is to enjoy the music of your own journey.

Step 5: Find Your Tribe, Not Your Rivals (The Anti-Envy Squad!)

The path to self-love and authentic goals is infinitely brighter when walked alongside supportive companions. Surround yourself with people who celebrate your unique glow, not fuel your insecurities. Choose an anti-envy squad, a tribe that cheers you on, not drags you down. Find individuals who inspire you, challenge you, and remind you of the magnificent being you truly are.

Remember, comparison thrives in isolation. But in a community of love and acceptance, it withers, replaced by the nourishing warmth of mutual support. So gather your chosen family, those who lift you up without dimming your own light, and let their joy fuel your journey.

Step 6: Cultivate Self-Awareness, Your Envy Buster:

Envy often lurks beneath the surface, an unconscious thief of joy. Combat it with the power of self-awareness. Pay attention to your triggers. What kind of content makes you feel insecure? What situations spark feelings of jealousy? Once you identify these triggers, you can actively choose to avoid them or reframe your perspective.

Meditation is a great tool for honing this self-awareness. As you sit in quiet stillness, observe your thoughts and emotions without judgment. You'll be surprised at how much clarity emerges from simply observing your internal landscape.

Step 7: Embark on a New Adventure (Beyond Envy's Grasp):

Sometimes, the best way to break free from the envy trap is to get outside your comfort zone. Embrace a new hobby, travel to a new place, take a class you've always wanted to try. Challenging yourself opens new doors to learning, growth, and joy. It reminds you of your own unique capabilities and helps you appreciate the richness of the world beyond the curated online bubble.

Remember, venturing outside your comfort zone is an act of self-love. It shows you trust yourself and are willing to explore your potential. And who knows, you might just stumble upon a passion you never knew existed.

Step 8: Celebrate All Wins, Big or Small (Anti-Envy Therapy):

It's tempting to focus on the "big" goals, the milestones that scream "success." But in doing so, we often overlook the small victories that pave the way. Make a conscious effort to celebrate every win, no matter how seemingly insignificant. Finished a chapter of your novel? Rejoice! Mastered a yoga pose you thought impossible? Dance with joy!

Each movement forward, each accomplishment, no matter how small, is a testament to your resilience and dedication. Celebrating these victories boosts your confidence, fuels your motivation, and helps you cultivate a more positive outlook. It's an antidote to envy and a powerful reminder that your journey is worth celebrating.

Step 9: Remember, It's a Journey, Not a Destination (Embrace the Ups and Downs):

Personal growth is rarely linear. There will be days where you feel unstoppable, on top of the world, and days where self-doubt and jealousy creep in. This is all part of the journey. The key is to embrace the ups and downs, the setbacks and triumphs, as valuable experiences that shape you into the person you're becoming.

Don't let fleeting moments of jealousy and comparisonitis derail your progress. Acknowledge them, learn from them, and most importantly, remember your "why." Why are you on this journey? What are you ultimately striving for? Reconnect with your aspirations and use them as your compass to navigate the inevitable stumbles along the way.

Pre-Order Your Journey to Self-Love Now!

Embracing Your Inner Weirdo: The Journey to Authentic Self-Love

Tue, 02 Jan 2024 23:25:03 GMT

The Beauty of Authenticity

Welcome to a journey authentic self-love. In a world brimming with societal expectations and pressure to conform, the act of truly accepting yourself completely is both an act of rebellion and a celebration. Join me as we cast off the shadows of doubt and bask in the light of love and light—your own.

Embracing your authentic self isn't just a fleeting trend; it's a powerful stance against the peer pressure that often dictates our choices. It's about living a life filled with authenticity, where your core values, beliefs and values, and the things and people that truly matter are in perfect harmony. But to live authentic means, you need to feel worthy of love, to embrace self-acceptance and self-love as non-negotiable aspects of your being.

Whether you're an entrepreneur looking to inject more of your personality into your business, a creative soul tired of muffling your quirks, or simply someone who wants to rediscover the joy of being unapologetically you, this is where your transformation begins. Let's embark on this adventure together and look at how embracing our difference in the world can dramatically shift your perception of self-worth, self-awareness, and self-confidence.

Why Your Uniqueness Is Your Superpower

Embracing the Quirks: The Magnetism of Authenticity In the grand tapestry of life, those who weave in their vibrant, unique threads stand out the most. Embracing your quirks is not just about self-acceptance; it's about celebrating your authenticity. When you express who you are unapolagetically, you become a beacon for others, attracting like-minded souls and inspiring admiration from those around you. Authenticity is magnetic, drawing people to your confidence and self-assuredness. It's about living your life with the volume turned up on all the things that make you, well, you.

The Confidence Connection Unleashing your inner weirdo isn't just about letting your freak flag fly; it's about owning it with pride and confidence. When you stop hiding and embrace authenticity, you unlock a level of self-confidence that radiates from the inside out. Imagine your life if you were free of the fear of judgement and every step you took was grounded in self-love and acceptance. It's about understanding that your self-worth is not a question—it's a statement. And as you step into this light, you illuminate the path for others to love and accept you as you are, quirks included.

The Liberating Effect: Authentic Living Without Apology To live a more authentic life is to shed the layers of expectation and judgment that society often imposes. It's a liberating journey that allows you to explore and express all parts of your personality without fear or apology. This freedom is not just about feeling good; it's about being good to yourself and to the world around you. Authenticity means making decisions that align with your core values and beliefs, celebrating your uniqueness, and finding strength in your individuality.

Your Tribe Awaits: Live Your Life with People that Love Your Authentic Self

Finding Your People: The Power of a Supportive Community In the quest for authentic self-love, the company you keep can significantly influence your journey. Surrounding yourself with people who lift you up and celebrate your individuality is crucial. This section delves into the importance of building a tribe that resonates with your authentic self. It's about seeking out and nurturing relationships with those who encourage your self-acceptance and self-love, who admire your uniqueness, and who support you in living authentically. Whether they're friends, family, or a wider community, these are the people who will cheer for you as you embrace your weirdness and walk the path of personal growth.

Creating Authentic Connections: The Role of Vulnerability and Openness Authentic connections are built on the foundations of vulnerability and openness. To attract and maintain relationships that truly reflect and support you, you need to choose to focus on living your truth.

Navigating the Shift: Transitioning to a More Authentic Circle As you evolve and become more aligned with your true self, your social circle may shift. This part addresses the challenges and rewards of transitioning to a more authentic circle of friends and acquaintances. It's about recognizing the need to feel supported and understood and sometimes having to make difficult decisions about who you spend your time with. Offer guidance on how to gently let go of relationships that no longer serve your highest self and how to open up space for new, more resonant connections. Emphasize the importance of surrounding yourself with love and light, creating an environment that continuously fosters your growth and self-worth.

Cultivating Positivity: Strategies for Building Your Tribe Lastly, provide readers with practical strategies for actively cultivating and attracting a supportive tribe. Discuss the significance of shared activities, interests, and values in forming lasting bonds. Encourage participation in communities, whether online or in-person, where authentic self-expression is celebrated. Suggest ways to become a magnet for positive relationships by embodying the qualities you seek in others, like kindness, openness, and authenticity. Highlight how personal development, through practices like self-care and trauma therapy when needed, can enhance one's ability to form and maintain healthy, positive relationships.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q1: How can I start living more authentically?

A1: It starts with self-awareness and a commitment to understanding and embracing your true self. It involves identifying your core values, recognizing your unique strengths and weaknesses, and making decisions that align with your true identity. Begin by reflecting on what authenticity means to you, and take steps to align your actions and choices with your authentic self.

Q2: What if I feel resistance from my current friends or family as I embrace my weirdness?

A2: Resistance from friends or family can be challenging as you start to live more authentically. It's important to communicate openly about your journey and why it matters to you. Seek to understand their perspective, but also give yourself permission to prioritize your own growth and well-being. Remember, as you evolve, your relationships may shift, and that's okay. Surround yourself with people who support and uplift you.

Q3: Can embracing my uniqueness really improve my self-love and confidence?

A3: Absolutely. Embracing your uniqueness is a powerful way to boost self-love and confidence. When you own and celebrate what makes you different, you affirm your worth and value. This can lead to increased self-esteem, a stronger sense of identity, and a more fulfilling life. Authenticity is not just about accepting yourself; it's about loving and valuing all parts of who you are.

Q4: How do I handle negative self-talk as I strive to live more authentically?

A4: Negative self-talk can be a barrier to living authentically. Start by becoming aware of your inner dialogue and challenging any negative thoughts. Replace them with positive affirmations and statements that reinforce your value and capabilities. Remember, self-talk is a habit that can be changed with practice and patience. Seek support from therapy or counseling if needed to address deeper issues of self-loathing or self-doubt.

The Authentic Path to Self-Discovery and Love

As we wrap up this exploration of waking up and smelling the awesome, remember that the journey to embracing your true self is both exhilarating and challenging. It's a path filled with self-discovery, growth, and an ever-deepening love for who you are. Authenticity is not a destination but a continuous journey of becoming more aligned with your true essence and expressing it unapologetically.

Embrace each step of this journey with courage and curiosity. Celebrate your quirks, cultivate your tribe, and spread kindness both anonymously and openly. The world needs your unique light, and as you shine brightly, you inspire others to do the same. Remember, your weirdness is not a weakness; it's a wonderful, defining aspect of your incredible story.

Keep nurturing your self-love, seeking out authentic connections, and living a life that resonates with your deepest truths. And most importantly, be patient and kind to yourself as you navigate this journey. The path to self-love and authenticity is not always smooth, but it is always worth it.

Pre-Order Your Journey to Self-Love Now!

Ready to dive deeper into the world of self-love shenanigans? Pre-order your copy of the book today and embark on a transformative journey to embracing your authentic self. Plus, receive updates about purchasing a discounted copy and other exclusive content. Visit I Woke Up Awesome - Self-Love Shenanigans to secure your copy and start living your most authentic life!

Navigating the Gig Economy: The Good, The Bad, The Alternatives for Delivery Workers

Thu, 05 Oct 2023 20:48:25 GMT

Getting Started in Food Delivery Work

In a world where the convenience of getting almost anything delivered to your doorstep has become the norm, the appeal of gig work, especially in the food delivery sector, has skyrocketed. The idea of cruising around the city, with the freedom to choose your working hours, all while earning some extra cash on the side, seems quite enticing. It's like having your cake (or delivering it!) and eating it too.

Venturing into the world of food delivery can be both exciting and nerve-wracking. The appeal of earning money on a flexible schedule draws many to this side hustle. Yet, the reality of navigating the gig economy, especially as a delivery driver, comes with its set of challenges. Here’s a starter guide to help you wade through the initial steps of becoming a food delivery driver, whether it’s through Uber Eats, DoorDash, Grubhub, or any other platform. By understanding the nuances of different platforms, pay structures, and essential gear, you'll be better equipped to make informed decisions on this journey.

Choosing the Right Food Delivery Work Platform

Your success in the food delivery sector largely depends on choosing a platform that aligns with your goals and the market demand in your area. The leading food delivery platforms include Uber Eats, DoorDash, and Grubhub, each with its unique set of pros and cons.

Uber Eats: Known for its extensive network and high demand, especially in urban areas. However, the competition among drivers can be fierce.
DoorDash: Offers a user-friendly app and often has a high volume of orders. The Dasher community is also known for being supportive.
Grubhub: Renowned for its higher pay per delivery, but might have fewer orders depending on the area.

The market demand in your area plays a significant role. Platforms like Uber and DoorDash might have a solid customer base in urban areas, but in smaller towns, a local delivery service might hold the reins. Research the demand in your area, perhaps by talking to existing gig workers, to choose the platform that's likely to bring you the most business.

Understanding the Pay Structure of the Delivery Service

The pay structure in the gig economy, particularly in food delivery work, can be a bit complex. Here's a breakdown of how it generally works:

Base Pay: This is the fixed amount you receive per delivery. It's determined by the distance, time, and desirability of the order.
Tips: Customer tips can significantly boost your earnings. Some platforms show the tip amount upfront, while others reveal it after the delivery.
Bonuses and Incentives: Platforms often offer bonuses during busy hours or when you complete a certain number of deliveries.

According to data from Indeed, the average hourly pay for a DoorDash delivery driver is around $14, while Uber Eats drivers earn an average of $12 per hour. However, these figures can fluctuate widely depending on the area, day, and hours you work.

Essential Gear for Your Gig Economy Job

As you set off on this delivery journey, having the right gear is crucial. Here’s a checklist to get you started:

Efficient Vehicle: Gas mileage matters. An efficient, reliable vehicle can help keep your costs down.
Smartphone: A smartphone with a robust data plan is essential for managing your deliveries through the app.
Insulated Delivery Bags: Keeping food at the right temperature is key to customer satisfaction, and insulated bags are a must-have.
Car Chargers and Phone Mount: These will keep your phone charged and easily accessible as you navigate from one delivery to the next.

Starting a gig as a food delivery driver is about equipping yourself with the right tools and understanding the landscape you're diving into. The challenges can be daunting, but with a solid grasp of what to expect, you're one step closer to making an informed decision on whether this gig is right for you. As you explore this venture, the idea of delving into an online platform business that rewards you instantly for recommending products might also catch your fancy. A shift towards such a model can offer a more structured earning opportunity, bridging the gap between the unpredictable nature of delivery gigs and a steady income source.

In our next segment, we'll delve deeper into alternative earning avenues, including a unique proposition that transcends the conventional gig economy framework. Stay tuned, and in the meantime, feel free to explore the world of delivery driving with the insights provided above.

The Daily Grind of a Food Delivery Rider

Embarking on a journey as a food delivery rider is like taking a roller-coaster ride through the bustling streets of the city. Every day brings a new set of challenges, be it battling traffic, ensuring customer satisfaction, or securing personal safety. Let’s delve into the nitty-gritty of a day in the life of a delivery rider, shedding light on both the hurdles and the triumphs that come along the way.

Navigating the City Where You Choose to be a Food Delivery Driver

The very essence of food delivery work lies in navigating through the city's veins, delivering sustenance to people’s doorsteps. However, the reality of darting through traffic, finding a spot to park, and ensuring timely deliveries can test your patience and skills.

Traffic: The bane of a delivery driver's existence, traffic can significantly delay delivery times, affecting your ratings and tips. An Uber Eats driver from New York quoted, “It’s a race against time, every minute counts especially during rush hours.”
Parking: Finding a legal and safe parking spot near the drop-off location is another hurdle. In crowded urban areas, this can be a game of chance.
Timely Deliveries: Meeting delivery times is crucial for maintaining a good rating. It's a delicate balance of speed and safety.

Handling Customer Expectations

Customer service is the cornerstone of successful gig work in the delivery realm.

Customer Complaints: Handling complaints with grace, be it wrong orders or delayed delivery, is part of the job. It’s about finding solutions promptly and maintaining a positive demeanor.
Ratings: A good rating can significantly impact your visibility and order frequency on the platform. Every interaction, every delivery counts.
Customer Service: Going the extra mile to ensure customer satisfaction can pay off in the form of tips and good reviews. A simple smile or a polite gesture can go a long way.

Staying Safe when Becoming a Food Delivery Driver

The gig economy often entails working at odd hours, and for food delivery drivers, safety during late-night deliveries is paramount.

Late-Night Deliveries: Venturing into unfamiliar or poorly lit neighborhoods can be risky. It's advisable to stay vigilant and be aware of your surroundings.
Personal Safety Gear: Investing in personal safety gear like pepper spray or a personal alarm can provide a sense of security.
Vehicle Safety: Ensuring your vehicle is in top-notch condition is crucial to prevent breakdowns in undesirable locations.

The life of a delivery driver in the gig economy is far from a smooth ride. However, amidst the daily grind, the sense of freedom and the potential to earn on your terms shines through. Yet, there's a budding conversation around seeking alternative avenues that still uphold the essence of gig work while providing a steadier income stream and a community-centric environment. As the food delivery market continues to evolve, so do the opportunities that lie beyond the traditional gig economy framework. Our next segment will introduce a fresh perspective on leveraging online platforms to create a sustainable and rewarding gig experience.

The Less Glamorous Side of Gig Economy Jobs

The allure of flexible work hours and being your own boss in the gig economy often overshadows the less glamorous aspects of gig work. Like any other job, food delivery work comes with its share of downsides that are crucial to consider before diving in headfirst. Let’s unravel the often overlooked facets of gig work that every aspiring delivery driver should be aware of.

The Wear and Tear Of Food Delivery Service

Every mile you drive, every pothole you dodge, contributes to the gradual wear and tear of your vehicle. The hidden costs of vehicle maintenance can chip away at your earnings over time.

Vehicle Maintenance: Regular maintenance, unexpected repairs, and depreciation are significant factors. An average gig worker spends around $100 to $400 monthly on vehicle maintenance, depending on the vehicle's age and condition.
Fuel Prices: With fluctuating fuel prices, a significant chunk of your earnings can go towards keeping your tank full. In 2022, the average fuel cost per mile was around $0.15, which can add up quickly on a busy delivery day.
Other Hidden Expenses: Things like tolls, parking tickets, and even car washes contribute to the less apparent costs associated with delivery work.

The Unpredictable Income Due to Delivery Costs and Other Costs

The income in gig work is as unpredictable as the weather. While some days can be bountiful, others can leave you high and dry.

Earnings Inconsistency: The fluctuation in daily earnings can make budgeting a challenging task. A Dasher from San Francisco mentioned, "Some days I hit a jackpot with over $200, and other days it's a struggle to make even $50."
Peak Hours: Earnings often spike during lunch and dinner times, but the slow hours in between can be financially draining.
Customer Tips: The reliance on customer tips can lead to significant income inconsistency. The tips can vary widely from one delivery to another, impacting overall earnings.

Lack of Benefits for the Gig Worker

One stark reality of gig work is the absence of traditional employment benefits.

Healthcare Benefits: Gig workers are often on their own when it comes to healthcare benefits. The lack of employer-sponsored healthcare can be a significant drawback.
Paid Time Off: There's no paid sick leave or vacation time in the gig economy. Every day off is a day without earnings.
Retirement Plans: Without employer-sponsored retirement plans, gig workers need to plan for their retirement independently, which can be a daunting task.

The path of gig work is laden with both opportunities and challenges. As the demand for food delivery continues to soar, understanding the intricacies of this work arrangement is vital for making informed decisions. Our subsequent sections will delve into alternative gig opportunities that offer a more structured earning model while retaining the essence of gig work.

Considering Alternative Side Hustle: The UnFranchise Business Concept

The roller-coaster ride of earnings, coupled with the lack of job security in the gig economy, often leads many to seek alternative or supplementary income avenues. One such alternative is engaging in an online platform business that rewards you instantly for recommending products. It's about transitioning from delivering food to delivering value through product recommendations.

Pitfalls of Food Delivery Gigs: The unpredictable income, lack of benefits, and the physical toll of delivery work can be daunting over time. As a delivery driver, your earnings are directly tied to the number of deliveries you make, which can be exhausting.
Advantages of Online Platform Business: Contrarily, an online platform business empowers you with a virtual storefront, where earnings potential is not capped by the number of hours you put in. The instant payment for product recommendations is a refreshing change from waiting for weekly payouts.
UnFranchise Business Model: The UnFranchise Business model coupled with SHOP.COM's Virtual Interactive Financial Transactions (VIFT) wallet offers a structured approach towards earning. It’s a community-driven model that encourages continuous learning and provides a platform for stable earnings. It’s about leveraging the power of collective buying and earning on terms defined by you, not a gig platform.

Inviting a Change for the Gig Worker

Change is the only constant, and when it beckons towards a more stable and rewarding work model, it’s worth the consideration.

Zoom into the Future : An invitation is extended to you to join a Zoom session to explore the UnFranchise Business model in detail. It’s an avenue to learn, interact, and see firsthand the potential of moving beyond the gig economy.
Control, Community, and Continuous Learning: The shift from gig work to a model that fosters community, control over your earnings, and continuous learning can be a game-changer in your professional journey.

Conclusion

Navigating the gig economy as a food delivery rider is akin to riding through the bustling streets - it’s filled with unexpected turns, bumps, and the occasional traffic jam. However, it also holds the promise of adventure, independence, and the satisfaction of delivering smiles, one order at a time. Yet, the potential of exploring alternative earning models like the UnFranchise Business beckons. It’s an invitation to transition from a path of endless deliveries to a journey of endless possibilities. The choice between remaining a cog in the gig economy wheel or steering your ship in the vast ocean of online business opportunities awaits. The road is open, and the possibilities are as vast as the open road that lies ahead of a delivery driver at the break of dawn.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)

What makes gig work in the delivery sector appealing?

The gig work in the delivery sector, particularly through platforms like Uber Eats, DoorDash, and others, offers a flexible work arrangement allowing individuals to earn extra cash on their schedule.

How does the pay structure for a delivery driver work in the gig economy?

The pay structure typically consists of a base pay per delivery, plus tips, and sometimes bonuses during high-demand times. The earnings can fluctuate based on demand for food delivery, location, and individual work hours.

Is a special driver's application required to start with food delivery work?

Yes, platforms like Uber Eats and DoorDash have their respective driver apps which you need to download to start accepting delivery requests.

How does the demand for food delivery affect gig economy jobs?

The demand for food delivery has surged, especially post-pandemic, creating more gig economy jobs for those interested in delivery work.

What's the future of food delivery in the gig economy?

With the continuous growth of online food delivery platforms, it's expected that gig economy jobs in the delivery sector will continue to evolve, offering various opportunities and challenges.

How does the gig economy delivery compare to traditional delivery jobs?

Gig economy delivery jobs offer more flexibility and autonomy but often come with less job security and benefits compared to traditional delivery jobs.

What are the leading food delivery platforms in the gig economy?

Leading food delivery platforms include Uber Eats, DoorDash, GrubHub, and Postmates among others.

Is there an opportunity to earn extra income outside of food deliveries in the gig economy?

Yes, the gig economy is expansive with various platforms offering opportunities to earn extra income beyond food deliveries, like rideshare or even online platform business models such as the UnFranchise Business concept.

What are some alternatives to gig work in the food delivery market?

Alternatives include exploring online business opportunities that allow for earnings through recommending products, like the UnFranchise Business model, which also offers a community-centric approach.

How do I transition from gig work to an alternative like the UnFranchise Business model?

Attending informative Zoom sessions can provide insights into transitioning from gig work to a model like the UnFranchise Business, offering more control and continuous learning opportunities.

Standing Alone in the Gig Work Economy: The Isolation of Food Delivery

Wed, 04 Oct 2023 19:42:42 GMT

The Solitude of the Gig Worker Economy

Introduction: The gig economy has blossomed into a mainstream work arrangement, offering the allure of flexibility, autonomy, and a change from the monotony of 9 to 5 jobs. As of 2022, a significant chunk of the labour market has transitioned into gig work, redefining the traditional employment narrative. From food delivery to app-based taxi services, the gamut of gig work is expansive. However, beneath the surface of this apparent flexibility and self-determination lurk challenges that are often overlooked. Among these, the social isolation and stunted career growth gig workers often experience are notable. This blog post delves into the realms of social isolation and the lack of structured career development pathways in the gig economy, shedding light on the impact on the individuals immersed in this modern-day work arrangement.

The Reality of Social Isolation in Gig Work

Engaging in gig work often entails a solitary journey, devoid of the camaraderie found in traditional work settings. The autonomy, a cherished aspect of gig work, ironically paves the way to social isolation. Many gig workers, especially in the app-based or platform-based food-delivery sector, spend hours on end working alone, with the only human interaction being brief exchanges with customers or perhaps other gig workers on the road. This form of work, while liberating from the constraints of organisational bureaucracy, strips away the essence of community, leading to a void that's hard to fill.

A study diving into the implications for career practice and research in the gig economy underscores the precarity and social isolation inherent in such work arrangements. The decent work agenda often falls short in the realm of gig work, where the lack of a stable work environment and the absence of co-worker interactions contribute to a sense of detachment.

The Emotional Toll

The emotional toll social isolation takes on gig workers isn’t to be underestimated. The human predisposition towards social interaction is undeniable, and the lack of it in the digital platform realm of gig work can lead to feelings of loneliness and, in extreme cases, may contribute to mental health issues. The COVID-19 pandemic exacerbated this isolation, as the fear of contagion and the ensuing lockdowns drove a wedge between people, making the social aspect of work even more scarce.

The absence of a supportive work environment, devoid of mentors or a sense of belonging, often leaves gig workers in a silo, grappling with the challenges of gig work alone. The on-demand economy does offer the lure of flexible work, but at what cost? The juxtaposition of autonomy and isolation paints a complex picture of the gig worker’s experience, one that warrants a deeper understanding and discourse, to foster a global gig economy that doesn’t compromise on the human need for connection and growth.

The narrative of gig work is often glorified, but the reality, as experienced by many gig workers, can be starkly different. As the gig economy is expanding, it's imperative to consider the holistic well-being of the gig workforce, to ensure that the modern-day labour market policies evolve in tandem with the changing dynamics of work, embracing not just the economic but also the social and emotional facets of the gig economy.

Impact on Mental Health

The gig economy, though lauded for its flexibility, poses a distinct challenge when it comes to mental health. The solitude inherent in much of gig work can exacerbate feelings of anxiety or depression. The autonomy, which initially may seem liberating, over time, could morph into a silo of isolation, distancing gig workers from the mainstream labour market and the societal interactions it entails.

Moreover, the precarious nature of gig work, where job security is often a distant dream, further fuels stress and anxiety. Many gig workers find themselves on a hamster wheel of endless tasks with the ‘on-demand’ nature of the job, adding a layer of pressure to remain continually available. The absence of a structured work schedule, a defining characteristic of traditional employment, leaves many in the gig economy with a blurred line between personal time and work time.

In a world where mental health has taken center stage, especially post the Covid-19 pandemic, the implications for career practice in gig work need a thorough examination. The decent work agenda should extend its purview to encompass the mental well-being of gig workers, providing avenues for social interaction, community building, and psychological support.

The Ladder with Missing Rungs: Career Development in Food Delivery

The gig economy’s structure, or rather the lack of it, presents a unique quandary when it comes to career development. Unlike the well-trodden paths of career progression in traditional organizational setups, gig work often resembles a vast ocean with no defined ladders to climb.

The Absence of Traditional Career Ladders for Gig Workers

In the conventional employment landscape, career ladders are well-defined, with clear milestones and a somewhat predictable trajectory. However, gig workers often find themselves navigating an amorphous career pathway, with no clear markers of progression. The lack of a structured work environment devoid of mentors, supervisors, or role models leaves many gig workers in a vacuum when it comes to career growth and skill development.

The implications for career practice in the gig economy are profound. The absence of a hierarchical structure results in a lack of mentorship opportunities, feedback mechanisms, and the chance for upward mobility. Unlike traditional organizational psychology, where career growth is often a collective endeavor, gig work propels individuals into a sea of independence, where self-motivation and self-direction are the only compasses.

In the platform-based food-delivery sector, for instance, the metrics of success are often reduced to the number of deliveries made or the ratings received, which, while important, don’t provide a holistic view of career development or personal growth. The freelance work or on-demand work nature of the gig economy offers flexibility but at the expense of a structured career development pathway.

As gig economy companies burgeon, the narrative needs to shift towards creating meaningful frameworks that facilitate continuous learning, skill development, and career growth. The digital platform that underpins much of gig work should evolve to encompass features that foster a sense of community, continuous feedback, and avenues for skill enhancement and career progression.

The global gig economy is here to stay, and as it continues to morph, the onus is on policymakers, gig economy companies, and the gig workers themselves to create a conducive environment for career growth and personal development, ensuring the gig workforce doesn’t get lost in the vast expanse of the gig economy wilderness.

The Skill Development Dilemma

In the labyrinth of gig work, skill development often takes a backseat. Unlike the structured learning and development programs offered in a traditional work setting, gig workers are mostly left to their own devices when it comes to honing their skills. The gig economy, while providing a plethora of opportunities to work, doesn’t inherently provide a framework for skill development or career progression. The onus falls squarely on the shoulders of the gig worker to seek out learning opportunities.

The lack of organizational infrastructure in gig work translates to a lack of access to mentors, training programs, and other resources that foster skill development. The interaction with a supervisor or a mentor, which is a cornerstone of skill development in traditional employment relationships, is conspicuously absent in the gig economy.

This scenario is particularly palpable in the platform-based food-delivery sector where the job is often transactional and doesn’t inherently provide avenues for skill enhancement. The implications for career practice are profound as this not only stunts the career growth of gig workers but also leaves them ill-prepared for future changes in the labour market.

Navigating the Uncharted Waters of Gig Work Isolation

Venturing into the gig economy requires a blend of courage, self-motivation, and a dash of entrepreneurial spirit. The waters are uncharted, and the compass often self-made. It’s a realm where the traditional rules of work and career development scarcely apply.

Building Your Own Network to Replace Traditional Organizational Structures

One of the silver linings in the cloud of gig work is the potential to build your own network. In the absence of a traditional organizational setup, gig workers have the liberty, and indeed the necessity, to create their own support systems. Engaging in gig work in 2022 requires a proactive approach to networking, seeking out mentors, and creating one’s own opportunities for skill development.

Utilizing digital platforms, gig workers can connect with peers, join professional groups, and even find mentors who can guide them on their journey. Moreover, the online world offers a plethora of resources for skill development, be it through online courses, webinars, or forums.

The autonomy inherent in gig work extends to career development as well. While the path may not be laid out clearly, the potential for creating a personalized career trajectory is immense. Gig workers have the opportunity to carve out their own niche, build a personal brand, and in the process, redefine what career growth looks like in the modern economy.

The flexibility of gig work also provides a unique opportunity to diversify skills by engaging in different types of gig work or even parallel careers. This fluidity, though demanding, offers a canvas for continuous learning and adaptation, which is quintessential in the ever-evolving world of work.

The narrative of career practice and research in the gig economy needs to evolve to encompass the unique challenges and opportunities it presents. As gig workers navigate the uncharted waters, armed with a self-made compass, the journey albeit solitary, holds the promise of discovery, learning, and perhaps, a redefinition of what career growth entails in the digital age.

Investing in Continuous Learning

The gig economy, with its inherent flexibility and autonomy, beckons gig workers to adopt a mindset of continuous learning. Unlike the well-trodden paths of traditional employment, where career development often follows a predefined trajectory, gig work requires a proactive, self-driven approach to skill enhancement and learning.

The absence of a structured organizational setup means that gig workers need to create their own roadmap for learning and career growth. The digital platform that underpins much of the gig economy also offers a plethora of resources for continuous learning. From online courses to webinars, forums to virtual mentorship programs, the avenues for learning and skill development are vast and varied.

The implications for career practice in the gig economy are profound. Investing in continuous learning is not just a pathway to personal and professional growth; it's an imperative for survival and success in the gig economy. Engaging in gig work in 2022 and beyond requires gig workers to embrace a lifelong learning ethos, continually updating their skills to stay relevant in the fast-evolving labour market.

The precarious nature of gig work further underscores the importance of continuous learning. As the gig economy continues to burgeon, the competition too steepens, making it imperative for gig workers to continually upskill to stay ahead in the game.

Moreover, engaging in different types of gig work can also provide a rich learning experience. The gig economy, with its vast spectrum of opportunities, allows gig workers to dabble in different projects, each with its own set of challenges and learning curves. This experiential learning, coupled with formal skill development initiatives, can pave the way for a robust and resilient career in the gig economy.

Embracing a Work Ecosystem that is Integrative with Your Schedule

In the expansive realm of the gig economy, having a sturdy network and a supportive community can significantly bridge the gap caused by social isolation and lack of traditional career ladders. One such avenue is through joining a company that values community and provides a platform for continuous learning and networking.

Companies with innovative digital solutions are paving the way in this regard. Imagine a digital wallet that acts as a gateway to a thriving community of like-minded individuals and a plethora of opportunities for gig workers to grow and flourish. Through such platforms, gig workers can access a range of benefits, including discounts, rewards, and the ability to manage their earnings efficiently.

Moreover, some of these companies extend an invitation to gig workers and other interested individuals to partake in their regular online webinars. These webinars are designed to provide a deeper understanding of the company, its vision, and how one can leverage the platform to their advantage. The sessions offer insights directly from the company's leaders, thus providing a chance to learn from seasoned professionals.

Here's what you can look forward to in these online sessions:

An overview of the company's ethos and how they align with the aspirations of gig workers seeking more than just a gig, but a community and a path towards continuous learning and growth.
Discussions on how digital solutions can be a game-changer in managing one's earnings and accessing a range of benefits that go beyond the conventional gig work platforms.
Networking opportunities with other community members, which is pivotal in not only combating social isolation but also in opening doors to mentorship and collaborative projects.

The prospect of joining a company with a community-centric approach can be a breath of fresh air in the often solitary world of gig work. It's not just about the work you do, but the people you do it with and the environment that supports you along the way.

Ready to dive in? You're invited to join one of the upcoming online sessions to learn more about this exciting opportunity. It could be the stepping stone towards redefining your gig work journey and embracing a community that values collaboration, learning, and growth.

Stepping into a Community-Driven Work Landscape

The gig economy has been a double-edged sword for many. While it offers the allure of flexible work schedules and the freedom to choose the kind of work one engages in, it often comes at the cost of social interaction, community belonging, and a structured path for career advancement. But what if there's a middle ground? A space where gig workers can enjoy the autonomy and flexibility they desire while being part of a supportive community that fosters personal and professional growth.

A Paradigm Shift in Organizational Psychology

ShopAllThat.com presents a paradigm shift in how gig workers can view and engage in gig work. By leveraging the Virtual Interactive Financial Transactions (VIFT) wallet, gig workers not only get to manage their earnings efficiently but also become part of a community that values collaboration, learning, and mutual growth ¹ ² ³ .

The UnFranchise Community

At the heart of this paradigm shift is the UnFranchise community—a network of like-minded individuals who are navigating the gig economy waters together. The community, supported by the technological backbone of the VIFT wallet and the platform provided by ShopAllThat.com , empowers gig workers to break free from the shackles of social isolation often associated with gig work.

Thriving Together

The regular Zoom webinars hosted by ShopAllThat.com provides a platform for gig workers to learn, interact, and grow together. These sessions offer a wealth of knowledge from seasoned professionals and a space to network with other UnFranchise Owners and prospects ⁴ ⁵ ⁶ .

Networking Opportunities: The chance to interact with and learn from others in similar or complementary lines of work is invaluable. It opens up pathways for collaboration, mentorship, and even new work opportunities.
Learning from the Experts: The insights shared by company leaders during these Zoom sessions can provide gig workers with a fresh perspective on how to navigate the gig economy while prioritizing personal well-being and professional growth.
Community Support: Being part of a community that shares similar values and aspirations can be a huge morale booster. It provides a sense of belonging and a support system that can help gig workers navigate the challenges and uncertainties that come with gig work.

Are You Ready to Take the Leap?

The invitation to explore this community-centric work landscape is open. By taking part in one of the upcoming Zoom sessions , you could be taking the first step towards a more balanced, fulfilling, and community-driven gig work experience. It's about exploring new horizons where the gig economy intersects with community, learning, and mutual growth.

Conclusion

The gig economy, hailed for its flexibility and the myriad opportunities it presents, also brings forth a set of unique challenges when it comes to social isolation, career development, and skill enhancement. The road less traveled of gig work demands a proactive approach, a thirst for continuous learning, and the creation of personal networks for support and growth.

While the lack of a structured organizational setup presents hurdles in the path of career growth and skill development, it also offers a canvas for gig workers to create their own career narrative. The autonomy, though double-edged, provides a unique opportunity for gig workers to carve out a niche, build a personal brand, and redefine career success on their terms.

As the global gig economy continues to evolve, the narrative around career practice and research too needs to shift. The onus is on the stakeholders, including policymakers, gig economy platforms, and the gig workers themselves, to create an ecosystem that not only fosters financial sustenance but also facilitates personal growth, skill development, and a sense of community.

The journey of a gig worker in the modern economy is akin to navigating uncharted waters. It requires a sturdy boat of continuous learning, a compass of self-motivation, and a map of personal networks to navigate through the waves of uncertainty, towards the shores of success and fulfillment in the gig economy.

Double-Edged Sword of Gig Work: Navigating Work-Life Balance

Mon, 02 Oct 2023 18:44:15 GMT

The Promise of Flexible Work

The allure of the gig economy often lies in its promise of flexibility. You get to decide when you want to work, where you want to work from, and how much you want to work. It's a tempting offer, especially in a world where the traditional 9 to 5 setup can feel like a tight leash. Gig work offers a glimpse into a world where you can tailor your work schedule around your life, not the other way around. However, as many have found, this freedom can sometimes come at a cost. The unpredictable nature of gig work can often translate into long working hours or working during weekends and holidays to meet financial goals. This shift towards a flexible work culture beckons a closer look at how gig workers can achieve a work-life balance, ensuring they don’t burn the candle at both ends.

The gig economy springs from a simple yet profound premise: work when you want, how you want. This type of work setup has become particularly appealing to individuals who crave a break from the monotonous 40 hours a week routine that dominates the traditional workspace. The idea of waking up and choosing whether or not to work on a given day is liberating. This flexible working hours model seemingly offers a better work-life balance, allowing for more personal time, family time, and generally, a break from the rigid work schedule that characterizes the conventional full-time job.

However, the beauty of this promise lies in its potential to provide a work-life balance that many yearn for. Imagine being able to attend your child's midday school play without having to negotiate time off work or being able to take a spontaneous road trip on a weekday just because you feel like it. The appeal is undeniable, and for a moment, the gig economy seems like the answer to the age-old quest for a balanced life.

Yet, with every promise, there's a flip side. The flexibility in gig work can sometimes morph into a necessity for availability. When the work is there, the pressure to take it on can be high, especially when the bills start piling up. It’s not always rainbows and butterflies, especially when the unpredictable nature of gig work means a fluctuating income.

Moreover, the allure of more earnings can sometimes blur the line between work and personal time. The "work more, earn more" mantra can slowly creep in, leading to a scenario where one finds themselves working long hours to make ends meet or to save up for a rainy day.

But does it have to be this way? Is there a middle ground where gig workers can enjoy the flexibility without spiraling into a work vortex? As we delve deeper into the workings of the gig economy, it’s time to look at the real impact of flexible work schedules on the work-life balance and how to navigate the tightrope between flexibility, productivity, and personal well-being.

In the following sections, we will explore the reality behind the long working hours in gig work, the impact on personal life, and strategies to maintain a balanced lifestyle amidst the demands of a flexible work schedule. Through real stories, expert insights, and a closer look at the working conditions of gig work, this article aims to provide a clearer picture of what it truly means to have a flexible work schedule in the gig economy.

The Reality of Long Working Hours

The lure of flexible work often hides the reality of the number of hours one might need to put in to meet financial goals. It's not uncommon for gig workers to find themselves working long hours, sometimes even more than a traditional full-time job. The unpredictability of gig work means that some days might be bustling with opportunities, while others are starkly quiet. This inconsistency can lead to an inclination to work more hours when the work is plentiful, to compensate for the quieter days.

In a study, it was found that gig workers tend to work 40 hours a week on average, with some even pushing beyond the traditional 40 to 60 hours a week. The mantra often becomes 'work more to earn more,' especially in busy seasons or during high demand times. The result? The boundaries between work and personal time can become blurred, leading to a scenario where you’re still working at the end of what should have been a relaxing day at home.

Moreover, the idea of working less may seem feasible theoretically, but in practice, the financial necessities often dictate the working hours. And in a bid to maximize earnings, the ‘flexible working hours’ could translate to ‘working all available hours.’ The pressure to keep working to maintain a steady income can overshadow the initial allure of a flexible work schedule.

The Impact on Personal Life

The ripple effects of long working hours seep into personal lives, affecting relationships, mental health, and overall quality of life. The original desire for a work-life balance morphs into a constant juggle between work commitments and personal obligations.

Let’s consider family time, a core aspect of personal life. The ability to spend time with family or attend important family events becomes a challenge when engulfed in endless work tasks. Moreover, the strain of working long hours can spill over into personal relationships, causing tension or misunderstanding. The same goes for social interactions; being tied to work might mean missing out on social events or simply not having enough time to nurture friendships.

Moreover, the psychological toll can't be underestimated. The stress of managing an unpredictable work schedule, coupled with the pressure to work more hours to meet financial goals, can lead to burnout. The idea of working for someone else, with a set number of hours and a predictable paycheck, might start to seem appealing again.

Additionally, the lack of a clear demarcation between work hours and personal time can hinder relaxation and rejuvenation. The opportunity to work at any time can turn into a compulsion to work all the time, especially when working from home. The home, a place of rest, slowly morphs into a workspace, with little to no separation between work and personal life.

The impact extends to health and wellness too. The hours spent working might replace the time spent on physical activities or attending to health needs. Furthermore, the lack of vacation time or time off work, inherent in many gig work setups, can exacerbate stress and lead to a cycle of continuous work with little to no rest.

In the subsequent sections, we'll explore strategies to circumvent these challenges, drawing a clear line between work and personal time, and ensuring that the promise of flexibility doesn’t become a pathway to work-life imbalance. Through real-life stories and practical tips, we'll delve into how to maintain a sense of balance and well-being in the gig economy.

Strategies for a Balanced Gig Work Life

Achieving a balanced gig work life may seem like a tall order, but it's not unattainable. With the right strategies, it's possible to enjoy the benefits of flexible work while maintaining a healthy work-life balance. Here are some practical steps:

Set Clear Boundaries:

Establish a clear work schedule, even if it's flexible. Having set working hours can help separate work time from personal time. It also provides a sense of routine and structure amidst the fluidity of gig work.

Utilize Productivity Tools:

Employ tools and apps designed to enhance productivity and manage time effectively. Tools like time trackers, project management apps, and automated invoicing can save a lot of time and reduce the administrative burden.

Prioritize Tasks:

Prioritize your tasks based on urgency and importance. This way, you can ensure that crucial tasks are completed within your working hours, leaving personal time untouched.

Learn to Say No:

It's tempting to take on every available gig, especially when the work is flowing in. However, learning to say no and choosing gigs that align with your schedule and financial goals is crucial for maintaining a balanced work-life.

Outsource Administrative Tasks:

Consider outsourcing administrative tasks or employing virtual assistants to handle aspects like invoicing, marketing, or customer service. This can free up more time for both work and personal pursuits.

Maintain a Dedicated Workspace:

If you work from home, having a dedicated workspace can help create a mental and physical boundary between work and personal life. This can also enhance productivity and reduce distractions.

Take Time Off:

Schedule time off work to rest and rejuvenate. It's essential to have downtime to prevent burnout and maintain a fresh perspective in your work.

Connect with a Supportive Community:

Join communities of gig workers where you can share experiences, gain insights, and find support in navigating the unique challenges of gig work.

By implementing these strategies, the aspiration for a balanced gig work life can transition from a mere wish to a lived reality.

Stories about Work-Life Balance from the Gig Frontlines

The theory and strategies are well and good, but nothing beats hearing from those in the trenches. Here are some real-life experiences from gig workers who have navigated the fine line between flexibility and a balanced life.

The Part-Time Gig Worker:

Meet Sarah, who chose to work part-time in the gig economy to spend more time with her kids. She narrates how setting clear working hours and sticking to them has helped maintain a boundary between work and family time.

The Full-Time Freelancer:

John, a full-time freelancer, shares his journey of finding a rhythm that allows him to meet his financial goals without compromising on personal time. He emphasizes the importance of scheduling time off work and utilizing productivity tools to manage his workload efficiently.

The Weekend Warrior:

Emily dives into her experience of working primarily over the weekends to keep her weekdays free for other pursuits. She discusses the importance of having a rigid work schedule, even in a flexible work setup, to ensure she doesn’t end up working long hours unintentionally.

The Digital Nomad:

Michael talks about the freedom of working from anywhere and how it has enriched his life. However, he also touches on the challenges of managing work while on the road all the time and how setting clear work boundaries has been a game-changer.

The Side Hustler:

Jake shares his experience of juggling a full-time job with gig work. He talks about how dedicating specific hours of work for his side hustle has helped maintain a semblance of work-life balance.

These stories from the gig frontlines provide a glimpse into the practical aspects of striving for a work-life balance in the gig economy. They highlight the importance of setting boundaries, managing time effectively, and having a support system to navigate the flexible yet demanding nature of gig work successfully.

Tools and Resources to Help You Work When you Want to Work

In the digital age, a plethora of tools and resources are available to assist gig workers in managing their work and achieving a semblance of work-life balance. Here are some noteworthy mentions:

Time Management Apps:

Applications like Toggl or RescueTime can help keep track of the hours spent working on projects. They provide insights into your productivity patterns and help manage your time efficiently.

Project Management Tools:

Tools such as Trello or Asana are excellent for organizing your tasks and projects. They help keep everything in one place, making it easier to manage your workload and deadlines.

Financial Management Apps:

Managing finances is crucial for gig workers. Apps like QuickBooks or FreshBooks can help track earnings, expenses, and simplify the invoicing process.

Online Communities:

Platforms like Reddit or specialized forums provide a space for gig workers to connect, share experiences, and offer support. Engaging with a community facing similar challenges can provide valuable insights and solutions.

Online Courses:

Numerous online platforms offer courses on time management, productivity, and other essential skills for gig workers. Investing in learning can significantly enhance your efficiency and work-life balance.

Mental Health Resources:

Maintaining mental health is vital. Resources like Headspace or online counseling services can be beneficial for managing the stress that comes with gig work.

Virtual Assistants:

Services like Upwork or Fiverr provide access to virtual assistants who can handle administrative tasks, freeing up more time for you to focus on core work tasks or enjoy outside of work.

Legal and Insurance Resources:

Platforms like LegalZoom or insurance providers specializing in gig workers can be essential resources to ensure you're protected while working.

By leveraging these tools and resources, gig workers can better manage their workload, finances, and overall well-being, moving closer to the elusive work-life balance.

The journey through the gig economy is filled with both promise and pitfalls. The allure of a flexible working time, being your own boss, and escaping the traditional 40-hour work week is undeniably appealing. However, the reality of the demands and unpredictability inherent in gig work can often lead to a blur between work and personal life.

Through real-life stories and practical strategies, we've explored how to navigate the fine line between enjoying the flexibility of gig work while maintaining a balanced life. The tools and resources highlighted offer a pathway to better manage the demands of gig work, ensuring that the freedom doesn’t come at the cost of personal well-being.

As the gig economy continues to evolve, the conversation around achieving a work-life balance within this modern work paradigm will continue to be pertinent. It's a dialogue that necessitates a collective effort from gig workers, platform providers, and policymakers alike. But with the right approaches and resources, achieving a satisfactory work-life balance in the gig economy is within reach.

Remember, it’s about working smarter, not harder, and ensuring that the gig work lifestyle serves you, not the other way around.

Unveiling the YOU Economy: Seize Control, Earn on Your Terms

In the dynamic realm of gig work, gaining mastery over who you collaborate with and how you harness technology to your benefit is vital. It's about sculpting a work ambiance that harmonizes with your core values and ambitions. If the idea of venturing onto a path that furnishes more control and a balanced fusion of technology and personal rapport intrigues you, this is an opportunity you'll want to seize.

Realize the Potential of the YOU Economy

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Gig Work Customer Encounters: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

Fri, 29 Sep 2023 00:11:45 GMT

The Expanding Horizon of Gig Workers that Deliver Food

The gig economy has etched a significant mark in the labour market, especially when it comes to food delivery. As more people find comfort in having meals delivered to their doorsteps, platforms like Uber Eats and DoorDash have risen to meet this demand. However, behind every order that arrives at your door, there's a delivery driver who's navigated through a spectrum of customer encounters to deliver food. This article delves into the diverse experiences of delivery drivers, illuminating the good, the bad, and sometimes, the ugly side of working in the food delivery sector in 2022.

As the world embraced the new norm of working from home, the demand for food delivery soared. Platforms like DoorDash and Uber Eats became household names, embodying the modern convenience of getting a hot meal delivered right to your door with just a few taps on a driver app. The on-demand food service didn't just feed the hungry souls but also opened up a realm of flexible work opportunities for many. Becoming a delivery driver required little more than a vehicle, a smartphone, and the readiness to navigate the city streets. As easy as the signup process was, the reality of the job presented a more complex picture.

The Gig Economy: A Double-Edged Sword?

The gig economy is often lauded for its flexibility. As an independent contractor, the liberty to choose when and where to work is an attractive proposition. However, this freedom comes with a side of precarity. Unlike traditional employment, gig work doesn't offer the security of guaranteed pay or the cushion of employment benefits. This precarious working nature often sees delivery drivers hustling to make ends meet, sometimes working long hours and grappling with the unpredictability that comes with the territory.

The Metric of Customer Interaction

At the heart of every food delivery gig is the interaction between delivery drivers and customers. These interactions can range from a simple exchange of pleasantries to more complex situations that test the patience and problem-solving skills of the driver. Every order is a new narrative, with its unique set of challenges and rewards. As one delivery driver shared on Reddit, a simple misunderstanding with a toddler led to an amusing yet bizarre encounter ¹ .

The Human Aspect of Food Delivery

In the digital labour landscape, where transactions are often reduced to a click or a swipe, the human interaction between delivery drivers and customers is a refreshing yet complex dynamic. It's where the digital meets the real, often with unpredictable outcomes. Our exploration into the stories of delivery drivers unveils a tapestry of experiences, some heartwarming, others bewildering, and a few that are downright harrowing.

As we venture into the narratives of delivery drivers, we uncover the essence of what it means to work in the food delivery sector of the gig economy. It's a journey marked by human connection, adaptability, and a dash of humor even in the face of adversities. Through the lens of these real-life stories, we’ll explore the evolving labour process, the precarious nature of gig work, and the indelible spirit of the delivery drivers who keep the wheels (and meals) rolling, one order at a time.

The Good: When Delivery Drivers Bring a Smile

The realm of food delivery within the gig economy is not all about dodging metaphorical bullets. There are moments of sunshine, instances that highlight the brighter side of this bustling sector, making every order a journey worth undertaking.

A Sigh of Relief Amidst the Hustle

In the hustle of meeting delivery timelines and maintaining high acceptance rates, there are moments that make the journey worthwhile for delivery drivers. These moments often come wrapped in simple gestures of kindness and understanding from the customers they serve daily.

The Warm Exchange

A warm smile, a friendly chat, or even a polite 'thank you' can significantly uplift a delivery driver's spirit. Such moments of courteous exchanges are more than just a fleeting gesture; they are a reflection of respect and appreciation that adds a human touch to the digital labour involved in food delivery.

Every 'Thank You' Counts

Every 'thank you' counts, every friendly exchange is remembered and every understanding nod in case of delays is appreciated. These are the small yet impactful gestures that bring a sense of fulfillment amidst the precarious nature of gig work.

The Bad: Navigating the Unpredictable for Delivery Drivers

The road to delivering an order to the customer is often paved with uncertainties. Despite the flexibility and independence that comes with being a delivery driver, the challenges faced are many and varied.

The Tale of Misdirected Deliveries

A common narrative among delivery drivers is the tale of misdirected deliveries. One driver shared their ordeal of delivering food to the wrong address due to a confusing condo complex layout, a scenario that led to a less than stellar rating but a learning experience nonetheless ¹ .

The Rating Dilemma

The rating system, a crucial metric in the gig economy, can often be a source of stress for delivery drivers. A small misstep, like delivering food to a wrong address, can lead to a drop in ratings, impacting their standing on platforms like DoorDash or Uber Eats.

Learning from the Missteps

Each misdirected delivery, each wrong turn, is a stepping stone towards becoming more adept at navigating the intricacies of food delivery. It’s about learning, adapting, and evolving with every order.

The Ugly: When Gig Economy Deliveries Turn Disastrous

Beyond the routine challenges lie instances that can only be described as downright disastrous. These are the situations that test the mettle of delivery drivers, often leaving behind tales of shock, awe, and sometimes, humor.

The Bite That Left a Mark

On a seemingly regular delivery run, one driver encountered an unexpected foe - a dog that decided to leave a mark, quite literally. The bite, though not severe, was a stark reminder of the unpredictable nature of the job. Despite the shock and pain, the driver showcased a spirit of resilience, carrying on with the rest of the deliveries for the day ¹ .

The Misadventures of Wrong Addresses

The tale doesn’t end with just one misdirected delivery. Our driver, on another occasion, found themselves delivering food to the wrong house in a confusing condo complex yet again. It’s a narrative that underscores the daily challenges faced by delivery drivers, each day bringing with it a new set of unforeseen circumstances ¹ .

The Resilience Amidst Chaos

Through the tales of bites and wrong deliveries, what shines through is the indomitable spirit of delivery drivers. Their resilience amidst the chaos, their ability to smile through the adversities, and their unwavering commitment to ensuring that your order reaches you, come what may, is a testament to the human spirit navigating the turbulent waters of the gig economy.

The good, the bad, and the ugly - every facet of food delivery comes with its own set of narratives. Each story is a peek into the life of delivery drivers who are the backbone of this burgeoning sector of the gig economy, making every order a tale worth telling. Through their eyes, we explore the evolving dynamics of labour and employment in the digital age, one delivery at a time.

The Grey Area: Gig Economy Scams and Unscrupulous Practices

The food delivery landscape isn’t just black and white. There’s a grey area that often goes unnoticed but is a reality that delivery drivers have to face. Unscrupulous practices and scams add a layer of complexity to the already precarious nature of gig work.

The Reality of Customer Scams

In the digital realm of order and delivery, dishonest practices unfortunately find a way to creep in. As one delivery driver shared, a seemingly regular delivery turned into a narrative of deceit when a customer claimed the food was delivered to the wrong address, an assertion that was far from the truth ¹ .

The Unseen Impact

Such instances of customer scams not only pose a challenge but also underscore the vulnerability that comes with the territory. It’s a stark reminder of the precarious work conditions that delivery drivers often find themselves in.

Seeking Support and Awareness

Awareness and support from platforms can play a significant role in mitigating such situations. Ensuring a channel of communication and support can help delivery drivers navigate through the grey areas that come with the job.

Rising Above: How Delivery Drivers Keep Rolling

Despite the adversities, the heart of the food delivery sector beats strong, thanks to the resilient spirit of the gig workers. Their stories are a testament to the indomitable spirit that keeps them rolling, order after order.

The Resilience in Every Delivery

Every day on the road comes with its own set of challenges, yet delivery drivers keep going, showcasing a level of resilience that’s inspiring. The narrative of the driver who was bitten by a dog yet chose to continue with his deliveries is a shining example of the spirit that drives the gig economy ¹ .

Learning, Adapting, and Evolving

The essence of rising above lies in the ability to learn from experiences, adapt to the changing dynamics, and evolve with every order. Our delivery driver who faced the ordeal of wrong deliveries, not once but twice, reflects the ethos of learning and improving with each misstep ¹ .

The Unwavering Commitment

The unwavering commitment to delivering food, come rain or shine, is what keeps the wheels (and meals) rolling. It’s a narrative that goes beyond just fulfilling orders; it’s about the human spirit that strives to provide a service despite the odds.

Through the lens of these real-life stories, the essence of what it means to be a part of the food delivery ecosystem in the gig economy is clear. It’s about navigating through the good, the bad, the ugly, and the grey, with a spirit that’s ready to rise above, one delivery at a time. The evolving landscape of labour and employment in the digital age is well-reflected in the day-to-day narratives of these unsung heroes of the food delivery sector.

A Look Ahead: The Future of Food Delivery in the Gig Economy

The tapestry of stories from the frontline of food delivery unveils the intricate weave of human interactions, technological advancements, and evolving labour market dynamics. As we look ahead, the horizon seems to hold a blend of promise and challenges.

Embracing the New Norm

The narrative of food delivery has gained a new dimension in the wake of the global pandemic. The shift towards working from home and the subsequent surge in on-demand food service has spotlighted the significant role of delivery drivers. It's a narrative that’s bound to evolve with changing social and economic landscapes.

The Tech-Driven Evolution

With a rise in technological innovations, platforms like Uber and Lyft are poised to redefine the way food is delivered. Advancements in driver app interfaces, real-time tracking, and performance management systems aim to streamline the process, making it easier for drivers to undertake their daily tasks.

Towards a More Secure Employment Model

The conversation around better employment conditions and a more secure employment model for gig workers is gaining momentum. Trade unions and regulatory frameworks are stepping into the arena, aiming to reduce the precarity associated with gig work.

Conclusion: The Unfolding Narrative

The narrative of food delivery in the gig economy is a blend of human endeavor, technological innovation, and the relentless spirit of gig workers. Through the lens of their daily experiences, we explore the broader narrative of labour and employment in the digital age.

The Human Face of Digital Labour

Behind every tap on your smartphone to place an order, there’s a delivery driver ready to navigate through the labyrinth of urban landscapes to deliver food to your doorstep. Their stories are more than just tales of delivery; they are a reflection of the evolving labour process in the modern-day gig economy.

Celebrating the Resilient Spirit

As we delve into the stories of unexpected encounters, misdirected deliveries, and the sheer resilience of gig workers, we celebrate the human spirit that keeps the food delivery ecosystem vibrant and functioning.

Towards a Dialogue

The unfolding narrative invites a dialogue, a discussion on the evolving dynamics of gig work, and a reflection on the social and economic aspects that underpin the sector. It's an invitation to appreciate the unsung heroes of the gig economy who ensure that come rain or shine, your order reaches you, one delivery at a time.

Through the narratives shared by delivery drivers, we get a glimpse into the lives of those who are the backbone of the on-demand food delivery service. Their stories are a testimony to the ever-evolving nature of work, the challenges faced, and the resilience showcased amidst the precarious reality of gig work. As we look ahead, the stories from the road inspire a vision of a more supportive and resilient gig economy, one where the human spirit continues to thrive amidst the digital whirlwind.

Discovering the YOU Economy: Take Control, Earn on Your Terms

In the ever-evolving gig economy, having control over who you work with and how you use technology to your advantage is crucial. It's about crafting a work environment that resonates with your values and aspirations. If you're keen on exploring a pathway that offers more control and a harmonious blend of technology and personal interaction, here’s an opportunity you wouldn’t want to miss.

Unlock the Potential of the YOU Economy

Discover how a 31-year-old company has been at the forefront of creating the YOU Economy, an ecosystem that empowers individuals to earn on their terms. It’s about building a narrative that goes beyond the conventional gig economy, one that places you at the helm.

A Zoom Invite: Step Into a World of Opportunities

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Ready to Explore?

Your journey towards a more controlled and rewarding work environment begins here. The stories of many gig workers have highlighted the need for a platform that offers more control over customer interactions and leverages technology to foster a positive work environment. Now, it's your turn to explore this avenue, embrace the YOU Economy, and embark on a journey towards a fulfilling and self-directed work life.

Take the leap, join the Zoom session , and step into a world where you drive your success, one informed decision at a time. The narrative of the YOU Economy awaits, are you ready to be a part of it?

Life After Deactivation: What a Gig Worker Should Do Next

trista@iwokeupawesome.com (Trista Polo) — Mon, 25 Sep 2023 15:38:21 GMT

Delivery Drivers Deactivation On the Rise

So, you’ve been clicking through your DoorDash or Uber app, and bam! Your account was deactivated. �� The sinking feeling in your stomach begins to grow because, let’s be real, deactivation can happen to anyone in the gig economy these days. Whether you’re a full-time gig worker or just picking up a side hustle, losing access to one of these platforms feels like a rug-pull. But don’t panic; we’ve got you covered. This article will guide you through your options for replacing that lost income and how to bounce back like the rockstar you are!

The Reality of Driver Account Deactivation in 2023

Deactivation isn't just a buzzword that adds fears among gig workers; it's a reality that many face. Platforms like Uber, Doordash, Grubhub, and even Instacart have policies that allow them to cut ties with you for a variety of reasons. Maybe your customer ratings slipped, perhaps you violated terms of service you didn't even realize existed, or it could be something more severe, like attacks on delivery drivers that triggered a background check. It's not just about one gig company or another; it's a systemic part of this new economy. The deactivation policy might differ from one platform to another, but the end result is usually the same: you can't complete a delivery, offer a ride, or even log into your driver account.

Now, if you've been deactivated from the platform, the immediate impulse might be to scramble and look for ways to reactivate your account. While some platforms do offer an appeals process, it's not guaranteed that you'll be back in the driver's seat anytime soon. Meanwhile, those bills aren't going to pay themselves, right?

Exploring Your Options When You Get Deactivated ��

If you find yourself staring at a screen saying your account has been deactivated, the panic and frustration can be overwhelming. But take a deep breath; you've got options. Let's dive into the steps you can take when facing a dreaded deactivation from companies such as Doordash, Uber, or Grubhub.

1. Appeal the Deactivation ��

The first line of defense is to appeal the deactivation. While the success rate can be hit or miss, it's worth a shot. Prepare a compelling case with all your supporting documentation to make your appeal as strong as possible. Think of this as your gig court trial; bring your A-game!

2. Ring Up Support ��

It might sound cliché, but sometimes a deactivation is just a misunderstanding or a system glitch. Give customer support a call. While far from a surefire win, it's akin to scratching off a lottery ticket—you might get lucky.

3. Legal Eagles ��️

Taking legal action is your nuclear option. It's time-consuming, costly, and by no means guarantees that you'll get reactivated. However, for some, it's been a way back onto the platform. Use this option as your last resort.

4. Diversifying with Another Platform ��

If Uber gives you the boot, maybe Lyft will welcome you with open arms, or vice versa. This doesn't resolve the original issue, but hey, the independent contractor options are vast. Expanding your horizons can keep that income flowing in.

5. Consult the Hive Mind ��

Seeking community support through online forums or social media groups can sometimes yield unexpected solutions. While these methods offer anecdotal success at best, another driver's experience might shine a light on an approach you hadn't considered.

6. Union or Guild Resources ��

If you're part of a driver's union or guild, now is the time to explore their resources. They may offer advice, strategies, or even legal counsel aimed at getting you back in the driver's seat.

7. Ratings Rehab ��

If you were deactivated due to poor ratings or reviews, some platforms may offer you the opportunity to improve your stats and get back into their good graces. It's a long game but could be worth it.

8. Re-Onboard ��

In rare cases, platforms may allow you to go through their onboarding process again after some time has passed. This is usually reserved for less serious infractions. I have also seen some people re-register on the app with a new user name and email. This could get tricky if they ask for your license info, but it seems to work for some.

9. Peer-to-Peer Counseling ��️

Sometimes the best wisdom comes from those who've walked a mile in your shoes. Consult other drivers who have faced deactivation; they might offer some golden nuggets of advice. There are tons of people discussing this and other issues on Reddit.

10. Try Other Gigs ��

While you're waiting to hear back on your reactivation status, keep the wheels turning by considering other gig opportunities.

There are More Food Delivery Companies out There

As the saying goes, don't put all your eggs in one basket—or, in our case, don't rely solely on one gig app. When you get deactivated, it's a wake-up call to diversify your income streams. You've got options, my friend! Many delivery companies, like Uber Eats, Postmates, and Grubhub, operate within the same space as Doordash. Being a delivery driver isn’t your only calling; consider transitioning to grocery delivery with Instacart or hopping into the world of rideshare with Lyft and Uber.

And speaking of rideshares, Uber and Lyft drivers face the same concerns about deactivation, but switching between the two could give you a cushion to fall back on. These platforms often have similar requirements, so if you qualify for one, chances are you're good for the other. Plus, hopping from one delivery service to another can often be as easy as downloading a new app and running through a quick onboarding process. So if your Doordash account or Grubhub account gets the boot, don't despair. There's a whole world of gig work out there waiting for you.

One Deactivation Doesn't Have to Take You Out of the Gig Economy

Look, just because one avenue has closed off doesn't mean your gig worker life is over. If you were delivering for Doordash, take that experience and apply it elsewhere. Worked for Grubhub? Awesome, your knowledge about food delivery apps and delivery driving can be a strong selling point for another platform like Uber Eats. And don’t forget: you can get your account reinstated through an appeal on some platforms, but it’s crucial to have a backup plan in the meantime.

Plus, you can always take your hard-earned experience and turn it into a consulting gig or even a blog. Consider sharing your knowledge to help newbies navigate the ins and outs of the gig economy. It’s an excellent way to diversify your income and your career goals, and maybe even give back to the community of gig workers rising up against challenges.

Some Additional Things to Consider

Your Financial Situation

If your gig work is your bread and butter, getting deactivated from platforms like Instacart or Uber can be devastating. If you don't have a financial cushion, the options for immediate replacement might be limited. Driver apps often serve as a stable income for many; hence the sudden loss might force you to reconsider your career choices or even your day-to-day lifestyle.

Your Career Goals

Whether it's moving up in the gig world or transitioning to a different career, your experiences in delivery or rideshare can be valuable. Maybe you're accumulating hours as an Uber driver for some bigger goal. If that's the case, a sudden deactivation can be a massive setback. But remember, setbacks can also be setups for comebacks.

Your Personal Preferences

We all have different needs and priorities. If you value stability and a steady paycheck, platforms like Uber and Lyft might not be the best long-term solution anyway. In that case, deactivation can be an opportunity to reassess what you really want and tailor your career path accordingly.

Think Outside the Side Gig

If it's time to look at new ways to create income that don't create Deactivation fears, there are options out there. One online platform can provide you something that is missing from all app based gigs and that's scalability...the opportunity to take control of your time and income. Join our upcoming Zoom session where we'll dive deeper into your options. It's information only, no pricy sales pitch at the end. Just another option to consider. Because remember, one closed app doesn't mean a closed future. ��

Q: What is gig work?

A: Gig work refers to a type of employment where individuals work on a project or task basis, typically through app-based platforms. Gig workers are often independent contractors and have the flexibility to choose when and where they work.

Q: What is the meaning of deactivation in the gig economy?

A: Deactivation in the gig economy refers to the temporary or permanent suspension of a gig worker's account or access to a gig platform. Gig workers can be deactivated due to various reasons, such as policy violations or customer complaints.

Q: How does deactivation affect gig workers?

A: Deactivation can have significant consequences for gig workers. It can result in the loss of income and affect their ability to continue working in the gig economy. Additionally, deactivation may impact their eligibility for certain benefits or protections offered by the gig platforms.

Q: What should a gig worker do after deactivation?

A: After deactivation, a gig worker should review the deactivation policy of the specific gig platform they were working with. They should contact the platform's support team to understand the reasons for deactivation and explore options for reactivation.

Q: How can a gig worker reactivate their account?

A: To reactivate their account, gig workers should follow the guidelines provided by the gig platform. This may involve submitting an appeal, providing additional information, or completing any required training or assessments.

Q: What are some common gig platforms for gig workers?

A: Some common gig platforms for gig workers include DoorDash, Grubhub, Uber, Instacart, Lyft, and Uber Eats.

Q: How can a gig worker prevent deactivation?

A: Gig workers can prevent deactivation by adhering to the policies and guidelines set by the gig platforms. This includes maintaining a high level of customer service, following safety protocols, and addressing any customer complaints or issues promptly.

Q: Do gig workers have any protections or benefits?

A: Gig workers are often considered independent contractors, which means they may not have the same legal protections and benefits as traditional employees. However, some gig platforms have started offering certain benefits, such as compensation or health insurance, to their gig workers.

Q: What are the risks associated with gig work?

A: Gig work can come with certain risks, including the risk of assaults or accidents while on the job. Additionally, gig workers may face financial risks due to the unpredictable nature of gig work and the lack of stability that comes with it.

Q: Are there any organizations advocating for gig workers' rights?

A: Yes, there are organizations such as Gig Workers Rising that advocate for better working conditions, fair pay, and improved rights for gig workers.

DoorDash Dilemma: Should DoorDash Drivers Cherry Pick Orders?

Sun, 24 Sep 2023 17:02:42 GMT

The Truth Behind Your AR vs Your Wallet

The World of DoorDash: Empowerment or Exploitation?

I've been hearing a consistent buzz from friends and Reddit threads since . The chatter? Whether DoorDash drivers should cherry-pick orders. It's a debate that's generating more heat than a jalapeño popper, leaving many to wonder: Are drivers in the gig economy truly independent contractors or just pawns in a much larger game? Ever since 2023, I've been seeing people talk non-stop about whether DoorDash drivers should choose only the good orders. It's a big argument that's getting hotter than a spicy jalapeño popper, making people question if gig economy drivers are really their own bosses or just playing a role in a bigger scheme.

What is Cherry Picking in DoorDash?

In the DoorDash landscape, cherry picking refers to the practice of selectively choosing orders based on the highest potential earnings. Essentially, a Door Dash driver evaluates each new order’s payout, tip, and distance before deciding to accept or decline it. Instead of automatically accepting every order that comes their way, cherry-pickers exercise their freedom as independent contractors to choose the most profitable dashes. This way, they aim to maximize their hourly pay while reducing time spent on low-paying orders.

So why did cherry-picking start in the first place? One reason could be the inconsistency in pay and tips that DoorDash drivers face. Given the fact that base pay and tips fluctuate, drivers started cherry-picking to secure better earnings. With the rising cost of gas prices in 2023, drivers have become even more selective, focusing on orders that make the most financial sense. In a gig economy where DoorDash driver pay can sometimes hover close to minimum wage, it's no surprise that cherry-picking has become a survival strategy.

Cherry-picking is pretty straightforward within the DoorDash app. When an order pops up, the app provides details such as the restaurant location, delivery distance, and the total payout, including tips. DoorDash drivers can either accept or decline based on these details. If you decline an order, your acceptance rate may take a hit, but the freedom to cherry-pick remains yours. Some food delivery workers skip the customers that don't tip. Others base it on their rate per mile.

However, it's worth mentioning that not all DoorDash drivers agree with the ethics of cherry-picking. Some argue that it could lead to a lower acceptance rate, thereby reducing the likelihood of becoming a Top Dasher. Others point out that constantly declining orders may decrease the number of dashes available to them, especially during busy times. Still, in an economy where each dasher wants to make at least a decent hourly wage, the temptation to cherry-pick is ever-present.

The Pros and Cons of Cherry-Picking

Pros:

Freedom to Choose

The gig economy is all about being your own boss. As a DoorDash driver, the freedom to cherry-pick means you get to choose which deliveries you want to accept or decline. Traditional 9-to-5 jobs don't offer this level of control. In 2023, the ability to curate your own DoorDash delivery experience is a game-changer.

Instead of accepting every order, you can focus on those that align with your goals. Ever gotten stuck in a bad order with long wait times at a restaurant? Cherry-picking enables you to avoid such scenarios and dash on your own terms.

Better Hourly Pay

Opting for higher-paying orders directly impacts your DoorDash driver pay, increasing your hourly earnings. When delivering food, especially as a DoorDash driver, maximizing your per delivery payout is crucial.

By cherry-picking orders that promise better tips and base pay, you put yourself in a prime position to make more in fewer hours. And let's be honest, who wouldn't want to get more bucks for their mileage?

Cut Down on Mileage

The life of a delivery driver isn't easy on your vehicle. When you cherry-pick orders that are closer in proximity, you directly cut down on mileage. Lower mileage not only means less wear and tear on your car but also savings on gas prices.

Cons:

Acceptance Rate Hits

While the freedom to choose your deliveries sounds ideal, it can take a toll on your DoorDash acceptance rate. For those aiming for the Top Dasher program, a low acceptance rate can be a stumbling block.

It's a trade-off: Do you aim for the perks of being a Top Dasher, or do you go for the immediate benefits of cherry-picking? Decisions, decisions in the world of gig economy work.

Potential for Fewer Dashes

If you're a dasher who prefers to decline more orders than you accept, beware. The DoorDash app's algorithm may prioritize drivers with higher acceptance rates, leaving you with fewer opportunities to dash.

This can lead to periods of low pay and just sitting around waiting for a good order to come in. So while cherry-picking might seem like a good strategy, it does come with the risk of fewer dashes.

Low Pay Despite Cherry-Picking

Cherry-picking doesn't always mean you'll strike gold. Low pay is still a reality many dashers face, even when being selective. Inconsistent tips and fluctuating base pay can sometimes leave you wondering if the cherry-picking strategy is really worth it.

One week you could be raking in the cash, and the next, you could be experiencing low acceptance rates and fewer dashes. The life of a DoorDash driver can vary from one week to another, making it a hustle that requires constant adaptation.

The Top Dasher Program: Is It Worth It?

Become a Top Dasher, and you're rewarded by DoorDash with more visibility and better orders. Sounds like a dream, right? But there's a catch—your acceptance rate has to stay above a certain threshold. Decline too many orders, and you're back to the dime-a-dozen pool of Dashers.

The Reality of DoorDash Driver Pay in 2023

In 2023, the pay landscape for DoorDash drivers is anything but stable. Given the varying factors like base pay, tips, and even bonuses from the Top Dasher program, calculating average hourly earnings can feel like chasing a moving target. While DoorDash promotes higher earning potentials, the reality for many is that low-paying orders, high gas prices, and long wait times at restaurants can seriously cut into earnings. The fluctuating nature of gig work means your income is hardly guaranteed, making the allure of cherry-picking more pronounced than ever.

Another layer to the financial uncertainty is the constant decline in acceptance rates when drivers choose to cherry-pick. With an emphasis on maintaining a specific acceptance rate to attain or keep Top Dasher status, drivers often find themselves at a crossroads. Do they prioritize their acceptance rates, or do they focus on the potential for better hourly pay through cherry-picking? It's a dilemma many face in the gig economy of 2023.

Last but not least, mileage can be a hidden drain on a DoorDash driver's pay. When you're dashing from one end of the town to the other for a meager payout, you're not just spending time but also money on fuel. With rising fuel costs, it becomes even more critical to be selective—another reason why many are drawn to cherry-picking as a strategy to maximize income while cutting down on unnecessary miles.

Some Additional Things to Consider

Your Financial Situation

If gig work like DoorDash is your bread and butter, cherry-picking might be a luxury you can't afford. Turning down too many orders could result in not making enough to cover your basic expenses, especially if DoorDash is your primary source of income. In such cases, accepting a majority of the orders that come your way could be essential for financial stability.

Your Career Goals

Are you using DoorDash as a stepping stone towards a bigger career goal? Maybe you're saving up for a course or trying to network within the restaurant industry. In that case, turning down gigs based solely on pay might not serve your long-term objectives. Accepting a wider range of orders can provide you with invaluable experience and contacts that could be beneficial down the line.

Your Personal Preferences

Ultimately, your personal preferences play a significant role in whether or not cherry-picking is right for you. If you value job security, benefits, and a steady income over the flexibility that comes with being an independent contractor, then cherry-picking might not align well with your career aspirations. It's crucial to balance the allure of higher-paying orders with what genuinely matters to you in your work-life scenario.

Your Choice, Your Livelihood

Ultimately, the decision to cherry-pick rests with you. But, make no mistake—this choice can affect your income, your ratings, and even your job security.

What About Other Services Like Uber Eats and Lyft?

Ever tried driving for Uber or Lyft? They've got their own pros and cons, but at least there’s some cash back on gas and other perks.

So, Should You Cherry-Pick Orders?

The conclusion is yours to make. As long as you're aware of the potential benefits and pitfalls, you can make an informed decision. And who knows, maybe DoorDash will take a cue from the drivers and make some changes.

In a world where being a DoorDash driver can be a financial rollercoaster, every tip helps—whether it's for your server or your DoorDash driver pay. Stay savvy out there, folks!

If you want to look at ways to maximize your gig economy income, join our free webinar to get everything you need to know about a unique and powerful option. No credit cards, no sales pitch—just pure, value-packed information. Trust us; you won’t want to miss this!

Is Your Gig Worker Income Leaking? 7 Costs to Budget For

Sat, 23 Sep 2023 19:21:46 GMT

Unlocking the Hidden Costs of the Gig Economy and Proven Solutions to Help Manage Them

Introduction

Whether you're cruising around delivering food or you’re a gig worker offering specialized services, gig work is becoming an essential part of the gig economy. People like David and Sarah took up gig jobs as their main source of income, only to find that it's not just about how much you work and earn; it's also about what's coming out of your pocket. So, let's get real about how to budget as a gig worker, covering the expenses every gig economy worker must consider to make ends meet.

What's Coming Out of Your Pocket?

Car Maintenance

If you're driving around for your gig work, expect your car to demand its share of your budget. Regular oil changes, brake inspections, and occasional tire replacements are business expenses that add up. Just ask Jake, who had to replace his car's transmission costing him more than he expected. Not fun. And remember, these aren't tax deductible unless you keep track of your expenses meticulously for the IRS.

Gas

The price at the pump can seriously impact a gig worker's budget. If you’re a gig worker, fuel costs can be a significant line of work expense. Jenny noticed a sizable chunk of her gig economy income was fueling her car, quite literally. It’s a good idea to make a monthly budget for this unavoidable cost.

Insurance

Most standard insurances won't cover you if you have an accident while doing gig work. So, you may need to hire specialized insurance. Plus, don't forget that taxes aren't withheld in self-employment. You're responsible for paying both state and federal income tax, which brings us to the next point.

In-app Costs

Some gig platforms require a business license or special uniforms, adding to your expenses as well. And, if you want to be a preferred Dasher, DoorDash sells catering bags that give you a leg up. Newbies like Sarah didn't realize that until her first gig.

Tax Liabilities

Self-employed workers have to manage taxes for their gig work. If you’re a gig worker, set aside money each month for estimated taxes. Taxes may include self-employment taxes for Social Security and Medicare, not just income taxes. Tax time can be a rude awakening if you haven't been keeping track.

Health Insurance

One of the biggest budgeting tips for gig workers is to consider health insurance. The cost of not having insurance can be much higher than the monthly premiums. So it's something that every gig economy worker must budget for.

Business Licenses

Some states require gig workers to have a business license. It's an added cost but consider it part of the cost of doing business in the gig economy.

Learning Curve

If you’re a gig worker, especially if it's your first foray into the world of the gig economy, expect a learning curve. Mistakes can cost you time and money. But as you gain experience, you'll learn the ins and outs of maximizing your income.

Mastering the Budgeting Game in Gig Work

Why Budgeting is a Game-Changer for Gig Workers

Budgeting is more than just a buzzword—it's your financial lifeline in the unpredictable world of gig work. Gig workers face the challenge of inconsistent income, sometimes rich in tips one month and dry the next. Given this reality, creating a budget is not optional; it's essential. Chris, a seasoned freelancer, points out that understanding your average monthly expenses will help you estimate how much you need to set aside a portion for fixed expenses, like rent and bills.

Crafting Your Budget Blueprint

Start by making a list of your income sources and how much you generally make from each. Then, make sure to account for all your known costs, from taxes to insurance and the often-overlooked cost of living. Keep tabs on deductible expenses; these can lessen your tax burden when it’s time to pay your taxes. You can even consider opening a separate bank account for business income and expenses, making it easier to manage taxes and track of deductible expenses.

Safety Nets and Future-Proofing Your Finances

While budgeting helps you cover your bases month to month, it's crucial to also need to budget for long-term objectives and emergencies. The goal is to have an emergency fund equal to your average monthly expenses for at least three to six months. To build up this emergency savings, set aside a specific percentage of your income every month. A savings account with a good interest rate can be a safe place to store this fund.

The Unpredictability Factor and How to Counteract It

Income fluctuates in the gig economy, and it’s not always possible to stick to your budget to the letter. That’s where your emergency fund comes into play. When you hit a rough patch, your emergency fund can cover your fixed expenses, giving you the breathing room you need to cut costs or find additional work.

Conclusion: Become a Budgeting Guru

Budgeting allows you to be proactive about your financial health, rather than reactive. Whether your main gig is as a DoorDasher or a graphic designer, understanding your financial landscape lets you work smarter, not harder. So, consider setting up a budget that takes into account everything from your immediate needs to your long-term goals, and watch as financial stability becomes a consistent part of your gig work lifestyle.

Scaling Your Income

Budgeting isn't the only tool that will help you create a consistent income that will cover your bills, expenses, and income goals. It's also crucial to diversify your source of income. The gig economy offers some scalability options that can add to your monthly income. Consider taking up a side hustle that offers instant income opportunities. It's not just about sticking to your DoorDashes and UberEats; it's about finding multiple streams of income to keep the cash flowing.

Want to dive deeper into maximizing your gig economy income? Join our free webinar to get everything you need to know about this. No credit cards, no sales pitch—just pure, value-packed information. Trust us; you won’t want to miss this!

Juggling the Pros and Cons of Gig Work: Is There a Better Way?

Mon, 18 Sep 2023 20:38:44 GMT

Navigating Challenges: Where Gig Workers Turn for Help in the Gig Economy

Introduction

Hey there, gig economy enthusiast! �� Ever find yourself waiting endlessly for the next "ding" from your rideshare or food delivery app, pondering the meaning of life—or at least the meaning of your current gig job? You're not alone. The gig economy has become the new normal for millions of workers around the world. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, it's estimated that around 55 million people in the U.S. are engaged in some type of gig work. But is it all sunshine and rainbows, or is there a cloud looming in our "work when you want" paradise? ��️ Let's dig in and find out!

The Pros and Cons of Gig Work

Flexibility: The Gig's Best Friend ��‍♂️

Let's start with the good stuff—the reasons you jumped into gig work in the first place. The flexibility of being an independent contractor in the gig economy is hard to beat. Want to be a night owl Uber driver? Go for it! Prefer the early bird hustle as a freelance writer? More power to you! The freedom to work when you want is the bedrock of the gig economy.

But Wait, There’s a Lot More to Consider ��

However, flexibility isn't the only variable in the complex equation that is gig work. Long wait times between rideshares, the stress of delivering food while it's still hot, and let's not forget—your car isn't running on hopes and dreams. Gas ain't cheap! And don't get me started on health insurance, or should I say, the lack thereof. These are all part of the gig that many freelancers have to juggle on a daily basis.

Job Security? What's That? ��

Ah yes, job security. It's like that elusive Pokémon you've been trying to catch but just can't. One day you’re raking in decent money, and the next you’re wondering if you can afford that fancy latte. According to various studies on the freelance economy, job security is one of the main concerns among gig workers.

The Working Conditions Saga ��

And then there's the environment you work in. While Uber and Lyft provide a platform, they don't provide a car. Delivery drivers know the pains of dodging potholes to protect someone's precariously placed sushi. And let's be real—your car doubles as your office, dining room, and sometimes even a wardrobe change station.

Data, Please! ��

Before you think this is just a rant, let’s bring in some facts. The Bureau of Labor Statistics reports that although gig work provides a source of income for millions, it often lacks basic worker benefits like health insurance. In fact, a growing body of research indicates a lack of worker benefits and job security among gig workers.

So, whether you're a freelancer, rideshare driver, or any other type of gig worker, it's a mixed bag of pros and cons. Just like your mixed bag of passengers—some great, some, well... not so great. ��‍♀️

The Pick-Up Pandemonium: Gig Workers' Struggles with Food Delivery Services

Food Delivery Services: The Fast Lane to a Quick Buck? ��

When it comes to gig work, food delivery services like those offered by DoorDash and GrubHub seem to be a natural fit. No passengers to chat with or rate you, just you and that delightful aroma of someone else’s dinner. What could go wrong? Well, as many delivery workers can attest, there's a whole platter of issues that come with this type of work.

The Waiting Game ��️

First on our smorgasbord of complaints is the eternal waiting game. Whether it's sitting in your car eyeballing the restaurant's entrance or standing awkwardly in the takeout area, time is money, my friend. And let's be honest, gig workers could be using that time to pick up another gig job or maybe even enjoy a meal that doesn’t involve a steering wheel.

There's Always That One Restaurant ��‍♀️

Ah yes, every delivery driver has "that one" restaurant. The one where orders are never ready, or worse, lost in the void somewhere between the kitchen and the app. The struggle is real, and it’s frustrating, especially when you're an independent contractor with no control over the restaurant's efficiency—or lack thereof.

It's Not Just About the Food, It's About the Entire Experience ��

Working conditions matter, and as a gig worker in the realm of on-demand work, you're not just transporting food; you're delivering an experience. A late order or a spilled milkshake can spell doom in the form of a bad rating, and let’s not forget, gig employment is all about those stars ⭐.

A Bite of Reality: Stats and Data ��

But don't just take my word for it. A study from data from workers involved in restaurant-based services showed that one of the major gripes is dealing with uncooperative restaurants and long wait times, affecting their overall gig income. With the absence of benefits such as health insurance, every minute counts in the world of gig work.

There you go, diving into the not-so-delicious aspects of being a food delivery gig worker. It's a mixed bag—like that order of fries where you discover a lone onion ring. Sometimes a pleasant surprise, but often just another bump on the gig economy road.

The Online Space: An Easier Way to Make a Buck? ��

A Whole New World: Shifting the Gig Paradigm ��

Let's shift gears for a moment, shall we? Imagine a realm where the hassles of food delivery or rideshare driving are but a distant memory. Picture this: You're still an independent contractor, but you're working in an online space that offers you more control and less daily grind. Sounds intriguing, doesn't it?

The Allure of the Digital Retail Space ��

Firstly, what if there was a way to switch from hustling for each gig to managing an online platform where customers come to you? Imagine not having to worry about wait times at restaurants, traffic jams, or low ratings. The freelance work is done mostly upfront, setting things into motion for an environment where your customers can browse and buy while you focus on other aspects of your life. How’s that for a twist in work arrangements?

Instant Gratification for All ��

Unlike traditional gig work, this model allows you to offer instant retail profit opportunities and even cash back incentives for your customers. No more waiting for tips or completing a certain number of tasks to see your earnings. Your source of income is as immediate as a click, and it's got a proven track record to back it up.

It's Not Just About Selling; It's About the Experience ��

The beauty of the online model is that it's not just a one-way street. You're not only selling products but also offering a personalized shopping experience. This is crucial, especially for workers in the gig economy who crave job security and consistent income.

Data Points to Consider ��

According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the freelance economy is growing, and millions of gig workers are looking for alternative means to make money. Work from home opportunities, especially those offering more control and better working conditions, are increasingly relevant in the current workforce landscape.

In summary, if you're frustrated by the unpredictable nature of gig work, the online retail space may just be your ticket to a more stable and rewarding gig. It’s the new frontier, Awesome Creator, full of potential and free from spilled milkshakes and lukewarm fries. ��

Your Income, Your Control: Time to Make a Shift? ��

Break the Cycle ��

You've got the power to switch gears from the traditional gig job, with its pros and cons, to something that offers more financial control. Remember, you can choose to work in an online space where you set the rules. The term "gig economy" doesn't have to limit you to erratic schedules and an absence of health insurance or other benefits.

Direct Customer Contact ��

No more fumbling through multiple points of contact for each gig. Imagine dealing with just one platform where the majority of gig economy workers can manage all their operations. You've got a direct line to your customers, and the delivery is done for you. Ah, the convenience! ��

Steady Earnings on Your Terms ��

What if you could design your financial future in a way that doesn’t keep you hustling 24/7? The type of work available online allows you to move beyond just making ends meet and start thriving. Not to be a cliché, but if your current gig income is your main source of income, isn't it time to explore work that offers you more?

Where to Begin? ��️

To make the shift, you don't need to reinvent the wheel. With existing online retail platforms, the data from workers shows a trend toward stability and a primary source of income that actually feels... secure. Your next gig could be the one that changes the game for you.

H3: Conclusion: The Gig is Up! ��

It's crystal clear: while traditional gig work offers some pros, there’s a lot of cons that could make you go ��‍♀️. In contrast, the online space has become the new frontier for the future of work, empowering individual workers to take control and find a more stable, rewarding path.

Your time is precious, but if you found the right opportunity, you could probably find a little time to explore it. The world of work is rapidly evolving, and the options for gig work remain diverse. But hey, why settle for less when you can have more? You woke up awesome, and so did the gig landscape. It's time to navigate it like the Awesome Creator you are. �� Join our upcoming Zoom call, where we will discuss fool-proof ways to boost your income in the gig world. RSVP Here

Grasping at Tips: The Real Struggles of Gig Economy Workers

Mon, 18 Sep 2023 17:51:55 GMT

How Do Instacart and DoorDash Tipping Policies Affect Delivery Drivers and Customers?

Introduction

Hey, folks in the gig economy! Whether you're delivering for DoorDash, shopping for Instacart, or driving for Uber Eats, you know tips often make up the difference between an okay payday and an excellent one. But let's face it: the tipping game is more confusing than deciphering the terms of service and privacy policy of the delivery app you use. Here's why.

Tip Baiting: A Deceptive Game ��

Tip baiting isn't just annoying; it's deceptive. A study showed that 27% of DoorDash drivers have experienced tip baiting at least once. You think you're picking up an order worth your time and effort, but the customer adjusts the tip after you've gone above and beyond to get their food to them. Now, your compensation didn't match the effort you put forth.

�� Source: Gig Workers Collective

Cloudy Tipping Policy: What Even? ��️

Instacart, DoorDash, and other gig economy companies must've hired cryptographers to write their tipping policy. It's frustrating when your compensation didn't match the effort because of unclear or even deceptive policies.

�� Source: Forbes

Waiting Forever for Tips ��

Articles show fairly quick tip payments from instantly to 1-2 days, but some drivers are complaining that tips could take up to 30 days to be paid. The frustration increases, especially when you know that Grubhub allows customers to leave 22-cent tips as a signal to adjust the tips higher after a delivery, but you're stuck waiting.

�� Source: Vice

The Discrepancy in Per Order Earnings ��

You may get $10 per delivery from Uber, $6 by Instacart, and another $4 from Instacart as a tip. But that hardly feels enough when you consider per mile costs, doesn't it?

�� Source: RIDESTER

Customer Tip Woes ��

A study reported that 43% of customers don't always tip their food delivery drivers. It's a whole different story for restaurant tipping, but when it comes to food delivery service, the stats are disheartening.

�� Source: US Foods

Cash Tips & The Tax Snarl ��

Asking for cash tips outside the app might feel like a workaround, but remember, those have to be reported to Uncle Sam.

�� Source: IRS

Capped Earnings ��

In a class-action lawsuit, DoorDash was called out for capping the tip amount that could be given through the app. This not only limits a Dasher’s earnings but also makes it less likely for the tip to make up the difference when pay is less than minimum wage.

�� Source: TechCrunch

Taking Control: From Gig Work to a Digital Side Hustle ��

Tired of waiting on unreliable tips or dealing with less-than-clear company policies? What if I told you there's another way to control your income and future? Imagine a side hustle that delivers instant retail profit right into your account, no more worrying about 'adjust the tip' games. Picture a business model that allows you to offer cash back to your customers, creating a win-win scenario that keeps them coming back for more. What about joining a platform with a proven track record for empowering individuals just like you?

This isn't a pipe dream. It's a modern reality that many have already turned to. It offers the potential to redefine your earning capacity and, most importantly, ensures you're adequately compensated for the effort you put forth. No lawsuits, no need to decipher a tipping policy or terms of service, and no more going above and beyond on many orders only to get less than you deserve.

Conclusion and Call-to-Action ��️

Gig economy workers, we've heard loud and clear the frustration when your compensation didn’t match the effort you put forth. If you're tired of playing the guessing game with tips, why not join us in exploring a better way to earn? Join our upcoming Zoom call, where we will discuss fool-proof ways to boost your income in the gig world. RSVP Here

DoorDash is Saturated: What are my options to earn immediate income?

Mon, 18 Sep 2023 14:53:14 GMT

The DoorDash Dilemma—So Popular, Yet So Saturated! What Are Your Options in 2023? ��

DoorDash: it's become as synonymous with food delivery as Netflix is with streaming. Founded in 2013, this delivery giant has expanded its empire across the U.S. and even internationally. And let's be real, who hasn't succumbed to the siren call of having sushi or tacos dropped off at their doorstep with just a few taps on their phone?

According to a Business Insider report , DoorDash captured a whopping 45% of the food delivery market share as of 2021. In 2023, that number has only continued to grow. This kind of popularity has led to a massive influx of drivers—or as DoorDash affectionately calls them, "Dashers."

But wait, what happens when too many dashers flood the market? Yep, you guessed it—driver saturation. And if you're a Dasher in 2023 looking for a slice of this very full pie, you're probably feeling like the last one picked for dodgeball. Ouch! ��

Don't worry, though; this blog isn't about doom and gloom. It's about real solutions. So if you're feeling lost in the sea of dashers, we've got some lifeboats coming your way.

The Realities of DoorDash Saturation: A Glimpse Behind the "Dash" Curtain ��

DoorDash Account Has Been Saturated—Say What?

So you've Googled "saturated DoorDash sign-up" and found out it's not just you; many others are getting the same message. It's like being told the party is full just as you show up, fashionably late or not. �� This is what driver saturation is all about: too many drivers, not enough orders.

Reddit threads are buzzing with drivers venting about the drop in the number of orders, or worse, accounts being deactivated due to saturation. If DoorDash has recently given you the boot, saying your account has been saturated, you’re far from alone.

The DoorDash Trap and Problems No One Talks About

DoorDash has its own quirks—let's call them the "DoorDash traps." These are things like "peak pay" promises that don't always pan out and issues around customer tips affecting your pay. Dashers have also expressed concerns over DoorDash's working experience on platforms like TikTok , revealing the not-so-rosy side of this delivery life.

In fact, the phrase "DoorDash deactivated my account" is becoming all too common. Sure, you might've joined thinking this was a flexible side hustle, but suddenly you find your account is inactive and you're left in the dark. Not cool, DoorDash. ��

The True DoorDash Working Experience—It's Not All Sunshine and Tacos

Let’s be honest, the life of a Dasher isn't always a joyride. While you can make decent money during busy times, there are also slower days that make you question your life choices. Between the constant competition with other delivery services like Uber Eats and Grubhub, and the challenges of DoorDash's ever-changing algorithms, it's not as smooth sailing as one might think.

Some Dashers have taken to TikTok to share their 'DoorDash problems,' revealing challenges that range from delivery issues to the customer experience. As the gig economy evolves, especially in a post-pandemic world, being aware of these real-world problems is crucial for anyone considering driving for DoorDash.

Alternative Income Avenues: Don't Put All Your Eggs in One Basket

Diversifying with Uber Eats and GrubHub (H3)

Don't have tunnel vision, my friend! The food delivery world is as expansive as your last DoorDash route. Let's talk about Uber Eats and GrubHub. DoorDash pays per delivery and includes tips and peak pay, whereas Uber Eats uses a multiplier effect based on time and distance. GrubHub offers a base plus tips. Here’s a great comparison of the pay structures to give you a solid idea.

Go Beyond Food: Grocery Delivery

Believe it or not, food isn't the only thing people need. Enter the realm of grocery delivery. These platforms can be less saturated but equally, if not more, profitable. Sites like Instacart allow you to shop and deliver groceries, expanding your clientele beyond the fast-food fanatics.

Get Off the Road and Click Your Way to Cash

Ever thought about how amazing it would be to earn without even getting out of your PJs? Say hello to shopallthat.com . This is more than an online shopping platform; it's a goldmine for anyone looking to diversify their income streams. Here's why:

VIFT (Volume-Indexed Foreign Transaction): This means you earn more when more people shop.
Retail Profit & Product Brokerage Diversification: Not tied to any particular product or brand, you are free to explore and reap the rewards.
Cash Back Shopping: Ever wanted to get paid for spending money? Now you can.

It's part of the broader Market America Shop.com portfolio, providing you with a multitude of options to really ramp up your income. And trust me, you want to be on this train; it's going to Moneyville. ��

So there you have it, folks. Diversification is the name of the game. Whether you're zigzagging across the city delivering grub or chilling at home clicking your way to riches, the choice is yours.

If you're set on Door Dash, let's look at some ways you can stand out as a Dasher.

Strategies for Standing Out as a Dasher in 2023

Becoming a Top Dasher: Is It Worth It?

Ah, the elusive "Top Dasher" status. Sounds fancy, but what does it really mean? To achieve this coveted title, you'll need a customer rating above 4.7 and an acceptance rate above 70%, among other requirements. But the perks? First dibs on orders and the ability to dash whenever you want, wherever you want.

According to data, Top Dashers can earn around 15-25% more compared to your regular Joes (or Janes) dashing around town. Here’s a source that breaks down the numbers so you can decide if it's worth the hustle.

Peak Pay and Busy Times: Timing is Everything

You've heard the saying, "Timing is everything," right? Well, in the world of dashing, it couldn't be more accurate. During peak hours, DoorDash offers something called "Peak Pay," which is essentially a bonus for working during busy times.

Acceptance Rate Matters
The acceptance rate isn't just a number; it's your ticket to more opportunities. A higher rate can also increase your chances of snagging those juicy Peak Pay orders. While DoorDash won’t deactivate you for a low rate, having a higher one can definitely make your dashing days more profitable.

So what are the busiest times? Fridays through Sundays are generally the most active, and lunch and dinner hours during weekdays also offer a surge in orders. Align your schedule with these periods, and you could be laughing all the way to the bank. ��

Final Words and Action Steps

Don't Despair, Dasher: You've Got Options

Alright, let’s recap so you can dash—or not dash—with purpose. Whether it's optimizing your dashing game in 2023 by striving for Top Dasher status, diversifying with Uber Eats and GrubHub, or exploring other income avenues like shopallthat.com, the point is: you're far from stuck. You have options, and more than one way to pad that wallet. ��

Ready for a Change? Here’s Everything You Need to Know

Feeling that itch for change? How about making some instant income online with VIFT? Your next step is just a swipe away. Join our upcoming Zoom call where you’ll meet actual humans who've already kickstarted their journey toward better income. Seriously, no strings attached. ��

�� Join the Zoom Here and get all the insider tips you need to scale your income. Because learning from those who've been there, done that is always a smart move.

Scaling Your Way Out of Gig Work Struggles

Sun, 17 Sep 2023 23:09:20 GMT

Challenges of the Gig Worker, and Solutions that Make Sense

Hey there, Gig Worker�� If you're here, it's likely you are struggling with many of the challenges gig workers often face. I get it, the gig economy has revolutionized the ability to make income on your terms, but let's face it, there is a dark side. Unpredictable income, zero benefits, and don't even get us started on job insecurity. But what if I told you there's a way to flip the script? Today, we’re diving into the most common challenges Gig Workers face and how they can leverage scalability to solve many of them.

Challenge: Inconsistent Income

The Real Struggle of Unpredictable Paychecks

Let's be real, one of the biggest headaches in gig work is the inconsistency in income. You may have days you're pulling in decent money, and then, bam! A dry spell that leaves you scraping pennies together. Ever tried planning a family vacation or sticking to a monthly budget with that kind of financial rollercoaster? Good luck, right? ��

According to data from the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, the median weekly earnings for full-time gig workers are only about $797, as of May 2020. Imagine juggling bills, groceries, and other life expenses on that. U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics .

Solution: Consider the Power of Scalability

Unleash Diverse Income Streams

Instead of putting all your financial eggs in one basket, how about a strategy that offers multiple ways to earn? That's where scalability comes in. This approach lets you diversify your income sources so that you're not solely dependent on one stream. And let's be clear: we're not just talking about working more; we're talking about working smarter. Scalability allows your earnings to grow proportionally with your efforts, making every hour you invest count more.

Beyond the Gig: Income You Can Count On

Here's the game-changer: once you set up these diverse income streams, they can become residual. What that means is, even when you're not actively hustling, you're still earning. No more fretting about how you'll cover next month's rent or afford that much-needed getaway with your family.

Challenge: Time Constraints

Racing Against the Clock

Ah, the tyranny of the ticking clock. You've got 24 hours in a day, and it feels like gig work wants to consume them all. You're always on the hustle, right? Meetings here, projects there, and don't even get me started on commuting. Seriously, how are you supposed to enjoy life or spend time with loved ones when you're trading every precious minute for a dollar?

Let's put some numbers to this: according to a study by Upwork, freelancers in the U.S. average 36 hours a week, but those hours aren't all billable. Yep, that's a lot of time spent on administrative tasks or chasing new gigs. Upwork .

Solution: Create Time with Scalability

Your Time Multiplied

So you're looking for more hours in the day? While I can't change the laws of physics, I can introduce you to the magic of scalability of your time and income. Scalable business models let you put your work to use in multiple ways. The content you create or the services you provide can be repurposed or expanded to create supplemental income streams. Instead of continually chasing new clients, why not make the most of what you're already doing?

Living Life on Your Terms

Think of time a bit more creatively. What if you were getting credit for work being done, but you didn't have to be the one to do it. This is usually saved for bosses with employees, overhead costs and high risk. But digital platforms have made it possible to grow in a global economy, without the risks of traditional business. What that means is you live life on your terms: You can attend your kid's school event without worrying about losing a whole day’s income. You can even explore new opportunities, delve into hobbies, or take that cooking class you've been eyeing. Now that's what I call winning. ��

Challenge: Lack of Benefits

The Grim Reality of No Safety Net

So you've joined the on-demand economy. Good for you! �� But let's get real for a sec—where are those healthcare benefits? And it's not just healthcare; we're talking no retirement savings, no paid leave, nada. You're essentially a one-person show, and that's a lot of hats to wear, my friend. When you're juggling so many roles, something as critical as a benefits package can easily slip through the cracks.

Solution: Achieving Benefits Through Scalability

Your Health Matters

We all know health is wealth, so it's a big ol' problem when you can't afford regular check-ups. Supplemental income streams give you the financial muscle to actually consider individual healthcare plans. According to eHealth, the average premium for individual health coverage was $456 per month in 2020. When you're scaling your income, that becomes a much more manageable cost. eHealth

Planning for the Future, Finally

Retirement may seem light years away, but ask anyone who's there, and they'll tell you it crept up on them. These days, people are having trouble making rent so saving for retirement becomes more than just a pipe dream. According to the IRS, the annual contribution limit for a Roth IRA is $6,000 as of 2021. With additional income, you could max out that contribution and be well on your way to a comfortable retirement. IRS

Challenge: Job Insecurity

The Anxiety of the "What Ifs"

If you've been in the gig economy for a minute, you know the gnawing feeling of job insecurity. Will you have enough gigs next month? What if your main client ghosts you? That nagging "what if" can keep you up at night, messing not only with your sleep but your ability to plan for anything—vacations, holidays, or even just a night out. It's like you're on a never-ending audition, and that level of stress? Not sustainable.

Solution: Fortify Your Career Through Scalability

Build Your Fortress

Say goodbye to tossing and turning at 3 AM, worrying about your next gig. Scalability gives you the leverage you need to build a reliable, consistent income. By establishing supplemental income streams, you create your own safety net. You're not just stacking gigs; you're building a fortress of financial security. A Gallup Poll found that 36% of U.S. workers are part of the gig economy. Imagine if all of them had multiple income streams. How much more secure would they feel? Gallup Poll

Longevity Over Trends

Let's get real. The world is always changing, and today's hot gig can be tomorrow's old news. But a scalable model is like a good wine—it gets better with time. By investing in something that has longevity, you're setting yourself up for long-term success. According to a report by McKinsey, 20-30% of the working-age population engage in some form of independent work. This tells us that flexible work is not a fad; it's here to stay. By scaling up, you're adapting to the changing landscape, making you a contender for the long haul. McKinsey

Challenge: No Work-Life Balance

The Paradox of Freedom

Ah, the allure of flexible work arrangements. Set your hours, be your boss, work in PJs—all the promises that hooked us into this gig economy lifestyle. Yet, somehow, many end up feeling like slaves to the job, shackled to our desks day and night. The flexibility turns into a mirage as we juggle client demands, deadlines, and that dreaded thing called invoicing. Before you know it, your 'free time' has been gobbled up, leaving you wondering, "What happened to my life?"

Solution: Reclaim Your Time Through Scalability

Flexible Lifestyle

Enough with the grind that never seems to end! Scalability is the MVP that can turn things around. By leveraging your efforts, you create a balance between work and play. You decide your hours, set your pace, and have time to actually live your life. According to a report by Upwork, 77% of freelancers say they have a better work-life balance since going freelance, but 41% say income predictability is a challenge. Scalability can help you keep the balance while making your income more predictable. Upwork

More Than Just a Job

It's time to reignite those hobbies, passions, or even random curiosities you've shelved for too long. With scalable income, you can accelerate your earnings without sacrificing every waking moment to work. An added bonus? Research shows that people with hobbies are less likely to experience stress and burnout. So, get out there and pick up that guitar, join a cooking class, or whatever makes your heart sing. Research

Challenge: High Competition

The Gig Economy Thunderdome

Ever feel like you're in an episode of "Survivor," but the island is the gig economy and everyone is out for themselves? High competition is a real headache, making it tough to win bids or secure long-term gigs. Your skills are constantly compared to the next best thing, and hey, we get it, it's exhausting. It's like a never-ending race where everyone is aiming for that one golden trophy, leaving you with stress and burnout.

Solution: Strength Through Scalability

Be the Special Sauce

The secret to standing out in a saturated market? Leveraging your unique offerings. Think about it like this: If you're selling a product or offering a service that's truly one-of-a-kind, you reduce the competitive stress. Scalability lets you go beyond generic gigs and tap into exclusive, specialized markets. Suddenly, you're not just another cog in the machine; you're the machine everyone wants to use.

The Strength of a Community

Competition, it's not just a solo sport. Sure, it's a gig-eat-gig world out there, but what if you turned your competitors into collaborators? Scalable models enable you to build your network, strengthening not just your opportunities but the community's too. Say goodbye to the lone-wolf syndrome and hello to a new world of collaborative potential. You'll find that when you're all working together, everyone wins. ��

Challenge: Skill Underutilization

The Unused Tool in the Shed

You know you've got skills that would make even Renaissance masters jealous, yet here you are, doing the same monotonous gig tasks day in, day out. You're like a Swiss Army knife only being used to open cans—frustrating, isn't it? This repetition doesn't just bore you, but it also keeps you from reaching new clients or markets, making you feel like your talents are going to waste.

Solution: Full Throttle with Scalability

Unlock Your Skill Vault

No more being a one-trick pony. With scalable models, you can stretch those skill wings and fly. One day you're designing a killer logo, the next you're launching a game-changing marketing campaign. This flexibility not only increases your value but also keeps the job interesting. Who wants to be stuck in a routine when they could be showcasing their full portfolio of talents?

Dive Deep into Your Craft

If specialization is more your jam, scalability is your best friend. Instead of spreading yourself too thin, you can channel your energies into that one thing you're incredibly passionate about. Picture this: you're not just a writer; you're THE go-to expert on eco-conscious living or modern-day mysticism. Scalability turns your specialty into your superpower, making you a sought-after expert in your field.

And there you have it! Whether you're a generalist or a specialist, scalability helps you maximize your skill set, turning you from underutilized talent to an indispensable asset. ��

Challenge: Limited Growth Opportunities

The Ceiling Above You

Ah, the gig economy! It often promises freedom and autonomy, but then you hit that invisible ceiling. You know, the one that seems to say, "Congrats, you've reached the end of your freelance journey." In traditional employment, there's often a path for upward mobility. But in gig work, it's easy to feel like you're in a perpetual loop, just another gig worker with limited options for advancement.

Solution: Smash Through the Ceiling

Room to Climb

Who said freelancers can't rise through the ranks? Technological advancements have revolutionized the gig economy, providing a bright future for the gig economy. Multiple tiers and leadership roles within modern gig platforms offer avenues to foster your professional development. You're not just a cog in the wheel; you're an individual embracing your full potential.

Your Own Corporate Ladder

In freelance work, you're not climbing someone else's corporate ladder; you're constructing and climbing your own. How's that for real autonomy? Ditch the traditional employment mindset that limits you to full-time employee roles with set hierarchies. In today's gig economy, you have the agency to accelerate your growth, on your own terms.

With these new avenues for growth, you're not just stuck in freelance limbo. You're empowered to reach new heights, bust through ceilings, and maybe even construct a few ladders of your own. ��

Challenge: Geographic Limitations

The Local Bubble

The gig economy is booming, but what if your hometown isn't? It's easy to feel confined to local clients, due to the rise in popularity of this type of work, meaning gig work becomes highly saturated. Geographic barriers can keep you from accessing a broader market, capping your income and your potential. Just another downside of the traditional employment setup, right?

Solution: Bust Out of the Bubble

Go Global

Time to embrace the digital age! Technological advancements in the gig economy are now letting you tap into international markets. No need to be geographically shackled when you can offer your services or products globally.

Your Office, Anywhere

Why limit yourself to a specific location when the digital world allows you autonomy to work from anywhere? Not only are you expanding your reach, but you're also gaining the flexibility to live and work where you please. Digital nomad lifestyle? Gig economy platforms have made it more possible than ever.

With these tips, the world really can be your oyster in the gig economy. You can say goodbye to those geographic limitations and hello to a life of true freedom. ��

Challenge: High Operational Costs

The Hidden Expenses

Ever calculated the true cost of your freelance gig? It's not just about the time you invest; it's also about the operational costs that add up. Whether it's software subscriptions, high-quality materials, or even the cut platforms take—these expenses can eat into your profits. It can get stressful, leaving you to wonder if you're really making as much as you think.

Solution: Cut Costs, Not Corners

Efficiency Over Expenditure

What if you could operate without draining your wallet? Advances in tech have made gig work more efficient than ever. In fact, according to a Deloitte study , automation is expected to reduce operational costs by an average of 27%. This means you can keep more of your hard-earned money where it belongs: in your pocket.

More Profit, Less Stress

Navigating through a maze of operational costs is nobody's idea of fun. However, the gig economy has evolved to allow for a more efficient way of doing business. You no longer have to stress about every penny spent, giving you the freedom to focus on your work, your life, and your dreams.

Lowering operational costs isn't just a dream; it's a reality many in the gig economy are embracing. By being smart and efficient, you can maximize profits and minimize stress.

The Ultimate Solution: You've Got Options!

It's clear that the gig economy is full of challenges—yet, it's also full of promise. Whether it's inconsistent income, time constraints, or a host of other issues, there's a way to break through and build a sustainable career without sacrificing your autonomy or your sanity.

Remember, you don't have to do it alone. Building a successful gig doesn't just happen overnight.

Ready to Revolutionize Your Gig?

Don't just hustle harder—hustle smarter. If you're looking to really embrace the power of the gig economy and discover the future of work that allow you control your time and money, then it may be worth a chat!

�� Book a free call with me, and let's explore how you can take your freelance gig to the next level.

Trust me, the coffee will taste even better when you're sipping it from the cup of success. ☕

Q: What is the gig economy?

A: The gig economy refers to a labor market characterized by short-term contracts or freelance work. It is a growing trend where people work on a project or task basis rather than having a traditional 9-to-5 job.

Q: Who are gig workers?

A: Gig workers, also known as freelancers or independent contractors, are individuals who work on a temporary basis for multiple clients or organizations. They often rely on gig work as their primary source of income.

Q: What are the benefits of the gig economy?

A: The gig economy offers flexibility and freedom to both workers and employers. It allows workers to choose when and where they work, and it provides employers with access to a diverse pool of talent without a long-term commitment.

Q: How can businesses benefit from hiring gig workers?

A: Hiring gig workers can be beneficial for businesses in several ways. It allows them to tap into specialized skills and expertise on-demand, reduces fixed labor costs, and enables them to adapt quickly to changing market conditions.

Q: How can I find gig workers?

A: There are various gig economy platforms available where you can find and hire gig workers. These platforms, like Upwork or Fiverr, connect businesses with freelancers who are looking for gig work opportunities.

Q: Can I work with gig workers remotely?

A: Absolutely! The gig economy allows for remote work arrangements. You can collaborate with gig workers from anywhere in the world as long as you have a reliable internet connection.

Q: How can I effectively manage gig workers?

A: Managing gig workers requires clear communication and setting expectations upfront. Establishing good working relationships, providing feedback, and providing the necessary resources and support can help you effectively manage your gig workers.

Q: What role does technology play in the gig economy?

A: Technological advancements have played a significant role in the growth of the gig economy. Platforms like Uber, TaskRabbit, and Airbnb have revolutionized how people find and hire gig workers, making it easier for businesses and individuals to connect.

Q: What does the future of the gig economy look like?

A: The gig economy is expected to continue growing as more workers embrace the flexibility and opportunities it offers. As technology evolves, the gig economy will likely shape the future of work, with gig workers playing a crucial role in various industries.

Q: How can I leverage the gig economy to scale my business?

A: To leverage the gig economy, you can explore hiring gig workers for specific projects or tasks that require specialized skills. By tapping into the gig economy, you can access a wide talent pool and scale your business without the need for long-term commitments.

The Illusion of the Hustle: How to Do Less and Make More as a Gig Worker

Fri, 15 Sep 2023 03:15:30 GMT

Unlocking the True Potential of Gig Work

Take Control by Shifting Your Mindset

Hey there, you fabulous gig worker! �� Let's be real: the grind is no joke. One minute you're cruising along with your favorite playlist, and the next, you're stuck in traffic wondering if this gig is really worth your time. It's time to switch things up!

Why Settle for Quick Cash When You Can Have Sustainable Income?

We've all been there—choosing gigs that offer instant cash to meet immediate needs. It's the path of least resistance, right? But here’s the thing, what if you could actually build a consistent, sustainable income without sacrificing all your time? Game changer!

The 'Big Picture' of Earning

Instead of counting dollars per gig, start thinking in terms of earning potential. Picture this: you build something once (like a client base with recurring needs or joining a scalable business model) and it continues to pay off. This is what I mean by looking at the big picture. It’s not about the hustle; it’s about smart, strategic moves.

The Freedom to Choose Your Hours, and Really Mean It

So I'm guessing you picked gig work for flexibility, am I right? But let's face it, when the bills pile up, flexibility feels like a fantasy. You start to think, "When did I sign up for this 24/7 life?"

Traditional Gig Work Vs. A Scalable Model

So what's the alternative? I think what is missing for you is scalable income sources. Scalability gives you control over your time and your income. You're probably used to the drill: more hours equal more money. But here's a radical thought—what if more hours didn't have to mean more work? By leveraging your time, you're not just trading time for money. You're investing time today for more freedom tomorrow.

What Real Flexibility Looks Like

Real flexibility is when you control your time and your income. It's the freedom to take a day off without your cash flow taking a hit. And, let me tell you, once you experience this kind of freedom, there's no turning back. Imagine for a moment - what would you do with your waking hours if you didn't have to trade it for dollars?

Prioritize Earning Potential Over Short-Term Gains

If you've ever felt like you're in a never-ending cycle of small earnings, it's time to reevaluate your approach. Chasing after low-paying gigs may offer quick cash, but it can limit your earning potential in the long run.

Understand the Long-Term Value of Your Time

Your time is a precious resource. With a more strategic approach, you can transition from earning a set amount per hour to multiplying your income in various ways, even while you sleep. This can significantly alter your earning trajectory over time. Have you ever considered this? If so, what did you find?

Don't Give Up the Gig!

I'm not saying you should give up the gig work you are doing. You still have bills and responsibilities. But what if a few tweaks to how you spend your time could build something for today AND tomorrow.

Why now is the Year to Re-Think Your Side Hustle in the Gig Economy

Hey, let's face it, 2024 is fast approaching. The gig economy has been a game-changer for many of us. Especially after the pandemic shook the world, gigs like Door Dash and Instacart have been not just a side hustle but a lifeline. These platforms sparked a revolution in independent work, allowing thousands to become their own employer.

But you've gotta ask yourself, is this your endgame for 2023? Is it still going to work for you as well as it used to in 2024? Sure, it's decent income, but is it really serving as your primary source of income in the way that satisfies you? That's where the conversation about scalability comes into play. You know, making your hustle more than just a full-time job with an employer who doesn't give you the control you crave.

Independent Workers, Listen Up!

Look, the gig workforce is huge and growing, but how many actually move beyond trading time for money? What if you could build multiple income streams that didn't require you to constantly hunt for the next gig?

As we come into Q4 of 2023, the landscape is ripe for those who want to transition from independent work to becoming independent workers with greater control. And when you're in the driver's seat (pun intended ��), you get to decide how you allocate your time and resources.

By taking a moment to re-think how you approach your side hustle, you can open doors to opportunities that make every hour you work contribute to something to give you that control over your time and your income earning potential.

The Evolving World of Freelancers and Contractors in 2023

Once upon a time, freelancers and independent contractors were the outliers, and the gig economy was barely a blip on the radar. Full-time employees were the focus and it was barely ok to take time off for vacation, let alone work from home. Fast forward to today, and it's an entirely different ball game. Digital platforms have made it easy to generate income, and for some, this is their primary income.

But here's the thing: in the rapid pace of today's world, it's not just about earning income. It's about how you're earning that income and how you can make it work harder for you. Traditional freelance work or being a contractor often means trading time for money. And let's be honest, time is a finite resource; once spent, you can't get it back. So, what's the solution?

The Economy May Be Changing, But Opportunity is Constant

Whether you're a freelancer or an independent contractor, the economy may shift, but the demand for skilled, reliable workers never really fades. It just changes form. With multiple income streams, you're not putting all your eggs in one basket, and you're opening the doors to a more abundant future.

The Magic of Duplication ✨

Ever find yourself bouncing between Spark, DoorDash and Instacart, trying to make some extra money while battling the brink of burnout?

So, what's the alternative? Duplication, darling! Imagine a world where you're not juggling working multiple jobs for minimum wage but instead have your efforts duplicated. Imagine a model where one good turn can ripple out and magnify itself without you having to lift a finger. No more hustling from one gig to another. No more feeling like a hamster on a wheel. Duplication means you're multiplying your efforts, not your stress.

Duplication is not just about mirroring what works; it's about establishing a system that is self-sustaining and evergreen. It offers a path that doesn't wear you down but builds you up.

Let's Make Your Hard Work Pay Off Even More

You're out there, putting in the effort, grinding away to make ends meet. We see you, and we know you're working hard. What if I told you that your hard work could be channeled into something that doesn't just exchange dollars for hours but actually allows you to control how much you earn—regardless of how many hours you have in a day?

The thing is, you're already putting in the work; let's make sure that work is building towards something more sustainable, more scalable, and ultimately, more rewarding.

Ready to Level Up?

Swipe up to join our next Zoom call and meet people who've already started scaling their income. No strings attached, promise! This is your chance to learn from others who have walked the walk and can help point the way.

�� Swipe Up Here

Don't settle for just scraping by when you can make every minute of your work count toward a more secure, abundant future. Your gateway to a scalable income is just a swipe away. Can't wait to see you there!

Remember, you woke up awesome today. Let's make sure the world knows it. ��

Conquering Seasonal Allergies Naturally

Mon, 17 Jul 2023 17:38:01 GMT

Understanding the Causes and Finding Relief

Summer is a season of warmth, sunshine, and outdoor adventures. But for many individuals, it is also allergy season. The itchy eyes, sneezing fits, sinus issues like congestion can quickly put a damper on the joys of summer. If you're tired of relying on over-the-counter medications that leave you drowsy or simply seeking a more natural approach to allergy relief, you're in the right place.

In this article, we'll explore the causes of summer allergies and delve into the world of natural remedies. We'll specifically focus on the remarkable benefits of OPC (oligomeric proanthocyanidins) ingredients, such as Pycnogenol, grape seed extract, and red wine extract. But don't worry, this isn't a sales pitch; our aim is to provide you with casual, educational support to help you find relief from summer allergies.

Why go the natural route, you might ask? Well, natural remedies not only offer relief from bothersome symptoms but also support your overall well-being without the side effects associated with conventional allergy medications. And OPC ingredients, derived from nature's abundant sources, have been gaining recognition for their potential to combat allergies effectively.

Before we delve into the world of OPC ingredients and their benefits, let's first understand what causes those summer allergies that seem to haunt us during the warm months. By gaining a deeper understanding of the triggers, we can better equip ourselves to combat them naturally and enjoy a more comfortable summer season. So, let's jump right in!

What Causes Summer Allergies?

As the temperature rises and nature springs to life, summer allergies, also sometimes called" hay fever" make their presence known, causing discomfort for many individuals. Understanding the causes behind these allergies is the first step towards finding effective relief. Let's explore the types of allergy symptoms and causes so we can look at ways to reduce your risk and hopefully reduce allergy symptoms.

Pollen:

When we think of seasonal allergies, pollen is the biggest allergy trigger that comes to most peoples' mind. During this time of year, various types of pollen become widespread, including those from grass, trees, and weeds. As these plants bloom and release their pollen into the air, individuals with allergies can experience a range of symptoms, from sneezing and runny nose to itchy, watery eyes.

Pollen triggers allergic reactions in sensitive individuals by stimulating the immune system. When pollen particles enter the respiratory system, the body's immune response goes into overdrive, releasing histamines to combat the perceived threat. These histamines cause the typical allergy symptoms, leading to discomfort and frustration.

Pet Allergens:

Pets bring love, companionship, and joy into our lives, but for some individuals, they can also be a source of allergies. Pet allergens, such as dander, can trigger allergic reactions in sensitive individuals, leading to symptoms like sneezing, itchy eyes, and respiratory discomfort.

Common allergenic pets include cats, dogs, and birds, as their dander contains proteins that can cause allergic reactions. Even without direct contact with pets, their allergens can linger in the home, settling on surfaces and circulating in the air, especially if they have access to common areas.

Mold:

While often associated with damp indoor environments, mold can also cause allergy symptoms. Mold spores thrive in warm and humid conditions, making the summer months an ideal breeding ground. Outdoor environments, such as gardens, compost piles, and wooded areas, can harbor mold spores, ready to cause trouble for allergy sufferers.

Indoor spaces are not exempt from mold either. Bathrooms, basements, and poorly ventilated areas can be susceptible to mold growth, particularly during the summer when humidity levels tend to rise. Exposure to mold spores can lead to respiratory issues, nasal congestion, and allergic reactions.

Dust Mites and Insect Bites:

Summer allergies aren't limited to outdoor triggers. Indoor allergens like dust mites can cause significant discomfort, especially during the warmer months when humidity levels increase. Dust mites thrive in bedding, upholstery, and carpets, making them difficult to avoid. These microscopic creatures can trigger allergic reactions, leading to symptoms like sneezing, itching, and congestion.

Additionally, insect bites can exacerbate allergy symptoms. Mosquito bites, in particular, can cause localized allergic reactions in some individuals. When a mosquito bites, it injects saliva into the skin, which can trigger an immune response, resulting in redness, swelling, and itching.

Air Pollution:

While not exclusive to summer, air pollution can worsen allergy symptoms and make the summer season more challenging for allergy sufferers. Pollutants such as vehicle emissions, industrial pollution, and airborne particles can irritate the respiratory system and trigger allergic reactions.

Minimizing exposure to air pollution is crucial for managing summer allergies. Staying indoors on days with high pollution levels, using air purifiers, and avoiding areas with heavy traffic can help reduce the impact of pollutants on your allergies.

Summer allergies are often caused by a combination of pollen, mold, dust mites, insect bites, and air pollution. Year long issues can be caused by many of these, as well as pet allergens. By understanding these triggers, you can take proactive steps to minimize exposure and find relief. In the next section, we'll delve into the world of natural remedies, with a focus on OPC ingredients, to combat summer allergies effectively and naturally.

The Power of OPC Ingredients in Allergy Relief

When it comes to controlling allergy symptoms, OPC (oligomeric proanthocyanidins) ingredients have gained recognition for their potential benefits. Many people with allergies use them seasonally or all year round. Derived from various sources such as grape seed extract, pine bark extract, and even red wine extract, OPCs have shown promise in alleviating allergy symptoms and supporting overall well-being. Let's delve into the remarkable world of OPC ingredients and how they may help combat summer allergies. When looking for natural remedies for allergies, they are worth considering. Let's take a look at them more closely.

Introducing OPC:

Before we explore specific OPC ingredients, let's understand what OPCs are all about. OPCs are powerful plant compounds known as flavonoids, found naturally in food, primarily found in grape seeds and pine bark. These compounds possess antioxidant and anti-inflammatory properties, making them valuable for allergy relief and overall health.

Today, various OPC products are available on the market, offering the benefits of these natural compounds in convenient forms such as supplements and extracts. By incorporating OPC ingredients into your daily routine, you may find a natural ally in your battle against summer allergies.

Pycnogenol: Nature's Allergy Fighter:

One OPC ingredient that deserves special attention is Pycnogenol. Derived from French maritime pine bark, Pycnogenol is a patented OPC extract renowned for its potential to alleviate allergy attack. Scientific studies have shown promising results, suggesting that Pycnogenol can reduce the frequency and severity of allergic reactions.

Pycnogenol's effectiveness lies in its ability to inhibit the release of histamines, the compounds responsible for triggering allergic reactions. By regulating histamine levels, Pycnogenol can help alleviate symptoms like sneezing, itching, and congestion, allowing you to enjoy the summer months with greater comfort.

But don't just take our word for it. Testimonials from individuals who have incorporated Pycnogenol into their daily routines speak volumes about its effectiveness. Many have reported significant improvements in their symptoms, enabling them to embrace the joys of summer without the burden of allergies. It's important to consult with healthcare professionals and refer to credible sources for more information on Pycnogenol's potential benefits.

Grape Seed Extract: A Natural Antihistamine:

Another OPC ingredient worth considering is grape seed extract, naturally found in grapes. Packed with OPCs, grape seed extract possesses antihistamine properties that can help mitigate allergy symptoms. Scientific research has indicated that OPCs from grape seed extract may reduce histamine release and modulate the immune response, providing relief from sneezing, itching, and nasal congestion.

Individuals who have taken grape seed extract regularly, have reported positive outcomes over time. By naturally targeting the underlying mechanisms of allergies, grape seed extract offers a gentle and effective approach to managing summer allergies. However, as always, consulting with healthcare professionals and referring to reputable sources is essential when considering grape seed extract for allergy treatment.

Red Wine Extract: Uncovering its Allergy-Fighting Potential:

Surprisingly, even red wine extract contains OPCs that could play a role in combating allergies. While it's important to note that moderation is key when it comes to alcohol consumption, red wine extract, in controlled amounts, may provide some relief for allergy sufferers. OPCs present in red wine extract have been studied for their potential to reduce inflammation and modulate immune responses.

Scientific studies and testimonials have shown promising results, suggesting that red wine extract may contribute to seasonal allergy sympotoms relief. However, it's crucial to consult with healthcare professionals and consider personal circumstances before incorporating red wine extract into your allergy management routine.

In conclusion, OPC ingredients such as Pycnogenol, grape seed extract, and even red wine extract offer natural alternatives for managing summer allergies. Their antioxidant and anti-inflammatory properties make them valuable allies in alleviating symptoms and promoting overall well-being. As with any natural remedy, it's important to seek professional advice and refer to reputable sources for guidance on dosage and usage. In the next section, we'll explore natural strategies to combat summer allergies effectively, combining the power of OPC ingredients with supportive lifestyle changes.

Natural Remedies for Seasonal Allergies:

While incorporating OPC ingredients can help relieve seasonal allergies, a comprehensive approach that combines natural strategies can further enhance your battle against those pesky allergens. Let's explore some effective natural strategies that can help you combat summer allergies and promote overall well-being.

Minimizing Exposure:

One of the first lines of defense against allergies is minimizing exposure to allergens. Here are some practical tips to consider:

Keep windows closed: During high pollen days, keep your windows closed to prevent pollen from entering your living spaces.
Use air filters: Invest in high-quality air filters for your home, particularly in bedrooms and living areas, to trap pollen, dust mites, and other airborne allergens.
Limit outdoor time during peak pollen hours: Pollen counts tend to be highest during mid-morning and early evening. Try to schedule outdoor activities during times when pollen levels are lower, such as after a rain shower.

Boosting Immune System:

A healthy immune system plays a crucial role in combating allergies. Strengthen your immune system naturally with these practices:

Consume a balanced diet: Incorporate a variety of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins into your diet. These nutrient-rich foods provide essential vitamins, minerals, and antioxidants to support your immune system.
Stay hydrated: Drinking an adequate amount of water helps flush out toxins and supports optimal immune function.
Get enough sleep: Aim for seven to eight hours of quality sleep each night. Sufficient rest allows your body to recharge and maintain a strong immune system.

Incorporating OPC Ingredients into Your Routine:

As mentioned earlier, OPC ingredients like Pycnogenol, grape seed extract, and red wine extract may be one of the best ways to manage allergies. They may relieve allergy symptoms, including severe allergies. My favorite way to get all 3 ingredients, in a very bioavailable format is Isotonix OPC-3 . It's drinkable, so no swallowing pills. Plus it's the most bioavailable way to get Pycnogenol on the market today. Here are the things that make it unique:

Isotonix OPC-3® is an isotonic-capable food supplement that is made from a combination of bilberry, grape seed, red wine and pine bark extracts, and citrus extract bioflavonoids, all found to be powerful antioxidants. Oligomeric proanthocyanidins (OPCs) are bioflavonoids (complex organic plant compounds) found in fruits, vegetables and certain tree barks that provide exceptional nutritional benefits to the human body. Studies have shown OPCs to be up to 20 times more powerful than vitamin C and 50 times more powerful than vitamin E in neutralizing free radicals. Isotonix OPC-3 contains the only isotonic form of Pycnogenol® in the world. Pycnogenol is a natural plant extract from the bark of the French maritime pine tree and the most clinically researched and potent bioflavonoid.*

Supporting Lifestyle Changes:

In addition to OPC ingredients, certain lifestyle changes can complement your efforts:

Regular exercise: Engage in moderate exercise regularly to support your overall health, including immune function. Physical activity can also help alleviate allergy symptoms such as sneezing, by promoting better breathing and reducing inflammation.
Stress reduction techniques: Chronic stress can exacerbate allergy symptoms. Incorporate stress reduction techniques such as meditation, deep breathing exercises, or engaging in hobbies to manage stress effectively.

By combining these natural strategies and incorporating OPC ingredients into your routine, you can tackle summer allergies head-on and enjoy a more comfortable season.

As we conclude our exploration of conquering summer allergies naturally, let's recap the key points we've discussed. We started by understanding the causes of summer allergies, including pollen, mold, dust mites, insect bites, and air pollution. Armed with this knowledge, we delved into the power of OPC ingredients, focusing on Pycnogenol, grape seed extract, and red wine extract.

Natural strategies to combat summer allergies were highlighted, emphasizing the importance of minimizing exposure to allergens, boosting the immune system, incorporating OPC ingredients into daily routines, and supporting lifestyle changes. By following these strategies, individuals can find relief from their allergies while promoting overall well-being.

The benefits of natural allergy relief methods cannot be understated. Not only do they provide relief from bothersome symptoms, but they also support your overall health without the side effects associated with conventional medications. OPC ingredients, with their antioxidant and anti-inflammatory properties, offer a promising avenue for natural relief.

We encourage you to explore OPC ingredients such as Pycnogenol, grape seed extract, and red wine extract. However, it's crucial to consult with healthcare professionals for personalized advice and dosage recommendations. They can guide you based on your specific needs and ensure the best approach for your allergy relief journey.

Remember, finding relief from summer allergies naturally is a journey that requires patience and perseverance. It's important to stay hopeful and seek support from healthcare professionals and credible sources. By adopting a holistic approach, you can reclaim the joys of the summer season with renewed vitality and comfort.

So, embrace the warmth and beauty of summer, knowing that there are natural remedies available to alleviate your allergies. Take charge of your well-being, explore the power of OPC ingredients, and let nature's bounty support you in your quest for a more comfortable allergy-free season.

Wishing you a summer filled with sunshine, joy, and allergy-free days!

*These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product(s) is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.

Time Management 101: Conquer Your Busy Schedule like a Boss

Mon, 05 Jun 2023 22:15:00 GMT

Unlock Your Time Management Superpowers: Effective Strategies for Women Entrepreneurs

Welcome, fabulous women entrepreneurs, to the world of effective time management! As we navigate the exciting and demanding journey of entrepreneurship, it's crucial to master the art of managing your time wisely. In this blog post, we'll dive into practical strategies and time management tips that will help you conquer your to-do list, boost your productivity, and make the time you spend on tasks more effective.

Embracing the Time-Saving Magic of Technology

Picture this: You're working on a brilliant project, and suddenly, your phone buzzes with a notification. You glance at it innocently, only to be sucked into a social media vortex that swallows precious minutes (or hours!) of your day. Sound familiar? Don't worry, we've all been there. But fear not, mighty entrepreneur, for technology can be both our nemesis and our ally in the battle for better time management skills.

Let's start by introducing the power of time management tools. These nifty apps, like Toggl and RescueTime, are like personal coaches for your productivity. They help you understand where your time is going, track how long tasks take, and identify areas where you might be getting lost in the time-sucking abyss. With a simple click, you can start and stop timers, making it easy to see where your precious minutes are slipping away. So, say goodbye to mindless scrolling and hello to mindful time tracking!

Carving Out Time for Self-Care in the Time Tornado

You're a superhero, but even superheroes need a break to recharge and rejuvenate. That's where self-care swoops in to save the day! We know what you're thinking: "I barely have time to breathe, let alone indulge in self-care!" But hear us out, mighty entrepreneur, because self-care isn't just a luxury; it's a necessity for your well-being and productivity.

One way to carve out time for self-care amidst the chaos is to schedule it like you would any other important appointment. Block off chunks of time on your calendar for activities that replenish your energy and bring you joy. Whether it's a yoga class, a long bubble bath, or a coffee date with your bestie, treating self-care as a non-negotiable commitment will ensure it becomes a regular part of your routine.

The Power of Delegation and Collaboration

As a woman entrepreneur, you're used to being a one-woman show. But here's a secret: You don't have to do it all on your own! Building a support system and embracing the power of delegation can be a game-changer for your time management strategies and overall success.

Imagine this: You have a mile-long to-do list, and instead of shouldering the burden alone, you reach out to talented individuals who can help lighten the load. Whether it's hiring a virtual assistant, collaborating with freelancers, or involving your trusted team members, delegating tasks can free up your time and allow you to focus on what truly matters—the big picture of your entrepreneurial vision. So, embrace your inner Wonder Woman and assemble your team of superstars!

Stay tuned for the next section, where we'll dive into the myth of work-life balance and explore strategies for finding harmony between your personal and professional life. Get ready to conquer time, one superheroic strategy at a time!

Understanding the Challenges

Being a woman entrepreneur is like juggling flaming torches while riding a unicycle on a tightrope. It's thrilling, but let's not ignore the challenges that come with it, especially when it comes to time management. We have time limits, we can find ourselves procrastinating, ignoring important tasks, and just spending your time doing things that aren't productive. This can lead to things going from important to urgent and can create higher stress levels.

Unraveling the Time Management Maze for Women Entrepreneurs

As a woman entrepreneur, you face a unique set of challenges that can make the way you use your time feel like an Olympic-level sport. From wearing multiple hats to balancing personal and professional responsibilities, it's no wonder that time can sometimes slip through your fingers like sand. But fear not, because awareness is the first step towards finding the perfect balance.

Let's talk about those sneaky pitfalls that can trip you up. One common culprit is the dreaded multitasking monster. We've all tried to juggle a million things at once, thinking we're conquering the world, only to find ourselves burnt out and frazzled. Studies have shown that multitasking can actually decrease productivity and lead to more errors. So, it's time to bid farewell to our multitasking cape and embrace staying focused without interruption.

Another challenge women entrepreneurs often face is the notorious imposter syndrome. That nagging feeling that you're not good enough or that your accomplishments are just a stroke of luck can eat away at your time and confidence. It's like having a time thief sneak into your mind and steal precious moments of productivity. But fear not, mighty entrepreneur, because we'll explore strategies to tackle imposter syndrome head-on and unleash your true potential.

Conquering the Time Management Maze

Now that we've identified the challenges, it's time to equip you with practical strategies to overcome them and conquer this maze.

One powerful technique to master is the art of knowing what is important and urgent and knowing what is not. When you have a million tasks vying for your attention, it's easy to get overwhelmed. But take a deep breath, grab your trusty notepad, and list down your tasks in order of importance. This simple act of doing one task at a time can bring clarity and focus to your day. Remember, not all tasks are created equal, so tackle the high-priority items first and get more done.

Next up, it's time to slay the procrastination dragon. We've all fallen victim to the allure of "just one more episode" or "I'll do it later." But here's the secret: the future you will thank the present you for taking action now. Beat procrastination by breaking your tasks into smaller, manageable chunks. Set specific deadlines and hold yourself accountable. And hey, if you need a little extra push, recruit an accountability buddy to keep you on track and cheer you on.

Stay tuned for the next section, where we'll dive into the importance of self-care and building support systems to maintain your sanity and improve your time management.

Prioritizing and Planning

Now it's time to dive into the exhilarating world of prioritizing and planning. Get ready to whip your to-do lists into shape and unleash your organizational prowess!

Mastering the Art of Prioritization

In this fast-paced world of endless possibilities, it's crucial to identify key tasks and goals to avoid getting lost in a sea of never-ending to-dos.

Start by taking a step back and evaluating your tasks. What are the high-impact activities that will move the needle forward in your business? These are the tasks that deserve your laser-focused attention. By identifying your priorities, you can ensure that your time and energy are dedicated to what truly matters.

Now, let's talk about the mighty to-do list. It's time to transform it from a chaotic mess to a well-organized roadmap to success. Grab your colorful pens and get ready to make your to-do list your trusty sidekick. Break down your tasks into smaller, actionable steps, and jot them down. Be specific and realistic about what you can accomplish within a given timeframe.

Planning for Success

Once you have your priorities in order, it's time to put your planning prowess to work. Effective planning is like having a compass that guides you through the labyrinth of time management.

Start by using time block techniques. This superhero strategy involves dividing your day into dedicated blocks of time for specific tasks or activities. Allocate focused time for important projects, meetings, and even breaks. By visually mapping out your day, you'll have a clear roadmap that helps you stay on track and avoid distractions.

But wait, time management champions know the importance of flexibility too. Life loves throwing curveballs, and unexpected tasks or opportunities can pop up at any moment. So, leave some wiggle room in your schedule to accommodate those surprises. Embrace the art of adaptability and remember that flexibility doesn't equal failure—it's a superpower that allows you to seize opportunities as they arise.

Mastering Productivity

Now let's talk about mastering productivity.

Creating a Distraction-Free Fortress

In this digital age of notifications and endless rabbit holes, creating a productive work environment is key.

First things first, identify your kryptonite. What are the major distractions that steal your time and focus? Social media? Email pings? Cute cat videos? Whatever it may be, it's time to put them in their place. Consider using website blockers or productivity apps to limit access during focused work periods. Remember, your time is precious, and you deserve a fortress that shields you from distractions.

Next, let's talk about batch processing. Instead of constantly switching between tasks, group similar activities together and tackle them in dedicated blocks of time. Need to respond to emails? Set aside specific time slots throughout the day instead of checking them every five minutes. By batching similar tasks, you'll streamline your workflow and maximize efficiency.

Tech Tools of the Time Management Trade

In this digital era, we're surrounded by a myriad of tools that can transform us into time management dynamos. So, grab your virtual toolbox, because it's time to embrace the wonders of technology!

From project management platforms to digital calendars and communication apps, there's a treasure trove of tech tools waiting to assist you. Find the ones that align with your work style and give them a whirl. Need help with task management? Tools like Trello or Asana. Want to streamline communication with your team? Slack and Microsoft Teams are here to save the day. With these tech allies by your side, you'll conquer tasks with lightning speed.

Oh, and let's not forget the wonders of automation. Zapier, IFTTT, and other automation tools are here to make your life easier. Delegate repetitive or time-consuming tasks to the robots, allowing you to focus on what truly matters. From email filters to social media scheduling, let automation be your trusty sidekick in saving time and energy.

Time for Self-Care

As a busy woman entrepreneur, it's easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of tasks and deadlines.

The Power of Self-Care

Let's take a moment to appreciate the importance of self-care. Picture this: You're running on empty, feeling exhausted and burnt out. Your superhero powers start fading, and your once-sharp mind becomes foggy. Sound familiar? That's why self-care is not just a luxury; it's a necessity.

When you practice self-care , you're investing in yourself and your business. It's like refueling your superhero jetpack, allowing you to soar higher and achieve greater success. So, whether it's taking a bubble bath, going for a nature walk, or indulging in a guilty pleasure, find what rejuvenates your spirit and makes you feel like Wonder Woman.

Carving Out Time for Self-Care

"But wait," you say, "I have a never-ending to-do list! How can I find time for self-care?" Fear not, because we have some ingenious strategies to help you carve out those precious moments amidst your jam-packed schedule.

First, it's time to embrace the magic of boundaries. Set clear boundaries between work and personal life, and protect your self-care time like a superhero protecting her secret identity. Communicate these boundaries to your team, clients, and loved ones, so they understand the importance of your self-care rituals.

Next, let's get creative with time management. Look for hidden pockets of time throughout your day. Can you wake up 15 minutes earlier to enjoy a peaceful cup of coffee? Can you squeeze in a mini workout during your lunch break? By seizing these small pockets of time, you'll gradually build a self-care routine that fits seamlessly into your busy schedule.

Making Self-Care a Priority

Ladies, it's time to give yourself permission to focus on your priority of self-care. Repeat after me: self-care is not selfish—it's essential. When you take care of yourself, you're not only nurturing your own well-being but also setting an example for other women entrepreneurs who may be struggling to find balance.

So, let go of the guilt and embrace self-care as a key aspect of effective time management. Remember, you are the heart and soul of your business, and by investing in your well-being, you're ensuring its long-term success. Whether you find time first thing in the morning or create a daily habit of setting time aside before bed, you can accomplish the task of self-care with little effort.

Stay tuned for the final section, where we'll explore the concept of work-life balance and discover strategies for finding joy and fulfillment in both your work and personal life. Get ready to unlock the secret to a harmonious and fulfilling entrepreneurial journey!

Building Support Systems

Hey there, Wonder Women! As much as we can accomplish on our own, sometimes we need a league of extraordinary individuals to help us conquer the challenges of entrepreneurship. That's why building a support system is like assembling your very own Justice League—it's all about harnessing the power of teamwork to save the day!

The Power of Support

Let's kick off this section by highlighting the incredible value of seeking support and delegating tasks. As a visionary entrepreneur, your superpowers lie in your ability to strategize and lead. But that doesn't mean you have to do it all alone! By delegating tasks to capable team members or outsourcing certain responsibilities, you free up precious time and mental space to focus on what you do best.

Remember, asking for help is not a sign of weakness—it's a demonstration of your wisdom and understanding of the power of collaboration. So, gather your sidekicks, identify their strengths, and let them unleash their own superpowers while lightening your workload.

Unite and Conquer

Now, let's talk about the magic of networking and collaborations. Picture this: You're attending a business event, surrounded by other entrepreneurs who share your ambition and drive. It's like entering a superhero convention! Networking opens doors to new opportunities, partnerships, and knowledge-sharing.

Reach out, make connections, and explore collaborations that can help you share the workload. Join forces with other Wonder Women in your industry to tackle common challenges together. By combining your strengths, you'll achieve more than you ever could on your own. Remember, together we rise!

The Superheroes in Your Corner

We all need mentors, cheerleaders, and accountability partners to keep us motivated and focused on our goals. That's why utilizing mentors or joining accountability groups is a game-changer for women entrepreneurs.

A mentor can be a seasoned entrepreneur who imparts wisdom and guidance, helping you navigate the entrepreneurial landscape with their superpowers of experience. They can provide valuable insights, support, and encouragement when you need it most. Seek out mentors who resonate with your vision and values, and don't be afraid to reach out and ask for their guidance.

Additionally, joining accountability groups is like having your own superhero team cheering you on and holding you accountable. These groups provide a supportive and motivating environment where you can set goals, share progress, and celebrate victories together. By surrounding yourself with like-minded individuals, you'll feel inspired, empowered, and driven to achieve greatness.

Get ready for the final section, where we'll dive into the myth of work-life balance and discover how to find harmony and fulfillment in both your work and personal life. Stay tuned, Wonder Women!

Embracing Work-Life Balance

Hey there, Superwomen! We've all heard the buzz about work-life balance, but let's face it, it sometimes feels like trying to juggle flaming torches while riding a unicycle on a tightrope. But fear not! We're here to debunk the myth of work-life balance and introduce you to a concept that's far more empowering: work-life integration.

Rethinking the Balance

Forget about achieving perfect balance, where work and personal life are neatly divided into equal halves. It's time to embrace the idea of work-life integration, where the lines between work and personal life blur a little. As women entrepreneurs, our lives are a vibrant tapestry of passion, purpose, and personal commitments. So why not weave them together harmoniously?

Think of it as a dance routine, where you seamlessly transition between work and personal activities, finding a rhythm that works for you. It's about flexing and flowing with the different demands of each day, without feeling guilty or overwhelmed. Embrace the fluidity, and you'll discover a newfound sense of freedom and fulfillment.

Boundaries for Bliss

Maintaining a healthy work-life balance (or rather, integration) requires setting clear boundaries. Think of them as your personal superhero force field, protecting your time, energy, and well-being. Here are some strategies to help you create those boundaries and keep the harmony flowing:

Super-Scheduling: Time-blocking is your secret weapon. Allocate specific time slots for work, personal activities, and self-care. Treat these blocks as sacred and non-negotiable, just like Wonder Woman's golden lasso!
Sidekick Support: Communicate your boundaries to your team, clients, and loved ones. Let them know when you're available and when you need your Batcave time. Surround yourself with a supportive squad who respects your boundaries and helps you uphold them.
Mindful Me-Time: Don't forget the importance of self-care! Schedule regular moments of bliss and rejuvenation, whether it's indulging in a bubble bath, practicing yoga, or savoring your favorite superhero movie marathon. Remember, taking care of yourself is essential for maintaining your superpowers.

Finding Joy in the Journey

In the whirlwind of entrepreneurship, it's easy to get caught up in the hustle and forget to savor the moments of joy and fulfillment. But life is too short to overlook the small victories and magical moments that make it all worthwhile.

So, our final encouragement to you, mighty Superwomen, is to find joy and fulfillment in both your work and personal life. Celebrate your wins, no matter how small they may seem. Take time to appreciate the journey, the lessons learned, and the connections made along the way.

Remember, you have the power to create a life that aligns with your values and aspirations. Embrace the adventure, embrace the balance, and never forget to embrace your inner Wonder Woman.

Congratulations, Superwomen! You've made it to the end of our time management journey. We've covered a lot of ground, from prioritizing and planning like a pro to embracing work-life integration like a true multitasking marvel. Now, let's wrap it all up with a big, empowering bow.

A. The Power of Time Management

Time management isn't just a fancy buzzword; it's the key to unlocking your full potential as a woman entrepreneur. By effectively managing time, you gain control over your schedule and workday as well as create space for both personal and professional growth.

Throughout this adventure, we've explored practical strategies like prioritization, planning, and productivity hacks. Remember, these tools are like your trusty utility belt, ready to save the day whenever you need them. Embrace them, adapt them to your unique style, and watch your superpowers soar.

B. Embrace the Time Mastery

Now, it's time to take action! Don't just let these strategies collect dust on your virtual bookshelf. Implement them, experiment with them, and find what works best for you. Embrace the challenge and the rewards that come with mastering your time.

Remember, it's not about being perfect or flawless. It's about progress, growth, and finding your own rhythm. Be kind to yourself on this journey and celebrate each milestone along the way. You're a force to be reckoned with, and with effective time management, there's no limit to what you can achieve.

C. Unleash Your Inner Superhero

As we bid you farewell, let us leave you with a fun and inspiring message. You, yes you, possess a superpower like no other. It's the power to take control of your time and make your dreams a reality. Embrace it, nurture it, and let it guide you to greatness.

In the face of challenges, setbacks, and those days when you feel like you're juggling chainsaws, remember that you are capable, resilient, and extraordinary. You are a trailblazing Superwoman, and the world needs your unique talents and vision.

So, go forth, conquer your time, and let your entrepreneurial spirit soar to new heights. Believe in yourself, surround yourself with supportive allies, and never stop pursuing your passion. Your time is now, Superwoman. It's time to shine!

Why Your Self-Worth Matters More Than Your Net Worth: A Guide for Women Entrepreneurs

trista@iwokeupawesome.com (Trista Polo) — Tue, 16 May 2023 22:24:07 GMT

The Importance of Prioritizing Your Self-Worth in Business

As a female entrepreneur, it's easy to get caught up in the constant pursuit of success and financial gain. We often measure our worth by our net worth, thinking that the more money we make, the more successful we are. But what if I told you that your self-worth is actually more important than your net worth?

When we prioritize our self-worth, we not only become more confident and fulfilled, but we also attract more success and abundance into our lives. It's time to shift our focus from external validation to internal validation, and truly understand the value of putting ourselves first. In this guide, we'll explore why your self-worth matters more than your net worth, and how you can start prioritizing your self-worth in business.

The Connection Between Self-Worth and Net Worth

Studies have shown that a woman's self worth is directly tied to her wealth. Women who feel worthy are more likely to negotiate higher salaries and ask for raises. They're also more likely to take calculated risks that can lead to financial gains. On the other hand, women who struggle with their worth may be more hesitant to take risks or undervalue their skills and abilities. This can lead to missed opportunities and lower financial rewards. So while money doesn't lead to happiness, it is important to define the asset that is your own view of your self and find your value in life.

By building yourself esteem, you can increase your confidence, resilience, and determination. These are essential qualities for any successful entrepreneur, and they can lead to greater financial success in the long run. Additionally, when you believe in yourself and your worth, you're more likely to attract clients and customers who value what you have to offer and are willing to pay for it.

The Power of Self-Worth for Women Entrepreneurs

Why Your Self-Worth is More Important Than Your Net Worth

As a woman entrepreneur, it's easy to get caught up in the numbers game. We're often told to measure our success based on our revenue, profit, and overall net worth. But what about our self-worth? The truth is, your self-worth is far more important than your net worth, and here's why:

When you prioritize your self-worth, you're more likely to make decisions that align with your values and goals. This means you won't be swayed by the latest trends or what other people think you should be doing. Instead, you'll have the confidence and clarity to stay true to yourself and your vision for your business.

On the other hand, if you're solely focused on your net worth, you may find yourself making decisions that compromise your values or push you further away from your goals. You may feel pressure to take on clients or projects that don't align with your mission, simply because they'll bring in more money. This can lead to burnout, frustration, and a lack of fulfillment in your work.

In the next section, we'll explore some practical ways to prioritize your self-worth as a woman entrepreneur, so you can build a business that not only brings in revenue but also aligns with your values and brings you joy.

The Power of Positive Self-Talk

The Impact of Self-Talk

When it comes to building your self-worth as a woman entrepreneur, one of the most powerful tools you have is your own self-talk. The way you speak to yourself can either lift you up or bring you down, and it has a direct impact on your self-worth.

Negative self-talk can be a major obstacle to success and mental health, while positive self-talk can help you overcome challenges and achieve your goals. When you engage in positive self-talk, you affirm your own worth and value, which in turn boosts your confidence and self-esteem.

How to Increase Your Self-Worth as a Female Entrepreneur

Practical Steps to Boost Your Self-Worth

As a female entrepreneur, it's easy to get caught up in the numbers game. Your net worth becomes a measure of your success, and it's easy to feel like you're not good enough if your revenue or social media followers aren't where you want them to be. But here's the thing: your self-worth matters more than your net worth. When you value yourself, you'll attract success, abundance, and fulfillment into your life.

So, how can you increase your self-worth? It's not an overnight process, but there are practical steps you can take to boost your confidence, self-esteem, and sense of self-worth. Here are a few tips to get you started:

Practice Self-Care

When you're busy building a business, it's easy to neglect your own needs. But self-care is essential for building self-worth. Make time for activities that nourish your body, mind, and soul. This can be as simple as taking a daily walk, getting a massage, or practicing meditation. Whatever it is that makes you feel good, do more of it. When you prioritize your own well-being, you send a message to yourself and the universe that you are deserving of love and care.

Cultivate a Growth Mindset

Your mindset can either help or hinder your self-worth. If you believe that your abilities are fixed and that you're not capable of growth, you'll hold yourself back. But if you adopt a growth mindset, you'll see challenges as opportunities to learn and grow. Cultivate a belief in yourself and your ability to achieve your goals. Read books, take courses, and surround yourself with people who inspire and uplift you. When you believe in yourself, you'll be more likely to take risks and pursue your dreams.

Celebrate Your Wins

It's easy to focus on what you haven't achieved yet, but it's important to take time to celebrate your wins along the way. Acknowledge and celebrate your accomplishments, no matter how small they may seem. This can be as simple as giving yourself a pat on the back or treating yourself to a nice dinner. When you celebrate your wins, you remind yourself that you are capable of achieving great things.

Surround Yourself with Positive People

The people you surround yourself with can either lift you up or bring you down. Seek out relationships with people who support and encourage you. Distance yourself from negative influences and toxic relationships. When you surround yourself with positive people, you'll be more likely to see the good in yourself and the world around you.

Overcoming Challenges and Staying Motivated as a Woman Entrepreneur

Building Self-Worth to Overcome Challenges

As a woman entrepreneur, it's important to acknowledge that challenges will come your way. From financial setbacks to managing a team, there will be times when you feel overwhelmed and doubt your abilities. However, building a strong sense of self-worth can help you overcome these challenges and stay motivated on your entrepreneurial journey.

One of the most common challenges that women entrepreneurs face is imposter syndrome. This is the feeling of self-doubt and inadequacy that can arise when you don't feel like you belong or are qualified enough to be in your position. To combat imposter syndrome, it's important to remind yourself of your accomplishments and strengths. Take the time to reflect on your successes and celebrate your wins, no matter how small they may seem.

Another challenge that women entrepreneurs often face is a lack of support or mentorship. It can be difficult to navigate the business world alone, but building a strong network of mentors and peers can provide you with the guidance and encouragement you need to succeed. Look for networking opportunities in your industry and don't be afraid to reach out to other entrepreneurs for advice or support.

Despite the challenges, there are countless inspiring stories of highly successful female entrepreneurs who have overcome self-doubt and persevered through obstacles. For example, Sara Blakely, the founder of Spanx, faced numerous rejections and setbacks before finally launching her successful shapewear company. Blakely credits her resilience to her belief in herself and her worth, saying "I believe we are all born entrepreneurs, and that we all have that potential within us. It just takes some of us longer than others to realize it."

Remember, your self-worth matters more than your net worth. By building a strong sense of self-worth and surrounding yourself with a supportive network, you can overcome challenges and stay motivated on your entrepreneurial journey.

In Conclusion

In conclusion, as a woman entrepreneur, your relationship with yourself is in direct proportion to your relationship with money. By focusing on building your self-worth and recognizing your own value, you can overcome challenges, make better decisions, and stay motivated even in the face of adversity. Remember that your net worth is not a reflection of your true worth as a person.

If you're struggling to improve your self-worth and need help setting and achieving your goals, consider seeking out mentorship or coaching from experienced professionals. Whether you're just starting out or looking to take your business to the next level, a coach can provide valuable guidance and accountability to help you succeed.

As a coach myself, I am dedicated to helping women entrepreneurs reach their full potential by improving their self-worth, setting achievable goals, and staying motivated. If you're interested in learning more about my coaching services or booking a complimentary coaching session with me, please visit my website [https://www.iwokeupawesome.com/about] or set up a complimentary introduction coaching session [here]. Let's work together to help you achieve the success you deserve!

Breaking Free from Imposter Syndrome: A Guide for Women Entrepreneurs

Thu, 11 May 2023 02:38:54 GMT

What Is Imposter Syndrome, How Does It Affect Me, and How do I Break Free?

Understanding Imposter Syndrome

Do you ever feel like you're not good enough? Do you worry that people will discover you're a fraud? If so, you may be experiencing impostor syndrome as an entrepreneur. Impostor syndrome is the feeling that you're not capable, knowledgeable, or deserving of your success, and that you've somehow tricked others into thinking otherwise. It's a common experience, especially for women entrepreneurs, but it can be detrimental to your confidence and success.

It is common among business owners, including small business owners, solo-preneurs, online marketers, affiliate marketers and more. There are many ways to deal with feeling like an imposter and we'll talk about those here in this article. We will also talk about impostor syndrome affects.

Why Addressing Imposter Syndrome is Crucial

This impostor phenomenon can be particularly insidious for women entrepreneurs. Women are often socialized to be modest and humble, which can make it difficult to recognize and celebrate their accomplishments. Additionally, women may face gender-based discrimination and bias in the workplace, which can exacerbate feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. Overcoming impostor syndrome can help build confidence, take risks, and achieve their goals.

Why You May Have Imposter Syndrome

There are many reasons why someone might experience impostor syndrome. It may be a result of past experiences where you felt like you didn't measure up or were criticized for your work. It could also be a product of societal pressures to be perfect, successful, and accomplished. Additionally, impostor syndrome may stem from a fear of failure or the belief that you need to constantly prove yourself. Whatever the cause, it's important to recognize and address impostor syndrome so that it doesn't hold you back.

Why Imposter Syndrome Can be a Good Thing

Believe it or not, impostor syndrome can actually be a good thing. Feeling like an imposter can be a sign that you're pushing yourself out of your comfort zone and taking on new challenges. It can also be a sign that you're holding yourself to high standards and striving for excellence. The key is to recognize when impostor syndrome is motivating you and when it's holding you back. With practice, you can learn to embrace the positive aspects of impostor syndrome while overcoming the negative ones.

How Imposter Syndrome Can Impact You

impostor syndrome can have a profound impact on both your personal life and your business. It can lead to feelings of anxiety, stress, and even depression. It's essential to recognize the impact impostor syndrome can have and take steps to address it. When you're constantly questioning your abilities, it can be challenging to make progress in your business and feel confident in your decisions.

Key Signs to Know if You Suffer from Imposter Syndrome

The first step to overcoming impostor syndrome is to recognize that you have it. Here are some signs that you may be struggling with impostor syndrome:

You downplay your achievements: Even when you've accomplished something significant, you dismiss it as luck or downplay your role in the success.
You're afraid of being exposed as a fraud: You're constantly worried that people will discover that you're not as competent as they think you are.
You're always comparing yourself to others: You're constantly measuring your success against others, and you often feel like you fall short.
You're afraid to take risks: You may avoid taking on new projects or opportunities because you don't feel qualified.

If you recognize these signs in yourself, don't worry. You're not alone, and there are steps you can take to break free from impostor syndrome and move forward with confidence.

How to Overcome Imposter Syndrome

The good news is that it does not have to be permanent condition, and there are steps you can take to overcome it. Let's learn how to overcome imposter syndrome. Here are some strategies that can help:

Recognize and Acknowledge Your Accomplishments

One of the best strategies is to recognize and acknowledge your accomplishments. Write down your achievements, big and small, and give yourself credit for your hard work and success. Celebrating your wins can help boost your confidence and remind you of your worth.

Take an Inventory of Your Accomplishments

Taking an inventory of your accomplishments is an essential step in overcoming imposter syndrome. Start by creating a list of your achievements, big and small, and write down the skills and qualities you used to accomplish them. Don't be afraid to include achievements that may seem insignificant. Celebrate yourself and your hard work! Review your list frequently to remind yourself of your accomplishments and the skills you possess. This will help you realize your value and capabilities and reduce the feeling of being a fraud.

Reframe Negative Self-Talk

Imposter syndrome can be fueled by negative self-talk. Instead of telling yourself that you're not good enough, try reframing your thoughts to be more positive and self-affirming. Replace "I'm not qualified for this" with "I have the skills and knowledge to succeed in this." Those negative thoughts can really undermine your confidence and belief that you are qualified and ready.

Seek Support from Others

Don't be afraid to seek support from others. Surround yourself with people who uplift and encourage you. Talk to a mentor or trusted friend about your impostor syndrome struggles. They can offer advice, perspective, and help you see things from a different point of view.

Practice Self-Compassion and Self-Care

It's important to practice self-compassion and self-care when dealing with imposter syndrome. Be kind to yourself and give yourself grace. Take care of your mental and physical health by getting enough rest, exercise, and nutrition. Practicing self-care can help you feel more confident and capable.

Set Realistic Expectations and Goals

Setting realistic expectations and goals can help you overcome imposter syndrome. Break down big projects into smaller, manageable tasks. Set goals that are challenging but achievable. Celebrate your progress along the way and focus on the process, not just the end result.

Remember, it's is common, and you're not alone. By recognizing and acknowledging your accomplishments, reframing negative self-talk, seeking support from others, practicing self-compassion and self-care, and setting realistic expectations and goals, you can break free from imposter syndrome and achieve success.

Remember, overcoming it is a process, and it takes time and effort. It's important not to underestimate or ignore the impact it can have on your mindset. This is your opportunity to learn and grow, to leave the negative feelings of not being worthy of success behind.

Get Inspired with Some Real Life Success Stories

Let me share some real life stories of successful business owners that suffered from impostor syndrome.

Emily Weiss, Founder of Glossier

Emily Weiss, founder of the beauty company Glossier, has also struggled with impostor syndrome. She has talked about feeling like a fraud and worrying that someone would find out she wasn't qualified to run a successful company. However, she has been able to overcome these feelings by focusing on the positive feedback she receives from customers and building a strong team of employees who believe in her vision. (Source: Forbes - https://www.forbes.com/sites/briannawiest/2018/10/09/glossier-founder-emily-weiss-talks-imposter-syndrome-beauty-and-building-a-brand-everyone-loves/?sh=39c201b71e8a )

Tina Fey - Well-Known American Actress, Comedian, Writer, and Producer

Despite her tremendous success, Fey has been open about her struggles with imposter syndrome.

In an interview with The New Yorker, Fey said, "The beauty of the imposter syndrome is you vacillate between extreme egomania and a complete feeling of: 'I'm a fraud! Oh God, they're on to me! I'm a fraud!' So you just try to ride the egomania when it comes and enjoy it, and then slide through the idea of fraud."

Fey's experience with imposter syndrome is a reminder that even the most successful and accomplished individuals can struggle with feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. However, Fey's willingness to discuss her experiences and share them with others has helped to bring awareness to imposter syndrome and encourage individuals to seek support and strategies to overcome it.

Source: https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2018/03/05/tina-feys-bossy-pants-redux

Reshma Saujani - Founder of Girls Who Code

Reshma Saujani is the founder of Girls Who Code, a nonprofit organization that aims to close the gender gap in tech by teaching girls to code. Despite her accomplishments, Saujani struggled with imposter syndrome and felt like a fraud. In an interview with Entrepreneur, she shared that she had to remind herself that she didn't have to be perfect and that failure was a necessary part of the learning process.

Source: https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/293585

Sophia Amoruso - Founder of Nasty Gal

Sophia Amoruso is the founder of Nasty Gal, an online clothing retailer. Amoruso struggled with impostor syndrome early on in her career and felt like she didn't belong in the fashion industry. However, she overcame these feelings by focusing on her strengths and building her business based on her own unique vision and style.

Source: https://www.forbes.com/sites/laurashin/2016/05/31/nasty-gals-sophia-amoruso-on-how-to-overcome-imposter-syndrome/?sh=7d230c3f5009

In Conclusion

Impostor syndrome is a real challenge that affects many entrepreneurs, but it doesn't have to hold you back. By understanding the signs and symptoms of imposter syndrome, you can take steps to overcome it and achieve your goals. I heard something profound recently: If you have it then you aren't it. Meaning, those that suffer this affliction are likely just lacking confidence. Those that KNOW they are imposters don't worry about it because they already know they are. So really it's a good sign to feel this way. It means you are sincere in wanting to do a good job and are probably selling yourself short. Remember, you are not alone in feeling like a fraud, and there are ways to reframe your negative self-talk and recognize your true accomplishments.

It's important to address impostor syndrome because it can limit your potential and hold you back from pursuing your dreams. By breaking free from imposter syndrome, you can unleash your full potential and achieve success in your business and personal life. Don't let self-doubt and fear hold you back from reaching your full potential.

So, to all the women entrepreneurs out there: believe in yourself and your abilities. Recognize your accomplishments, seek support when you need it, and practice self-care and self-compassion. With these tools and strategies, you can overcome impostor syndrome and achieve your goals with confidence. Remember, you are capable and deserving of success, and you have the power to make it happen.

And if you would like support in working through it, feel free to reach out to me for a complimentary 15 minute coaching session. I am happy to help.

Steal These 10 Habits of Highly Successful Women Entrepreneurs

trista@iwokeupawesome.com (Trista Polo) — Wed, 10 May 2023 18:22:14 GMT

Unlocking Success: 10 Daily Habits of Highly Confident Women Entrepreneurs

Being an entrepreneur can be tough and takes persistence. It's not uncommon to feel overwhelmed or unsure at times. But the most successful women entrepreneurs have developed habits that help them stay confident, focused, and productive, no matter what challenges come their way. And the best part? These habits are easy to adopt and can be incorporated into your daily routine right away! So, whether you're just starting out or you're a seasoned entrepreneur, buckle up and get ready to learn how to build your confidence and achieve success in your business.

As a female entrepreneur, it's important to develop habits that will help you navigate the ups and downs of entrepreneurship with confidence and grace. By adopting the daily habits of successful female entrepreneurs, you can build a strong foundation for your own success. These habits are not only beneficial for your business, but also for your personal growth and development. Female entrepreneurs know that success is a journey, and developing positive habits can help you stay on track, remain focused, and achieve your goals.

One Businesswoman Took the Business World By Storm

Sara Blakely is considered the younges self-made female billionaire in the world. She embodies many of the traits of successful people. Sara Blakely is the founder of Spanx who wanted to give women self-confidence. She started her company with just $5,000 in savings. She is known for her perseverance and dedication to her vision, which has made her a trailblazer in the business world. Blakely's story of success is inspiring to women all over the world, and she serves as a shining example of what can be achieved with hard work, determination, and a strong set of habits.

Blakely is a strong advocate for taking risks and embracing failure as a learning opportunity. Her positivity and focus on personal growth have helped her to overcome obstacles and achieve incredible success in her business.

Blakely's dedication to empowering women is another trait that sets her apart as a successful female leader. She has used her platform to support female entrepreneurial programs and encourage women to support one another in business.

Sara Blakely embodies the traits of successful entrepreneurs. Her perseverance, dedication, and positive attitude have helped her to overcome obstacles and achieve incredible success in her business. Blakely's dedication to empowering women and supporting programs that female entrepreneurs need make her a trailblazer and role model for women in the business world.

So, let's take a closer look at these 10 daily habits and how they can help you become a successful and confident female entrepreneur.

Habit #1: Daily Goals

Setting Daily Goals and Priorities Improves Chances of Success

The first habit of highly confident women entrepreneurs is to set daily goals and prioritize tasks. This will help you stay focused and productive throughout the day. This habit is essential for achieving success in both your personal and professional life. Without clear goals and priorities, it's easy to get sidetracked by distractions and lose sight of what's most important.

One way to implement this habit is to create a to-do list at the start of each day. This list should include your most important tasks for the day, as well as any smaller tasks that need to be completed. Once you've created your list, prioritize your tasks based on their importance and urgency. This will help you stay on track and ensure that you're making progress towards your goals.

This is also beneficial for your mental and emotional well-being. When you have a clear plan for the day, you can feel more in control and less stressed. By focusing on the tasks that matter most, you can reduce feelings of overwhelm and increase your sense of accomplishment.

Habit #2: Practice Self-Care

Taking Breaks, Eating Well, and Getting Enough Sleep Are Essential

As a female entrepreneur, it's easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of running your own business. However, it's important to remember that taking care of yourself is just as important as taking care of your business. That's why habit #2 is to practice self-care, such as taking breaks, eating well, and getting enough sleep.

Taking breaks throughout the day is essential for maintaining focus and productivity. It may seem counterintuitive, but taking a break can actually help you get more done in the long run. When you take a break, you give your brain a chance to rest and recharge, which can improve your creativity, problem-solving abilities, and overall productivity.

In addition to taking breaks, eating well and getting enough sleep are also crucial for your success as a female entrepreneur. Eating a balanced diet can help you maintain energy throughout the day and improve your overall health. Similarly, getting enough sleep is essential for both physical and mental well-being. When you're well-rested, you'll have more energy, be more focused, and be better equipped to handle the demands of owning your own business.

Habit #3: Network and Build Relationships

Building Strong Relationships with Industry Professionals Can Help You Succeed

As a female entrepreneur, building strong relationships with other entrepreneurs and industry professionals is key to your success. Networking and relationship-building can open doors to new opportunities, provide support and guidance, and help you stay up-to-date on industry trends and best practices.

One way to build relationships is to attend networking events, industry conferences, and other professional gatherings. These events provide opportunities to connect with others in your field, learn from industry experts, and discover new ideas and perspectives. Additionally, you can use social media and other online platforms to connect with other entrepreneurs and industry professionals, share ideas and insights, and build your personal brand.

Another way to build relationships is to collaborate with other entrepreneurs on projects or initiatives. Working with others can help you develop new skills and knowledge, build your reputation in the industry, and gain exposure to new audiences. Plus, collaborating with other entrepreneurs can be a source of inspiration and motivation, helping you stay focused and driven as you work towards your goals.

Habit #4: Take Risks and Embrace Failure as a Learning Opportunity

Why Taking Risks and Embracing Failure is Important

Taking risks and embracing failure can be scary, but it's also necessary for success as a female entrepreneur. By taking risks, you can identify new opportunities and push yourself outside of your comfort zone. And when you experience failure, it's important to view it as a learning opportunity rather than a setback. In fact, many entrepreneurs credit their failures as being integral to their eventual success.

So, as a female entrepreneur, it's important to take risks and embrace failure as a natural part of the learning process. Don't be afraid to try new things and pivot when necessary. By doing so, you'll gain valuable insights and experiences that can help you grow your business and achieve your goals.

Habit #5: Wake up Early and Practice a Morning Routine that Includes Exercise, Meditation, or Journaling

The Importance of a Strong Start to Your Day

It can be easy to get caught up in the busyness of the day and neglect your own self-care. By starting your day with intention and purpose, you can set yourself up for success both personally and professionally.

Studies have shown that waking up early and practicing a morning routine can have a positive impact on mental and physical health. By incorporating activities like exercise, meditation, or journaling, you can reduce stress, improve focus and productivity, and boost your overall mood. And for female entrepreneurs who often have a lot on their plates, a strong start to your day can provide a sense of structure and consistency that can help them feel more in control of their day.

One example of a successful female entrepreneur who prioritizes a morning routine is Arianna Huffington, founder of The Huffington Post. Huffington has shared in interviews that she wakes up at 5am every day and spends the first 30 minutes of her morning meditating. She also practices yoga and takes time to disconnect from technology before diving into her workday. By starting her day with a focus on self-care and mindfulness, Huffington is able to bring a sense of calm and clarity to her work as an entrepreneur.

Habit #6: Practice Effective Communication and Active Listening Skills for Strong Relationships

The Importance of Communication and Listening

Effective communication and active listening skills are critical for success in any area of life, but particularly habits of the successful. As a female entrepreneur, it's important to build strong relationships with clients, customers, and employees. By communicating clearly and listening actively, you can build trust and respect, resolve conflicts, and create a positive work environment.

Communication skills involve both verbal and non-verbal communication. Verbal communication involves using clear and concise language, speaking confidently, and actively listening to the other person's response. Non-verbal communication involves using body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice to convey your message. Effective communication involves using both verbal and non-verbal communication to convey your message clearly and avoid misunderstandings.

Active listening involves paying attention to the other person, asking questions, and reflecting back what they've said. It involves being present in the conversation and showing that you value the other person's input. By actively listening, you can build stronger relationships with clients, customers, and employees and create a culture of open communication and collaboration.

Habit #7: Take Risks and Embrace Failure as a Learning Opportunity

The Importance of Taking Risks and Learning from Failure

One of the most important traits of highly confident female professionals is the ability to take risks and embrace failure as a learning opportunity. Taking risks is necessary for growth and innovation. However, it can also be scary and intimidating. By embracing failure as a learning opportunity, female entrepreneurs can develop resilience, learn from their mistakes, and ultimately achieve success.

Taking risks involves stepping outside of your comfort zone and trying something new. It means being willing to fail and to learn from your mistakes. Female leaders who are willing to take risks and push the boundaries are more likely to succeed in the competitive world of business. By taking calculated risks, you can innovate, differentiate yourself from your competitors, and create new opportunities.

Embracing failure as a learning opportunity involves reframing your mindset. Rather than seeing failure as a negative experience, successful female entrepreneurs view it as a necessary step in the learning process. By analyzing their failures and identifying the lessons learned, they are able to improve their decision-making, refine their strategies, and ultimately achieve their goals.

Habit #8: Practice Self-Care for a Healthy Mind and Body

The Importance of Self-Care

Self-care is an essential habit for anyone wanting to maintain a healthy mind and body. Starting and running a business can be incredibly demanding, and it is easy to get caught up in the day-to-day operations and neglect your own needs. However, neglecting self-care can lead to burnout, stress, and decreased productivity. By prioritizing self-care, female leaders can maintain their mental and physical health and ultimately perform better in their business endeavors.

Practicing self-care involves taking breaks, eating well, and getting enough sleep. By taking breaks throughout the day, female entrepreneurs can recharge their batteries and maintain their focus and productivity. Eating well and fueling your body with nutritious foods is also essential for maintaining energy levels and staying healthy. Additionally, getting enough sleep is crucial for mental and physical well-being. Female entrepreneurs who prioritize their self-care are better equipped to handle the demands of entrepreneurship and achieve success in their business endeavors.

Habit #9: Delegate Tasks to Maximize Efficiency

The Benefits of Delegating

Delegating tasks is a crucial habit to maximize efficiency and focus on high-priority work. As an entrepreneur, it is easy to fall into the trap of feeling like you have to do everything yourself. However, taking on too much work can lead to decreased productivity and burnout. By delegating tasks to other team members or outsourcing work, female leaders can free up their time and focus on the aspects of their business that require their expertise and attention.

Delegating tasks also allows female entrepreneurs to build a strong team and foster a culture of trust and collaboration within their organization. It empowers team members to take on new responsibilities and develop new skills, which ultimately benefits the business as a whole. Effective delegation also allows female entrepreneurs to prioritize their workload and focus on high-priority tasks that require their attention, rather than getting bogged down by small, low-priority tasks.

Habit #10: Seek Out Mentorship or Coaching for Business Success

The Importance of Mentorship

Seeking out mentorship or coaching is a critical habit for highly confident women entrepreneurs who want to achieve business success. While entrepreneurship can be an incredibly rewarding experience, it can also be challenging and isolating. By seeking out mentorship or coaching from experienced professionals or business leaders, female entrepreneurs can gain valuable insights, guidance, and support to help them navigate the ups and downs of entrepreneurship.

A mentor or coach can provide female entrepreneurs with a fresh perspective on their business, help them identify blind spots, and offer advice and feedback on areas of improvement. They can also share their own experiences and lessons learned, helping female entrepreneurs avoid common pitfalls and mistakes. Additionally, mentorship or coaching can provide female entrepreneurs with a sense of accountability and motivation, helping them stay on track and achieve their goals.

In conclusion, these ten daily habits of highly confident women entrepreneurs can help you stay focused, productive, and motivated as you build your business. By setting daily goals, practicing self-care, building relationships with other entrepreneurs, taking risks, and seeking mentorship or coaching, you can overcome obstacles, learn from failure, and achieve success.

If you're a female entrepreneur who wants to take your business to the next level, I invite you to check out my coaching services. As an experienced business coach, I can provide personalized guidance, accountability, and support to help you achieve your goals and reach your full potential. With a complimentary coaching session, we can discuss your business objectives and explore how coaching can help you get there. So why not take the first step towards success today? Book your free coaching session with me and see how I can help you on your journey towards becoming a highly successful female leader.

3 Things That Affect Your Self-Worth

trista@iwokeupawesome.com (Trista Polo) — Wed, 03 May 2023 15:45:03 GMT

Keep Your Eye Out for These 3 Things That Can Affect Your Self-Worth

Self-worth is the key to whatever you want in life coming to you. You can pray, write goals, create vision boards, read books, work on yourself. But the bottom line is if you don't BELIEVE you deserve all the best life has to offer then that's what you'll get...whatever you DO believe you deserve.

Here are 3 things that can really impact what you believe you deserve - or your self-worth. Keep an eye out for these 3 things because they can really sneak up on you!

Your past memories and how you were treated

If you give ANY validity to your past experiences in what you are worth, your life will be an uphill battle. As long as you are fighting your past you can't be fully in love with your present. That includes how you see yourself. When you were young...

Did someone in your life tell you that you were worthless?

Did someone do something to make you feel unsafe or unprotected?

Did someone hurt you physically or emotionally with bullying?

As we are growing up we have to navigate many challenges ... no matter how great our parents were. We all have those moments - defining moments - in time that can change us forever. We decide something in that moment and we live with that decision for the rest of our lives.

Your past moments may be running your present. I recommend tuning into your past with the support of someone that can help you process what you see. A coach, therapist, Shaman...whatever your preference. It can feel scary, but I promise you that you are safe, perfect and powerful with nothing needing fixing or changing. And your past doesn't determine your worth.

The way you talk to yourself

Would you be friends with someone that talked to you the way you talk to yourself?

Better yet, would you have any friends if you talked to others the way you talk to yourself?

Check in today and listen to your thoughts - are they filled with love, acceptance and kindness? Or judgement, criticism and blame?

Transform this ONE THING and you have shifted to a new path toward high self-worth.

The way you react when other people win

What happens to you the split second after you find out someone you know has won at life? Are you happy for them or are you mad at them? I don't mean 1 minute after you hear I mean the split second when you got the news. That reaction is visceral and it's a great indicator of your worth. If you don't think you deserve to win at life, then you will never believe others do either. Their winning only proves you are losing.

As you shift your self-worth you can use this as a great litmus test of your progress.

Discovering Your Self-Worth Despite Challenging Circumstances

trista@iwokeupawesome.com (Trista Polo) — Wed, 26 Apr 2023 15:41:40 GMT

Discovering Your Self-Worth Despite Challenging Circumstances

Does life seem to be a struggle for you? Do you feel overwhelmed and frustrated much of the time? Do you wish you could experience something better? Fortunately, you can enjoy the exciting life you deserve.

Success is available to you despite challenging circumstances. It's important to remember, also, that your self-worth is not defined by your circumstances.

What holds you back? Take some time today to question the beliefs you hold that limit your potential. If you look at a challenging circumstance as a wall that's impossible to climb, you need a fresh perspective. Within you is everything you need to thrive and excel. The more you question the validity of your limiting beliefs, the more success you'll experience in your life.

Think of a circumstance in your life that you believe is preventing you from something you want. Write it down, then get ready to challenge that limiting belief. If you do, you'll begin to move toward the success you deserve.

Use these strategies to maintain a positive self-worth, regardless of your circumstances:

1. Find the cause. What is the cause of the circumstance in your life? Sometimes, limiting beliefs can serve as warning signs that help you avoid danger. What can you learn from this so you avoid triggering a similar situation in the future?

* If the cause of your situation is unclear, ask friends and family for their input. Others see your life from a different perspective, and their input can be valuable in determining the root of your difficulty.

2. Get past the blame game. You can often be your own worst critic. Fortunately, negative self-talk often has very little basis in reality. Choose to replace the doubts of your inner critic with more productive thinking.

* Once a negative thought has taught you its intended lesson, it has served its purpose. If you choose to hold onto those negative thoughts, they will begin to form a negative self-image in your mind. This unbalanced view of your talents and strengths holds you back.

* Instead of dwelling on negative thoughts about your circumstances, learn the lesson and resolve to move on. Find out what you can do differently to avoid a repeat of your present situation. Then, when negative thoughts enter your mind, choose to replace your self-talk with productive thoughts instead.

3. Cut yourself some slack. Recognize that you're human. Everyone makes mistakes, but your attitude determines your altitude in life. You are valuable regardless of your present predicament. You are worthwhile even when you slip up or falter. Your circumstances simply provide feedback and an opportunity to learn and grow.

4. Make the most of it. When you recognize that you're valuable despite your circumstances, you'll begin to make the most of every opportunity. Stumbling blocks you face can become stepping stones to the success you deserve, simply by changing what you focus on.

* Instead of feeling helpless, ask yourself: "What's great about this?" Every situation provides something of value if you look for it.

5. Ask for help. Loved ones and friends often see strengths in you that go without notice. Ask them what they believe your strengths are. This is where your self-worth is found. Everyone has something of value to contribute.

* Once you recognize your unique talents, gifts, and abilities, you'll see life in a whole new way. You'll seek opportunities to use your talents to bless others. You'll gain confidence that comes from conquering challenges that once made you cringe.

* Instead of allowing your circumstances to dictate who you are, you'll make the rules!

6. Live one day at a time. Despite your best efforts, some days simply provide one frustration after another. When this happens, you have a choice. You can let your circumstances defeat you, or you can choose a more positive perspective.

Resolve today to find your strengths, learn from your difficult circumstances, and experience the joy you were created to experience. Instead of tying your self-worth to your circumstances, choose to see things as they really are. You were created with unique talents and gifts. When you find those gifts within yourself and put them to use, you'll know how valuable you truly are.

9 Ways to Enhance Self-Love

trista@iwokeupawesome.com (Trista Polo) — Wed, 19 Apr 2023 23:05:32 GMT

9 Ways to Enhance Self-Love

"If you can't love yourself, how in the hell are you going to love somebody else? Can I get an amen up in here?" - RuPaul

If you want to show unconditional love to anyone else, you need to show yourself love first. Self love impacts your health, longevity, self-esteem, self-confidence, and success. It also affects your relationships as well.

In this pandemic it's becoming even more apparent to me...when I'm feeling good about myself I have more patience, affection and kindness toward everyone (especially my husband). When I'm feeling doubtful of my own worth, my performance or my place in the world some how my husband is more annoying and does more things to upset me. LOL Coincidence? Nope.

So here are some great ways to discover greater self-love:

1. Remember your victories. View yourself in a positive light more often. One of the easiest ways to do this is to remember your triumphs. Maybe you hit a home-run and won the game in 5th grade. Remember your high school graduation day. Think about that time you received a promotion.

◦ Most people spend plenty of time remembering their failures. Try doing the opposite for a month and see what happens! Level it up: Write them down.

2. Volunteer. Volunteering is a great way to boost your self-esteem. Put your attention on someone else. You’ll enjoy the mental break, and your opinion of yourself will get a boost. You’re a good person, so remind yourself of that from time to time.

◦ Volunteering can mean making a difference in an organization or it can mean calling a friend you have been out of touch with to see how their doing and if they need any support in this pandemic. These days we could all use some kindness.

3. Be a good friend. You know how to be a good friend, but there are times that you’re not. Being a good friend makes you feel good about yourself. It will also improve the way your friends view and treat you, too. Everyone wins when you decide to be a good friend. Calling a friend you have been out of touch with to see how their doing and if they need any support in this pandemic. These days we could all use some kindness.

4. Forgive yourself. You’ve made a few mistakes. Who hasn’t? However, it’s time to forgive yourself. Give yourself a break. You would do the same for someone you care about, so do it for yourself.

5. Pursue what you need rather than what you want. What you want is rarely what you need. Once you’ve taken care of your needs, you’ll be in a better position to acquire what you want. Satisfying your needs is a prime example of self-love. Start small if you must - a big glass of water, a stretch or some time in nature will do wonders for your physical and mental space.

6. Get in shape. Take care of your body. When you’re eating poorly and not getting enough exercise, you’re harming yourself. Obviously, this isn’t a good example of self-love. Show yourself that you take your health seriously. You’re loving yourself every time you eat a healthy meal or exercise your body.

7. Appreciate your uniqueness. We tend to be embarrassed about our qualities, skills, or abilities that are unique. However, the most valuable parts of you are those that are different from others.

8. Practice gratitude. Be grateful for your body, mind, and uniqueness. Be grateful for everything in your life. Your life is better than you think. You are better than you think. Be grateful, and you’ll start to believe that you deserve more love from yourself.

9. Be as kind to yourself as you would be to anyone else. To be kinder to others than you are to yourself is just showing everyone, including yourself, that you don’t respect yourself. At the end of the day, there’s no one looking out for you. You’ll have to take on this responsibility yourself.

Self-love is an important part of your self-development. Without self-love, your success and happiness face a huge obstacle.

Self-love is a skill that can be developed. It’s also the result of an effective set of habits. Set aside some time each day to build your self-esteem and self-love. Your life will be better for it.

If you want support in this journey, check out the Self Worth Assessment and Mini Course for great tools to level up your self-worth and self love.

8 Tips to Boost Confidence at Work

trista@iwokeupawesome.com (Trista Polo) — Thu, 13 Apr 2023 01:14:03 GMT

8 Tips to Boost Confidence At Work

Are you working at home or in an office these days? Working for yourself or a boss? No matter what your work environment, now more than ever it can help to have a confidence boost throughout the day. Here are 8 ways for a quick and effective boost to your confidence.

1. Cut out negative self-talk.

A positive mentality will help you learn more easily and ultimately help boost your confidence. When you find yourself speaking negatively or criticizing yourself, immediately switch it to something positive, instead.

● For example, instead of criticizing your lack of knowledge about something, tell yourself: It’s great that I can learn what I need quickly and easily so that tasks like these become a cinch to do!

● Instead of saying, “I can’t,” ask yourself, “How can I?” This takes your focus off of the negative and puts it in the realm of the positive. In this mode, you may come up with the solution you need to enable you to do the thing that you thought you couldn’t.

2. Increase your knowledge.

When you take the time to learn a new skill or piece of knowledge, you can be certain that what you’re doing is correct.

● You may want to look at online courses, or perhaps attend a seminar, designed to enhance your skills.

● Watch what others in your workplace do successfully and try to copy them.

3. Practice makes progress.

Always do your best. Create a final product you can be proud of. Spending some extra time and effort tweaking a project to finish it off with excellence will give your confidence a boost.

● If excellence feels out of reach, a quick well-being break may be just what you need. Take a quick walk around the block or just stand and stretch to get your energy moving.

4. Offer help to someone else.

Reaching out to a member of your team to ask if they need help will not only help the person but it will help your confidence as well. Knowing you did good for someone else and even receiving gratitude is quite effective to give your confidence a bump.

● As Joey from Friends says, there are no selfless acts. =)

5. Increase your skill.

Take a break from work and watch a video, listen to a podcast or read a bit of a book that will help increase your skill, mindset or motivation. This can energize you and make you feel better about yourself and your abilities.

6. Focus on your past successes.

Take a 10 minute break to write an "I Did It" list. Set a timer for 10 minutes and on a blank piece of paper write down a list of every accomplishment you can think of (big and small). Getting out of bed and showing up for work can be the first one on your list if you're having trouble getting started. Challenge yourself to fill the page before the timer goes off.

7. Act confidently.

If you’re approaching a new task, or perhaps an entirely new job, then chances are you won’t know exactly what needs to be done. In these situations, it’s completely normal to feel under-confident. However, if you act confidently and put on a positive frame of mind, you may surprise yourself.

● Using the super hero stance for 2 minutes will help you achieve this.

8. Have fun.

Taking yourself too seriously in the workplace will leave your self-esteem in tatters when you encounter setbacks. Of course, you want to be good at your job, but this does not mean that you need to be serious 100% of the time.

● You are allowed to have fun and doing so will allow you to laugh at yourself and any mistakes you make.

A little extra confidence can go a long way toward helping you reach your career goals. Which of these tips will you try next time your confidence needs a little boost?

12 Signs That You’re Doing Better Than You Think

Wed, 05 Apr 2023 16:00:01 GMT

12 Signs That You’re Doing Better Than You Think

Did you know it takes the typical business 3 months to see results from the business-building efforts they are making today? That can really make it hard to know if you're making any progress. You can look at your current results but they actually tell the story of the past...how well you were doing 3 months ago. Now this is valuable information, to be sure...it helps you tweak what you're doing for the results you'll get in 3 months.

So how can we tell if we're doing better than think we are? Progress can be hard to see sometimes unless you’re looking in the right places for it.

If you feel like you’re working hard with little to show for it, look for these positive signs to know you're on the right track :

1. You learn the lesson that each mistake and failure provide. If you can learn something from every failure and mistake, it won’t take long before you’re incredibly successful. Most people repeat their errors over and over. They avoid failure and mistakes thinking they are a bad thing. But each failure is an opportunity to learn. Consider it a seminar in the subject you bungled, take the lessons and move on the wiser for it.

2. You’re clear on what you want. This can be half the battle. You have a huge advantage over the competition if you know what you want. Most people are aimlessly floating through life. If you have a goal or vision and know what you are working toward, you're going to take actions toward the goal. If you don't know what you want then any road will get you there.

3. You spend your time wisely. Spend your time well and good things happen. Spend your time poorly and your life will be a train wreck. When deciding what you’re going to do next, ask yourself what the best use of your time would be. Then, do it. I find some good rules of thumb are, "Schedule it and it gets done" and "To Do Lists Avoid the Don't Dos."

4. You’re taking consistent, daily actions that you know lead to positive results. Consistent progress is a great sign. Even if you feel like you’re lightyears from your goal, all you need is regular progress. One tip for goal setting is to have a short-term goal, mid-term goal and long-term goal in place. This way you have something you can accomplish in a month's time, 6 month's time and a year's time. You'll know you're on track toward your long-term goal if you are hitting your short and mid-term goals. Having coaching or support when making your goals will ensure they are realistic and detailed enough to be effective.

5. You’re consistent in your efforts. Successful people put in some work on a daily basis. Success isn’t about working really hard for a day here and there. Being consistent in your efforts also means that you’re sticking to your goals. Working for a week on one goal and then changing your mind and working on something else is a path to nowhere.

6. You’re not alone. There are people that insist if they want something done right they have to do it themselves. They believe others deserve help and support but not them. I know because I used to be one of them. Now that I have built a team of awesome and smart people around me I get more done and have more fun. Better yet - I can see the progress and success of others, which is so inspiring!

7. You choose to be positive and optimistic most of the time. Mindset is so important. We all have bad days, it's part of the deal. But you can choose how to frame EVERY situation. So do you tend to find the positive or negative in situations that occur throughout the day? Finding things to be positive, grateful and happy about raises your energy and your mood. Conversely, when your expectations are low, you quickly become stuck, because you believe your efforts will be a waste of time.

8. You’re determined. Commitment is a great sign that you’re going places. Good things happen when you’re determined.

9. You’re not worried about the opinions of others. If you care too much about what others think, you’ll prefer to play it safe, and you won’t do anything significant. You can leave them and their opinions in the dust behind you! Those people whose opinions worry you? They won't pay for your bills or your funeral, so why let them have a say in how you live your life? Truth be told, they probably aren't thinking about you much anyway because they have their own problems to worry about. Your thoughts about how they feel about you are YOUR thoughts....not theirs. That one will catch you on the way home. ;-)

10. You have a dry, warm place to sleep. If you’ve ever had to go without this, you know how nice this is. I read recently about a guy that was in his car on the side of the road and a snow plow plowed him into a snow bank. He was there, in his car for 5 days with no way out. It was the insulation of the snow around him that saved his life, igloo style. I mean...you could be THAT guy!

11. You have a steady income, whatever the size. A steady income is a great thing. Many people either can’t find work or are unable to maintain employment. Even if you’re earning less than you’d like, it’s a lot better than earning nothing at all. And today, there are a zillion side hustles, freelance opportunities and home-based businesses that have opportunities for people willing to hustle.

12. You have your health. If you’re basically healthy, you have a huge leg up on a lot of people. Good health is a huge blessing.

If you’re clear on what you’re trying to accomplish, and you’re spending your time wisely, you’re doing quite well. This is true even if the results haven’t revealed themselves yet. You deserve all the best life has to offer and you were created with the ability to achieve it! I hope this list has given you a look at all the ways you ROCK! If it didn't, you could have another underlying struggle going on, that I can help you with. Check it out here .

Which of the list above resonated most with you? Please share with me in the comments.

DADS MUD with Sheldon Neal, on Trista's PL8STORY Podcast

trista@iwokeupawesome.com (Trista Polo) — Sun, 08 May 2022 19:47:27 GMT

DADS MUD with Sheldon Neal of Irvine CA on Trista's PL8STORY Podcast

This week we meet Sheldon Neal from Irvine, CA. His vanity plate story was featured in an LA Times article, chosen from thousands of entries. He’s a retired IT Project Manager who fills his time now with working on cars, lawn bowling and exploring the beautiful areas of the California coast. Sheldon grew up on a farm and shares some fascinating information about how farming has changed since his childhood. He also shares how a physical trait played a role in his self-worth growing up and led him to realizing one important thing we all share. This gave him self-confidence and I think you will agree, a good life.

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Full Episode Transcript:

DADS MUD

[00:00:00] Trista, Host: Welcome to this week's episode of Trista's PL8STORY (Plate Story) Podcast. I'm Trista Polo from iwokeupawesome.com and I am your host. Each week, we learn the story behind that vanity plate. You know, the one you saw driving down the road... what did it say? What did it mean? Why did they choose it?

This week we meet Sheldon Neil from Irvine, California. His vanity plate story was featured in an LA times. Article chosen from thousands of entries. He's a retired it project manager who fills his time now with working on cars, lawn bowling, and exploring the beautiful areas of the California coast with his wife.

Sheldon grew up on a farm and share some fascinating information about how farming has changed since his childhood. He also shares how a personal physical trait played a role in his self-worth growing up and led them to realizing one important thing. We all share. This gave him self-confidence and I think you will agree from hearing his story a good life.

We'll speak with Sheldon in a moment, but first I have some exciting news to share. I have been chosen by Facebook to be a digital creator. If you don't already, I invite you to follow me there for lots of great short form video content about self-worth positive mindset and plenty of laughs. As of this recording, I'm the only Trista polo on Facebook. So I should be easy enough to find.

In the meantime, let's go meet Sheldon and hear the story behind his vanity plate. Dad's mud.

[00:01:34] Trista Polo: Welcome to this week's episode of Trista's plate story podcast. I'm here with Sheldon Neal. His plate is DADS MUD. He's from Irvine, California. Welcome Sheldon. Great to have. Yeah, absolutely. So DADS MUD. Now this is a plate that was featured in the LA TIMES article. So why don't you start by telling us a little about your plate and then we'll get into your experience in the article.

[00:02:02] Sheldon Neal: I grew up in central Illinois and there, most of the four wheel and you do is either snow or mud. So after I moved to California, still enjoy doing a lot of four wheel drive stuff, but did a lot of mud. Also, we were camping up in Big Bear one weekend when my younger son was probably seven or eight years old.

And so we had done a lot of trails during the day and throwing a lot of mud up on the truck. And as a Pathfinder. And so when he got back to camp, he went up to the fender and scratched in "my dad's mud" in the mud that was on the fender. Well, I, I saw it and I kinda got on him about, I said, you know, you shouldn't be doing that.

You'll scratch the paint, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So once we got home from that trip, I was washing the Pathfinder yang. I saw pinstriping scratches all down the side of it from driving through brush and stuff. So then I felt kind of guilty that I had gotten on him about it. So that's when I ordered the DADS MUD plate.

And it's. Been with me ever since that was probably 96. Maybe . And this is now the third vehicle I've had it on. So

[00:03:12] Trista Polo: awesome. And how old was he at the time? He was

[00:03:16] Sheldon Neal: seven or eight. Right.

It's something that I ordered, just so just to kind of ease his pain and let him know that I wasn't really angry about it, that it could all in good stride.

[00:03:31] Trista Polo: And that's great. That's great. Did you do a lot of those kinds of trips with your families?

[00:03:36] Sheldon Neal: Yeah, we did a lot. we would do mostly like tent camping probably once or twice a month when they were growing up. We run the boy Scouts, so we did hiking backpacking did a 20 mile hike with the boy Scouts one day. But then we've always had a four wheel drive. Of some sort. So we, we like going out, exploring in the mountains in the desert and you know, you can see a lot of things out there if you're, if you're willing to drive into hike that you won't see anywhere else.

And a cool, because now of course, both my sons are, are adults. They're like mid thirties, but they still enjoy going out camping and hiking. And, you know, so that's, that's been kind of a lifelong gift to them. Sure. Well,

[00:04:22] Trista Polo: that's great. Your vanity plate? His DADS MUD, but that's not the only vanity plate you have.

Is it?

[00:04:28] Sheldon Neal: No, I actually, I got four vehicles and all of them have some significance to their plate.

[00:04:35] Trista Polo: Well, we have to talk about that. So tell me about your other vanity

[00:04:37] Sheldon Neal: plates. Okay. So the I've got a Jeep Cherokee that The plate is KM6 Z M J, which is my ham radio license, my ham radio call sign. So the state of California lets you do that one for free.

If you've got your ham license and then I've got two other vehicles as 73 Chevy Vega and a 67 Nissan patrol. The vague I have EEK VEGA. And then the patrol is EEK PATROL and the long story around that goes back to early sixties in HRA drag racing, where the Chrysler Hemi was, was kind of the king of the drag strip.

And it was a large motor. So they called it an elephant motor. Along came the small block Chevy and NHR kind of changed their weight guidelines and that sort of thing. And small blocks should be made a lot of power for it sized. So it started winning at the drag strip. So they started calling it a mouse motor and especially Grumpy Jenkins was, was world famous for winning with the mouse motor.

He was the first one that actually put one in and won a lot of races in it. So they. The reason they came up with that is what's the only thing an elephant is afraid of is a mouse, right? So the hammies were afraid of the small black Chevrolet and in the Vega and in the patrol, I've got a small block Chevrolet in each of those.

So I call them EEK patrol because there was a mouse in it,

[00:06:09] Trista Polo: Eek a mouse. That's very clever. That's very clever. Cause you're into cars.

[00:06:17] Sheldon Neal: Yeah. I've heard that all my lives. Yeah.

[00:06:21] Trista Polo: Yeah. Very cool. I want to talk about the history of vanity plates in your family, because you sent me some pictures and you had this original plate, so I'll include a picture of it and the video version, but tell us a little bit about the history of vanity plates in your family.

[00:06:39] Sheldon Neal: And this was in the early seventies in Illinois. All automobiles, their plates ran two letters and then four numbers and trucks would run five numbers. And then the, the weight classification in a letter dad always had trouble remembering his license plate. So mom, you could, you could special order as long as it was in that same sequence.

So mom ordered Jan 2, 4 0 3, because he was called junior Neal and then 2 43 was the last four digits of their telephone. 7 3 6 2, 4 0 3. So he could finally remember his plate because it was junior Neil to 4 0 3, which was also funny because he was called junior. He and I used to bowl in a lot of tournaments together, you know, and so you'd go to sign in and they'd see.

Okay. Sheldon Neil junior, Neil. And then they'd always look at me and say, junior, what's your average. And I'd go now. He's the junior I'm I'm the Sheldon.

[00:07:43] Trista Polo: I love that. There's a history of vanity plates and license. Well, specialized plates, I guess. I don't know if you would call that vanity plates because I know vanity plates, weren't always a thing.

And this sounds like this was before vanity license plates became available.

[00:07:57] Sheldon Neal: And I actually had a truck at the time that I had a 683 9 B, which I lived in a town called D land and the zip code, there was 6 1 8 3 9. So just something else. And then when I moved to California, I had SMNEAL as my plate, which I, I didn't keep, I should've kept that.

[00:08:22] Trista Polo: Cause your middle initial is, is M

[00:08:25] Sheldon Neal: which growing up I didn't care for. But then as I got to be older, my grandpa who lived in Kentucky was Mort Allan now. Dad was just Mort Neal. That's where he got the junior. When he went into the army, he had to pick a middle name.

So he just picked junior. So it became Mort junior Neal. I'm Sheldon Morton, Neal and my older son is Matthew Morton Neil. So we've got four generations now of Mort

[00:08:51] Trista Polo: well, I actually worked for a Mort when I was w it was my first job out of college. I worked in this very high powered, busy brokerage office in the city where I near where I live.

And he was the nicest guy, just like huge heart, really, really great guy. He has since passed away. But the MOrt the name Mort means something to me as well. So I'm glad you shared what your middle initial was for. Yeah, that's very cool. So you definitely earned the right to be in a vanity license plate article, right?

Because of your vanity license plate and your, your specialized license plate history, but they probably didn't know that about you. So how did you end up being in this article?

[00:09:41] Sheldon Neal: Is hooked up with the LA times on Twitter. So he he's on their Twitter feed. And one of the journalists there who was actually a summer intern she's in college back east, somewhere Boston, I think. But she sent out a tweet that said I'm doing you know, arts and lifestyle article on vanity plates.

If you know of anyone. That, that has an interesting plate, you know, hook me up and we'll, and we'll talk. And my son's like, oh yeah, I get, I got your guy. For sure. So yeah, I emailed her and talked with her a couple of times and then she thought it was pretty interesting and we set up the photo shoot and did that at a little park in Placentia

Yeah, it was kind of interesting. I think it came out in November. Like the first part of maybe

[00:10:32] Trista Polo: yeah. November of 2021 is when it came out.

That's right. How has it been for you since the article came out? I mean, obviously I reached out to you as a result of the article. Have you had any other connections or contacts or opportunities as a result?

[00:10:47] Sheldon Neal: Nothing really serious. I've had guy that lose down the alley. I was actually out working on my truck and.

He's lived there almost as long as I have. He just thought and said, I saw your article in the, in the LA times and that's pretty neat. And then also somebody at lawn bowling club had seen it. And so we talked about at some that's really been about it and I think. Well, and, and I sent it to my sister and she was pretty excited about it.

[00:11:19] Trista Polo: yeah, it's pretty cool. I mean, listen, the LA times has millions of followers and a huge reader base. So it's, it's pretty cool. I don't know if that's quite all of your 15 minutes of fame, but you know, it's probably a couple of seconds worth anyway. That's

[00:11:33] Sheldon Neal: what I'm counting on. Yeah. This is like a minute.

I still got 14 left to use up. Right.

[00:11:41] Trista Polo: Exactly exactly. Now you mentioned lawn bowling. You're retired now, right? Yes.

[00:11:49] Sheldon Neal: Yes.

[00:11:49] Trista Polo: But you keep very busy.

[00:11:51] Sheldon Neal: Yes. Yeah. I like to there's just so much, so much fun stuff to do.

[00:11:56] Trista Polo: There's so much to do. You just don't even have time for all the fun stuff. There is. So lawn bowling, I know is one of the things you do, but I didn't know what that was when we first spoke.

So can you tell us what is lawn bowling?

[00:12:09] Sheldon Neal: It's similar to botchy ball. So you have. Lawn bowl which is a little bit bigger than a softball, maybe about that size. So you'll, you'll have four of those as a set and then you have a little white ball that's called the Jack. So you, you roll the white ball down to the to a spot at the other end.

And then essentially you're just rolling your bowls, trying to get them closest to the Jack. Now. And bace ball. I think they roll pretty straight. So you can try and make changes in lawn bowls. They actually have a bias built into them. So, so as it's rolling down and it starts to slow down, it'll turn one way or the other and they have different biases built into them.

So you can, you can buy a set of bowls that has, you know, very minimal bias where you can buy one. That'll really go sideways at the end and depending on, cause you can. Usually play either two people to a team or three people to a team. So depending on where you're playing, having a stranger bowl or our larger bias full can be advantageous.

If you're rolling first, you know, having the straight ball where you can just kind of go straight to the Jack is, is more advantageous. But if you're now rolling third, you know, and you've already got. What 16 bowls out there in the way. So now you may have to have a larger bias full, so you can kind of look around them and work your way back in.

So it's, it's fascinating game and, you know, very, very simple initially, but getting good at it is, is very difficult. I grew up doing, doing 10 pin bowling a lot, cause in winters in Illinois, you know, there's not a lot else to do. So for me, the biggest thing was, you know, I was, was figuring out what they call the weight, which is how far the bowl is actually gonna go, you know, cause you're on a contained course.

So I was always throwing it into the other end. It took me a long time to figure out how to throw the weight properly, but the place we play is in Laguna beach. And it's on, on a bluff overlooking the ocean. So it's just right on the California Riviera. So it's a beautiful place to play. And the people there are really friendly and nice.

So, I mean, it's just a very, a very pleasant thing to do.

[00:14:27] Trista Polo: That sounds like a lot of fun. And you're in the kind of weather that it, you can probably play all these.

[00:14:34] Sheldon Neal: Yeah, right after a rain, sometimes the grounds will be too wet to play, but, and then of course, if it gets below 60, we complain about how cold it is. We can, we can

[00:14:48] Trista Polo: being in New York. I'm just going to let that one go right by.

So you are retired, you're retired from it. Right? Tell us a little about what you did when you were working.

[00:15:01] Sheldon Neal: So I started out as a programmer. I'm actually writing assembler code way back in the day.

And then just sort of advanced through the rag ranks up through system analysts. And they got into project manager and then a manager. And it was, it was great fun most of the time, but as, as time went on What happened was as a project manager, they had the technology to automate delivery of, of a lot of things like databases and servers and that sort of thing.

So I got to where the, the technician delivering it could push a button and pretty much have your server ready, you know, within an hour which was great for the customer, but for the person running the project. You know, they could, they could get things delivered before I could even write the project plan.

And so as a project manager, you just fall further and further and further behind So my job got to a point where I figured I had to get out of there and go somewhere else. And that's where I met with, with my financial planner. And I said, you know, I got to get out of this place to my looking for a new job, or am I retiring?

And he ran the numbers and he said, well, you know, it's your current spin rate. Assume a conservative investment return. You said you're, you're probably good for money till you're 95. And I thought, well, I'm, I'm willing to roll the dice on that one. I'll I'll take a chance,

[00:16:31] Trista Polo: right? That's great that you had that set up for yourself. And how old were you when you retired?

[00:16:38] Sheldon Neal: 61?

[00:16:41] Trista Polo: That's young to retire. Yeah. Especially these days. So I have to ask, what advice can you give people who are younger, who would like to not have to live out their life? Earning who would like to have a financial advisor say, I think you can actually retire. Now, what advice would you give? Because clearly you made some good choices along the way.

[00:17:04] Sheldon Neal: I mean like everyone says, you know, to start are like, oh, Which I did not. And, and never tap into your investments, which I didn't follow that either. So that's learned lessons

[00:17:18] Trista Polo: so, so far we still can mess it up and actually be able to retire, keep going.

[00:17:22] Sheldon Neal: I think the biggest thing, if you're, if you're working for a corporation, You all, almost all of them have matching funds.

Well, that's, that's just free money, you know? So there you're, you need to take advantage of that. But additionally, I think To do the study and not be afraid to invest on your own. I did a lot of study on the stock market and, you know, try it a lot of different methods to see what would actually work.

And in the long run, then I had pretty good success at investing in individual stocks. But I did read a lot about, you know, cause there there's. Different ways you can go about investing in the market. You can do, you know, value investing, which is where, when you do the research on a company and kind of find out, okay, Companies that are under priced, according to their value.

You can also look at more technical analysis, which is really just watching how the stock is behaving in the market and looking for trends where people are looking to buy that stock. I think either way works fine. You just have to kind of pick whatever method works best for you and then, and then manage your money.

Well, you know, there's, I think that's one of the bigger things is. If, if you invest in a stock and you see a start to go down, don't wait forever to get rid of it. You know, because as, as a stock falls you know, if a stock falls 10%, it's got gain 15% to get back up to zero. So you kind of lose track of that.

You know that as, as the stock loses value, it takes a lot more to get it back up. So cutting your losses quickly, I think is important. And then you add long, you know, the longer term you can do it the better. And I think the stock, market's a scary thing to a lot of people, which is why I say it's it's it's I think the more you can read and understand about it and understand the workings of it you can get more and more comfortable with it that in managing money, we don't take big losses, I think is the biggest.

[00:19:23] Trista Polo: That's really great advice. Do you still invest today or are you sorta just riding out the work you did in the past?

[00:19:30] Sheldon Neal: I'm sort of writing, I turned it over to the professionals, you know, so I've got God we're just invested in, in like mutual funds now. Although I did, I did buy apple just before it's split, just because I never had a stock split before.

So. So that was just fun.

[00:19:50] Trista Polo: So you're married. You have kids. Tell me about your wife. How did you meet what's that a meet? Cute. Since you're in LA area, we got to talk about the meet. Cute.

[00:20:00] Sheldon Neal: I grew up in central Illinois. On a farm, she grew up on the south side of Chicago. Her dad worked for the city. He was a carpenter for the city of Chicago.

So he had to live within the city confines within Chicago proper. So he lived in the farthest south, like the last street in the city proper before you hit suburbs. So she grew up there. She was married and moved out here, like in the late seventies. I think. I moved out here in 81. Went to programmer school, got a job doing programming.

There was a group of us that used to go out on Friday nights to bars and just kind of hang out. She was one of that group. I actually ended up working for her for a while. And then we started, there's a big racquetball club, you know, it was a part of our office play. And so I started playing racquetball with some of the people and one of the girls that was much better than I said, you know, I know somebody that's about the same level as you, you should, you two should play.

So she and I started playing racquetball together. And then. Afterwards, we would sit and talk for like an hour or two, and that just kind of evolved and evolved. And eventually got a little more romantic and I said, but you're married and her marriage hadn't been good for quite some time. So Patty eventually went away and then.

We got married and we're still at it. So that was

[00:21:37] Trista Polo: in your living happily ever

[00:21:39] Sheldon Neal: after. Yeah, that was in November of 85. We got married.

[00:21:46] Trista Polo: Awesome. And how is she also we're tired or she still works?

[00:21:52] Sheldon Neal: So she actually retired a year before I did And I had never really thought about retiring until I went to her retirement party. I'm sitting there going, Hmm, this is interesting.

And then in that year I got a new assignment that was got more and more difficult as, as it went. This is kind of the same thing when when she was, you know, at the point where you, you kind of dread Sunday afternoon because you know, you have to go back to work on Monday. So at that point, we met with our financial advisor and he said, yeah, you know, you're good.

And you know, as long as Sheldon continues working this long, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So yes, he retired. It's sad, but then yeah, a year later things had changed again. And we were able to pull it off.

[00:22:33] Trista Polo: So you do a lot of stuff you're keeping pretty active with your retirement.

Do you enjoy retirement together or do you kind of have your own things that you do?

[00:22:41] Sheldon Neal: Mostly together we do the lawn bowling lawn. Bowling is probably the most frequent. We used to travel a lot, but that's kind of been put on hold over the last couple of years. I like, I still like to do 10 pin bowling, which she does not like, and I was in a league up until the pandemic hit, but I, I haven't gotten back into that yet because that's all indoors.

Of course. We. I don't have, that's the only trips we've done the last couple of years. We've been up into wine country a couple of times, actually more than a couple four or five, like Napa Sonoma, and then Santa Barbara. You know, so just going up there, like for a week or so, and, and staying in a bed and breakfast, going to wineries, doing some hiking.

So we do a lot of.

[00:23:28] Trista Polo: Lovely.

So you mentioned a couple of times that you grew up in Illinois. And when we in, we had talked before this, that was a pretty interesting childhood. You were, you were on a farm, right? You grew up on a farm. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. So tell me a little about that.

[00:23:47] Sheldon Neal: So yeah, it was a corn and soybean farm. Most of the.

Lives outside of a little town called Weldon weldon's a town of like 450 people. That's what people used to call me, Sheldon from Weldon. But yeah, it was like I say, corn and soybeans.

I think one of the things that we talked about was, was the sort of the evolution of agriculture. Cause my, my dad grew up in Kentucky and Eastern Kentucky and they were, they were primarily tobacco farmers which was, you know, highly manual at the time. By the time he grew up, I think they had, had actually stopped growing tobacco on their farm, but they had a tobacco base that you could sell to another farmer so they could grow it, you know, in better ground kind of thing.

But when dad first moved up to Illinois, They were still picking corn by hand, you know, so you'd have a horse-drawn wagon that you'd walk in front of and snap off the ears of corn and throw them back into the, the wagon which then made you a very good softball pitcher and a very good horseshoe thrower because you had that two dad was always good at those also. But it was, as I was growing up, then we had a two row tractor drawn corn picker that would, would automatically, you know, pull the corn on the cob and throw it back into a wagon. And then we would load that into the corn crib that it would sit there for the winter and dry out.

Then you'd have paid people to come out and, and shell it off the cob and they'd take it to the grain elevator. Eventually that again, involved into what they call now, a combine, which, or actually at the time, dad called it a picker. Scheller because now you could go through with one machine that would take in four rows and pull it off on the cob and then actually shell the corn off and put that in a hopper and throw the cob out the back.

And I, I remember dad being so fascinated, you know, he could just stand there and watch that. And at the time, I don't think I really understood why it was so fascinating to him, but, but to be able to go from, you know, hand picking. To just driving this machine that now suddenly you're just dumping corn, shelled, corn into your truck to drive to the elevator was just such a leap technologically, I think for him that he remained fascinated by it.

And since I've left now with, with computers and GPS units and all those all sorts of sensors, they have Now going through the field on the combine, it's, it's measuring the yield as you go through and mapping that out on a field. So you can see where you've got, you know, higher yields, lower yields, and then adjust your fertilizer in the spring accordingly.

And the don't barely need to drive the tractors because they, a lot of them are GPS controlled, so they keep them sprayed on the row. Going to end up being like dad used to talk about the factory of the future, where I'm the only two living things in there will be a man and a dog and the man's there to feed the dog and the dog is there to make sure the man doesn't touch any of the equipment.

So that's

getting to, I think,

[00:27:08] Trista Polo: How much of the farming did you do growing.

[00:27:12] Sheldon Neal: Oh a lot. I was probably spending all day on a tractor from the time I was like 10 or 11 doing, doing more simple things there. There's, it's called Holden car and where you're just kind of driving up and down the rows when the corn's still pretty small.

So the amount of damage you can do is kind of minimal. When you get later in the year into the harvest, you know, then that's, that's more crucial operations. So I didn't really do a lot of that until I wasn't. Which I graduated high school, went off to college for a semester. I wasn't a very good student, so I went, moved to another college for another year and then worked as a mechanic for awhile and then came back and farm five more summers with dad, you know, as a mid 20 some any events.

Figured out that I wanted something else to do. You really have to love farming? I think to stay in it. I mean, it's a wonderful occupation if it's in your blood. But if not, it's, it's a lot of hard work which, you know, you need anything you're good at. There's a lot of hard work, but I just found some more interesting things.

Out here, especially in computers. Computer has always fascinated me. But yeah, and then all through growing up and we basically spend the summer walking beans cause you'd have soybeans. And the rows were 36 inches apart. When, when I was young, they eventually went to 30 inches. But during the summer you have to walk up and down the bean rows, cutting out weeds.

So we would spend from, I don't know, April or may through probably August when the beans would get up, you know, this tall and then start to tangle. So you end up doing more harm than good trying to walk through them. But. You spend most days out walking beans, and if you weren't walking beans, then you were mowing roadsides or, you know, doing something like that.

So, yeah, it was pretty constant working summer for sure. Yes. Yes. And dad always had probably a two or three acre garden. And so for awhile, I had a roadside stand set up that I would sell produce out of. And then on Saturday morning we would go We each had full-size pickup trucks.

So we would go out Saturday morning and pick sweetcorn cause he'd have like four acres of sweet corn. So we'd pick that and fill both pickup trucks full and then go down to Decatur and sell them at a farmer's market down there. And he always enjoyed that. Cause he, you know, gave him some, some time to show off his wares and interact with people.

He always liked that.

[00:29:43] Trista Polo: Very nice. Like you said, it's definitely a calling to take all of that on for sure. So one of the questions I always like to ask, because I do a lot of work with people that I work with on their self-worth is what, how has self-worth played a role in your life?

Growing up on a farm, going into something much more mind based than physical labor and now retiring early, how has self-worth played a role in your life?

[00:30:12] Sheldon Neal: I think growing up, as I mentioned to you last time I have, I have a small handicap. I've got a missing radius bone in my right arm. I think growing up in a largely physical based society with a handicap like that I don't know that that you're ever really conscious of it, but subconsciously you kind of feel like you're different.

So I think a lot of the ways I dealt with that back in my youth is that I would always kind of do more or, or. The funnier or more willing to take a risk or a drink more than the next guy to try and keep the attention away from, you know, the, the physical difference. And people would always say, you know, you, you think about it more than anybody else, which is, is absolutely true.

But it's different when you're in that spot. And I, you know, I did. Okay. Physically, I wasn't, I wasn't a good athlete, which, you know, small town like that, you know, star football player, star basketball player. They're, they're really the cool guys. Sure. That's

[00:31:18] Trista Polo: true in any place, not just a farming town,

[00:31:21] Sheldon Neal: But I could make people laugh.

So that, that kind of put me in a, in a different cool group. But then also got me in a lot of trouble sometimes, but yeah, you learn. But then I think you know, kind of wanting to strive for more we, we didn't grow up wealthy by any means. Like I, I always like to say I grew up a poor sharecropper's son and my wife kind of looks at me and goes what?

And I said, well, yeah, actually, you know, it was. Gave half the crop to the land owners and he took half of it, which is exactly what sharecropping is. And when I was born, he wasn't even a sharecropper. He was a hired man by the month.

So, yeah, when we were growing up, we didn't have a lot of money. There was one time, I don't know, I was probably seven or eight because I never really felt like we were poor until this moment. Mom bought me a straw cowboy hat at the mule barn in foresight and on the front of it, it said I may be poor, but at least I'm good-looking.

So, you know, I put this hat on and I looked up at mom, said, well, at least one of these things is true. And she's like now it's Sheldon on their book. And I was like, oh,

[00:32:28] Trista Polo: wait, I'm

[00:32:28] Sheldon Neal: poor. We are poor.

So I think that kind of, kind of pushed me to, to want to make some money somehow. So I occasionally would buy a, you know, Kind of thing off, out of the newspaper or off late night TV or that sort of thing, which none of those ever really panned out. But one, one consistent thing I saw in them is it would talk about, you know, getting your mind right.

To do this, you know, so whatever your scheme is, you have to be in kind of the right mind frame your mindset in order to be successful. And so then that sort of led to me, you know, reading more Self-help kind of books and, you know, pop psychology and that sort of thing. And I think that helped me build a lot of confidence and then just kind of trying some different things.

And then one day coming to the realization that virtually everyone is insecure. About something. And that, that kind of gave me a great comfort that, oh, I'm, I'm not the only one that is scared of doing stuff. Well, let's go try some more stuff then. And I think that then the more successes you have, you know, the more that just kind of snowballs.

And that's, that's been the case for me, you know, I've tried a lot of different things and had some success and, and have some failures, but then you just kind of say you know, I, I learned something from it. No. So that's what I would tell people on lawn bowling. I either won today or I learned something today.

You know, that's the only two results that come out of this. And so I think if you kind of approach everything with that sort of attitude, you know, you can, you can do some good things.

[00:34:13] Trista Polo: Yeah, I absolutely. You, you put that on top of anything and you'll end up successful because you won't quit from failure.

In fact, I would guess that's probably why you did well in the stock market. If you didn't make money on a stock, you learned something from that. And to get to the next investment and the next investment and ended up building, you know, a nice retirement for yourself. So, yeah, I think that's great to add to anything that you're doing in life.

Yeah, absolutely. That's awesome. Anything else you want us to know about you before we wrap up today?

[00:34:51] Sheldon Neal: What else I'm taking acting classes, which is fun.

And that's another thing too, you can under the covers to understand how the business works. I'm seeing that a lot now. I'm taking a screen act in class. And the teacher has worked a lot in the business, you know, so, so the way we, we do scenes and shoot them in class, and then he goes away for a week and they edit it and then, you know, shows us the scene afterwards.

It's, it's fascinating to learn how the process works. So I've been learning a lot about that. It's not always the first take.

[00:35:27] Trista Polo: That's right. I actually I've done a lot of improv acting, which I really enjoy.

It creates an opportunity for courage and the ability to just go with anything and help hold other people up. And you know, that whole say yes and see what happens. Yeah. Figure out how to deal with whatever happens next in the scene. I found that to be a lot of fun and it really stretched me as well.

[00:35:59] Sheldon Neal: I did a one evening improv workshop six months or so ago. It wore me out.

[00:36:06] Trista Polo: It is a little physical

[00:36:08] Sheldon Neal: yeah. Reacting back quickly. Yeah, that's part of what the teacher said. You know, that's part of the fun of it is I don't want you to think, you know, I want you to just react, but that's hard to do. That's something you have to train yourself to do. I think.

[00:36:22] Trista Polo: For sure if you spend too much time in your head, trying to think of the next thing to say, trying to be funny, trying to do it, then it will be terrible.

But if you let yourself go and just authentically trust the process and the rules of the game and whatever else is about to happen, and the other people that you're in the scene with, it can actually create some pretty magical stuff.

[00:36:45] Sheldon Neal: Yeah. You just got to get out of your own way.

[00:36:47] Trista Polo: That's exactly right.

Well, you're in the right town. You're in like right town to be able to pursue acting, even if it's just for fun and to explore it for your own internal and personal development.

Keeps you thinking and keeps your brain young that's for sure, right?

[00:37:05] Sheldon Neal: Yes. That's the goal.

[00:37:07] Trista Polo: Yeah. Awesome. Well, I always like to turn the table before we wrap up and see if you have a question for me.

Do you have a question you'd like to ask me before we finish up?

[00:37:17] Sheldon Neal: I am curious about, about your mechanism. So this is the story ran in the LA times. So how, how do you hook into that?

[00:37:28] Trista Polo: Well, I have had to be a little bit more creative since the pandemic, but it's a good kind of problem to have because instead of only finding plates in New York, I have had plates for almost all the states. I have a goal to have every state represented on, on the map for at least the U S. And so I have Google alerts for vanity plates and license plates, so I can stay up on what's going on.

That gets me access to additional people. And I've had interviews that were results of that. Certainly the LA times article. I use social media a lot. Instagram people will post themselves with their plates or tag somebody in the, in the picture.

I'm in a couple of Facebook groups where people post not only the plates they see, but also their own plates.

I really find vanity plates. Fascinating. I find the reasons behind why people choose them. Fascinating. So it's a fun hobby for me that always eventually ends up with a really cool conversation with an interesting person. Like I learned some great stuff today about, you know, your philosophy on investing and.

On the farming industry. Like I learned some very cool things today talking to you. So I really appreciate you being on and sharing your life story or at least a sliver of it.

[00:38:51] Sheldon Neal: Yeah. It's kind of fun for me to think back on those on those times.

[00:38:57] Trista Polo: Yeah, absolutely. And with that, I want to just say thank you so much, Sheldon for being on today and, and spending some time sharing a little bit about yourself and I wish you so much success.

Retirement, staying busy and lawn bowling and acting and all the fun stuff that you're into. I know that you shared with. When we spoke before that it turns out retirement is really your calling. Like you're really good at it. And it really is like what you've done best in your whole life

[00:39:30] Sheldon Neal: I've ever had.

[00:39:32] Trista Polo: Yes, exactly. And you would, you would endorse this as a career move for anyone, right?

Awesome. Well, I wish you and your wife all the best, enjoy time with your son and your grandchildren. And thank you so much for being on

[00:39:50] Sheldon Neal: sure thing. All right. Thank you.

[00:39:52] Trista, Host: Thanks for listening. Please subscribe to Trista's plate story podcast, share it, or leave a review. If you would like to nominate a license plate to be featured in a future episode or you have an interesting plate story news item to share with me, leave us a comment or visit plate story.com. That's P L number 8. story.com and give me all the details.

This is Trista polo wishing you well on the road to your next adventure.

HEADFILM - Plate 77 with "The Institute Writer/Director Hamza Zaman

trista@iwokeupawesome.com (Trista Polo) — Sun, 03 Apr 2022 18:55:54 GMT

HEADFILM - Plate 77 with "The Institute" Writer/Director Hamza Zaman

This week we meet "The Institute" writer and director, Hamza Zaman. Hamza has been passionate about creating stories for stage and screen since he was a teenager. He made that dream a reality when he founded Headless Films. His most recent independent film, "The Institute", a medical thriller was filmed in The Hudson Valley, NY. Hamza shares what it was like to create a movie during a Pandemic as well as his thoughts on the movie industry today. He also shares about his family and how much his wife, Chelsea Roth, has impacted his ability to follow his dreams. www.institutemovie.com Enjoy this episode and want to buy me a cup of coffee? https://www.buymeacoffee.com/pl8story

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Episode Transcript:

HEADFILM

Welcome to Trista's plate story podcast. I'm super excited for today's guest. The plate is HEADFILM. The plate owner is Hamza Zalman from the Catskills originally from the New York city area and relocated up during COVID welcome. Thanks for being with me today.

[00:00:40] Hamza Zaman: Thanks for having me. I appreciate it.

[00:00:42] Trista, Host: Yeah, I'm excited. So tell me first about your plate. Why did you choose HEADFILM?

[00:00:48] Hamza Zaman: Well, my production company and, and film companies called the Headless Films and apparently someone has HEADLESS out there for probably a macabre purpose. I'm not going to judge. And I thought that was the closest portmanteau for like a headless films and it just worked.

I've had some people tease me about it. Certain more salacious concepts that I was unaware of, but you know, I do, I make you know, standard, straightforward films without too much controversy. Okay. That's

[00:01:21] Trista, Host: good. Well, you know, the headless horseman is originally based out of the Westchester area, so it could be that that's why it's taken

yeah. So you make films you have a production company. How long have you done that?

[00:01:38] Hamza Zaman: I guess my first film was over a decade ago. And I've been writing for, you know, since I was a teenager, but in earnest we started making our own films probably in 2015 ish. So it's been about, you know, six, seven years, five, six years.

[00:01:55] Trista, Host: Yeah. That's awesome. I'm curious how you go from. Working on stuff to making it official . What was the hospice for that pivot that had you say I'm I'm doing this?

[00:02:10] Hamza Zaman: Well, like I said, I've been writing stories since I was a teenager, you know, always wanted to do it.

Never really got to sort of convert that I had a couple of abortive attempts and you know, it's just hard without the resource. So I went to college. Went to work, kind of did my whole, you know, traditional life journey. And then I met my current wife and producing partner and she was much more open to the kind of sacrifices and rigors that are needed to be able to take, you know, a good chunk of your time and then devoted to.

Not just writing the story, you know, that you can do pretty much alone, but then developing the production team around it shooting it itself and then doing all the post-production, which is, you know, editing the effects sound and, and then bringing it to market actually.

[00:02:57] Trista, Host: Yeah, it's a lot. It's a lot.

[00:02:59] Hamza Zaman: Traditional film, you, you, you kind of have the story, you cast it, you build a team together, you plan to production, you shoot it, which is usually a very compressed timeframe.

And then in post, you take all the time, you need to, you know, edit it, titling, you know, sound music VFX, you know, all that stuff. And that, depending on how. How much budget you have, how fast your team works and what the requirements are, can take a lot longer than definitely from production. Production is always the shortest time.

And then probably from pre-production as well.

[00:03:34] Trista, Host: Yeah, absolutely. Now I understand that there are kind of these days, too. Banks for film, you've got the super hero, blockbuster, $200 million film, and then the independent film. And it's hard to find stuff in the middle. So you work in more of the independent side, but I'd love to hear your take on that.

[00:03:56] Hamza Zaman: I think it's just, it's, it's two things, right? One. Putting together, the amount, like, you know, the budgets and the requirements for VFX and kind of the brands and all that come along with it. For those bigger movies have just become a lot more expensive, you know, talent name, talent, you know, they can cost millions of dollars for just one cast member.

Union labor, you know, all of these guys are highly skilled artisans, so they get paid like thousands of dollars a day for production, especially and post. So the, the numbers there just add up because there's so many people needed to make, you know, like iron man or, you know, any of these Superman, I have these big superhero movies, so I can see where those budgets explode.

I, I have to say for myself, I'm a little suspicious about it, but that's probably just because I'm in the. So, you know, I'm like, w you know, sometimes I see a movie I'm like, where does $200 million go? Like, I just don't see it for a movie. I absolutely love and adore. I just don't understand where $200 million.

But that's maybe because I'm just the gnat on the tail of the gigantic elephant that is, you know, these big studios, you know what I mean? Just surviving off of the indie the crumbs, if you will, of the world dealing with very, very, very lean budgets, because the other side of the story is film production has also become quite democratized, right?

It used to be 20 years ago, you know making a high quality. Was kind of the rarefied you know, ballywick of a very selected group of people that had access to film that had access to these 35 millimeter lenses, Panavision, you know, all of these like very expensive pieces of equipment. Over the last couple of decades.

We've seen with the advent of, especially like these kinds of really pro and digital cameras, like the red and, you know, Alexa has a couple of good models out. We've seen people if not able to purchase them. At least able to rent them, at least able to be able to work with that digital workflow, right? You don't have only a few film processing company.

You can get your digital image out at 4k 6k and 8K cameras now, and sort of have a little bit of a access into how to process those, how to edit them, how to deal with them yourself. And I think that's made two things happen. One it's made a whole bunch of movies possible, or a bunch of creators are able to do it.

The demands for streaming that all of these platforms are out there. YouTube, you know, even like even your, this story, you know, how much has that been made popular by podcasts? You know it's, it's, the possibilities are almost endless. It's how much work and effort you can put into the hub though, the audience you can find.

And that's just because of the tools have allowed almost everybody to create at the base level, a high quality image, a high quality audio, if you will, right now, recording like this. So there's a lot out there about how do you actually separate that? So to me, it kind of comes down to like the old original tenants, like it has to be a good story.

It has to be, you know, you have to be able to be a good storyteller. You have to be able to, you know, give people something they haven't seen before, because you know, people think that there's nothing new under the sun, you know, that everything's already been done and in a way that's true, you know, but there's always a way to imagine it.

There's always a new angle on it. There's always a new idea that you get, not everything will ever be done because just the combinations are infinite. So I think that combination is kind of separate the middle end because, you know, it's, you have the indie world where I am, which is super high risk. You kind of have like a, I won't even call like a wild west in a way.

You know, you just have a bunch of people that can really just put their, you know, like it's possible for a guy to like, kind of put a mortgage on his house. Or, you know, a second mortgage, you know, get a few hundred grand together and make a movie right now. Does that mean he should put his future at risk?

And do it? I don't know. I can't speak for other people. You know, like for me, I know it's a passion of mine. I don't think my life will be fulfilled if I didn't try to go for it, but I was blessed to meet the partner who make it happen. You know, she, she was supportive the whole way around and I told her last night or two nights ago at our, at a, at a private screening.

I owe my career to her because without her, I would not have had the support to be able to have a family, to be able to have a life and still be able to pursue these dreams.

[00:08:16] Trista, Host: That's beautiful. I love that. And you're talking about a private screening. You have a movie that has just come out. So let's talk about we have to talk about that.

So it's the Institute, it's a medical thriller. I want to know everything

first, give us a synopsis. Yeah. Give us a synopsis. First.

[00:08:39] Hamza Zaman: Young couple has difficulty having children. And so they travel. They get accepted to an exclusive remote facility where a charismatic doctor says he will help them fulfill their dreams.

[00:08:54] Trista, Host: And so you said that these days a story really has to have uniqueness, originality. What would you say you're bringing in that regard to this story?

Did you, you wrote it right? Yeah. You wrote it. And did you direct it as well? I did. And you produced it?

[00:09:10] Hamza Zaman: I'm not entirely, not entirely. My wife was the lead producer. And we have a whole production team you know, other producers, a whole team of executive producers. And you know, this is, it's a feature, so it takes a village.

I mean, this was 50+ people working on it.

[00:09:28] Trista, Host: Awesome. So what is unique and original about this take on a couple, trying to have a family.

[00:09:38] Hamza Zaman: Well, I think. It's going to be a little different than other, maybe films that you've seen that deal with this topic. You know, I've had to be sensitive because it is a very delicate topic. I've had friends, family members that have dealt with this, you know, the idea came from my own, you know initial attempts to start a family, you know, the insecurities that come with it.

And how in the medical field. You're not really, you know, you don't really have a lot of power and this is, you know, my, my family has many positions in it. My sister and my father, they were both physicians and, you know, I understand their side of it, but I also have been through the, I've been through the journey of seeing what happened in the hospital.

Railroaded into things like a C-section, you know, which is more popular and more prevalent than natural births now, which is mind boggling to me, but a whole nother that's a whole nother topic, different podcasts. It's a different podcast. Yeah. These things all kind of inspired me to talk about this, you know, and it's sort of a taboo subject.

So I think it's important to, to delve with things that are important. And maybe we don't discuss quite so much, but you know, at the same time, you know, I, as a man, you know, it's not really my job, you know, I'm an advocate, but I'm not really here to, I can't really speak for the specific detailed you know, journey.

So I just want it to be sensitive to that. But at the same time, you know, I'm it's a film, you know, I want this to be something watchable. So I kind of, I've always been a person that lets my imagination run wild. This is why I love to do. I come up with a story, you know what I mean? It seems interestingly, and I want to tell that story to others and just give them, you know, an hour and a half of escapism.

And hopefully you're surprised by some of the twists and turns some of the places that I take this story. And I think that's what makes it unique is that I kind of mix and match certain expectations that you have. And then hopefully at the end of the story, you've seen something, a Milan that you may have never seen before.

[00:11:46] Trista, Host: Well, it sounds very intriguing. Can you tell me anything about the actors that are starring in it? The cast, or?

[00:11:54] Hamza Zaman: Sure. Yeah. You know, it's an indie and our lead actress, Victorya Brandart, she was somebody that I had worked with before we were familiar with each other and I kind of helped her. We worked with each other to bring the production, you know, to the.

And so she had been there since basically day one, day two, at least. And so it was a natural choice, you know, she read for the part and she really had the passion for it and still is helping, you know, promote. She was a great, you know, some of the reviews said she was a great choice. She did a wonderful job.

She was familiar with my initial actor. He dropped out. Unfortunately he had he was also kind of a family friend. He's a. A big star on, on a, on Broadway, but he had some scheduling difficulties and then with COVID and our budget requirements and everything getting sort of condensed you know, she brought a new actor, Ignacyo Matynia and the fact that they were familiar with each other, when they read, you know, it really helped work things out because they, you know, A story about a husband and wife.

So the intimacy there, the, the, the background, the heritage of their relationship transformed, you know, informed that, that I love that informed the film. So it worked out well, they did a good job, and they had that connection, that chemistry that you can kind of see on screen.

[00:13:15] Trista, Host: And it sounds like in an indie film environment, you really went into your own network.

To cast the film. Is that typical? Did you also hold auditions? Like what's yeah, yeah,

[00:13:28] Hamza Zaman: yeah. I mean our main actor or the doctor himself, there's a couple of doctors, but the main doctor Mark Lobene, he was somebody who I had worked with as well. He, I had cast him in a play. I had director, you know, I'm also a playwright and director and in that world and he played a very different character, but I always saw him as.

And, you know be able to, you know, at least look the part. So then we had him read for the audition for actually to be able to pull off some of the, you know, the range that the doctor needed. And I think he did it, you know, and he was definitely came across the way he needed to come across for the story, the other, the ensemble, there's other couples at The Institute, you know, that we meet some of them, I went to my network, people I had cast before, but we had a few kind of public castings.

It was. But given COVID that they're zoom castings, but I think it worked out okay.

[00:14:21] Trista, Host: Yeah. That must have been quite a process. Did you use any of the local casting agencies? We actually have a button. Of local casting agencies right here in the Hudson valley. Is this where you filmed it?

[00:14:36] Hamza Zaman: I filmed it. I filmed it. The majority of it, the vast majority was in the Hudson valley and the Catskills Hudson valley film commission was instrumental in getting us resources for like local ADs and transportation and even some locations and just talent sound.

You know, there's a whole bunch of people that need to be. The day of, and a little bit before to, to get this thing to work casting, I did not really put out my net here in the Hudson valley. You know, maybe looking back I should have, but just, you know, I kind of had that history with New York and casting in the city and knowing the talent down there and you know, just the pool is so huge and because w we didn't have a whole lot of.

Extra as we needed or just kinda, you know it was all very specific, very tight, you know cast. So I went mostly with the New York area. Although Victorya Brandart came in from LA.

[00:15:33] Trista, Host: Oh, wow. Okay, great. Now we have in this area, it's being torn down because it's being built into like a shopping center in condos and stuff, but it's an old mental institutions supposed to be haunted, very, you know, weird energy over there.

Did you look into places like that here in the Hudson valley since it's a medical thriller or how did you choose your location?

[00:15:59] Hamza Zaman: Yeah, no, I think I'm familiar with the one you're talking about. There's one that's near Middletown, New York, and then there's a few abandoned facilities I've seen as well.

I had my, my location, people look into them. I think they're good locations, but they weren't available as like films locations.

But we were able to get tons of great places in the Hudson valley. I mean, we, we found an old summer camp that, you know, unfortunately they weren't doing anything because of COVID. So we were able to have a little bubble and have our cast and crew all live together for, you know, the few weeks it was really very collegial.

You know, we have a game room, people were playing pool, having campfires, you know, It was pretty cool. I mean, we're working hard working

[00:16:39] Trista, Host: like drama camp for a movie.

[00:16:43] Hamza Zaman: Exactly. I would love it. It can do that again. You know, that's amazing.

[00:16:48] Trista, Host: Well, being in the Hudson valley, having actor friends in the Hudson valley, I'll tell you there are some amazing talent and some wonderful casting people here in the area.

And there's a lot more stuff being filmed here. I love that you're doing stuff up here and that you've relocated up here.

What else can you tell us? About the film

[00:17:06] Hamza Zaman: It's out now. It's in it's not, yeah, Amazon apple TV, Google play. All the streaming sites will have it.

YouTube. I'm sure. And you can also see on spectrum your local cable providers, your local satellite providers, it'll be available on their, on their networks It's The Institute by Hamza Zaman, you know, just check it out. We also would appreciate if you guys could give us some good reviews, you know, on rotten tomatoes and the like, and.

You know, it's a small film, so small films need big support. So, you know, anything you can do to help spread the word or help us with our social media, you know, you can check out all those links on https://institutemovie.com and you know, it should route you to more and more areas where you could see it. We can, you know, sign up for news on the social side.

[00:17:52] Trista, Host: That's awesome.

Yeah, this is all very fascinating.

[00:17:55] Hamza Zaman: I'm just a, a small creator, you know, trying to live my dream by, you know,

[00:18:02] Trista, Host: I love that. And I really admire and honor you for doing that because you did take a risk. Like you went out on the skinny branches and you mentioned that it was really because your wife supported that dream.

She said, go for it, babe. I don't know if she calls you babe. Right? That's just what's happening in my head. Go for it. So let's talk about her a little bit. Her name is Chelsea and she's a producer and she's in the film world as well. What do you love best about.

[00:18:32] Hamza Zaman: Oh my God. I mean, I don't want to, you know,

it's just, there's really nothing bad I could say about her. You know, she's a wonderful person. We joke about like, you know, I have, we have our own obviously relationship has their own internal language. You know what I joke about how I've been searching for her for many lifetimes. And we finally got to meet and fulfill that, you know, long, long journey.

She's got a great. Like a wonderful heart, you know, super, super soft the highest levels of integrity, you know, which made her kind of an ill fit for what I, we, we started getting her into this film production world, but somehow we were able to muddle along, you know, swimming with people in their egos and their lies.

But you know, it's been, it's been a journey that's been able to. More rewarding because we're together. Right. We can kind of share these things. She actually comes more from the Broadway world. She went to college for design, and then she worked on a whole host of Broadway shows, you know, backstage designing, you know, wigs and makeup and all that.

And you know, she does costume design. She's an award winning costume designer. She won five. Yeah. And that's what she really wants to do. She really loved to do costume design. And unfortunately because of our budget and our requirements, she got pushed more into the production role, but she's been doing great with it.

And, you know, because of her experience with, you know, we, we kind of did this together. The first play I wrote, you know, we were like, okay, she's the one that told me to submit it. We won that, you know, a little contest. And from there it's just been like, you know, decisions together, which one of our stories does she like, do we like, and we kind of partner up.

Get the team together, you know, put it on and it's been very natural. It's always been like a part of our relationship, frankly. I don't know if it will ever change because we do have that love for art. We do have that love for story. So. Even though now we have kids and we're sort of, you know, more, more and more in a adulting mode.

I don't think it really was too big of a tangent. Right? So she, we met at a writer's group, actually. We're both working on, I was working on a screenplay. She was working on a play. So we always had that connection on art. On what we love about it. I mean, our tastes are different. She she'll probably say she has tastes, whereas I'm more open to, you know, pretty much anything with the, within the genre world I'll watch.

But you know, they're just, there's really, I couldn't, I can go on. So there's really nothing about her that I would change. She's a, she's a wonderful human being that's, you know, honestly sacrificed. So. For us, for our family, to be able to let us make these films, to be able to like raise a family. I mean, things she does are an order of magnitude above what I contribute to, you know, our lifestyle.

[00:21:18] Trista, Host: Oh, that's amazing. I love hearing you talk about her. You're just so complimentary, so much acknowledgement and love and your words and behind them. It's beautiful.

Yeah. And you met at a writer's group.

[00:21:29] Hamza Zaman: Huh. Yeah, this was in Manhattan. I guess sort of semi random, but you know, it was, I don't know. I don't want to say anything ill about writers either since I am one, but I was at a writer.

I'm a writer, I'm a writer I'm guilty as charged. So, but you know, the groups are not usually filled with. Actually say this beautiful, attractive, you know, young women coming in to, to work on their stories. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but in my case, you know, I was just working on my screenplay, kind of like minding my own business.

And then she kind of came in and sat down

[00:22:09] Trista, Host: that way. Right. Cause then you don't get distracted. You're just there to work. Right.

[00:22:13] Hamza Zaman: Did start to get distracted though.

I'd never been distracted before, but at this case you know, I got distracted and we just the format is you kind of, everybody just stops and quietly writes together and then they kind of can discuss their work. And so we discussed our work a little and, you know, struck up a friendship from there.

And apparently she thought I was somebody that she already knew and disliked. So this was a funny thing. This is, so she thought I looked like somebody that she already knew, but was not a very nice guy. So when I, when we discussed, you know, when we talked about her stories, she realized I was not that.

Which was obviously to my benefit. Absolutely. And yeah, the rest of, you know, it's just a friendship interests, you know, discussing the writing. And then we kind of had like the one coffee date and which lasted like, you know, six hours and our real date and kind of a real natural progression from there until.

Engagement marriage and now 2 kids, two

[00:23:17] Trista, Host: kids, young ones to write little kids. Oh,

[00:23:21] Hamza Zaman: cool. COVID kids. I guess Cyrus was born about a month and a half before COVID happened. And then Victor was just this December.

[00:23:29] Trista, Host: Wow. Congratulations. So are you ever going to write that story? The story of your meet, cute and your life.

[00:23:41] Hamza Zaman: I never even thought about it. That's funny. You said that I, you know, it just seems pretty straightforward. You know, I th there's nothing that crazy and unique, but I will bring in those elements into all my other work, you know, a lot of times screenplay, right. I named the protagonist after her in the beginning, just to kind of flesh out a character or, you know, female character, I'll kind of give names of my friend, just piece it together, make them a little richer from, from day one.

So I, you know, I bring our story permeates almost every story I have actually, even The Institute right. It's based on a young couple that can't conceive. So it's, I don't, I wouldn't call it semi-autobiographical we don't deserve that. I mean, other people have these real issues and, and, you know, they're the ones who, who you know, we should kind of be concerned with and, and support them on their journeys.

But some of the dialogue, some of the, you know, situations, they all kind of stem from our relationship.

[00:24:37] Trista, Host: Absolutely. So I have to ask you, you know, I, I said before, I love that you're following your passion and your dream and.

There a lot of doubt. There's a lot of opportunity to be judged. You're putting out your own personal creativity. You're asking people to back your work and, you know, act in your story. How has self-worth played a role in your journey and your life?

[00:25:01] Hamza Zaman: Self-worth well definitely I will give one piece of advice, which is if you have any, you know, be prepared for your self worth to be negatively impacted, if you put out a movie or put out any work, you know, there's always going to be people that speak negatively of it and

[00:25:16] Trista, Host: nitpick everyone.

Okay. I don't know how good it is. There's always a hater or a troll, you know? Yeah,

[00:25:20] Hamza Zaman: exactly. So, you know, and just be prepared for that and, and. Try to stay focused on the positives. Like, you know, you're following your dream, your you're, you, you made a project, you gave people work. You, you employed people during COVID.

You know, you created some art together with people that you love. You know, there are people that love this, you know, there's going to be people that love it. There's going to be people that don't like it, but focus on the fact that you are doing. What you set out to do and that you can accomplish what you want to do.

If you just take the time and keep, keep pushing forward and just, you know, find the right team, find the right partner to be for my, in my case, it's, you know, find the support structure around you that allow you to thrive. So that, that's kind of how I would consider, like how self-worth played a part in it.

You know, I it's, it's a complicated issue, right? Because.

You almost have to have an overly inflated sense of self-worth to think that anybody cares about what your story is or a story that you write. Like, why should anybody care? Yeah. You have an idea. You, you know, you love this, but so what, you know, there's a war going on in Ukraine. There's people dying.

There's people, you know, don't have enough to eat and you're taking, you know, thousand days of your life. You know, it took three years for us to bring this to market. So. Where are your priorities at? And I, I feel those in inside as well. I always, I asked myself these questions, you know, like, Hey, you know, is this worth it?

Is this art like, you know, really contributing to society at the level that it should, and that you really can do. And then it's, is it a valid use of resources? And, you know, I think that's an open question and everybody has to answer that for themselves. I mean, I don't need to like publicize any of my charity or, you know, donations and stuff.

But for me, this was what I had wanted to do since I was a teenager. And if not actually started doing when I was a teenager, but really wanted to do, since I was a child, the first Saturday morning cartoons that I watched, I was like, this is cool, but I want this happen. Why didn't this happen? This is what I would have done.

This is where it started for me. I'm like, you know what, when I'm going to get older. I'm going to make my own,

[00:27:29] Trista, Host: I'm going to fix it, make it better.

[00:27:33] Hamza Zaman: I'm going to make it better. I'm going to make it more to, you know, my tastes. And and that's really all I'm doing is I'm trying to say, Hey, there may be people out there that are not being kind of served or may not have their, their tastes titillated if you will.

So this is something that I think would be cool. This is something that I like. I think I want you to enjoy. No, this is supposed to bring you actually enjoyment and joy and positive. And even though I talk, tackle some dark subjects and have some, you know, twists and turns in there, the final takeaway, I want you to have some positive, you know, some endorphins and add something kind of helpful to your life, you know, which is, you know, a positive experience.

So yeah, I'm not changing the world. But I do want to maybe give a few of us. A few hours.

[00:28:21] Trista, Host: Sure. Well, there's a place for it for sure. And we need to support it. We need to support the arts because they aren't an afterthought. They aren't just something to do to pass the time. And I, and I'm thinking about, you're talking about dark subjects.

I'm thinking about the first podcast that really put podcasts on the map was true crime. It was called cereal and it was about this guy. Prison for killing his girlfriend. And like, did he do it, did he not? And now that serial has, did it get him released? Oh, I didn't know

[00:28:58] Hamza Zaman: the end. I don't know if I think there was, if it's the same podcast I'm thinking of, there was a lot of, you know, attention that came to her.

Maybe there's,

[00:29:07] Trista, Host: I don't know if he ever got released, but definitely a lot of attention, but that's really what put, made, I believe what made podcasts. Mainstream, because this was a for Joe Rogan and, and all of that. And so true crime, those darker subject. They're very popular. They're very sought after. I think it allows us to look at the shadow side of life.

And for me, the reason I don't like is I don't like to be scared. I'm scared enough in my own life. And I don't like to be upset. I'm upset with in my own life. Like I don't need to be entertained with the stuff that I deal with and because I'm all about being positive and really managing my mindset. And it's just a personal choice, but, but it's very popular and you're right.

Like those darker subjects, that's what people want, give the people what they want. And you're doing that.

[00:30:03] Hamza Zaman: I think I try to give a little bit of positivity in there because you know, there's just, to me, there's no such thing as like pure white, black, you know, there's always going to be a little. A little mix in there.

So we'll see, we'll see. I totally respect your, your desire to kind of control your information space and to keep your life, you know, oriented the way you want it to go. I just have been one of these people, my whole life, where I couldn't do that. Like to me, I really, I need to know what's going on in those areas because that's what fulfills my life.

That's what gives me the. The confidence to understand the field that I have a true understanding of the meaning of my life. Right? You need to, I need to know what's happening in, in the bunker. And you see, you know, in Kiev where, you know, my friend is right now hiding from these Russian forces. Wow. You know, as well as, you know, be able to enjoy like the sublime love of my wife, you know, I need to, I have to have both sides of it.

And unfortunately

[00:31:01] Trista, Host: the gray. No black and white. Yeah. You live in the grays. Yeah, it's good. It's a, it's a very good skill. And it's, it's makes you a better storyteller. I'm sure as well. Yeah, absolutely.

So we can see your movie on all the streaming services and I'm wishing you huge success with. So much success that it ends up in the four movie theaters that are still open after COVID. Oh my goodness. It's quite a world that we're in. It's quite a world.

I always like to turn the tables before we end and see if you have a question you'd like to ask me. So do you have a question for me today?

[00:31:42] Hamza Zaman: Sure. Yeah. Trista. I know you had said that, you know, you deal with, you know, empowerment and positivity kind of. But surround yourself with this world. So I don't need you to get into like, you know, what bad thing happened that, you know, made you kind of focus on that or any other bad stuff that, cause we all have that, right?

Everybody deals with these, these bad issues and you know, and I really am very, very appreciative that you would share and build a platform for others to share their stories and, and try to uplift them by, by focusing on the positive. So I want to start by just thanking you. But I wanted to know if there was a particular incident or anything that you probably already dealt with this in your other podcast.

But I would just curious if there's anything specific you wanted to talk about on what inspired you to do this and, and where that came from?

[00:32:28] Trista, Host: Well, so my brand for my coaching and my business is called, I woke up awesome. And where that came from. I really, I've done a lot of work on myself over my life.

I'm very transformational. I like taking courses and reading books and watching videos that expand me to be able to transform myself to be the best possible version. I can be the highest self version I can be walking around in this humanness that we all. And in that journey, I realized that I've learned a lot, that I wanted to be able to give back and share .

And I could actually, you know, pay that. And then all of a sudden that, you know, voice in your head, that's living there speaking to you as basically an ongoing, never ending monologue. It said, oh, well you better get a haircut first. Oh, you should. You should lose a few pounds. Well, you're not wearing makeup.

Don't do it today. Oh, you should buy a new wardrobe. Like there were all these reasons to wait. And then one morning I woke. And I said, I had this epiphany that came from somewhere that you are perfect just as you are. There's nothing to change about you. If you go onto a video camera and start recording yourself with your hair, terrible, your makeup under your eyes, wearing your pajamas.

This was before COVID right. When everybody's doing that now, like it's sense as a trendsetter baby. If you go on camera just as you are right out of bed and share powerful words. Wisdom that helped people. That's still amazing and you don't need to look perfect and dress perfectly. And all of those things in order to offer something of value, because just as you are right now, you are perfect.

I gave myself this little pep talk from this, this epiphany, and then I realized, well, that's true of all of us. . Like we're so we're all perfect. Hamza like you are perfect just as you are. You have nothing to change about you. And I thought, what if that was the message? That there is to share because my self worth has definitely grown over the years.

That's why I always ask the question. How has self-worth played a role in your life? Cause it's definitely played a role in mine and I love hearing other perspectives about it, but I used to think I'm too fat, too ugly, too dumb, not funny enough. Like, you know, pick a reason why I'm terrible, that I shouldn't be sharing my gifts.

Like you are sharing your. I love acting. I would never be an actor. I wouldn't wanna put up there with the ritual, with the rejection, you know, I love writing, but I could never, you know, like all of those, those self-doubt fans. And so that's kind of where it all stemmed from, because I really believe that you can't be more successful than your self-worth.

So. You can't be loved more than you love yourself. We put the limits on ourselves. So it's really about taking the limits away layer by layer. It's not a flip switch kind of situation, right. There's always another layer to do. So that's really where it comes from an of course, as you said, plenty of personal trauma and drama that I've worked through in my life, like we all have I'm no, no special person.

When it comes to that, we all deal with our own journey. But yeah, so that's, I would say where it all kind of stems from. Does that answer your question? Yeah,

[00:36:09] Hamza Zaman: that's wonderful. I mean, we all deal with the trauma, but you know, not as many of us, not enough of us do something about it that can help others.

You know, I went to, so during COVID I got my EMT certification, I went to some training last night, where for the first time, you know, we did this kind of suicide assistance. QPR training. And I had just wished to God that somebody had shown me this training like a decade ago, because, you know, we don't need to get into it, but, you know, there's people that I've met, you know, like friends of mine and, you know, I didn't have the tools to really help them, you know, I didn't really have the tools to help.

So it's amazing that one hour and a half session would, you could be able to give them. The tools that you could use to save a life. I mean, I hate to overdramatize it, but it's true. So I think you building a platform where you bring these people in and, you know, get them to potentially share some information that could be very helpful to people.

It's, it's very vital and, and not many people take that next step to say, Hey, I'm not going to just let this transformation. The self-transformation journey helped me. I'm going to do something that could potentially allow others to help them.

[00:37:21] Trista, Host: Yeah. So QPR, it's a suicide prevention tool. I've never heard of this before.

Give me a brief synopsis.

[00:37:31] Hamza Zaman: Basically it is, I don't want to really, I'm no expert.

Yeah. So there's CPR, which is what we know we're, we're trained with the, you know, provide common, you know, cardiopulmonary resuscitation help, like a person that's having a cardiac issue or a respiratory issue. So QPR is kind of based around the same, which is three tenants called question persuade and refer.

And you basically just give people the basic things to say, and frankly, not to say. And how, if you suspect somebody is contemplating suicide. You can question them about it and persuade them and all you really th the, the fact that the core of it is based on hope. So a lot of people, they feel that they have no other choice.

You know, suicide is not an option that people take because they have any other way. They're, they're just like us, that people, that their life has pushed them into. And the only way they think they can escape these problems is to suicide. So all you do is you try to persuade them, give them a little bit of hope, Ms.

Top. This is where I really dark best is give them a little bit of hope that there is another option and that can sometimes be enough. And then, you know, it's just the other is just to refer them to the professional. There's a whole, you know, group of advocacy organizations and unfortunately in the Sullivan county area, there's not enough of them.

You know, we have one. Suicide rates in the, in the state. And it's, it's very unfortunate. And this, this was based primarily around first responders. That's why you know, we, we took the training, but I think it's very helpful to everybody in this world to have known about this and how to deal with this. If you can just build yourself up take some time, to hear them out and persuade them that there's, there's hope that there's options other than suicide, and then refer them to an organization that deals with this, you know, like a professional organization, that could be what it takes to save.

[00:39:27] Trista, Host: Wow. And I appreciate you mentioning it. I've not heard of this process. I get that it's for first responders, but like you said, it sounds like it's something just like you could learn CPR, you know, and be a citizen. You know, I think people really want to, you say hope is a piece of it. I absolutely agree.

And I think, and this is my opinion, but people just really want to be heard. They want to feel connection with others. And so I think that's where the hope comes from, from the process you're talking about. Not really knowing what it is, but. Yeah, that's, that's a great resource to share. You know, people are always sharing the suicide prevention, hotline stuff on Facebook and all of that, you know, it's a thing that it's hard to know sometimes, you know, people like the famous people like Anthony Bordain, Robin Williams.

Oh, well, nobody realized how they were feeling and that it was that bad for them. And, you know, we we've gotten. Yeah. So to know those signs we've gotten so isolated, I think mental health issues are definitely off the charts because of COVID and isolation. And, you know, I like being home. I enjoy being home.

I I'm going to just be really honest and say, this has been not bad, but good for my mental health, but I have friends. They need to be around human people. You know, in order to really feel connected to the world. And it's been really tough for them and you're right. It got a little dark, but that's okay.

That's life. And I do appreciate you sharing that resource. So I'm so happy to have had you here today, Hamza. It has been a really fun and educational

[00:41:03] Hamza Zaman: conversation. This has been really wonderful. Yeah,

[00:41:09] Trista, Host: me too. So everybody go see the film, The Institute streaming, wherever you watch stuff, give it reviews, rave reviews, share it on social media. Let's help this independent film. Get the huge love and support that it deserves.

[00:41:26] Hamza Zaman: Thank you so

[00:41:26] Trista, Host: much. Yeah, absolutely. All right. Have a great day.

[00:41:31] Hamza Zaman: You too. Take care.

[00:41:32] Trista, Host: Thanks for listening. Please subscribe to Trista's plate story podcast, share it, or leave a review. If you would like to nominate a license plate to be featured in a future episode or you have an interesting plate story news item to share with me, leave us a comment or visit plate story.com. That's P L number 8. story.com and give me all the details.

This is Trista polo wishing you well on the road to your next adventure.

Botanical Funk Artist Ben Robinson - Plate 76 - Trista's PL8STORY Podcast

trista@iwokeupawesome.com (Trista Polo) — Mon, 31 Jan 2022 13:45:51 GMT

Interview with Botanical Funk Artist, Ben Robinson of Philadelphia - this week's PL8STORY (Plate 76)

This week we meet Botanical Funk artist, Ben Robinson, of Philadelphia. He creates fun and colorful art on many surfaces including license plates. We’ll hear all about it and see samples of his work on our video version. We’ll hear about what inspires his creative process and how his time at art school influenced his work. Ben will also share how he deals with criticism from the public and what keeps him going no matter what. www.botanicalfunk.com Check out his work at IG @botanical_funk. Enjoy this episode and want to buy me a cup of coffee? https://www.buymeacoffee.com/pl8story

Connect with Botanical Funk:

https://instagram.com/botanical_funk

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Transcript

BOTANICAL FUNK

[00:00:00] Trista, Host: Welcome to Trista's plate story podcast. I'm your host Trista polo. This week we meet botanical funk artist, Ben Robinson of Philadelphia. He creates fun and colorful art on many surfaces, including license plates. We'll hear all about it and see samples of his work on our video version. Audio version, you can check out his Instagram to see all of his awesome creations.

We'll hear what inspires Ben in his creative process. And how his time at art school influenced his work. Ben will also share how he deals with criticism from the public and what keeps him going no matter what. But first. Plate story news. Alice Cooper kicked off his tour in Canada this past week, while the tour is not actually named, he has a Detroit muscle vanity plate on the posters, Mustang artwork.

Cooper shared that the car is an artist's depiction of his own car and says, quote, the plate is the fact that in Detroit it's all about muscle cars and muscle music. So it's making the statement that it's all about hard rock. Cooper's north American tour will go through April, 2022. He will then move on to the international portion of his tour.

At 73 Cooper is still doing what he loves best. Sharing his own art with the world. This week's plate story guest listens to hard rock and hip hop when he paints. So he would probably be happy to have some new Alice Cooper. Uh, to inspire and motivate him on his future projects. Now let's go spend some time with him.

Welcome. I'm super excited to have my guest for today. Ben Robinson from Philadelphia. Ben.

[00:01:42] Ben Robinson, Botanical Funk: Welcome.

[00:01:45] Trista, Host: Good. Yeah, I'm so excited now we're veering off our typical pattern because you don't actually have a vanity plate. So tell me, what's your story around plates licensed.

[00:01:56] Ben Robinson, Botanical Funk: Yeah, so I'm, I'm from Philadelphia.

I do a lot of painting and drawing on all kinds of mediums, honestly, but the license plates kind of, kind of fell into them a little bit. So I just thought they were, first of all, like the old license plates, the one that have like a little character and like, cause a lot of the license plates now are kind of like.

Kind of dull and dumbed down a little bit. It's kinda like there's no cool sayings or like pictures or nothing like that. So I think I was in a thrift shop or something and saw like an old collection of something like old vanity plates. And this found some Pennsylvania ones and I was like, this could be a good, like surface to, I don't know, like make some funky artwork on and kind of like associate the, the state with like some imagery that relates to it.

So I just thought I'd kind of like set up like a good composition and something like different too. Cause I haven't really seen, I've seen like some license plate artwork, but I was trying to bring like a little something different you know, just to kind of like incorporate the whole kind of composition that it has.

Honestly. I think it's just like a unique, fun thing that paint on, honestly.

[00:03:00] Trista, Host: Yeah. And so you're an artist in Philadelphia and is this your main Medium for art or is like, how do license plates work into the mediums you choose to work in?

[00:03:13] Ben Robinson, Botanical Funk: I wouldn't say it's the main ones.

Definitely like one that I enjoy a lot and probably gets a lot of good feedback out of all this stuff I do. I started with like the traditional kind of like paper canvas you know, kind of like the traditional artwork, route, that typical mediums, stuff like that. I still do that all the time. As I started doing like more shows and kind of like putting myself out there I started like experimenting with different surfaces, like, you know, like broken skateboardsrecycled license plates like pretty much any odd ball, recycled material. I could find this, to paint on. And then the more that I was doing that, the more like the better feedback I was getting.

, I've done a lot over the years and it's been, it's been awesome. I love doing them personally.

[00:03:52] Trista, Host: That's awesome because I have seen license plates used as part of a media, more for sculpture or to actually use the plate to create like a portrait or landscape or a skyscape. And you're actually using it as the canvas.

That you then paint your own work on too. How is it as a canvas to use versus other mediums?

[00:04:17] Ben Robinson, Botanical Funk: It's a little, a little different, obviously you got like. The lettering, you know, it's raised up and everything. So you got to kind of work around like the 3d elements, but that's also like a perk of the surface.

Like you can kinda make it more 3d and like there's a different element to it. You know what I mean? It's not like a flat flat surface. So been like experimenting, like I use acrylic and enamel on it, which pretty much holds up.

Like I've had people send me pictures over the years of like year old ones and they hold up. So it obviously, you know, varies from project to project, but. Sometimes I go into things with like a, like a very vague idea, like very brief, just kind of like a starting point. And then I kind of build off of that. Like sometimes I use references, but what I like doing the most is just kinda like jumping right in this kind of like free form kind of doodling.

And that kind of like opens up the creative process to kind of like, you know, like doodle a little bit step back, analyze, see what you have. So it's kinda like. It's kind of like improvising, like spontaneous creation, honestly. But I don't know. I just think that leaves like a lot of room to really like get into the piece you're doing and not like be so confined in, like, because when, like, when you have all these references, like, I like doing all that too, but I really liked just kind of like figuring it out on the fly.

Seeing what comes from what you're doing, you know, and not being like too bound to anything you're putting down the paper, like not afraid to race, go over things. but since like the license plates that like metal. Whatever surface it is, it's kind of different to work with, but I kind of liked the challenge. Like a lot of my stuff is kind of working off of like mistakes or like challenges in the, in the piece.

So I like the challenge of like working with the raise letters or like framing it in the thing or trying to work with other elements to like, you know, bring out something different.

[00:06:05] Trista, Host: Well, you have a pretty colorful. I dunno if I want to call it psychedelic, but you have a pretty unique viewpoint when it comes to your art.

And you're talking about working in the mistakes. Can you share a little bit more about your process when you're creating an actual concept? Where do your ideas kind of flower from, in terms of the mistakes and the final.

[00:06:28] Ben Robinson, Botanical Funk: Yeah. Yeah. So I just think it brings like a more, like genuine, better creation. You know what I mean? Cause when you're like set in with what you're doing, I feel like the creativity kind of like stops.

Like you're like I want to draw like an elephant and like, that's it. Like I like nothing else. So if I want to draw an elephant, like I'll draw an elephant before. Leave it open and maybe like swirl things around and kind of blend in other elements that are just popping in my head. So I leave a lot of room for just improvising and just like in the moment, like whatever's running through my mind, honestly, it sounds weird, but it keeps it fun.

And like I'm trying to like create something interesting for people. So,

[00:07:07] Trista, Host: yeah. No, it's cool. As, as an improv actor, myself, it's different, but I can kind of get what you're saying. So it begs the question. What do you do when you're not painting to fan the flames of your creativity, like, do you have writing or meditation, yoga mushrooms?

Like what do you do to kind of fan the flames of your creativity?

[00:07:32] Ben Robinson, Botanical Funk: Yeah. Yeah. Now a lot of people kind of well, you know, like you said before, like the psychedelics, you, a lot of people associate. You know what I do, cause like, let's be honest. It's very like surreal wild, psychedelic colorful. But honestly, I mean, I just kinda like really try to dial in to like, I listened to a lot of music, so I'll just like put on headphones and like really just try and like disassociate and like be in the moment of creating, which I think really.

You know, is the best way to do it. Cause then you're, you're really like, you're not thinking outside influence. You're like strictly in the moment. But as far as like outs, I take a lot of walks around town. I live in the city and Philadelphia. So like I'm kind of like in the mix. So I'll just like take a lap around town and just see like what all the craziness is and what people are doing. And you know, I'm bad. Like you know, the whole like sticker scene, graffiti culture, the street art, like I just, like, there's just so much to view and just be like influenced by to the location on, at that.

I just utilize that if I'm feeling like I'm not really into it, or if like today's not the day, like I want to draw, but like I'm not really feeling it, then I'll just try and. Open my mind a little bit and just take a lap and see what else was going on outside my little space here. I

[00:08:40] Trista, Host: love that.

I love that you use your environment. And you're inspired by just the world around you and you certainly are in the thick of things and Philly. You also talked about when you're actually working and creating, you have music playing, what do you listen to when you're creating.

[00:08:58] Ben Robinson, Botanical Funk: I listen to a lot of, a lot of wild, different things. Like my genre is or up and down, but honestly I I'm the top two are probably like a lot of hip hop and like heavy metal, to be honest with you, like post hardcore metal scene, I'm really into that. And then mixed with like hip hop somewhat, sometimes instrumental psychedelic rock, like, so like I'm all over the place, but I find the two John Aras to be those two. It kinda like it's kinda calming in a sense, like a loud chaotic noise. It kind of like really drowns out everything else. And then like, I'm just really engaged.

I've always been a hip hop guy. Like my brothers influenced me too with that and just like my interests alone. Kinda like took me into that realm of like skateboarding is like a close association with hip hop, like graffiti's right there.

So like everything kind of like molded together with like the influences kinda, really just like blending all together. Honestly. So music is like, I honestly don't think I could paint or draw if I didn't listen to music, to be honest with you. I think that. A big driving factor. I just think it's it goes hand in hand with like any creative outlet, honestly.

[00:10:02] Trista, Host: Yeah. I would agree with you. So I've been writing a and similar to what you're talking about I use music to kind of quiet my mind and let whatever through that there is to come through.

So I totally, it definitely is a little calmer and a little more peaceful than you're referring to,

[00:10:23] Ben Robinson, Botanical Funk: Cause like the note, like you would think all that extra noise would kind of add like distractions or like not being able to focus, but like in a weird way, it kind of makes you focus more.

I don't know. It's like and it can like bring inspiration in itself. Like the lyrics you're listening to the, just whatever vibe you're creating. It all influences everything. It's all connected in my opinion. So it's a big driving factor and that's big too with like what I do outside.

So like, I go to a lot of shows, local shows a lot of concerts try and be like, you know, active in that scene and just it's just a big inspiration itself. Any like creative outlet. I'm so.

[00:10:57] Trista, Host: Yeah, absolutely. Now you're a trained artist. You went to art school in Philly. Can you share a little about how that has influenced you?

Do you think that you would be the same artist without the school?

[00:11:12] Ben Robinson, Botanical Funk: Yeah, that's a good question. I've thought about that a lot over the years, but yeah, I went to university of the arts in Philly. I went to community college before then, but. Yeah. I mean before then it was kinda like you know, the typical, what people do doodling and drawing on your own skateboarding was a huge influence and that's kind of why I feel like gravitate towards that serious, like really good skateboarding senior too.

But as far as like art school and everything, like, I think it's definitely beneficial for sure. I've definitely, I wouldn't say I don't I'll regret it, but I think there's the, I don't think it's the only way, you know what I mean? Like it's, I think a lot of people get caught up. I, I definitely did.

Like after high school, I was like, no idea what I was doing. Like that just seemed like the path to go. Like, that was just, you know what I mean? We didn't really know what was going on. And then I did that and then kind of figured out what I wanted to do from there. But like art school, like I want, that was a painting and drawing major.

And I think the best thing is, is the environment you get. Like, cause I think, I honestly think the information that you get from school that you, you can get it elsewhere. But I think the environment is like really the benefit of school is like, for me it was just like, you would be paired up with someone else in a studio and just pretty much paint, like until you're slotted time and just like completely.

Free form, like you make your rules and then the teacher would come around and talk to you. And it's like, it's kind of a crazy concept. You're in college and school. It's like, you have a direction, but you don't. I think, I think I'm being, going to art school and being around like-minded individuals that are trying to do similar things, but they're like different influences from outside, but you're all, you know, you're all painting and creating.

I think that's the most beneficial thing. And being able to talk about your work too is important. Like really being able to dial in and like convey why you painted what you painted. Cause I'm like, you know, the common person doesn't really know. A lot about it, honestly like colors and imagery is like the first suit thing.

Like most people are like, oh, I love the colors. And like, oh, it's an elephant. Like, that's like, I love elephants. But so like, I think really like getting that knowledge and being like comfortable with like, talking about what you created, like your inner creation, talking about outer is like a difficult thing to do.

But I mean, our schools are expensive too, so it's like. Yeah. There's that balance like, is it worth it to be in debt and like pay these loans for the rest of my life? Or so I go, I teeter-totter, it's a really good question. It's just like, it's a tough one, you know?

[00:13:41] Trista, Host: Well, what I'm hearing from what you said is it gave you structure, which it sounds like you have that structure still because you talk about like, I'm ready to work. And so here's what I do to make sure I work. Whereas I think somebody who just sort of follows the past. They're just going to not work if they don't feel like it because nobody ever taught them the structure of working anyway, you know, especially in a creative, like, do you really have to feel creative to get started?

Or can you do music and journal a little bit and meditate, walk around nature and be part of the culture. And like, you have very specific tools you use to get in a zone and. I think that you probably learned that, because look, this is your time to paint. This is your time to draw.

[00:14:29] Ben Robinson, Botanical Funk: That's a really good point.

Yeah, because that, that is true. You have a slot at time and the end you go somewhere to paint. It's like, you're, it's like you work, you'd go somewhere to work. So I think that's a big part too. Like actually leaving the house, going like your destination is to go paint somewhere. Really dial into what you're doing.

I think that's a good point structure. There's probably a very big thing I got out of it because I definitely, I probably do it without even realizing I'm doing it. Like I slot times, like, I'm like, oh, I have to work. I'm going to paint. It's like, I'm already thinking like setting away time to do what I want.

You know what I mean? So that's a good thing. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:15:08] Trista, Host: And the other thing I heard that you said by having to explain, almost justify your work, it probably. Created clarity for you around what you were doing, why you were doing it, why you chose to do it a certain way in a certain medium, with a certain style, by being expected to explain it to somebody else, you had to be able to verbalize it.

And that means you had to understand it. And I think that if you're doing, if you're creating, maybe you don't really get why you just are. And so you understand that probably more deeply. Than someone who just follows their muse and never really has to explain why. So that could have added some additional layers and depth to your work that you're not even aware of.

[00:15:58] Ben Robinson, Botanical Funk: Yeah. And that's exactly, that's like another benefit of being, you're talking about these things that you don't even realize in the moment, but like in like a panel of students and like teachers, they'll like totally expose something you'd even think about. And you're like, oh, like that's where that's coming from.

And I think like, especially for me, like, I was a big, like, I still am like surreal abstraction guys. A lot of that is kind of like figuring it out after you do it. You know what I mean? Like you do it and then analyze and figure out like, where's this coming from? Is there meaning in there? So yeah, I think that's definitely a big part of it, for sure.

It's kind of crazy.

[00:16:35] Trista, Host: I'm helping you justify all those student

[00:16:37] Ben Robinson, Botanical Funk: loans. I'm in school again here. It's great. It's got official.

[00:16:48] Trista, Host: So I said, I'm writing this book and I'm probably like two thirds of the way done with it. And I'm really worried about what other people are going to think of it. Like when you put your work out there, I have a friend who is a novelist, she's put out a ton of stuff, self published, and she posted on Facebook recently about the fact that you have to be willing to accept whatever response there is to your creativity, because you're putting it out in the world. You can't control where it goes, who sees it and what their response to it is. What's your thought about that?

[00:17:21] Ben Robinson, Botanical Funk: Yeah. No. I mean, that's a big asset, big part, honestly, like if you're trying to pursue. Any career in like any creative career, honestly, something that you're creating and putting out into the masses to exactly interpret and judge, it's definitely a scary thing. Like I was I've been doing this for a while now of like doing shows and markets festivals, like any kind of gig to dislike, put yourself out there.

And it's definitely,. It can make or break a lot of people. Cause I know some people who create and do everything, but they're terrified. Show their work or go outside just because of the judgment. And like, I don't know, I can really rattle you and just like shaky up.

Like, you know what I mean? Like can really like put something in your brain and make you not want to do it anymore, honestly. But for me, like, I don't know, I'm pretty laid back easy going, like I'm pretty, I like talking to people too, so I kinda like the honesty, honestly, like when I'm out there, like I want to hear what people say, and like, I'm not afraid to like, I don't know. I guess I think a going back to the art school thing, that model like thick in my skin a little bit to be in like, cause when they critique in there that no one holds back, like they're like disrespect and you almost to a certain point of like, why you're doing it, they'll flip your painting upside down and be like, oh, this looks better like this.

Like I've had that on the news, which is crazy. I mean, looking back, like it's good because the general public is ruthless and they'll give you their honest opinion, but you need to hear that because you'll, that's how you grow. That's how you like realize how your stuff's being interpreted. So like there's there's goods and bads from it, obviously.

I don't know if you're trying to do this, you just got to believe in what you're doing and that you're doing it for a reason and use support or confident in what you're doing and putting out there and like, just react to the reactions, honestly, like, you know, they're not gonna ruin my day. They're just telling me what they think.

So like, I don't really care. So I take it lighthearted, but I want to hear it. You know, I want to hear that brutal honesty because you need, everyone needs to hear it.

[00:19:21] Trista, Host: Well, how has your. Are changed as a result of the feedback you've gotten over the years, would you say that you do what you want to do anyway?

Or have you been influenced by that

[00:19:32] Ben Robinson, Botanical Funk: feedback? Yeah, that's a good question too. I would say, I mean, I feel like I still do what I want, honestly. Like I still, I feel like I'm sticking to my gun cause like, Honestly, I, I try and paint and draw like what I like to paint, draw, like what keep gets me motivated and like the imagery that I like, honestly, that doesn't not to take away from.

Like, you know, I love doing commissions and things that are completely outside of my comfort zone. But yeah, I think I'm definitely, I definitely try to make it a point to this. Really stick to my guns and like, do what I'm interested in, what I'm influenced by like really not try and take that judgment and like completely change who I am.

Like. I think that that's problematic in a lot of senses, like that can like completely derail you to creating something that you're not even like passionate about, honestly. But I say that to say, There's there's money in that. You know what I mean? Like I could paint like the license plates, like they they're taken very well.

So like, if I just like sat down and painted license plates, I probably would do financially better. I like some of these shows and things, but like, I like doing them, but I like doing other stuff too. So it's like, you can't really take that to post the heart. Like, I definitely like, you know, plant the seeds and like th the shows really let you know.

The best feedback. Like it lets you know, like what people gravitate towards the most, but that shouldn't derail what you want to create. You know what I mean? That should be just like a little note to keep in mind, but not only should really listen to yourself and your, your inner dialogue is really important.

I think.

[00:21:10] Trista, Host: Yeah, for sure. And, you know, we're sort of skirting around the conversation of self-worth. So I'll ask you the question directly. How has self-worth played a role in your journey as an artist?

[00:21:23] Ben Robinson, Botanical Funk: Yeah, and I, I think that's directly related to what we were just saying, like, especially in a creative field, like you gotta believe in yourself and have confidence and doing what you're doing.

I think self-worth is directly related to confidence, honestly, like. It takes a lot to set up, you know, a table or a tent and like put everything you're creating out there and to like a vulnerable, maybe hostile environment, you have no idea who's walking through these streets or whatever. So like, I think it takes a lot to just like post up, sit up and talk to the public about.

Things you want to do. And I think like, as a person that can really, like we were saying, that can really like affect you negatively, if you're like vulnerable and kind of like fragile and you don't really know what you're doing. And like, I'll know if someone's work, like break you. If they're like, what are you doing?

Like, I've seen this a thousand times. Like they really like lay into you. So I think that self-worth thing is just like sticking to your guns, honestly, believing in what you're doing, whatever it's doing, whatever you're doing. Like if you care about it and you're passionate, but. I think that is enough reasoning to do anything, to be honest with you.

So I think that that self self-worth is just like, you know, don't be influenced by other people's opinions on you, but I mean, it's definitely a struggle. Like I struggled with it too. I talk like I'm Mr. Hard guy over here. Not affected by what people say, but I'm affected too, but it's just like, Keeping it on the surface.

And like, this is just other people's opinions and really like having a core morals that like are important to you and just kind of like really like boil it back to them. And just like ride that out. Cause that's what I've been doing with the self-worth thing. Cause it's like, you can get lost in, in any creative out anything you're doing.

Honestly, you just get lost in it and like thing, what is this worth it like, is this the right path? Like, am I spending my time wisely, but there's gotta be a reason there. You know what I mean? There's gotta be, I don't know. It's got, there's gotta be something there to make you want to do this. So that's, I'm just kind of riding it out and kind of going off.

There's like simple morals than me and not this. Yeah, I believe myself, honestly.

[00:23:32] Trista, Host: Yeah. I think that's so important. I think that we can allow other people's opinions to impact us, but not own us. Cause I think when we let them own us, that's when we become the victims of, you know, public opinion . So where can we see your work? You see, you're talking about doing shows and things like that. Where can people come and find you?

[00:23:55] Ben Robinson, Botanical Funk: Obviously on the social media outlets on Instagram at @botanical_funk, that's kinda like the main source.

Honestly. Instagram's like everyone just seems to use that the most, in my opinion I have a online shop website, botanicalfunk.com. And that's kinda like the alias that I'm pushing. It's this kind of. I like the name and it kind of sums up like what I'm into, honestly. And like the, the content I'm putting out, just, it just seemed to work.

So like a lot of organic, like plant-based kind of imagery mixed with like the funky, surreal, urban influences. So social media or those to have some stuff in a shop in Souderton calledArt on the Hill. It's like a little, like really cool local gallery. I got some stuff in there. The lady really nice.

Shows are kind of sporadic. I do those. I'm trying to do more of them. Cause like, I, I also have a full-time job that pays my bills. So with the time that I have outside of that, any like the Philly markets, I think there's some coming up like punk rock, flea markets. But any little DIY shows or like local scene I'll do anything small to big.

So but social media is like the big thing, Instagram.

[00:25:02] Trista, Host: Yeah, it seems like with Instagram, there's now a way for you to put yourself out there without having to be accepted into a gallery and shows, I mean, you know, 20, 30, 40 years ago, that was how you got seen. If you weren't in a show, if you weren't in a gallery, nobody knew your stuff.

And then I think, yeah, absolutely. And I think that there, the it with the Instagram and, and other mediums, it's so much easier to get your work out. So,

[00:25:30] Ben Robinson, Botanical Funk: absolutely. Yeah, it almost seems like before then, like, like how did they do it before that? And you know what I mean? Because it's like, I don't know. You have to really like, be out there physically putting in the time.

And that's like kind of what the markets and like shows are. Or be

super

[00:25:45] Trista, Host: creative, like Banksy

[00:25:48] Ben Robinson, Botanical Funk: or do something completely off the wall. That'd be like to go viral in that sense. But yeah, it's pretty crazy. Pretty crazy.

[00:25:55] Trista, Host: Well, you mentioned that this is not your full-time gig. You have a full-time gig that pays your bills, but yet you're still pursuing art.

When we spoke. Previous to this. You said that you did learn a little bit about the business of the art scene in art school. Is it worth it like being an artist, putting yourself out there doing this grind, like in addition to your full-time job?

[00:26:21] Ben Robinson, Botanical Funk: Yeah. That's the, that's the question right there. I mean, I surely that's an everyday struggle cause it's the balance is like, it seems impossible at times, you know what I mean?

Like. Because the cost of living is so high. And then, you know, everyone's got different financial circumstances, but yeah, like to, it's just, you gotta be realistic with it too. Like these creative kind of paths that people take musicians, you know, authors. So be it it's like. Yukon a teeter-totter with like the wild, essentially.

It is two full-time gigs. Like I feel like I have two full-time jobs, like, which is tough, but it's just a, no, I struggle with it all the time, because it's like, you need your time. Your time is valuable to do what you want to do and create it. And you need that time to like, advance your interests and like create avenues in that sense.

But at the same time, you got to devote time to a job financial career that. Pays your bills and keeps you afloat because you know, you hear the success stories all the time where people like that will just quit their job and like hit the road and like make, be successful. But like, I don't, that's not really crazy realistic.

Like that's like a few amount. And like, I mean, it's definitely possible, but I don't know as like a painter and like an illustrator, you gotta be realistic. Like, I would love to quit my job and do this full-time and like really see what, what can happen from it. But. You know what I mean? That could really set you up for a bad spot.

But like, I don't know. At the same time I contradict myself all the time. Like you got to take risks to get where you got to go. So like maybe that's a calculated risk. But I think it's worth it to get back to your question. I do. Like, because especially if you're like just working a job just to get by, but you have other passions and interests, like you can't let those die.

That's that's a constant inner dialogue of mine.

[00:28:13] Trista, Host: Yeah, sure. I mean, we all have those constant conversations that keep bubbling back to the surface

I love your, your commitment to your passion. I mean, it's so clear to me now, do you have any artwork for our video friends that you can share? Do you have anything nearby that you can

[00:28:30] Ben Robinson, Botanical Funk: show us? Yeah. Have the keeping the license plate deem. I have the one that I have left here.

So, like I said, the license plates, they are probably like between that and like the broken skateboards, they con they are the most popular. And like, I really like, I really like painting on them, honestly.

[00:28:48] Trista, Host: explain this to our audio audience and then they can find it on Instagram.

[00:28:55] Ben Robinson, Botanical Funk: This one's pretty cool.

I was on super wild too. So it's got the, an old Pennsylvania license plate. And like I was saying, it's got like, you've got a friend in Pennsylvania. Like, I, I think they should bring that stuff back. Like, they're so much more unique. Like some of them say like the Keystone state or like, have like cool little things.

But but yeah, this one is obviously I'm a big sports guy too. So like any Philly sports. So Pennsylvania, I got the flyers mascot gritty on there with like, kind of like. Octopus tentacle situation coming out of the middle and then like the Keystone shape is part of the license plate. So that's why I'm like, yeah, like the license plate itself brings like its own elements that you can incorporate.

And then what I want to put into it. So but yeah, this one's pretty cool. She's like, you know, kind of busting up like an old hockey player, that gritty clinicals thing, and everyone loves gritty and Philly. So it's like a, it's an easy subject matter to kind of create off of, you know,

[00:29:53] Trista, Host: Yeah, I think that was the first one I saw on Instagram that had me connect with you.

So it's definitely a very, very cool one. So it'd be easy to find. Just look for the octopus. You've got a first friend in Pennsylvania plate. If you want to see it close up on the, on the Instagram,

[00:30:10] Ben Robinson, Botanical Funk: that's on a website too. Like my website is pretty much like whatever I create, I put on there. Instagram I'm always like progress pictures.

Life around the studio kind of deal. But like I said, they they're pretty popular, which I'm really grateful for. Like the feedback's been great. I would love to have like, just a series of like 20 of them, but again, that comes back to having time to do it and like all this stuff, but yeah, there, there are tons of fun.

I love, I love.

[00:30:36] Trista, Host: That's awesome. So what's in the works for you. What's coming up in the time that you do have to dedicate on your art. What are you going to be working on in the near future?

[00:30:45] Ben Robinson, Botanical Funk: I'm working on a lot of new paintings actually. But I kind of dabbled between the both of like recycled surfaces and the traditional.

So I actually have a few like traditional paintings I'm working on kind of bigger size. And then I'm always trying to like dabble and kind of picking the. Kind of like the material goods, like kind of like a shirt. Like I got the cert on right now, bamboo guy. So I eventually want to dabble into like apparel.

I'm a big sticker guy. I'm always making stickers. Just got into making pins, which are really cool. Like enamel pins. People love those. And they're. Pretty fun too. Like there's the quality of those things is unbelievable, but I'm just always trying to push and like find new fun things to paint on and like kinda break up the, the norm here of just like seeing like a table of just like prince and, you know, like it's just rinse and repeat kind of a lot out here.

Not dissing anyone. Like, I love to see it personally, but I've been paying on like cigar boxes. The broken skateboards is still a big thing. I think I might do like planners, like kinda incorporate like the botanical side more with like some pots and things like, things like that. Oh, anything, it's a day-to-day thing, whatever catches my eye or I'm like, oh, that'd be kinda cool to paint on and like some different, so it comes and goes wherever the, whatever the day brings.

[00:32:03] Trista, Host: Yeah. I love that. You're definitely fully immersed. And the process. And like you said, you follow what inspires you, but you also do commissioned work to, right?

[00:32:14] Ben Robinson, Botanical Funk: I do. Yeah. I love doing commissions. I'm I'm pretty much like any art endeavor or like message someone, you know, throws out to me. I'll do like, I've done.

Like a lot of my stuff is surreal kind of psychedelic base, but I've can do like realistic portraits. Like I've done a lot of pet portraits, surprisingly, which is pretty funny and cool. A lot of license plate commissions from like, cause I'm like obviously Philly, PA base, like a lot of it's those plates, but I've done a lot of like other states, which is really cool.

Yeah, I'll do anything, honestly. Typography digital work. It's just like anything that's associated with, like that realm I'm in to just to like, get me out of what I'm doing, you know? So, cause it's you know, it's taxing the restaurant world, but it is what it is. That's just one of the people in it.

So I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna complain, you know? Yeah.

[00:33:07] Trista, Host: You could be grateful for it. It pays the bills. It has its place in your life. And like you said, the balance is really important and it sounds like you. Maybe sometimes struggle with it, but that you work to keep that balance so that you can have the inspiration, because if you're totally like squished down by stress and upset from your job, you'll never create.

So you have to be maintaining that

[00:33:31] Ben Robinson, Botanical Funk: inner peace. Like that'll take, like that'll make you not want to paint and draw, or like, that'll just. Yeah, that'll take you in a direction that I don't, I don't want to go and I don't think anyone should be, should let that happen, honestly, but it's so easy to be like, so in, in what you are, and just like lose track of what's going on, but yeah, I love the commissions.

I did a a license plate commission for this. I don't know if they're still in business. I don't think they made it through COVID, but I did like license plate plates for them. So like they would make the food and put the food on the license plate. It was kind of like an apocalypse. Like themed restaurant, it was in the safe.

Yeah. So it was like, you know, apocalyptic, you know, if you were out in the wild, there was nothing to eat food off of you grab a license plate and put it on there. So I did like 40 of them. I'll have to send you pictures, but. Yeah, that's this kind of gets back to like, I'll do any commissions, like anything.

Cause that alone can like spark a new avenue or like someone coming to me with like a pet portrait could like be influenced for something else. You know what I mean? Like that I want to do down the road. So I really have like no limitations. Like I kind of take pride in being able to like do whatever or at least.

Accepting the challenge of doing any content or any projects. So done a lot of fun ones. So yeah, people hit me up for any fun, funny commission.

[00:34:50] Trista, Host: That's awesome. Well, I have to say, I have so enjoyed learning about your process and your creative outlets, and I'm glad that the license plate thing brought us together.

So I just really appreciate you being here. I'm going to have all the ways people can connect with you. On your Instagram, your website. And anything else that we have that we can show off your work. So that'll all be in the show notes. So people should go check out all of this work that Ben does, all of his art.

He's amazing. And it really, it, it stays with you because it's so unique. So I love the work that you're doing and I appreciate you sharing it on my podcast.

[00:35:31] Ben Robinson, Botanical Funk: Yeah. Thank you for reaching out out of nowhere. It's like, this is awesome. I had no idea you were doing this. This is like a real unique podcast.

This is awesome. So, ah,

[00:35:39] Trista, Host: thanks. Yeah, absolutely. So I always like to end with turning the tables and see, do you have a question for me that you'd like to ask?

[00:35:47] Ben Robinson, Botanical Funk: I see the the tapestry in the background, a little funky chameleon.

Do you have any like art interests either? Is there any, like an artistic side and you obviously, you said you're writing a novel, like what do you what's the creative side of you?

[00:35:57] Trista, Host: I have a very musical family, so I grew up, you know, the song she could sing before she could talk. She could dance before she could walk.

Is that a Fleetwood? Yeah. So that was me with singing. I could, I was singing and harmonizing. I love doing the harmony parts. So that's my favorite. I don't sing too much anymore, but I definitely have always loved being able to do that. I was in a sixties band when I worked in Manhattan about 20 years ago.

Wow. And I've sung at weddings. And I was actually, I don't know if you can see the album here. Yeah. So that was from when I was a senior in high school, I was in , Hicksville, long island. And my choir director was the choir director that said to Billy Joel, you know what, dude, you've got something here.

You should go. So they stayed in con in contact. Cause that's where he went to high school. He didn't graduate from Hicksville, but that's where he went. And so my choir director was. Retiring that year. And he was asked to do the harmony to write the harmony part for Leningrad from the Stormfront album.

And he chose a group of us and we went into Manhattan into the studio and we hung out with Billy Joel and Mick Jones. And we laid down this harmony tracks. So that's the music signed by everybody that was there.

So if you ever, if you own the album, go look at the credits with members of the Hicksville high school choir. That's me.

And the novel thing just sort of happened recently, I have these really, really vivid dreams. And I've always said, if I could remember these dreams, they would be epic, like multi series books or movies. Celebrities would play them. I mean, they're just so vivid and detailed and the stories and characters are so well-developed for my dreams, you know, I can relate.

So I said, if I could ever remember them, Yeah, that I would, I would be an amazing writer. And so I, I just kind of through a series of serendipitous events, I decided to be open to it. And so I'll wake up at like three, four in the morning, which is a really inspired time to create. And I just started, if I would wake up, I would get up and I would write and see what happened.

And the next thing I knew, I had like 150,000. Maybe not quite that it's like 140,000 words written down in no particular order. Just the order it comes when I'm up at that time, I did put it down a few months ago. Cause I had some stuff happening in my family that I've been kind of like avoiding dealing with my emotions.

And if you're not dealing with your emotions, then you're not allowing your creativity either. Like, I feel like they come from the same place. So if I'm shut down over here, I've also shut down over there. Don't let

[00:38:58] Ben Robinson, Botanical Funk: it pass you by.

[00:39:01] Trista, Host: That's awesome. It's been amazing talking to you. I really enjoyed it. We kind of went off the rails with the topic because you don't have a vanity plate. But I'm glad we did, because I love how you are bringing focus to license plates in a completely different way than people think.

And being part of the, I guess you could call it the license plate culture. Now with this podcast, I'm opened up to so many different ways that license plates show up, especially creatively and yours is very, very cool. So thanks for being on.

[00:39:35] Ben Robinson, Botanical Funk: Yeah, thank you so much. This was a ton of fun. I I appreciate this was awesome.

Thank you.

[00:39:40] Trista, Host: All right. Have a good rest of your day. Thanks Ben.

[00:39:42] Ben Robinson, Botanical Funk: Thanks you too.

Thanks for listening. Please subscribe to Trista's plate story podcast, share it, or leave a review. If you would like to nominate a license plate to be featured in a future episode or you have an interesting plate story news item to share with me, leave us a comment or visit plate story.com. That's P L number 8. story.com and give me all the details.

This is Trista polo wishing you well on the road to your next adventure.

SNDE - Plate 75 with FnancialBuzz.com Ice Cream Tasting Winner Amy Dwyer

trista@iwokeupawesome.com (Trista Polo) — Mon, 24 Jan 2022 08:15:02 GMT

SNDE - Plate 75 with Amy Dwyer

Today we are talking with Amy Dwyer from Boston. Amy gives “The Scoop on Real Estate” by injecting her personality into the competitive real estate industry and thinking outside the box for her clients by using her creativity and knowledge. Amy’s unique ability to serve her clients with gregarious know-how puts them at ease just like a scoop of your favorite flavor on a hot summer day.

Recently, Amy was "hired" by FinanceBuzz.com to be an Ice Cream Flavor Evaluation Specialist and was chosen out of 8,000 applicants.

Since 2008 Amy and her family and friends have been visiting various ice cream spots and evaluating them on a 1-5 cone rating scale, an experience dubbed "Ice Cream Wednesday". Amy values experiences over things and has set a goal to have ice cream in all 50 states. 40 down, 10 to go!

Amy's dream would be to have her own tv show driving across the country in her 1971 VW bug sampling the best ice cream and highlighting the local real estate market and culture.

We’ll hear how ice cream became an important theme in her life, her proven manifesting techniques and even experience her taste testing the flavor of the week we recorded. scooponrealestate.com

Enjoy this episode and want to buy me a cup of coffee? https://www.buymeacoffee.com/pl8story

Connect with Amy:

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FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

SNDE

[00:00:00] Trista, Host: This is Trista polo and I'm here with this week's plate story. Today we are talking with Amy Dwyer from Boston. Amy gives the scoop on real estate by injecting her personality into the competitive real estate industry and thinking outside the box for her clients, by using her creativity and knowledge, Amy's unique ability to serve her clients with gregarious. Know-how puts them at ease, just like a scoop of your favorite flavor on a hot summer day.

Recently Amy was hired by finance buzz.com. To be an ice cream flavor evaluation specialist and was chosen out of 8,000 applicants. Since 2008, Amy and her family and friends have been visiting various ice cream spots. And evaluating them on a one to five cone rating scale. And experience dubbed "ice cream Wednesday.

Amy values, experiences over things and has set a goal to have ice cream in all 50 states. 40 down 10 to go. Amy's dream would be to have her own TV show driving across country in her 1971 VW bug. Sampling the best ice cream and highlighting the local real estate market and culture. We'll hear how ice cream became an important theme in her life.

Her proven manifesting techniques and even experience her taste testing the flavor of the week we recorded. But first some plate story news. If you know me, then, you know, I've gotten really into new media platform, Instagram reels. I'm even dipping my toe into Tik TOK. It's the perfect arena for me to combine my improv experience, marketing knowledge and video editing. Plus it goes great with my short attention span.

Recently a woman on TikTok went viral, opening her Maine vanity plate that gave a nod to Schitt's creeks. Famous saying Eww David. It may be no coincidence that the sound clip mashup of this famous quote is getting a lot of play in videos on both TikTok and Instagram platforms. The TikTok video is just her opening her plates and laughing about her choice.

We choose vanity plates for lots of reasons. And making us smile is a big one. I interviewed the owner of the Eww David played in Wisconsin last year. And for her, it was more about knowing and owning who she really is. This is also a very popular motivation behind vanity plate choice. You can check out the Eww David episode to hear her story on my podcast. And if anyone can connect me to the Maine Eww David plate owner, I would love to share her story on a future episode. But for now. Let's go talk plates, ice cream, and manifesting the life of your dreams with Amy.

Welcome to this week's episode. I'm super excited to have Amy Dwyer from Massachusetts. Her license plate is S N D E for Sunday. Sounds delicious. And I'm excited. Welcome. Thank you

[00:03:03] Amy Dwyer: so much Trista.

[00:03:05] Trista, Host: I'm excited to have you. So we always like to start with the vanity plates story. So tell me the story behind why you chose Sunday for your license plate.

[00:03:14] Amy Dwyer: So two years ago I bought my dream car. I had always wanted a 1971 Volkswagen bug convertible. We have the same born on date, a few. And I found this car and fell madly in love with it. I also happened to completely love, and I'm very passionate about ice cream and I take the car a lot out for a Sunday drive if you will play on words.

So it Massachusetts, when you love it, when you have an antique plate, you're only allowed four characters. So I obsessed about what was the perfect vanity plate for this car. And it came down to, you know, what. Sunday car for Sunday drives and going out for ice cream sundaes. So I just had to abbreviate it down to S N D E and people always ask me, like, I'm sure anybody else with a vanity plate?

What does it mean? What does it stand for? But that's, that's how I got there and I'm thrilled with my choice.

[00:04:11] Trista, Host: I love it. And so do you find that people can guess what it means that it stands for Sunday? Or do you usually have to tell them.

[00:04:18] Amy Dwyer: I usually have to tell them, cause some people say, oh, is your name Sandy?

No,

the whole story. And it makes sense again, I was kind of limited by the characters and then even some other stuff, like I thought about getting IC RM, but it was already too.

[00:04:35] Trista, Host: I actually found you through an article that I saw online.

And there was a contest that you won having to do with ice cream. What, what was that? Sure.

[00:04:46] Amy Dwyer: So probably like late spring, early summer, somebody, one of my Facebook friends had tagged me in a post and there was a contest.

The company or the website it's called finance buzz. And they were looking for somebody to be an ice cream flavor evaluation specialist, which is a fancy name for, I get paid to eat ice cream.

[00:05:10] Trista, Host: I mean best job ever.

[00:05:13] Amy Dwyer: And I immediately applied online and you know, why are you the right person? And one of my things about being passionate about ice cream is, well, Hey, I've got a Sunday car and it's really, really cool to look at too.

So I applied and there was 8,000 applicant. And miraculously I won. And what they said was that the thing that came through the most was actually like the deal breaker for them was the license plate and the car together. And that was that was the winter.

[00:05:43] Trista, Host: That's so great because you also incorporate the whole ice cream theme into your business.

You're a real estate agent, right. So, I mean, you're definitely all about ice cream and I would see why they would want to choose you for that job. Yes. Yup.

[00:06:01] Amy Dwyer: Part of the job is that they, they paid me a thousand dollars and I have to try 50 different Ben and Jerry's flavors over the course of a year.

[00:06:11] Trista, Host: Are there 50 flavors because I didn't even know they had. There's certainly not 50 flavors in my local grocery store. And

[00:06:21] Amy Dwyer: that's exactly the point. So when they originally, they were originally going to send me a gift card to a local grocery store, and I had to like call the frozen food manager and say, how many different flavors do you have?

And I had called a bunch of different stores and like the most was Wagman's I think. And they had like 20 or 30 flavors. So they ended up sending me a gift card. One of those really cute custom visas, and they actually put a picture of the bug with the license plate on the visa. I can go anywhere. I want So I, it's funny, so different ice cream distributors, I guess, distribute different ice cream flavors. So anytime I see limited edition or special batch, I scoop it up pun intended and put it in the freezer. So like right now this morning I had six different flavors of Ben and Jerry's in the.

[00:07:10] Trista, Host: Wow.

And so where are you finding all of these? So obviously Wegman's a great place to get a lot of different ones, but where are you going to find the other half of the flavors that you need to scoop up?

[00:07:23] Amy Dwyer: So I'm looking, I'm actually Googling like Ben and Jerry's near me and I'm seeing what flavors that pops up.

So target, for example my boyfriend went to target last night to get like paper towels and stuff like that, and came home with a new flavor, which today's Wednesday. So I'm supposed to be sampling my ice cream on Wednesdays, and I'm actually going to be sampling this new flavor that I had not had or heard of

[00:07:42] Trista, Host: before.

This is exciting. So we are going to do some live Gerry sampling right in this episode, which is super exciting. So if you're listening to the episode, go check out the video. Because not only is there a very cool license plate backdrop. But you're going to get to see the sampling done, like right here.

Do we want to just jump in and do it right now? Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do it. Okay. So you're getting it out of your little cooler, a little cool. And how many flavors do you have for us today that you're going to be sampling? So just one flavor. Okay.

[00:08:20] Amy Dwyer: So usually what I do is I pick one flavor. I sample it on a Wednesday and then on Thursday they send me like a Google form and I fill it out.

So they give me a one to 10 rating scale. The flavor that I had. And then any comments, so usually I'll write three or four sentences about about what it is. So this one, I, like I said, it's called Gimme S'More.

[00:08:41] Trista, Host: Okay. Okay. Can you read the description?

[00:08:43] Amy Dwyer: This is toasted marshmallow ice cream with chocolate cookie swirls gram cracker, swirls and fudge flakes.

[00:08:50] Trista, Host: That sounds amazing.

[00:08:53] Amy Dwyer: And apparently somebody got into it last night,

[00:08:56] Trista, Host: I guess it's been pre sampled. Yeah, exactly.

You're not doing this for Ben and Jerry's company. You're doing this for finance buzz. So these are real reviews, honest reviews. Just your impressions of what you think I have to ask you. Have you had any so far that you didn't like what? I didn't think you would say yes.

[00:09:18] Amy Dwyer: So I there's this cream ice cream, however, there's certain flavors that. I don't like, so for example, I love peanut butter. I'll stick a spoon into a VAT of peanut butter and I'll eat it right off the spoon. I'll have a peanut butter sandwich, but peanut butter and ice cream. No, thanks. Okay. There was one that I tried the other day and probably half of your listeners will be horrified by this.

My name is Amy and I've never had a pumpkin spice latte, and I believe that pumpkins are for decorating and I don't like pumpkin.

[00:09:53] Trista, Host: Wow. Right. You said that on a recording, like people are gonna hear you

[00:09:59] Amy Dwyer: and I'm okay with it. Like, I'll take my stance on it. Yeah, that's perfect. So two weeks ago I had pumpkin cheesecake ice cream and Nope.

Just, no, my son was like, mom, this is great.

[00:10:14] Trista, Host: You're like, well, you're not the tester. So why would you get a pumpkin flavored ice cream to test? If you don't like pumpkin, do you have to try all different kinds? Like, what was your thought process about

[00:10:26] Amy Dwyer: my thought process was maybe I'll take a second bite at it.

Maybe I'll like this pumpkin flavored, whatever. I'm still a no, it's kind of like Like Buffalo tenders or whatever. I realize half the world loves Buffalo tenders. I don't like spicy foods. Yet last week we were traveling and we were in New Mexico and there was at the ice cream place that I tried, there was red chili and green chili ice cream.

Again, I don't like spicy food yet. I felt compelled to try it or a New

[00:11:01] Trista, Host: Mexico it's of course local.

[00:11:05] Amy Dwyer: And it was still spicy. And I still do. I didn't really like

[00:11:08] Trista, Host: it still didn't like it, but it's good that you're still willing. You're open. You'll try anything just to see. So with that, let's try this Gimme S'More. Okay. So there's the ice cream on the video.

[00:11:21] Amy Dwyer: so we'll take a little bite. Oh. And I always use a fork when I try.

Because I feel like if there's chunks of something in there, I can, it's not going to slide off the spoon.

I've got a better control

[00:11:30] Trista, Host: over it. A good tip from an ice cream expert, which is, let's hear your impressions. How is it so

[00:11:38] Amy Dwyer: far? First bite sweet. Sweet is the answer. So although I love sweet things, sometimes there's too much sweetness flavor.

[00:11:50] Trista, Host: Yeah. What's the balance of sweetness in this one. Okay. I think it's a lot of

[00:11:59] Amy Dwyer: marshmallow ice cream, which is what I'm tasting.

It definitely tastes like marshmallow, which is kind of

[00:12:04] Trista, Host: cool. Yeah. Let's say toasted. Marshmallow was the first part of the description, right? Yeah.

[00:12:09] Amy Dwyer: Toasted marshmallow chocolate, cookie swirls, Graham cracker, swirls, and fudge. Yeah, not really finding the chocolate cookie swirls or the Graham crackers

[00:12:20] Trista, Host: right now.

Okay. There's a lot of marshmallow. Yeah. Hmm. When you're test thing, how much do you typically eat? Cause you're taking it right out of the container. Like, do you get a whole full serving or is it like a wine tester or you're only supposed to take a little bit

[00:12:36] Amy Dwyer: I, I think my answer is I eat until I feel like I'm really understanding it because with every bite you're going to get something different.

So like this one I could probably eat more than I should. And it's, it's pretty good. I,

[00:12:54] Trista, Host: I would probably

[00:12:55] Amy Dwyer: want to sample it later and I actually wish I had Graham crackers with me to dip into it.

[00:13:01] Trista, Host: Oh, Okay, that's great. That's a really good review. Now is this one of the limited additions? It's called a fan favorite.

Okay. It is the first, that's a mouthful. It is the first fan

[00:13:16] Amy Dwyer: favorite. But I've had a lot of that limited edition or whatever

[00:13:21] Trista, Host: else.

Awesome. That's so fun. It's so fun and random and cool. And it goes perfectly with your car and your plate and your brand. So any last words about the ice cream before we pivot.

[00:13:34] Amy Dwyer: I will definitely be trying it again after dinner, just to make sure I really

[00:13:37] Trista, Host: understood. I understand that. Right. You got to, and maybe even after dinner, it'll land differently because it's a dessert after a savory meal, versus just kind of like at a random time in the middle of the afternoon.

Not that

[00:13:50] Amy Dwyer: I can't eat ice cream at random times of all,

[00:13:54] Trista, Host: I have to know how did your whole ice. Thing start. Do you remember like how this all started? I

[00:14:02] Amy Dwyer: do. And this is where it, it hits her. In 2008, I went back to school to get my masters. I had two little kids. I was working three part-time jobs, going to school full time and running around like a chicken with my head cut off.

And I remember my daughter saying to me, can we go get ice cream? And I was like, I don't have time. I don't know. I'm too busy. I'm too busy. As we all are. And she was, can we go get ice cream? Can we go get ice cream? And finally reluctantly kind of annoyed almost. It was like, fine, we'll go get ice cream.

And I remember going around, like it was maybe two blocks away. There was a local ice cream place and we went and we just kind of sat down. I put my phone down and I was present with my children and it was just this, the ice cream. Wasn't great. But it was the, the time that I had created with. And as we were leaving, my daughter just kind of harmlessly said, you know, I wish we could get ice cream every Wednesday.

And it was like this light bulb moment. And I said, you know what? We can. So from then on every Wednesday, over the summer, I would take my kids to different local ice cream places. We had a one to five cone rating system and we would scoop out the time to be present with each other. And it really became something that was affordable.

In your planning, the event, let's research, the ice cream places let's go and we're excited. And back then you would scrapbook it. And it was, it was great. And then friends started to come and then family would start to come. And then it grew to, let's go to different places in new England. And then I said, Hey, you know what?

I think I want to have ice cream in all 50 states. So last Wednesday I checked state number 41 off the off the list in

[00:15:52] Trista, Host: New Mexico. Oh my God. That's so cool. That's why you had the spicy

[00:15:56] Amy Dwyer: chili ice cream. Exactly. It was.

[00:16:01] Trista, Host: Yes, that's amazing. Oh my gosh. I love that story because you're right. It doesn't even matter how the ice cream was.

It was about the time with your kids and taking a break from the hustle and the bustle. A huge amount of things you had on your plate. And, and like you said, like carving out scooping out that time. Yeah. And so you're still doing it to this day. How long ago was that? That that first ice cream,

[00:16:29] Amy Dwyer: Wednesday, 2008, nine, 10.

I'd have to go. Okay. I don't really remember. And now it's kind of a, a, more of an annual trip as opposed to let's go get ice cream. But whenever we're getting together with our best friends, it's, Hey, let's go meet for ice cream. And sometimes we'll take the card, the team that my teenagers are like, I'm not getting in their car.

They don't necessarily think it's cool and that's fine. But it has become more of a. A destination for our summer vacations. So each one of our summer vacations for the past few years have been centered around different states that I have not had ice cream in. And then we do a little bit of ice cream, a little bit of nature, some baseball parks, and it turns into this great summer road trip.

[00:17:20] Trista, Host: That's awesome. I love that. You know what else? I really love, but it wasn't on Sundays when you started. No, it wasn't right. It wasn't, it was on Wednesday. So it was ice cream Wednesdays. And I don't know. I just, I love that. Well that's really very cool. So thank you for sharing that story. Now I mentioned this really briefly at the beginning, but you're a real estate agent.

And a pretty good one from what I can tell by Googling you online. Tell me about your real estate experience, your expertise and why you chose that as your career.

[00:17:54] Amy Dwyer: Sure. So when I was actually getting my masters, I was bartending was one of my part-time jobs and a woman came in and we kind of got to be friendly.

And she said, have you ever thought about being a real estate agent? No. And she said, teachers make really great realtors. I was teaching part-time at the time and I gave my two weeks notice and I said, this sounds like a good idea. And eight and a half years later, here we are. It's funny. So in real estate or in any sales business, it's about taught Mindshare and recognition in that regard.

So knowing that a lot of people associate me with ice cream. You know, people post them, tag me in Facebook posts people I've never met before, like saw this about ice cream and thought of you, which is a really cool feeling. And I made it part of my branding giving you the scoop on real estate.

So I have a really cool ice cream logo that someone did for me. And it's got, you know, houses and it's colorful and an ice cream pin drop on the top. And I. And the color and the background is actually the same color as my bug. So it all kind of ties in together. I

[00:19:03] Trista, Host: love that you got to have the branding across the board so that it's consistent.

Brilliant. May

[00:19:10] Amy Dwyer: I share you with you? A funny story, actually chorus. So when we were traveling last week in New Mexico, we were at, I don't even know where we were like middle of nowhere, some completely back road. And I've been trying to think, how do I, what else can I do with this ice cream thing? Because I'm so passionate about it.

And it just, it makes me happy. Like it makes me smile. When I think about. So my big believer in signs or synchronicities, I think some people call them. So we were literally in the middle of nowhere and we stumbled upon something out of, you know, that TV show, American pickers. Yeah. So there was like all these old gas stations and there's, it was gas pumps rather.

And there was so much junk on several acres of land. So we're walking through. Here we are in the middle of nowhere. And what do I see

[00:20:07] Trista, Host: my bug? Oh my goodness.

[00:20:10] Amy Dwyer: In the middle of New Mexico. And I'm looking around like of all of the junk that is at this guy's property or whatever you want to call it here is literally the same color of my bug, everything.

And it was one of those things where I kind of looked at it like, huh? Maybe this is the world, Trent, you know, the universe trying to tell you something I dunno if it's pick up and move to New Mexico, but it's it's right here in front of me. And there was just so much ice cream memorabilia that he had and any place we went.

Are you familiar, have you ever heard of a reticular activating system?

[00:20:48] Trista, Host: No.

[00:20:50] Amy Dwyer: So my understanding is it's it's something in the back of your brain and it's like, if you went and bought a purple car, suddenly you're driving down the street and everybody has a purple car.

[00:21:02] Trista, Host: Oh, I didn't realize that's what that was called.

Okay, great. Yes, I'm with ya.

[00:21:07] Amy Dwyer: So any place I went, even in New Mexico. People were talking about ice cream, we would walk into a place and somebody be like, oh yeah, you know, I had great ice cream over there, or, you know, I I'm on a diet and I can't eat ice cream and I'm looking around, like somebody tried to tell me something.

So it was really it was

[00:21:27] Trista, Host: really cool. So what do you, what do you take from that? Because I know when we spoke before in preparation for this episode, you told me that you really are all about manifesting. And that you really do follow the signs once you've declared something to be, what do you take from that?

What's your interpretation? So

[00:21:51] Amy Dwyer: I have had this concept of ice-cream Wednesday in my brain for in practice even for over 10 years. And I've put my foot on the gas and I've taken it off and I put my foot on the gas and I've taken it off. And I have a whole business concept, I guess, behind ice cream, Wednesday.

And I think it's time that I, I, I do something with it. Probably five years ago I had had a small idea about it and I thought I'd be cool. And I would submit my idea to Charlotte. And, you know, I didn't have any sales or anything like that, but nonetheless, they called me and they said they get like over 35,000 applicants every year.

So the fact that I even got a call from shark tank, right. I was like, woo. Yeah. Cool. But there's just something bigger. I think I have a bigger purpose and not that I don't enjoy and love selling real estate and helping people to start that next chapter. There's just something bigger and more purposeful that I feel like I need to do.

And I, I think it's related to ice cream and the experiences that are surrounding it. I'm a big believer in experiences over things. You know, if you asked my kids what they got for Christmas in 2017, What are they going to tell me a pair of flannel pajama bottoms? I have no idea, but if you ask them about the ice cream that we got in Detroit or the ice cream that we got in Phoenix, they're going to be able to tell you about where it was, the experience surrounding it, and that's way more important and way more valuable to me.

[00:23:31] Trista, Host: Wow. I love that. So do you actually have. Business idea in place in your mind, or are you still kind of, so

[00:23:40] Amy Dwyer: I it's like going shopping for the perfect recipe. I know where I want to get this ingredient and I have this ingredient and I know this is going to be a great idea. I'm a really I'm really great at ideas and big picture thinking, and I need to find some help to bringing that to a concept.

[00:24:00] Trista, Host: I wish you all the success in the world and you're a manifestor so if you say it to be true, you're really good at creating your life. . Tell me a little about your process. Because there's so many people who believe in the law of attraction, the secret and whatever you want to call it.

But then when it comes to implementing it, it's a completely different matter because we get in our own way with our belief or our resistance to actually receiving or whatever it is. So tell us a little bit about your process. How do you use manifestation in your life and. What tips or tools have really helped you increase your effectiveness?

[00:24:41] Amy Dwyer: So I think that in my experience, even with myself and with others the biggest thing that gets in the way, in my opinion is fear. Fear that other people are going to judge you, you know, for wanting something big or thinking bigger and. You start to self doubt, that fear and that self-doubt my D my father calls it, fear, doubt, and insecurity.

And that's the stuff that puts that negative energy out there. And, oh my goodness. If that's not true, I don't know. Is this really something I can do? Is it really something I can believe? What would other people think of me or other people are going to think this is a stupid idea? Well guess what, here I am loving on ice cream and I'm talking to you and you found me on the internet and I was on the front page of the local newspaper, and I got a call from a local radio station to do an interview.

Okay. Let me tell you, there's not a lot of people who would get, you know, like if, if I asked my mom, she'd be like, that's ridiculous. You can't, you can't make a career out of ice cream. Right? Hold my cone.

I think that if you I'm a big I I'd love vision boards. I am not at my office right now, but I love vision boards. And when I go back and look at my vision boards, I kind of, whoa, I didn't realize that was there. And I even put it on there. And here we are five, six years later and it was like, I had a car that I had put on it.

One of them was the bug and then one of them was my everyday car and I put it on a vision board probably four years ago. And I ended up buying that car last year and I had forgotten all about it. And when I went back and looked at, look at it, it was like, well, wait a minute. He, this is what I'm driving around in now.

Well, who knew? And it's just that positive. It's a visualization for me. And if I can visualize it, picture it, feel it, and then it creates that energy that goes with it. I think that's really what is the secret sauce to doing it.

[00:26:45] Trista, Host: Yeah. That makes a lot of sense. And I always think about the process, ask for what you want, believe you deserve it, and then take the inspired action steps toward it.

And the belief piece is the. Because your belief in whether you deserve it. And I love that you point to fear because I'm thinking imposter syndrome, it's fear. It's just all about fear, self doubt. It's fear that you deserve it or not. Like it's all fear-based. So I love that you just honed in on just it's the fear.

The fear is really what stops us. That's really great. Now you mentioned your car. Do you have any other examples of things that you've manifested successfully? So

[00:27:29] Amy Dwyer: growing up in new England and Massachusetts everybody talks about Cape Cod and, you know, Cape Cod is like the summer destination. Everyone goes to down, down the Cape is what we call it, you know?

And I had always, always, always in my life, wanted a house on Cape Cod real estate's expensive on Cape Cod. Last summer, the summer of 2020. We were, my boyfriend's family is from the Cape and I very reluctantly agreed to go on a walk. It was July 4th, it was hotter than hot. I didn't have sneakers. I didn't want to leave the house.

Like my friend said, come on, let's go for a walk. So we take the jog and we're walking through this neighborhood. And I remember the feeling of standing in front of this house. And the house was a hot mess, overgrown grass. You could see into the house because it was rotted, trim boards and stuff like that.

And I just looked at it and I'm like, this is my house. And he's looking at me. So I handled it. I hand wrote the owner a letter and she lived in New York. She's in her eighties. And I just said, walking the dog one day and I want to buy your house. If you want to sell it, give me a call, not like crickets.

And I just kept thinking about the house. What would I do with the house? What color would I paint the house? I know what color I paint the house. Oh my God, I do this. And then I can use it as a summer rental, which helps me along financially. And then at the end of, he was probably about two months later, I got an email from this woman and she said, my aunt is in her eighties.

Doesn't email, but she'd like to sell her house will be on the Cape. They lived out of state, like I said we'll be on the Cape in a couple of months, meet us down there. I'm like, I'm buying this house. I don't know how I'm going to do it. I'm buying this house. And the day that I went to the house, I sat and talked with the owner for four hours in this house was.

Hot ness, hot mess, like beautiful red linoleum floors from the seventies. Pink bathroom, like pink tile.

[00:29:33] Trista, Host: Oh my

[00:29:34] Amy Dwyer: goodness. Fantastic. And I sat and talked with her for four hours and I said, I need to have this house. And the woman looked at me. Okay. She basically handed me the keys to the house right then and there, we hadn't signed any paperwork or contracts or anything like that.

And two months later I closed, I closed in January, the house underwent unbelievable. A major renovations. $200,000 in renovations. And I created my dream home on Cape Cod.

[00:30:05] Trista, Host: That's amazing. I don't know if anybody else is thinking this question, but I have to ask, having been a former real estate appraiser, how good a deal did you get on the red linoleum and pink bathroom house?

Yeah. Good deal. Yep. Yep. Good. Which made it worth putting in the 200,000 in renovations. So you could have it be exactly

[00:30:26] Amy Dwyer: what you want. Even recently appraised and I have significant equity in the house and it is the best financial decision I've ever made. I just looked at the house. I was like, this is my

[00:30:41] Trista, Host: house.

That's amazing. Congratulations. I love it. So manifesting, we all want to do it. Those of us that believe it's possible. I think we all get lesser results than we would like fear being the biggest factor. What tips do you have that you could share from your experience?

How do we get rid of the fear? Ignore the fear. Push through the fear. Like the fear is real because it's, it's a survival instinct. So what suggestions do you have having gotten through a lot of that on your own?

[00:31:15] Amy Dwyer: I think for me, a lot of it was rationalizing my fear and you know, what, like, is this. You know, is this really what's going to happen? No. Like what is the worst case scenario? And the worst case scenario is I'm never, I'm not going to die. I'm not going to be homeless. I'm not going to be bankrupt. I mean, those are those basic things.

Like I'm still going to have food on the table. I'm still gonna have ice cream in the freezer. Those are the real. Fears for me, it's the, the, the basic things. And if I can kind of walk through them and sometimes I'm, and again, a visual and I'm very literal. I'll take a piece of paper and you know, is this true or true or false?

And if you can write them down and where do you put them, and when you realize the things that you're putting down that are your fears, You can put them on the false category. And it's a story that you're telling yourself. And that's one of the expressions that I kind of measure my thoughts with. Is this a story you're telling yourself nine times out of 10?

Yes. Is. And then drilling it down to what is really the issue what's really under, underlying your fears or your doubts, your insecurities then can you just say, you know what, I'm just going to put it up on a shelf and I'm going to ignore it. I don't need to, I don't need to attend this right now. You know, just because my brain is inviting me to this fear party, I don't need to attend.

[00:32:39] Trista, Host: Yes. I think I'll stay home instead and have ice cream by myself.

[00:32:44] Amy Dwyer: Exactly.

[00:32:45] Trista, Host: Awesome. So I know you have dogs. I do. I am a dog person. I'm an animal person, but dogs are at the top of my list. And so I just, you have to tell me about your. Oh, my pleasure.

[00:32:59] Amy Dwyer: So I have a seven year old German shepherd.

Her name is Kai, and my boyfriend has a, almost 12 year old English cream, golden retriever named Gus. And it was funny when on our second date, he invited me over, he was going to cook dinner for me, and I had made homemade ice cream for the dogs and we came over. Everything's great. And I'm like, okay, it's time for dessert.

I've got ice cream for the dogs. And of course my dog goes right for it. And his dog was like, wants nothing to do with. Beelines past the ice cream and really, it's just more interested in my dog and my boyfriend goes and reaches down and he looks at his dog. He's like, I'm trying to impress a lady here.

Do you think you could eat the ice cream? You know, like I just want

[00:33:47] Trista, Host: to do me a favor, be my wing man. Like, you're you.

[00:33:51] Amy Dwyer: But actually one of the Ben and Jerry's flavors, that's in the freezer right now is they make dog ice cream too. So I will have the dogs be ice cream flavor, evaluation specialist assistants at some point in time.

[00:34:04] Trista, Host: I love that. Will that be part of the official finance buzz job? Like it'll be posted and stuff. That's awesome. Yeah. So now will you, will you test the dog ice cream? You I'm like, okay. I would not judge you.

[00:34:24] Amy Dwyer: That's a fair question. No, I don't think I will.

[00:34:27] Trista, Host: The, what flavors are they like liver or no?

[00:34:32] Amy Dwyer: Yeah. It's like peanut butter and banana, which are, again, I'm not, if they're not a fan of bananas, so, yeah. But my guess is, and it's funny, the golden retriever will probably eat the entire thing in like two bites, including the wrapper and the German shepherd will take twenty-five minutes, lick by lick and push it around the kitchen floor while she eats it, which is pretty stereotypical of their behaviors.

[00:34:59] Trista, Host: I just love how, and this is one of the things that I love about dogs is they really have very clear personalities.

[00:35:07] Amy Dwyer: So, yeah, yesterday on Facebook, a friend of mine posted, which I thought was hilarious. If your dogs had pockets, what would be in their pockets? And it was just this preposterous thought, but I laugh. Because I'm looking at my two different distinctly different dogs and I'm like, okay, the golden would have like tennis balls, snacks grass sticks.

And the German shepherd would have like a notebook monitoring, everybody's comings and goings, and like photos of like every dog and person in the neighborhood.

[00:35:37] Trista, Host: Yes. Oh my gosh. That's amazing. And you're so right. That's a great question. I love it. Now. I always like to ask my guests, how self-worth has played a role in your journey. So how would you answer that question?

[00:35:52] Amy Dwyer: That is an amazing question. I can look back 10 years ago and I am not the same woman that I was not even close and it might sound silly or cliche.

But the real estate company that I joined literally changed my life personally and professionally it, I grew up with a lot of limitations in the sense of You know, play small, don't do this. Don't think bigger. That's a great dream. That's never going to happen. And I joined my real estate company and it was like, why are you thinking?

So small think bigger. And it was this amazing concept where. I was surrounded by like-minded people and I felt the sense of freedom to think bigger, and then be able to not only think bigger, but to realize that the harder I worked, it was a life by design. And I had the opportunity to create experiences.

I mean, if I was still teaching I would not be able to afford having gone to 41 states to have ice cream. And that has increased my self worth in the real estate community. People look to me to, you know, hold their hand and guide them through the most important financial decision of their life.

That's a pretty big job for some people. And when you're buying or selling a home or even investing in real estate, You're starting a new chapter or ending one, maybe you're going through a divorce. Maybe you're your parents just passed away. Maybe you're looking to build passive income for yourself and I'm that expert.

And people trust me to make that help them and guide them and educate them through that decision making process. And it makes you feel pretty

[00:37:40] Trista, Host: good.

I agree with you. You know, when, when I look back at myself 10 years, 20 years ago, I am not the same person. And so you're, you're, you seem to be like me where you're always looking, like, how can I grow? How can I expand? How can I transform? I'm I'm whole and perfect just as I am.

And I know there's. So, what more am I capable of? That's great.

[00:38:08] Amy Dwyer: I, a hundred percent growing. Not because I'm eating more ice cream. Yes. Growing emotionally, not physically necessarily.

[00:38:17] Trista, Host: Well, let me ask you this question that actually brings up. Are you doing anything to offset the additional calories and let's face it fat that ice cream comes with, especially Ben and Jerry's, that's not a low, it's not a.

[00:38:33] Amy Dwyer: In general, I don't like the gym. And as I've gotten older again, think back to the 1971 bug and the same born on date kind of thing. I've recently started going to the gym like three days a week. I don't love it. I know some people love the gym. I look at it like, yeah, I've got to go to the gym and I do it and it's fine.

So that's my little recent counterbalance, if you will.

[00:39:00] Trista, Host: Yeah. Well, good for you for doing it mindfully. That's awesome.

[00:39:05] Amy Dwyer: I'm going to ask you a question if that's okay.

What is your favorite ice cream experience?

[00:39:08] Trista, Host: I would have to say I have two ice cream memories that are really clear that come to mind. And so I'll share them both. The first one is my husband and I, when we travel, we prefer to be able to bring our dogs with us.

Right now we have a dog and a cat. This memory is with my two dogs who have since passed. One was a German shepherd mix and one was a golden retriever. Come on. I swear. I'm not making it up. Wow. Audrey and Brandy. but We would always take them with us on trips.

And we were, I forget if my husband was here, he would know where we were, but it was some like beach town. And we were walking through the town and we stopped at a little place and we just, it was the four of us, you know, us and our two dogs and we got ice cream for us and we got ice cream for them.

And it was just so fun, like to have them along with us on the trip, meant everything to me. And to have us all be able to enjoy the treat together, meant everything to me. So that's just like a really special memory.

And I still get choked up. When I think about them, it was a big loss when we lost them. They were really members of the family, you know, so that's my first memory. And my second one, I wouldn't say this is like a good memory, but it's definitely a really big memory in my life. So when I was in high school, this was before cold stone Creamery existed. So this was a Coldstone Creamery type ice cream place. It was called white mountain Creamery. And they had a contest that if you could eat. Their largest amount. You'd get a free t-shirt. So we're in high school and so we had the, like the whole, we were like an 80 person class in our high school. And the whole class after school one day goes to white stone Creamery and a guy I ended up dating. I don't know if we were dating at the time, but he was one of the contestants.

And then there was another person that was a contested. And so they were both going to try and finish it, but who could do it the fastest.

And I don't remember my exact role in all of it, but I I'm remembering that I was, I had a more important role than just being a spectator. I don't know if I'm the one that worked it out with the place to let us do the contest or something. But I had some kind of important role that made it really stand out as one of my, you know, bigger memories from my my growing up my youth.

So those are the two ice cream memories that are the most constant in my mind.

[00:41:49] Amy Dwyer: So, and that is one of the things that if you walked up to a hundred people on the street and said, what's your favorite ice cream memory, I'm guessing it would take no more than 30 seconds for most people to be like, oh, I remember this time.

[00:42:06] Trista, Host: Absolutely.

[00:42:07] Amy Dwyer: Right. And I think that's one of the things that brings me joy about it. When we were traveling last week, we were going through this little, teeny, tiny cowboy town and on the side of the building painted in brick. And I love when people paint on brick. It's one of my things. I love it.

And it was Roy's homemade ice cream and I made him pull the car over and I had to go take a picture of it and I peered in the window and it was an old abandoned ice cream. And it looked like nobody had been in there. Five or 10 years in, when I looked into it, it was, it, it almost came to life and Technicolor.

Like I can imagine the sounds and the people chattering in there and the, you know, the screen door slamming as people walked in. And there's, there was actually like a small piece of paper in the window and it said, you know, a business for sale call so-and-so and I'm going to intend to call her more.

So, because I want to know the story behind roy's ice cream. And I think everybody has these ice cream memories and it just triggers joy unless you're lactose intolerant, but that's a different story.

[00:43:17] Trista, Host: Lactose-intolerant people probably have good ice cream memories because there was a time they didn't know they were lactose-intolerant.

Yes.

[00:43:25] Amy Dwyer: And now there's like sorbet and non-dairy and stuff like.

[00:43:30] Trista, Host: have you ever had oat milk ice cream? No, not yet. You should try it. I don't think Ben and Jerry's mixed one, but it's really good. It has kind of that oaty that out essence to it. It's delicious. I

[00:43:44] Amy Dwyer: will try that. Ben and Jerry's does make a non-dairy version.

But I'm an ice cream snob, so. We'll see how it goes, but I will add it to my my lineup. If you.

[00:43:57] Trista, Host: Well, I will say that the oat milk base is better than the coconut or almond. I've tried all three and cause I, I try and stay away from dairy, but not ice cream because you know, come on. And that is my preferred.

Right. So you should see. Yeah. See if Ben and Jerry's has an oat milk based ice cream. And I would love to know your thoughts on that one. If you've tried

[00:44:20] Amy Dwyer: it, make a little more room.

[00:44:25] Trista, Host: Sounds good. Sounds good. It has been so much fun chatting with you and hearing your story and your love of ice cream and how it permeate all areas of your life, which I love. Any final words before we end.

Thank

[00:44:42] Amy Dwyer: you. I it's me. How today I was, you know, I'm kind of like post vacations. And kind of like, nah, what am I going to do? Blah, blah, blah. And even talking about ice cream has raised my energy so much today. I just feel really empowered right now. So

[00:45:02] Trista, Host: thank you for, yes. I feel a higher energy too. I don't know if it's you or the ice cream or both, but definitely I'm leaving this conversation better than I found it.

So thank you for that. Thank you. All right. Have a great.

[00:45:19] Amy Dwyer: Alright, bye.

This is Trista polo wishing you well on the road to your next adventure.

Plate 74 - Vf1SNSX - featuring Jhae Pfenning of Hard Parking Podcast

trista@iwokeupawesome.com (Trista Polo) — Mon, 17 Jan 2022 13:11:59 GMT

PLATE 74 - VF1SNSX - with Jhae Pfenning of Hard Parking Podcast

This is Trista Polo and I’m here with this week’s plate story. Today we are spending some quality time with Jhae Pfenning of Hard Parking Podcast. His car and plate have been iconized as a collector’s item and we’ll hear the story today about why. Jhae works in IT by day and is a podcaster by night. We will talk about the start of his podcast as well as his own origin story, growing up in South Dallas. Whether you are into cars or not, you will enjoy our conversion. Jhae is a dad, husband and like his podcast, he is a non-automotive automotive guy. We’ll hear his story and his thoughts on many things today. https://anchor.fm/hardparkingpodcast. Enjoy this episode and want to buy me a cup of coffee? https://www.buymeacoffee.com/pl8story

Connect with Jhae:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/hardparkingpodcast/

Instagram: JhaePfenning & Jhae_Travels

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- Nominate a plate - https://www.pl8story.com

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Full Episode Transcript:

VF1SNSX

[00:00:00] Trista, Host: This is Trista polo and I'm here with this week's plate story. Today, we're spending some quality time with Jhae Pfenning of Hard Parking Podcast. His car and plate have been iconized as a collector's item. And we'll hear the story today about why. Jhae works in IT by day and is a podcaster by night. We will talk about the start of his podcast as well as his own origin story, growing up in south Dallas. Whether you are into cars or not, you will enjoy our conversation. Jhae is a dad, a husband, and like his podcast, he's a non-automotive automotive guy. We'll hear his story and his thoughts on many things today.

But first, some plate story news. It's the beginning of the year. And so lots of states, DMV offices have received open records, act requests from news agencies. Everyone seems to want to know which vanity plate requests their state rejected last year.

Of the state's reported Colorado seems to have the most at more than 23,000 rejected requests. They really don't like it when you try and put your favorite state attraction on your plate. So VAIL and ASPN are out. But they also don't like references of food and beverage. OVEN PEAR and SOUP being examples.

Pop culture is also not allowed. So TOOL WHACK and LOLZ LOL Z. were excluded. I mean, maybe it's just because they aren't hip enough to approve. And a whole host of others. I can't really figure out why they were rejected. Including GOAL LOVE and BOBA three plates. I would actually love to have on my car.

Ohio and Missouri reported that nearly 400 plates failed to pass approval of each of their states. For many reasons, including if the plate would present an unreasonable danger to the health and safety of the applicant. HTPCKT hot pocket. And QANON are both examples from Missouri. Oregon rejected almost 300 plate requests. They include any vanity plate request that refers to illegal acts alcohol.

And apparently bodily functions, three examples are BUUURP TOOTZ and M3RLOW Georgia rejected about 200 plates, including pandemic plates, sports plates, and anything with a S like VEGANAF. Connecticut rejected about 80 plates, including the plate. IH8CT, which stands for, I hate Connecticut. I mean, would you approve a plate that said it hated you? I probably wouldn't either.

Every state reported that Biden and Trump plates were on the list and were rejected. They also all said, if a plate is found to be offensive after it's approved, It'll be recalled and the car owner will be required to turn it in. So hold onto those plates while you can everyone. And let's go chat with Jhae Pfenning.

Hey there. I'm so excited to have Jhae Pfenning of Hard Parking Podcast from Phoenix, Arizona with us. His license plate is VF 1 S N S X. Welcome Jhae.

[00:03:17] Jhae Pfenning: Thank you, Trista is exciting to be on the show today.

[00:03:23] Trista, Host: It's exciting to have you on the show. Now, before we get into your plate story, I have to say that I've been connected to you since I kind of got into the podcast world, we connected on a Facebook group, I think.

And you were, can I just tell you you're the only four star review I ever got on my podcast?

[00:03:44] Jhae Pfenning: Are the rest of them five stars.

[00:03:46] Trista, Host: Yes they are.

[00:03:48] Jhae Pfenning: Okay. Here's the, here's the thing on that? I'm like a teacher sometimes, right? And my mindset is it's like how you, you have to give somebody. Something to shoot for, because I think we live in a world where, especially in podcasting, right.

Because especially on some of these pages, like for like review for review and some of the people, they have no interest in listening to your actual podcast. So let's those two at one and a half, two times the speed, or they're just skim through it and say, oh, best podcasts in the world. Five stars. Keep doing what you're doing.

It's like, no, I want to know, you know, if it's good, is this something you would tune into every day? Do you want to be part of the conversation? Maybe? Did you really like it? But it's not your thing. You know, give me something to shoot for now. I don't want to give up, get a freaking one, you know, but like most people, if I really, really liked the podcast, you're going to get a solid four.

I'm like a hard grade teacher. And then I broke it down.

[00:04:52] Trista, Host: Yeah, you did. You did. And this was I'm actually right on apple podcast reviews. Right now. I pulled up. Oh, no, it was March 24th. And I think my first episode came out around the seventh or the 12th of March of 2020. So this was my very first review.

So I'm a new podcast. I'm a new podcast or after a five-year break. And I got four stars. I got to say it, it, it I've never forgot you. It left an impression, but here's what you wrote. A fresh approach. Really enjoyed this podcast. Every vanity plate should have a story behind it. Trista has taken a golden opportunity and seeking out people to hear and share their stories.

This podcast is refreshing and will only get better. So there's that like room for improvement, you know, shoot for improvement.

[00:05:44] Jhae Pfenning: You know what, here we are over a year later and yeah, I wrote you down on my little book of people to eventually connect with. It's like, okay, I got to get Trista on Trista on interest, this plate story Trista's plate story. So I'm glad you asked was like, Hey man, we doing this or not.

[00:06:00] Trista, Host: Yeah. Well, I like to I'm I've gotten very good at followup followup used to be my least favorite skill and I've really worked on it.

So now I'm about average to a little bit above average, but I just couldn't step over that. I had to bring that up since it just always stuck with me. You've been part of my journey from the beginning because of that.

[00:06:23] Jhae Pfenning: So even though it was four stars where you like that sob I'm going to get him, or like, that was actually a really like what, what were, what were your thoughts?

[00:06:31] Trista, Host: My response to, it was like, where's my five stars. First of all, like, how come I didn't get five stars? And then the fact that you said it was refreshing and will only get better, like that really stuck with me. I'm like, okay. So he sees room for improvement. He liked it, but it can only get better. I mean, how can you expect in your first couple of weeks of something to be the best you'll ever be at it, then where are you going to grow from?

Right. I think that we're always growing. So I said, okay, I have room for improvement, but what am I going to improve? I don't know yet. You know, like it's been, it's been part of my, my tapestry of my podcasts since the beginning. Like would, would Jhae think this is better? Would he think this has improved?

Did it go where he thought it was going to go? I. You've been part of my inner monologue about my, my podcasts since, since the beginning. So even though I really wanted five stars, I wanted five stars. Like who does it? What five star, five stars. But I got what you were saying. I respected it. Like, clearly you listened to it.

You didn't just phone it in, like you're saying. And I appreciated that and we did stay connected. And now here we are a year and a half or so later, and I was just recently on your podcast. Now you're on mine. And that's just amazing. So we let's get into your plate because if I was to see this license plate in a grocery store parking lot, I don't know if I would realize this was a vanity plate.

So tell me the story behind V F 1 S N S X.

[00:08:09] Jhae Pfenning: So the story behind it, it's, it's a really long story, but I guess that's why we're here on the podcast. In short. Well, I just said, it's a long story. I'm telling you the short. So VF is used in the military and I'm not military. I've always kind of wished I wished had, had joined at some point.

But when I was a teenager or preteen, I don't know, middle school, somewhere in that, there used to be a cartoon that I used to like a lot called Robotech and it's actually, you know, people can't see it right now, but it's my car behind me on the zoom call and the fighter jet, they were called VFs for variable fighters, actually in the cartoon, they were Varitek fighters, but the Japanese version was variable fighters.

And what that meant was they could do more than they weren't autonomous. They still needed a pilot, but they can change different modes to go from jet to kind of like a guardian where they have legs, but you're still the pilot inside the cockpit. Or there is a battleoid mode where it looks like a, a humanoid it's a robot that's being piloted by a person.

You know, we've seen that with Pacific Rim and a bunch of those movies now, but the reason why it was in the cartoon is because the earth was in an all out global war. Shocker. And a giant alien spaceship crashed in the middle of the ocean. Everyone stopped fighting. They went to investigate and we find out that there were 50 foot tall aliens.

Humanoids, of course, what else? I guess, by the way, these movies, every alien looks like a person. Like how do we know? They don't look like French fries with legs, it's like, how do we know that?

[00:09:53] Trista, Host: Well, because then you'd have to get French fries to play them in the movie. And we just sent humans to play them in the movie.

[00:09:58] Jhae Pfenning: Right. So these people, you know, they w they were 50 feet tall. They were all blue or green. And they were preparing the United or the new United earth government was preparing for their return one day. So that's why these robots existed. And, you know, obviously from that point, the cartoon went in a direction where the aliens came back and there was this all out war between the humans and these is Intrado and you know, you're supposed to be paying attention in class.

Right. But no one really does in middle school, especially a loser kid like me from the suburbs, you just stare out the window. I was like, man, if the earth was being attacked right now, I wish I had a Varitek outside. I'd go out there and save everybody in the school. That'd be a hero. You know, they just became like my favorite cartoon then once I got into high school.

So right now I have an accurate NSX, 1997 Acura NSX, which is for people who like cars pretty iconic. But I saw my first one. This was years after I cared about Robotech and I fell in love with the car. Super long story. Short, 20 years later, I got. Super long story short. After several years of ownership, you know, I used to go to these different car shows.

I'd look at other people's cars, cause I'm an artist by trade. Or I used to be, I thought I was going to go on to design cars, design shoes, design, all sorts of stuff. And I would go to different car shows. I'd look at cars that were wrapped, like fighter jets, and I'd get up close to him. I look at him, I go, oh, that's pretty cool.

But I would do that different or that doesn't look right. It's pixelated or you know, every, every thing that flies has more than one type of screw, there's probably like 50 different pieces of hardware. This is if I ever did it, I'd do it better. You know, never had ever designed anything in Photoshop.

Right. You know, you have a lot of, if you have passion and you have confidence and your confidence drives your passion and your, your final product is always better. So I decided to, I was like, well, if I'm going to design a wrap for my cars, I wanted to change it up. Maybe I'll do a fighter jet. Sure. Why not?

And then I really started thinking, I asked my friends, I go, Hey, what if I did a Robotech Chet, a Varitek fighter, a VF is what they're called. And I'd be the leader. The leader is the skull leader, which is the VF one. And then the S is for scoliosis. Now, historically speaking, traditional and real world, real world war.

They have the jolly Rogers at fourteens w you know, the fighter jets from the, from the seventies. And they had the skull and crossbones on the rear and they kind of flew them. It was kind of a, like a victory squadron type of deal. It was a whole squadron of them. The VFS is, of course the cartoon did the adaptation.

So I was like, okay, I'm going to design a VF one S and then NSX, which is my car. So ultimately that's where VF one S NSX. And there's the

But I have the S the school leader.

[00:12:57] Trista, Host: That's awesome. So that makes perfect sense. And your, your podcast, the hard parking podcast. The description of it, I think is quite interesting. The non-automotive automotive podcast, where society and culture come first, and the car talk comes second.

You describe yourself to me earlier as to somebody who's not a car guy like myself, you're a total car guy, but to a car guy, you're not really a car guy. So can you talk about, like, where do you fit in that whole the whole tapestry of car guys?

[00:13:30] Jhae Pfenning: Well, if I was better at it, I'd be pulling in Joe Rogan money probably, but you know, I always described the car person as

to people who aren't into cars at all. And you, and you kind of are a little bit because we had a conversation and I think more people actually are that aren't, but they just kind of categorize car person as one type of person. And there's so many different, but for any hobby you're into there's, so many of you, if you enjoy the outdoors, like what does that really mean?

Right. There's so many different ways to enjoy the outdoors. And it's the same thing with, with cars in my opinion. So I think to be a car person, all you're doing is you're walking into the door, the front door of a giant flea market swap, meet shopping mall, where you have 300 different places you can go.

And some of them, you know, like clothing stores or, you know, you have a hundred clothes with 15 clothing stores, but they don't all sell the exact same thing. So you can be into import cars, but you could also hate the store next door. You know, hate's a strong word, but you know, we're not all the same, but people think we all are so I'm sort of the casual car person.

I love cars. And I was little kid teenager. I used to know everything about them. I don't really know much about them anymore. Now my family probably say, yeah, right. But, you know, as I tell my son, when he calls me, I was like, look like one day, he said, Hey dad, do you think auto zone would have these breaks in stock?

And I said, I don't know, why don't you call him and ask him, like, I don't know who has what in inventory? And I also tell people, look, I'm not an a, you know, and a certified mechanic here. I can do basic stuff, but that's the reason why those things is this. But you know, I still love cars. Of course, I guess I know a lot about them, but not as much as people think I do.

Like, I don't know what the, the newest hypercar is. I don't care. And there was one time that I did, but I don't, I don't care anymore. Like I like cars and. I like $18,000 cars and I'm like $1.8 million cars, you know, kind of the same. Cause they're all kind of cool and unique. So that's, that's kind of where I am.

And with the non-automotive automotive, that's kind of a loose, I kind of stole that from one of my favorite podcasts, a sports podcast called the Dan Libertad show was two gods cause they're the non sports sports show. And so they still cover sports, but they have a lot of fun. And when he has conversations, he has guests on, you know, they like to, he likes to talk about both sides of the conversation.

And I'm really big on that too, being both sides of the conversation. So my, my approach is, well, I'll get guests on and we'll talk about, you know, their car a little bit, but then I want to know what they're into, you know, does traffic drive them crazy? Don't they hate it when you know, you're, you're walking into the grocery store someone's kid is, you know, doing cartwheels down the, you know, down aisle six, because those are the things that whatever drives me crazy probably drives everyone crazy. So it's kind of fun to share those moments with people and like, you're not alone in thinking that these people are nuts and you know, what's going on on TV.

And what do you think about mask? What do you think about this? What do you think about, you know the twin cities, you know, last year, obviously the George Floyd thing. And I think that people like the podcast, because I try to offer a non-scripted perspective. I don't always go with what's the popular thing to say.

I just go with what I personally think. And if I don't have enough information, I'm not going to make a judgment. And then I try to pull that out of my guests. And then we talk about cars. If there's time

[00:17:01] Trista, Host: yeah, I think you're the only person that has ever asked me during an interview about my car. And it was kind of fun.

Cause I had just bought a car and it's a car that nobody's ever heard of it. So it was kind of fun to talk about my car with you, even though I'm not a car person, I like having a car, I enjoy driving so I can see what you're saying. And I like how you described it because you're right. I sort of have a car person description in my head and it is just a certain type of person who cares a lot about cars, knows a lot about cars.

Talks a lot about cars, goes to car shows, but you're absolutely right. Just like anything. There are so many facets to that. Just that one thing. How long have you had your podcast?

[00:17:45] Jhae Pfenning: I think I hard parking podcast. I want to say it was a mid 2019. I have to think about it in the context of work because I wanted to.

Well, I had a F well, I guess I wouldn't say hat, but I have a friend who a few years ago he goes, Hey, we should do a podcast together. And I was like, I don't really know, man, like a year later, I said, Hey, you will still want to do that podcast. I wanted something to do when I was on the road, which by the way, you know, you, you start recording your episodes from the hotel room every night.

You don't really understand the controlled space and how different, you know, your sound can be. If, you know, sit there and record it all at once, get home at the end of the week and you start editing it. And you're like, oh, this sounds terrible. So it was terrible. And that's just, you know, my opinion on it, you know, but, but so that was when I was working in New Jersey on my second tour is what I call it because I'm on my third tour working for that client.

So yeah, mid, mid 20, mid to late 2019.

[00:18:39] Trista, Host: Yeah. And you had a cohost, I've had podcasts in the past. I have. Two different podcasts with a co-host. And I have to say, when it didn't work for our schedules anymore, the podcast went away, but you kept going. So tell me kind of the the origin story a little bit and how did it end up being just you and guests?

[00:19:00] Jhae Pfenning: Yeah. You know, and Brando is his name. It's a good guy. We don't talk that much. It's almost like a breakup where you're still, you're still cool with them. You know, you take the kids on this day and I took kids on that day, you know, so we're not, you know, going opposite directions when we see each other parties type of relationship, but, you know, he, he let me down and he knows it and I never called him out on it, you know, but you know, our plan was to record and you've probably gone through this exact thing.

We're supposed to record like five or six episodes at once and just do like a release. I go, okay, well, let's record one a week. And then six weeks from now, let's just go ahead and release them every week. And then we can figure out after, you know, people's feedback, what we're going to. By the third episode, I felt like I was pulling teeth, getting him on.

And our just our, every week we had takeaways next week, I was going to bring something to the table. You bring something to the table and you just got too busy. You didn't want to leave the house and people, the da. And I was, I decided I was kind of having fun doing it. And so probably I think it was, I want to say eight or nine episodes before we, he kind of went his separate way.

I think it was the tacos and Hawaii was the last episode that he was on regularly. But somewhere around the fifth or sixth episode, I kind of pulled myself to the side and said, you know, is this something I want to do? There's a very realistic chance that Brando is just going to fade out. He's kind of already fading out.

Yeah, sure. I only want to get better at this. I'm having fun with this and you never know where it's going to go because like, I wouldn't say like many people because some people do, but like some people. You know, you get into podcasts and to kind of share a story, entertain people have people share their stories.

And for us specifically, it was like, man, if we get good at this, maybe we can get media passes into car events that we usually have to pay for, you know? So that's why we kind of jumped into it. And that hasn't really happened yet, but it could like, like enough people know if I said, Hey, I'm the host of Hard Parking podcast, especially with local people.

Oh, okay. Yeah, we'll get you in for media, but that's kind of why I decided to do it. And then on a, not on a really sad note, but I, and we could talk about a little bit later too, but you know, I, I was adopted when I was younger, went through several families before the adoption. Well, in my mind, right, you have your birth family, your foster, and then your adoptive family.

But I think I've always felt like I needed to validate my existence in a way. And, you know, I've been, I have a wonderful family now I've been married. We just had our 17 year wedding anniversary, but I still feel like my wife tunes me out after five seconds and kids don't listen to you because you're a parent.

So you never have anything good to say. And it's like, I started getting feedback from people that would respond to my podcasts. I'm like, wow, these people are actually listening. I have a, I have an audience. I have, even if it's 10 people, I have people who care about what I say and offer me feedback. And so that's why I kept going because it's almost therapeutic for me.

[00:22:07] Trista, Host: Yeah. Well, you know, I've, I really think that all we really want, all we really want is to feel heard, not listened to too, but like really heard. So I can very much resonate with what you're saying, but you have quite a following now. Right? Like I know your, your Instagram has like 15,000 followers. So you have a pretty good following for your podcast these days.

Right? I have

[00:22:32] Jhae Pfenning: a decent following, you know, I. So that was one of Brando's things. It's like, Hey, I got this. All right. How he talks, you know, like I got like, you know, 50,000 followers and you got whatever, man, that's going to be six. This'll be easy. And it's not, you know, as you know, it's not. And I kind of compare it to selling candy as a kid.

If you had the Cub Scouts or girl Scouts door to door, and you know, your family's always going to buy your stuff and your next door neighbor. And once you get two or three streets over, you know, you're going to find out if they like your candy or not. They're not being nice. That's the bottom line. And it's also, people always remember you on how they know you last, because I will see people.

I mean, 15 years ago I used to work at the bars in Michigan. I was a bouncer. Believe it or not. And I'm like, oh Jhae hi, how you doing? Good. Good. What have you been up to? IT you married? Yeah, I'm going down. Hey, you still working or no? No, I'm not still bouncing. No, I'm in healthcare IT. And so, you know, I say that to say that it's, you have to go out and you, and you have to find new people because the people who already knew you don't know your for being a podcaster.

And then when you start off with that big crowd, it's, it's kind of, there's a pro and a con to it, right? The pro is you already have access to all these people who already have access to you. The con is if you're still trying to figure out what you even want to do and how you want to do it, those early episodes don't really sound like your, once you start getting into the groove.

And so yeah. So to answer your question, yeah. I have a a big following of my page because of my car, I would say more so than, than the podcast. I tried to grow the podcast on my other page. And I said, you know what? I'm going to take advantage of the fact that I have enough followers that I can put actively.

You know, in my stories, whether I'm trying to help sell a product or promote my podcast or promote somebody else's podcast. And so I just shifted everything over to my car page and people could take it or leave it.

[00:24:33] Trista, Host: Yeah. And I love it. And it's a very active page. You do something really fun. I'd love to know the origin story of this one drink Wednesdays.

I need to know about this

[00:24:44] Jhae Pfenning: one drink Wednesday is a lot of fun and I, you need to jump on there with us. So west Tankersley is another podcaster that I met around the same time as you actually. And, you know, we kind of pulled over into like a little mastermind group. There was probably six or seven of us that broke off from some of these other crazy groups, as you know, and I think through the pandemic era, at least the first part of it, cause we're still in it, you know, you just started connecting with people and leaning on people.

And you know, our daily conversations became less about podcasting. I mean, we were like, you know, what can we do and stuff, but you know, as four of us got in Brian sail. Even five with Jason, had his own thing. And then one guy Zach who lives over in Germany, he's a professional baseball player over there.

And so we all just kind of built like this mastermind group. And then, you know, Wes and I were like, Hey, you know, we should all hang out one day. He came down here for spring training. We went out had a couple of pops. He played golf. And then since then we're like, we'll just do a virtual drink, one drink Wednesday.

And we describe it as every Wednesday. And you know, right now at seven o'clock Pacific time, we'll get on Instagram live, you have your drink. I have my drink. And it's like meeting at the same bar. And if people join, they can come up on stage with us. If not, maybe, maybe the only one was in the bar and that's okay.

And that's where one drink Wednesday came from and we have a lot of fun. Sometimes we get some pretty cool guests, whether they're just random everyday people or kind of celebrities.

[00:26:06] Trista, Host: Yeah, I noticed you have people that are not planned guests join you for the conversation. And I thought that was fun. I haven't seen that before where you have planned thing, but then other people can pop in and join you for the discussion.

And I thought, I thought that was really unique and cool. And it sort of reminds me of how you can watch a TV show or a movie together on like a Netflix or whatever. And you're all in your own houses, but it's Simon streaming or something

with

your family. Yeah. Yeah. So it sort of reminded me of that, but in a much much cooler hipper social media sort of way.

[00:26:47] Jhae Pfenning: I don't think I've ever been me myself. Cool. And hip all three of them, I don't think has ever been in the same sentence at the same time.

[00:26:55] Trista, Host: The, I think that's so funny because I find you very cool and hip, especially your voice. You have just the perfect podcast voice with that really just amazing timber.

Yeah. I don't mind a little on the higher range, but yeah, I, I just enjoy your voice, just listening to your voice. So that's awesome. So what's in store for you. You have a great podcast, you have a great following. You're you're doing some great stuff, but clearly if you look at things like always improving, always looking at what's next.

So what's next? What do you have in the works?

[00:27:36] Jhae Pfenning: You know, I, I got to tell you that usually when, when I'm looking at things, if the podcast numbers are down or I've never, I never run out of content, which I think is pretty fortunate. And I mean, you really wouldn't either, you know, with your, your vanity. But after to sit back and evaluate it, say, okay, what could I be doing better?

You know, what should I be? Should I be doing better? Where have I let myself down? And I think, you know, one of the things is I could be more organized. I think I mentioned on the last conversation that I ordered a, a desktop calendar, which I have right in front of me at this time. Excellent.

Congratulations. Thank you. Thank you. I would love to get my website up. Finally. It's almost a year past due and I'm working on that because it's, it's, it's one of those things where we have to ask ourselves when things aren't going exactly the way that we imagine they go, which is most things in our lives.

What could we have done differently? Or what could we be doing better to help that? Because at the end of the day, if you do everything that you set out to do, and you've given it your hardest, your best as anyone ever say, given your hardest, if you've given it your best. Or what you think is your best and it's still not where you want.

At least you could say I gave it my best, but if you haven't given it, your best is not where you want. And there's no, really you have to look at yourself, what could I be doing better? And there's things I could be doing better. There's things I don't do now than I did last year. I was like, okay, well, I've dropped those habits, you know?

And you can tell them the numbers, you know, I'll have friends that say, well, you know, I got, I got 15 downloads a day. I'm like, oh, I have no idea how many downloads I got today. And I have no idea how many followers I've lost on Instagram. You know, I just have to keep moving forward. And I decided to, even with Instagram is like, look, most of that's because of my car.

I stopped caring about that eight or nine months ago and started posting pretty much whatever I want. I mean, I'm still staying on brand, but before it was just all my car and now it's reels. It's, you know, one drink Wednesday. It's no one's going to do for you. Like you're going to be able to do for you.

Really it's, it's just continuing to grow.

And as far as the podcast goes, you know, just continuing to work on that long list that I have of people. And I got, I mean, I was really lucky. I think I was lucky. I think it's lucky. I don't know if it's fate, but one of my podcasts idols, I was able to have a conversation with the other day and it was one of those pipe dream type deal type of deal.

I was like, Hey, you know, I would love to have this person on the show. Would they? And they were on the show. Yeah. One of my dream guests, you know, that's the thing they always ask you. Right? Like who are your dream guests? Yeah. Yeah. And so I think that's, yeah, that's, that's good for the soul. And I

[00:30:25] Trista, Host: mean, I'm involved in so much, I guess

[00:30:29] Jhae Pfenning: I didn't want to have to use your name, but you know, there's so much truth to that, but I'm involved in so many things.

And then it's, it's one of those things where people are like, holy crap, Jhae like, how do you do it? And I, from the outside world, it probably looks like I'm busy all the time and maybe I am, but again, I could do more for my brand because I don't count my regular nine to five job as being busy. I mean, it is busy.

We've talked about that before, sometimes busier than I ever planned for it to be. But you know, one thing I learned in the pandemic era is, you know, I was out of work for five months and you know, you have to find other stuff with the whole paradigm shift in how the world is performing business. You have to find other things to maybe sublet your.

Your ambitions, maybe, you know, you may make some money off it, or maybe you don't have to work as hard at one job and you can even itself, even your work-life balance off. If you have something else that's fun to do with it helps pay for stuff, I guess.

[00:31:31] Trista, Host: Yeah. Well, the millennials today, they always keep telling me you need seven income streams to be a millionaire today.

I don't know where I, I don't know where they all read it, but they've all said I've had like, you know, eight or 10 different millennials tell me this. Very true, very important fact. They have nothing to back that up, but that's what they keep saying. They must've all heard it on the same podcast

[00:31:55] Jhae Pfenning: Rogan or something.

[00:31:56] Trista, Host: Yeah, probably, probably. You said that earlier that you could maybe have been a Joe Rogan, if you knew more about cars, is that an aspiration of yours to be one of the top podcasters, huge moneymakers, huge following.

[00:32:14] Jhae Pfenning: I, I mean, I I've, I kinda said it in jest, but you, you kind of dug to the root of it.

I think we just want to be heard. And one thing that I would tell that I tell other podcasts is just getting started. I go, look, don't even look at your numbers, but if you're going to look at them, think about it as think about it as you're doing a weekly, just say Bible study or book club every week, you do a book club on Tuesdays and you have 13 people that show up every week.

So if you decide not to do the book club, those 13 people, you've just let down, they're going to show up at that door and the door is going to be locked. Some days you might have 10 people because two people could, two or three people could make it. Some days you may have 25 people cause they invited their friends for as long as you have people showing up to your book club thing, keep doing it.

As long as you're having. Sure. If this thing blew up and I was getting thousands and thousands and thousands of downloads per episode, it would feel kind of cool, but it's only cool to the point where you can actually make some real money and retire off of it or retire off of your day job, then it's something special.

But until it gets to that point, you know? Yeah. Just keep having fun. And I'd like to see that growth. So instead of going, and, and I do more than 13, but if it's 13 today and tomorrow, then next week, I want to see 14, you know, and I had some of those types of goals for this year. And I think across the board, or maybe it's just me and I'm trying to find a way to make it sound better, but you know, across the board, I think that listening in general is down and, you know, I switched to a weekly show to see, cause that's one of the things out there that we should do it every week, you know, statistics show.

And they said, these are probably the millennials with the seven, seven streams of income statistics show that the average person listens to 20 minutes. So if you do one every week, then your numbers will go to the roof. Well, I have more listeners on my longer episodes. I do my short ones, which you know, every other week, so

[00:34:16] Trista, Host: actually get more.

Then the shorter ones, which seems counterintuitive to me. But I think that 20 minutes comes from how long does it typically take you to drive somewhere? And that number is out the window. Cause a lot of people haven't been driving, but I think that social media platforms like clubhouse really started that audio, that listening where you're on there for just, I don't know if you're on clubhouse, but when you go on there, you can get on there for hours and hours and hours.

And that's listening time that you'd be spending, listening to audio books or podcasts or whatever else you used to use to listen to.

[00:34:52] Jhae Pfenning: Are you, I mean, you brought up clubhouse. What is your thought? You know what, I'm going to save that. I'm going to say that one for the end. Yeah. I'm gonna say we just

[00:35:01] Trista, Host: got a new question.

[00:35:03] Jhae Pfenning: We just got a new question. Yeah. I got a new question.

[00:35:07] Trista, Host: So you mentioned that you were going to be an artist, a graphic designer. It sounds like for sneakers. And then what happened?

[00:35:17] Jhae Pfenning: You know, it was, I I'd said the passion word earlier and you know, I, when I put my mind to it, I'm pretty good with the pencil and the pen or I was, you know, and it's all relative, and this is what I, this is how I always explain this because you know, when you're in middle school and you're one of the artists on your elementary school, you're one of the artists.

And then you go to a magnet school. It's what I went to. And then you're, you're in a room full of other artists. You're no longer the best person in class. There's people that are just naturally talented. They could draw you out of a draw, the hell of it. And then you get to high school and it's more, a little more dispersed.

It's not focused anymore. So then, you know, everyone's thought was, you know, Jhae, you have all this talent. You're going to go on to be a great artist, but not to put. Like my parents or anything, because I didn't do very good in high school. And then it's funny, cause I didn't skip class either. Really. I just sucked at everything except for art and, and I just thought I was going to go to art school and I never knew anything about it.

I just thought like, like a scholarship, I just thought scholarships were just given. I had no idea. And then my parents probably didn't really, you know, and I would probably wasn't the most fun teenager to deal with because of my history. So, you know, I probably shut them out or they gave them my wishes or whatever, but I always thought I was going to be an artist on some capacity and, and I was getting a little off here, but what the point is, I liken it to football or sports.

You could be all city and then you go to high school or you gonna be all city junior high. You could be a star of your high school football team. You're lucky if you can get into Juco, you're really lucky if you can land in division one, And if you can do that, you're one of 105 people on the team.

Chances are, you're not making it to the NFL, but everybody who's not the athletically gifted thinks you're just the best person in the world. And it's all relative. And I think with art, once I got to art school, I learned how to draw a little better, but I quickly realized that, you know, it was never my artistic skill.

It was my focus and my passion for whatever it was. I was drawing. And, you know, I went to a school of this called and I went for industrial design, Kendall college of art and design in grand rapids, Michigan, and everyone there kept telling me, you know, what are you doing here? You need to be in an art center or you need to be able to CCS in Detroit because I kept drawing cars.

So first off I was in the wrong school, but then I realized it was, my gift was more communication than pure skill because when I'd get up there and do a presentation, you know, we had people come over from companies and they were ready to buy my product. And I hate sales too. I'm not a person. But there's like a certain conviction you have when you believe in something I think is what it really is.

And, you know, I decided that I don't want to spend you learn about the design process. I don't want to spend eight to nine months designing the next ergonomic coffee cup. There's nothing in there, you know? Exactly. Cause that's what industrial design really is, you know? And that's the design process. I go, I feel like I have whatever it is.

I have something else to offer the world. So then I realized I really wasn't that good of an artist. I was okay. But I think pure art, wasn't my calling. But every once in a while I get an opportunity to, you know, use that skill. And I mean, like the VFDs NSX, I designed every square millimeter of that wrap and I took a year to learn how to use Photoshop while I did it.

And I'll probably never design another wrap again. But it's validating when you know, you go to a huge show called SEMA. And it's I think the world's largest aftermarket manufacturing event, it's in Las Vegas, hundreds of thousand people come, but when you're in SEMA and you have people coming up to you, that that's what they do for a living design wraps and things.

And they say, wow, this is really good. This was your first. This is amazing. Especially for somebody who's never done it before. The validation is pretty cool. So every once in, while you get an opportunity to do stuff with, with your skills, whatever they are. So, you know, pursue those. I mean, I'll design stuff every once in a while still, but it's not my bread and butter.

And I knew it wasn't going to be, but some cool stuff has happened because of the VF one S NSX. So,

[00:39:39] Trista, Host: well, I I'd like to hear more about that, but I wanted to just underline what you were saying. I thought it was so cute. It was when you were drawing something that you were passionate about, you're an amazing artist, but it was your passion for the thing you were drawing and not the skill that was being channeled there.

So cars, you did amazing wrapping your car. You did amazing, but you know, the coffee cup or whatever, like who cares not interested at all. So maybe your skill wasn't there. So I think that, that, that passion that was there in some things and missing and others, I think that's just so, so key.

[00:40:23] Jhae Pfenning: People would commission me to draw stuff for him. And we're talking like high school. Well, no one pays anything. I'll give you 30 bucks for that drawing that you spent eight hours, you know, doing. But I would look at someone else. I was like, wow, that's pretty good, but it's not that good. Why? Oh, because I don't care about the Dallas Cowboys, you know, so yeah.

I realized that within myself that, you know, I wasn't sitting at an art show and staring across it, the first place person and said, well, I got second place. I suck. It was more or less sitting back and watching the things that weren't judged. And I was judging my own work.

[00:40:57] Trista, Host: Yeah, for sure. So you were going to say a little bit more about where it's led.

Can you share more about

[00:41:03] Jhae Pfenning: that? Oh, the car I keep looking over because I have it as a wallpaper. I commissioned someone to do it like a full of fun, little drawing of it, but the car was in a magazine. Which has for a car person. That's like our thing, you know, it's like, oh, wow. I mean, I didn't make the magazine cover, which is really cool.

But I had a cool article inside of PAS MAG which is performance, audio and sound magazine. But, but I was in a show called anime expo in 2018. So I wrapped the car in 2017 for SEMA. I got an invite from a random person on Instagram. I know it sounds like catfishing or something, but you know, the person did not have a very big account, but they had mentioned this, the show called anime expo, which is a big deal for the anime guys, you know, anime crowd in Anaheim.

And so after exchanging a few conversational bits, I said, okay, I'll, I'll put my car in the show. And I did. So I was at anime expo and I was one of two cars that were there that year. They had. The panels, they had a bunch of panels. They're speaking about all sorts of different things. Like this is a big deal.

So harmony gold, which a lot of people who were in the MACRA, which is the Japanese version of Robotech hate, they're the, they're the studio that brought Robotech to the United States. So that's what I watched one teen in the early to mid eighties. That's what inspired the dreams, the daydreams of the VF1SNSX. They had a panel there and I had communicated with them online a few times. I sat in the back of the room during the panel and they're like, Hey, there's even a guy here who has an NSX, you know, based on our cartoon, I was like, yeah, that's me. So they came and they checked out the car and the creative director sat in the car and he just loved it.

He loved it. The CEO of the company loved it. They invited me out to their studios. We say, Hey, one day when you come to Los Angeles, come up to this. You know, and you can bring your family, want to bring a couple of people. And so we did that. So I got to tour the very studio of the thing I used to watch in the eighties.

And to me, it was awesome. You know, full circle. It's a hundred percent, that's like on the same wavelength, there that's exactly how it described. It's like coming full circle. So not only did I get my dream car, but I also am driving around in my fighter jet. And I got the attention of the company that inspired at all.

And that's not even the only thing. There's a you know, there's the companies in China that are always making stuff. Right. One day I'm sitting there on Facebook and a friend messaged me and he says, Hey, did you, did you know about this? It says me linked to eBay. Some companies making little miniatures of my car, like exact miniatures of my car, had all my decals on there.

It's like they shot it with the shrink gun has the license plate. VF1SNSX. And so I was like, oh, heck

[00:43:59] Trista, Host: no. Where, where where's your residual checks? Where's the royalties?

[00:44:04] Jhae Pfenning: Well, here's the deal because a lot of people said, well, you know, welcome to getting screwed. You know, you should be honored that someone's, you know, ripping you off.

I'm like, well, there's a pro and a con to it. Number one, I'm not a major corporation. I'm just a regular person. Number two, man. Wouldn't it be neat. If I could look back one day and see all these cars, you know, that was my stuff. I did that. And number three, I wasn't screwed because I was in good with harmony gold, which is known for being incredibly litigious.

They will Sue the pants out of anybody who uses any of their intellectual property. I had their markings on my car, but it was a fan thing. And my relationship with them, they didn't care. And I talked to them. To the creative director. And he said, Hey, let us know what you want us to do you want us to wipe off the planet?

Yeah, because they're like, they're in China. You can't reach him. I go hold my beer. And I had a, I had a, I have actually a pretty good Hollywood friend. His name is Joseph GAT. And he sent me a message and said, Hey, I want to talk to you about your car. Let's turn this into an opportunity. And I said, okay. I gave him a call and we talked for 45 minutes and we were kind of thinking the same thing.

He said, you know what, instead of asking for money, how about use this as an opportunity for branding? I said, well, this is what I'm thinking. How about they put my name on the car? So I will forever have credit. You know, I want to, I want them to give me a few of them so I can give them away to family and friends.

And then I want one, I don't want, have to buy my own car. And so I was able to work out a deal with them and it's on every package. I said, Hey, I want to help design the final product of the car. I want to design the packaging. I wanted to say Jhae Pfenning's VF1SNSX. I want my Instagram on there, which used to be in a two NSX, but now it's just my name.

And I'm going to put a signature, play it on there, a little, a little plaque. And so I sent them exactly everything I wanted. They, they complied, they made it. And you know, there's, there are, there are out there. If someone goes on eBay and they searched Jhae Pfenning, they're gonna find that car probably that's actually one of two cars.

So actually I have two miniatures. They're kind of the same story. Somebody wanted to copy it. And we turned it into an opportunity and I've made money off of them because I've bought some for costs and I've turned around and sold them. And my thing is, Hey, you could buy them from these people out there that don't know me.

I get nothing from it. Or you can buy it from me and I can make a couple of. But what I did is I turned it into a kind of a fun marketing thing. I autographed all mine and numbered them. And so people were just buying them. And so right now I actually have three miniature cars out there. One's a pen, that's worth a lot of money, but it has nothing to do with me.

It's because the maker of the pin really wasn't popular at the time when there were so few of them now he's popular and he sells thousands of them in five minutes, a hundred made of mine. And he only had 20. 80 I kept and gave to family and friends and sponsors. But now those pins are worth over a thousand bucks, which is crazy.

And it's not because of me, it's just because it's a limited edition pin. But at the end of the day, it's still my car on that pin. And so that's, I've told everyone because of all those things that have happened, I'm kind of playing with house money. So I'm okay with it. And I still have more stuff coming out with the car and the car is not even wrapped anymore.

It's just black sitting in the garage,

[00:47:41] Trista, Host: chilling. Oh, is that right? It's not wrapped anymore.

[00:47:44] Jhae Pfenning: It's just in the garage.

[00:47:47] Trista, Host: Oh, that's such a cool story. I'm so glad I pulled that thread.

[00:47:50] Jhae Pfenning: Yeah. And I mean, I would have been screwed if these people didn't want to work with me, I could have got them shut down. But, you know, I knew there was super fans out there of my car, not me of the car. And so I felt like if I had these things wiped off the planet, then everybody would lose at the end of the day.

Yeah. As long as we're able to work together. And I got like, I got more coming out, so it's pretty cool. So now the VF1SNSX actually means something even more so, yeah. That's my VF1SNSX story.

[00:48:24] Trista, Host: Beautiful. It's so, so good. So there's another thread I wanted to pull. You had mentioned earlier that you were adopted, and then you made a comment about your parents and art school and, and scholarships and things.

I'd love to hear a little bit about your coming of age story. Anything you want to share about that?

[00:48:44] Jhae Pfenning: I, I think being adopted and I'm 45 now, so I had a closed adoption. Which for most people who are under the age of 30, that's not even a thing. You know, you can go and meet your parents and meet your family.

And that just wasn't a deal in my day. And I don't look anything like my parents or my brother who has Asperger's. And you know, when you're trying to find your identity, you know, you're getting a lot of trouble punching walls, acting out, you know, and I think I was such a handful. And I think back, I wasn't that bad, but this is my parents' first rodeo.

If you don't my mom's from a small town, you know, my dad was from the military. And I think, I remember my father had told me that I think when I was in ninth grade, I told him to stop telling me what to do and let me make my own decisions. And then so they did, which I think was kind of a mistake looking back because

[00:49:52] Trista, Host: in ninth grade,

[00:49:53] Jhae Pfenning: yeah, I would agree.

I mean, I turned out okay. But I don't know if it's them just letting me make my own decisions. The reason why I didn't know about anything that could have advanced my life immediately after high school, or if, because maybe they just didn't know what to do to advance my life. So I got in a little bit of trouble, nothing too bad, but just things that kind of derailed, you know, and I started hanging out with some of the wrong crowds, but I've always been kind of a curious person.

And so there were times when I knew I wasn't hanging around with the best people, but there were people who accepted me. And I was just kind of curious to see what had happened, but I had one or two, two scares one time I had just bought a brand new car. It's my first brand new car in 1998, accurate GSR entry-level car, iconic car.

And we were driving to the very bad part of south Dallas. Now one could argue all of south Dallas is bad, but at the time I don't think all of south Dallas was bad, but we, we drove around a corner and my friend. Stuck his arms out the window. This was a night and he said something, Hey, what's up mother be, you know, and all his cars, his friends were there, but he was just kinda surprised them.

Trista. These people came running from all different directions and they had guns and I hit him. I said, Hey man, you better say something like, that was my very first like, Hey, yo, spirit of say something. It's like, Hey, it's just me. It's me. It's me. And they're like, oh man, you can't, you can't play with us.

Like that. What had happened was, I guess earlier that night, someone drove by and was shooting at the house. Oh my God. So we got out of the car and we were just hanging out because we were still knuckleheads. Right. But I remember thinking I was kind of sitting back and kind of look at the situation.

Every time a car would come around the corner, everyone would run and duck behind something. I didn't even have a gun. So I thought, man, how am I going to explain this car? Getting shot? Maybe that's a car guy in there. Not if, if one of my friends gets killed, how am I gonna explain that? And I was like, man, if this brand new car gets shot, how the hell am I going to explain that?

And we only hung out a few more times. Those are still my friends, but I've only, I only one of the guys I'm in contact with, but you know, we never had a falling out, but I stopped putting myself in that situation. I said, you know what, this, isn't it. I mean, I'm, I'm fighting here. I got stuff out of this situation.

And so I did, I removed myself and then a few months later I applied for college. I didn't get accepted. I didn't get a scholarship, but I got accepted to the school. And that was my one opportunity to get out of the state, get out of Dallas and just learn, move somewhere else. But I wanna, I wanna bring up something I'm supposed to be a good artist.

I was literally, I was two drawings away from being accepted into a an art gallery. At the ballpark in Arlington where the Texas Rangers used to play, I think they've torn it down. And the reason why the two pieces that I, the two pieces that I needed, couldn't be used as, cause I wrote the players names on there kind of in a stencil.

One was Michael Jordan. One was Scottie Pippin. And since it actually said it on there, then it became a rights issue. Even though there were one was wearing Nike's and they said Chicago bulls. And like, none of that, I guess, and sports art, there's like a gray area, but I had crossed the gray area. So I was that close.

So when I got the letter from the college, you know, one of the things I'll never forget it. It said you have to carefully reviewing your artwork. We have decided that, you know, you're not eligible for a, a for a scholarship, but we still like to offer you admission to our school opportunity. And at first I was kind of like. You guys have never even seen my art. This is BS. Screw you guys. But sitting back, it's like, okay, well, this is my only job. This is my first opportunities for school I applied for.

I want to get out and see the world we out and see the rest of the United States. And so I took that opportunity. So I, I say that to say that, you know, we're always going to have those re those semi rejections, but like Jim Rohn not Jim Rome, if Jim Rohn had said, you know, the same wind blows on us, all, it's a setting of your sail that determines your outcome.

And so I chose to set my sail to go right to school, even though I didn't get what I thought I deserved at the time. And at the end of the day, I didn't do illustration anyway. But, you know, it's kind of one of those things where I just kind of came of age and decided to get my life together. And you know, here I am now, many years later, not drawing it.

[00:54:28] Trista, Host: And still having a good life anyway, still

[00:54:31] Jhae Pfenning: having a good life.

[00:54:32] Trista, Host: Yes. Yeah. So I think this is the perfect time to ask you the question I like to ask all of my guests, how has self-worth played a role in your journey?

[00:54:44] Jhae Pfenning: I think self worth has played a role in my journey because there's a fin. There's a thing called pride, which never hurts.

It only never helps. It only hurts, but it's coming from the beginnings that I came from, rejections, not ever having really the girlfriend that you want growing up, you know, not really being in the, in-crowd not being in the sports. You feel like you have to prove that you belong here and it's not being fake to, it's not getting where you fit in, but it's, it's like, look that has, I think driven me to, to work harder.

To be known. I've always said with my job, it's like, look, I'm not interested in being employee number 88. I want to be Jhae Pfenning for better, for worse. And I want to do my job the best that I can to where if I'm sick tomorrow, people notice. And on the flip side of that is it's easy to say, well, you just have to be the star of the room.

You have to be on the spotlight. No, it is not that I don't like the spotlight, regardless of what my car looks like and everything that's kind of come along with it. That's actually in its purest form and expression of my art. That's all that really is expression of my art. My passion. When I come to a car show, I will park my car and I will run.

I don't stand there and say, Hey, does anybody have any questions? Can I help you with anything? And there's nothing wrong with that person, but that's not me. And I would always say that I would love to be the person, the dependable one, the one that helps, you know, Trista, Paula. When the lifetime achievement award for whatever reason, but I don't want to be on stage with Trista polo.

I'll be over there with a smirk on my face. Like, yeah, we did that. I mattered to Trista. And to me, that's what matters to me the most. And so those are the types of things it's just, and I guess it comes back to the family and feeling no one ever listens to me here, but the podcast people do. So I'm I, and I know, I matter to my family.

I mean, I obviously do,

[00:56:47] Trista, Host: but after 17 years you don't stay in a marriage for 17 years by accident.

[00:56:53] Jhae Pfenning: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Even with the kids, you know, everything, it's just, that's what keeps me going, you know, that's what keeps me going is, is proven that I belong proven that this podcast is, you know, should be up there based on feedback and you know, what can I do again, back to me, what can I do to get it to where it needs to be?

And if it does, if it never gets there, I'm fine with that. As long as I didn't sit back and just wonder what happened, knowing that I could have done.

[00:57:22] Trista, Host: I love that answer. So I have to ask because of how the whole conversation today started, how did you feel about what I shared about your review and everything?

It kind of created for me in my podcast journey,

[00:57:38] Jhae Pfenning: it felt like I made a difference. You know, I, I say when we do our charities not to pull on another thread, but you know, make a difference or don't, you know, I could tell you what you want to hear. This is the world's best pie and it's really freaking good. This is the world's best podcast. I don't know how it's, you know, not, you know, getting a million downloads.

This is so awesome. You're the best, don't change a thing because I know I need to change things. So if I need to change things, somebody out there has to change. You know, whether it's, you know, audio, maybe it's fixing my room, you know? So, you know, I, to know that you've held onto that and used me for better or for worse sounds like for better as kind of something to strive for.

That's that's freaking cool.

[00:58:27] Trista, Host: Yeah. And it is for better. So, anything else you want us to know about you? Because this is about you, obviously it starts with your plate and I love everything you shared. Is there anything else about you?

You want us to know

[00:58:42] Jhae Pfenning: I'm very even keeled and a lot of people see that as either not approachable or don't, or not caring or uptight, but I told you before, and I'll share it with the listeners that I also have another vehicle with another vanity. So there's a little bit of dark humor to me, but in a good way, dead panty.

And I think that plate shows it to people. So do you mind if I share that with the listeners and what that plate is? That's what this is, right story. So I have four us car people. We have our cars and we have our daily drivers. And so my daily driver is an Infiniti SUV. It's an FX 50 S which they only made for a few years and infinity decided to change it to QX 70 S but what's unique about it is it's a 5.0 5.0 motor, which that vehicle is the only infinity that ever had this 5.0 V8 motor.

And it's the S is it so there's, these cars are known for their bulbous shape. And so my license plate is MYFATX. So people think it's a, it's a relationship thing right now, MYFATX. So it's, I have a lot of fun with it.

[01:00:04] Trista, Host: That's just such a great plate because of course, people are going to make assumptions about the terrible person you used to be with that you would put that on,

[01:00:15] Jhae Pfenning: or the terrible person you are

[01:00:18] Trista, Host: like, what did they do to you?

[01:00:22] Jhae Pfenning: And both of my cars are technically Xs because it's NSX and FX. That's

[01:00:29] Trista, Host: the fatter, that's the fatter of the two Xs.

I love that. That's awesome. Well, you know, I like to turn the tables and see if you have a question for me. So what's your question for me, Jhae

[01:00:41] Jhae Pfenning: my question for you. Thank you for asking, what is your thought of clubhouse in general? Because you had mentioned it earlier and I've gotten kind of gone back and forth and I found some rooms I liked.

And then I found some rooms where all they're doing is giving each other high fives and telling everybody in the that they don't bring into the conversation to follow the people on stage. And I have these notifications and it's the same people I'm like, geez, don't these people have anything else better to do?

It's it's so-and-so is on stage. Someone shows talking. I'm like, what the heck? So I've kind of gone full circle, I think on clubhouse at first. I wasn't sure about it then. I kind of liked it now, personally. I'm a little unsure about it. What is your thought about club?

[01:01:26] Trista, Host: I have so much to say about the club and it's funny, you said, oh, that's what I'm going to ask you about.

And I've sort of had it in the back of my mind. I'm like brow. I really do have a lot to say. So I'll just start at the beginning. I found out about clubhouse from a friend who was on this thing I'd never heard of, but she was on it like 80 hours a week. Like every time I wanted to have a conversation with her, she had to work around her clubhouse time.

So I finally asked her like, you know, can I get in on this? Because I've always felt like if I could find the next big social media before it was big, right then I could do something with it. I keep getting involved in these social media platforms way at the end, I'm trying to catch up and learn everything.

Everybody already knows. I'm just trying to still figure out Instagram. Now you want me to do lives and reels. I'm so overwhelmed and confused that I just, you know, a confused mind can't make a decision. So I end up doing not enough or nothing. Here's this thing that's new. I can get in, you know, quote unquote, ground floor.

So she adds me on clubhouse and I'm like, I do not understand this. You go into a room and it's a bunch of people talking about themselves and each other, every single profile I read now, this was in January. So it wasn't right at the beginning, but it was pretty, you know, it was pretty new. It was, it was apple only.

It was invite only. It was waitlist only. And every single profile, they were billionaires who had a zillion followers and had been a TEDx speaker and had 16 books on bestseller. And I'm like, I am in over my head. Like these people are all way cooler, way more successful, way, bigger deals than I am. I'm just this, you know, entrepreneur who is, you know, living my best life over here, doing my best that I can, but you know, my friend, I know her off clubhouse and I figured if she deserves to be there then so do I even coach her on some stuff?

You know, I train her on some things. So if she's got something to say, I must have something to say too. So I never dove in as deeply as other people have. And I don't have 5,000 followers. I probably have 650 ish followers on clubhouse, which is a lot 600

[01:03:56] Jhae Pfenning: more than I think I have.

[01:03:58] Trista, Host: Well, considering that people only follow you after they've heard you speak and liked what you say and would listen to you again.

So a follower on clubhouse is a lot bigger deal. Not to minimize other platforms, but people don't just follow back on clubhouse as much as they do on other platforms. So I started a club for my company, which is I woke up. Awesome. I believe that we all woke up and just as we are, we're already perfect.

There's nothing to fix or change about you. I think that is a message that is not talked about enough. I think self-worth is the core of everything. So if you have a low self-worth the goals that you're creating and the dreams you have and the classes you take and the books you read, they will all be diminished.

If your self-worth is low, because you'll sabotage your own existence, your own results. So I think that message deserves to be talked about. And I think clubhouse is a great place to do that because I don't know if I could take on another podcast, to be honest with you. One at a time at this point is about all I can muster.

So we have some rooms throughout the week. But I have to say, I don't spend as much time in other people's rooms.

And maybe that sounds like egotistical or elitist or whatever. But I have been in so many rooms where either they've been around for a long time and there's this amoeba personality that's been created by the people that are always in there. And I'm not part of it. And so it's like this whole community that I don't understand, I'm not there talking about things.

They've been discussing over such. It's like going into a TV show at the last season, before it gets canceled. And you missed all the previous seasons and you have no idea who these people are, what's going on, how those bigger rooms feel. Yeah, yup. A hundred percent. And then I've been an I when I have to talk about this one room.

So I went in this one room. I liked the topic that she was talking about. You had to like agree before you went into this room that you would not promote yourself, your business, whatever. Like it was to be sharing information only, no promotion. And I swear, every other thing she said was promoting herself in her course and sign up for this.

And I'm like, I don't, I don't understand. Did you forget about the pop-up that you made me agree to before I came in this room? Or are you so like one sided that it has to be all about you to be in this room? And she invited me to her club and follow me on Instagram and all this other stuff. But I was like, you know, that's just, it, that's just not the vibe that I'm into.

, but here are some cool things. The the experience on clubhouse, first of all I am connected in my company with a big influencer. She has lots of followers, very successful blog. She's a billionaire like literally legit, not exaggerating. Yeah. And I got onto clubhouse and I said, where is she?

She needs, this is her venue. This is where she sh why isn't she here? And, you know, at the time you had like five invites, so you were hoarding them. Like you couldn't just give them to anybody. And I'm like, she has people on here that know her. Why hasn't she been in? She needs to be here. So I reached out and I said, Hey, do you want to be on clubhouse?

And she said, yes. So if you go to her profile, She was nominated for membership by me. I think that's super cool. Yeah. The second cool thing about clubhouse. I was in some random room. There were a zillion people in the audience, and I don't remember what they were talking about, but I was listening. Next thing I know Tony Robbins is in the audience, listening to the people on stage.

And that was the coolest evening of a playing field I've ever seen. Like some random person I've never heard of is talking about some random thing that was mediocre at best. And there's Tony Robbins in the audience listening, not calling himself up on stage, not being invited, just being in the audience, listening to whatever they had to say and getting whatever he got out of it.

I just thought that was amazing. And then the third cool thing about clubhouse, and this is the last thing. Is I got to listen to Elon Musk in his very first appearance on clubhouse, which was at like one in the morning. Cause it was Pacific time at 10:00 PM or something. My husband wanted to hear it. I wanted to hear it.

So he stayed up and woke me up because I'm definitely not a night owl. And we just listened to Elon Musk on clubhouse, just sharing and talking and being interviewed. So that's my answer about clubhouse. I would love to hear your reaction to what I shared cause I was sort of all over the place.

[01:08:45] Jhae Pfenning: No, I mean, to be fair clubhouses all over the place, because you know, the, the, the three, the 1, 2, 3 that you really like about it, I will agree. Or the best things about it. I mean, you have access you're in the same room as people, but there's so many. Bad rooms. There's so many rooms of people trying to sell you stuff.

You know, the latest Instagram algorithm is just released, come in here and we'll tell you all about it. Send me a DM and I'll share it with you. And you're like, Hey, what's up? They're like, Hey, go to here and sign up for my, I was like, screw you. Nope, not clicking unfollow block, you know, but you know, I've had, I've been in a few rooms that were kind of fun, you know, and one of my favorite rooms, unfortunately fizzled out, it was called the podcast lunch hour and there was five or six.

Yeah. Yeah. Those, I mean, I still keep in contact with some of those guys and I follow all the regulars and they even let me like substitute moderate at one day. But yeah, but now it's, it got moved to every Wednesday and now it's just not going on at all, even a Wednesday. And that's the one room that I kind of looked forward to because it was a smaller group and everybody was bouncing ideas off each other.

It kind of reminded me. You know, going through this last year and the pandemic or where there was just this rebirth of all these new podcasters. And then usually I just miss them and there's a few car ones that I get into, you know, but it's, it's so few and far, and I'm just curious on, you know, what the future of that platform is because you're right.

It's just another thing. And there's some excellent networking opportunities within those. Just a lot of people that just kind of want to sell you their stuff and you have to kind of sift through it. And I don't know. I mean, I don't, I mean, clubhouse is something you can jump in and out of, I don't do the, I call it the Tik TOK machine just to make myself sound like I'm really old, but you know, that's another platform that people just love, you know?

And I was talking to a guy in the local senior of the day and he goes, oh man, I have, I'm just needing a few more to get 3 million followers. I'm like, holy crap, dude. That's pretty cool for you. Like. I well, my personality, I would suck on TikTok. I can't be silly. I just, it's just me and just me in a 22nd clip is absolutely not very interesting.

So,

[01:11:06] Trista, Host: well, I like what you said about the podcast platform piece, because that is the fourth thing I do like about clubhouse is if you're part of a niche like the podcast or community, I'm currently writing a novel, you can find people in your tribe really easily because there are clubs and there are rooms and, and you can go and just be part of that conversation.

I don't have anybody around here to talk to about podcasts. I wouldn't even know where to find them, but on clubhouse, I can just go hang out with podcasters and podcast rooms. I'm sad to hear that the, the lunch hour thing isn't happening anymore.

[01:11:45] Jhae Pfenning: The same thing struggling lately. Yeah.

[01:11:47] Trista, Host: Yeah. Well, cause there were three guys I'm remembering Tanner.

And I'm forgetting the two other guys' names, but they actually created a company, the three of them, and they created a website and a community and all kinds of training and stuff. And I thought that lunch hour was part of their situation, but I don't really know what happened with it. Yeah.

[01:12:09] Jhae Pfenning: I haven't been around long enough and I mean, it could be the same lunch hour.

There could be 30 lunch hours, you know, it's, that's, that's clubhouse.

[01:12:21] Trista, Host: That's true. Well, I have had an amazing time and I appreciate the extra time because we've gone over our typical hour, that was in your calendar. So thank you for that. And in the spirit of longer episodes, get more listeners. I think I'm going to leave this long and see what happens.

[01:12:40] Jhae Pfenning: Oh no. Oh no. Yeah. It's been a pleasure being on here.

[01:12:45] Trista, Host: Yeah, I've really enjoyed our conversation and I will, I'll continue to strive to see how I can improve because you know, it does. It's true. Like, what else can you do? What's next? What, what can you improve? How can you, how can you grow in this area? So thank you for that inspiration, right from the beginning.

Thanks. Yeah. Thanks so much.

This is Trista polo wishing you well on the road to your next adventure.

Plate 73 - MAELEA Featuring Maelea from TN on Trista's PL8STORY Podcast

trista@iwokeupawesome.com (Trista Polo) — Thu, 06 Jan 2022 05:15:02 GMT

Plate 73 - MAELEA featuring Maelea from TN

In today’s episode we meet Maelea from Tenessee. Maelea Galyon helps business leaders create robust solutions, build community, and share their brilliance by running kick-ass mastermind groups. Using proven structure and process, she creates an environment where leaders help one another level up and gives them a safe place to share their most pressing issues. Whether the topic is boosting sales, dealing with employees, or developing a marketing strategy, Maelea is masterful at facilitating powerful conversations where participants walk away with actionable solutions. If that sounds interesting to you, schedule a call with her by going to https://calendly.com/buildingrelationships. Learn more at https://turnitupconsulting.com. Enjoy this episode and want to buy me a cup of coffee? https://www.buymeacoffee.com/pl8story

Connect with Maelea on Social:

https://www.facebook.com/CollaborationSuperhero

https://www.linkedin.com/in/collaborationsuperhero/

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Episode Transcript:

MAELEA

[00:00:00] Trista, Host: hey there Trista Polo here with this week's plate story. In today's episode, we meet Maelea from Tennessee. Her license plate is as unique as her name. It's Maelea. While the plate itself is retired. Maylee is not. And we'll hear all about how she is making a difference for business owners around the country. Maelea is an expert at masterminds and brings her 25 years in public education to support local business. Maelea is a grandmother, a singer, and an expert collaborator. We'll hear her story, but first, some plate story news.

In October of 2021. The LA times did a vanity plate story of their own. They featured 18 different vanity plate owners in and around Los Angeles. Most of the stories featured were chosen from hundreds of applicants that replied to a tweet from the publication . Others were spotted on the roads of LA and contacted directly. I've been in touch with some of the plate owners featured and we'll be featuring them in a future episode of my podcast, going into much more depth about their story and the story behind their vanity plates. We have some very cool interviews coming up in the coming months.

Now let's go meet the very cool Maelea.

Welcome to this week's episode of Trista's plate story podcast. I'm excited to have Maelea Galyon from Tennessee with us. She's sharing the story behind her plate. MAELEA Maelea. Thank you.

[00:01:30] Maelea, Guest: I'm excited to be here.

[00:01:32] Trista, Host: I'm so happy to have you. Now. This is a license plate you had in the past. You don't have it anymore, but I just think you are fantastic.

And so any excuse to have you on my podcast, I was like, let's do it all. Yes. So tell me the story behind your plate and you have it with you, right? Do you want to show the people watching on

[00:01:52] Maelea, Guest: video?

As you were talking, I was thinking about when did I actually have it, last on my car and here you go

[00:02:05] Trista, Host: a little longer than I'd like to think that is from now. Yeah. And that I was,

[00:02:12] Maelea, Guest: I had just gotten my driver's license. Don't you?

[00:02:15] Trista, Host: Oh, my gosh. Okay, good. Right. So tell me you chose your plate to be your first name.

Why did you choose that? Well,

[00:02:26] Maelea, Guest: I grew up in a small town in east Tennessee, outside of Knoxville, and I was the only Maelea and still. I probably am the only Maelea that I've ever met. I've had people tell me that they knew somebody with a name similar to that, but but growing up, you know, like other little girls would get shirts with their names on them or key chains or bracelets or something like that.

And that doesn't happen when your name is Maelea. So It was a way, it was a way to have something with my name on it. But also I realized by the time I got this plate, that a lot of people in my town remembered me. And one of the reasons that many people did remember me even years later was because I had such an unusual.

[00:03:18] Trista, Host: You know, I have a similar issue. Trista is not the sort of name that you find even today when it's a more common name than it was growing up. I still look for the shot glasses and the key chains and the cups and the plates and all the things they make like in beach towns in those gift shops, never, never, the closest I have found is Tristan or Tricia, neither of which is my name. Is there anything like that for you where your name is similar enough to something else where you're like almost, but

[00:03:50] Maelea, Guest: yeah. So I'll see may, you know, just Mae, I will see that at times, and even like, if I go to Starbucks and they ask, you know, like, what's the name you want on it?

I'll just say, Mae they typically will spell it MAY, but you know, so that's about as close as I come is the.

[00:04:08] Trista, Host: All right. Well, that's pretty close, but no cigar. Yes, exactly. How did your parents come up with this name? It's so unusual. Yeah. And

[00:04:17] Maelea, Guest: I love telling my name story, so I appreciate the opportunity to do that.

My grandmothers were Doris Maye and Mary Lee. So I am Maelea was named for both of them.

[00:04:31] Trista, Host: I love that. Oh my goodness. That's lovely. My sister's name is Dava and she was named after her father David. And so she has an unusual name as well. Although again, more popular as the years have gone by my name.

Story's not as interesting as yours, but I'll share it since I've never shared it on the podcast before. Yay. So my mother had. I can't remember what their relationship was, if it was her grandmother or great-grandmother named Anna Kay. And she loved this name and that's what she wanted to name me and my father hated it.

Thank goodness, because I don't really like it either. So they kept the Kay as my middle name. And then they went through a name book and found my name and they both agreed on it and liked it. And they were pretty young at the time. So good on them for being able to agree. Not being too obstinate about the choice.

And what's funny is that I don't have the name Kay anymore. When I got married, I dropped it because when I was a kid, I have this one aunt that would combine them just, and I just did not like, and Kay just never really resonated with me. So I dropped it when I got married and now I have no middle. But that's my name, story such as it is.

[00:05:55] Maelea, Guest: And everybody's got one. I love hearing. I

[00:05:58] Trista, Host: love hearing people's names. Stories. Yeah. Well, you probably would because like me, your name is significant to who you are and you've never met another Maelea now. Okay. I want to tell you Leah.

[00:06:14] Maelea, Guest: Or a Mary Lee, but not a, Maelea

[00:06:19] Trista, Host: I have met a couple of Trista's in my life.

And I'll tell you, the first one was, I was in college and it was jarring. I didn't know how to be with somebody who had my name, because up until then that name was only mine. I didn't have to share it. And so the only identity I put to that name was my own. So to see somebody who didn't look like me talk like me act like me.

It was very upsetting. I was surprised at how much of a An identity crisis. It gave me like, who am I? It's

[00:06:53] Maelea, Guest: interesting to me because now that you say that I can't remember what I was doing, that it's been in the last, like two weeks. I what was I looking at? Maybe it was a social media platform or something.

And typed to my name in, and I saw another person with the name spelled exactly like mine. Now I have no way of knowing if they pronounce it the same way as me or whatever. And it was uncomfortable. So, yeah, I can see where that would be

[00:07:22] Trista, Host: uncomfortable. Yeah. Now Mark's John's and Russell's are not going to understand how we feel.

They'll just never get it. It's only something you can understand if you have a name as unique as we do. Yeah. So it's nice to have somebody who gets that, who like feels that with me. It's funny

[00:07:42] Maelea, Guest: too. Like my son's name is Troy. And for, for people over 30 or 40, that's kind of a common boy's name, but Troy is 26 and he's never met another Troy.

So even though he has what you and I might think of as a common name, he's in that same boat where he doesn't know anybody

[00:08:04] Trista, Host: with the same name, either. Well, warn him, don't let him get caught off guard

[00:08:11] Maelea, Guest: that I'll do that.

[00:08:14] Trista, Host: That's awesome. Well, you are more than your name as we all are. So tell me a little about yourself.

What do you do for a living? What's your passion and your profession? Gotcha. Well my

[00:08:24] Maelea, Guest: passion right now is my family because I have a brand new granddaughter who was born in October of 2021. But What I do with most of my time, I have a company called Turn It Up Consulting and I run mastermind groups for entrepreneurs and business leaders.

, I had the opportunity in the last few months to put some groups together and watch them collaborate and be enable to facilitate that kind of powerful collaborative work really does feed my soul and it energizes me.

I'm learning the more that I do this work. With business folks that it really is powerful. Even for me, not just for the participants, but for me,

[00:09:08] Trista, Host: Now I've seen masterminds. I've been involved with them before. I've read about the start of the word. I don't know if that's, when it was created, but from think and grow rich book.

What's your take on a mastermind since it is sometimes overused. Tell me a little about what you mean by that. Gotcha.

[00:09:26] Maelea, Guest: So I'm glad that you brought Napoleon Hill's definition that because it is a definition that I use because it works for me. And I will tell you that I have two things. That I talk about that are maybe different than other mastermind groups.

One is what I call the golden role of collaboration. And that is safety. Collaboration is only as effective as the safety of the space because in order for that collaboration to be really, really powerful, people need to be willing to be vulnerable with one another. You have to feel safe to do that.

So safety is what I call the golden rule. And I would tell you that my special sauce is structure. So I use protocols and structure conversations to help the folks in my mastermind groups get to solutions quickly. We don't waste time where we're on it.

[00:10:22] Trista, Host: I love that. And the structure comes from your background.

You have quite an extensive background, not in the business world, that helped you set yourself up and your clients up powerfully share a little bit about what you did before you started your business.

[00:10:36] Maelea, Guest: Sure. So I spent 25 years in public education and started out as a classroom teacher, like most folks in public ed, but didn't stay there for a really long time.

I was fortunate enough to get tapped as a change agent early on in my career. So I had the opportunity to really lead new implementations and big transitions and big changes in my school district. And I got some really super powerful training in leading collaborative work in early two thousands.

And so I have literally been doing this kind of work just in a different space. But leading that and facilitating that kind of really powerful collaboration in the public ed space for a long time before I brought it out into the

[00:11:24] Trista, Host: entrepreneurial. Wow. So you moved from education to business. I don't know a lot of people that have made that transition.

What made you decide to do that?

[00:11:35] Maelea, Guest: Well, I was at a place where I had done most of the things in a school district that I wanted to do, and I knew that collaborative work. That was so powerful in the education space, working with teachers and school administrators and district leaders and communities, quite frankly if brought into the business space could be every bit as powerful.

So when I came out of public ed and into this space, I've joined a couple of mastermind groups, myself. and I haven't found one yet. Is this powerful is that I think mine are. It's okay. You can own it. I'm good with that. I'm still looking for that mastermind facilitator for me.

[00:12:25] Trista, Host: So, yeah, it's true. Like every psychiatrist needs a psychiatrist.

Every coach needs a coach and every mastermind facilitator needs a mastermind facilitator. Right. We all need to have somebody level us up so we can continue to level up the people that we work with, you know of that. Yeah, absolutely. What kinds of focuses do you have for your mastermind?

Like who's your typical client when you're setting up these mastermind?

[00:12:55] Maelea, Guest: So I have worked mostly with small business owners or leaders. So I might have someone in a mastermind group who is an event DJ, or I might have someone who is the owner of a contracting firm or someone who owns a donut shop.

So. All over the place. Like I've got solo preneurs, small business leaders, people who are owners or just leaders. Maybe they're a manager in a bigger enterprise, but most of the folks that I'm working with have businesses with fewer than a hundred employees. So I'm really looking at those folks and business leadership who are in the small businesses.

[00:13:43] Trista, Host: Yeah, I get that. And so would you put just DJs together or would you put the DJ, the donut shop and the plumber together in one

[00:13:52] Maelea, Guest: with the DJ and the donut shop owner and the plumber together? All in one, because in Maelea's world diversity wins diversity rules where the real power. In this kind of collaborative work comes is in those ideas that spring out of nowhere like that creativity that arises when people with different backgrounds, experiences, expertise, knowledge are talking about the same thing, then connections get made that wouldn't get made outside of that space.

[00:14:27] Trista, Host: Yeah. And that's counterintuitive to what I would think. Like what does a donut shop owner know that's going to help out a DJ, but I can see what you're saying. That being able to have a perspective that is not knee deep or eyeball deep in your same industry, will be able to see something that you might not have seen because of your industry experience.

I think that's what.

[00:14:50] Maelea, Guest: The other thing that happens is that in the, in the work of my mastermind groups, I teach some skills around effective collaboration and one of those skills is listen. Another one of those skills is be curious. And so as I'm teaching people to listen and be curious, they are also practicing that in their collaborative work.

And so they are sometimes able to hear that donut shop owners perspective in a way that they would not have heard it without the lessons about listening and being curious.

[00:15:29] Trista, Host: That's beautiful because you're bringing a lot of your education change agents structures to your business owners. And I could see that being hugely valuable because where else would you get that kind of training in the business world unless you're in education.

Yeah.

[00:15:46] Maelea, Guest: And, and a lot of, a lot of those skills that I'm teaching in those mastermind groups. I learned out of doing that work with all those public educators. And so. And in the education space, everybody's a learner, you know, so I know that when you're in the business space, especially business people who are interested in growing, they think of themselves as learners.

But when you work in the education sphere, everybody's a learner and it's, it's just the way of doing business. And so, yes, there are things that I've brought into the business space out of that education space that I don't, I don't know that other folks are focusing on.

[00:16:29] Trista, Host: Yeah, well, you have a unique perspective, which allows you to have a unique offering, which I love.

So do you have any programs coming up that people might be interested in? You know, if they're looking for a mastermind or if they're intrigued by the kinds of things that you offer? Yeah,

[00:16:48] Maelea, Guest: absolutely. First of all, I'll do. Almost always had open seats available in new mastermind groups. So I'd love to talk with anybody who would be interested there, but I'm also partnering with a really good friend of mine, Yolanda Robertson of Savored Moments Travel, and we are doing a destination strategic planning retreat for women business leaders.

So we're going to be doing three nights at the Sanderlin resort. On the outer banks of North Carolina on January 13th through 16th. And during those three days, all the ladies will develop their action plans for 2022 based on their vision of an optimal year. And they're going to walk away with a calendared action plan for their business for 2022

[00:17:40] Trista, Host: woo. That's amazing. Now what if somebody is in business they're entrepreneurial, but they don't really have a vision. Do you help them with that piece or do they really need to be visionaries to be part of this? No,

[00:17:52] Maelea, Guest: absolutely. It's a part of what we will be doing is creating that vision. What December, 2022 would look like if the year went really, really well.

[00:18:01] Trista, Host: That sounds really great. Now this is a destination retreat type of a program. So you're staying on the outer banks. How much fun is there? I mean, is there some fun built in, well, duh,

[00:18:17] Maelea, Guest: Trista, if you're going somewhere with Maelea we are going to play every bit as hard as we're going to work. And we work really hard, so

[00:18:27] Trista, Host: awesome.

Work hard, play hard. So you're not sitting in a room watching the beach go by, focused on work the whole time. There'll be plenty of time for fun too. I love it. What a perfect partnership, a travel expert and a business expert together. I mean, who could do better than that? That's amazing. We're excited about.

That's awesome. I love it. So now you said that you have a new grand baby I'm sure. Knowing you and being friends with you on Facebook. I'm sure you're gonna want to talk about that. Cause I see lots of pictures. So tell us all about it.

[00:19:01] Maelea, Guest: Yes. So my son and his wife had a baby girl in October of 2021. Her name is Edie and she is adorable.

She was born in October and she's got a head full of hair that sticks straight up, off her head. And as we record this she's moving a lot and she's like, got her eyes open a good bit. She's expressive. So it's, it's a lot of fun playing with the new grandbaby.

[00:19:30] Trista, Host: That's awesome. Well, congratulations. Now that what's her name story?

[00:19:36] Maelea, Guest: So she, my father's name and my daughter-in-law's father's named, they are both named ed. And so her name is ed. Which is the tip of the hat to both her grandfather and her great-grandfather.

[00:19:54] Trista, Host: I love that Edie that's cool. It's almost an old timey name too, right?

I feel like that's a name you would have heard many, many years ago. Do you know the, the name what it means? Do you know the name? I don't.

[00:20:09] Maelea, Guest: Yeah, to look that up though. Now that you say.

[00:20:11] Trista, Host: Yeah. Yes. That's very, very cool. Well, congratulations to them and to you. And are they nearby? You get to see them a lot.

I do. I do. Yup.

[00:20:21] Maelea, Guest: I so funny story. We were visiting with my little brother and his family last night and I'm holding the baby. And so I've got it this morning and I was going to put the same shirt on and I saw this stuff on that shoulder of my shirt and I'm like, what? Oh, that's Edie.

[00:20:36] Trista, Host: Oh, that's so great. And it sounds like you spent a lot of time with family. Like that's definitely something that you're passionate about. What gifts do you receive from your family that you're really grateful for? Oh, wow.

[00:20:50] Maelea, Guest: I don't, I don't have enough time to tell you all of them, but here's what I will say is that my family is expressive. So we actually tell each other that we love each other. We hug one another, we kiss one another. And those are very special gifts cause I know there are families out there that are not expressive in that way... and time.

We enjoy being together. We are storytellers. We share stories. I like to say to illustrate how much we storytell in my family. I have a great uncle who died during world war II. And I feel like I know him, he died before I was born. And I feel like I know him because I come from the family it's storytellers.

So to me, those are the gifts, time, affection and

[00:21:43] Trista, Host: stories. I love what you're saying here because my husband lost his father several years ago. I still hear him share the stories his father shared about members of his family, about his grandfather, et cetera. And every time he tells the story, it's like, he's with his dad.

It's like his dad is there with us. And so it's his way of keeping him close, you know, keeping him alive in his heart. So the storytelling thing is a beautiful thing to bring. What's your love language. Do you know your love language, acts of service? Acts of service. Okay. See, now that would not be what I would have guessed, because you said you love to be with your family and you love to hear stories.

Those are words of affirmation and quality time, not acts of service.

[00:22:35] Maelea, Guest: So in that, like that's my role in our family is so the things that I've gotten from my family are the, the time and the stories, but what I. Like, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a doer. Action is, is what I give. And so that's the thing that I look for as well. I love the, I love, you know, do

[00:22:58] Trista, Host: some stuff. Oh yeah, that's great.

Mine is quality time. So I'm the one that says I'll be right over. Is there something wrong? I'll be right there. Or when I visit some family, they'll say let's put a movie on them. Like a movie. I could watch a movie at home. We're here, what's together.

[00:23:19] Maelea, Guest: And say like, if something happens, I don't say I'll be right there. I say, what can I do?

[00:23:24] Trista, Host: Hmm. I find the love languages to be so fascinating. And of course, I think we all have combinations. Like we like personality traits. We have primary and secondary and tertiary and a combination, but I find it fascinating to see how we express love, because it can get a little dicey if I express love differently than my spouse, for example, my husband, his is also acts of service. So when I do things for him, like a simple thing, like making breakfast, it is like, I've showered him with Valentines. Right. It takes very little you're right. But for me, all I want him to do is look up from the computer and look me in the eye when I'm talking to him.

And then I feel like he is my Knight in shining armor. So it's funny how we interact with people and we have different. Love languages, for sure. So I always, we're talking about love languages, but I always like to talk a little bit about self-worth because that's such a big part of my own journey.

I'd love to hear. If you could share, how has self-worth played a role in your journey?

[00:24:33] Maelea, Guest: Oh, wow. Yeah, it's always one of those things in the back of my head. I'm that person that has always been striving to do more and be more. And I think a part of that is a way of feeling more worthy, you know, that's that perfectionism and all of those things.

And that just, you know, we've all had things in our background that shake that sense of self-worth. And I guess when that gets shaken, we all respond in different ways. And for me, that is about striving and getting better and performance and growth. That's how that's how that gets expressed for me.

[00:25:19] Trista, Host: Yeah. Thank you for sharing that. I I'm always about what can I do more? How can I be better? And so I resonate very much with that. Now you express yourself and you do so musically. That's got to take a little self-worth. Tell me about your musical background and how you express that these days. So.

[00:25:43] Maelea, Guest: I've done music since I was a tiny child.

I remember some of my cousins got together when I was little and gave me a little electric keyboard. And so I started playing when I was very young, took piano lessons all through school, and I actually was a voice major. I have a bachelor's degree in vocal performance. And then I turned around and went right back to school and got certified to teach math. So

[00:26:08] Trista, Host: those don't sound the same, but they really are because the notes and music and all that, it's very mathematical. Yes. It's very

[00:26:16] Maelea, Guest: mathematical. And so what I, what I did for a long time was I just got my musical love out in different ways. You know, I sang in a church choir or something like that, but for about 30 years now, I've been singing with a cover band here in my hometown.

I've have just moved back to my hometown after being away for about seven years. And so we are finally again, practicing like on the regular, like weekly. And so it's very, it is my place of joy. I say when I think about the word joy, I think about singing with my best friend and having her in my ear and that sound of us making harmony together.

[00:27:02] Trista, Host: So. Very cool. What kind of music do you play in the band? Oh gosh.

[00:27:07] Maelea, Guest: It's really, it's really all over the place. Most of us are in our middle years, so we'd play some old pop and some country and folk and Americana. Yeah, it's just kind of all over the place, but mostly acoustic. So vocals is our thing.

That's what I would say we are known for is the vocals that we have some great acoustic guitarists and awesome.

[00:27:37] Trista, Host: Yeah. I love it. What are some of your personal favorites to perform?

[00:27:41] Maelea, Guest: We have been singing an old John Prine song called Angel from Montgomery for years. It is like. Our signature song when we play anywhere here in town.

And we just recently picked up an old John Denver team called Some Days are Diamonds. That is quite

[00:28:03] Trista, Host: lovely. Yeah, right. That's great. What else about yourself? Do you want to share?

[00:28:09] Maelea, Guest: I would just say that my most joyful role in life is that of being a mom. I'm learning that being a grandmother might be even more rewarding than being a mom, but motherhood is like best thing ever.

[00:28:28] Trista, Host: Oh, that's beautiful. I love that. Well, I've so enjoyed having you on. You're always such a pleasure to chat with. I like to turn the tables to see if you have a question you'd like to ask me. So do you have one in the holster ready to go? I do.

[00:28:43] Maelea, Guest: All right, let's do it. So Trista, tell me about the most powerful collaborative project you've ever done.

[00:28:53] Trista, Host: This is a very hard one for me, Maelea because up until pretty recently, I had limiting belief that if you want something done, right, you got to do it yourself. I work with a team of people and I am the coach/leader / trainer for this group. And recently, I had this epiphany because of a training program I went through that I'm actually by, by having that belief and working with a team, I am constricting their ability to grow because I'm not allowing them to learn, to be leaders. And so out of that, I created an accountable team where each of us is responsible for a different piece. We work collaboratively together.

I'm the team lead still, but I rely on their knowledge and ideas and their contributions. And the most amazing thing happened. First of all, I learned that I am not the smartest person in the room and that there are other ideas that are actually better than mine. And when I collaborate with others, we're a lot smarter together than I am on my own.

I learned of course, that you can get more done when you have more people working on it, but I'm a better leader now because I'm allowing other people to grow into leadership. And we use leadership as a training opportunity. So I would have to say that's the most powerful collaboration that I've participated in.

Well, Maelea I wish you all the best and I definitely want to recommend people reach out to you for mastermind as well as the retreat.

I think both are amazing. And I thank you so, so much for sharing your story and your plate story here on Trista's plate story podcast.

[00:30:48] Maelea, Guest: Thank you very much. I had a great time. I appreciate it. All

[00:30:51] Trista, Host: right. Thanks.

This is Trista polo wishing you well on the road to your next adventure.

Plate 72 - BET T WHT (Betty White) with Thomas Dillingham III from Ohio

trista@iwokeupawesome.com (Trista Polo) — Sun, 02 Jan 2022 20:44:19 GMT

Plate 72 - BET T WHT (Betty White) with Thomas Dillingham III from Ohio

This week we meet Thomas Dillingham III from Ohio. He’s the owner of The Detail Garage in Ohio. Thomas’ plate - BET T WHT - pays tribute to an American hero whom we lost just shy of her 100th birthday. Thomas has loved Betty White since he watched The Golden Girls with his mom as a kid. He still watches the reruns today with his own family. He also loves cars, a love he has passed on to one of his children. Thomas shares his experience with the foster system and how he went from being single to married with 2 children in just a handful of months. That was 6 years ago and while it was rocky at first, he wouldn’t change a thing.

This episode is being aired for the first time just days after Betty White’s passing, which was just weeks before her 100th birthday. We send our condolences as well to White’s family, friends and fans. She was and will always be American’s Golden Girl. https://www.thedetailgarageohio.com

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Connect with Thomas:

https://facebook.com/thedetailgarageohio

https://instagram.com/thedetailgarage

https://instagram.com/carsncoffee_spfld

https://instagram.com/lowandslow_3

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Transcript of Full Episode

BET T WHT

[00:00:00] Trista, Host: Trista polo with this week's plate story. We will spend some time this week with Thomas Dillingham. The third. Thomas is the owner of the detailed garage in Ohio and his plate. BET T WHT pays tribute to an American hero who we lost, just shy of her hundredth birthday. Thomas has loved Betty White since he watched the golden girls with his mom as a kid, he still watches the reruns today with his own family. He also loves cars, a, love he has passed on to one of his children. Thomas shares his experience with the foster system and how he went from being single to married with two children in just a handful of months. That was six years ago. And while it was Rocky at first, he wouldn't change a thing. But first in plate story news,

The famous ASSMAN from Seinfeld has passed away as well. Lou Cutell who played many character actor roles in his career, including a proctologist on the hundred and seventh episode of Seinfeld passed away at 91 on November 21st, 2021. In this Seinfeld episode, Kramer gets his license plates from the DMV, which read ASSMAN.

He suspects, they belong to a proctologist, which is confirmed when he takes Frank Costanza to see Dr. "ASSMAN" Cooperman played by Cutell. Cooperman confirms they are his vanity plates while treating Frank Costanza for the Fusilli Jerry, he has stuck in his butt.Cutell was also known for his role as big Larry on Pee-wee Herman's Big Adventure in the eighties. Our condolences go out to family, friends and fans of Cutell. May he rest in peace. Now let's go meet Thomas who chose to honor the late great Betty White with his vanity plate.

This episode is being aired for the first time, just days after Betty White's passing, which was just weeks before her hundredth birthday. We send our condolences as well to the White family friends. And fans. She was and will always be America's golden girl.

so excited to have Thomas Dillingham ham with me today. His license plate is BET T WHT. He's from Ohio, born and raised in Lincoln Heights, Cincinnati and he's living in Dayton. Welcome Thomas. It's great to have you on this. Now your license plate was one that I saw roaming around the internet and I just absolutely loved it. It was one of my favorites. It's B E T space T and then w H T. And so even though it's. consolidated, it's clear what it is. It's Betty White, which I love, but I was, interested in the story behind it.

So why did you choose Betty White as your license plate?

[00:02:55] Thomas Dillingham III: it just kind of, what is one of those I've had license plates before that were just that hinted at things? I have another car that the license plate was a bud light. Because the car is in infinity, kinda made people think, and they were like, well, why did you do that?

So, and, and then I grew up kind of watching golden girls as a child. And then, Betty White, it just, I think in awesome individual. So I was like, and my car is white and it's a station wagon. And I was like, cool that he was.

[00:03:32] Trista, Host: I love it. Now you told me when we talked before you sometimes get looks, when you get out of your car, having that license plate.

Tell me a little about that.

[00:03:41] Thomas Dillingham III: Yeah. well it's one, it's a BMW station wagon. It's lowered. It's only probably maybe an inch and a half, two inches off the ground. And I am a six, four, almost 300 pounds black dates. So it was so big. We were like, why does he have Betty White in the back of his car? He's not even though he's probably not even old enough to remember the golden girl.

I'm like, yeah, And I did watch it and I still watch it to this day, but yeah, it's, it's one of those, it's just like, it's kind of not, I guess, an oxymoron, if that's the correct term for it.

[00:04:22] Trista, Host: I love it. I think that's great. Do people ever ask you about it

[00:04:26] Thomas Dillingham III: every now and then? but I, I don't know. so I don't know if people, they just see it and they just look and they just kind of do like a double take and they're like, or they'll drive by and wave and say, and like point like that's, that's cool or whatever.

So, yeah, but I don't drive a car that often. So, when I get it out, that's when I get the.

[00:04:50] Trista, Host: Yes. Well, I see a lot of license plates out there, both when I'm driving around and on the internet, as you can imagine, people sharing with me all the time, having a podcast like this, and that's one of the more fun ones that I've seen. now golden girls watching that as a little kid.

That seems like maybe you would've watched other stuff that would have been more, you know, aimed at you. That was like a lot of retired ladies living in Florida. What had you watching that as a kid?

[00:05:18] Thomas Dillingham III: well, because there was an attempt to really watch and my parents were not together, but, my mom, there was one TV at my mom's house.

And well, growing up there was one TV. So it was a, well, you have to watch what I watch and that was it. whatever, whatever was golden girls and then whatever she watched after that. So that's what we had to watch. And if you wanted to watch TV, it was golden girls and, Dukes of hazard or whatever was on golf,

whatever was on the TV at the time.

[00:05:50] Trista, Host: It's a little different than today, where there's a TV in every single room of the house. Right. Then watch TV on your phone now.

[00:05:57] Thomas Dillingham III: Absolutely.

[00:06:00] Trista, Host: Awesome. So now you're a business owner. You have a detailing company. Tell me about your, your business.

[00:06:08] Thomas Dillingham III: I own what's called the detail garage been detailing for, I would say almost 20 years, I guess. I mean, Cleaning cars, you know, as a teenager. And then as I got older, I started actually realizing what detailing was. and then it turned into a business. I turned it into a business about five years in February. before that

[00:06:35] Trista, Host: that's an important milestone. Yes they say, right? Like the 95% of businesses fail in the first five years. So congratulations on that. Awesome milestone.

[00:06:46] Thomas Dillingham III: Thank you. Thank you. it's been a side hustle. and then I decided to turn it into a business, and then next year we're moving forward with, with some other things and things are starting to fall into place. So, that, but, it's always been. I have a full-time job plus this full-time job. So I've always, always been a balancing act, trying to keep both of the, you know, keep my sanity with my day job and then also try to run a business and it, it can be hectic sometimes, but it's

[00:07:22] Trista, Host: absolutely, and you're a family man too.

So in addition to your full-time job and your business, you also have a family.

[00:07:30] Thomas Dillingham III: Yes. married two girls, my wife and I adopted two girls officially next year will be three years, but we've had them so crazy story. My wife and I got together, we were together. We've been married for six years and we were only together like two and a half, three months before I proposed.

But they, after I proposed, she got a phone call saying, Hey, we need you to do a kinship placement for what? What is her cousin?

So instead of it, the, her, my daughter, our daughter, going into the system, they, they try to find a family member to take the child prior to them going into foster care or foster care system. So they do a kinship. Literally the day after I proposed, she gets a phone call. We had the weekend to get the house together and it was, it was all instant family from that point. about a month after that case, now we have a caseworker caseworker calls and says, Hey, the birth mother is pregnant. We're not going to let her keep the child. Do you guys. I want to take her. We're like, absolutely not. We can't do it. I mean, we literally have had my oldest for a month and I'm like, I don't know if we could do a newborn.

So January rolls around. She's like, Hey, I have to get her out of the. The house, the foster house, that foster home that she's in. She's just not, she's not being mistreated, but it was just not a good situation. she texted my wife. I'm like, okay. So my wife had decided to take, take, bring in Heather.

I'm like, alright, cool. I have three adopted siblings. And I'm like, I can't let this girl grow up without her sister. So she showed us, brings her over. You know, I think it was a Tuesday by the following Tuesday, we had a four month old, so I'm like, oh, and we were getting married in six weeks later. So I'm like, oh man, this is, this is a, so yeah, that, that it's been that ever since.

[00:10:09] Trista, Host: Wow. So you just jumped right into the deep end.

[00:10:13] Thomas Dillingham III: Oh yeah, no, no, no, no, no. Berkeley water just let's go.

[00:10:20] Trista, Host: That's right. And how has it been? How long ago was that?

[00:10:25] Thomas Dillingham III: That was so July, July of 2014 is when we got the oldest. January of (20) 15 is when we got my youngest. And then we got married March of 2015 on PI day 3/14/15. wow. And then we adopted them for Memorial day weekend to two years ago.

[00:10:56] Trista, Host: Wow. That's a rollercoaster ride. So how has it been for you guys? I mean, you just kinda jumped in you, you, you did that thing. Would they say, jump off the cliff and figure out the parachute on the way down.

Right?

[00:11:11] Thomas Dillingham III: Mission impossible type stuff. So

[00:11:15] Trista, Host: how is it just for you as a family?

[00:11:19] Thomas Dillingham III: I mean, for me, it was, I come from a big family. I come from a family that, you know, I have an older brother it's me. And then my mom had triplets. and then my dad and my stepmom decided they weren't able to physically have children.

So they adopted, ended up adopting 3. So I'm 15. And then I have a sister that's 13, two sisters that are 13 years younger than me and then a brother that's 15 years younger than me. so yeah, and I'm just not one to try to,

we may not have had the means at the time, but I wasn't going to let two sisters. One girl up in the system in one, not grow up in the system. It's just not, that's not, I know I've seen what the system can do to, to kids if they're not taken care of. and that's not a fault of the system because they don't have the resources.

I mean, it's, it's a hard, and a lot of these people don't get the praise or pay or resources to help them do what they need to do. And that sucks. So then I was like, well, if I can alleviate some pressure from that then

[00:12:44] Trista, Host: I want to acknowledge you and your wife for taking two children in like, even before you were married yourselves. So you hadn't even really started your life together and now you have a family to raise and you could have easily said no, either time.

And the fact that you said yes is really commendable. If people want to help, if they want to support, do they volunteer? Do they give money? Do they offer to foster? Like what does the system need to do?

[00:13:14] Thomas Dillingham III: I think more so it's it's they need good foster parents. There are not saying that all foster parents are bad, but I have noticed that there are some who will just take kids because there's a lot of money in it. I don't, yes, there is a lot of money in the foster care system. There is a lot of money in the, in the adoption. But there are people who take advantage of it and we'll use those funds to live as opposed to actually taking care of the children that they have, or they'll take in more than what they can handle.

And then, then you get into a situation. I think that what we ran into was that this lady had. She was a good foster parent. They needed a placement, they got the placement, but she also had like two or three special needs kids in her home. And now she has a newborn and it was like, she needed to get out of that situation.

So, I mean, of course it worked out in our favor because it was her half sister. , my youngest, her, her biological father was a kid who aged out of the system.

He was in the system his entire life never really had a home. So it led down a path of somewhat destruction in his life. I could tell he was a good kid, but it just, nothing was clicking. He wanted to do well, but then he would go off and do something stupid and it was like,

yeah, and the birth mother was, she wasn't a bad person, but she was also in the system partially for her part of her life. And it was just not neither. One of them had the opportunity to grow and become better people because of whatever family trauma that happened prior to them having these kids.

So.

[00:15:18] Trista, Host: Wow. It's, it's a tough conversation. Thank you for sharing that part of your life with me. I really appreciate it. , what are your favorite things to do? Is family activities.

[00:15:30] Thomas Dillingham III: I think that their biggest thing is that my kids, my in-laws live in rural Tennessee, so they love going down to, my in-laws. They have, they live close to the Tennessee river, so they go out and river guard and upon to build jet skis, all that stuff. That's what they'd love books. And.

My youngest really is into cars. Like I am my oldest. She couldn't could care less about a car about anything. she's books and. If it doesn't have to do with reading a book or watching, watching something on TV, she no interest, but my youngest she's, if I'm in the garage, working on the car, she wants to be right next to me and a soak it up.

[00:16:16] Trista, Host: You're not just detailing. You're really into cars, right? You're in a car club. You host car events.

[00:16:22] Thomas Dillingham III: Well, I was told if I buy another vehicle this year, that I'd be in trouble. but, yeah, I have, I host a cars and coffee event, in the neighboring city where I actually spent a good portion of my life, in Springfield, Ohio. and then, I have. My core group of friends about there's about 15 or 20 of us that we all kind of get together.

And then obviously the extended car community, that I'm in. But yeah, it's, it's, I do a lot with cars, work on them, clean them. I'm actually working on my sister's Jeep right now. We just got the wheels and tires down. She's in Germany for the next E 2023. She comes back. she extended her leave or not her, her, her tour.

But, so yeah, I'm working on it, working on my own vehicles, probably getting her to tear down my infinity, which is 22 years old. and do, do a complete kind of restoration type thing on it because it was, it's a car that I can't get rid of. It means nothing to anybody else except for me. And it's probably worth make to anybody else's maybe worth a thousand dollars, but to me it has no value.

[00:17:44] Trista, Host: it's priceless. Right? Is that the buzz light year car?

[00:17:47] Thomas Dillingham III: Yes, that is the buzz light year car.

[00:17:50] Trista, Host: To infinity and beyond.

[00:17:52] Thomas Dillingham III: Absolutely. Absolutely. It took some people when they read that plate. They're like what, why buzz light year? Yeah. Well, because a lot of people don't know it's a, it's a infinity sedan from 1999.

They don't, it wasn't a very popular car. It's not, it, it was. Infinity version of a Nissan Maxima. So they're like, oh, is that a maximum? I'm like, no, it's an infinity. But, it was also the last car that I brought my step-mom home in before she passed away from cancer. So for me, it is, I, I can't get rid of the car. asked him what sentimental value.

So, yeah, it's just one of those,

just one of those things. I think any car guy has that one car that they can't get rid of. or if they get rid of, they, they try to find it immediately after they've sold it.

[00:18:47] Trista, Host: Yeah, I get that. I am. I'm working on another podcast with an intuitive. So I dunno if you believe in any of that, but I bet she could see a lot from that car based on your connection to it.

[00:19:03] Thomas Dillingham III: I'm sure. I'm sure that definitely. I believe in the energies and then, and karma, and what goes around comes around because you know, energy is, is not, doesn't go away. It just transfers. So, you know, I just kinda,

I'm trying to put out good energy. not every, and I'm not going to wake up every day in the best mood, but as long as I can try to put something good in the world, I, at some point it's going to come back to you then maybe not tomorrow, maybe not a year from now 10 years now, something, you know, or if I can help somebody provide good energy or be a good energy.

[00:19:43] Trista, Host: I love that. So there's one more question. I always like to ask all of my guests, how has self-worth played a role in your life?

[00:19:54] Thomas Dillingham III: yeah, I think everybody has to know what they mean to another person .

Everybody has worthiness whether you're providing whatever you do and you do it well, somebody finds value in what, who you are and what you did.

We, as people may not be able to see that very often, or we may not be able to know that we're providing that, that, that worthiness to whether it is your work or your kids or your spouse or your, your sisters and brothers and, you know, your parent, like everybody's worthy. For me, and then. I guess, everybody goes through a point where they don't, or they may not feel that they are worthy of something or they don't deserve something, but just know that, you are worthy of, what you have. I oftentimes find myself feeling that I don't deserve what I have because of, I guess my upbringing, I didn't, I, I didn't, I didn't have a bad upbringing, but I didn't grew up in the best neighborhood. but I saw people to not make it out from where kind of where I grew up and it was.

I kind of feel bad because I'm like, well, I have this, but they don't have it. And they should, but, and I want them to, but I can't work for them. So I don't know if that makes any sense at all.

[00:21:39] Trista, Host: Yeah, it does.

[00:21:41] Thomas Dillingham III: And then it's like, the other part of being worthy is wanting to get to the next level and always feeling like you, like, you're always you're right at the precipice. And then it's like, oh, the ball keeps rolling. The ball rolls back down to hill and it's like, ah, I gotta push this thing back up the hill.

So I feel like I'm in that middle point in my. In my life where I'm, I'm happy for what I have. I don't want to, I don't want people to think that I'm not content with what I have, because at some point I want to be able to give back more, do more , you know, and I can't do that until I'm in a better position.

And I want to be in that better position. I want to be in that position now. It's not going to happen tomorrow. It's not. Yeah. So, I want to get to the point to where I can be of service, or, or more service to other people. I just want to

[00:22:43] Trista, Host: get there. Yeah. Well, I'll tell you it, achievement is a funny thing because you're clearly achievement oriented, right?

You always got two jobs or two businesses or two income streams, at least coming in, you're growing something. You're yourself generating you're entrepreneurial. When you're that kind of achievement mindset, no matter what you achieve, there's always more to achieve. We'll hit this goal and you'll say, all right, well, that's great, but I'm not satisfied because I'm still achievement oriented.

I still am reaching for how good can I have it? How much can I contribute? What's the next level I can get to. So you'll have a lifetime of achievement and there will always be more to achieve.

[00:23:34] Thomas Dillingham III: Everybody wants to be Besos. Everybody wants to be Elon Musk. Everybody wants to. I mean, I, I don't think that I'll ever get to that point because I didn't create Amazon or, but, I, I want to be. Y income level, like that type of person to be

[00:23:55] Trista, Host: billionaires looking to be a billionaire,

[00:23:59] Thomas Dillingham III: I would love I'll be a billionaire, but,

[00:24:01] Trista, Host: yeah, you know, those people don't have a lot of free time.

Right.

I heard, I don't know if you know, clubhouse the social media app, but I heard him speak on clubhouse, Elan Musk. And somebody asked about the, day in the life of Elon Musk. Like this guy, he's the one taking us to space. He's the one that's going to get us to Mars. He's the one that's now created the electric car movement.

He's the pioneer of all this new forwarding technology. And he's probably a billionaire. And he said his whole day is just meeting after meeting, after meeting, after meeting, after meeting, he's like nobody would, if you saw my schedule, you wouldn't want my life. Because all it is is just for meeting to meeting, to meeting.

And I just, I, that struck me because, you know, the grass is always greener and yes, he can have whatever house he wants, whatever cars he wants, whatever trips he wants, he can have anything cause he has unlimited his bowl. But at what cost, you know, like you talked about balance or, and I think balance is the key.

To anything, including achievement. So, I mean, I you're welcome to, I mean, the sky's the limit, right? Like you can create anything, especially these days. The, the typical millennial will tell you that you need seven income streams to be a millionaire. And there's right. And there's plenty of plenty of ways to create income streams these days with real estate and, and so many different things.

But I applaud your achievement oriented mindset. Cause I'm the same way. I've thought a lot about it, which is why I have so much to say about it.

But that's awesome. Well, it's really been great to have you on Thomas I've so appreciated our time. And I always like to turn the tables. Yeah. I like to turn the tables at the end of the interview. See if you have a question for me, is there a question you'd like to ask me before we wrap up?

[00:26:07] Thomas Dillingham III: Yeah, I've thought about it.

I know. I was thinking like, well, you know, I'm a car guy. Like if there were. Any road in America that you would like to drive? Where is it

for a road trip you would like to take something like that?

[00:26:28] Trista, Host: Yeah, that's a great question. I have always thought it would. I live in New York in the Hudson. Okay. I, I there's two road trips. I think I would love to do, but I've always thought it would be fun to do the fall foliage trip. So you start up in Canada in the fall and you follow the foliage, the leaves change.

It's called like a leaf peeper tour or something like that, but there's a specific, it goes with the weather, like as you get further south and it kind of ends around here, or at least we're at least we're on the trail. I don't know if we're the end of it. so that would be great to do. I think that would be super fun to do, just to kind of follow the foliage down throughout of, of a road trip and the other one I've never looked into the actual.

But I always thought it would be fun to take a road trip to Vegas. Now, of course, when you look at how long it would take from New York, it's like, nevermind, I'll fly. Right. But I thought like going to be a fun road trip, like where Vegas. Only destination, it's the final destination. Right. You know, and then you have all the stops you could create along the way.

So those would be the two top road trips I think I would enjoy doing when I, if I had the penchant to do

[00:27:49] Thomas Dillingham III: so. Yeah. That was that. I think those are pretty cool. Yeah. The Vegas one, I mean, that's a Kansas after Kansas, Esther, Missouri, that's through. Wow. That's, there's a lot of nothing in between there.

[00:28:08] Trista, Host: Well, but that's never been kind of to the center of the country. I have a,

[00:28:18] Thomas Dillingham III: I mean, I live, I mean, I live in the Midwest and so any, anything past, like,

Oh, I want to say I've driven through Missouri and it is sheer misery. there's nothing there. but then once you get. Even continuing further west on , which I live right at the, essentially right at the junction of 70 and 75, which are the two major highways in the, in the country. But once you get out west, it is flat and there's, I mean, I'm sure there's some cool stuff out there, but it is mind numbing.

The, the, just. Flat cornfields everywhere. Cool to see from above on the plant, the crop circles and stuff like that. But until you get to like Colorado, it is, it is, it is it's rough and that's something I've always wanted to. And it's something I've always wanted to do as well as go from drive the country.

But I don't know if I'll take the Northern route. Or the Southern route. I did just, I don't know if I can drive straight through the middle of the country.

[00:29:24] Trista, Host: Yeah. Well, it's something to look into. It's a definitely it's I wouldn't call it a bucket list item, but it's one of those things like, oh, I should look into how long that would take.

You know how I would actually plan it out, but that was a great question. And one that no one has ever asked me in like 67 episodes.

[00:29:47] Thomas Dillingham III: Nice. Good job.

[00:29:53] Trista, Host: That's awesome. Thomas, it's been amazing spending some time with you. Thanks for sharing your plate story and your life story. I wish you all the best. Yeah, absolutely.

Have a good day.

This is Trista polo wishing you well on the road to your next adventure.

Plate 71 - KNU 10 with DP Knudten of Wisconsin

trista@iwokeupawesome.com (Trista Polo) — Mon, 20 Dec 2021 22:33:12 GMT

Plate 71 - KNU 10 - with DP Knudten

This week on Trista's PL8STORY Podcast:

PL8STORY News: UK Personalized Plates Including the vanity plate Twitter is talking about this week: Prince Harry's plate on his wedding Jaguar.

PL8STORY Guest: DP Knudten of Wisconsin - License plate KNU 10 - DP has worked on some of the biggest brands in the business including Coca-Cola®, The Athlete’s Foot®, and ClosetMaid® during tenures at DDB Needham (Chicago), McCann Erickson (Atlanta) and creative shops in Denver, Sarasota, and Madison, WI.

He is the author of NONFICTION BRAND—Discover, craft and communicate the ‘completely true / completely you’ brand you already are,” and co-author of ROTOMA—The ROI of Social Media ‘Top of Mind/’ and the creator-host of the popular podcasts, The ROTOMA Podcast and NONFICTION BRAND. He is also a keynote speaker, coach and clinician in branding, social media, creativity and culture for businesses and individuals throughout the United States. www.dpknudten.com Enjoy this episode and want to buy me a cup of coffee? https://www.buymeacoffee.com/pl8story

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Full Episode Transcript:

KNU 10

Hey there. I'm Trista polo here with this week's plate story. We're going to meet DP Knudten this week, he's a branding expert and an author. He's a podcaster and his license plate story isn't about any of that stuff. In fact, it's a retired plate that his dad had and he keeps it in memory of him. We're going to dive deep into DP's relationship with his dad and also talk about how he got into branding and marketing. And he gives lots of great advice along the way.

DP is witty, intelligent and fun. And I know you'll have a blast getting to know him and you'll get a lot of value too.

But first a little plate story news. I've been intrigued for a while by the UK personalized license plate process. Actually, since I spoke to Simon Lader, plate 46's guest. Now he's in Vegas these days, but he originates from the UK where a personalized plates are only available through auction. And they can be pretty pricey at that. You're not able to actually get your choice of letter number combos, but by the luck of the draw, some combinations are unique and highly sought after. For example, the UK license plate 1A went for 160,000 pounds back in December, 1989.

And K1 NGS or Kings, went for 185,000 pounds, in December of 1993. The largest price ever paid for a UK plate at this auction process was 518,000 pounds in 2014 for the plate, 25 o so I was surprised to hear just this last week that there was buzz on Twitter, about the plate on prince Harry and Meghan's Jaguar at the Royal wedding in 2018. One Twitter user tweeted that she realized the plate on their wedding car was E 1 9 0 5 1 8, which was actually personalized and significant. In fact it was their wedding date. The Twitter user, Vanessa Nguyen, purported that it meant established 19th of May, 2018. However, according to the British car registrations website, they wrote an article back in 2018, the E actually denotes the type of Jaguar model they drove.

And it turns out this plate was only used for the wedding and would not be legal on a public highway. However, it was perfectly fine to mark the special day, as it was kept on the private roads of the estate of queen Elizabeth. That's our plate story news. Let's go meet DP.

[00:02:36] Trista, Host: I'm super excited to introduce you to this week's plate story DP Knudten. His license plate is KNU 10 and he's from Wisconsin. Welcome DP.

[00:02:49] DP Knudten: Thanks for having me on your pod.

[00:02:51] Trista, Host: I'm so excited to have you. You're a podcaster as well.

[00:02:54] DP Knudten: I am.

[00:02:55] Trista, Host: Let's start with your license plate, which if you're watching the video version, you can see in the background, it's hanging on your wall.

[00:03:06] DP Knudten: My left shoulder. Yes,

[00:03:08] Trista, Host: indeed. So tell us about your license plate.

[00:03:12] DP Knudten: Well, for those fans of that seventies show, which at the end of it, the producers kind of vanity plate would show up at the end and it was the Wisconsin America's dairy land, kind of in a, at that time, it was kind of an orangy yellow.

Well, if you have that in mind, that's pretty much what my vanity plate looks like, because this is, and I kid you not because it's actually embossed into the plate itself. A 1980s circa vanity plate from the state of Wisconsin that my dad got. And there are only a 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 characters on it with a big gap in between them.

And it reads K N U one zero Y. Because my last, name's a pain in the butt and I have to spell it every single day as did he every day of his life. So he thought we'll, I'll be smart and I'll get a vanity plate that helps people by literally showing them my name is pronounced this way. K N U canoe 1 0 10, canoe 10.

Now, if you want to go all Danish or Northern German about it, I could say it's more of a canoe-tn with a dip thong, but I'm happy if you just get canoe 10.

[00:04:28] Trista, Host: I mean, and I will tell you, I'm just going to be really authentic to everyone listening. I still didn't get it right. Even with the license plate in

[00:04:37] DP Knudten: there, you know, people pick vanity plates for a lot of different reasons, and I'm sure you've covered all of them during your episodes.

But in my case, it was really, I think my dad wanting to put his mark on the world and also maybe help out with the pronunciation part. But I, I look at it now is kind of indicative of who he was, his character and stuff like that, you know, because we're here in Wisconsin. So, you know, we got the Green Bay Packers as our local football team, you know, go pack or something like that.

There are thousands of vehicles in the state of Wisconsin with some variant of Go Packers or because I'm located right near Madison, Wisconsin, the place where the university of Wisconsin Badgers play. Bucky Badger and all that stuff. That's all over license plate. Did my dad choose to go that route?

Did he choose to go back to an old back when he was in college, maybe a mascot put that on his license plate? No, he did. None of those things. He put his name on it because he wanted people to know who he was and how to pronounce his name. And now we've talked about this a little bit before the recording started that we're both in marketing and branding backgrounds and stuff like that.

Well, I'm a big brander now. And my podcast, the Non-Fiction Brand podcast is all about personal branding and all that I realized now I, and like I only realized this like two days ago, my dad was actively personally branding himself in 1980s, Milwaukee. Wisconsin. I mean, how crazy is that?

[00:06:18] Trista, Host: Like before it was a thing before there was a book about it or podcasts about it, or our marketing majors that you could get in college.

Now this is a an original, like when they first started coming out with vanity plates, right? Like this was when the first vanity plates came out.

[00:06:37] DP Knudten: Yeah. My understanding is, and my memory, cause I'm old enough to remember this is that, and this may not be historically accurate, so don't go to the Smithsonian with it.

But my memory was, I think it may have started in California where all trends start. Right. And they started coming out with these things called vanity plates and I'm in Wisconsin. So it probably took a couple of years to get here before the state realized they could make some serious coin by letting people do their stuff.

So it didn't really hit here until maybe the late seventies, mid to late 1970s. I think. And my dad was on it immediately. And the reason the plate I have is in such pristine condition is because in the state of Wisconsin, we are required to have front and rear license plates on our cars. So you would think they both be in pretty crappy shape.

Right? Well, the state of Wisconsin, I don't think was up to speed on, on how to actually manufacture these license plate effectively. So they sent us two full sets way. And I remember when they came in the mail because they were so unique, it was like the first kid in town with a brand new music album or something like that, that no one else has ever heard before or

[00:07:55] Trista, Host: the first kids to get MTV.

Yes, exactly,

[00:07:59] DP Knudten: exactly. Or that the first kids to get the first X-Box or something like that, it was a big, big deal. And that's, it's obviously stuck with me because that was. How many, how many, how many going on almost 45 years, something like that.

[00:08:17] Trista, Host: And then one on your wall is the extra

[00:08:20] DP Knudten: one. It's part, it's one of the two extras that were sent by the state.

I don't know where the, the other one went, but I kept that and it's followed me to colleges to multiple moves across the country, living in cities all over the United States. And I've always had it with me, not always prominently displayed, but it was one of those things where as you're going through and tossing out stuff that you don't need or want, that's the one thing I kept.

And I don't really know why. I mean, if I'm going to put on my psychology hat, it might be that it represents my father in multiple layers. You know, we talked about this before we started recording that there are a lot of layers to why I have this license. And not the least of well, and not the least of which is my relationship with my father, because like a lot of men who, you know, they may not have the closest relationship with their fathers.

And my father passed away in 2007. So it's been quite a long time, but believe me that, that imprint of my dad on my life and on my personality and everything else. It's, it's, it's, it's pressed in there just like a license plate, you know, I can change the paint color on it, but boy, that embossing you can't get rid of the embossing.

[00:09:46] Trista, Host: I think it's so interesting when we look at who we are based on our parents, we can't really blame them for our idiosyncrasies and missteps because we're adults and we have to take responsibility, but they definitely had an impact on who we are. Is there anything about yourself that you would say is because your dad modeled it or in spite of like to go against what your dad did?

[00:10:13] DP Knudten: Okay. Trista, how much am I going to have to write a check for after this, for this you're about to give me I will. Okay. Birth order. I believe birth order does affect things and I was a second born second of four. Second boy. So my older brother, two years older than me rule follower. Absolutely. The authoritarian, all that stuff.

Well, I am the opposite of that and because my dad was pretty authoritarian and intellectually challenging. He and I started butting heads pretty early. Not in any type of I don't know. I, I guess it, I didn't turn out to be a screw up. You know, the second born screw up is kind of a, a trope or a cliche.

I wasn't that, but I wasn't him and I was always okay. Rules are fine. Tell me why I should follow. And he was always, there's a rule and I'm like, tell me why there's a rule

[00:11:15] Trista, Host: because I said, so was growing up.

[00:11:18] DP Knudten: Yes. Well, it came to that because after a while it just got, because I said so, and that was never good enough for me, but, and here's the thing, you know keeping in the whole kind of transportation universe with license plates and stuff like that.

I understand why there are rules, like the reds, the light is red. Don't cross the intersection. Why? Because you won't kill someone or get killed. There's a great why there, but there are a lot of rules or standards or mores and Folkways in our society where I'm just gonna throw out a tell me why, if it's a great reason, I recognize that.

Cool, good reason for that. But I always have to know the why, and that's affected everything in my career. And so. Just like a license plate, you know, you've got the M bossing, which kind of raises the letter, but you got the D bossing, which presses it down. I have both embossed and debossed things about myself that I'm sure I can point to my father's influence on.

I am not I'm not crippled by that. But I, I would be lying if I said I didn't think about it frequently, even years after his passing.

[00:12:37] Trista, Host: Yeah, sure. I mean, of course. And you have had such a successful career in advertising as a copywriter and you are now teaching other people how to not just have branding, but branding of themselves.

And you're doing a lot of that. You have a book that just came out, so, you know, you're doing a lot of great stuff. Tell me a little about your career in advertising in copywriting. How did you get into that?

[00:13:06] DP Knudten: Oh, well, okay. So we went on dig. Okay, we're going, we're going follow me children as we go back several decades when I wanted to be a forest ranger.

Yeah. I wanted to be a forest ranger. I want to have one of those, those hats, and I want it to be the guy you go to Yosemite and he tells you about glaciers formed the valley and all that. So I went to a school here in Wisconsin, which has one of the world's best forestry programs here the university of Wisconsin and Stevens point.

And I got there and I started taking classes with people who were boring, boring, boring, and I always had this let's call it a theatrical bent, you know, so I switched from forestry to drama and theater as my major. So I graduated with that and proceeded to at the time of graduation, say, I'm not ready.

I'm just a kid from Wisconsin. I got to go to grad school. So I auditioned and I got into surprise, surprise the university of Southern California out in Los Angeles. And I got out there. And if you've seen the movie La La Land. That's what it's like to be a person who wants to be an actor in Los Angeles.

Everything is a trial, everything is an audition, everybody you're talking to is auditioning against you, or you walk into a room and there are 50 people who look exactly like you. And I just, I know this will be people who know me might take issue with this, but I do not have a titanium ego. And that is what's required to be successful out there.

So cut fast-forward blah-blah-blah I'm in a no, no nowhere to go temp job. And I saw an ad in the Chicago reader, which is an alternative weekly newspaper in Chicago and an ad agency. J Walter Thompson took out an ad on the back page that said, write, if you won't work and then it gave eight writing assignments and a little body copy said that there are a lot of creative people in non-creative jobs.

Have you ever thought about becoming an advertising copywriter?

[00:15:19] Trista, Host: Well, that's cool.

[00:15:20] DP Knudten: Well, I kind of did, because if you're old enough, like me, you'll remember a sh a little show called Bewitched where Darren Stevens was an ad guy, and this is way pre Don Draper in Mad Men, but it was that same era.

And so between that and the Dick van Dyke show where he was a comedy writer, I'm like, oh, comedy writing and writing, I guess there's a job that requires that. And then I saw this ad. And so I was out in Denver and I took a blind chance. I did the writing assignments did not send them to J Walter Thompson, but I sent them to eight agencies in Denver.

And guess what? The one of my eight packets got to a guy who, who happened to be the creative director at the largest agency there at the time. And he called me up and he said, I don't have a job. But I think you're talented. Oh, cool. Why don't you come talk to me? I did. He became a mentor fast forward, got my foot in the door as a junior copywriter at an ad agency, and then rode that wave to today.

You know I'm in advertising, marketing now going, getting close to 30 years and now I'm taking everything I've learned. As you've mentioned, I have a new book out it's called "NonFiction Brand Discover, craft, and communicate the 'completely true / completely you' brand you already are." And it's all about using branding to package yourself and look just like a, a cereal almost so that people know immediately who you are, what you do and how. And isn't that what my dad tried to do with my license plate. We'll see what you did

there. Good call back. Good. I know

exactly. Hey, I got to get back to the title of your podcast for crying out loud.

Otherwise people are going to go, what's this guy talking about, I'm talking about license plates, people

[00:17:12] Trista, Host: all over the place on this podcast. There are no rules,

[00:17:17] DP Knudten: but anyway, that's the long story. Not so short.

[00:17:19] Trista, Host: I love it. Why didn't you submit to the company that actually was looking for copywriters on the back of that?

Well,

[00:17:27] DP Knudten: they were in Chicago and I didn't feel like moving back to Chicago. You know, I, I, I moved out to Denver and wanted to ski, wanted to snowboard, wanting to climb, rock climb and all that. And you know, the best thing about Chicago that Chicago ans will admit to is Wisconsin. And, you know, so I'm from Wisconsin.

I like the outdoors. I want to do align myself with the true self of who I really am. Huh? This goes back to personal branding people. I know who I am. I am a nature boy going all the way back to wanting to be a forest ranger. I need to be close to corn fields and the outdoors and stuff like that. The closest in Chicago, you can get to that as go down to lay the lakefront.

You know, some of the parks, they're not the same thing. So I aligned myself with who I am, what I do and how I do it. And now I'm a advertising guy living in Sun Prairie, Wisconsin on the outskirts of the capital city of the, of the state of Wisconsin. Madison Wisconsin.

[00:18:37] Trista, Host: Awesome. Now you've been in advertising a lot for many years.

Are there any brands you've worked on that we would be familiar with?

[00:18:44] DP Knudten: The big name I always drop because it's literally where I learned how to become an advertiser. And brander is a little brown, bubbly sugar water based in Atlanta, Georgia, because I worked in Atlanta, Georgia at McCann Erickson on this company called Coca-Cola and you've heard of it.

Yeah, I think so. And you would probably never have seen anything I did for them because I was a low-level ish, you know, medium level copywriter and stuff, but I learned what branding was. Cause, keep in mind, my, my training was in theater. And I just convinced myself, cause I watched enough Bewitched episodes that I could do copywriting and I got people to actually hire me.

So when I got to McCann Erickson, I kind of went to grad school on what marketing and branding was. And, you know, I learned a ton because let's face it. If you ask people to name the top 50 brands globally, Coke Coca-Cola is definitely in that top 50 lifts. Is it in the top 10? Maybe historically it is it maybe isn't so much now, but yeah, it's it.

I would, I would put it in top 10 just because it's been a global brand since 1886 and it's product is say it with me. Sweet brown bubbly water. That is as commodity as it gets. And yet you're a brand oriented person, which you may not be for soft drinks, but I don't drink soft drinks unless I have a hankering for the way I felt as a kid, when that I got that sip of a nice cold Coke with the sweetness and the S the tart kind of acidic bite to it.

I'm a Coke guy. And I always will be a Coke guy. That is my brand. And I have all these layers of psychology that have, are part of me that make me not be a Pepsi guy, not the least of which is that my dad was a Pepsi guy.

[00:20:55] Trista, Host: See, we're just coming back to it, come back to it. Wow. So Coca-Cola, but

[00:21:02] DP Knudten: that's the power of a brand, right?

Yeah, because otherwise I would pay the lowest possible price for the product for a commodity. I don't want to commodity, I don't want Sam's Cola. I don't want, you know, some other branded Cola, I want pure red and white in a bottle. Coca-Cola you know, that green glass bottle. I still think about that because it's not about the fluid that's in the bottle.

It's about the entire experience and everything Coke represents. That is not unlike what personal branding's about, which is once people know you, have you ever had this happen to you where someone who loves you and really knows, you says, oh, if they only knew the real you, they would value you. Well, the whole point of branding is so that people always know the real you, you know, so that they can choose you the way that I choose Coca-Cola, which, you know, again, this is going into my background, a little.

COVID hits. Right. I was a freelancer. I was working for a wide variety of people. Things slowed down markedly. Really, really bad. Toward the end of last year, I get a call, an email, actually from someone I worked with through an agency six years ago, they know who I am, what I do and how I do it.

And they reached out to me because they understood those things very clearly and said, Hey, why don't you join our team? So I got an incoming and I did not ask for it an incoming invite to join a company because they understood what I would call my personal brand to the point where they saw tremendous value.

[00:22:50] Trista, Host: Now, this is something I want to hone in on because in your book, you talk about, if you don't own it, it's not yours. And you talk about, you know, look, if you work for another company and you do a really great job for them, but you don't set yourself apart, then you'll never stand out. Now you're talking about the fact that you, as a copywriter have a brand that stands out beyond what your resume says, your jobs have been, what accounts you've worked on, what names you can drop that people have heard of.

How do you set yourself apart at a job when you're expected to be part of a team and work for the company's mission and all of that?

[00:23:34] DP Knudten: Well, just ask yourself this what, wherever you are working with a team, someone on that team. If I forced you and said, who's the most creative person on that team, you'd have a name for me.

If I said who's the most analytic. On that team you'd have a name for me. If I asked you, which is the one person you would could count on to come into work at 5:00 PM on a Sunday, because something blew up, you'd have a name for me. Each one of those people have the seed crystal for a personal brand, which is not about the fact that I know Microsoft Excel, and I can do this software development based on this language or whatever else it's you don't hire people for that.

You hire cogs to do that stuff you hire problem-solvers based on what your problem in pain points are. So what are your pain relief qualities to somebody else in the case of the job offer that came in to me it's because yeah, we didn't like the creative we were getting from this other company, but we always love the work you did for us creative work.

They didn't say words. They didn't say typing. They didn't say Microsoft word. They just said, you're really creative. And we want you to bring whatever you have in that regard to us. So one of the things I like to point out is that people in the creative side tend to be valued pretty highly, but most companies value something even a higher or some other type of work or purse and even more.

And that is the organizer, the person who can project manage soup to nuts, everything juggling, many, many balls, all that stuff. If you're an organizer and think, well, I can't, I can't personally brand myself as an organizer. I would say to you, you are wrong. That's exactly what people should know about you.

Because people like me, creative guys who are flitting around like a fruit fly in a fruit. You know, I can't organize stuff. I need someone like that. And by the way, I'll pay someone to do that stuff because I'm not good at it. And you say, oh, but I love to do that stuff. Great. You get to be paid for something you love.

That's how you have a job and a career that you are, truly satisfied with.

[00:26:08] Trista, Host: I love that. So it sounds like if you can, just, this is for people who have jobs, if you can just find what it is about you, that sets you apart from the people on your team and shine a light on that, whenever you can, that people will come to know you for that and count on

you

[00:26:26] DP Knudten: for that.

Right. And you need to demonstrate it. You need to demonstrate over and over what that, that core first principle thing you do is. For example, you know I'll just use me as an example. That creative thing. I have to demonstrate that. So everything I do, my podcast, I can be creative. The book I wrote, I can be creative.

The fact that I designed the cover and the logos and everything else, I can, I demonstrate who I am, what I do and how I do it. Yeah. And by the way, who's that guy's photo on the front cover. I'm not hiding my light under a bushel because here, okay. I'm from the Midwest. Right? We have that kind of, oh, yo, you're not all that, Mister.

You're not better than anybody else. You put your pants on one layer at a time, just like everybody else, you know? So we aren't braggy. Right? Well, that creates people who don't take credit for what they deserve credit for, you know, and that I don't want to pull out any type of too broad a brush, but a lot of women have that problem.

They'll do all the work and take none of the credit and that my friends is BS. You need to own what is yours to own? So when I say, if you don't own it, it's not yours. I'm referring to the fact that I was let go from a couple of different ad agencies. Not because I was bad, not because I was a jerk, not because I wrecked the company car, but because we lost a client and we look at the spreadsheet and you're in your X years, I'm in the midst of my X years, which is I'm experienced.

I'm demonstrably. Excellent. I'm expensive. And therefore expendable, if you've got the highest cost on the spreadsheet of, you know, employment what people are being paid, it's easy to get rid of one of you if I can keep three of them. So see you later. Well, that's what happens when you're a premium brand, you get a premium price, but if I'm not the principal of the agency, in my case, or the business.

It's not mine and I should never be deluded by it. However, what is 100% mine is who I am, what I do and how I do it. My voice is uniquely my own. My experience is uniquely my own when people say, well, I just, I, what should I say is like, share what you know, you know, it's always been said about writers, write what you know, well, brands demonstrate what you know and can prove.

So in my case, I've got to do all this creative stuff. A brand I like to point to as Susie Orman, you know, her, she's the great female financials guru. She works. Yeah. Works a lot with women, especially women who are, you know, maybe under informed about finances and stuff like that. She is taking, what's known as a best practice in the financial services. And applying it to a specific niche in the case of her empowerment of women and finances. And one of the things she loves to say is, do not look for a man to take care of you. You can not count on that. You need to do it yourself.

You need to own your power. Do you see what I'm saying? The same stuff she's saying, which is you have to own, what is yours and the way to do it is pay yourself first. Just a simple concept like that. Pay yourself first.

She has not got the Nobel prize for economics. She is not the richest woman on the face of the earth, but boy, is she fantastic at motivating people to do what they can do to own what is theirs to own? And. She is, she's created this incredible personal brand that is now a global business because she recognized the thing I do better than other people is communicate.

So again, if you're looking at what does Susie Orman do? Yes, she does financial stuff. She did, blah, blah. No, she communicates and inspires. Those are her super powers. So what is your superpower? And I'm pointing at Trista right now. What is your superpower? Trista.

[00:30:51] Trista, Host: I'm an amazing listener.

[00:30:55] DP Knudten: How do you brand great podcast?

[00:30:57] Trista, Host: I mean, I am, I'm an, I'm a great listener. I can hear what you're saying, what you're not saying, what you're avoiding saying and what you'd really like to say, but maybe you're not quite ready yet. I'm a great listener and hear all the layers.

[00:31:14] DP Knudten: And there are a lot of layers there, but. One of the things I learned to love is to embrace the abrasiveness, the, the parts of my personality that may rub people, literally the wrong way.

I can't get rid of those things. There are people who hate me with a passion, the heat of the sun, you know, the surface of the sun. And that's okay. Cause I don't really like them either. And by the way, they aren't going to buy my products or services or engage with me in any meaningful way. I'm going to look for the people who like what I do, who get the brand, because again, Coca Cola, doesn't sell Coca-Cola to every single person who likes soft drinks, but boy they're rabid fans love them so much. They do their entire basement media center room in Coca-Cola livery with collectibles and all that stuff. Why cause Coke is my brand. I'm looking for the DP and as their brand.

[00:32:16] Trista, Host: You're absolutely right. And I do have trouble with knowing that there are people out there that don't like me, it comes from my own childhood stuff that I carry around, but you're right.

Look at Coca-Cola. Since we're using that as an example, Pepsi, their arch nemesis did an entire campaign to taste, test and prove they were better.

[00:32:38] DP Knudten: I can tell you a story about that because you're talking about the Pepsi challenge.

Which occurred in the late eighties, the brand new mall of America up near Minneapolis was a huge thing. It was on everybody's radar. So Pepsi decides to do a taste test challenge where you've got two blind Cola's, which you prefer. Well, they told the truth, they did the test and they found out the majority of Cola drinkers preferred, the taste of Pepsi.

Guess what Coca-Cola did the same research and found the exact same thing. And what they realized was that what they thought. And I will say they thought at the time was that American's tastes had changed. What was the acidic bite of Coca-Cola was giving way to the sweet taste of Pepsi, because if you compare them side by side, Pepsi is sweeter.

You can do it right now. Go get a can or a bottle of. Try them side by side and you'll go, oh yeah. The flavor profile of Coke is a little bit more acidic. A little bit more bite, plenty sweet, but still bitey. Coca-Cola freaked out. So what did they do? They changed their formula, the biggest

[00:33:53] Trista, Host: mistake of their brain,

[00:33:57] DP Knudten: what they learned from it.

Then they literally came out with a sweeter version of Coke. And what did the combined American marketplace and global market? Oh my God. Their heads exploded. Why? Because people aren't buying Coca-Cola for the liquid. They're buying it because it's the real thing. It never changes. I like to call Coca-Cola grandma.

Everybody loves grandma. Grandma's a little acidic and a little bitey, but we love grandma and we defend grandma and you don't mess with grandma. And what, what Coca-Cola did was mess with grandma. And what did the marketplace force Coca-Cola to do? Go back to classic Coke for those of us old enough classic Coca-Cola was the same old recipe because people loved it.

And guess what? After that debacle Coke came back stronger than ever because the brand fans rallied around the brand. They recognize the fact that Coca-Cola was doing the right thing by going back to what it always was. Keep in mind that their tagline at the time was the real thing. And by the way, every single ad that I had to write for Coca Cola, when I was at McCann Erickson in Atlanta had to communicate three core ideas: authenticity, refreshment, and sociability.

What does that mean? Authenticity? We are the first we're the only we're the real thing you show it via the bottle shape. You show it via the red and the white and the Spencerian script logo that has not changed, plus minus 10%, since 1886. Sociability, you drink it at family gatherings at football games at picnics at Christmas.

Oh, by the way, this will probably be airing a little bit closer to Christmas. Huh? Are people going to be waiting to see what the Christmas commercials are for Coca-Cola you know, is it going to be polar bears and seals? People look forward to the fricking Christmas commercials because they love the brand so much.

And then the final one was refreshment. Refreshment is the AHHHHH of Coca-Cola guess what? The refreshment starts the second you grab the can and it's cold in your hand. And I think about it when I would go visit my grandmother in Salina, Kansas in the 1960s and seventies, you know, going to Kansas in August is like going to the outskirts of hell on the hottest day of the year.

And we would play outside like crazy. And then I'd come running in the screen door would slam because she was an old Swede and she didn't have air conditioning. So the screen door was open. You know, it screen door slams against the frame. You go run it into the refrigerator, which was so old it didn't have an interior light.

You, you Fisher hand around in there until you find the bottle shape of the green glass Coca-Cola bottle. And then you do the most important thing with Coca Cola on a hot day in Salina, Kansas, pull it out and put it against your neck. You're so hot that you just want to get that cool going through your bloodstream via the carotid arteries of your neck.

And let me tell you that's when I understood that refreshment was not about the ahh in the mouth, it's about the ahh of the entire brand user experience. They understood user experience before UX ever was a trendy thing for websites to do. I give them nothing but credit for that. And that's where I learned what the power of branding was.

[00:37:45] Trista, Host: That's amazing. Now we want to talk about personal brand because that's important. And you mentioned the three things, which I think you call Key 3 in your book.

Yeah, I call it the key three, everybody. And this goes all the way back to those three words, authenticity, refreshment, and social. Notice it doesn't say liquid or soft drink or can, or anything like that.

These are three core principles. So when I work with people on their personal brand or encourage people to work on their personal brand, remember the human brain is designed to remember things in series 1, 2, 3, but not 4, 5, 6, 7, 8. Put it in threes. I can't remember more than that. So I'm going to remember three things that are absolutely the three legs on the stool. That is my personal brand, right? In my case, really simple: creative, collaborative, provocative. Those are my key three words. Which means everything I do and present and demonstrate should be creative. Oh, that's, that's really not standard. You know, that's a new way of looking at it. Collaborative working with other people, communicating with other people, even as an author, you are collaborating with your readers because you're constantly thinking as you write, are they going to understand this? There's this conversation, even before anybody opens the book, the conversation is in the head of the writer, which is, are they going to get this? Does this make sense? Is it memorable? All of those things I'm collaborating with you and you don't even know it. And then the last word, which was the hardest one for me to describe about myself and embrace was provocative. I understood my value was not by taking someone's order and giving them what they wanted, as good as I could possibly make it.

I like to call my technique, tweak on the cheek poke in the eye. Which is tweak on the cheek. Oh, that's a really good idea though. I love the input. That's really great inspiration. Poking the eye. Have you thought about this? Because my value as a creative collaborator is not by doing what you say. It's by listening deeply, like you talked about Trista, a listening deeply and understanding.

I know you say you want this, but here is what you need. If I'm not bringing what you need, I'm of no value to you, or I'm a short order cook who just delivers what you ordered.

Yeah. It's the difference between like a graphic designer and a programmer. the graphic designers, creating what you don't even realize you need, whereas the programmer is, you know, kind of just putting it all together in the right way.

Yeah. So the Key 3, though, it's overwhelming and daunting for someone who's never really thought about their own personal brand. It's sort of like asking a company to come up with a mission statement. Right. So do you have any key tips to coming up with that Key 3 for a person who wants to take that on?

Yeah.

[00:41:02] DP Knudten: Well actually I would love to invite your listeners to go to my website, DP kanuten.com/gift, and you can download some PDF one sheets that will get you started. There, it's not going to be the end of the journey, but it certainly is going to kick it off for you. And again, my website is DP as in David, Paul Kanuten K N U D as in David, T as in Tom, E as in Edward, N as in nothing.com/gift.

[00:41:38] Trista, Host: And I'll make sure that's in the show notes as well, so people can get to it. That's great to give people some tools and, but you coach people on this as well. Right? It's you don't just do this for a living. You help people come up with their brand. Is that right?

[00:41:53] DP Knudten: Yeah, I do. And I've worked with a lot of companies and stuff like that.

The, as I mentioned to you earlier, I did take a full-time position working for one of my former clients through another agency. They, they fired the agency, but kept the creative guy. I love that personally, just saying and I get to work for a great company. It's called Southeastern guide dogs down in Palmetto, Florida, and yeah, well, exactly.

I love dogs and they raise and train and create service dogs and guide dogs for the visually impaired, veterans with PTSD and also children and youth who could really use that type of fantastic superhero dogs. I mean, these dogs are like, they are the ninjas of dogs

[00:42:38] Trista, Host: and sure. We have guiding eyes for the blind around here.

And I have friends who have been the first training family and those dogs are

[00:42:48] DP Knudten: amazing. And boy there, they do such fantastic work and I can't be happier working with them, but I do consult with people, individuals, and companies, to help them on their brand journey if you will there I believe, and again, it goes back to my podcast name and the book's name non-fiction brand.

I don't deal with fiction brands. I'm not going to make up something about you, but what I'm going to do is what Trista does deeply listen, ask smart questions, look at all the layers of your onion. Identify the stuff and get past the stuff. Well, you know, this is what I do and go, no, that's not what you do. What you do, and what I always would like to tell the people I worked with was when we would go present new ad creative, we are the circus coming to town. We are the one day of the week where they don't have to look at spreadsheets and they don't have to be beaten up about numbers. They can see fun, creative ideas.

They can add their ideas on top of it and, and, and participate. It's it's like a day in the sandbox. If we don't realize our product is one part pain relief, one part delight, and one part inspire them to become more excited about what they're doing. We're not doing our job. And did you see what I just did there?

Three things delight, inspire, encourage or whatever the three were. I don't know, but, but what are your thoughts? So Trista let's work on you for a sec.

[00:44:24] Trista, Host: Oh great.

[00:44:25] DP Knudten: You said, you said deep listening, which is great. That's what you do. I listen deeply. Who are you as an individual? I'm not going to, that's the hardest question.

What do you do? Listen deeply. How do you do it? So how do you listen deeply?

[00:44:46] Trista, Host: Just to answer your question. Yeah. I am fully present with the person I'm spending more of my brain power on what you are saying then what my reaction is, to what you're saying. And I'm clearly open to any possibility of what you're up to and what you're about so that I can get all of it.

[00:45:06] DP Knudten: Okay. So you, the listening is, is a tool to get what you're really your core thing is: I absorb all those things you don't even ever think about. And then I can come back to you with solutions for the pain, various pains that you're feeling, whether it's our, our new product isn't selling or whatever it is.

But by making people get past that, well, I'm a writer. No, you're not what you type. That's a type w no. What, what, what are you really in, in my case, I'm a creative writer, storyteller, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So if I'm looking for a word for you and I, again, this is just off the top of my head.

You aren't a coach, you're a confidant, you're a consigliere Arie. You are you're Tommy. What's his name in the godfather. You know, the one Robert Duvall played, which was, I'm not of your family, but I'm family. And that's why I love the word consiglieri. And if you're not a

writer, you'll come up with the good words, but

that's what he was in in what's the movie, God godfather, godfather, Tom Hayden.

That was his name. Tommy Hayden, Robert Duvall's character in the godfather. He was a lawyer. He was a family adjacent, but he was more trusted than family members because he was a consiglieri the counselor. But I love the word consiglieri because it, it has layers of emotional meaning and depth to it.

Because if I say I'm a counselor, well, I'm just another cog. Replace it. No, no, I'm, I'm the person you go to the literally go to the mattresses with when crap hits the fan. I'm right there beside you. And by the way, I'm not afraid of. I will never rat you out. I'm always on your side. So the value, the best value you could give someone is to be their consiglieri not their counselor, not their coach, by the way, I'm a coach.

I do coach and chakra alignment. No, you're a consiglieri

but a consigliere, Ari knows where the bodies are buried. That's how deep the relationship is. So I like to look for that type of depth when it comes to your key three. So all of a sudden you can say, am I being a consigliere airy, or am I just being a coach?

[00:47:50] Trista, Host: I love that. In fact, I'll tell you a quick story.

My husband and I worked together for some time in a website, design and development, digital marketing business. And he now runs it. But I had befriended one of the clients and she told me a secret that she was going to be selling her business in the next like nine months or whatever it was. And she said, please don't tell anybody, this is not public knowledge, I'm just telling you.

My husband goes in to see her, you know, seven, eight months later. And she says, well, you know, since I'm selling my business and he's like, I didn't know you were selling your business. Oh, didn't Trista to tell you. So he came home and said, I didn't know this. Why didn't you tell me? I'm like, cause she said, do not tell a soul.

This is just between you and I and you are another person. So I didn't tell

[00:48:43] DP Knudten: anybody. And that's what I mean when you demonstrate who you are, you are demonstrating that you're a consigliere, not a counselor, not a coach, not a vendor. No. You can trust me with the nuclear launch codes for your business because I will never divulge that.

But I need to know them in order to serve you best if you don't. Yeah. If you don't want that guy in that kind of depth, don't come to me. If you want someone, who'll give you a glad, handy back rub to make you feel better, go to somebody else. But if you want to do the work and get the results, you come to me, cause guess what?

People pay bigger dollar for that type of trusted lifelong in my bunker, in the trenches with me consiglieri than they do someone who has a teachable course that you can take for $199, which is why I should say I don't have a teachable course. I can't do it. I gotta be true to myself. And so if anybody wanted to engage with me on working on their personal brand, there's only one way.

And that is contact me dp@dpkanuten.com. And then we'll talk. And if you say, how much does it cost? I'll go. I don't know, what do you need? Let's figure it out. But the one thing I do know is the value of listening deeply. Again, it's, it's one of the key things I do allows you to say, I know you want a logo.

I know you want something fancy, like a pretty look in a keynote or a PowerPoint template so that when you do a presentation, you look slick and crap. People don't necessarily want that. I mean, they appreciate the packaging, but they want to know truly who you are, what you do and how you do it and how you can help them.

You got to do some work for that, and it's not always fun, but all of a sudden, when you find your truth, the real truth, what I would call the non-fiction brand that is. You will know that, you know what, it's okay. If not everybody likes me because I like me, cause I know who I am and I am being at. So one of my bumper sticker sayings is know who you are, so you can be it.

You have to do the knowing part before you consistently be who you truly are. That's beautiful.

[00:51:13] Trista, Host: It's beautiful. And you're sharing so many good nuggets which can be found in your book and on your website. And I think that you've just dropped a lot of truth bombs today. That's what I do. I want to point out your book is written exactly like your personality is showing up here on this interview.

So it's like talking to you to read the book, which is great.

[00:51:35] DP Knudten: That is the biggest compliment you could have given me because I've read so many books that feel like they were created in a Petri dish by some algorithm. When people say, oh my God, well, and this happened to me. I was at a place a couple of years ago, 50 people in the room.

I'm talking to someone, I know all of a sudden, a woman, 15 feet in front of me, whips around, looks at me with a smile on her face. And I'm like, I do we know each other. And she goes, oh, I listened to your podcast. You sound exactly like your podcast. I took that as a huge compliment, which is I'm not doing some fakey fakey thing.

I'm just being who I am, what I do and how I do it. I write, I think my writing style, the writing style I used in that book is my nascent, my, my core writing style, which is it's very vocal. It's very storytelling. It's very metaphor and analogy because my wife will call me analogy, man, probably three times tonight alone.

Because I always speak in analogies because that's the way my brain works. I once got someone not liking me because they thought I was talking down to them and I just said to them, no, I don't do analogies for you. I do them for me because I don't know anything about what you do, but I'm trying to equate it to something I do understand.

And that's why I use them to play them back to you. So you can say, well, you're close, but not quite. And then it's calibration, but at least I have an understanding, you know, but anyway, I hope people will check out the non-fiction brand book on Amazon, just look up non-fiction brand and type in my name. K N U D T E N.

And you'll find it on the old Amazon. And also I'd love for people to check out my non-fiction brand podcast, which comes out every single Monday. I'm guessing that Trista is going to be a guest on, in the next couple of months, for sure, because. I love this type of conversation. And she's been doing such a fantastic job, deeply listening.

It's time for me to invite her on and do the deep listening. That's exciting. Yeah. Well, exactly.

[00:53:59] Trista, Host: And I've been the one asking all the questions, but I want to turn the tables and see if you have a question you'd like to ask me before we wrap up today.

[00:54:08] DP Knudten: Well, yeah, I mean, why did you start a podcast?

[00:54:14] Trista, Host: I love.

Podcasts now full disclosure. I don't listen to them voraciously like people who love podcasts, but I love making podcasts. This is actually the fourth or fifth podcast I've worked on. I love the idea that anyone can create something where they share information that they feel is important and that contributes something to the world.

And because having a cohost always ended up where we just couldn't make it work anymore. And so the podcast couldn't continue. I said, if I ever do one again. It'll be just me. And then the idea of having guests, it means that we only have to have the same schedule once or twice, not for the next several years.

So I just love the format. I love the platform and I, I love a microphone and if I never made it as a singer, an actor, so a podcaster will do just fine.

[00:55:14] DP Knudten: Well, you know, one of the things I write about in the book nonfiction brand is that it's incumbent upon people to find their style stage. And you have found your style stage because a lot of people, especially people older like me, I stroke my gray beard in front of the camera here will say, I hate social media and I don't know where to start.

And I just, I just have no time for it. I was like, that's fine. Leave it for other people. That's opportunity on someone else's table that you're not taking advantage. We live in the best time for someone who wants to do this type of thing, because I can do, like, what does it cost me other than time to do my podcast?

Pod bean, where I host my podcast, I think is maybe five to $7 a month. I can't remember. And that's it $5 a month and I can do what you're doing. And you found your style stage, which is my style is audio over a microphone. Having honest conversations with someone I'm deeply listening to dare. I say, you are demonstrating who you are, what you do and how you do it in every single episode you do.

You're demonstrating your value. You're having guests on that are probably going to teach you something new in every single episode. I know that's true for me. And why wouldn't I do that?

[00:56:43] Trista, Host: And there's so much more good stuff in your book and your podcast. I'm highly gonna recommend your podcast for people to listen to it, especially if they want to get more in depth with experts on topics around branding. I want to thank you so much for being on. Is there anything else that you wanted to talk about that we haven't covered yet?

We covered a

[00:57:03] DP Knudten: lot of ground. Yeah, no, we, we certainly did. I thanks so much Trista for having me on, I really would love for people to go to DP kanuten.com/gift to download those downloadable PDFs to get you started on your personal brand journey. And I really want to thank you for responding to my query about being on your podcast via pod match.

I had no idea pod match was going to be such a valuable tool for podcasters, but, and I'm just saying this, they aren't paying me anything there, but it's a tool that I find really valuable because I did not know about your podcast or how interesting it could be, but boom, now we're connected and frankly, I consider you a part of my universe now and I'm hoping me too.

[00:57:51] Trista, Host: Absolutely. Me too. I was happy that you reached out and I wish you all the best and I'm looking forward to the next time we collaborate.

Thank you so much, DP.

[00:58:01] DP Knudten: All right. Thank you, Trista.

Plate 70: SPEAK with Helen Moses of Raleigh, NC

trista@iwokeupawesome.com (Trista Polo) — Sun, 31 Oct 2021 23:46:10 GMT

Plate 70 - SPEAK with Helen Moses of Raleigh, NC

Helen Moses is a voice and communication expert, a TEDx speaker coach, and owner of Speak Up Communications. Her mission in work and life is to help individuals and teams communicate with alignment, confidence, and empathy, building stronger and more lasting relationships that lead to greater fulfillment, efficiency, and results for all. Helen lives in Raleigh NC with her husband of 24 years, 16-year-old daughter, and two cats, and also has a son in college. She is an expert at making goofy faces, and, thanks to her father’s influence, is one of those rare people who admit to appreciating the pun-ishlingly bad humor in puns. https://helenmoses.com/ Plate Story News Feature: Ohio Plate Mistake Makes North Carolina Throw Shade. Enjoy this episode and want to buy me a cup of coffee? https://www.buymeacoffee.com/pl8story

Connect with Helen:

November 8, 2021 you are invited to attend her special Audio Book Launch and Birthday Celebration, no cost event at 7-8pm ET - perfect for Writers and Speakers - https://qe805.infusionsoft.app/app/form/audiobook-party

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/HelenMoses-SpeakUp

https://www.facebook.com/HelenMosesYourVoiceCoach

https://www.linkedin.com/in/helenmoses/

https://www.instagram.com/helenmoses.voicecoach/

Connect with Trista's PL8STORY Podcast:

- Nominate a plate - https://www.pl8story.com

- Meet your host - https://www.iwokeupawesome.com/bookme

- Listen and Subscribe to Trista's PL8STORY Podcast on your favorite app including Spotify, Apple, Audible, Amazon, Alexa, Google, IHeart Radio, and more

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Episode Transcript

SPEAK

Hey there, Trista. Polo here with this week's plate story. We meet Helen. In this episode, she's a former speech therapist who specialized in aphasia losing your ability to speak from an injury or damage to your brain. She's moved into coaching now and loves the opportunity to help people find their voice at work and love and within themselves. Now can you guess her license plate it's SPEAK. Perfect, right? Helen is a voice and communication expert. She's a TEDx speaker, coach, and an author. Her book, Voice Unleashed: Speaking Faith and Courage comes out on audio November 8th (2021) and she's holding a launch party that'll be jam packed with content for writers and speakers alike.

The event is free of charge and you should bring your own cake because it's also her birthday celebration. We talk about Helen's coaching style and her book. She also shares the lessons that she has learned about communication from her children. And her 24 year marriage to her husband, but first some plate story news.

Ohio has a new license plate design. As the birthplace of the Wright brothers, they put the very first airplane on the top of the plate with a banner flying Behind the plane saying birthplace of aviation. Oops. Wait, that's not right.

They put the banner on the wrong end. And it's actually flying from the front of the plane, making it look like the plane is flying in reverse. Well, that's a bit backwards. The plate design has been recalled and is being corrected. The new one will be available in mid December. And the error is costing a reprinting in the area of about 35,000 plates.

I bet some of those misprints will show up on E-bay eventually. What do you think. When I heard this story about an Ohio plate, I thought it was odd because I remember visiting kitty Hawk where the first flight was, and I'm not great at geography, but I know I was in North Carolina, not Ohio. But since the Wright brothers were born in Ohio.

They take credit as the birthplace of aviation. See what they did there. North Carolina department of transportation. Didn't miss the opportunity to take a dig at Ohio for this. Apparently the rivalry around this issue between the two states is about as old as flight itself. Because while the Wright brothers were born in Ohio. Their first flight was in kitty Hawk, North Carolina. There's a whole ripe brothers museum there, and you can even walk on the actual ground where the plane took off successfully for the first time.

In reply to this mistake, hitting the news, the North Carolina department of transportation account tweeted, y'all leave Ohio alone. They wouldn't know they weren't there . Has an error like this ever happened, where you work, what happened and how did your organization resolve it?

Leave a comment and let me know. Now let's go meet Helen.

Welcome to this week's episode. I'm super excited to have Helen Moses. Her license plate is SPEAK and she's from Raleigh North Carolina. Welcome Helen. Hello, Trista. Thanks for having. Yeah, I'm so happy to have you. So tell me the story behind why you chose that as your license plate. Sure. Well, so speaking is very important to me. I am a coach for people who speak both in communication and in giving presentations. Empowering people's voices.

So speaking is very important to me and I want to encourage everyone else to use their voice. So I see it as a, you know, a incentive or an invitation, if you will, to people who are following me on the highway, speak, you know, your voice is important. And I, my business is called Speak Up Communications. So I actually looked for SPEAKUP and that wasn't available, but SPEAK was, and I thought, you know what? That's actually even better. I like that even better. So that's the real story behind it. I was just thrilled to get it and I love it every time I see it makes me very happy. I love that. And you believe in manifesting your life as well.

And you had shared when we first spoke that that's sort of the thought behind it as well, like speak your life into reality. Can you share a little bit about that? Yeah. Well, you know, You can speak things into existence. You can speak them out loud and then the vibrations affect the rest of the world.

Right? The other people hear it. You are held more accountable for it. You and more people are on the lookout for it. Of course. God spoke the Universe into existence, according to what I believe. And so that's pretty powerful stuff that we can do with our voices. So if we speak something out loud, there's so much more likelihood that it's going to actually come to be.

Yeah, I believe that as well. I think that we create our lives on purpose. So I'm very on board with all of that. I'd love to hear. How have you used the manifesting, the speaking things into existence to create the life you have now?

I, I, haven't always been as good at it as I am currently and will continue to become, but. I said, I would say that in the past 10 years, a little more than five, five to eight years, maybe I've been on a journey. I find myself having completed the hardest part, what I think. And I hope it's the hardest part of this journey so far, but I didn't start out as a voice coach with a true understanding of the value of my own voice and my own personal worth.

And that. Didn't allow me to manifest things with my voice, because I wasn't speaking in my truth. I wasn't aligned with my truth and the value that I didn't recognize that I had. So since I, I got, I had a coach who kind of called me out on that. I was saying, I can help people sound confident when they speak.

And she said, well, You, you can't do that because I've never heard you sound confident when you speak. Wow. So that was a hard thing, as you can imagine, it feels like they're just kind of knocked off your feet there. And in that moment I was just kinda stunned and shocked. And, and exposed, you know, kind of felt exposed like, oh my gosh, she's just shown everybody that I'm a fake, but as I have reconciled myself with that, I kept coaching with her.

I didn't stop. That turned out to be one of the best gifts I've ever received. Was that awareness that I was hiding still part of me was still hiding. So to, since then, I've done several things to speak up with heart, to speak up with faith and courage. One of them is, is my book. It's called Voice Unleashed: Speak Up with Faith and Courage. My story of how that came to be. And then of course, I, I, it's not just about me. I wrote this for people who might be on a similar journey and want to understand some things they can think about that might help them move to the next. So the book happened and something else really exciting about the book happened.

When I spoke and asked, took, took the time, took the courage, did the preparation to ask. Someone that I wasn't sure would have the time or interest in writing the forward for that book. And I did, I asked Bishop Michael Curry to write it and he did write it. And he's internationally known. And from the Episcopal church, he preached at Prince Harry and Meghan Markel's wedding.

I had some connections to him at which I, I leveraged, but ultimately I, I asked him. If he would do it and that's something I could never have imagined doing before. Having that belief that what I had to say was, was worth asking someone like him with, with the voice, as powerful as his, to, lend his voice to my book.

And and I asked him if he would read it for the audio book version. So his voice is there in my audio book, reading the foreword. That's amazing. It's pretty amazing. He's an amazing man. Yeah. And it just shows that speaking isn't just about speaking out.

It's also about making requests and being willing to ask for help. Being willing to be vulnerable. I have a very similar journey to yours. I was an amazing speaker. I was a powerful leader. I was all that and a bag of chips and it was all an act. It was not authentic. It was me pretending. So nobody would really see what a piece of crap I thought of myself and I went through my own journey of really facing that reality and realizing, you know, you first you have to admit you have a problem. Right.

You know, just kind of figuring out who I was, owning who I was and then being it authentically. And so to a lot of people who knew me then know me now to them I'm the same. But the difference is now I really believe it myself, instead of hoping you believe it over there, because I don't believe it myself. So self-worth, you talked about has a huge impact on who I was and who I am now.

And it sounds like it has for you as well. So how has self-worth played a role in that journey? Well, before I went on the journey to discover my self-worth and, and claim it and, and recognize I needed to do it. That was kind of that awareness that you're talking about. Right. It's, it's trans it's transformational the work to, to find your self worth, to understand it.

And. You know, I I've come to this revelation. That's nothing new. It's been there as old as the universe that, that all creations, all human beings are of equal value and equal worth. There's really nothing that anyone can do to change their value or their worth. Now they can make choices and have behaviors caused them to get into trouble or cause people to want to avoid them, or, you know, they can choose behaviors, but they can't, they can't cancel their own value or their own worth. And so I just know too many people that are going around unable to see that they .. that they matter.

Unable to see that their voice both literally and metaphorically can make a big difference. And it is meant to, you know, it's not just a one day. Everyone can speak up and make a difference. It's no, it's just living your life and living it with some sense of purpose that. Speaking out loud, living your life out loud, following your purpose out loud.

And so for the self-worth piece for people out there who may be going, I don't really understand what my value is. I don't really understand how I can be worth something because X, Y, and Z, all these things happened to me. I never did this. I'm not good enough. I want to help people reframe that and see everything

that they've experienced so far, all of their choices, so far, all of their relationships, all of their ideas and dreams and talents and everything, all of it is part of what their voices today and what makes it so valuable and it's unique because nobody else has it. So I get really excited when I started finding a way to share that with people. And when I see someone have that transformation that you and I have both been through of not having to show up as an act or perform or pretend to be somebody they're not, but they can actually feel like, yes, I can just be Helen. I can just be Trista today. I don't have to do anything else.

That's enough. That's all that matters that. Lights me up, like nothing else when that happens. And I see that transformation. Hmm. I love that. Before you were a coach, you were your. Well, right. That's right. I worked as a speech language pathologist or speech therapist, and the majority of the people that I worked with were people who had aphasia or some other language for speech impairment due to a brain injury or a stroke.

And aphasia is when your language is impaired, it affects your ability to speak, understand, write, read in all various kinds of ways. One thing that's clear from all the research is that no one person's aphasia affects them exactly the same as anyone else's. But I had the privilege, I would say to work with these folks who had suddenly had their voice literally sometimes and metaphorically taken away from them and their family.

No, this is a very fundamental need to be able to communicate with people that we love and do that on a daily basis, share our hearts and our thoughts. And when that's just taken away from you suddenly, I mean, that's enormous in terms of an impact on you. So I learned when I worked with them, I was like, look, oh my gosh, these people went from one afternoon being fine to that night, not being fine. I'm not going to take my voice for granted. And I want to share that message with the world. Don't take your voice for granted. We take everything for granted, all of it. I mean, whoever, everyone can come up with something, don't take whatever for granted, for me. It's the voice. Don't take your voice for granted.

It is, it is such an amazing gift for you and for everybody else who hears it, you know, your insights, your opinions could mean the difference between. Something not going very well. And something that creates a movement down the road. I mean, it really matters. And your ability to connect with people really matters.

So that's, that's one of the things that I got from that work as a speech therapist, I don't work officially as a speech therapist anymore, but I certainly rely heavily on my training and my experience. Helping people regain a sense of communication and connection. When I do coach my clients. Yeah. That's what I was going to ask is how much of that training do you bring into coaching I have a whole toolbox full of public speaking techniques, competence, building techniques, ways to get insights on what matters to you. And what's important for you to speak up about .

Yeah, absolutely. So who are your clients? What are people looking to achieve when they hire you as a coach? Like what are the issues they're asking for? They're they're coming in. They're saying I can't get out of my head. I'm always all my thoughts in my head. I can't be present when I'm speaking to people, I'm always worried about how I'm going to come across.

That's one thing people will tell me. I've had people tell me, I just got moved into this new position. And I want to make sure that the people that are reporting to me and the people that I'm reporting to know that I actually belong here, I've I deserve, or I have earned the right to be in this position.

I've also had people tell me they want to get to the next level. And for whatever reason, they keep getting overlooked. And so they want me to help and help them figure it out. What might it be? Is there anything about the way they talk or, or speak up or adult that could be causing them to not get promoted or not get seen and recognized the way they want to?

Those are some .People tell me sometimes it's just a quick a client who has a presentation coming up and we just work on making sure that it fits and a. What they want it to accomplish. And so that those are shorter term clients, but the ones who stay with me three to six months, typically they are the ones who are there speakers or entrepreneurs or professionals who speak or give presentations lead meetings.

And what ha what they all have in common is that they don't have a clear understanding of their value. Or how to leverage that, how to communicate that, how to speak in a way that reflects that value so that others can see it without being arrogant or egotistical or, or condescending any. That makes sense.

I was thinking about public speakers or people who were afraid of public speaking, or wanted to be public speakers or wanting to be better public speakers. You could probably help people in those categories very easily as well. Yes, very much so. Yeah. Awesome. Now you have a book. It is just out on audio and you are having a launch party for it.

So let's talk about that because that's very exciting. It is exciting. It is exciting. I published my paperback version and the ebook about a year ago in September of 2020. So I'm celebrating the one year anniversary of the birth, the first birthday of that. The audio book just came out last month. And so it's the, the birth of the audio book as well, which is in my voice.

And of course, Bishop Curry's voice for the forward. But that, that's very exciting. So I'm having this party it's on zoom and anyone can come. We're going to celebrate people's voices. Through writing and through speaking in audio books. So I'm hoping that we'll get a lot of people who either have always wanted to write a book or have written books, but that can come and share and talk about their ideas and what they've written about, or want to write about whether or not they would want to do an audio book version.

Would they want to speak, if not, who would they. Whose voice would they want to speak for their audio book? So it's just questions like that. To get excited, to have someone from the studio where I did the recording to come and talk about what that experience is like and answer people's questions. And I'll have a few little things to give away throughout the party as well.

Oh. And they're like fun. Oh, very important. Bring your own cake. Because it's a birthday celebration

also happens to be my own birthday. So I want to share my birthday with all these other people who have these amazing ideas about books and that sort of thing. So, but you bring your own cake. That's. That's beautiful. I love it's not just a launch for you, but you're providing a ton of value for your attendees and it's open to everyone, right?

Any. Is there a fee for it? There's no fee. No. Okay. So it's a party show up and, and get great value and help you celebrate your birthday. That's right. For one hour, what starts at 7:00 PM? Eastern time on November 8th, which is a Monday. I love it. I love it. I love it. So, in addition to speaking, you use your voice for something else as well.

I do. I like to sing. Yay. Where do you do most of your singing? Most of it is at My church at my choir. I'll tell you this recently, I had the honor of singing at a funeral and this was for a man who was in his nineties, actually a world war two veteran and his wife, because they both died during COVID.

They finally got to have the Memorial Memorial service, but this man heard me singing at my church 20 years ago, maybe. And ever since then, he kept telling me. I want you to sing at my funeral. I want you to sing. I'm serious, Helen. I want you to sing. So I I kept telling him, yes, yes, sir. I will do that.

And you have to promise me to make that as far away from now as possible. So he did his job. It took him about 20 years before that happened, and I felt his presence. And, you know, just what an honor to be able to do that for, for him, for his wife, for the family, for the people there. And to be. To be able to give of my voice is pretty special.

And even every Sunday, just singing with the choir feels really good. I've had few occasions to sing in a band type situation and. I kind of love that. I kind of love being behind the microphone and singing in a different way than, than what I typically do in church. And of course I'm a classically trained singer.

That was my college degree, my bachelor's degree. And that's very, very formulaic, very technique oriented. And I'm grateful for that, but sometimes just that free flowing, just singing from the heart. That's the experience I had behind those microphones. The few times I had those where I just could be free and let my voice go without worrying about the technique.

And what kind of music were you singing in? The bands that you participated in? One of them was a. Church band that I had assembled, not because it was an event, a woman's event. In fact, this this cover is from a painting that I had commissioned to remind me of that experience of singing. And that was when I kind of let go of my, the expectations and the fear that I had, that the people in my church who weren't used to this kind of music would kick me out of the choir or w I mean, I really worried about.

That never happened, but I really did worry about that. Because it, it's funny how we have so many fears and the majority of them are just unfounded. They're so much, they're so unfounded and we press them on everything and we believe them and then we believe them and they're not true. And so that's one question that I'll ask people all the time is what you know, who said that.

Well, you know, they'll say this is going to happen. This is not going to be good. And I'll say, well, who, whose voice are you hearing? Who said that? And maybe there's a voice from their past a parent, someone critical, but most of the time they pause like, well no one actually said that. Right. Yeah, for sure.

Now I wanted to ask you, you talk a lot about speaking and speaking your truth and speaking up and speaking your love life into existence. What are your thoughts on listening? Oh gosh. I'm so glad you asked that question. Okay. Because yes, I'm all about speaking, but you've also heard me use the word communication, which is a two way.

And one of the things that I am becoming more and more drawn to is how I can be helpful and influential and, and bringing people who have different opinions to a table to have a conversation, not an argument. Not an elevation of everybody's voices, but a true conversation. And that cannot happen without listening.

That that has to be the first step. We talked earlier about how there's value in everyone's voice, so that mindset needs to be in play. And sometimes the best way you can speak up is to listen and not just be in silence while they're talking. And plan the next thing you're going to say, aha. Well, I'm going to, I'm going to counter that argument.

But listen with curiosity, listen, to try to understand why they feel the way they do. What's led them to that because I argue that even if what we believe is irrational or could be proven for. There's a reason why we stand up and say, we believe this something has led us to this point, some series of things.

And that's where we can start to find something in common. That's the other thing, when you listen, look for what you have in common with the other person, sometimes you have to start with, well, we're both human beings.

Back to basics if we need to, right. Sometimes we have to start there. And I think this whole concept of speaking up with heart and speaking with empathy is totally about listening as a component of that, it can't happen without it.

Yeah. Because if there's somebody speaking and there's no one listening, it's like the tree in the forest. It is right. Yeah. It doesn't make any difference. I love that analogy. What, of course the tree makes noise. That's the question? Does the tree make any noise? Well, yes, of course it does, but does it matter.

I love that now. You're not just a coach. You're also a mom and a wife. Tell me a little about your personal side. Okay. I have I have been married for 24 years now.

We met through my church and he is very much a good balance for me. We are and what they say, opposites attract. We are opposites in many ways, which has been very good because we, we kind of balance each other out. We have two children, we have a son who's 21 in his fourth year at college and a daughter who is 16.

She's a junior in high school. And it has been quite the honor and the challenge to be their mother. I have learned so much, they have taught me more than anything else in this world. No one else. No course I've ever taken no coach that I've coached with, not even my husband and he's taught me a lot.

I have taught me as much as my two children. And the main thing that they have taught me is just to talk about using your voice authentically, you know, I used to worry so much about them and what would happen to them because they, you know, they have their own challenges. Both of them have had anxiety and depression.

That's something that's fairly common. So I can say that without going into details, but Especially when they were in those, those moments, I would worry so much and then I would speak to them and they would kind of shut me out. And they've taught me that I was bringing in this energy and this voice that they interpreted as criticism or disappointment and that.

And I was just trying to find the words. I mean, there's so many times I would like walk away and go, dang, I can't even, I don't even know what to say. I can even talk to my own children. But in those moments now I don't try. I just show up. I say, I love you. That's it. That's that's all I do. Sometimes that's so much more powerful than asking them questions that come across to them as, as criticism and judgment that they're not good enough. That's the last thing I want to show them with the way I speak. So of course, I think they've taught me a lot. And I also think they've been watching me and it's been fun to see them begin to advocate for themselves and find some joy and a little bit of purpose in their lives.

That's been really fun and I, and I will tell you that I will take a little bit of credit for. Modeling some things that have been positive for them. And that's something I wouldn't have tried to do before, because that sounded too arrogant or whatever, but I think more moms need to recognize and dads need to recognize that what they say and do does matter.

And especially the good stuff. It really does make a difference.

Absolutely. Well, thank you for sharing a little bit about your family life. And I'm just thinking about, you know, my friends and family that have children and are raising them and I'm sure that. There's a lot of that. I just want the best for you and what the child hears is, you know, maybe get off my back or you're judging me or I'm not good enough.

And it just reminds me that, like you said earlier, Communication's a two way street. It's not just what we're saying. It's how, what we're saying is landing for the other person. And I think that there is a gift in being willing to be responsible for how we're heard. My husband and I have been married for 25 years.

And he, I come from a family where the, my grandparents were married for over 50 years. I mean, they were married until my grandfather passed and that they would yell at each other really loud, you know? And so for me, like that's part of being married is sometimes you yell really loud and he can't be with it it's it doesn't work for him.

And so he's gotten really good at being able to say, you're yelling at me and I need you to stop yelling at me. And then I can say, oh yeah, that's. That worked in my grandparents' marriage. It doesn't work here. And then I can be responsible for doing, you know, for impacting him with my communication. And then I can change what I, so it's like a two-way street.

Like I have to be responsible for how my communication lands. I have to also be responsible about how your communication is landing for me. And that is advanced communication, right? When we can both be responsible, not only for what we're saying, but how we're being heard as well.

Very, very advanced 25 years of marriage. You got to figure it out, right? You've been married 24 years. Anybody who's been married. Probably even over 10 years knows that if you're still happy, you're doing it on purpose and it takes work for it. It does. It's not a fairy tale. It's not a happily ever after.

And they rode off into the sunset. Maybe that's good for a year. Yeah, that's about it. Oh my gosh. You just reminded me that early on in. I think it was after we were married. We, we dated for five years before we got married. So I think it was after we got married. But anyway, early on in our relationship, my husband would say to me, don't use that teacher voice with me.

And I thought, well, how can I help it? I mean, I'm just trying to explain something to you. Right. And I got the first, I just got really mad, but he hasn't accused me of that in a long time. And I think that's because I've done the work to change. Something about the teacher voice was negative to him. And probably in those moments, what was most important to me was to be right.

And that's why it came across as the teacher, the negative. So recognizing what's behind what you're saying is also valuable. And part of this process that we experienced as we age in our marriages and other relationships is what, what are we, what's the purpose behind what we say? Why are we saying what we say?

And when someone tells us a response that we're coming across in a way that we, we think we didn't intend maybe. Underneath we did. And it's worth a little bit of self examination and trying to let things go and reframe things and come across in a different way. Yeah, absolutely. But you have so much knowledge about not just speaking from the clinical side, but also speaking your truth and you're clearly really out to help people raise up.

Worth. And I'm all about that too. So I really acknowledge you for the work you're doing. I congratulate you for your book and having it come out on audio. And there will be a link in the show notes, not only to your YouTube channel and ways people can connect with you, but if they want to participate and join in on the celebration and get that awesome.

Content that you're offering as your book launch audio book launch, we'll have that in the show notes for people as well.

I just love your mission in the world, and I wish you all the best with it, especially with your launch. So I hope that there will be people listening to this that will show up and be part of the. And I want to thank you so much for being on today. Well, it has been really fun. I've enjoyed it a lot and thank you.

Thank you for the time. Absolutely. Thank you so much, Helen. I wish you all the best and we will see you soon. Sounds good.

This is Trista polo wishing you well on the road to your next adventure.

Plate 69 - MGIXXER

trista@iwokeupawesome.com (Trista Polo) — Mon, 25 Oct 2021 13:15:51 GMT

Plate 69 - MGIXXER with Imani from Bay Area, CA

This week we meet Imani, from Bay Area, California. Her license plate, MGIXXER, is in memory of her dad, who was gone too soon. She is the founder of Recognize Royalty, a clothing line that celebrates that you are royalty. Imani is an advocate for people suffering from mental illness and those who needing access to services. She has been through a lot but thought it all she never questioned her worth, never let her siblings down and never gave up hope. www.recognizeroyalty.com Enjoy this episode and want to buy me a cup of coffee? https://www.buymeacoffee.com/pl8story

Connect with Imani:

Facebook: Recognize Royalty - https://www.facebook.com/search/top?q=Recognize%20Royalty

Business Ig: @RecognizeRoyalty.us

Personal IG: @Squishacious

Website: https://RecognizeRoyalty.us

Connect with Trista's PL8STORY Podcast:

- Nominate a plate - https://www.pl8story.com

- Meet your host - https://www.iwokeupawesome.com

- Listen and Subscribe to Trista's PL8STORY Podcast on your favorite app including Spotify, Apple, Audible, Amazon, Alexa, Google, IHeart Radio, and more

- Support the Podcast with a free cash back customer account at http://www.shopallthat.com

Transcript for Episode

MGIXXER

[00:00:00] Trista Polo: Hey there I'm Trista polo. This is Trista'sPL8STORY Podcast, and I am super excited for this week's episode. We're going to meet Imani. She's somebody I met on clubhouse. She's from California. She's a business owner and she has some very cool thoughts on self-love and self-worth.

[00:00:19] Trista Polo: She even gives us some great advice on leveling up your self-worth with some super easy tips.

[00:00:26] Trista Polo: We'll start out with her plate story, of course. She got her plate in honor of her dad. So we'll hear about their relationship. And we also are going to talk about the time that she was homeless. How she made it through that, what that experience was like for her. And some of the important things she learned from that process. All throughout Imani's life, no matter what was going on, good or bad, she has never lost track of her own worth. And that is what I love most about her. She puts that into her clothing line, her business, and her relationships. And i know you're going to love getting to know her.

But first in plate story news, the state of Maine currently known for their anything goes, vanity plates will begin recalling profane plates with swear words, suggestive language and other messages considered to be inappropriate. If you follow any of the Maine focused license plate accounts on Instagram or elsewhere, you've seen examples of these plates.

One account on Instagram, @vanity_of_maine has lots of examples including TOESCKR masturbator, which is MSTRB8R and MILF wagon, MILFWGN. Will these be recalled among the lot? Plenty of plates I've seen use the F word or some variation of it. There are estimated to be about 400 plates that will be affected by this new law. I would have guessed it was a lot more based on what is shared around the internet.

Well, the ride is about to come to an end. Secretary of state Shenna Bellows has spearheaded this change in law saying if it can't be set on the six o'clock news, it shouldn't be on a license plate. And since the plate is technically owned by the state, they have the authority to change their policy.

It'll be a bit of a process to finalize the list of affected plates, recall them and reissue new ones. I actually feel badly for the people affected because I wonder are they going to get to choose new plates to replace their current ones? If they're going to get generic issued plates or have to go through the whole process again, with a new set of criteria.

What do you think about this? Should Maine be changing a six year tradition of free speech on license plates. Leave me a comment and let me know. Now let's go meet Imani.

[00:02:46] Trista Polo: Welcome. I am super excited to have my guest for today and we're going to jump right in Imai. Welcome to Trista's PL8STORY Podcast

[00:02:58] Imai, Recognize Royalty: good afternoon.Thanks for having me.

[00:02:59] Trista Polo: Absolutely. Now tell me, where are you from?

[00:03:05] Imai, Recognize Royalty: I'm from the bay area in California, so

[00:03:08] Trista Polo: awesome. Silicon valley. Very good. And your vanity license plate, we actually met on clubhouse. So you are my official first clubhouse connection turned podcast interview, which is very exciting. So what is your vanity plate?

[00:03:27] Imai, Recognize Royalty: My vanity plate is MGIXXER. Gixxer is the nickname for the Suzuki motorcycles and the M stands for Mars or my dad's name, Marlo. So MGIXXER or on behalf of my father he always had like his name somewhere on his cars, on his motorcycles. Like he was. Definitely into those were, that was his thing. So that's why I was like inspired by that.

[00:03:55] Imai, Recognize Royalty: My dad did pass away in 2018 and I just wanted to dedicate something to to him. I do take care of my Mustang, like to the fullest extent. And now that he's not here to help me out. But I did want to do this. Like I said, like in dedication for him.

[00:04:15] Trista Polo: That's awesome. And I'm sorry for your loss. So you, did you get the license plate after he passed? In memory of him?

[00:04:24] Imai, Recognize Royalty: Yes. I got the license plate after he passed and it actually, it took nine months to actually physically get the license plate. So it was a journey within itself. That was a rollercoaster of like, am I ever going to get it right? It's not like I was in a rush to have it because where, where am I going to go?

[00:04:43] Imai, Recognize Royalty: It's going to be at the back of my car, but I just really wanted it once I placed the order. And they gave me a due date. I was looking forward in the mail.

[00:04:52] Trista Polo: Yeah. And so you have it on your Mustang. Yeah. And is this you, you talked about your Mustang pretty affectionately. So are you a Mustang girl?

[00:05:03] Imai, Recognize Royalty: Yes, my dad's first car was a Mustang. My first car was a Mustang when I was born. My dad was driving a Mustang, so Mustangs are very near and dear to my heart. My, I did drive a Mercedes, but also I don't really like driving What do they call automatics? I drive a stick shift. So that's probably also why I have an attachment to my Mustang.

[00:05:29] Imai, Recognize Royalty: And like I said, my dad drives mustang. He loves mustangs too. So that bond that we have, we have so much in common, but even the bond of the car itself. The plate compliments

[00:05:39] Trista Polo: the car. Yeah, absolutely. Now I'd love to hear what else you have in common with your dad? What did you get from him that is important to you to carry on inside yourself?

[00:05:52] Imai, Recognize Royalty: Yeah. Yes. It's crazy. My dad my dad has two other kids and out of all of them, like me and my dad are, we like the same sports teams. We all like sports, but like when it comes to football, we're from the bay area, my brothers and sisters, they like the Raiders and me and my dad, we liked the Dallas Cowboys.

[00:06:11] Imai, Recognize Royalty: No one likes the Dallas Cowboys. We get so much rap for it, but it's all good. It comes with it. I'm saying when it comes to basketball and me and my dad were like the only warriors fans, my siblings, they kind of like bounce around between teams, but like. Day one warriors fan. I got a Richardson Jersey.

[00:06:27] Imai, Recognize Royalty: I don't really think I'm going to hop on the bandwagon. I'm getting the Curry Jersey, but I support cause he's on our team. I love him, but like our sports team, even baseball, like were giants fans. My other siblings are A's fans. I dunno like me and my dad, I was always a daddy's girl too when I was younger.

[00:06:42] Imai, Recognize Royalty: We have a lot in common amongst, like when it comes to the things that we like, the things that we bond over.

[00:06:49] Trista Polo: Well, how old was he when he passed? Or how old were you when he passed away?

[00:06:54] Imai, Recognize Royalty: He was 49. I was

[00:06:57] Imai, Recognize Royalty: 25.

[00:06:59] Trista Polo: Wow. That's young. Yeah. For both of you, you

[00:07:06] Imai, Recognize Royalty: He'd be like super healthy. He'd be like, oh, what do you want to eat?

[00:07:08] Imai, Recognize Royalty: And I'm like, I'm a foodie, but he'd be like, I'm on a diet. I don't know why this happen, but he's an inspiration in so many ways. And when it comes to health, fitness just being a good person in general, that's my dad, everybody loved him.

[00:07:22] Trista Polo: Yeah. That's awesome. And I'm sorry that he's passed and especially so young, but you're definitely keeping him alive in your memories and in your heart. That's very clear to me. Yeah. Yeah. So what what do you do? I know that you have a brand that you're pretty passionate about. I'd love to hear a little bit about that.

[00:07:46] Imai, Recognize Royalty: Yes. My clothing brand is Recognize Royalty is a clothing brand for both men and women. And it's basically a brand to help people recognize their own self-worth just to remind people to recognize your own self-worth because we have it within us. And , there was some point in our lives where there've been younger, whether it be post puberty whenever like that, we felt like we were at our Heights. And then that may have like, someone may have put out our fire at some point, but no matter our situation that we currently may be in, or the situation that we were in the past, it's like, that's not who we are. And we as individual need to recognize that we are worthy of so much more.

[00:08:27] Imai, Recognize Royalty: Even if we have a lot, if some people may consider it a lot. You deserve even more like you deserve everything you have, especially if you've worked for it. And that's basically what the brand is about. For me, it basically started when I was homeless, living in my car. And at the time was living in a two door Mustang.

[00:08:47] Imai, Recognize Royalty: And I was still taking care of other people, but. I kind of felt some type of way about myself. I was still working. I had a full-time job, still helping other people being like my siblings. But my situation, wasn't the greatest. And I just needed to recognize my own self self-worth like, okay, I need to slow down and stop pouring from this empty cup and pour it a little more into myself and realize I'm not my situation. And I needed to somehow some way save up or do what I needed to do to get out sleeping in your car, essentially. And then that was basically me realizing like my own self worth. I am deserving of everything that I have and I should not , feel ashamed for what I have.

[00:09:31] Imai, Recognize Royalty: I should not feel guilty for what I have. I've worked hard for what I have. And my siblings are also something I worked for and towards, so I feel like that is also rewarding to see when they're flourishing, when they're just being grown adults. I just love to see that. And yeah, I wanted to be able to teach people to be able to get out of their situations no matter what the situation may be whether they don't have support, whether they think they don't have support, there's always help. So on recognizeroyalty.us there's resources for anything when it comes to, if you want to start your own business, there's multiple groups doing that. Maybe you want to become, you want to become a part of the music industry, but there's a lot of , people doubting you or saying , no, there's too, maybe it's too saturated.

[00:10:20] Imai, Recognize Royalty: Like there's people on the website, who can help resources when it comes to where to go to, if you need help on how to be safe during protests how to be aware of them and all of that and even housing. My situation was a housing situation. So anyone going through that there's also resources on there.

[00:10:38] Imai, Recognize Royalty: So that's basically where the brand stems from and the goal is to get more people to realize their own self worth. We are not our situation and to just uplifting.

[00:10:51] Trista Polo: Well, I love that message. And you know, when I saw your brand on Instagram with the royalty, I didn't get the connection right away. But then when you said it was like, we could recognize the royalty in ourselves and each of us, I thought, boy, that is awesome.

[00:11:07] Trista Polo: Now I have to ask you, I'm just thinking about , Maslow's Hierarchy the very first basic thing you need is shelter and food and safety. And it's only when you get to the very tippy top that you actually become what's called self actualized where you can believe, I am worthy. I am able to be everything I can be.

[00:11:31] Trista Polo: The fact that you were able to see that, that you are bigger than your situation, that you are not to be judged by where you live, but who you are in your heart, all of that, that you went through to get to that, knowing in that situation of not having a place to live, that seems very unusual to me.

[00:11:51] Trista Polo: So I would love to know how did you really get to know that when your situation was the way it was. You could still know inside that there was worth for you in there and that you were going to make it out of that and be able to create something so powerful, like a clothing brand and a fashion icon statement.

[00:12:10] Trista Polo: Okay. Yeah.

[00:12:11] Imai, Recognize Royalty: I actually always wanted to have my own clothing lines since I was in third grade. This is my third attempt at it, honestly. But as far as recognizing it in my situation, , I mean, when. You live in a very confined or small area. There's a lot of time to yourself basically.

[00:12:30] Imai, Recognize Royalty: And you can use that time to kind of dwell on the situation. You can use that time to cry, let it out, do what you gotta do. But hopefully majority of that time is spent thinking , how am I going to get out of this situation? And it was a lot of times. Okay. I'm college educated. I have a full time job that was always there, but I have a full-time job.

[00:12:49] Imai, Recognize Royalty: I'm college educated. I need to find a way out of this. And I know there is a way out of this. This is not my forever situation. So it was just realizing that. Constantly reminding myself that even at the end of the day, you can tell yourself. And people can tell you to say that, but it's kind of like easier said than done.

[00:13:07] Imai, Recognize Royalty: It's kind of just an affirmation. So it's like going out there and finding the resources. I'm going through a situation right now where I'm utilizing resources, but you're still not getting the help that you need. And that's the situation that some people are in. Even when they hear that, oh, Mani was homeless.

[00:13:23] Imai, Recognize Royalty: Like, oh, Mani, where's your family. You have family. It must've been a choice for you to be homeless. That's not everyone's situation. But you can't think about what everybody else thinks at the same time. But at the end of the day, I had to realize I had to look at it for myself. I couldn't look at it from everyone else's perspective. And it was like, you have so much going for you. So just get up and do it yourself kind of thing. But yeah, definitely utilizing resources, which is why Royalty provides resources, because those resources were not easy to find.

[00:13:53] Imai, Recognize Royalty: And there was a lot like where I live in San Jose, there was a lot of homeless people. People are getting evicted every single day. So if the resources are hard to find or help, if you're reaching out and it's going to take three to five business days to hear a response, things don't happen right away. Again, that's where I came from is , realizing this is not my forever situation.

[00:14:17] Imai, Recognize Royalty: I'm like, I'm gonna find something some way to get out of it. And I want to help other peoples do the same.

[00:14:24] Trista Polo: Well, I really acknowledge you for always knowing inside what your worth was. You've mentioned a few times that you had a full-time job . Did they know that you did not have a house while you were working?

[00:14:37] Imai, Recognize Royalty: No, my job did not know because when when you apply for a job, you need to put an address on there. So of course I had my previous address, it's not like they're going to mail anything for you to sign. , so they don't know that I was homeless, but I had I had a full-time job. So my even , my brother would be like, well, if you're a homeless, then why do you have a gym membership? Well, where do you expect me to shower? There are things you still have to set. You still have to live on a budget. And at least I had some sort of budget working, but it was like that budget was still like having that gym membership so I can have somewhere to shower having to that budget to pay my phone bill.

[00:15:19] Imai, Recognize Royalty: I also needed a hotspot to use my laptop to get my homework done. So there was still expenses that you have when you're homeless. It's not like being homeless is free.

[00:15:28] Imai, Recognize Royalty: Like we still need to eat. And at the same time I was feeding my siblings. So there's a lot that goes into. And no, my job did not know because I was still getting things done. I was still coming to work, looking cute every single day. That's what it was. Wow.

[00:15:45] Trista Polo: I really just can't even imagine. And you're saying that you also took care of your siblings during this whole situation.

[00:15:52] Trista Polo: It sounds like you really take personal ownership of their wellbeing. Were you solely responsible for them or they weren't living with you?

[00:16:02] Imai, Recognize Royalty: No, they weren't living with me and they were not my responsibility but I did my part in taking care of them. Like anything that they needed. I was there, whether it been food, financial or trip to the doctors, I was always just a phone call.

[00:16:19] Trista Polo: That's awesome. So they always knew that you had their back no matter what, which is really that's really important. So now you are building your brand.

[00:16:30] Trista Polo: You're still living in the bay area and you're doing a lot to grow. What kinds of things are you doing to grow your brand and really get it out there so people have access to the resources, but can also look super cute in what you're offering as well.

[00:16:45] Imai, Recognize Royalty: So in the in San Jose and particularly I have my pop-up shops and that's where people can come in live and kind of see what I've been working on when it comes to products.

[00:16:55] Imai, Recognize Royalty: Sometimes there'll be early releases at the popup that I just haven't released on the website. And that's when people can kind of like, get that personal stylist experience. There's always pieces to where it's like, but how do I wear it?

[00:17:07] Imai, Recognize Royalty: How I perceive royalty, how I would like other people to look at it as well is clothing it's supposed to express how you feel, however you are. If you need to, if you can't decide between some colors. Just need to put all of them on, like it's fine. Tomorrow is a new day and you will have a new color palette.

[00:17:26] Imai, Recognize Royalty: I've also done it in Hayward as well. The pop up events, but since the new normal I basically been advertising mainly on instagram and the email subscribers, they get the early they're the first people to know when product is released. So that hype is still there for people. And then Instagram also knows eventually, but mainly through social media and email subscribers as far as resources that is also released first to the email subscribers.

[00:17:58] Imai, Recognize Royalty: But. Even interacting with people through social media connecting with them. The activists that I met was through social media, but she's an activist here in my city, in San Jose. It turns out she's not even from here, but she has done so much for our city. She has stood up for our city. She has stopped so many evictions happening in our city.

[00:18:16] Imai, Recognize Royalty: Like she has contributed so much that I was like, people need to know about her. She has ways of like how to keep you safe during the protest. Like how can I be involved? Not necessarily be front and center. So these are, this is information that people need to know. This is information that people in my city in particular, because of what we're going through need to know.

[00:18:39] Trista Polo: Wow. That's really great. So you talk about a lot about your brand being about self-worth and self worth is super important to me as well. In fact, I have a self-worth assessment and mini course on my website because I wanted to pay forward a lot of the resources that I've learned, the tools that I've learned.

[00:19:00] Trista Polo: It sounds to me like you have an innate understanding of your own worth like that. You always knew you were worth something even in your lowest moments in life. And I will tell you that I am the opposite of that. I have always questioned my worth until just a few years ago, and I've done a lot of work to really accept my value.

[00:19:27] Trista Polo: Life's a lot harder when you don't believe you deserve good things.

[00:19:32] Trista Polo: Everything is harder. So I really resonate with the message behind your brand. What advice would you give someone who is really working on their self worth and really wants to have that innate understanding and knowledge that they are worthy. What would you recommend

[00:19:52] Imai, Recognize Royalty: all of these people that we look up to or aspire to be, or see on social media... we may not even know them and we believe that they live this great life. It's like, why can't you believe that you can live a great life? Why can't you believe that you can reach these goals and same for myself. I can do that. All these places that I've seen, these people go to, I can go there too.

[00:20:20] Imai, Recognize Royalty: Like, why can't we? And if you don't believe that, then you're going to be what you think, because you are what you put, what you put the most energy into is what's going to become. Why put so much energy into other people when we can be putting that energy into ourselves. So it's just reflecting on ourselves.

[00:20:45] Imai, Recognize Royalty: The advice that I would give is to stop pouring energy into other people and pour it back into yourself. Stop seeking validation. If you like it, then who cares if anybody does then just love it? Yeah, because we give everything that we give on even the advice that we give, we should be giving ourself the compliments that we get, we should be giving ourselves as well.

[00:21:09] Imai, Recognize Royalty: Yeah, just all that energy point to somebody else. Don't forget to pour that back into yourself.

[00:21:16] Trista Polo: Yeah, you're absolutely right. In fact, one of the things I'm thinking about from what you just said is love yourself first, because you can't love anybody else more than you love yourself. And so you've got to look in the mirror and really love who you are first.

[00:21:34] Trista Polo: And one thing you said that really also resonated for me is have opinions and own your opinions, like really own, whatever I believe is the right thing. Because I believe it. So it's the right thing for me and just really own that. So you said it in a different way, but that's kind of what I extrapolated from what you said.

[00:21:57] Trista Polo: And I was like, yeah, that really is a good place to start. I like blue own that just really own that you like blue. Or own that you love Mexican food, start small, just own your opinions about things and try on what that feels like. And you can grow it from there. So I think that's great advice.

[00:22:20] Trista Polo: That's really,

[00:22:21] Imai, Recognize Royalty: like you said, own it. Like my hair is purple. My hair has always been purple. I am over 25 years old and my hair is still purple. So even when it comes, they ask for different colors. No, this is me. , this is what comes with me. My work ethic is not going to change, going to be any better, I should say if it was a different color. But as going back to even pouring from an empty cup, we cannot continue to that. We need to even have boundaries and fill up our own cup to be able to pour into others. Don't get me wrong. I still help my siblings a hundred percent, but sometimes with some of them, I have to set those boundaries, whether it be for my mental health or just giving that space in order for me to grow.

[00:23:06] Imai, Recognize Royalty: Because when I'm at the level that I'm headed towards, then I can be able to give back to them even more. So you gotta sacrifice a little bit sometimes to get to where you're.

[00:23:20] Trista Polo: Yeah, for sure. That's great advice. So we'll have your website on the show notes and people will have access to your Instagram and we'll make sure to put how to connect and follow you on clubhouse for people on that app. And I just really appreciate you coming on and sharing your story. I really am very inspired by everything that you've yourself through and pulled yourself up from and what you're creating and then giving back

[00:23:45] Imai, Recognize Royalty: thank you so much for having me and for hearing my plate story, creating this plate. I didn't think anybody would ask about it or no story behind it, but clearly there is, and I'm so excited that I got to share that.

[00:23:59] Trista Polo: Me too. Thank you so much for being on.

[00:24:02] Trista Polo: I really enjoyed having you as a guest and I look forward to seeing all the wonderful things that you will create and continue to build with your recognized royalty.

[00:24:15] Imai, Recognize Royalty: Thank you for having me. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to do this. And I really appreciate this.

[00:24:21] Trista Polo: Thank you again. Some you're welcome.

[00:24:24] Trista Polo: Have a great day when you do.

This is Trista polo wishing you well on the road to your next adventure.

Plate 68 - FL YALL - with Shane Sams of Kentucky

trista@iwokeupawesome.com (Trista Polo) — Mon, 11 Oct 2021 12:30:35 GMT

Plate 68 - FL YALL with Shane Sams of Southeastern Kentucky

Shane Sams is the host of the Flipped Lifestyle Podcast. He's a former school teacher who had a negative experience at work, which turned into a catalyst for starting a business back in 2012 and becoming totally self employed in 2013.

Shane's business mission is to help family focused people start and grow successful online membership (recurring revenue) websites. He wants to spread this message to as many people as possible so they can spend more time with their families like he is now able to do since he has "flipped his life." Enjoy this episode and want to buy me a cup of coffee? https://www.buymeacoffee.com/pl8story

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TRANSCRIPT OF EPISODE:

FL YALL

Welcome to Trista's PL8STORY Podcast. I'm super excited because we have a license plate that is going to knock your socks off today.

[00:00:27] Trista Polo: The story, the man behind. Shane Sams from Kentucky, the license plate is FL YALL. Welcome, Shane. Thanks for being with us.

[00:00:37] Shane Sams: How you doing Trista.

[00:00:38] Shane Sams: That man ever since I've found you, I'm kind of addicted to your podcast now. I'm not going to lie. I've been telling so many people about this. I'm like, they're like, like what's your favorite podcast right now?

[00:00:47] Shane Sams: I'm like, have you heard this girl with these license plates? This is amazing. Thank you for letting me come on your show. I appreciate it.

[00:00:53] Trista Polo: That's awesome. I'm excited to have you. You have so much energy and so much to share, but let's start where we always start with the story behind your plate. What is FL YALL?

[00:01:05] Shane Sams: Well, y'all, you're going to figure it out real quick, just cause I'm from Kentucky. If you're watching this on video, I got a big Kentucky glow in behind me on my wall. And we'll we say y'all, I will say you'ens every once in a while and you may get a ye haw before this podcast is over. I'm just saying, so the y'all part is definitely just growing up, you know, in Southeast Kentucky and it's kind of our, our personality and all that.

[00:01:25] Shane Sams: The FL actually stands for Flipped Lifestyle, which is the brand and podcasts that we have now. is this, So I used to be a school teacher and, you know, I was a school teacher in Southeast Kentucky and I probably didn't make enough money to buy a personalized plate. And I definitely didn't want to put it on my Nissan that had a duct tape bumper and the front.

[00:01:45] Shane Sams: Right. So I wasn't really looking for like duct tape as my license plate, you know, for that one. And man, me and my wife, Jocelyn, she was an elementary school librarian and we were just going on about our normal life as teachers. And I was on that railroad track to retirement. You don't need a license plate on the back of the train.

[00:02:01] Shane Sams: So like we were doing that. We were going through life and going through the motions and just like most parents, I had to put my kids in daycare so that I could go to work during the day. And I found, and we had a horrible situation happened where we found out a lady at my son's daycare was mistreating him horrifically.

[00:02:19] Shane Sams: It wasn't sexual or anything like that. It was more psychological. When he would have potty training accidents, she would lock him in a basket. For hours at a time. Yeah, it was unbelievable. And there's a whole bunch of other horrific things that came out of that situation. It was in the newspaper.

[00:02:32] Shane Sams: One of the people eventually went to jail. So it's just a really bad situation. But specifically what rocked my world was I went to my employer. I didn't have anywhere to put my son that day. So I took him to my daughter's daycare, which was only for kids two and under, and she's like, you gotta come back. I love Isaac. I kept him when he was a baby, but you got to come back. I can't keep him.

[00:02:51] Shane Sams: So I went to work and asked for the day off and it was too late to get a sub. And I said, will you please watch my room for me asking the assistant principal? And she told me, no, she said, you're going to have to handle your personal problems after work mr. Sams, I know your son needs you, but your job needs you too. That's what she said to me. So I left gotten really, I got in trouble, I had a write up for leaving my duty. Cause the teachers a weird job, like you gotta be there. I mean, there's kids in your room. There's they're juniors in high school.

[00:03:19] Shane Sams: They're gonna burn down the building if you don't hang onto the control of the room. Right. And but I promised myself on that day that I would find a way to become and stay self-employed. I would find a way to make my own living where nobody could ever tell me I couldn't be there for my family again. So I go on to do research for months and trying all kinds of things like trying to make money online, trying to make money elsewhere.

[00:03:43] Shane Sams: And finally, my wife and I discover online business. We discover that you can create digital products, you can build communities around those products and you can go out and get hundreds of people to pay you $50 a month every single month. And you can make money on the internet by sharing experiences, wisdom, teaching people how to do things.

[00:04:02] Shane Sams: And so she started selling lesson plans about you know, Li library, lesson plans. So librarians wouldn't have to plan lessons at home. I started, I was a football coach. I didn't know anything. So I started selling playbooks. Right. And I had all these people from all over the country, started running my playbooks on Friday night.

[00:04:16] Shane Sams: And I'm like, I'm not Nick Saban. I'm not, I'm okay as a coach, but I made a good playbook. So people bought it and it was crazy when we launched, it was like, we made like $2,000 in something in the first month when it was like, wow, that's almost one of our salaries. And then the next month was 3,500 and then 5,000.

[00:04:33] Shane Sams: And then in July of 2013 was 15,000 in one month. And then in August was 36,000 in one month. And I was like, Jocelyn, we got to quit our jobs. We have to do this. So this is I'm getting there. I promise. So we quit. We go in, we quit our jobs. Now I'm from a small town in Kentucky word spread like wildfire that Shane and Jocelyn resigned on the same day.

[00:04:55] Shane Sams: And everybody was freaking out. They were like, are you all okay? Are you getting divorced? Are you moving away? And like, or, Hey, did Shane do something illegal? Is he going to jail? Like all these questions, like my mom asked me if I was a drug dealer, at least twice. It got so bad. Like the month after we made all that money, the big, the big month that convinced us to quit our jobs.

[00:05:17] Shane Sams: We went and saw Jocelyn's grandfather out in Muhlenberg county, Kentucky. And he shook my hand when we were leaving like an old coal miner. Does, you know, shakes your hand from, I looked down, there was a $20 bill in it and I was like, I looked up at him and go sign. I know you're not working right now. So there's some gas money to get you home.

[00:05:33] Shane Sams: And I'm like, I made more money last month than I made last year, grandpa, like, what are you talking about? So all this is happening. And at about the same time that all these questions are getting asked, like, what are we doing? What are we doing? One of Jocelyn's friends said, Hey, what are you guys doing now?

[00:05:50] Shane Sams: Can I do. I have a dream to stay home and homeschool my daughter. Could you show me how to make money online? Like you guys are doing? And Jocelyn was like, yeah, you're my friend. Of course. So Jocelyn helps her within a few months, make enough money to quit her job. Right. And she's not been back to work since she homeschooled her kids.

[00:06:08] Shane Sams: It changed their family's life. And at that point, I looked at Jocelyn and said, Hey, if we did this and we built multiple companies with this method, and Lindsay did that by following our instructions, we could probably help a lot of people do that. We should tell people what we figured out. And we, we had kind of thrown the idea around of like having a podcast.

[00:06:31] Shane Sams: Well, my mom, the Southern mama, that she is an angry at her son for giving up that good job. She cornered me in her kitchen. One day I was, she's got one in old school kitchens. It kind of turns the corner and I was in the fridge. And when I shut the door, boom, there was, mom's standing there finger already in my face, dressed up.

[00:06:48] Shane Sams: And she said, Shane sands, you. Lost your mind. You have flipped out sign. You had a great job. You had insurance, you had retirement, you've got babies. You got a wife. I can't believe you've done something so irresponsible and I got in the car as we were going home. I'm Jocelyn. I were talking, I was telling her what my mom did and it just hit me.

[00:07:07] Shane Sams: You flipped. You've lost your mind. And I was like, Jocelyn, I think I know the, I think I know the name of our podcast. So we started this podcast, but when we live in the flipped lifestyle, everybody else goes to the nine to five. Everybody else just does what their boss tells them. Everybody else puts their work first and their family second, we're going to flip that upside down, flipped lifestyle, baby, and we're going to live it and breathe it. So we named the podcast Flipped Lifestyle. It really took off like we started getting just massive following on the internet. People were just loving our message of getting up and taking your kids to school before you go to work and picking them up at three o'clock and doing all these things and Flipped Lifestyle kind of took a life of its own.

[00:07:44] Shane Sams: So as, as we built this brand, we started selling the older companies, right. So we could devote all of our time to this mission. And then I looked up one day and I was like, Jocelyn, we can afford this. It's a hundred grand. Let's go buy that navigator. That's all, it's got massage seats and heat. Let's go do this.

[00:08:02] Shane Sams: I wait. I used to drive a car with duct tape on it, to work, man. This one will run and it has no duct tape anywhere to be seen. And we bought it. And when we, and we said, Hey, let's get a personalized license plate. What do you want? Cause we're like, Flipped Lifestyle, Yall. So we put that on the back of it.

[00:08:17] Shane Sams: And that's what we've had ever since man. And that's like, we just drive that around and you wouldn't believe the conversations that opens up and lets me explain kind of what we do to people. But that's, that's the longest nutshell version of why I have that license plate.

[00:08:31] Trista Polo: Wow. Well, you know, I have to ask what I think is maybe like on the minds of the people that heard this story, how's your son doing?

[00:08:38] Shane Sams: You know, it's funny. It was really, really hard for a few years. Like he had a lot of problems, like he developed a really bad fear of going to the bathroom and he would withhold it. Right. So he actually damaged his colon a little bit and it like, it took us years for that to heal up. And he had a condition called encopresis, which basically is like, you can't you're, you can't really feel the muscles in your colon, so you can have accidents longer than most kids would have accidents.

[00:09:04] Shane Sams: That was a big, we had doctors and physical stuff and he did really, really good. There's definitely still emotional stuff, you know, but we, we have, we have great resources. We go to counseling monthly and Isaac right now is the most well-adjusted kindest, most beautiful spirit on the face of it. Like I tell him every day you are already so much of a better person than I will ever be that I can't even believe it.

[00:09:29] Shane Sams: So, you know, he just a great kid. He we've overcome all of those things. Thank God it wasn't a physical beating or sexual or anything like that. It was, it was stuff that we can attack together in his mind. And there's good days and bad days, they'll, there'll be not gonna be nights. He wakes up and comes and gets in bed with us even still, but you know, most 99% of time, he's just crushing it.

[00:09:48] Shane Sams: So he's awesome.

[00:09:49] Trista Polo: That's awesome. And how long ago did all of this like happen? How long has it been?

[00:09:55] Shane Sams: He was about, he was three ish. He was about three and a half when all this happened. So he's 12 now. And so we we've spent a lot of time, a lot of energy, a lot of talking, a lot of, you know, you know, and also too, like I always want to stress,

[00:10:08] Shane Sams: like I don't ever, I don't have any hate or resentment for anybody about bad situations. I think bad situations are just going to happen to us. This was not a thing that we could have foreseen, like this place was actually, she used to be owned by this amazing woman who was more grandmother to the town.

[00:10:25] Shane Sams: Then she was daycare runner. Right. And she just happened to retire. She happened to sell it to somebody else and they happened to make a bad hire that's this was just a factual thing. Right. And the experience of going through negative things to me always makes you who you are. And I think we're a better family because of this experience.

[00:10:43] Shane Sams: I think I understand more about my emotions, me needing counseling and my wife needing counseling. And everybody needs somebody to kind of help them through the hard parts of life. So I actually think of it as you know, I try to, it's a blessing, this is something that happened it's nobody's fault, but you know what, we're going to turn it into the best possible thing we can.

[00:11:02] Trista Polo: beautiful that you took something bad in life and you turned it around and you had it really inspire you to change your whole life.

[00:11:13] Trista Polo: And now how many people have been impacted positively as a result. So do you know how many people you've helped with this process to kind of follow

[00:11:23] Shane Sams: in your footsteps and over 4,000 people come through our community, right. And go through now, it's hard to gauge what the impact is, but we have hundreds of stories.

[00:11:32] Shane Sams: Like I think we have something like 1200 collected stories that people have sent us of. I did this, I did that. And we've got people it's crazy. How far a ripple can go when you take something and you put it out into the world, right? Like, I'm sure you were like, when you thought of this podcast, you're like, is anybody going to listen to this?

[00:11:49] Shane Sams: And you're like, they do, they live with it. It's amazing. Right. And we thought that too, we thought, well, we'll help a few people. It'll be incredible. But like So while I wish it hadn't have happened, I think we've made the absolute best of it. We could.

[00:12:00] Trista Polo: Yeah. I mean, the fact that I'm glad to hear he's doing well. That's awesome. And. The fact that it created this spark, like how many people's lives are better

[00:12:16] Shane Sams: are freer are

[00:12:19] Trista Polo: flipped or, you know, so I, I mean, I agree with you, like bad things happen.

[00:12:25] Trista Polo: I have a sign on my office. Every storm runs out of rain just to remind myself

[00:12:32] Shane Sams: that I never heard that before. That is

[00:12:34] Trista Polo: a great, oh, there you go. Yeah, that's a good one. And it just, it's a reminder, like, no matter how bad it gets, there's, you know, the sun will shine again. And what are we going to do with the lessons we've learned from the things we've gone through?

[00:12:47] Shane Sams: He doesn't even remember it. No, but the scars are deep. Like he doesn't know why he's scared or has a panic attack sometimes. Right? Yeah. But like, but it's like, he doesn't, we've told him about it and we just said, Hey, this, this is something that happened. Let's just deal with it.

[00:13:00] Shane Sams: Yeah. Well, I'm

[00:13:01] Trista Polo: glad he doesn't have a memory of it. I'm sorry. He's still having residual stuff, but it's good. He doesn't relive it in his mind. Cause that would be a whole nother level.

[00:13:10] Shane Sams: There's this awesome story. I love this quote from mother Teresa. She was being interviewed by this knucklehead reporter who was really cynical.

[00:13:18] Shane Sams: He didn't like her for some reason. And he was like, listen, you're this nun in the middle of nowhere. Like, do you really think you can change the world? And she said, no, But I can pick up my stone and cast it out upon the waters and cause many ripples.

[00:13:33] Shane Sams: And that's like my favorite thing about flipped lifestyle. Like we see that we go out and get people and help them start these membership communities. That's what we really focus on. And then they, you know, we have hundreds of people in our community, but then that person will branch off and they'll go help hundreds of people in their community.

[00:13:49] Shane Sams: Like we've got this lady named Rebecca Dekker, she's from Kentucky too. And she came into our community and she was like, I'm a nurse, I'm a nurse. I was a professor in college and I had a horrific birth experience with my first child. And I don't want any woman to ever have to go through this again. And I have the training to help them.

[00:14:06] Shane Sams: Do you think this would work? And they're like, how, why do you want to turn that into a membership? She said, I want to help nurses doulas and midwives and train them correctly so that the people they serve will have great birth experiences, healthy birth experiences. And we're like, amazing. Let's do it.

[00:14:23] Shane Sams: So we help her to build our membership. We help her build her. She goes out and launches, and now she's helping hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of nurses, doulas, midwives, hospitals. And I can't imagine the thousands and thousands of births every year that just her coming to Flipped Lifestyle, her starting her thing.

[00:14:43] Shane Sams: And that ripple is going like far and wide. And I have a website. I have another website that I still have. It's called U S history teachers.com. And it's like a membership for lesson plans in history teachers. Right. And I figured it out when. That something like a hundred thousand students have been taught history with the lesson plans that we created in that website.

[00:15:03] Shane Sams: Like, that's crazy to think about it that you've dropped hundreds of classroom teachers and then thousands of kids have literally sat there and listened to your exact words that you put on paper. So that that's really what we're here for. That's why we sold our other businesses because we wanted to just go all in and keep throwing our stone.

[00:15:22] Shane Sams: Every time someone joins my membership, I'm like, that's a stone. Let's pick it up. Let's throw it. Let's see how big the ripple is. And the ripple is not always like educating children and birthing babies. Like there's this guy out in there's this guy out in San Diego, his name is Kenny Triano and he has a website and a podcast calledBred to Perfection. And it's all about raising chickens in your backyard. And it's just like, people like to do that. It's meditative. It helps them. They're taking care of something and that's what he loves to do. He loves chickens. He loves to take care of chickens and he loves to help people take care of their chickens.

[00:15:52] Shane Sams: But that's still a ripple man. What kind of he's he's helping people calm down. He's helping people distress. He's helping people be sustainable. And that's what I love most about what we do really.

[00:16:02] Trista Polo: That's awesome. I love that. Now I wanted to ask you about your shirt because you can see a little bit of it in the video.

[00:16:10] Trista Polo: Can you tell me, okay, so a hundred times now I've heard this. All you got to do is get a hundred people to give you 50 bucks a month, because then you're making five K a year. No problem. That sounds too easy. Now I get what you're saying. I get what you're saying. Like find a, an idea that you do that other people would want to duplicate.

[00:16:33] Trista Polo: And I love that. You're saying it doesn't have to be fancy or smart, even really just something that lazy people will use it instead of making their own.

[00:16:44] Shane Sams: That's not bad. That's not a bad way to say. I don't think I'd articulate it just like that. You know what I'm saying? But that's about right.

[00:16:51] Trista Polo: But the fact that somebody is going to take something that other people made like your football playbook or, you know, the lesson plans, just to have one less thing to have to do. That's right. That seems pretty simple. To be able to come up with an idea to find something people want to have somebody else do all the work.

[00:17:12] Shane Sams: Yeah. We hear this all the time. Cause it it's funny when I put this in an ad or something or I post this formula, cause this is kind of like my, one of my catch phrase things, you know, it's like, oh, you need a hundred people, $50 a month, 5,000 a month, 60,000 a year.

[00:17:24] Shane Sams: You make a living on that now. And like people laugh and that's the number one thing they'll get like scammer, you're a scammer MLM or whatever. That's when I get attacked. Cause then I do this, which I kind of bait them because I want them to do it for the engagement. But, but like where that came from was actually right before we really started going all in on online business.

[00:17:44] Shane Sams: You know, I was desperate after I wanted to quit my job. I just couldn't take it anymore. And. We were driving to see a Jocely's parents. They live in a different town and we were out on the highway and she was driving and I was in the passenger side and I was like, man, I can't figure out how to make money.

[00:18:02] Shane Sams: I just don't know how to do this. I know that you're supposed to get a job. Someone gives you a salary, but I don't know how you do it, like on your own. And I don't know what made me think about this Trista. I really don't. I looked, I was looking out the window, trees just flying by and it just hit me. And I looked over at Jocelyn, said, Hey, I got to ask you something.

[00:18:19] Shane Sams: She goes, what I said, what if we could get a hundred people to just send us $50? She kind of looked out of the corner of her eye. Like I was crazy and she goes to church

[00:18:33] Shane Sams: what is this? And and I said, well, think about it. I was like, there's 7 billion people on the planet. And I know that like 4 billion of them right now can get on the internet. You know, there's gotta be something that I can put out there that someone would give me $50 for. And that would replace our salary.

[00:18:50] Shane Sams: Like at the time I made like 2,500 bucks a month, she made like 2,500 bucks a month. You take that together. And his five. So that was why five grand was on my thing. Later I would learn that like the median income of the United States is like 60,000 or something. So this is like a middle-class living.

[00:19:04] Shane Sams: I mean, this isn't a joke. Like this is like, you can live on this. And I was like, I wonder how can I get a hundred people to get me for dollar? She goes, yeah, I don't think you can do that. It's like, I don't know. I've never heard of anything like that before. And I was like, okay, well I said it. So I bet there's a way, if you could say it out loud, it's probably true.

[00:19:18] Shane Sams: So I started looking for a way to do this. One day I was mowing my grass. And I was listening to a podcast. Now this is back in 2012, before podcasts were what podcasts are right now. There were not a ton of podcasts in any of the categories and the ones that were there had only been out like a year or two.

[00:19:36] Shane Sams: There wasn't like a ton of shows. And a podcast that I found was called the Smart Passive Income Podcast. And this guy was talking about making money on the internet. And I was like, oh, this is interesting. How does he do it? So he was an architect and he lost his job, but he had a blog that he had been doing for years about his studying for the architecture licensing exam.

[00:19:59] Shane Sams: And he's like, I thought, Hey, what if I realized people were listening or reading my blog and signing up for my email list? So what if I tried to sell them? My study guide that I made for myself, this is a PDF like this wasn't anything fancy. So he put a PayPal button on his page. He said, if you give me 50 bucks, it was like 47, 47, 49.

[00:20:19] Shane Sams: If you gave me 50 bucks, I'll send you this PDF. And he made $9,000. And I about stroked out on top of that lawnmower or pushed it off the hill. I jumped off the lawnmower and ran inside and kicked in the door and told Jocelyn. I figured it out. This is how we can get a hundred people to give us $50. He made a digital thing that he emailed to people and, and it solved their problem.

[00:20:42] Shane Sams: Why can't we do that? Why can't we do that? And so we looked at the things that we could create. There was a lot of failure in between this story and actually succeeding by the way. I just want to make sure everybody knows that. But fast forward, what happened was we realized teachers hated planning lessons in the afternoon.

[00:20:59] Shane Sams: They just wanted to show up and teach and go home to their family. So if we could create bell-to-bell instruction for them for all 185 days of the school year, they could put their classroom on autopilot. They could do what they were hired to do, teach the material, and then they could go home at three o'clock.

[00:21:16] Shane Sams: They could eat dinner with their kids. They could take their children to practice and we could remove their stress. So it wasn't like we just made up, we just did what we already knew, lesson plans and we, and we, and we solved a problem for people. They didn't have time in the evenings cause they were spending three hours to do that. We just solved that problem. Football coaches are had a weird problem. Like everybody looks at the big coaches like Nick Saban and Bill Belichick and all these people, right? And these guys go around these speaking clinics and they say, oh, you just do this and you'll win every game. Well, the problem is those guys have six foot five guys that run Olympic sprinter times a high school coach can't win like that.

[00:21:52] Shane Sams: And I, as a high school coach have been through the ups and downs. Like I was, oh and ten one year as a head football coach, but I've also been able to took a team to the playoffs, whatever I knew, what it really took to play defense with average kids. And I also knew that half the football coaches every week lose think about it every week, every Friday, half of them lose right.

[00:22:14] Shane Sams: Half those dudes are going home miserable and getting up miserable on Saturday morning and they're losing their weekend. So that's how I sold it. I was like, look, I've won with average players, I've turned around pro two programs. I want you to. To look at my defense because they're like your kids and I, and I want to help you go home happy more Friday nights than not.

[00:22:34] Shane Sams: So you can wake up and enjoy your kids' sports on Saturday. And you're not thinking about the game before, and that really resonated with people because we solved that problem. It's you're getting up and you're getting your weekends back. Right? So when you, when you look at these things, a lot of people you hear about an online business.

[00:22:50] Shane Sams: They're there, you know, the guys that are on their Instagram laying on their Lamborghini that they rented, or they're there in their mansion, which is really an Airbnb that they bring in for the weekend. Yeah. Yeah. That's not what we're saying. Like you don't, don't, don't chase your passions. My passion is walking on a beach in Mexico.

[00:23:03] Shane Sams: I love to go to Mexico. It's I'm passionate about walking down that beach. Nobody's paying me to walk down the beach and doing my passion. What you focus on are your God-given talents, your God-given experiences and the wisdom you've picked up along the way you package that into an online product. And you reach back to people who are chapter two behind you and you pull them forward.

[00:23:23] Shane Sams: And then when you do that, the reason they will pay you every single month, not just one time for that digital product is because you also build a community around these things, right? Like we built the elementary librarian, community, lonely librarians, the only one in the school. Oh, now you can hang out with hundreds of librarians in this Facebook group, football coaches who run this specific defense and hate other defense.

[00:23:43] Shane Sams: Come over here and hang out in our community forums. And let's talk about what happened and your game plan chickens. You love chickens, come over here and talk to all the other people that love chickens. Cause everybody else in your family thinks you're crazy for having chickens. And it just goes on and on and on nurses do as they go together, podcasters, they go together.

[00:23:59] Shane Sams: So if you can create some curated content, a nice, easy path that people can just follow instead of Googling and YouTube thing, and then you build community around it and then you provide leadership. You gotta be the leader of the community. It doesn't mean you're like Tony Robbins up on stage clapping, but it's like, Hey, you're providing structure and opportunities for these people.

[00:24:17] Shane Sams: They'll pay you month after month, year after year. And you can build a stable, steady recurring revenue, and you only need like a couple hundred people to make a really, really, really solid living through this.

[00:24:29] Trista Polo: Well, you make it sound so easy. I know because

[00:24:32] Shane Sams: it's simple. It's not easy. There's a lot of work involved.

[00:24:34] Shane Sams: You got to pick up the shovel and dig, but it's not real complicated to know you want to hold. Right. So that the concepts are simple, but of course there's work and you've got to have a learning curve and figure things out, but we've seen it. I mean, I've seen, I've seen the crazy, there's this lady up in North Dakota and she needs a license plate needs to say like sheep or something.

[00:24:54] Shane Sams: And like she said, she she's in North Dakota. Her name is Teresa Perleberg. I think it's bear mountain felting and drop her a link there. (https://bearcreekfelting.com/) But she came to us and was like, I make Teddy bears out of sheep wool, and I'm not cool. How do you do it? She's like this thing called needle felting. It's kind of like yarn.

[00:25:12] Shane Sams: What is it called when you yarn? When you got the sticks, crochet, it's kinda like that, but it's called needle. And I'm like, okay. She goes, that's not all keep going. She goes, I actually raised the sheep, shaved them, dye the wool, and then turn it into this thing. And I want to start a membership for other sheep sharing enthusiasts who wants to shave their own sheep and do their own wool and make their own stuffed animals.

[00:25:35] Shane Sams: And I'm going to give them courses. That's very niche niche as it gets. I'm like, okay, sure. Are there other people that like this? And she's like, oh yeah. There's people that do this. It's like a cottage thing. Right. It's like scrapbooking or something. I'm like, all right, whatever. So she starts building this thing and we get her content.

[00:25:53] Shane Sams: It's like how to make a giraffe, how to make an elephant, how to make a whatever. And I'm like, okay, that looks good. And then like, so she's got her community set up. It's like a Facebook group or forum or something. And then she's going to do these member calls where she teaches people like alive technique.

[00:26:05] Shane Sams: Right. And they come and ask questions. It explodes. She has like over 400 members for this thing and it just keeps growing and it got so big that she started like supplying the wool for people, partnered with another sheep herder in North Dakota so that they can have enough sheep wool to send out to members.

[00:26:23] Shane Sams: So now they have like, And it gets crazier. She bought like

[00:26:27] Trista Polo: a monthly

[00:26:27] Shane Sams: subscription box, but it was a monthly course first with a community. But then the demand was so high for the wool. Like people couldn't keep up with their own, like they couldn't sheer their sheep fast enough. So she started like processing and having a little box of kits that she could send out right each month.

[00:26:43] Shane Sams: And then they bought an old elementary school that was abandoned and they bought the school like a school. So the gym is going to be their conference center. They've turned the rooms into like classrooms and little Airbnb bread and breakfast kind of things.

[00:27:03] Shane Sams: and you can pet her sheep and you can like do a conference. It's unbelievable. It's out. It's so mind boggling. That's one of my favorite stories because Teresa one is just a, just a go getter. Right? Nothing complicated about anything she does. It's just videos and hanging out. But she's just, like she said, I'm going to do this.

[00:27:21] Shane Sams: I love this. I'm going to do it. Or Instagram's full of pictures with her sheep. And so it's, you know, and she just goes out and built this huge community of sheep, shearing needle, felting enthusiasts. So right.

[00:27:33] Trista Polo: Her hobby into a membership-based passive. Passive residual

[00:27:39] Shane Sams: what pat, when I say

[00:27:41] Trista Polo: call this kind of

[00:27:42] Shane Sams: income.

[00:27:43] Shane Sams: Yeah. I don't believe in passive income. I think that word is kind of overused. All money must be managed, right? But what you can do is you can create a presence in the world that can go, it can be open 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year. You don't have to pay attention a lot to it. You need to spend a couple hours a day on it, probably to make sure that your members are getting served and that you're talking to people you're leading doing some marketing, but you can also be like, oh, but I can also pick up my kid at three o'clock.

[00:28:13] Shane Sams: I can also go to my kid's ball game or sit at practice and watch them practice. And I know my business is still running. You know, I'll send an email this morning before we got on this podcast. I know that's getting people ready for my next webinar right now. I'm going to, I'm going to get off this call and they'll probably be 20.

[00:28:27] Shane Sams: Signed up for a webinar or something, right? Like you can do things and let the wheels turn kind of like while you live your life. So this is like how you achieve work-life balance. And work-life harmony. There's no such thing as passive income where you're like, I have made one blog post that went viral and now I have this product and everyone buys it forever.

[00:28:45] Shane Sams: And if anyone tells you that they're lying, I know half of them and have called them out. Right. So like, it's just not true. It's not true.

[00:28:53] Trista Polo: I do know someone who created a passive income business. He's I know him through the podcast and he created something where he licensed it.

[00:29:05] Trista Polo: And so they, so like, like he owns like a franchise thing and everybody paid. Just

[00:29:13] Shane Sams: gets money every day. What I would, that is awesome. That's those are great stories. Like it's the shark tank syndrome, right? Like, that's great. But if you create something that's, licensable in an industry that's rare.

[00:29:25] Shane Sams: That's really, really rare. It's really hard. You know, you're talking 1% of, 1% of people actually create something that's broad enough to go. Wow, that's so good. We're going to license it everywhere. You know? So like, that's cool. If you have a goal and you think you have an idea, good enough thing go. And what's funny is these kinds of businesses like these online memberships and things are what you can't get to the licensing thing until you've done the whole, the work at the other level.

[00:29:51] Shane Sams: So like there's steps to get to that licensing and that royalty it's like we hear like Facebook bought Instagram for a billion. Well, Facebook's only done that a few times. It's not like they're doing that. There's a unicorn popping up every week. So I love the dream. I love the goal, but I'm telling you right now, if you just want to make a great living and you want to spend more time with your kids and family, this is the, this is the way you get to that point, even if that's your goal.

[00:30:14] Trista Polo: Yeah. That makes a lot of sense. Now you mentioned something really briefly that there were a lot of. Failures between 2012. And when you got that $36,000 in one month, can you share a couple of the failure stories that really taught you lessons that helped you fail forward? Cause I know so many people are scared of failure, but you gotta be willing to fail to succeed.

[00:30:38] Shane Sams: Oh, I, I hate days I don't fail because like, if I don't fail at something today, I didn't learn anything. And I'm just going to be stagnant in about two weeks, you know? So you got to look for those problems where you screw up so you can get better, you know? But I, I started out, I was all by myself trying to figure all this stuff out and it wasn't like now, like now you can get a platform and you can have like a website and email marketing and sales funnels and all that stuff it's just there in a box.

[00:31:01] Shane Sams: But back then, man, I did not have code. I didn't know how to build a website.I don't know how to do anything. So at the first websites I tried to build every one of them crashed. I didn't have enough money to do anything.

[00:31:10] Shane Sams: Right. So I had to keep selling stuff. I was having yard sales every weekend and Jocelyn starting to look around the house. What are you doing? And I'm like, I'm going to rent the kids stuff. Like somebody will take them for $20. I promise it. Right. And like, it was just crazy. Cause every I would, I would buy these courses and they were just hopeful of bad information.

[00:31:28] Shane Sams: Like everything I tried would fail. So I had a website, one was called Toddler Apocalypse, and I thought I would be a dad blogger. I thought I'm going to be a dad blogger, man. I'm funny. I'll kind of say funny things. Sometimes I'll take pictures of my kids doing stupid stuff. And I actually got a little audience traction, but like there was no way to make money with it.

[00:31:45] Shane Sams: I just didn't know. I put ads on it, like Google ads and stuff and nobody clicked anything. Nobody cared. Right. So that was a total abject disaster. Then I think one of our sites got hacked because I didn't know you were supposed to have like a good password at the time. So my password was probably like password or something and somebody 1, 2, 3, 4, 1, 2, 3, 4.

[00:32:04] Shane Sams: When we got hacked, it was ridiculous. It was like a bot hijacked our WordPress account for something. So that was terrible. And of course, like nothing I did made money like months and months. And my wife was looking at me going, what are you doing, man?

[00:32:18] Shane Sams: You're spending all your time on this. You're spending all our money on this, like you. And she was saying things like, I think we should stop this. Like we need to figure this out. You know, we need there's other ways to do this, but I was really determined not to fail. And I almost gave up, I really did almost quit.

[00:32:32] Shane Sams: I remember the night that almost quit, I was laying in bed and I was totally depressed. Like, have you ever been like, like so depressed, you lay in your bed with your computer on your chest and you're like, you don't, you just get rid of your pillow and you're just like this, and you're trying to like move the mouse with your chin.

[00:32:47] Shane Sams: Like, that was the level of sad that I was at this moment. Like I was just done. And I was looking at my Google analytics on a, it was actually my first history site. I had started creating worksheets and I was trying to give them away for free. And and then I would hope that that the teachers would click ads.

[00:33:03] Shane Sams: Right. But the problem was like, I had no content, I wasn't typing any content. I was just putting a downloadable link and then surrounding it was spam. Basically. It was stupid. And but nothing was happening. Made no money. I shut my computer, threw it off my chest. So disgusted and Jocelyn was up late reading a book and I just went in the bathroom and it was about, it was just depressed.

[00:33:25] Shane Sams: And I remember, I didn't even turn the light on when I went into the bathroom, I just stood there, brushing my teeth in the dark with like a little bit of light coming from the bedroom. And I just said a prayer. I was just like, God, is this like, are these people scammers? Is this real? Like, is anything actually happening because I've really not made any money on this.

[00:33:44] Shane Sams: And I have tried, I've worked really, really hard and just give me a sign. I don't care either direction if I go back to work and I retired I'm 62. So be it. But I'm just sick of this. I'm done. And right before I went to. I picked up my computer, I was gonna move out of the way. And I was like, I'm I'm going to get back on here because you know how it goes when you're like looking at your analytics, like your podcast, download your stuff.

[00:34:05] Shane Sams: And you're like, ah, one more time. Let's hit refresh and see what happens. So I opened my computer and I hit refresh. And whereas zero had been there before. There was 11 cents in my ad account, like someone had literally clicked an ad and I had made 11 cents on my business. This is a dime and a penny. This is couch cushion money.

[00:34:26] Shane Sams: I'm not saying this is millions of dollars, but I treated it like that. I was so excited. I had so much failure and it's so much struggle to even get content into the world up to this point. But what I put out had sent money back and I showed it to my wife, Jocelyn. I said, look at this all we've been through everything I've done.

[00:34:46] Shane Sams: It's real. You can, you can make content, you can try to serve people. And as sooner or later it's going to make some kind of money. And what if that was a million pennies? What if it was a million dimes? We just got to get more people to see this. And that's when she got on board, started elementary librarian and we had all the failures of that first six to eight months led to us ramping up the real business in two months because we had learned all the lessons.

[00:35:09] Shane Sams: I knew how to build a site. I knew what to avoid. I knew all the problems and the success that we had in the one in the swing that did hit the home run would not have been possible without all the strikeouts in the months before. So that that's kind of like where failure leads you. If you just keep swinging and eventually you're going to see the dime, then the nickel, then the quarter and then the dollar, and then the $2,000.

[00:35:31] Shane Sams: And then all of a sudden you look up and you've replaced your income and you flipped your life. So, yeah, that's

[00:35:37] Trista Polo: awesome. That's really great. So your life now, how does it look compared to those early days?

[00:35:46] Shane Sams: It's really different. So

[00:35:53] Shane Sams: flip side, that's the other side of the so let me, let me tell you about a couple of sacrifices that we made in the beginning, you know, and then I'll lead to how that shapes what we do now. So of course the most important thing. I just have control of every minute of my day. Like I choose who I talked to when I talked to them, what I do every minute of every day, I choose to spend time with my kids in the morning, take them to school every day.

[00:36:17] Shane Sams: That's really important to me. We pick our kids up from school at three o'clock every day. Right. And we work around those times. So that's the coolest thing is like I went from a school teacher who literally can't go to the bathroom until the bell rings to having total control of my life. So that's the most important thing.

[00:36:32] Shane Sams: But there were other sacrifices that we made when we started out, like Jocelyn is a huge Olympic fan. My wife, she loves the Olympics and the, the summer that I wanted to go down this rabbit hole, the summer Olympics were coming out, but here's the problem. We needed a a hundred bucks for hosting and some plugins and some other things.

[00:36:50] Shane Sams: Our cable bill was about a hundred bucks at the time. So I said a hundred dollars. We needed a hundred bucks. That's all we needed, right? Because I needed to set up hosting by. I needed a course on email marketing and there was something else I needed a hundred bucks. I was like Jocelyn, if we cancel cable, you won't be able to watch the Olympics.

[00:37:08] Shane Sams: And this was before the Olympics were on the TV, the internet, this was TV was how you watched them. Right. And I was like, but maybe someday I'll be able to take you to the Olympics right out of the province. And we did, we canceled cable. It freed up time, freed up money. And we were able to build this thing.

[00:37:22] Shane Sams: Right. The second thing we did when we were about to quit our job, Jocelyn was not ready to quit. I talked her into it. I was like, if we're doing this part-time, what could we do? Full-time she's like one more year. I don't know, let's do it. But to set ourselves up to be prepared, to make that decision a few months before we resigned, we actually sold our house.

[00:37:40] Shane Sams: We had a 2,400 square foot house. I had an above ground pool. It was fancy. I'm telling you above ground pool. And it was, it was awesome though. We had a nice house, nice neighborhood, whatever. And we moved into this older house that was built in the thirties, remodeled in the seventies, needs updated kitchen, that kind of stuff.

[00:37:56] Shane Sams: Right. But it lowered our bills by like a thousand bucks a month to move into this house. So it freed up all that money to reinvest back in the business. Okay. So we go on, we do all the things that we do, right. Well, now I promise you I can go to the Olympics. I can go the Olympics if I want to we can do those things.

[00:38:12] Shane Sams: Like we travel all the time. We spend more than. This is, I don't want to, I don't like to say this cause it sounds un-humble but we, we actually spend more money on travel than we used to make as teachers now, because we just have the resources to do it. So we take advantage of it. And we actually just a few years ago bought a brand new house.

[00:38:30] Shane Sams: It's it's exactly double the size of the house that we used to live in. It's 4,800 square feet. And we have, we have 40 acres out in the middle of Kentucky and we have a private lake. We can ride jet-skis on, like we own the lake. Like it sits behind our house. It's surrounded by our land. And it's our, lake my, my kids fish on it.

[00:38:46] Shane Sams: We ride tubes on it and it's kind of silly. Like when I say it out loud, I still don't understand how these words are coming out of my mouth because it's so different than what we had before, because we didn't have this broad reach of the internet. I can, I have customers in every state of the union. We have customers all over the world and that produces an awesome amount of income and also a matter of freedom.

[00:39:08] Shane Sams: So, you know, I, this was

[00:39:11] Trista Polo: an awesome amount of value. That's

[00:39:13] Shane Sams: right. There's awesome. Value. People will pay you forever. If you can have. You know. Yeah. So we, we provide the value, they give value back and it's just, it's kind of silly. Not, I don't want anybody out there to think our life is not full of problems.

[00:39:25] Shane Sams: I got the same I'm ha I still got to have those same conversations with my kids that are uncomfortable. Cause some knuckleheads said something at school. My kids still act up. Me and my wife still have disagreements. Nothing really changes except kind of like the time and the things you have to deal with it.

[00:39:39] Shane Sams: Right. But what's really good with that time thing is you have so much more time to focus on your health, your mental health. You can go to counseling, you have the resources to do these things. So like, even though this wasn't our goal, right? Our goal was to quit our jobs and make a living. When, when you see what's possible, you can start setting new goals.

[00:39:58] Shane Sams: You can start going to the next level. And that's where we're at now. What can we do to make more of an impact, reach more people. And that's where we're investing our time and money in right now. And

[00:40:09] Trista Polo: has your family feel about, you know,

[00:40:12] Shane Sams: Well, my mom loves come over my house. Now she's not got me cornered in the bathroom no more.

[00:40:16] Shane Sams: Jr. She loves sitting on the back porch and hanging out. And I think it just took him a while to realize that we had it under control. Right. And it was, it was, it was kind of like you couldn't what was happening to us was so in comprehensible to us, we couldn't even possibly articulate it correctly to the people in our life, you know, but they got it.

[00:40:36] Shane Sams: They started understanding it. And I tell you what the podcast really helped because like my brothers and my family started listening to the podcast. They heard what we were doing for people. Cause that's my podcast. I interviewed my members of my community and I helped them with whatever they're struggling with.

[00:40:52] Shane Sams: That's the flipped lifestyle podcast. Yeah. I have a second podcast called membership masters, which is more as we started building more success stories, people wanted higher level content and we started drawing in higher level, like digital marketers and stuff.

[00:41:06] Shane Sams: And I know a lot of people really good guests. So like I started interviewing people, no friends, but the flipped lifestyle podcast is the main, main show. And once that was out there and people started seeing what was happening. Of course there was some problems. Like, I mean, we lost some friends, some people didn't understand, like I, I had a few of my friends that shockingly got really angry and ended the relationship.

[00:41:28] Shane Sams: And I don't know if it was like jealousy or they didn't like their choices compared to, I don't know what it was. Right. But like, it was, it caused some problems in some relationships, I mean, and changed some things. But 99% of the people are just happy for us and, you know, So that's good.

[00:41:47] Trista Polo: That's good. I think you're right.

[00:41:49] Trista Polo: That there are definitely people who can't stand to see others succeed because it just reminds them of what they are not doing. That brings up a question. I always like to ask, which is about self-worth. I have this philosophy that you cannot replace self-worth with hard work. So how has self-worth played a part in your rise to this level of success?

[00:42:17] Shane Sams: You know, it's interesting. I think I've got, I may have a different angle on this, right? Like when we, when you first start out in anything, you have a little bit of imposter syndrome, like when you started your first podcast, probably you're like, when I'm, when you're recording the first plate story, it's like, who's going to listen to me.

[00:42:31] Shane Sams: Like, I'm just, I'm not a radio DJ. I'm not Frasier crane on the Seattle airwaves. Right? Like, whatever, like, you know, you just don't think you can do it. And the funny thing is about the entrepreneurial journey in particular is imposter syndrome always comes back cause there's like always another level.

[00:42:48] Shane Sams: So when I, when we, when we quit our jobs, that was really amazing. And like we needed every ounce of confidence that we have built through our careers, through college, everything, to trust each other enough, to go out into the world and put herself out there. But then it was like, there was another, another tier, another level you got one, you got to keep it going, getting to the top of the mountain.

[00:43:06] Shane Sams: You got to stay there. Right. But then you want to go to a higher mountain peak. Really looking. We have to look a lot more internally. Now when we get the negativity, when we get the criticism, I get negative emails. I get hateful stuff every single day in my inbox from people who listen, right. It just happens.

[00:43:23] Shane Sams: And I have to understand that, you know, my worth is not based on that comment. Every it's internal, it comes from inside of me and it comes from my intentions. It comes from the actions that flow from those intentions. And I know that I'm trying to do my best. To help others and get to the next level of myself.

[00:43:42] Shane Sams: So that's where we really drawn to self-worth now is to fight imposter syndrome, fight the haters, fight, the trolls, fight the people who can't comprehend our mission. I don't have to convince you to make me have worth. I don't have to explain to you why I'm doing what I do to have worth. I just have to know that my intentions or my motivations are pure.

[00:44:01] Shane Sams: And then I'm being very intentional about how I manifest that out in the world. So you got to look inside. If you're going to pull that out, you know, if you're a religious person that comes flows from inside of you, like the holy spirit, if you're even if you're just someone who just like leads more confidence, it's got to come from in you because every time you put it in somebody else, you're going to lose. Every time. Somebody is going to burn you.

[00:44:21] Shane Sams: So that's why we draw on our self-worth is to overcome that.

[00:44:26] Trista Polo: I love that answer. And I think you're absolutely right that you have, it's almost like there's a ceiling at every level and you've gotta be willing to break through it. It's not like once you get to this spot, that there's not another level.

[00:44:40] Trista Polo: If you know, you have to get a new level of self-worth confidence belief that you can do it for every level of success you achieve, because you'll only get as far as you believe you deserve to get.

[00:44:55] Shane Sams: Another thing too, is like, we've actually had this new initiative in our company.

[00:44:58] Shane Sams: It's really interesting. And we're applying it to our life too. It's a very tactical approach. To doing things I changed, you know, something, you know, you have a job, your boss might tell you, well, your sales goals are to grow 3%. This good luck. If you don't do it, you're fired. Right? Like we're, we're, we're like, well, what are the actions that actually gets you to that?

[00:45:15] Shane Sams: Like, that's what we're measuring ourselves by. Did we take the actions necessary? And if we got there, great, if we didn't get there, we'll look at why and try and fix it. But like, you can't, you can't even put your self worth on the outcome. It's just gotta be like, are you being consistent? Are you being prolific?

[00:45:32] Shane Sams: Are you being relentless? And if you're doing those things, even if you fail, it's okay. Like you're, you're, everything's going to get better, but you don't have to put your worth in the outcome of the thing. Cause that also you're, you're going to fail more than you win. So don't even put it there. Just put it on the actions.

[00:45:48] Shane Sams: Here's the

[00:45:48] Trista Polo: saying, I love marry yourself to the process. Divorce yourself from the result.

[00:45:54] Shane Sams: Yes. Yes. So true. Very, very true. Yeah,

[00:45:57] Trista Polo: absolutely. Now I think you have a freebie for my listeners.

[00:46:02] Shane Sams: Yes, I have an awesome, awesome gift.

[00:46:05] Shane Sams: You know, I'd love to help any of your listeners who think they have an idea to start an online business, to actually find that idea, look at their God-given talents, experience, pick their idea of vet the idea to make sure that it's already making money online so they can get a piece of the pie and then choose the idea and take action on it.

[00:46:20] Shane Sams: And we do that with a free 30 day trial inside the flipped lifestyle community that gives you access to all of our training. All of our courses, all of our communities. You can hang out with me twice a month on member calls you can cancel any time. There's absolutely no commitment. And all they have to do is go to www.flippedlifestyle.com/platestory.

[00:46:38] Shane Sams: F L I P P E D. lifestyle.com/plate story. That's plate PLA T. And we will, we'll get them set up for a free trial and they can check it out. What we do if it's not for them, that's fine. If it is, we'll help them succeed.

[00:46:51] Trista Polo: That's a really good freebie.

[00:46:53] Shane Sams: We give all away. I got nothing to hide. I will come in and I will prove to you that we're legit.

[00:47:00] Shane Sams: Like you don't have to pay me anything up front, just come on in and you'll have so much fun. You'll probably stay.

[00:47:05] Trista Polo: I love it. Now I always like to flip the conversation and ask, if you have one question you'd like to ask me since I've been barraging you with questions this whole time. I got a good one

[00:47:18] Shane Sams: to ask. I got it. I just wanted to compliment you because you know, I do a lot of podcasts and I've had a lot of fun on the spot.

[00:47:25] Shane Sams: You were a good podcast or Trista, very good podcast. And I love plates story. But have you ever thought about launching at any other podcast or do you have any other shiny objects that you're like over on this, like, oh, I'd love to do a podcast about that. Like what would you, if you were going to start like another podcast or what would you do?

[00:47:44] Trista Polo: Oh my goodness. That's a great question. I will say I love the, I love talking the human interest interviews and really finding out, like, just talking to you, like what makes you tick?

[00:47:56] Trista Polo: What got you, where you are, how has it been for you? And you've been an amazing guest by the way, you are an amazing storyteller. You really listen to how people's minds work. Like not just what problem can I solve, but what are you dealing with that I can help you have a easier life. And I, I know that's part of why you guys have been so successful because you've really been able to tap into that.

[00:48:25] Trista Polo: So I wanted to acknowledge you both. And what you're creating for people, but I, I do love the entrepreneur. I love the failure stories. I love how you turn failure into success and what lessons you learned along the way from that. Kind of like zooming in, narrow down on one topic.

[00:48:48] Trista Polo: And so the failing your way forward, the turning adversity into success. And definitely that self-worth conversation. One of the reasons I haven't done it is time, but the other reason is there's so many podcasts out about that. And.

[00:49:06] Shane Sams: But they ain't hosted by Trista not hosting. That's the difference, right?

[00:49:11] Shane Sams: There's a lot of podcasts about what I talk about too, but you know what, they ain't me or they ain't you. I think you do a good job at it. I'm just

[00:49:18] Trista Polo: saying thank you. Thank you so much. I really appreciate you being here.

[00:49:23] Trista Polo: Any final words before we wrap up?

[00:49:25] Shane Sams: Yeah. Just, I can't imagine where my life would be right now. If I didn't try, you know, and that's really what I just encourage everybody. Like, you know, you're going to regret it if you don't eventually. So you might as well try it. And if it don't work, go back to what you were doing before.

[00:49:42] Shane Sams: And if it does good things are going to happen in your family and your future. So

[00:49:48] Trista Polo: I love it. And don't be afraid to fail because that will keep you from trying for sure. Thank you so much, Shane, for being with me today, I had a blast.

[00:50:00] Shane Sams: I had, this is the most, I've got a bunch of podcasts today, but I have no doubt.

[00:50:03] Shane Sams: This will be the most fun. So those other people got to lock. They got a hot bar, they got a high bar.

[00:50:09] Trista Polo: Awesome. Thanks so much.

[00:50:11] Shane Sams: Awesome. Bye

[00:50:12] Trista Polo: bye.

[00:50:13] Trista, Host: Thank you for joining us for this week's episode of Trista's PL8STORY podcast. Please subscribe to Trista's PL8STORY podcast to get the story behind all those vanity plates, driving with you on the road. And if you would like to nominate the owner of a license plate, including you... Or visit any of our partners and sponsors come and see us www.pl8story.com. That's P L number eight story.com and give us the details.

If you enjoyed this episode, please drop a review and give us a share. I'm Trista Polo wishing you well on the road to your next adventure.

Plate 67 - BRK AWY - Trista's Pl8STORY PODCAST

trista@iwokeupawesome.com (Trista Polo) — Mon, 04 Oct 2021 11:00:05 GMT

BRK AWY - PLATE 67 - TRITSA'S PL8STORY PODCAST

This week we meet Hockey Fan, Sonja Hall, from Maine. Sonja is a physical therapist assistant that moonlights as a freelance makeup artist and an aspiring fashion influencer. She comes from a family of big University of Maine Hockey fans, who all have matching black bear plates! Go Blue!

Connect with Sonja on Instagram:

@LasagnaSonja

@MakeupBySonjaHall

@AMaineEvent

Connect with Trista's PL8STORY Podcast:

- Nominate a plate - https://www.pl8story.com

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EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

BRK AWY

Welcome. I'm super excited today. I have the owner of the license plate BRK AWY it's Sonja Hall from Maine. Welcome Sonja. Hi. Hi, it's great to have you

[00:00:31] Sonja, BRK AWY: here. It's nice to be here

[00:00:33] Trista Polo: so tell me the story. Why did you choose that plate

[00:00:37] Sonja, BRK AWY: so I have a black bear plate, which is for university of Maine. And it's basically it's hockey themed. So it's, BRK AWY and that is a hockey term. It's a play in hockey and my family. We're huge MAINE hockey fans.

[00:00:54] Sonja, BRK AWY: And a couple of us actually have hockey related black bear PLATES. So that was just the one that I wanted.

[00:01:00] Trista Polo: I love it. Now, was that your first choice or did you have to go through a few iterations? I

[00:01:06] Sonja, BRK AWY: did. I had to go through a couple of different couple of different choices with the black bear plates.

[00:01:10] Sonja, BRK AWY: You only get six letters or numbers. So it was a little tricky. I wanted either power play or penalty box, but they were both taken. I couldn't get it to work with six letters, but I do love breakaways, so it definitely wasn't, you know, I wasn't settling.

[00:01:27] Trista Polo: Now I'm going to admit I do not follow hockey.

[00:01:30] Trista Polo: So you get to it. Give me some of your hockey passion and some education around it. What is breakaway? What is that term mean?

[00:01:38] Sonja, BRK AWY: Sure. So a breakaways basically you have, you know, the offense and the defense on the ice. The two sides, the two teams and a breakaway is when the defense of the other team is behind a player.

[00:01:49] Sonja, BRK AWY: And the player with the puck is in all alone against the goalie. So basically, you know, he's gotten past the defense or she has gotten past the defense and they have a wide open net with the goalie and they have more potential to score. There was no one that can block shots or kind of get in their way in front of the net.

[00:02:07] Sonja, BRK AWY: So. That's a great,

[00:02:09] Trista Polo: optimal place to be.

[00:02:13] Sonja, BRK AWY: And it's very exciting, you know, like the defense is really good and they're hard to get around. So when the puck goes around and they get in all alone, it's very exciting. And you know, it's just a great, great way to score.

[00:02:24] Trista Polo: Yeah. Now, what is the likelihood that they'll score once they get to that spot?

[00:02:30] Trista Polo: Cause they still have to deal with the goalie. Right?

[00:02:32] Sonja, BRK AWY: Right. Yeah. And it depends like if it depends on kind of where the ice they are when they get the breakaway if they're like at center ice and they have a lot of momentum going into it they have more of a chance because things are happening more quickly.

[00:02:45] Sonja, BRK AWY: If it's kinda like a half you know, ice break away, then maybe, they don't have as much time to set it up or think about it. But I mean, it all depends on the skill of the, of the player and then the skill of the goalie. So, you know, it kinda depends.

[00:02:59] Trista Polo: Okay. That makes sense. Yeah. Now hockey is known for the fights on the ice.

[00:03:05] Trista Polo: What do you like better the game itself, the fights, the strategy, like what do you love about the game?

[00:03:12] Sonja, BRK AWY: So when I first started going to hockey games, I went to ECHL hockey games, which is like minor league hockey. And they there's always fights going on like more than the NHL, but that was also a long time ago, too, like 20 years or so.

[00:03:28] Sonja, BRK AWY: And now the game has kind of moved away from fighting and more towards skill. So the fights still happen, but they're more it's more strategy. So they'll fight now, if they're behind and they want to like rile up the team, or if, you know, somebody, sometimes it's a vendetta thing. Like if you go after somebody's captain, you know, you might get fought by the tough guy on the team or something.

[00:03:50] Sonja, BRK AWY: But it's always exciting, but in college hockey, they're actually not allowed to fight. So when we go to mean games, you know, it's pretty rare to see anybody you know, punching or fighting, they get kicked out of the game. So I just, I really enjoy the atmosphere. I think.

[00:04:05] Trista Polo: And you go as a family, right?

[00:04:07] Trista Polo: Your whole family's into it.

[00:04:09] Sonja, BRK AWY: We do. Yeah. Mostly my sister, my sister and I have season tickets together. And then my aunt and uncle also have season tickets and we'll go with them from time to time. But a lot of times we bring my almost 85 year old grandmother and she gets such a kick out of it. She loves it too.

[00:04:24] Sonja, BRK AWY: So it's a family affair and we really like going, my dad does as well. When he comes to visit us, we'll take them to games and he's been going there since the early nineties. So.

[00:04:35] Trista Polo: Yeah, I, I'm not a huge sports person, but I have to say once in awhile we get tickets to the regional baseball team that's in our area. They're called the Renegades. And it's super fun because like you said, it's the atmosphere of the game itself. Like baseball's a pretty slow moving game. But the atmosphere, because it's a regional team, they do a lot for kids. They have games. The announcer's really great. And just being there is it's like a fun way to hang out with my husband.

[00:05:09] Trista Polo: So I love that appeal of it, even though I'm not a huge follower of the team or the sport. So I could see what yeah, I would.

[00:05:18] Sonja, BRK AWY: Yeah, I would totally agree with that. Like where Maine plays. It's called Alfond Arena and it's a very smaller arena. It's probably one of the smaller ones in all of college hockey, but like, The student section kind of like sits up on top of the opposing goalie and we have chants and songs and the band is really good.

[00:05:36] Sonja, BRK AWY: And like, they've been voted like number one atmosphere in college hockey multiple times. And it's just a really, it's just, I love going.

[00:05:46] Trista Polo: That's awesome. I love that. And I love that you bring your grandmother. You said she's 85.

[00:05:51] Sonja, BRK AWY: Yeah she gets a really big kick out of going.

[00:05:53] Sonja, BRK AWY: She she's gotten pictures with the mascot bananas and she, well, you know, eat the, the arena food and we've even taken her. We go on the road sometimes to see Maine play and we've taken her on road trips with us and she gets, she has a lot of.

[00:06:09] Trista Polo: That's really great.

[00:06:09] Sonja, BRK AWY: It's not how old you are about how old you feel. So just gotta like keep living life and, you know, age has just enough. You're

[00:06:19] Trista Polo: absolutely right. I remember my mom had a lot of trouble with 60 cause she sort of had it like she was old at 60, but but I said just exactly what you're telling me.

[00:06:30] Trista Polo: You're only as old as you feel.

[00:06:31] Sonja, BRK AWY: My dad turned 60 last year and his girlfriendtook himto Disney. So I was getting all of these text messages of pictures of him on rides. And he went to breakfast with Mickey and Winnie the Poo was there and he just had a really good time.

[00:06:46] Sonja, BRK AWY: And I don't even think he second guessed it at all, turning 60.

[00:06:49] Trista Polo: So finding your inner child, how perfect is that? That's a great idea.

[00:06:55] Sonja, BRK AWY: That is definitely my dad. He finds joy and fun in any situation. I try to be just like him actually,

[00:07:01] Trista Polo: but I try and be just like him too. I tend to get a little serious. I have a corporate background, so, you know, things have to be done a certain way.

[00:07:08] Trista Polo: And then I really fight against that because that's how I'm trained professionally. But I always do prefer to have the fun in things, for sure.

[00:07:20] Sonja, BRK AWY: I'm the same way too.

[00:07:23] Trista Polo: Yeah. Now you are more than a hockey fan. You have lots of other interests and skills and passions. So tell me about yourself. What do you do professionally?

[00:07:36] Sonja, BRK AWY: So professionally I'm a physical therapist's assistant. I work locally at a, at a kind of busy outpatient clinic. And I've been doing that for. Geez, probably just over six years. So, and I really like it.

[00:07:51] Trista Polo: How did you get started in that profession? That's a very specialized thing to do for a living.

[00:07:57] Sonja, BRK AWY: So I went to college right after high school. And I actually took three years to do it instead of the recommended two, just to kind of ease into it. But it wasn't really anything that was on my radar for a long time. And then one day I was watching TV. It sounds really cliche, but I was watching Soldiers that had injuries.

[00:08:14] Sonja, BRK AWY: And they were working with physical therapists, like in the parallel bars, very quintessential DP like learning how to walk it in and manage prosthetics and things like that. And I was like, who does that? Is that a doctor? Like, how can I get into that? And that's kinda when I found physical therapy and to be a physical therapist assistant,

[00:08:33] Trista Polo: I think that's great.

[00:08:33] Trista Polo: I actually have always. Every physical therapist I've ever met. I really liked, I liked their personality. They're really grounded. They're fit. They understand the body, but they didn't have to go all the way through the whole medical school thing. It's the, it's the profession I have always sort of regretted I didn't know about when I was choosing my path, because I think if I had known about it, I might've actually pursued it as a profession. So and you definitely fall in line with the whole physical therapy vibe. Like you're a nice person. You're really grounded. You're centered. You're easy to talk to.

[00:09:16] Trista Polo: I've just, that's how all the physical therapy people that I know are

[00:09:20] Sonja, BRK AWY: thank you so much. That's really nice. Yeah. I found that as well, too, you know? I see it as like, we're, we're your health care professional, but when you go into a doctor, you know, you're there and doctors are great. Nurses are great, but you're there.

[00:09:34] Sonja, BRK AWY: Like when you're sick, you know, they don't get to see you through that whole process of getting better. It's kinda, it's a long game, you know? So we have to make people feel really comfortable because they see us for two, three times a week for, you know, 6, 12, 18. And so you know, I really enjoy like getting to know people.

[00:09:54] Sonja, BRK AWY: I mean, most of my patients, the older ones, they're like adopted grandparents at the time that I leave them, you know, and it's really great just to connect with people. And I meet so many cool people, you know all the way from I've worked with pediatric patients to, you know, middle-aged patients and older patients.

[00:10:10] Sonja, BRK AWY: Like everyone just always has a really cool story and a reason why they're there. And I just really think.

[00:10:17] Trista Polo: And you're absolutely right. You get to be part of the whole entire process, not just the beginning or the end. You're part of the transformation of the physical health. That's great. Yeah,

[00:10:30] Sonja, BRK AWY: definitely.

[00:10:31] Sonja, BRK AWY: And it's. That's something that I take a lot of pride in, especially in my area I'm in central Maine is just being part of like fighting the opioid crisis because there are so many patients who, you know, not unwillingly, but unknowingly kind of get fall into habits of like taking pain medication. And they're not given the steps to kind of get past that or you know, how to take them or how to come off of them.

[00:10:57] Sonja, BRK AWY: And so that's kind of a big part that I take pride in because we can help them manage their pain with less medication or to help get them off that medication and just, you know, return to function. And so, like I said, especially in this area, I think that's really important.

[00:11:14] Trista Polo: Yeah. I super agree. I am on the board of an organization called theMatt Herring Foundation.

[00:11:20] Trista Polo: It's all about taking the stigma away from addiction because I think once a person becomes addicted, They get shunned, judged by the community, their family, oftentimes, and that makes it a lot harder to overcome for sure. So I love that you're part of that conversation as well. It's super important. I understand from the pandemic it's even got worse than it was, and it was not good to begin with.

[00:11:47] Sonja, BRK AWY: Yeah. I can definitely see how that would happen. Like I said, especially in my area, it's kind of a higher population for drugs and addiction. So, you know, I definitely noticed people coming in. I think they enjoy coming into the, because it's kind of, one of, it's kind of a social fitting in a lot of ways.

[00:12:05] Sonja, BRK AWY: So a lot of people, you know, get to get out and they get to socialize. And I know some people like see friends of theirs, cause it's such a small community and they're like, oh, I haven't seen you in, you know, however long. So it's definitely, you know, I just really enjoy physical therapy and I'm glad for so many opportunities and so many things that it's opened me up to.

[00:12:24] Trista Polo: Yeah. Sure, absolutely. I want to talk about your passions because I know you have some passions and you share them on your Instagram.

[00:12:33] Trista Polo: So where do you want to start?

[00:12:34] Sonja, BRK AWY: I don't know. We can talk about my my passion for makeup and fashion and lifestyle.

[00:12:41] Trista Polo: How did you get excited? And cause, I mean, I wear makeup. I knew you'd be on point today. So I went a little further than I usually do. I will say for the pandemic, I never wore a lot of makeup anyway.

[00:12:54] Trista Polo: But with the pandemic, it definitely went down, but I'm like, oh, see, she's into makeup. So I'm going to make mascara lipstick. So this is me made up. I did it for

[00:13:05] Sonja, BRK AWY: you. I love it. I need to know that lip color too. Cause I really like it. Oh,

[00:13:09] Trista Polo: it's one of my favorites. It's called Wine Not. Then I have a lip liner underneath.

[00:13:16] Trista Polo: I'll send you the colors, but yeah. So how did you get started in these? How did this become a passion and not just something you do because you're going to work or to the clubs.

[00:13:25] Sonja, BRK AWY: Sure. So a couple of years ago, probably like five years ago or so I really got into makeup. I've kind of always been especially like in high school too, but I got into like how to apply it properly, watching a lot of YouTube videos.

[00:13:39] Sonja, BRK AWY: And I had a friend of mine that was also into. And probably spent way more money than I should as a young adult on makeup. But it was about four years ago, I was approached by a family member to do a wedding makeup, you know, session. They my cousin, he had a friend getting married and he was like, she doesn't have a makeup artist.

[00:13:58] Sonja, BRK AWY: It's really last minute. Is there any way that you can do her makeup and a couple of her friends? I was like, I've never done anybody's makeup in my whole life. I don't know if I can. And I did it and I, I think I ended up doing like five or six people that, that day. And it went really, really well.

[00:14:14] Sonja, BRK AWY: So I've kind of been doing that here and there. Yeah.

[00:14:19] Trista Polo: That's really cool. I think YouTube created a lot of excitement and passion for makeup because you actually didn't have to go to cosmetology school to learn the, you know, the smokey eye and how to do eyeliner, how to do a lip line properly, the do's and don'ts.

[00:14:38] Trista Polo: So I think that was, that gave makeup access. Yeah. A lot more

[00:14:43] Sonja, BRK AWY: people. I definitely think so too. Like in high school, I really liked makeup and I actually ended up doing a friend of mine from high school. I graduated with her and I did her makeup for her sister's wedding and she was like, I'm not surprised that you're doing this at all.

[00:14:59] Sonja, BRK AWY: She's like, you always looked so good in high school and I'm like, oh my God, I don't think I did it all. But you know, it's just like, you know, those opportunities that you have when she kind of learned about it to, and just practice what it is

[00:15:11] Trista Polo: really. Yeah. I have this thing, like, I'll watch the videos because I think it's fascinating to watch the transformation and then I'll try it.

[00:15:20] Trista Polo: And I feel like here's the problem. I always have getting. I shadow to look blended with other things. I feel like I either have way too little or way too much. I can never quite get the balance, you know? So I don't know. I'm a little. Well, I'm definitely amateur when it comes to it. And I probably don't have the dedication of time and practicing.

[00:15:44] Trista Polo: That would make me amazing at it. But that's one place that I have not figured out. Maybe I have the wrong brushes. I don't know.

[00:15:52] Sonja, BRK AWY: And I would totally agree with that. Like, it's hard. You know, it's it's art. So, you know how like then go wouldn't if painted with like Walmart 97 cent, little acrylic paint brushes.

[00:16:04] Sonja, BRK AWY: So that's where I would go with the blending is sometimes you have to find brushes that, you know, are a little bit better quality and just like what you're doing. For the job. So if you take a really big fluffy brush and you try to use it on your lid, that's going to be too big for the surface that you're trying to get to.

[00:16:22] Sonja, BRK AWY: So that's my biggest thing is just having the right brushes and they don't have to be really expensive, but just making sure that you, you know, use the right brush and when, and that it's of good enough quality,

[00:16:33] Trista Polo: but I think

[00:16:34] Sonja, BRK AWY: that's can depend too. You know, if your shadows aren't easy to blend that can make up.

[00:16:41] Trista Polo: Yeah, I think the same goes for painting a room, right? You don't use a regular brush for painting the edges. So I think you're right. The right brush for the job is super important. I did just get some new brushes and I thought, you know, if I'm gonna say that I'm not good at it, I better at least have the right brushes before I decide for sure that blending eyeshadows will never be me.

[00:17:08] Trista Polo: So, do you still do it for other people? Do you tag clients or mostly just for yourself?

[00:17:14] Sonja, BRK AWY: I do it for myself but I don't really, I don't market myself that much. It's usually just kind of friends that will reach out or friends and friends that are like, Hey, I need you. And I'll usually end up doing like maybe three or four jobs a year.

[00:17:27] Sonja, BRK AWY: You know, my weekends are kind of sacred to me, so I don't like to do it all the time. But I kind of look at it as like a fun challenge. Like it makes me kind of nervous, you know? And so I go in and then I do it and it all turns out really well. And I really, I really enjoy.

[00:17:45] Trista Polo: That's how I feel about podcasts.

[00:17:47] Trista Polo: I have a podcast. It's something I enjoy doing, but being a guest on other people's podcasts, I always like have this performance anxiety right before we're ready to start. Am I going to know what to say, like an imposter syndrome kind of thing. Do I really add any value? What are they going to ask me?

[00:18:09] Trista Polo: What am I going to talk about? I hope that this turns out to be a good final, so I know what you mean. I know what you mean. It's, it's fun. You enjoy doing it. It's a passion, but it can be a little, a little daunting as well.

[00:18:21] Sonja, BRK AWY: Yeah. And you know what? I feel like it's a good kind of. Because sometimes with my job and things like that, you know, I have a lot of patients are really complicated patients or it's really busy and I get kind of stressed and it's not the best kind of stress, you know, you work through it, but like these, these opportunities you get to pick and choose when you want to do it.

[00:18:39] Sonja, BRK AWY: And it's always in a really fun environment and you love the people that you work on. And yeah, I really enjoy it. And I like putting myself through this. 'cause I'm always like, am I good enough? And then all the girls are just like over the moon, happy with how they look. And it makes it really easy when you just, they sit down and they're like, I don't care what you do.

[00:18:58] Sonja, BRK AWY: Just make me look good. You know, if somebody wants a specific look, then you're kind of a little bit more stressed, but mostly everybody I've worked with is like, oh, just do whatever. Just do

[00:19:09] Trista Polo: whatever you want. I actually ended up doing my sister's makeup for her wedding. This was 10 years ago now, but my mother was very involved in the planning and they were planning it together.

[00:19:23] Trista Polo: And she asked me if I would do her makeup because she liked how I did mine. I was. Wearing it more and more consistently back then. But I was like, oh, okay. I'll I'll, I mean, I can do what I do to myself. If that's what you're looking for.

[00:19:39] Sonja, BRK AWY: That's exactly how I felt when I did my first job. I was like, I mean, I can try.

[00:19:45] Sonja, BRK AWY: And I ended up having like a mature woman as well. And I had never, I mean, obviously I'm younger, so I had no idea, but I kinda like took. Tips and tricks that I've learned on YouTube and it turned out great.

[00:19:58] Trista Polo: So yeah, I thought she looked great. I think she looked perfect. It wasn't over the top for the wedding, but it was done and it was beautiful for her photos.

[00:20:08] Trista Polo: She had I think it enhanced her beauty. It didn't take away or make it about the makeup and I'll tell you the other cool thing. It was really fun. To be able to do that for her on her wedding day. You know? So that's a memory I cherish. Yeah, I think

[00:20:26] Sonja, BRK AWY: that's awesome. I was able to do my best friends makeup for her baby shower.

[00:20:31] Sonja, BRK AWY: And I just loved that. I loved having that memory and, you know, I had helped kind of set it up and then I left to do her makeup and you know, and actually her baby was born that same afternoon. So it was kind of like our last memory together, like before Grayson was born. And so like, I was like, goodness.

[00:20:50] Sonja, BRK AWY: Yeah, I really loved that memory.

[00:20:52] Trista Polo: Wow. Now you're into fashion too, right? You do some posts about fashion. So tell us about that.

[00:21:00] Sonja, BRK AWY: I do. So I'm definitely not like. Super out there with fashion yet. It's kind of a newer hobby for mine for myself, but it's something that I've kind of been into for a few years.

[00:21:11] Sonja, BRK AWY: And just trying to put looks together that are really simple that you don't really have to think about or like had a lot of really extravagant pieces for just kind of like the basics, but dressing them

[00:21:22] Trista Polo: up. I always say I'm terrible at fashion. I have, I remember in my childhood, the Garanamals, I think they're still around where you want the child to be able to dress him or herself.

[00:21:36] Trista Polo: And so as long as the animals match, the child knows that they are. A good outfit. So put a lion shirt with a lion pant. You're good to go. So I have always wished that they had Garanamals for adults. I don't know why somebody has not come up with this idea. It's probably going to be the next home-based business that comes out and they should give me a cut because it'll be a really good idea and everyone will want it like me.

[00:22:03] Trista Polo: I actually had somebody come in and do a, a closet consult. So, what she did is she went through everything. I owned, she had me try on a lot of stuff. She had me decide like what I could put together, things I never would have matched. She had me donate a lot of stuff. We negotiated several pieces that I thought I should keep.

[00:22:23] Trista Polo: And she didn't. I won some, she won some, but it made it like more accessible to know that my closet had some great pieces, some great outfits, some great combinations that kind of revitalized my wardrobe and I didn't really have to buy very much to use what I had.

[00:22:40] Trista Polo: It was very cool.

[00:22:42] Sonja, BRK AWY: That's kind of what it's all about for me.

[00:22:44] Trista Polo: Yeah. We've touched on this whole concept of self-worth a few times it's kind of come up underneath. Tell me a little bit about your journey with your own self.

[00:22:56] Sonja, BRK AWY: Sure. You know, I've kind of always thought that self self-worth had something to do with like the way that you looked, but I think it's more the way that you feel, which can definitely come from how you look. But I think it has to do with just a healthy respect for who you are. And just knowing that if you're not kind of in a place where you want to be with your weight or your size or your bulk or your, you know, that you're, you're okay with everything else about you. Like you're really creative or you're very professional area, very intelligent. Or you have, you know, other pursuits that you can kind of look into versus just like the way that you look because that's so.

[00:23:38] Trista Polo: I love what you're saying about respecting yourself. I think that is a very important pillar in self-worth because if you can just respect yourself what you've been through. What challenges you've overcome, what, you know, what you've learned, your gifts, your talents, your creativity, whatever it is. I think that that is a huge piece to self-worth.

[00:24:05] Trista Polo: So I'm so glad you said that.

[00:24:06] Sonja, BRK AWY: Yeah, I would definitely agree. You know, I went through a period of my life about four or five years ago where I was in a very dark place mentally. And it took a lot to kind of get out of that. And there was probably, I felt like two or three years of my life. Kind of lost because I was just like a roller coaster of emotions.

[00:24:24] Sonja, BRK AWY: And so, you know, I find myself feeling that like, I'm, I'm out of that dark spot, but I hadn't forgotten. I, you know, I haven't forgotten it. And I feel like for all that I went through, it was what I needed to do to become the woman that I really love and appreciate. And I think like for myself, I'm like, you know, I would go through it all over again.

[00:24:43] Sonja, BRK AWY: If I could just help one person, you know? So I think that's really.

[00:24:48] Trista Polo: I really agree with you, you know, every wrinkle, scar, pound, everything we have is a result of what we've been through. So if we can look at that as our tapestry, as opposed to our flaws, I think that just really makes a huge difference and you're absolutely right.

[00:25:12] Trista Polo: We get to support and contribute to others from what we've learned from our challenges and our adversity, not from our life, going everything. We, you know, every way we wanted it to and being easy.

[00:25:25] Sonja, BRK AWY: I completely agree with that. And I'm, I'm definitely big on the and it goes for anybody, you know, any gender, male or female and everything in between.

[00:25:33] Sonja, BRK AWY: But I feel like right now we just have this great opportunity for like women supporting women because women are stronger than ever. And there is no place in my. For competition or putting other women down for doing what they want to do. Like if you're not hurting yourself and you're not hurting others, then I will fully support you in whatever you decide to do

[00:25:56] Trista Polo: is I want you to win whatever winning looks like to you.

[00:26:00] Sonja, BRK AWY: I agree. I always say like you, you lose nothing by lighting somebody else's candle with your own. So your flame is still going to be just as bright as there is at the end of this.

[00:26:11] Trista Polo: Hmm, that is so good. I have not heard that exactly put that way. That's beautiful. That's really, really great. Well thank you for sharing that.

[00:26:21] Trista Polo: I appreciate it. I think that having conversations like that makes a big difference. I think it's sort of like what we were talking about before with the opioid thing, like the S the stigma. And one of the things that I'll say about social media that I love, I hate social media. It's such a time suck and it's like, you have to be there.

[00:26:41] Trista Polo: But one of the things I love about it is there's so much positivity, girl power, you know, boss babe kind of stuff out there. And I think that's important because it's easy to forget that we are strong and we are capable and we are bad-ass and we are awesome. I absolutely

[00:27:03] Sonja, BRK AWY: agree. A hundred percent. Yeah.

[00:27:06] Trista Polo: Now I can't let this. And without touching on the fact that you are a Jeep owner, right? Yes, I

[00:27:13] Sonja, BRK AWY: am. I heard

[00:27:13] Trista Polo: of the Jeep family. Yep. Because I've had a few Jeep women on the podcast. So I got to call you out and, and acknowledge you for that. How did you end up being a Jeep person?

[00:27:24] Sonja, BRK AWY: So I had a Mazda for a really long time.

[00:27:26] Sonja, BRK AWY: It was the first car I ever bought on my own. And that was actually the picture featured on the Instagram page with my plate. It was so weird cause I'd had my new Jeep for like three months. And then that picture to showed up all like when was that taken? I don't know who posted it, but I ended up getting my Jeep last August.

[00:27:43] Sonja, BRK AWY: It was right after my birthday. So it was kind of like a birthday present to myself. And I think I just really wanted kind of something more sporty, more SUV like, and my uncle has always really been into Jeeps and my aunt has a Jeep just like mine, same model. And I was just like, you know, I can't really see myself in anything but a Jeep at this point.

[00:28:01] Sonja, BRK AWY: Like none of the other SUV's really look like what I want or feel like what I want. And I've really been loving it so far. So

[00:28:10] Trista Polo: that's awesome. And so you have the plate now on your. Jeep.

[00:28:14] Sonja, BRK AWY: I do. Yep. I do. I have my BRK AWY plates and I have my little university of Maine hockey border on it.

[00:28:20] Sonja, BRK AWY: So I'm really liking it so far. And I've, I've gotten to put a couple of my I'm kind of picky about what stickers I put on it, but I have put a couple so far, but I'm making some, some modifications to it.

[00:28:31] Sonja, BRK AWY: I feel like that's what Jeep ownership is all about. It is. He wants to mod it out and change it. And that's kind of, what's fun about it. I feel like it's easy to do.

[00:28:41] Trista Polo: It is, there's a huge community of Jeep owners that really embrace, customizing it, making it your own and really putting your own mark on it.

[00:28:53] Trista Polo: So that'll be a fun project.

[00:28:55] Sonja, BRK AWY: I agree. And that's something definitely that I'll share on my Instagram page. Cause it's kind of all about just like my lifestyle basically, and, and kinda just like who I am as a person. Yeah. So it's something that I'll probably share on my Instagram moving forward, like, you know, changing the grill and putting on little applicase and I just think that's fun.

[00:29:12] Sonja, BRK AWY: Like it's fun to share interesting things like that because who knows, who's watching that might want to do the same thing, but they don't know how, or they just need a little inspiration. So,

[00:29:21] Trista Polo: absolutely. Well, there's a huge community of Jeep owners, especially women that you can plug into and be part of, if you're not already well, it's been so fun talking to you about your life and your plate stories. So I always like to turn the tables before we wrap up. Is there one question that you have for me?

[00:29:39] Sonja, BRK AWY: I do. I want to know that if you were a tree, what kind would you be in? Why.

[00:29:46] Trista Polo: Oh, my goodness.

[00:29:49] Sonja, BRK AWY: I don't know any planted nature.

[00:29:52] Trista Polo: We'll just stay with the tree. That's a good one. I just, you know, when I get these questions, I I'm not ready for them. So I have to think.

[00:30:01] Trista Polo: So there was a tree when I was growing up, I moved around a lot. And so having so many different homes. There's always like one thing that stands out from a place that had a lot of memories, good memories, bad memories, you know, hooks into my mind that just kind of stuck with me. And I lived in a house when I was a kid in Louisiana, in Baton Rouge.

[00:30:28] Trista Polo: And we had this weeping Willow in the, in the front yard, like on this mound, I guess it would be like a land landscape installation, sort of a thing. And that tree always struck me as beautiful. Peaceful, you know, the S the strands of leaves would just go with the flow, but it was the thing I will always saw, like out the window and coming to the house and leaving the house.

[00:30:58] Trista Polo: So it was very steadfast and strong. And. You know, really rooted in stability. And that was the year my parents got divorced. So stability was definitely a little Rocky at the time. Now, on the other hand, it was also the tree under which I stepped in a red ant hill in bare feet. And so there was this.

[00:31:24] Trista Polo: You know, the ants crawling up biting my legs. My mother rushing me into the bathroom to wash them off the pain that went with that. So like not perfect now, but like real and strong, but waving in the, in life as it comes. And so the symbolism of all of those things together. Kind of echo my own life and you know that it's not perfect, but it's good.

[00:31:54] Trista Polo: And going with the flow makes me feel more peaceful, but having a strong stable foundation to work from makes me feel safe and able to go outside my comfort zone. So that's my answer. I

[00:32:09] Sonja, BRK AWY: love that. It's really, it's cool because, you know, we think, well, as I never really had thought about it that way, but they they're a tree, so they have really strong stable foundation, but they do have a little bit more, you know, femininity in you know, flowing this.

[00:32:22] Sonja, BRK AWY: And so I really like.

[00:32:24] Trista Polo: Yeah, thanks for asking that question. I don't know that I would have known the answer until you asked it, so that was fun to contemplate for myself.

[00:32:33] Sonja, BRK AWY: I like it. Awesome.

[00:32:35] Trista Polo: Well, I'm going to put your Instagram accounts. You have two of them. I'm going to put them in the show notes. And so the people can follow you.

[00:32:43] Trista Polo: You have a lot of great stuff, especially on your page with the makeup and the fashion, some great advice and looks and products that you love. So we'll make sure people have a way to connect with you. And I want to thank you so much for being on.

[00:32:58] Sonja, BRK AWY: Yeah. Thank you so much. I had a really good time.

[00:33:00] Trista Polo: Good. Me too.

[00:33:01] Trista Polo: Me too. So have a great rest of your day.

[00:33:04] Sonja, BRK AWY: Thank you, you too.

[00:33:07] Trista, Host: Thank you for joining us for this week's episode of Trista's PL8STORY podcast. Please subscribe to Trista's PL8STORY podcast to get the story behind all those vanity plates, driving with you on the road. And if you would like to nominate the owner of a license plate, including you... Or visit any of our partners and sponsors come and see us www.pl8story.com. That's P L number eight story.com and give us the details.

If you enjoyed this episode, please drop a review and give us a share. I'm Trista Polo wishing you well on the road to your next adventure.

Plate 66 - D8NIT - Trista's PL8STORY Podcast

trista@iwokeupawesome.com (Trista Polo) — Mon, 13 Sep 2021 11:33:02 GMT

Plate 66 - D8NIT - with Dan Purcell from UT

Dan Purcell is a successful business owner and entrepreneur who lost everything and came back a winner. He and his wife do their relationship on purpose and he shares his success tips on a happy work and happy life. Dan's plate, D8NIT, reflects both. He's an app developer who channeled his relationship success into an app to help other couples called Intimately Us. He even has a podcast with great advice from sexperts. Join me as we get to know Dan and his plate story. You'll leave with lots of take-aways.

Connect with Dan:

@getyourmarriageon on Instagram

Wanna keep the spark alive in your relationship? There's an app for that! https://intimately.us

Connect with Trista's PL8STORY Podcast:

- Nominate a plate - https://www.pl8story.com

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Transcript:

D8NIT

Trista, Host: Welcome to this week's episode of Trista's PL8STORY (Plate Story) Podcast. I'm Trista Polo from iwokeupawesome.com and I am your host. Each week, we learn the story behind that vanity plate. You know, the one you saw driving down the road... what did it say? What did it mean? Why did they choose it?

Welcome. Thanks for joining us. I'm really super excited to have this week's guest. The plate may sound familiar to you. It's D8NIT. It's D eight N I T from Utah. Dan Purcell is the owner of the license plate. Welcome Dan.

Dan, Guest: Thank you. Happy to be here.

Trista, Host: So glad to have you now you chose date night, share a little about why you chose that.

Dan, Guest: Sure right after I graduated from college, I got a job in a little town in Idaho and our neighbor, a few houses down had a BMW convertible and their license plate was Idaho date night. And we thought that was so cool. And that couple they're always flirty and fun towards each other. They'd go out on dates all the time.

And you know, when you have a sexy car, you got to name it date night. So we thought that was really. Fast forward many years later I had my eye on a specific car and. It's, it's a Tesla model X. And if you know about those, they open the back doors open, like a, the con Falcon wing doors and the fast, and it can seat up to seven passengers and we have a large family.

So I had all these reasons why it would be the perfect car for me. So we started saving her money and I will go get into this a little more, but it took us a long time to save for that car. And when we finally got it, we let my wife and I looked at each other, what are we going to call this? And I said, date night, of course.

So that's how we can kind of came up with that name.

Trista, Host: That's awesome. Now we had a previous guest also date night, you guys know each other. Yeah, we

Dan, Guest: do Laura Brotherson.

Trista, Host: Yeah. That's awesome. So did she have anything to do with you making that date night choice?

Dan, Guest: No. In fact I didn't even know that she had date night on her car either until after I heard about it from your podcast.

Trista, Host: So

Dan, Guest: I texted her say, Hey, Laura, we have the same license plate. Well, very similar, but yeah.

Trista, Host: I love that. So you have the Tesla, it has the sexy plate to go with the sexy car. Now you said that it took something for you to save for the Tesla. You know, those are kind of pricey cars, but you have a little bit of a journey that you've been through professionally.

Can you share a little bit about that?

Dan, Guest: Yes. I'm a software engineer by training and entrepreneur by hobby. So. The entrepreneur bug bit me right after I graduated from college and I want to start a company to build a business and we, we did professional website design and software development, and that grew and grew and grew.

We got to the point where he had 32 employees and over 800 clients all over the world and it was awesome. And an opportunity came to sell the company. So we're excited because running a company is hard. Long hours and it's a thankless job. It's very lonely and you sometimes work so hard for just such little pay.

It feels like sometimes. And often fantasize about, you know, a job at McDonald's or at the post office. Sounds really good right now compared to running this company anyway, so that, that opportunity came to sell the company. So we go into the negotiation, sell the company, came up with the valuation and agreed to terms where they would pay 10% down.

And 18 months later, the balance would be due with interest. So we've signed the papers and we'd go to work together. We merged these two companies together, and life is great for 11 months. On the 11th month, Mark, the CEO of the company that acquired ours, you know, invited me to lunch, which is always a bad sign and said, Hey Dan, I got bad news.

I'm out of money. There's absolutely no way I'll ever be able to pay you what I owe you. And we're going to have massive layoffs on Monday and you don't have a job. So that was really hard because you work so hard and we're really hoping for that payout. And that payout was going to be significant enough that we could pay off our mortgage fund or kids' college accounts and have money leftover for a fancy car.

So that's kind of where our first kind of goal was to get this, this fancy

Trista, Host: car. So you kind of went from having your whole life set up to nothing. No job, no big pay out, no college tuition, still having a mortgage. So debt that's got to have really hit your family and you really hard.

Dan, Guest: It was disappointing.

But I did have a few things going for me. One is I have skills. I know how to build a company. I don't want to, but if I had to, I could start over. The second is I had relationships and that's probably even more valuable than the first. I still had friends. I still had. Former clients I could reach out to.

I wasn't the only one losing my job, really talented people in that company, or we're also going to lose their job at that time. So it was a prime opportunity to snatch up top talent. So I cried in the closet for about a day and then realized that's going to do me no good. So I just went to work and that next monday was a big announcement and everything went down. And then by Tuesday, the next day I opened another office and we just went to work on starting the company all over again with a smaller, smaller group of people

Trista, Host: that takes like a lot of mental fortitude. I mean, you're put kind of like, well, you know what, I was upset for a day, but got back up and, and went for it.

And I'm just thinking about like the average person. Would maybe need therapy, you know, like there's a lot to what you went through and the emotional reaction. I'd love to hear a little bit deeper behind the scenes of what it took for you mentally, emotionally to start over from scratch when you really were supposed to be done, having to do so much hard work.

Dan, Guest: First. So first things is that during those 11 months I worked for another company. See, I hadn't really gotten to. Paycheck like that for years, because I had run my own company. And if you run your own company, you know, you're always paid last. So that was kind of a new experience. But I also learned a lot too.

I, I learned that I actually don't make a good employee. I, I like to kind of run my own agenda. I like to set my own goals, not have someone else set goals for me. I like to I, I, I think I'm very much a visionary type of a worker and I was given integrator type tasks. So I got them done. But deep down inside, there was something missing.

I'm an entrepreneur I want to create. So I in a, in a way that sudden change, even though the way it came about, wasn't the way I would have preferred it to happen. It was, it was also an exit for me to kind of, you know, start something over and let the creator inside me loose. The other thing that really helped is I at the time and I still do sincerely believe the CEO of the company wasn't trying to pull a fast one on me. He wasn't trying to deceive me or trick me out of something. He honestly could not pay me. And it was at the end of his rope. He had, he had tried all of these things and it just, it didn't work. And I get that business is risky. Him acquiring my company was a big risk.

He took on probably a little bit too much risk than he was prepared to do. And he probably wasn't very well prepared for that. And so there's, so I kind of had to give him a little bit of grace for me to get over the emotional hangups of feeling taken advantage of. And another thing too, is. My wife and I tend to live frugally.

We'd had savings. We had we had enough savings that we could last, maybe six months, Dave Ramsey would be really proud of us. And he had we, we were okay. We would be okay. And we live near family. So something absolutely awful terrible would happen. We'd have, we have a support network built in that we could, you know, help help with.

What is that I'm thinking of a crash pad where it kind of absorbs the impact a bit.

And just say it wasn't stressful would be not truthful at all. It was stressful, but part of it too is I I'm a believer in God. And that's, that's an important part of me to, to you know, to kind of take up my case before God and just ask for his help.

And I, I felt like he gave me help.

Trista, Host: That's awesome. What I'm really hearing from you. You were, it's not like you woke up one day and had nothing. You had already put structures in place, both mentally, spiritually, and financially that it wasn't like you were waiting for a guaranteed lottery ticket. This was not your your big pay day to fix every problem you had amassed over the years.

So it sounds like you already had a very strong. Support system in many areas of life. And I think that I just want to acknowledge you for having all of that setup in place, but also for giving the owner, the benefit of the doubt. This has been kind of this mantra I've had the last few weeks, you know, if you're upset with someone, if they've quote done you wrong, said something wrong or mean, or what to give the person the benefit of the doubt that they were doing their best. They meant it in the best possible way. Maybe they were having a bad day having some good will stores with the people in your life. And it sounds like you had that with the owner so that you could give him the benefit of the doubt when he came to you with this news.

I'm sure that helped you reset after it happened.

Dan, Guest: Yes, it did.

It's all your relationships. And I liked what you said about it. It takes you have to have a reservoir of it though.

So you have to kind of build up that reservoir and not just, just in general, you need to live that way. It's not a, if it's a win something happens, for us to draw

Trista, Host: on. Absolutely. Absolutely. So you have your software engineer and you have an app that also kind of goes with your license plate, right?

Can you share a little bit about that?

Dan, Guest: So a few months after we started everything over. I, so the stars aligned some really interesting things happen all of a sudden I'm back to work. And even though it's stressful because we don't have anything and we're kind of starting from scratch, I have new found life and creativity and passion in my work again.

So I'm happier at my work, even though it's more challenging. And then. My oldest at that time is around 12 or 13 years old and he is responsible enough to watch the younger kids. So my wife and I can go out more regularly on a weekend just to have a few hours together on a date. So that was another wonderful thing.

And probably for the first time in our marriage, up to that, My wife and I had some really serious conversations about our relationship and how, how we're relating well together. And part of that was prompted with an opportunity at work or in the conversations with friends. I call it stage of life or whatever.

And we both, for us realized we had a lot of anxiety going into marriage about our sexuality, that we've never really expressed to each other, that we've held on for these 13 years. So we're finally starting to have those really uncomfortable, but really important discussions about our sex life. Like, am I a good lover?

How am I doing? Like how can we improve in this area or. It was, we never really brought it up before. So for the first time we are, and for us, our situation's probably different than others, but we realized we needed a lot more information to make our sex life better. So we started we went on Amazon and found a few books and we, then we read some more and then we found podcasts and blogs. Within one year, think we read like 12 marriage and sex books together. We found awesome podcasts and great blogs. We like devour these blogs and binge listen to these podcasts. And just all of a sudden our relationship gets a lot closer.

And. We just start really connecting better. And there's something really magical that happens when you're twitterpaited. It's like the sky is bluer the grass is greener. The sun shines a little brighter. Everything is funnier all of a sudden. And we're like living in that, like state all over again.

It's like we're newlyweds all over again. Because we now are more mature and have a little more history. So we're like, holy cow, this is really, really good. If I were as a good public speaker, I would probably like be talking about this stuff. Or if I was a good writer, I'd probably write

Trista, Host: then now we all know, we all know what it means. That's awesome. So the intimacy app is that available on all kinds of phones is itin the app store,

Dan, Guest: just search the app store for intimately us.

That's

Trista, Host: awesome. So what can someone hope to get from that app? Would they be able to get all the things that you were able to achieve from your work over

Dan, Guest: that year? Absolutely. Yes. Yep. If you want a better sex life, there's an app for it.

Trista, Host: Perfect. Do you want to be twitterpated there's an app for that.

Yeah. I love it. Now you said you had a couple other apps or did you have something else?

Dan, Guest: Yeah, one app is a chat app, so

it's not just my wife and I, but many couples like to flirt when they're apart and texting and whatever's a popular way to do that, but there's a big problem with texts. Is books or blogs about myself, but I'm neither of those.

My only medium I can really work in is software. So I thought we're going to make an app. Strengthen their marriages and get a, especially in the intimacy. Yeah. So we made an app called "Intimately Us" plus a few. We have a few other apps out now, but that's the main one.

Trista, Host: That's great. Now I just have to stop for a moment. You used a word that I had never heard before and I have a pretty good vocabulary. So I looked it up and it was "twitterpaited". I just want to let everybody know it is excited or overcome by romantic feelings or smitten, according to dictionary.com.

Anybody else was? Yes, it comes from the movie Bambi. That's exactly right. So if anybody was wondering or stuck on that word then now we all know, we all know what it means. That's awesome. So the intimacy app is that available on all kinds of phones is itin the app store,

Dan, Guest: just search the app store for "Intimately Us".

Trista, Host: So what can someone hope to get from that app? Would they be able to get all the things that you were able to achieve from your work over

Dan, Guest: that year? Absolutely. Yes. Yep. If you want a better sex life, there's an app for it.

Trista, Host: Perfect. Do you want to be twitterpated there's an app for that.

Yeah. I love it. Now you said you had a couple other apps or did you have something else?

Dan, Guest: Yeah, one app is a chat app, so it's not just my wife and I, but many couples like to flirt when they're apart and texting and whatever's a popular way to do that, but there's a big problem with texts. Is you can accidentally send a message to the wrong person, and it's not just, you know, SMS, there's Facebook messenger and there's WhatsApp.

And all of those platforms are designed to like communicate with many people. So we wanted an app that you can only communicate with one other person. And so we created "Just Between Us" is the name of it. Okay. And you install it and your, your spouse installs it or whoever your partner is, and then you sync. So when you send a message, they're the only recipient ever that will ever get that message.

Plus it's all end-to-end encrypted. So it's double encrypted. So there's absolutely no way an intermediary can get it and you can password protect the app. So if you have young kids at home, like we do, who like to play on our phones, sometimes they can't get into our messages. Oh, my

Trista, Host: gosh, I love this app.

That's

Dan, Guest: amazing Yoou can send photos and videos. And we've built in like some fun conversation starters and topics, and a bunch of 30 graphics like you can put in and of course, GIFs and all that good stuff.

Trista, Host: That's adorable. I have never heard of either of these apps. I'm so glad to know about them. That's so fun. Now you Started a business and run it to get it to be so successful you sold it. You were able to get back on your feet and start a second business. Very successful. I'd love to hear some advice, how to be a great entrepreneur and how to be a great traditional business with employees. Like what does it take?

Dan, Guest: Yeah, I, my business goal, I started to really take off my business, started to really take off in the last few years. Once I got really good at planning, and that sounds kind of generic, of course everyone plans. But what I really mean by that is goal setting, planning, vision, that kind of stuff.

So some of the major changes I've made in my life is first. I joined a mastermind group and I recommend that to anyone who is serious about this. Did to look just Google mastermind group for business, whatever there's like hundreds, maybe even thousands of organizations that provide a mastermind in case you don't know is it's, it's at its very basic form.

It's just getting together with peers to talk about life, business, whatever, and you're there to really help and support each other. It's kind of like having an accountability. So I joined one for my business and what helped me there is I bumped shoulders every week with other men that think very differently than I do yet we all have common goals and we have common values and common. We have very different backgrounds, so it gives me insight into ideas that I would never have thought of myself. One of the things that helped me through that in this particular group I joined is they a lot of the men in this group, they're all men in this particular group.

So I can say. They there's this book written called the 12 week year. Now there's lots of books, very similar. There's 12 week, year. There's four disciplines of execution. There's traction EOS. There's a lot of these, but they're all very similar and it boils down to you coming up with a vision for where you want to go.

And I picked about a three-year. And then you work on quarterly goals by quarterly. It comes to like, if you take 52 weeks, a year divided by four that's 13 weeks and I'd take one week off per quarter. So it's really 12 weeks. So the idea is I plan out 12 weeks at a time. What goals do I want to accomplish then?

And what that forces me. Excuse me. Well, it forces me to do, is it really laser focus on one or two major objectives to really move the needle instead of trying to work on a ton of things with a one-year horizon or a three year horizon. So now I'm really like dialing it back down into that. What can I do in 12 weeks, week by week.

And then every day by day, what am I going to do to help me to accomplish that week's goal? When I got really laser focused, then I started to really take off. A lot of my initiatives got done we're ahead of schedule on some things. And it made a difference.

Trista, Host: And so the mastermind idea of really being able to be part of a group of people up to similar things, with a different mindset.

I love that. I think that's great. So the 12 week year is a book you would recommend . I mean, I think this actually is good advice, not just for business owners. This is a good advice for anybody that wants to create goals.

Dan, Guest: Absolutely. We've adopted in our marriage.

That might sound really nerdy, but it works for us. We now have set quarterly goals as like my wife and I, how are we going to run our family? Like I want to get done. Here's what the vacations we'll eventually want to do. So if that's what we're going to do, we need to start planning ahead and saving for this or ideas.

Or it might be family systems. We have business systems all the time. So we apply that concept like to our family, we have this recurring problem within our home. Let's create a system around it, so we don't have to deal with it like that anymore, whatever. So it's not just business if you're listening and you're, you're in the thick of raising kids, like we are, that's totally like, it applies.

Trista, Host: And you said you have a lot of kids. How many kids

Dan, Guest: do you have? Six children. Oldest is 15. Youngest is three.

Trista, Host: Wow. So now the 15 year olds can take care of the three-year-old

Dan, Guest: pretty much.

Trista, Host: That's nice. That's nice. They start to help take care of the family when they get to be older, I guess.

Dan, Guest: Yes. For good or for bad, like we got home from our date 10.

And they're still up playing like, like at least the younger ones.

Trista, Host: Yes. Yes. It sounds like you need to have a family meeting, create some structures. You have an app for that.

Dan, Guest: We'll have one soon.

Trista, Host: We'll have one soon. I love that. And you have a podcast. Tell us a little bit about that.

Dan, Guest: Thanks. This is goes more in the strengthening marriage space to kind of go along with the intimacy app that we created. The podcast is called "Get Your Marriage On!". And similar to yours, Trista, it's a interview style podcast where I bring in sex experts, AKA sexperts to talk about various aspects of relationships and sex and intimacy and how couples can find more happiness and I, I don't know, twitterpation,

Trista, Host: the theme of this episode, twitterpation. I love it. So have you had Laura, are you going to pay having Laura on your show?

Dan, Guest: Yes. Laura has been on my show. Yep.

Trista, Host: Awesome. Awesome. So that's a good crossover. Shout out to Laura because she has a lot to say in that arena.

We'll have a link to that and apps and all that other stuff that you're offering in the show notes so that people can access everything. I think you've really hit the nail on the head.

You're finding a place where you can offer great value, and then you're offering a really good product in that space. So who wouldn't want to be your customer? Right. That's

Dan, Guest: perfect.

Trista, Host: So let's get a little bit into your life. You're married, you have six children, obviously you have a strong marriage. How did you and your wife meet?

Dan, Guest: We met in middle school and we, we live near each other, like near enough that we'd be on the same bus route. We'd be on the same bus. And we had the same, like mutual friends were the same group of friends, but we never dated seriously through middle school or high school. In fact, she dated my best friend in high school after graduation for awhile.

And there was, once we went to different universities, there was one summer I came home. Because all my summer plans fell through. The last thing I want to do was go home, but I had no other choice. So by default, I went home for the summer, same story for her. All of her summer plans fell through. She didn't want to go home, but what else are you going to do?

So she came home for the summer and that very next Sunday we were at we're at a gathering and, you know, full of people. I don't know. I, I didn't want to be there and then see a friend a face. I recognize. And she is really cute too. And like holy cow, so good to have a friend. And she felt the same way. And I was actually looking forward to taking a break from dating that summer college I've done the dating game.

I was a little sick of it. I'm okay. For a break. She just got out of a relationship. She turned the guy down for a marriage proposal. She's like, I am done. I just want a break. So we were just. I had zero expectations. She had zero expectations. So it's just that we hung out every day, that summer, and by the end of the summer we were engaged and

Trista, Host: wow.

What a great

Dan, Guest: story we've known each other for years. And it always started with friendship and it, it still feels very much a great friendship.

Trista, Host: Yeah. You know, my husband and I, we met in college. And he always maintained that he got intimate quickly in every relationship, but because we started out as friends, he feels like that was one of the things that really made our relationship strong and lasting.

And we're 25 years married. Congratulations. And we didn't even use your app to do that. So imagine how good the next 25 years are going to be.

Well, I think anything, like you said, life happens, right. And there are going to be tough times and good times. And so I think that the way you come out of the tough times is you just, you have a commitment. And you communicate, you were talking about that as well. Right. And you just stick together and give people the benefit of the doubt.

Dan, Guest: Yup. And there's one more thing I, I want to share if I can, and that's having a relationship to your desires. So we still, even though our first plan a fell through and we had to start a business. That fancy car was still something we wanted or that I wanted. I should be really clear saying my wife, she wanted it too, but so we started saving for it.

In fact, we had an old savings account that we didn't really use for anything. So we made that like our Tesla fund. So we just extra jobs, extra money, whatever leftover it kind of went into this, to this fund. And by year three or so, we had enough money in there to buy it, but we didn't buy it. I just sat on it, sat on it, sat on it.

And I had a hard time committing to myself to spend money on such. It seemed at the time like a frivolous purchase. Like that's a lot of money that we could spend on like paying down our mortgage. Or what about kids funds? And then the other thing was like, am I really buying it? Cause I want it, or am I buying it because I want to look good in front of other people.

And if that, you know, if I'm buying it to look good, that's not a good reason to buy it. So I really struggled with my, like giving myself permission to treat myself. And then my wife and I were were we, we bought an e-course course together and this About a personal development. The person was talking a lot about desire and how it's essential for us to cultivate desires that propels our growth as humans, by having desires and growth.

And a lot of, unfortunately, a lot of American culture tries to suppress desire and make it make us like you're a good person. If you're needless and wantless like, I don't need anything from you. I don't want anything from you. I'm just here to give, give, give, and. And with the it's a facade with the appearance.

So you don't need anything. But what that does to us as people is it turns us to an empty shell of a person. We look good on the outside, but then inside we never cultivate desire and how important it is to cultivate that. And I'm like, ah, that's what I'm missing in my life. Like I've wanted this forever.

I've saved for it. We have the money for it. I that's I not giving myself permission to finally do it. And then the moment like that switch went off in my head, like, okay, we're going to do it. It was like, it was an amazing experience and I wish I would have done it sooner. So my advice to anyone listening is work on cultivating our desires and it's really okay if you've done the work for it to go forward with whatever it is that you work for.

That's what makes life worth it.

Trista, Host: That's beautiful. Cause I have the same thing. I'll have the money in the bank, but I'm afraid to spend it on the thing I want because what if I need it for something else? What if something happens that, you know, it was a mistake to do it. So I think that's what I needed to hear as well is if you have the money you've worked toward getting something you desire.

Having something you desire, being able to see your goal to fruition is as important a step as saving the money for it. Yes. Yeah. That's really good stuff. So you are you have lots of kids and you have a very active dating life with your wife. Do you also do stuff with your kids as well? Like what do you guys do to have fun and enjoy each other's time?

Dan, Guest: We live in a really unique part of the United States. We live in a part called St. George Utah, Southern Utah. It's like Phoenix or Las Vegas climate. So it's, we have warm winters, really hot summers, but it's arid and dry. And it's sunny over 300 days of the year here. So there was a lot to do outdoors.

There's a lot of mountains mountain climbing, hiking Zion national park. Top 10 national park. It's essentially our backyard. So we go, we go there and the surrounding areas have tons of things to do. So for us with our kids, we spend a lot of time outdoors. We'll go camping. We'll we're just, just go out for the day.

We like to play board games at home. We have a few favorite YouTube channels that we like that the kids like, so we'll watch, we'll do that. We're having fun around Christmas time with preparing for Christmas. And last night went and delivered treats to neighbors. Just, there's a lot of fun things to do so

Trista, Host: great.

Yeah. I love that. So is there anything else you'd like us to know? You have packed this episode with so much value and I really appreciate that because it's been amazing hearing your story, but also the nuggets that you've shared have been really juicy.

Dan, Guest: One of the influential books that I've read that's really changed the way I think about life in general is called "How Will You Measure Life" by Clayton Christiansen, Clayton Christiansen. He's if you're in the tech entrepreneur space at all, he's the father of the concept of disruption and disruption, technology like technology that disrupts other companies, really smart Harvard MBA guy.

He takes all of the concepts he's learned in teaching his students at Harvard, but applies them to life. And it really made me think like, what do I really want to get out of life?

Another book that's really influenced me lately is it's kind of a funny title, "Little Black Stretchy Pants". It's the sport then, and by the author, Chip Wilson and like how he started that company. And he talks a lot about the doing something every day that scares you. What he means by that is stepping outside your comfort zone, life of mediocrity or average.

Do something to make life worth living. And that's kind of been his life mantra, and I really liked that philosophy. So get out there, do something today that scares you, meaning step outside your comfort zone and really think about at the end of your life. What is it that's really going to matter and prioritize that first over the things that seem to matter in the moment, but don't have any lasting.

Yeah.

Trista, Host: Good advice and great things to leave us with. Now. I always like to turn the tables before we wrap up and see if you have one question that you'd like to ask me. Do you have a question?

Dan, Guest: Yes. My burning question for you Trista. And I've been thinking about this for months is what part of the zoo would you like to be in charge of

Trista, Host: a zookeeper?

If I were a zookeeper, I bet the answer to this question has kept you up at night.

Amazingly, no one has ever asked me this question in my whole life. Let alone a podcast guest.

Dan, Guest: Yes,

Trista, Host: it is a good question.

And you know what? It's so funny. Anybody who knows. And is listening to this conversation right now. They will probably be laughing because I am not a zoo person. I hate zoos. I find zoos to be depressing and boring. And just the whole idea of like caged animals are waiting there, you know, to be looked at by on.

I mean, just so for you to ask me this question is so interesting and yeah. All of that being said, I think the way that I'll answer the question is there was this really cool place that we used to take my sister, she's a lot younger than I am. She's 13 years younger. And so I was married and she was still in school and she would come visit for the summer and we took her to this place it was like this open wilderness area. the Catskill game farm .And it had deer and llamas and it had some zoo like caged things too. And there were two things about it that I really, really loved. So the one section was where you would get to ride the elephant. Like you actually got to interact with the animal. And I think they had camels too that you can ride and you just got to ride around in a little circle, but still like you got to interact with and ride the animal, the closest thing I've ever come to safari. And then the other piece that I enjoyed the most and probably even this would be my top choice was all the babies. So you got to go into the adolescent baby area and you could feed the deer right out of your hand.

And then you'd sit on a bench with your little tray of wafers and they would come around behind you, like nuzzling at your neck, looking for treats. And you just felt so loved by these animals that normally you only get to see from afar, like running away from you on the street or in the woods or like that.

And so to be able to feed the little piglets and the goat babies with bottles, And to hang out with and interact with and feed the adolescent deer. And I think they probably had alpaca too. So that was my favorite favorite part. So I guess if I had to be a zookeeper, which would be like my least favorite job ,

that would be, what I would want to do is hang out with all the babies and the adolescents and help take care of them. Give people the opportunity to interact with them. Do they do that at zoos?

Dan, Guest: Sure, sure.

Trista, Host: Let's say yes. Thank you for asking that, that. That was a good one. Well, I want to thank you so much for being on today. you brought not only so much fun and enjoyable conversation, but you brought a lot of value too, and that's super special to have those nuggets.

Dan, Guest: Thank you. Thanks.

Trista, Host: Thank you for joining us for this week's episode of Trista's PL8STORY podcast. Please subscribe to Trista's PL8STORY podcast to get the story behind all those vanity plates, driving with you on the road. And if you would like to nominate the owner of a license plate, including you... Or visit any of our partners and sponsors come and see us www.pl8story.com. That's P L number eight story.com and give us the details.

If you enjoyed this episode, please drop a review and give us a share. I'm Trista Polo wishing you well on the road to your next adventure.

Plate 65 - PODCAST - with STEVE LUBETKIN from NJ

trista@iwokeupawesome.com (Trista Polo) — Sun, 15 Aug 2021 12:49:32 GMT

Plate 65 - PODCAST - with STEVE LUBETKIN of NJ

Welcome to this week's episode of Trista's PL8STORY Podcast! This week we meet Steven Lubetkin. His plate is PODCAST and he earned it! Steven has been producing podcasts since 2005 when his wife first heard of them on NPR. He shares the history of podcasts and how a VJ from MTV started it all. Steven also has some fun stories of his own family's history, which even the historians did not know. It's a fun and informative conversation with Steven. Check out Steven's book, The Business of Podcasting, available wherever books are sold.

Connect with Steve:

https://twitter.com/podcaststeve

https://facebook.com/PodcastSteve

https://linkedin.com/in/lubetkin

Purchase The Business of Podcasting by Donna Papacosta and Steve Lubetkin on BooksAMillion using your "Shop Buddy App" to earn Cash Back (https://www.shop.com/ALLTHATINTERNET/shopbuddy?credituser=C6176934)

Connect with Trista's PL8STORY Podcast:

- Nominate a plate - https://www.pl8story.com

- Meet your host - https://www.iwokeupawesome.com

- Subscribe to Trista's PL8STORY Podcast on your favorite app including Spotify, Apple, Audible, Amazon, Google, IHeart Radio, YouTube and more

- Support the Podcast with a free cash back customer account at http://www.shopallthat.com

Transcript -

Welcome. I'm very excited to have this week's guest at Trista's plate story podcast, because of all license plates, you could imagine the license plate, his PODCAST. I mean, it's like I'm looking right in the mirror. Welcome to Trista's plate story podcast, Steve.

Steve Lubetkin: Thanks for having me on.

Trista, Host: Yeah, it's great to have you.

So Steve Lubetkin is from Cherry Hill, New Jersey. Pretty near the Philly area.

Steve Lubetkin: That's right. We're about 12 miles east of Philadelphia.

Trista, Host: Great. And your license plate is PODCAST. You must've had that for a long time to have been able to snag that.

Steve Lubetkin: Yeah, I guess I have, it's probably been about 10 years, I would say maybe a little bit longer.

We've been podcasting for 15 years and a couple of years into our podcasting journey. I said to my wife, you know, I was thinking about getting a vanity plate. She said, well, how much they cost? And I said, 50 bucks, and I think I'm going to get PODCAST. She said, that's terrific. Cause it'll be great for the business.

Yeah. Well, when behold it was available, a New Jersey lets you buy these online. And so I bought it and then shortly after that we bought a couple of others. We got a different car, so I got a license plate for that one. VIDCAST because I thought that the term vidcast was going to start to become very common in the world of video podcasting.

It never really took off. So it was sort of like a, Hmm. It's nice, but it's not wonderful. Then we subsequently got another plate PODCST2 too without the a, so it's, PODC S T 2. And then last year we swapped cars around and one of the cars we retitled for my older daughter who had gotten married and she wanted to put it in her own name and with her husband and so forth.

Trista, Host: That's awesome. Now you said you've been in podcasting for 15

Steve Lubetkin: years. That's right. I actually I like to joke to people I've been in podcasting since I was a teenager which is a lot longer than 15 years, as you can tell.

But I when I was about 15 years old, I got bitten by the radio bug. My father was an instructor at the military base near where we lived and Based where they taught all kinds of communications arts, including for the military people who are going to be on armed forces, radio teaching them how to produce radio shows in a mock up of a radio studio.

And he got me in there one afternoon to play with the control board and learn how to operate a radio station. And I, man, I was. And I went home and I started making pretend radio shows in my parents' basement with a reel to reel tape recorder and a turntable and playing back. These pretend radio shows for my friends and I, while we played chess together, there was no way back in the 1970s to distribute a radio show like that.

And so lo and behold, we get to the podcasting era and I'm still making pretend radio shows in the basement and differences that I can now actually sell them to people and produce them for clients and distribute them over the internet.

Trista, Host: Yeah. I mean, what do you like the first podcast ever to go out 15 years?

When did podcasting start? Was it 15 years ago or was it.

Steve Lubetkin: It's it's about that time. Historically, and I go back to the early days of the internet and technology and in fact, In the dark ages of 1977, I was a rock and roll music writer for a local newspaper in New Jersey. In, in that year people who are listening who are grateful dead fans may remember September 3rd, 1977 was a legendary, grateful dead concert.

It was one of the last of the Woodstock era, rock and roll. Concerts with over a hundred thousand people who congregated in a central New Jersey town called English. For this concert, that included performances by the new riders of the purple Sage and the Marshall Tucker band followed by the grateful dead.

So it was a big deal in the, in the municipality. I was sent with another reporter to cover the concert and we used what was then a portable computer. That was about three times the size of the screen and about 70 pounds, which we carried to this concert and they dropped us by helicopter at the venue.

And then we realized we had to not only find a place to plug it into AC power, cause it didn't work on batteries, but there also had to be. There was no internet then. And we had to file our stories by plugging into the phone, but it was okay. It was actually the first rock concert that was covered using a portable computer of some sort, as far as I can tell, I've never seen any other reference to that kind of thing.

So, you know, I go back that far. If you come a little bit further forward in the early days of the internet people started hanging audio files off of websites in the mid 1990s. And at that time I was working for a financial services firm on walls. And we were producing conference calls for investors to listen to where they could hear the financial analysts who are from employees, talking about the rationale for why they rated companies in different ways.

And we started producing those conference calls as a web streamed audio, and then putting the web stream to audio. Up on the website for people to listen to the replay that was in like 1995. So we were doing it a lot fairly early on. It didn't really become podcasting until around 2003, 2004, when a fella From MTV named Adam Curry became a very popular, he was one of the first VJ's on MTV.

Trista, Host: I know, I remember him

Steve Lubetkin: and there's may remember that when MTV actually played music videos and Curry was an early adopter of the internet and he came up with the idea of using building a website for MTV. And he, you know, I imagine. The conversation went, something like this, you know, long haired, MTV VJ, Adam Curry goes to the suits at MTV at HBO corporate or wherever it was and says, Hey, we should have this thing called a website and I can put up playlists and I can put up stuff about bands and concerts and things.

And they said, just go back and play some music, you know, leave us alone. And Adam went out and he bought the domain. MTV.com. And he started the website. He did it himself and it became very popular. And then a couple of years went by and there was a landmark case in Chicago where someone had purchased the domain name McDonald's dot com.

Okay. That wasn't the burger. And the burger chain sued. And in the landmark decision, the court said you can't cyber squat was the term that was used. Cybersquatting you can't buy someone's domain name. If, if they have a trademark on the name that you're basing it on. And so MTV at that point realized that they didn't own mtv.com and.

The upshot was that Curry ended up leaving MTV right around that time. And MTV got the website, but Curry partnered with a guy named Dave Weiner who was an internet technology. Who had invented something called RSS, really simple syndication, which is the way that a lot of internet content is even today, still distributed to people.

You get an alert in a RSS reader. If something new comes along, that you're interested in, but what a Curry and Weiner came up with was a way to point those RSS. Readers to content like audio and video without actually pushing the audio and video files out over the internet. One of the early companies that tried to do this was a company called Pointcast, which they gave away a piece of software.

You put on your computer and you could customize it to deliver news to you, including video and audio. The problem was every client. Every piece of software that was distributed, pulled down its own separate blob of rich content of audio and video. And once it started hitting corporate firewalls and they realized how much traffic was hitting them, they started blocking it and the business model went away.

White cast couldn't sell advertising if they couldn't get into the corporate environment and get to these multiple sites. So that, that idea of pushing the content to each individual was, was really not going to work. What RSS does is it points you to a location where the file resides. So it doesn't have to send you the file.

It's just sending you basically the URL. For the podcast, sending you the link and that became the way that people distribute. And so if you talk to purists about the definition of a podcast, a podcast is an audio or today a video file that is distributed using RSS technology. Now for the vast majority of people, that really is irrelevant because most people get their podcasts from a podcast.

Service like iTunes or Google podcasts or an app or from the website of the podcast producer.

I have to say, you have earned the right to have PODCAST as your license plate, the word podcast with your, your history lesson. That was very interesting. I didn't know a lot of that. And I had no idea, Adam Curry of all people was kind of the starter of the podcast era that we're in now

he's referred to as the pod father by a lot of people.

All

Trista, Host: right. I did not know that. See, I'm part of this whole culture. And I wasn't aware of the start of it. So now I have a, more of an appreciation of it, which is great. And so when you first started on podcasting, what kinds of things did you do?

Steve Lubetkin: Actually I became interested in it when I was exiting from my corporate career. I spent about 30 years working in corporate public relations jobs. And during that time, because my prior to going into corporate PR, I had worked as a journalist, both as a print journalist and as a broadcast journalist on the radio and loved being on the radio.

But even today, it's very difficult to make a living being on the radio. And so, you know, I went into corporate PR. And spent, you know, all those years, but I always kept my interest in, you know, trying to meet the media where they are. And so as a PR person, I was always trying to produce audio and video clips that I could merchandise to journalists.

I was trying to pitch stories to. And so, you know, when I exited from the corporate world after surviving a couple of large bank mergers, and then ending up on the outside, looking in. This was around 2004, 2005, as luck would have it. My wife had heard an early feature on NPR about podcasting and said, you know, with your radio background, you should really be looking into this podcasting thing.

I think that's where you're going to have. More success. And I listened to the story and then I started listening to some of the early podcasts and what I heard reminded me a lot of how I sounded and how my friends sounded when we were doing college radio. And when you first started college radio, People who have done it will recognize this.

You're very smitten with the idea that you're on the radio and you want to, you're enthusiastic. You want to talk about the microphone you're using. You want to talk about the mixing board. You want to talk about who's in the studio with you. And the reality is nobody cares. They don't care about that stuff.

Play the music, you know, tell me what time it is. Give me the weather. And what I was hearing was okay. What sounded very amateurish, but, but the light bulb went off in my head and said, this could be a really great way for corporations and organizations to distribute their content in an easy to digest format, like a radio show.

But it has to sound good. It, it doesn't have to sound completely professional, but it has to sound a lot more like NPR or the Canadian broadcasting corporation or another professional outlet than like an amateur night product. And so, you know, my, my thing was to learn how to produce digital audio, because I grew up in an analog world.

You know, I grew up when we made recordings on magnetic tape and the tape played in a grease pencil. Yeah. Yeah. You make the edit in the wrong place. You're you're cooked because you didn't have the ability to make copies easily or to go back. So so I had to learn the digital tools and I had to acquire some digital tools and that meant, you know, digital audio recorders and, you know, better microphones.

I had some mix, but not, not the best. And then, you know, as time went on, I needed more and more gear. And after a couple of years, people started asking for video and I had been a photographer. My dad was a photography instructor and taught me some of what he knew. I, you know, I had to go back and start doing video because people wanted videos.

So we added video to the mix and over the years, we've upgraded and upgraded. And about five years ago, my son-in-law built me a TV production studio in the basement of my house, which is where I'm sitting today. And now I can produce live stream videos from bringing together guests from anywhere in the world.

We do that for several clients now . You know, multiple guests and switch it like a regular broadcast cable TV interview show with multiple heads on the screen. And as you can see, I've got the visuals on the screen with my reference points.

And that's the kind of thing that, you know, we've just grown over the years. And, and podcasting has been. A really useful tool for our clients in promoting their expertise, because it gives people an opportunity to listen to the actual thought leaders, the actual subject matter experts talking about the, the topic that's important to them and to their clients.

Trista, Host: Great. And so do you have any shows you personally put out there or are you mostly working for other people producing their product?

Steve Lubetkin: Mostly for other people, but I do have a couple of shows that I do for my own enjoyment. I have a show that I do which has the obnoxiously egotistical name Lubetkin On Communications, which is a podcast where I interview people in journalism and communications, public relations folks about their work.

A show about podcasting. There are plenty of podcasts about podcasts but you know, conversations with people like a, there's a fellow named Charlie who got some national attention, a couple of. Last year he is a, a journalist and community activist in new Brunswick, New Jersey. He was up in the north central part of the state.

And he got himself thrown out of a speech by the woman from the white house press Corps, April. I'm forgetting her last name. The woman who covers the white house for urban, urban radio news. Can't think of her last name, but he got thrown out of the speech and he kept his camera rolling while he was being thrown out by the security people.

And he got some attention for that. So we interviewed him and he's done some great work in terms of investigative journalism at a very hyper-local level. And we've interviewed some other people. I did a video interview with James Steele, the former Philadelphia Inquirer reporter. And a Pulitzer prize winner who with his partner Don Barlett has just, re-issued a book they wrote in the nineties called America, what went wrong.

And the crisis deepens is the subtitle of the new version for where we are today with the pandemic and the economic crisis that we're facing. So we've had some interesting people. And then the other one I do is And that one sort of fits that. Bill is a podcast on books and authors, where I interview different kinds of books and also musical artists.

And that's especially nice when we have an independent artists where we can play their music because most podcasters know it's really hard to get permission to play copyrighted music during the park. And one of the reasons why I can't do the pretend radio shows that I did as a kid is because they would get dinged.

If I tried and I I'd be hearing from somebody.

Trista, Host: I actually had an a guest on the plate story podcast. That's an independent artist and they were fine with me sharing snippets. I didn't. I said, I'm not going to do full songs just for the sake of time as well, but they said, I'll use whatever you want you to let us know if you need better quality files. (SIRSY) they were great about it because they just love connecting with their fans and they love what they do.

Steve Lubetkin: That's interesting, you know, it's, it's, it's an interesting outgrowth of the independent music movement. And really this goes back to the grateful dead, to be honest with you. Back in the early seventies, the dead were one of the first groups and, and still today, the, the successor group to the dead one of the only groups that allows fans to and encourages fans to come and tape their music.

At the concert, they, they actually started in the, in the sixties. I think the dead would rope off a section in front of the stage. They called it the taper section and people would go there with their portable recording equipment and record the, which is why out of, I think there are 2,700 or so grateful, dead live concerts, almost all, all of them are available as a recording, including the one that I covered in 1977.

And they're good quality recordings for the most part. Many of them are even. The recordings made directly from the soundboard of the engineers at the concert. So there's some really good content out there. And they were one of the only ones to understand that they could market themselves in that way.

A lot of other groups are starting to do it independent artists, usually because the record companies really don't like that.

Trista, Host: So you do corporate stuff as well. You have a turnkey podcast production company.

Steve Lubetkin: That's correct. And, and what we found is, you know, companies want to do podcasting, but they don't want to commit the resources to funding a podcasting production operation generally. And it doesn't make sense for most companies to do that.

The media companies like, you know, radio and television production companies, that makes sense because all they have to do is just push another button. For a different kind of output, but for a regular company in say the financial services or the insurance industry it may not make sense for them to have a full-time staffer and what they tend to find out.

They tend to assign the podcasting duties to someone as a second. Responsibility. And it's often not the communications people who get that responsibility. It's often the, it people, it's the people who are taking care of the computers in the company. They're the ones who, who tend to be more interested in gadgetry and trends and things, and podcasting and video tend to be more closely associated with the internet than with communications and broadcasting for summer.

And so what happens is they'll, they'll assign it to an it person. They'll even give them budget money to go out and buy some really nice equipment, cameras, lights, you know, digital recorders, things like that. And they'll go around and record interviews and content and stuff, and then want to go back to their desk to sit down and read and produce it and do the post-production work.

They get pulled away for other duties and it ends up not getting done. And so having an outside turnkey. Production company like mine enables the company to just say, we, you know, here's the podcast, here are the people that are going to be on. You do the recording, edit it, finish it, get it, give it to us.

And you know, we'll react to it and we'll make some edits and we'll be done. And what they get back is a fully finished program that they can then use their channels to distribute. We can help them with that if they need to, but more and more companies already have channels in place that they can use to distribute it.

So we just turn over the file to them and they go off and distribute their product.

Trista, Host: Yeah, absolutely. Now, when we talked before you have a pretty tricked out studio, would you mind for the video Watchers showing off your studio?

Is this video only content. This is not going to be part of the audio parts. If you want to see the studio, you got to see the video.

Now we are coming in for a landing here, but I know you, I wanted to change the topic a little bit. You said when we talked before that you have some very weird stories in your family tree or into genealogy and that kind of thing. So I did not want to wrap up until we had a little chat about that. So tell me about.

Steve Lubetkin: Oh, gosh. Well there, there are a couple, I guess one of them is there's a a first cousin, three generations back from me. So he's first cousin thrice removed who was who was, what, what, at that time they called a confirmed back. And this, this cousin, Aaron was his name. He went by the name, Archy was an interior decorator in New York.

And as I began researching him, it became very obvious that every time he showed up in the census he showed up with a another fellow living as a lodger in his apartment. And over the years, it was very clear that they were together as a couple. They were in a committed relationship for almost 40 years.

And

Trista, Host: before that was even

Steve Lubetkin: discussed. Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. And the fellow that he was involved with was a fairly prominent entertainment lawyer in New York city who threw parties and represented very glamorous artists in the twenties and thirties and forties. And they were, they were quite successful and quite wealthy and they traveled the world and When, when the partner died the partner who had again had been a lawyer made the terrible mistake of writing his own will and he wrote it wrong and he ended up disinheriting without intending to my cousin.

And the bank that was one of the trustees for the estate actually went to court to get a decision. And the court ruled, yes. He wrote it wrong and he shouldn't have, and the money ended up going to a foundation that still exists today. And provides grant money for promising young classical musicians.

And, you know, it took all this information and I sent it to the foundation and said you know, I don't want to cause anybody any trouble or problems probably I've got this information. And I would love to know more about this fellow. And they were amazed at what we had discovered. There were a number of references to them in, you know, various publications.

You know, discreet references. And they said, you know, more than we knew, well, we know is that we've got this pile of money that we give out in grants, but they did put me in touch with with the fellows. I guess niece who had some correspondence and some photos. I mean, these guys went all over the world.

They, they were doing like world tours and bucket list trips long before anybody was doing that kind of stuff. They went to India and rode on elephants. They went to Thailand, they went to just all kinds of exotic places. Wow. So they had a very interesting life together. So that was, you know, probably the most curious one that I found.

We also had another they started as far as I can tell, you know, the, the census records. Quite a ways, but the first evidence I could find of them together was around 1920. Wow. So they, they were together from around 1920 through the mid fifties when, when both of them passed. So you know, really just an interesting story and interesting side.

Yeah. Yeah, it was kind of, it's one of those things I would love to research if I had the funds and the ability to sit in the library because a lot of the records are probably not digitized out through a lot of paper records to do any kind of serious research.

Trista, Host: That could be a fun podcast. There's a podcast I saw recently where they talk about the.

Relationships between women. So like a prominent woman and then a woman that was important in their life somehow like maybe a family member or whatever, and you never hear about that other person, but they were a very significant part of why the prominent one came to be so prominent. So I always find those stories.

Interesting. The things that are underneath the public information. Sure. Absolutely. That's

Steve Lubetkin: fine. That's what adds and adds a greater understanding to, you know, how we got to where we are. Yes,

Trista, Host: exactly. Awesome. What's been so fun having you on. I always like to turn the tables and see if you have a question for me. So is there a question you'd like to ask me before we wrap up

Steve Lubetkin: and what was the strangest vanity plate that you have encountered so far?

Trista, Host: Hmm. You know, I see so many, I'll tell you one of my favorite.

That is strange. It's I T H 5 and it's on a Jeep and the frame, the license plate frame around it is upside down and says happens at the bottom. And so if you. Look at the plate right. Upside down. Right. And I'm like, oh my God, that's so clever and odd. And not at all

Steve Lubetkin: expected. That's the skirt, the the rules against you know, obscenity is on license plates.

There was a there was a clergyman whose last name was hooker and he wanted to get his last name on his license plate and they rejected him several times. I want to put hooker on the license.

Trista, Host: I do something called plate spotting. Where, when I have a few extra minutes, I'll drive around a parking lot, looking for vanity license plates, take pictures of them.

If it's not a pandemic, I'll leave them a postcard for them to be on the show. If they'd like,

Steve Lubetkin: I hadn't thought of that.

Trista, Host: Yeah. And one of them, I saw recently it was in a parking lot of a grocery store near where I live and it was A K four D 7 -AK 47. Oh no. And I thought, I wonder if the D is in there so it could pass the auto generated and it was interesting that they got away with that plate. And but it's, it, it creates a reaction for sure.

Steve Lubetkin: I was in the I was on my way to meet my wife for lunch one day. And in the parking lot, there was a license plate that was wicked. Without, without a lot of the vowels, but wicked wizard. So I took a picture of it and I walked 10 feet and there was another car park that was wicked witch I think they're together.

Yeah. It was husband and wife. Well, certainly, you know, meeting for lunch, just like we were, but yeah. Yeah, the combination

Trista, Host: I, I have old, which I found that one in a parking lot recently.

Steve Lubetkin: There's also a car driving around New Jersey with the license plate covert op.

Trista, Host: I just find those. So funny, a friend of mine sent me a New Jersey plate and the plate says, I'm famous.

And I'm like, if you are famous, you don't need it. I played to tell people, plus it's this beater cars, clearly, it's someone who's famous in the future, in their, you know, goals and dreams. But I find those irony plates to be particularly interesting. So it sounds like you're into license plates, not just on your own car, but like I am, you kind of tend to collect.

Steve Lubetkin: Oh, yeah. Yeah. As a matter of fact, I was, I was looking for these pictures today, before we got on the, on the air. And I, I found several of the others that I had collected that I'd forgotten about. Oh, nice. I have a flicker feed of vanity plates and I'm going to add some of them to it. Well, if you,

Trista, Host: yeah, I was going to say, if you ever have any that you think I might enjoy, definitely send them along.

They may end up on my Instagram and Facebook feed. I definitely have people send me pictures they see, and I always say, make sure you're safe. Don't do it while you're driving. It's so tempting driving behind somebody and you want to catch that plate.

Let's be safe. Do it at a light or in a parking lot. Yeah. Yeah. That's advice for everyone. Cause it's tempting. I know it is. I've been there,

Steve Lubetkin: like those commercials that, you know, they want you to go on a, on a trip somewhere and they show somebody cliff diving in Hawaii and it says, do not attempt. Yes,

Trista, Host: exactly.

Do not attempt. It's been so fun having you on. I really appreciate you being here, Steve. Thanks for joining me and sharing your plates story. Do you have any last words or last advice from you to an independent like myself?

Steve Lubetkin: I would just say keep podcasting and you know, if you think it's going to help you buy the book.

It's the business of podcasting.com is the website.

Trista, Host: I bet that's a great tool for anyone who has a podcast or is thinking of having a podcast or even getting into the production side. So I'm glad you shared

Steve Lubetkin: that

Trista, Host: I hope you have a great rest of your day and I'll see you out there on the road.

Thank you very

Steve Lubetkin: much. Take care.

If you enjoyed this episode, please drop a review and give us a share. I'm Trista Polo wishing you well on the road to your next adventure.

Guided Hypnosis to Elevate Creativity

trista@iwokeupawesome.com (Trista Polo) — Fri, 23 Jul 2021 19:48:06 GMT

Guided Hypnosis for Creativity

This is a guided hypnosis meditation to help support you in deepening your connection to your subconscious. It will allow you to explore your creativity both in a subconscious and conscious state.

Use this meditation every time you are preparing to write or create. Use it to help release writers block. It can be used once or each time you are ready to focus on something creative.

You will have access to your subconscious creative glow with the help of spirit guides, if you choose to use them.

EWW DV1D - Plate 64 - Trista's PL8STORY Podcast

trista@iwokeupawesome.com (Trista Polo) — Mon, 19 Jul 2021 04:15:02 GMT

EWW DV1D Plate 64 with Schitt's Creek Fan Sam from Wisconsin

Watch on Video below or Listen on Anchor

Schitt's Creek fans - you don't want to miss this episode! Learn why my guest, Sam from Wisconsin, loves the show so much and why it resonates with her so deeply. In addition to a Schitt's Creek fan, Sam is a wife, mom and advocate in health care and social justice. She loves kickboxing, reading and being outside. Let's meet Sam!

Connect with Trista's PL8STORY Podcast:

- Nominate a plate - https://www.pl8story.com

- Meet your host - https://www.iwokeupawesome.com

- Subscribe to Trista's PL8STORY Podcast on Apple Podcast (http://bit.ly/itunespl8story), Google Podcast, Spotify or your favorite podcast app and access all published episodes

- Support the Podcast with a free cash back customer account at www.shopallthat.com

EWW DV1D Episode Transcript:

EWW DV1D

Trista, Host: [00:00:00] Welcome to this week's episode of Trista's PL8STORY (Plate Story) Podcast. I'm Trista Polo from iwokeupawesome.com and I am your host. Each week, we learn the story behind that vanity plate. You know, the one you saw driving down the road... what did it say? What did it mean? Why did they choose it?

Welcome to Trista's plate story podcast. I'm super excited today to have Samantha from Wisconsin. Her license plate is very fun. It is EWW DV1D. Welcome Samantha.

Sam, Guest: [00:00:32] Hi, thank you for having me.

Trista, Host: [00:00:34] Absolutely. I'm so glad to have you. Now I have to share the story of how we got connected. I was on Facebook and a police officer had posted your car because he was so enthralled with your license plate as a huge fan of the show it comes from and I'm like, oh my gosh, I must be connected. And he actually connected us.

Sam, Guest: [00:00:57] Yeah, that was a really interesting way to get connected. And I mean, it kind of blew up. The police officer shared it and then one of our news channels picked it up here.

Oh, crazy.

Trista, Host: [00:01:09] That's awesome. Now what part of Wisconsin are you from?

Sam, Guest: [00:01:13] I'm from the south Eastern part of Wisconsin in Muskego, which is kind of near Milwaukee, right?

Trista, Host: [00:01:20] Awesome. Well, that's great. Now not everybody probably knows that quote, although it is a very famous quote. So why don't you tell us what inspired you to choose that as your license plate? Tell us the story behind it.

Sam, Guest: [00:01:35] So during COVID I was very just like down in the dumps and I needed a good pick me up show. And some of my old coworkers were talking about Schitt's Creek and I tried to watch it once and I'm watched the first episode and I was like, I don't know if I can get into it. And then. I watched it again.

And I was like, all right, I'm in. So I binged the entire six seasons within not even two weeks. And the moment I was done, I had already purchased a blanket. Most Schitt's Creek all over it. Some mugs, some coloring books David's looking sunglasses. Just everything. And my husband was like, oh my gosh.

And then even my ten-year-old daughter was like, you are obsessed mom. And then I was like, I'm going to get a license plate. And then I went back and forth on which one I should do and I was going to do THRICE. And then I was like, no, I just really liked that Eww David. So that's how I ended up choosing it, but it became an obsession and I still watch it over and over again.

Trista, Host: [00:02:48] You do. I have things that I do watch over and over again. I'm curious, you know, you watch that first episode. I had that reaction when I watched the first couple I'm like, what is it is the excitement about what this show?

I don't really get it, but it's sort of like got in my space. It got under my skin. And it became something my husband and I would watch right before we went to bed every night. We'd watch a couple of episodes before we went to bed and we really enjoyed watching it together. What do you think it was for you that had you go from ...I don't know that I'm really going to get into this show to being such a huge fan.

Sam, Guest: [00:03:26] So when I watched the first episode, the second time, I really like honed into David's character and because I just, I loved him. Like from the moment I heard him talk and then to watch his reaction to everything during that first episode, then I was like, okay, I want more of this character.

Specifically him and I love Eugene Levy. So I mean, and Catherine O'Hara like, I love them especially together. So I was like, all right, I'm going to give this a chance. And then after the first couple episodes, I was just hooked in. I didn't stop. And my husband even was like, are you going to wait for me to watch the episodes?

And I was like, sorry, like, oh, I played it while I was working. And I listened to it on my way home. And so, yeah, I didn't wait for him.

Trista, Host: [00:04:18] No, sometimes you just can't, you know, sometimes you just can't wait,

Sam, Guest: [00:04:24] I'd watch it on my phone before I would go to bed. And all of a sudden I'd be like, so I'm on the next season.

He's like, are we, are we not doing this together? And I was like, no,

Trista, Host: [00:04:34] so did he end up watching the whole season or the whole series by himself?

Sam, Guest: [00:04:39] No. So he watched with me and then. I would catch him up and he'd be like, well, wait, what's going on? And then he got really into it. And I mean, there were moments where he shed some tears. I was like sobbing. Like there are just, there will always be. Moments of that show that will get me every time.

And I will rewatch my favorite episodes over and over. I got a tattoo based on one of the, my favorite episodes. So it's just,

Trista, Host: [00:05:07] yeah. Tell me about your tattoo.

Sam, Guest: [00:05:10] So my tattoo is an olive branch. And then underneath the olive branch, it says simply the best from season four. The olive branch episode where David sings to Patrick and every time I just, it gets me, I will, I will cry every time I watch that episode.

Trista, Host: [00:05:30] Yeah. I love that. I really did love when David and Patrick got together. I loved watching that unfold and the whole relationship of theirs.

Sam, Guest: [00:05:41] Absolutely that that might be my favorite and him and Stevie. So even though, you know, at first it was kind of like, well, wait, is he gay? Is he, is he BI? And then, you know, it was well I'm into the wine, not the label.

And you know, it just, it just kinda went from there. And Patrick and David's love story, I think is my, one of my favorite love stories I've ever seen in him. Yeah.

Trista, Host: [00:06:07] Yeah. They really did a great job with that. And that's the thing I think I like about the show so much is it has so much heart, even though the, the family, the what's their last name.

Sam, Guest: [00:06:20] The Roses.

Trista, Host: [00:06:21] Thank you. Even though the, the Rose family is like selfish and rich and, you know, elitist and entitled, just all these terrible things that you just don't like about people. When they're like that they have so much heart that you're rooting for them. And you're watching them learn lessons and grow into three dimensional people with you know, just love at the center of it all. And I think that's probably what sold me on the show is when I saw that it was much more than just a terrible family, having terrible things happen to them, which is sort of how it felt when I first started watching it.

Sam, Guest: [00:07:03] Absolutely. And you, and you look at it and maybe that's what turned me off the first episode, when I first watched it, I was like, okay. I don't like.

That's at me, like I'm not, you know, the elite, you know, so it was like, I, how do I compare to myself? Like,

how do I relate to these people?

Right here we go. That's the word I was looking for. There's no relating to them. So I was kind of turned off by that. But then, like you said, throughout the show, you know, one of my other favorite episodes was when Myraand Johnny went to dinner with Roman.

And they had their, like, it was their anniversary or whatever, and their old friends were there and they stood up for the Schitts and it was like, yes, there was like a turning point. And I cried because you were so connected to the family already. And then it was just that moment of, okay, there's the good people coming out and, you know, because so much, even right now in society, Everyone is judgmental and not everyone, but you know, there there's so much judgment going on.

And so to see that and to see that these people that never would have been friends with Joscelyn and Rolland, standing up for them, like, I mean, that just was, it just hit home really, really hard for

Trista, Host: [00:08:31] me. Yeah. I agree. I remember that episode as well. And, you know, it's a pretty common storyline to show how far someone has come as a character in a show, but they did really, really good job with it.

Now, your actual license plate isn't Schitt's Creek. It's EWW DV1D. And so can you enlighten those of us who don't know the show as well? The background of that exact phrase.

Sam, Guest: [00:08:59] Sure. So Alexis Rose started that Ewww David, and, you know, it's funny because I think there was a count of how many times she actually said it and it wasn't that many, but it was other phrases that she would say like, oh, David, or just random things.

So, but the, you, David just stuck with me because he he's just my favorite and I, his character resonates with me so much. So even though it's an Alexis quote, There's so much about him within that, that it just, it just worked for me.

Trista, Host: [00:09:37] Yes. Yes. I think it's funny that you say that she didn't actually say that specific phrase very often, and yet it is synonymous with.

Oh, yeah, it totally is. If you know the show, you can picture her saying at her, her facial expression, you can hear the intonation, not just the words, but how she says them and anybody who says the phrase that has seen the show knows that you don't just say, oh, David, you say, yo, David, like, yeah, let's say it with that special juice to it.

Right? Exactly.

Sam, Guest: [00:10:12] I think there's like a YouTube video where it shows all the different ways that she said it. So there was that Ewww David, and then there was the stop David and David. It didn't even matter, but it was just the, Ewww stuck. So yeah, I think that's why that's what I picked.

Trista, Host: [00:10:29] Yeah. I love it. Okay.

So we've talked a lot about Schitt's Creek. Let's talk a little bit about you. Tell me a little more about you.

Sam, Guest: [00:10:36] So I am, I'm a mom of two. I have a 10 year old and I have a eight 19 month old, you know, it's like a year and a half.

I don't do the month and a half. And then my 10 year old is my daughter. And I do have a husband who actually adopted my daughter so that we have a full family now. And it's great. We moved into our house four years ago, actually in June now. So we've been in this community for a while and I have a lot of passion for helping people.

I work in the human service field and it, that is my passion. I want to help people better themselves. I want to make sure that I'm putting all of me into other people. Sometimes I end up forgetting about myself, but you know, it just exactly that that's just my passion. And, you know, I have a lot of passion for equal rights and social justice and a lot of the different movements that are going on in our society right now.

So I'm very, very versed in that. And that's something that I really, I really care about. I just found out actually that Pride Fest is coming back in October in Milwaukee, is it is. And it's huge. Because it, we haven't had it in two years now because of COVID. So the fact that they're bringing it back just for a weekend in October is really cool, but that's another one of my passions is the LGBTQ community.

So.

Trista, Host: [00:12:13] Yes, I'm in New York and they did have an outside I'm in Hudson valley. So I'm like an hour and a half, two hours north of New York city. But in New York city, they had a live pride parade for the first time, since the pandemic and pride month. Yeah. And it was huge and amazing. And I wasn't there personally, but I loved seeing all my friends there and sharing all the pictures that the, that they took while they were, they were in that space.

So, yeah. That's exciting. Are you going to be there? You, do you volunteer for that event or do you attend?

Sam, Guest: [00:12:48] I'm going to go. And one of my friends does volunteer work for them. So she's going to get me in on the volunteer list this year. So I'll be helping out. So my free mom hugs. Oh, okay.

Trista, Host: [00:13:05] Mom hugs are the best hugs.

So they are, yes. Especially someone like you who loves to care and give to other people. I bet that's like an, a mom hug plus.

Sam, Guest: [00:13:17] Absolutely. And. There are days where like, someone will tell a story or, you know, I'll be listening to, I've gone to some speakers before and stuff. And I listen to all these stories that get brought up and, you know, after I'll go up to them and be like, can I give you a hug?

You know? And I'll just squeeze them because it's like, you've been through so much. Let me just give you a hug. Like, it's just, there's so many great stories that, you know, we don't always hear about.

Trista, Host: [00:13:46] And we can do that

Sam, Guest: [00:13:47] now. Right? Wait, I missed that. I bet.

Trista, Host: [00:13:53] I bet I will admit to being, it turns out I'm a closet hermit. So that sounds sort of weird, but I'm a very outgoing, gregarious person. I'm a people person. I'm always out at the events. But during the pandemic, I actually learned about myself that I'm a closet hermit, like deep, deep inside. I really would just rather be home

Sam, Guest: [00:14:16] and I'm opposite. I think I learned like, as much as I like being home and I like the peace and quiet and like just kind of having the lazy days.

I love being around people like just the energy and yeah.

Trista, Host: [00:14:34] I think we all learned really like who we really are at the core and over the pandemic. Right. Cause you got to see like how comfortable were you being in the same environment every day away from people you're used to seeing. And I think we really got to see who we truly are at the core during that

Sam, Guest: [00:14:53] time when it was, it was hard for me because we, so I stayed at my parents' house overnight pretty much every night.

Because it was easier with my little one, you know, my mom would babysit him, so I would wake up. I walked downstairs to their basement, I'd start working. It had been over a year that we had been doing that. So I was moving back and forth between my house and my parent's house every week.

Wow. Out of the suitcase. And so. In preparation for Monday this week, I'm back in the office. Full-time so, wow.

An adjustment.

Trista, Host: [00:15:32] How are you feeling about that?

Sam, Guest: [00:15:34] I don't know yet. I'm excited to see people Like going from zero to a hundred is going to be an adjustment. I think

Trista, Host: [00:15:42] I agree with you. Yeah, for sure. So I am a self-worth advocate. I talk a lot about that with my coaching clients. And I would love to hear in your life, how has self-worth played a role what have you done to manage yourself worth?

Sam, Guest: [00:15:58] Absolutely. So I, when I was younger, I really, really, really struggled with depression and anxiety. And I mean, I had issues where, you know, Cut my wrists. And I would be just all in my head. And then there were days where I'd be like, I don't want to be here anymore.

And then, you know, I, I eventually got more out of that when I hit like sophomore year of high school. And I think a lot of it was, I just didn't know who I was and I didn't know where I belonged and I didn't know who I was supposed to become. Which, I mean, when we're younger we don't know that, but I think I really had a really hard time with it.

It runs in my family where my grandma was bipolar and he actually died by suicide, but there's just, I was very confused and, you know, that went into my adult years at first, you know, I struggled with my sexuality. I'm bisexual. I ideal, or so I have been with women and I've been with men and, you know, that was hard to grasp.

We have come a long way in the LGBTQ community, but it took me so long to even say it out loud because it was so looked down upon. And I couldn't understand why. And it was just, but so then that was part of my self too. It was like, okay, this isn't right. I'm not right. I'm not, you know, I'm not worthy. I don't, this is I, I messed up.

I'm different and it's, it's not the right way to be. So I tried to change myself and that didn't work either. So eventually I just was like, you know what, here, this is who I am. This is me. And if you don't like it. You can just get lost.

Trista, Host: [00:17:57] That's amazing. Especially when, even in the LBGTQ community, bisexuality was like the black sheep. Like if you aren't actually gay. Then you are, there's something wrong with you? Like it's fake or something. There was this whole thing, like, like it wasn't okay to be bisexual for a really long time.

Correct. Even in that community.

Sam, Guest: [00:18:24] Correct. , it was either, Nope, you're either gay or you're straight.

There was no in between. And I'm like, okay, but what about me? I am both. And I don't know, I don't know how to handle that. And you know, there were some of my friends that were so have you always been this way? There were a lot of people that judged me for it. And it was just kind of like whatever. My mother-in-law saw my post one day on Facebook and she called my husband. It was, do you know that Sam is Bi? He was like, yeah, mom.

But, so it was just, it's just, I've become a lot more vocal about it now because of the way that things are headed. And I think that's me also like being that ally. For others that are in the same boat, because I mean, my cousin just came out as BI. My other one did like, they're all starting to come out now.

And so I'm just saying, Hey, it's okay. It's okay to be different. You know, it just, it's hard.

Trista, Host: [00:19:27] We still have a ways to go. I actually have a friend that posted an article. She's a writer. And she founded an organization called the TMI project. Her name is Eva Tenuto and she just did an article about she's married to a woman.

And so people assume that she's a lesbian and she's not. She's like, I am not a lesbian. That's the title of the article. And of course you're like, wait, but you're married to a woman. How is that possible? Because your mind makes assumptions. Like we like to label and categorize and put people in boxes.

So our brain can understand it. And you know, it took a long time, I think, for society to be okay with being gay. Now we have to figure out somebody who's neither or both, or even asexual, like there are so many different ways people identify that they're finally willing to be truthful to themselves and the world about. I think we need to find a better pronoun than may, because that's just confusing to people because it's like a plural versus a singular.

But I'm so glad we have ways for people to say, this is me. This is how I want to be addressed. This is who I am. And like there's space for that now.

Sam, Guest: [00:20:45] There is, I was just at a resort and there was it. The bathroom didn't have men or women on it. It just said gender neutral. Oh, thank you.

Like there's finally, you know, and there's so many arguments about that too. Like, well, if this person identifies as a woman, you know, should they be able to be in a woman? I'm like, oh my goodness. Like we're all in a stall. Doesn't really matter.

Trista, Host: [00:21:14] In fact, when I go to a place. That has a men's room and a women's room, I'm like, do you know what year it is? I feel like it's sort of antiquated now to have two different gender rooms and it's only men and women.

Sam, Guest: [00:21:31] Yep. We have to start telling our

kids that it's okay to

Trista, Host: [00:21:35] we do. It starts when you're young, for sure. And you know, I definitely learned tolerance in my own home before I ever even got to school. Right. For race and sexual orientation and, you know, religion differences.

I remember my grandparents. I w I F I think my grandfather was Catholic and my grandmother was Protestant. I feel like that's what it was. And he was forbidden for marrying her because she wasn't Catholic because she was Protestant. And so there's a lot of ways that you can be discriminatory against people.

And because of that, like they got married anyway and had three children and all of us grandkids and great grandkids have come along since. But there's, I think that the tolerance started from there love, you know, like we love each other no matter what, and that has permeated into my whole family, which I'm so grateful for, because I do think that comes, that starts when they're little, little kids.

Sam, Guest: [00:22:38] Absolutely. So, I mean, I know in my job, like we have people that are married that are gay and they don't say anything about it because they're worried and it's like, okay, cool. Hope you guys are happy. That's all that really matters.

Trista, Host: [00:22:57] That's right. It's hard enough to be happy when you're married to after then feel like you have to hide it or some, you know, because you feel like you're going to be judged, like to love each other in the face of external challenges.

Like there's enough internal challenges when you're married. Correct. And addkids to the mix and money to the mix and decisions about big things like houses and things. And there's just enough to have to have to deal with without having to worry about what the outside world will think of. You. So I really honor people who choose love.

They just choose love no matter what. And they know that that love will get them through whatever they face internal or external. Correct.

Sam, Guest: [00:23:44] Yeah. And that I think is what resonates with me so much about David's character, because that is how he, he. There was him and Stevie, then there was him and Patrick and you know, then his and Stevie's relationship turned into this amazing best friendship.

And, you know, at first you're like, you're rooting for them to end up together, but then you realize like, it's okay. They both are. They're both their own person. They both are into the wine, not the label. So they. That resonates with me so much because you could just see like, Hey, we have a, we have someone who is gay on, on a TV show that like our children are even watching.

My daughter was watching it with me. And, but they're not even just gay. They're the black sheep, but they are Bi and look at, oh, he was with the woman now he's with a man. Like, it just was like that validation. So I think that it just that in general, the show being out there and Dan levy just like budding all of his emotion into that character that says a lot and our children are seeing it.

And I mean, there were parents writing into him just telling him, like you changed my kid's life. Like you made him feel okay that he could be different. And it just. I think that's what the show did for

people. Yeah, I love that. I think that's a great place for us to kind of round into full circle in the conversation.

Trista, Host: [00:25:26] Oh yeah. Sorry. I'm it's good. It's perfect. It's called a callback and comedy. Very good. Stuff. Good job.

I should go be a standup

comedian. No, I was going to say it's time for you to go on the road. Just add that to the pile of things that you manage on a weekly basis. No problem. No problem. So I know you love books. I know you love podcasts, any particular books or podcasts that you've been enjoying that you'd like to recommend.

Sam, Guest: [00:25:56] I am obsessed with creme junkies and counter clock. Both of them are all about crime. I could sit and listen. I mean, we just went on a road trip up north and it was like a five and a half hour drive.

And I made my mom listened to them while we were driving up and she started getting into it. And even my daughter, we were listening to a series and she was like, well, I want to know what happens. I don't think he actually did it. And so it was, it's cool that she's kind of getting into it. Which, which is nice.

Trista, Host: [00:26:27] Well, I want to thank you so much for sharing yourself. Like, I really feel like you shared your heart and yourself with us today.

So thank you for that. I do like to turn the tables and ask if you have a question you'd like to ask me before we wrap up. Hmm. Anything,

Sam, Guest: [00:26:45] where is your favorite vacation spot? And what's your favorite hobby when you go to those vacations? Or, or activity, not hobby, you know what I

Trista, Host: [00:26:59] meant activity. Yeah. So I'm not really a lay on the beach and read a book kind of girl.

So I think my two favorite things to do when I travel are to either go to like an amusement park. Like my honeymoon was in Disney, my 10th anniversary. We went back to Disney, my 25th anniversary. We were the very first day it opened, we went to the new Lego land park, which is actually only like 30 minutes from here.

Oh, cool. Yeah. So we were there the very first day they opened, there were like 40 people in the whole park. The whole park wasn't even opened yet. It was sort of like a pre opening. But I also really super love to gamble. I love to play craps. That's my favorite, love a little blackjack, a little poker slots.

My husband's pretty into roulette. He thinks he has a roulette system. I'm pretty sure that that's not possible, but he thinks he does hello. So we'll go to Atlantic city with family or we'll go to Vegas for, for a little vacation. So I would have to say those are my favorite kinds of things to do,

Sam, Guest: [00:28:11] but that's still like, like Vegas, that's still busy, you know, so

Trista, Host: [00:28:16] yeah, exactly.

I almost need a vacation when I'm done going away.

Sam, Guest: [00:28:21] Right? Exactly.

Trista, Host: [00:28:22] Well, I want to thank you so much. Do you have any final words or thoughts that you want to share before we end

Sam, Guest: [00:28:28] that everyone should watch Schitt's Creek. Okay, great.

Trista, Host: [00:28:31] For anybody out there who didn't get past the first or second episode, because you're like, I can not relate to these people. Get past it. There's a reason it's been so popular. If you are the one holdout left that has not watched this show go do it.

Absolutely. Awesome. Thank you so much fun. Yes. All right. Talk to you soon.

Sam, Guest: [00:28:57] All right. Thank you.

Trista, Host: [00:28:59] Thank you for joining us for this week's episode of Trista's PL8STORY podcast. Please subscribe to Trista's PL8STORY podcast to get the story behind all those vanity plates, driving with you on the road. And if you would like to nominate the owner of a license plate, including you... Or visit any of our partners and sponsors come and see us www.pl8story.com. That's P L number eight story.com and give us the details.

If you enjoyed this episode, please drop a review and give us a share. I'm Trista Polo wishing you well on the road to your next adventure.

15 Ways to Be More Comfortable During Meditation

trista@iwokeupawesome.com (Trista Polo) — Wed, 14 Jul 2021 20:36:04 GMT

15 ways to be more comfortable when you meditate

If you have trouble meditating it may not be your mind chatter that is getting in your way. If your body is tense, stressed, inflamed or tired it could impact your ability to get comfortable and stay that way for a period of time. This can really impact your ability to stay relaxed and in the clarity of mind to create the space for effective meditation.

Here are some steps you can take to prepare for your meditation, that can help make your session more effective and enjoyable.

Stay active. Ugh. Aren’t you tired of being told to move your body more? Yea. Here it is again. Getting regular movement keeps your body supple and relaxed. You’re less likely to tense up and will enjoy more comfort head to toe when sitting in the same position for an extended period of time.
Stretch It Out. Warm ups and cool downs are not just for running or other exercise. They can really help your body stay pain-free when you are sitting still in a meditative pose.
Eat light. I definitely don’t recommend pizza before a meditation session! LOL If you’re hungry, eat something light that will not put your digestive system into overdrive. Try drinking a glass of water instead of eating - if your meditation session is 10-20 minutes, it shouldn’t create too many hunger pains.
Limit alcohol and caffeine. Depressants and stimulants affect both your body and mind. Take prescription medications as directed, but limit other substances that can make you foggy or jittery.
Dress down. If you are taking a meditation break at work in the office, that’s one thing. But if you are in a place you can dress for the occasion then I recommend wearing comfortable stretchy clothes that aren’t too tight. Something you would sleep in, do yoga in or even have a lazy Saturday in.

Steps To Take During Your Meditation Session

Scan your body. Start out by checking in with your body from head to foot. Breathe deeply through your nose. Become aware of any spots that are tense or uncomfortable. Imagine your breath is healing them.
Minimize saliva. Our mouths produce saliva all the time but it can feel more conspicuous when you’re meditating. Pressing your tongue lightly against the roof of your mouth inhibits any excess.
Rest your arms and hands. Bend your elbows and place your hands in your lap cupped together with the palms upturned. If you prefer, you can rest them at your sides.
Lower your shoulders. Stress often shows up in raised shoulders. Gently lower them and press them back. This will bring your chest forward and make it easier to breathe deeply.
Lift your head. Hold your head up and slightly forward. This will take pressure off your neck.
Support your feet. Uncross your legs and place your feet flat on the floor if you’re sitting in a chair. If you’re sitting on the floor, center them in front of you.
Relax your eyes. Avoid eye strain and visual distractions by softening your vision. You can close your eyes or keep the lids barely open. Allow yourself to remain aware of your general surroundings without honing in on any individual item.
Shift positions. It’s okay to move anytime you feel stiff or uneasy. Settle into a new position and resume your meditation. Retrace your recent thoughts if your attention gets pulled away temporarily.
Get a chair. Unless you grew up in a monastery, sitting on the floor for long periods may be difficult at first. Pull up a chair. Pick a style with a flat seat and straight back that allows your feet to reach the floor.
Walk around. Walking meditation is great for beginners or as a supplement to your seated practice. When your body needs a break from sitting, you can continue your thoughts as you pace indoors or out.

Staying fit and maintaining good posture will enrich your meditation practice. When your body is comfortable, you’ll be able to sit longer and experience fewer distractions as you develop greater peace of mind.

GH 10 - Plate 63 - Trista's PL8STORY Podcast

trista@iwokeupawesome.com (Trista Polo) — Sun, 20 Jun 2021 19:09:40 GMT

GH 10 - Plate 63 with guest Greg Hill, Football Coach and Hall of Fame Member

Greg Hill resides in Georgia and is originally from FL. He was 1999 Division 1-AA National Champion at Georgia Southern University and

2010 Hall of Fame Inductee GSU. His license plate represents his jersey number and his early successes. Today he is changing the lives of the children he coaches by teaching them mental toughness and team work. Let's meet Greg!

Connect with Trista's PL8STORY Podcast:

- Nominate a plate - https://www.pl8story.com

- Meet your host - https://www.iwokeupawesome.com

- Subscribe to Trista's PL8STORY Podcast on Apple Podcast (http://bit.ly/itunespl8story), Google Podcast, Spotify or your favorite podcast app and access all published episodes

- Support the Podcast with a free cash back customer account at www.shopallthat.com

REX23 - Plate 62 - Trista's PL8STORY Podcast with Laura Wasson Warfel

trista@iwokeupawesome.com (Trista Polo) — Mon, 17 May 2021 16:11:15 GMT

REX23 - Plate 62 - Trista's PL8STORY Podcast with Guest Laura Wasson Warfel

Laura's personalized plate has been in her family for over 50 years! She shares how it was selected and what it means to her family. Laura found her calling as a writer and is the founder and Chief Encouragement Officer for More Than A Widow. She supports widows in starting over, reinventing themselves and navigating a new normal. She shares some wonderful stories in this episode and offers advice both for widows and those that love them. Learn more about Laura at www.laurawarfel.com.

Connect with Laura:

Facebook: @MoreThanAWidow

Twitter: @lwwarfel

Instagram: @lwwarfel

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/laurawarfel/

Connect with Trista's PL8STORY Podcast:

- Nominate a plate - https://www.pl8story.com

- Meet your host - https://www.iwokeupawesome.com

- Subscribe to Trista's PL8STORY Podcast on Apple Podcast (http://bit.ly/itunespl8story), Google Podcast, Spotify or your favorite podcast app and access all published episodes

- Support the Podcast with a free cash back customer account at www.shopallthat.com

Episode Transcript

REX23

Laura Wasson Warfel: [00:00:29] Hi Trista. Good to see you. It's great to be a guest. Yeah,

Trista, Host: [00:00:33] it's wonderful to have you. Thanks so much for being on. I'd love to hear the story behind your vanity plate.

Laura Wasson Warfel: [00:00:39] My father Rex Wasson was a real estate broker in our small town in Southern Illinois. And one of the services he offered to attract business to his office was what they called back then. It was this, this is the 1970s quick license service. So people would come in and order their license plates. And then he had a runner that would go to our state Capitol and pick up the plates and have them back the next day.

And that was, that was huge. So of course you had a lot of vanity plates that people were were requesting. Cause it was just kind of starting to be a thing, but my dad was kind of humble and he didn't want to spend a lot of money, extra money for a vanity plate. And then all of a sudden, one day he just said, I'm gonna, I'm going to get my vanity plate.

And so we didn't know what he requested. And we found out later he just requested REX and a number. And so he got Rex 23 and we're all kind of going well, you know, that's, that's interesting. We couldn't think of any significance of that number. Then one day, my brother-in-law Bruce said, you know W is the 23rd letter in the alphabet and our last name is Wasson.

So that was, that turned out to be the significance. So cool. So we kept the plate after he passed away in 1987 and then my mom had it and then she passed away in 2003. And then my sister and I were the only siblings and I said, I really want it. And she said, okay, you can have it, but there's only one condition.

And I said, what's that? And she said, if you ever decided to give it up, I want it. Then I said, okay. So I've had it, had it ever since. And It's always a topic of conversation because people think, Oh, is that your husband is that, you know, a Latin word. What's the reason for REX on your car. So it'sbeen a conversation starter too.

Well, I love

Trista, Host: [00:02:48] that it's a legacy for your family. I've interviewed other people who it's a family of people who all have a license plate. But I think this might be the first one where it's a generational license plate. That's been in the family for decades. I mean, the seventies. I was born in the seventies and I know quite a while

Laura Wasson Warfel: [00:03:08] ago,

Trista, Host: [00:03:08] And I love that you figured out the significance of the 23. I think it's funny that he didn't really want to spend the money on a license plate. And then when he finally did it, it was almost sort of random. So, so that's great that the 23, and it works for your last name as well, because you still are a w last name, which I mean.

I assume that's not why you decided to marry your husband. Yes,

Laura Wasson Warfel: [00:03:34] I do use Wasson as my middle name, so, yeah. Okay, perfect.

Trista, Host: [00:03:39] Perfect. So this is not the first vanity plate that you've had. You've had others. Tell me a little bit about that.

Laura Wasson Warfel: [00:03:47] My first vanity play was LWCBIZ. And that was my initials plus the word biz. That was before the internet, when we were, while we were using this.biz and I was starting my own business, my first business.

And I always look to my dad as kind of the, the, a spark of the entrepreneurship in our family. And I have continued that in several different ways through my life. That that was my first business and the so it was LWCC business services. My last name was carpenter at that time. So that was my first vanity plate that was in the state of Arizona.

And it was I could take it as a business expense because I considered it advertising. So that was kind of cool too.

Trista, Host: [00:04:41] Awesome. And then you had a couple of other vanity plates along the way. So tell me, tell me the history of your vanity license plate ownership.

Laura Wasson Warfel: [00:04:53] Well, my first business, I was a legal assistant and I, I did freelance Legal assistant work.

Plus I, that was when word processing was just starting to take off. And a lot of law firms didn't even have word processing equipment yet. So I would do word processing for them and it made me an expert, which was kind of cool. So that was my first business. Then my in let's see, 1990, 1991, I left that career and I had always loved writing.

But I never thought I could make a living at it. The world never told you, you could make a living at it. And I decided to start a career as a professional writer. So I, I landed my first job as a professional writer in St. Louis in 1995. And I got my vanity plate to celebrate. It was let's see, LVWRDS, which is love words.

Oh, I love that one.

Trista, Host: [00:05:56] Now I want to stop here a little bit because you went from there's no job you could get as a writer people. And that was my thought too. Like who gets paid to write. I mean, obviously people do, but it seems so foreign to me. And it sounds like you had a similar idea, but then you became a writer.

I'd love to hear how that switch occurred. That paradigm shift that allowed you to actually become a professional writer. Cause that's what you do now. Yes. Yes.

Laura Wasson Warfel: [00:06:27] So my start in that was a book called what color is your parachute? And I had never really explored me as a working person work had always just kind of been a. Oh, I got to make a living kind of thing. So I worked through that whole book, learned so much about myself.

Then one of my friends was a career counselor at that time and he gave me the battery of career tests. And I was sitting at my desk and the law firm one day, he calls me at work. He goes, yeah. Quit your job right now. You're in the wrong job. That's what's wrong with your long? My goodness.

I said, Oh, well, I'm not going to quit right now, but tell me more. And so he said you're supposed to be a writer and you're your second highest. Score is for ministers. So get out there and start, start writing to get up the courage to do it because it was very scary and I had still had a lot of people telling me, Oh, there's no way. You have your bachelor's degree is in psychology. You have no experience. There's no way you could have a career as a writer. So I redid my resume. Nice thing about being a writer. You can write your own resume.

So I re did let her resume as a writer. I emphasized every possible thing I could think of that related to writing and I quit my job. I didn't have a job lined up and I came to St. Louis. Stayed with my sister for about a month. I mean, talk about a wonderful brother-in-law and, and did the job search thing.

Finally found a company that was willing to take a chance on me and they hired me as a communications specialist. So that was my first writing job. So, and then it, the job grew. I also did teaching. I did editing. I did all kinds of things that I love to do just because I took a risk and I took a chance.

And I repackaged myself

Trista, Host: [00:08:44] love that. Now I have to ask, you know, that saying, you never forget your first. I think it applies to everything. So I'm curious. Do you remember the very first thing you got paid to write?

Laura Wasson Warfel: [00:08:58] Oh my goodness. I had a, I won a poetry contest and I got a check for $5. All right. That counts

awesome.

Trista, Host: [00:09:12] I love it. So tell me a little more about your writing . You've not just written professionally for companies. You've also written at least one book, right?

Laura Wasson Warfel: [00:09:22] I've written, I've written. I just released my fifth ebook and yeah. Okay. I have a blog. So those are my two areas where I do writing for myself and my ministry.

The I've been blessed, just unbelievably with the doors that God has opened for me, where places where he's needed me to serve some Christian organization, some non-Christian most, I would say. 99% of my professional writing experience has been for non-profits, which has been really interesting.

Something I knew nothing about. I never would have planned or expected.

Trista, Host: [00:10:05] Wow. That's great. And so are you, you said that the second thing was to be a minister, so it sounds like you have taken that on as well.

Laura Wasson Warfel: [00:10:14] Yes. I have a ministry for widows. I've been a widow for 18 years, so I feel like I'm an expert at it. And I also know that I can help other widows go through the process that they're going through. My heart was breaking this week. A young widow with two children just lost her husband in November.

And some of her posts were just heart-wrenching and I reached out to her. And that's why I do what I do is when you, you see these people, these women in such deep pain and you, you just want to help them through it.

Trista, Host: [00:10:58] And you had a pretty difficult time when you lost your husband as well. Am I right?

Laura Wasson Warfel: [00:11:03] Yes, I did. It was it was one of the, he was young. He was only 51 when he passed away. We had only been married for seven years. We knew he had health problems, but we didn't know or didn't want to know how serious it was.

So his death was definitely unexpected for that. At that time, we felt like he had, he was getting better in a lot of areas, but he obviously wasn't. He had, when we married, he had three teenagers. So we had formed a family with all of us and one of the most hurtful things anyone ever said to me at his Memorial service, we were walking down the hall after the service to go to the dinner.

And she turned to me and said, well, you can just forget about the kids now. They're just going to write you off. And I, that was the minute I decided I'm not going to let that happen. And so we've, we've maintained our relationships. They're all married now. They have children. The grandchildren call me Grammy, Laura.

It's, it's been a really good experience, as good as it can possibly be.

Trista, Host: [00:12:24] I'm really glad to hear that. You can create a relationship from something you just have to put the effort in. Right. And so clearly you did that. And when you said that their kids call you Grammy Laura, I actually felt that like right in my skin, you know, like that was just so juicy and so much love there for that relationship to be that way.

So congratulations for being able to create that with them, not have what that person said, be a reality.

Laura Wasson Warfel: [00:12:55] Right. And they have been wonderful also. I it's definitely all of us working together. Oh yeah,

Trista, Host: [00:13:03] sure. Absolutely. Absolutely. You all made that effort. Now? How did you navigate the, I mean, you are a widow earler than you ever would have thought in a marriage that was a lot shorter than you ever would have wanted it to be.

It was unexpected, as you said can you share a little about your process of what you discovered and how you got through it all?

Laura Wasson Warfel: [00:13:27] Well, I spent about 10 years thinking that I was a wife and waiting, just waiting for my next husband to come along and he didn't come.

And I said, well, I I've got to go on with my life here. So I basically wasted about 10 years. Then I decided to ask God, what else do you have for me? What else do I need to be doing? And that's when he revealedMore Than a Widow to me. That's my ministry I have now. I was very resistant and very reluctant... I never wanted to call myself a widow. I don't even like the word widow, but I've worked through all of that. And I think I'm helping other people work through that also.

A lot of the women are, are very unprepared. They don't know anything about their finances.

They don't know how to take care of anything around the house. They are totally lost. A lot of women rejected by friends and relatives who are afraid to talk about what the woman is going through. So there's a lot of, a lot of sub issues that you have to deal with as, as the years go on that my main message is that you're still here for a reason.

So let's, let's find out what that is and let's do it.

Trista, Host: [00:14:56] Yeah. I want to take us to a different piece of this for a second. Because of something you just said. So if I'm a friend or a family member of somebody who has been widowed is that the right term has been widowed, who has lost their spouse. What is it that I can, cause I actually have a friend going through this.

She's about my age. It's very similar to your story. They weren't married that long. They were married like six years madly in love. You know, just so much love, unexpected too soon. Heartbroken. I want to reach out. I want to, to do, to say to, I don't know what to do. I can't imagine what she's going through.

I have no personal experience. I love her dearly. I want to say the right thing. That'll make it better. I know there's no right thing. So, is there something you could advise those of us who have people in our lives? So we, I would never want her to feel rejected or excluded, but I, I also don't want to intrude on her pain either.

Laura Wasson Warfel: [00:16:10] Well, two, two pieces of advice I would offer from my experience and from what I've encountered with other widows, one is keep reaching out to her, even if she doesn't respond, even if she rejects you, even if she cuts you off, keep reaching out.

Once a week at the minimum, just call, a note, a invitation to lunch, whatever that just keep letting her know you're there for her. The grief process is different for everybody. It goes at a different speed for everybody, but the one of the characteristics of grieving is you want to isolate. And that's like the worst thing you can do is cut yourself off from other people.

And it's so much easier. I still battle with that. After 18 years, it's so much easier to create your own reality and try to exist there then to try to deal with other people in the world and everything else that's going on. So I would say, keep reaching out. No matter what the response is, the other is let her know.

Did you know her husband?

Trista, Host: [00:17:24] No, we went to college together and I had never met him. Yeah.

Laura Wasson Warfel: [00:17:28] Okay. Okay. But just acknowledge their marriage acknowledged that he existed because usually the main thing that people do is, they're afraid to talk about the person who died because they're afraid that they will upset the person, but most of the time it's the opposite that you want people to remember that person. I know after my husband passed away, I took he, he was a minister, so he wore neckties all the time and I took his neck ties and I sent one to each of his friends and relatives, and it was so interesting to see the different responses. I got one person said it back and said they did not feel worthy to wear his neck tie. A couple of other people just said, thank you. Some people were very touched. People who knew him are going through their own grief process, that you can affirm her and let her know that she was really blessed to have him in her life and to have enjoyed the things that they, that they did enjoy.

Trista, Host: [00:18:44] Thank you. That's really, really helpful. And I will make sure to be reaching out at least once a week. And, and, and you gave me this idea, like I never met him so I can ask her about him. Like, tell me what was special about him. Why did you love him and give her the, the freedom to talk about him? If she would like to.

That's great. Good advice. So you have six points about how to be more than a widow. Can you share those with

Laura Wasson Warfel: [00:19:14] us?

Yes. These are from my personal experience and I've had a lot of women tell me that these have been very helpful for them. The first one is to live beyond the label. People are going to label you. They're going to stereotype you. They're going to try to categorize you as a widow, but be yourself and don't let that define you and then be your true self.

A lot of times, our true selves have in marriage have gotten wrapped up in our spouse and it's hard to separate that out. And, and it's really a discovery and adventure process to find out who am I and who am I now? And don't be afraid of, of that that adventure to serve others. Anytime we can focus on other people that gets us out of ourselves and to be open to ways that we can serve and help others and especially other widows and to let go of hurt and anger. I saw many widows get lost in the why question they get lost in the, this shouldn't have happened to me. This shouldn't have happened to us. They get hurt feelings from the ways that people react to them and just let go of that hurt and anger, because it will consume you and say, thank you to God for each blessing that you receive. Sometimes it's hard to see our blessings when we're hurting so much that there's their blessings every single day. And just to, to, to notice those and recognize those and thank God for those.

Trista, Host: [00:21:06] Wow. That's quite a list. So anything else you'd like to share about the ministry that you have and what it offers

Laura Wasson Warfel: [00:21:16] More Than a Widow is a ministry of encouragement, hope, and resources that that's my goal to help widows live beyond the label and find what else God has for them to do.

There are many different avenues that I'm using right now to do that. And it's, it's very interesting. I have a Facebook page and a Facebook group. I have a blog. I have a YouTube channel. I am on Twitter. I mean, I, I do my best to get out there and let people know that I, that I'm here and what my message is.

Trista, Host: [00:21:57] Well, I really thank you for all your work. So we'd been in a pandemic for a while now. I'd love to hear. Oh, I know. Right. So weird. I'd love to hear how that's impacted you and your work as a writer and your ministry of more than a widow. Have you come up with any new hobbies?

Laura Wasson Warfel: [00:22:17] Well, my experience with the pandemic has been very different than, than most people. I think being a widow prepared me for this time of isolation and sheltering in place, which sounds kind of strange, but I really can see that. I also have been able to do some things that I had always wanted to do, but never had the opportunity.

One of those, I always wanted to be a red cross volunteer and I always felt like you had to be a couple and you couldn't have pets because you had to travel all the time and you had to leave your home a lot. And there was, it just was not in my realm of reality. Then I found out that I could volunteer as a writer.

So this year I went through the volunteer training, and I'm now a volunteer writer for the red cross, which is really just an amazing surprise to me. I am also. It really, is it really, is it just the stories that you get to hear from the volunteers who are actually out there in the field? That's pretty much what, what I've been writing about and that's just so inspiring and, and so wonderful to know that there are people out there who are willing to give so much, the red cross is like, Over 90% volunteer staffed.

So that, that's just amazing how this organization functions so well. And so efficiently with those that meant that high percentage of volunteers.

Trista, Host: [00:23:58] I really love how you wanted to do something. You didn't really know what it would look like. And then you figured out a way to bring your actual personal skill, experience, passion, et cetera, to something else.

And it occurs to me like maybe if you want to volunteer for something, but you feel like you don't really match with what they're doing, call them up. Hey, this is something I do. Could you use this skill to support what you're up to and see what they say? That's awesome. Any, any stories you'd like to share?

Any favorites that you've written about? So lately,

Laura Wasson Warfel: [00:24:35] Oh, I just did one young woman. She volunteers for the red cross. She was, had severe injuries in a really awful car accident. Took her a very long time to recover. She never did really get back to where she was as far as her capabilities, but she took a disability status with her military service. And now she's volunteers with the red cross. It's just amazing. She goes to disaster sites. She has figured out how, how she can serve with her capabilities. And it was just such an inspiring story. And it's basically given her a reason to go on and just just wonderful, wonderful story.

Trista, Host: [00:25:24] Mm, I love that. Thank you for sharing that. Well, I'm so happy to have had you on my podcast and to share REX23, as well as your story, which, you know, just like, I always say the license plate is just the beginning of the story. And I really enjoyed getting to know you. Thank you so much for being on any final words before we

Laura Wasson Warfel: [00:25:49] end. I. I think that these podcasts guest spots have been really fun for me. And I thank you for adding another fun one. It was great. Yay. Thank

Trista, Host: [00:26:03] you so much for saying that and thanks for being on. Have

Laura Wasson Warfel: [00:26:06] a great day.

Trista, Host: [00:26:09] Thank you for joining us for this week's episode of Trista's PL8STORY podcast. Please subscribe to Trista's PL8STORY podcast to get the story behind all those vanity plates, driving with you on the road. And if you would like to nominate the owner of a license plate, including you... Or visit any of our partners and sponsors come and see us www.pl8story.com. That's P L number eight story.com and give us the details.

If you enjoyed this episode, please drop a review and give us a share. I'm Trista Polo wishing you well on the road to your next adventure.

Join I Woke Up Awesome Club on Clubhouse

trista@iwokeupawesome.com (Trista Polo) — Mon, 26 Apr 2021 16:02:59 GMT

Are you on Clubhouse Yet? Join the I Woke Up Awesome Club - here's what we have going on so far...

The I Woke Up Awesome Club was established to celebrate the fact that we are ALL awesome, right now. Just as we are. With nothing to be fixed or changed. This is the philosophy of the I Woke Up Awesome brand and we are celebrating it and all the awesome people on clubhouse with rooms held weekly inspired by this theme.

So it is only fitting that the I Woke Up Awesome Club is live on Clubhouse! We have done some great stuff so far and are continuing to add to the roster.

We had Andrea Waltz, co-author of " Go For N o " join us for a Q&A and have more things planned with her.

We have a weekly "I Woke Up Awesome Morning Chat" room Thursdays at 8:30am ET and we discuss "Making Miracles" Thursdays at 10am ET.

Our most recent addition is the "Week In Review" room. This is a quick 30 second guided exercise for completing LAST week powerfully and setting up THIS week powerfully too.

We take you through a guided exercise to get the most out of your goals and take the actions consistent with achieving them. So far the feedback has been great from those that have participated! And we have only had the room for a couple of weeks.

I Woke Up Awesome Club on Clubhouse "Week In Review" room now live. This is a quick 30 minute guided exercise for completing LAST week powerfully and setting up THIS week powerfully too. Comes with free worksheet.

Get more information here and join the club! https://www.iwokeupawesome.com/ch-week-in-review

Once you have joined you'll get weekly reminders and be the first to be alerted when we add new events to the Club. We have more to come including:

Author discussions

Acknowledgement and Shout Out Rooms

Live Interviews with PL8STORY Guests

See you around the Club!

CLYDE05 - Trista's PL8STORY Podcast Plate 61

trista@iwokeupawesome.com (Trista Polo) — Mon, 19 Apr 2021 00:56:26 GMT

CLYDE05 - Trista's PL8STORY Podcast Plate 61

Jeff joins me to talk about his travels - around the country and around the world. In 2020, he had a goal to visit every state with CLYDE a 2005 van he retrofitted for long-term travel.

He met many wonderful people and shares his stories and theirs.

Join us for some great stories of travel, love and friendship.

Connect with Jeff on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/pops_van_gogh/

Connect with Trista's PL8STORY Podcast:

- Nominate a plate - https://www.pl8story.com

- Meet your host - https://www.iwokeupawesome.com

- Subscribe to Trista's PL8STORY Podcast on Apple Podcast (http://bit.ly/itunespl8story), Google Podcast, Spotify or your favorite podcast app and access all published episodes

- Support the Podcast with a free cash back customer account at www.shopallthat.com

Episode Transcript

Welcome. I'm so excited today to have Jeff. His license plate is CLYDE05. He is a man of the world. Let's get to know Jeff and his plate story. Welcome, Jeff.Trista: [00:00:32] It's great to have you, so tell me about your license plate and why you chose CLYDE05.

Jeff: [00:00:39] So you know, we all, we all will have loves of our vehicles. I certainly got into cars when I got my driver's license a long, long time ago.

Not that long but long time. So, and you, you always kind of named your car and for a lot of people, they either told me this, you know, you got to figure out, is it a boy or is it a girl? So my, my vehicles have always been guys. It's kind of like always been the thing. You know, we ride together and Clyde kind of became the name of the van.

And it's a 2005. So as we were looking to get a license plate for it I thought the right thing to do would be to get it a name tag that actually said the Van's name and gave it some identity there, not, not my own personal name, but so I did it for the van.

Trista: [00:01:27] All right. That's perfect. Now why Clyde is, did the van sorta like give you a Clyde vibe?

Did you name it after something or someone?

Jeff: [00:01:35] Yeah, actually you know, so I didn't know what the identity would be and you never really know for me to get this van, it was quite the journey to start with. So, I mean, here we are in 2020 in the middle of the quarantine and I started to look for a van and I found it and it was out in the middle of Ohio.

A really nice guy was selling it. And I made an agreement to fly out, to get the van and I flew out, bought it there.

So on the drive home was the time where I really would figure out the identity of the car the van at that point and just kind of, you know, figure out w w who really am I driving with here? And Clyde kind of, that's the name that kind of came to me is the right vibe. It's a big van, so it's kinda like a Clydesdale van and I'm, I'm hoping maybe at some point I'll get a little trailer for it and add a little Dale motorcycle to the back or something along those lines.

But but yeah, so Clyde's kind of where it came down to.

Trista: [00:02:36] Clyde like Clydesdale, like a big majestic van. I think that's a perfect name. I love it. Now you needed a van that you could really kind of make your own because you're spending quite a bit of time in this van, aren't you?

Jeff: [00:02:52] Yeah. So it didn't really start out like that.

It, I, I, I worked for a real long time as we all have. And one of my life's dreams was to take a year to travel the country. I've been fortunate and I've done a lot of traveling around the world. And I've seen a lot of the country, but I wanted to take a year and get like a big bus or an RV or something and just travel.

I don't have the means for a buss or, an RV, and it takes a lot of gas. So I figured a van would be a better fit.

Trista: [00:03:22] Wow. How did your whole travel bug start?

Jeff: [00:03:26] Yeah, I mean wow. So. I, I don't think my parents, but I was conceived in one state. I was born in another we moved every year. I was a kid. So I don't think I really ever went to the same school twice until high school.

We did a lot of travel around the States when I was a kid growing up and then raised my daughter with my ex-wife. We lived up in new England and we gave her a really great home for, you know, 15, 16 years before my divorce came along.

Daughters graduated from college now. She did a phenomenal job. I'm super proud of her and everything that she did to get herself there.

Trista: [00:04:05] Yeah. That's awesome. Now, did your parents, were they in the military or what had them move so much?

Jeff: [00:04:11] You, you go a lot of directions with that one.

It was a long time ago, but it was more sales. My father you know, he grew up in New York city and he lived here for a long, long time. And for him to be able to move up through life meant that he had to take all the opportunities that he could it was before the virtual world came around.

So what we're doing right now it wasn't something that was just easy and accessible back in the day. So, so we did a lot of moving to make those, those opportunities happen.

Trista: [00:04:42] Well, you know, it's funny because I have a similar childhood to you. I moved it's think it's like 24-ish places. By the time I was 18 and people always asked me if I was a military brat and the answer was no, it's more like life, like life, life is why.

And so I totally and completely get that. I used to be able to name every one really quick in order, but it's been a long time since I've been able to do that. So it's a lot. Yeah, we're, we're sort of probably tied with how many, it sounds like the shortest I ever lived somewhere was two weeks. Cause my mom moved me, moved us into a place.

And then we were there a couple of weeks. She's like, yeah, this is not good enough for us. And we found another place and the longest I ever lived anywhere until I met my husband was two years. And then he has very deep roots. So when we met and got married, we lived in the same house for 20 some years and it sounds like you've seen a lot of the country and a lot of the world. And you've have you been to every state in the country?

Jeff: [00:06:00] No. There's still one missing. It's Alaska.

Maybe I'll fly with the license plate over there, or I don't know, but at this point I'm kind of happy with that.

Trista: [00:06:14] Yeah. Yeah. I think that's really good because you actually had a goal to drive to every state, to be in every state with this van before the end of this year. I'd love to hear how your goal ended up. Did you make it?

Jeff: [00:06:28] I sure did. And it was a really nice to be able to, to tie the story together with my cousin in Texas. So I got to see some family in Texas, which. I actually brought everything full circle from the driving and the road trips and everything I've been on. It's been a long journey. But yeah, I didn't start off the year thinking I was going to go to all 48 States.

I mean, it wasn't even until August that I, that I got the vehicle when that happened it was, it was you know, something that kind of, it, it developed, you know, it wasn't something that came up. And when I realized there was one of my trips, I was driving through the Michigan territories. And and I realized, you know, if I drive all the way to Seattle, like I'll have a chance at leaving one trip open to complete the entire 48 for the year.

I didn't really think I had a choice not to at this point. So many people following the story and that were involved. I really felt like it was something I needed to do. So.

Trista: [00:07:36] Yeah. Now you have had quite a following. You have an Instagram account where you post regular updates.

You've met a lot of people on your journey and you have other people in other communities of yours following. Tell me a little about the community of people coming along with you in spirit on your travels.

Jeff: [00:07:56] It's funny because it, as you mentioned that I was being attacked, I play online games and one of my friends, I think , must've known that I was in the middle of the interview because he's attacking my castle

Trust me. It's a long story, but anyway, I'll get to him later. I I've been playing an online game for maybe a year or two now. And I've made some contacts from there and I play with people around the world and around the country. And as well. Even just through my Instagram account, I've been fortunate to meet and be introduced to people that I would have never had the opportunity to meet, had it not been for social media and the connections that you can make there.

And along the way, you know, people started letting me know Hey man, I've been watching I've been watching your story. It's great to follow along with you. And whether it was backpacking through South America or Asia that they felt like they were along with me. It really meant a lot.

So is the story goes, it's intertwined quite a bit. But, but yeah, it's a big community and I'm really happy to be able to share it with everybody that goes along with me.

Trista: [00:09:10] Yeah, that's really awesome. And so you have this this thing on the back windshield of your van that helps you kind of track your progress and has been part of the community interaction.

Can you share a little bit about that?

Jeff: [00:09:24] Yeah, so you know, for years, I think as we all drive on the highway, we all have a different game that we play in our cars where, you know, we try and find a, the alphabet on license plates or, or we try and, you know, find a sticker or something. But as a kid I'd always seen the buses and the RVs that on the back have those big, giant maps and those they would put in a sticker every time that the RV or the bus went to that state.

And when I got the van, I knew that that was something that I wanted to have for the van. And again, the body wasn't sure with the colors, but I knew that the sticker was definitely going to work. So I put it on the back window. And as I started going through States, I realized how special it was to be able to include peopleand allow them to put the sticker on from wherever I was.

So, for example my uncle Greg is from the state of Ohio. And when I got the van, I drove back through Pennsylvania where he lives now with my aunt. And I asked him to put on the Ohio sticker for me being a native Ohioan and he was able to do that. And along the journey, I've asked people to honor me and, and their state and, and put on the sticker from where they're from or, or for whatever the reason might be and ask them to join the journey along the way.

One of the stickers is not from a state that somebody started off in it came from again, that gaming community. And when I had met a good friend from the game in Virginia and he helped me out with that sticker. So there's a little story about that one as well, but yeah, lots of stories from the stickers and it, and it's been a absolutely great journey.

I I'm, I'm excited to tell you more about it.

Trista: [00:11:15] Yeah. I mean, let's talk a little about some of the people that you've met I'd love to hear some of the highlights of the stories of the people that you've interacted with on the road.

Jeff: [00:11:24] Yeah. So you know, I, I I'll just start with, you know, where I got the van and you know, it was really kind of my first story and my first interaction with somebody from there was, you know, that when I flew to Ohio, I spent the night at a friend's house out by JFK airport and then took the subway, you know, in the morning to get to the airport.

I didn't have a vehicle at this point. I was, you know, carless living in New York city. And spent the night at a friend's house by the airport, took the subway to the airport. The next morning, flew to Ohio, got the van went to the, the RNV and then you know, set up everything else with the gentleman who was selling it to me, by the time I got out of there, it was kind of late.

Now you can sleep in the van, there's, you know, a bed in the back. But it, you know, it was late, still wanted to grab a meal. And I had been playing the game and I'd spoken to one guy and I knew he was in the Ohio area. So I sent him a message and he said, get over to the house, man. And it was amazing. So I went over to his house.

He made sure that I had everything I needed before I got back on the road. We had a bite to eat and I was able to spend some time with him and you know, that guy was Barker. You know, he plays under a game name of Vader, but, you know, just to be able to meet him there, have them give me a place to stay that first night in the van away from home was it was really special.

I got to meet his family. He actually, and I, I still got to return it. He gave me a TV. I'm like, who does this? Since this guy just, you know, I play a video game with, and I brought the van to him. There's a TV in the back. And I was trying to tinker her with it. And he said, nah, I got a better one for ya.

And he got a TV and he gave me the secondary TV and he said, go ahead and use this one in the van. So I I've since upgraded even more so in the back, but the TV and I want to get it back to him, but he, you know, again, great guy, really nice meeting. It was, it was really cool. Cool.

Trista: [00:13:27] So you're telling me that the people that you game with are real, like they really exist in the world.

These are like human flesh people. I'm always skeptical about

Jeff: [00:13:38] that. And we, we actually wonder the same thing about each other. I mean, not to get into a whole gaming community thing. It's a little like Dungeons and dragons for adults, but you know, there's, there's a lot of people here that, that they sit there and they say you know, Hey, is this really your account?

Are you a developer? Do you work for the game system? And it's not until you really meet somebody in person that you can feel comfortable. There's a lot of people that you kind of meet through like Facebook and other accounts where you get to learn their family and you know, a little bit more about them.

But, but yeah, it definitely is something interesting there.

Trista: [00:14:13] Wow, that's really cool. So tell me another story from the road.

Jeff: [00:14:18] Yeah, I mean, geez. So another one I just kind of bring up real quick was you know, when I was going through Virginia and this was another guy who I think maybe you want to talk to him because his life is pretty darn interesting.

And you know, he's another guy with a vanity plate, his, his captain Morgan, which happens to be his game name. And he's from Virginia, he's got a beard the size of Texas. He's a really great guy. And we were playing together and one day he had to get off the phone real quick.

And you know, we play the game at all sorts of times, so it's not uncommon somebody has to get off the phone. But the next day we found out that his wife had passed in a car accident. And

Trista: [00:15:04] so

Jeff: [00:15:04] sorry. Yeah. You know, it's tragic, they're really young couple, very much in love and you know, the whole, the whole kingdom that I play in we really came together people that you don't know if we're real or not sent the flowers and a blanket you know, some nice gifts to him during the the services.

And when I met him in person it was special because he's really a good friend on top of another gamer. But we were talking on the phone with somebody from the UK and Silly's her name. And she says, well, you got to have captain Morgan put on the sticker. And you know, that was kind of our plan already.

And I had brought a $2 bill. I've been giving out $2 bills for years for him to take a picture with him. And he actually said that he had a sticker made up for his wife and he put her picture with a wreath of sunflowers on the van. Wow. You know, and she traveled that journey with us. And for him to be able to follow and see her and all these different places from national parks to from coast to coast, all these special places, special times, it, it was it was something special.

And, you know, cap was with me the whole way. A lot of these guys. We're all there for each other. You know, I've received cards of support and messages and stuff from people around the world on it. But it's it's really, it's a, it's an amazing journey.

And you know, I I've been able to meet people and their families on the road and my family been able to do a lot of special things, but to be able to have her travel that trip with us and know that she got to see all those different places was special.

Trista: [00:16:53] Yeah, for sure. Oh my goodness. And I think I saw a picture on your Instagram of that, and it's really special that you are able to honor her memory.

She'll be with you on all of your journeys from now on. Yeah. And what a special way to to remember her.

Jeff: [00:17:13] Yeah, yeah, yeah. It, it, you know, it's important to me that, that when I travel, it's more than just staying at a nice hotel or doing those things that, you know, everybody kind of checks off their bucket list.

You know, I wanted to go to Yellowstone and see the geysers and everything, but it it's more to know that I get to share that with people. And I started traveling alone years back. And I had an ex-girlfriend that recommended that I solo travel. I don't know she was giving me a message. You know, Jeff, I think you'd really liked vacation alone.

By yourself! Totally solo! Solo!

Trista: [00:17:58] Love.

Jeff: [00:17:58] you know, she and I meet, we had just come back from an amazing trip ourselves. We road tripped up through big Sur and the Redwood forest on the West coast, I said, but it's not that special if I can't share it with somebody.

And she said, you you'll find a way, you always find ways to share things. And and it's meant a lot. My first solo trip, I flew to Paris with a geez. I don't know. It had to been 30 year old map of the city of Paris that my grandparents used. And it had my grandparents handwriting on the map and I followed their handwriting through the city of Paris all by myself and kind of like tracking it down just to kind of be in their footsteps again.

Trista: [00:18:40] That's so cool.

Jeff: [00:18:42] My grandparents are maybe the most amazing people. Their stories make the little snippets of things that I can talk about. Their stories are so much more grand. They're so amazing.

And they're, they they're really amazing people. My grandfather was an innovator in technology and aerospace. You know, I, I, I believe he's honored in the Smithsonian Aaron space museum. And my grandmother was a, a historical genealogist and worked with the topography and maps of the, the early American you know, territories and States and, and, and just really amazing people. So it's nice that they've been on the journey with me as well. Yeah.

That's very cool. Now you've said we a lot, but yet you said you travel alone. So who has been on various different legs of these journeys with you? Well,

yeah, in the, in the van it's been, you know, different people on different legs.

One of the leg, so it was really memorable to discuss was I drove with my mother from Carolina to California. And you know, my mom's my mom, so I'm not giving away any age details, but you know, I'm middle aged and she's middle-aged plus one child in age. We didn't stay at any hotels. You know, we slept in the van. We kept it moving from place to place the place and stops along the way. And to be able to go coast to coast with my mother was truly special. We are able to go back to the city I was born in and stopped by some old cities that I used to live in as a child, which interestingly enough, we talked about all the different places we've lived. I've never really been able to revisit any of the places that, that I grew up as a child. I went back to Hawaii and my mother, had given me the address to our, my childhood home in Hawaii, where I lived for a year.

And it was in a gated community. So she let me know Jeff, there's no way that you're going to be able to get into the gated community. And the is tough to start with. I mean, it's all Hawaii, Kai wide, there's all sorts of names that you don't understand to start with. But I made it to Hawaii. I, I get to the gated community and I got in, so I convinced the crew to let me in.

And I made my way through this community. And it's a maze of houses that all look exactly the same, but it was on a golf course. I remember the stories from when I was growing up and I get there and I start taking pictures in front of the house and I'm sure they're wondering, and I'm taking selfies and doing everything I can.

And when I was flying home, I had a layover in LA and my mother texts me and she says, Oh honey, I wanted to let you know. I'm sorry, had the numbers transposed. It was the wrong address.

Okay. So mom, I love you. I'm sure you're listening.

Trista: [00:21:46] If they all look the same, that it was probably close enough.

Jeff: [00:21:53] We went to Denver and you know, that's where I was born and she thought she could find the whole house that I grew up in and where I was born. And so when we were driving the van, she couldn't, she couldn't, we drove around for, it had to been a couple hours. And we drove this neighborhood, that neighborhood, I think it was by this school made me stuff changes.

Like you said, you know, I I'm in my forties, so I'm almost 50, you know, it kind of in that ballpark. And when you get into that area, like things changed in that many years. So, you know, I don't blame her for not knowing the address. Well, boy, there's San Diego, Denver, Seattle, Santa Rosa. I've got a lot of places.

I'm excited to see one of the houses I grew up in

Trista: [00:22:43] someday. Yeah. I'm just thinking about the fact that I don't, I can't think of one house I've gone back to after we moved out, I had one house I lived in, we actually sold it to a friend's family. And so I was back there visiting them, but it was always very weird to be in my house with their stuff in it.

You know, it was never, it was never comfortable to be there pudding. Yeah. But I don't think I've ever been back to, except for that, for that reason. To a house that I was in or lived in. And I think I almost prefer it that way because I can remember it the way. A house that I really remember was the house I was living in when my parents split up, it was in Louisiana in Baton Rouge and that house, I very clear memories of as a child . And I I saw that from like a Google map photo recently, and it was just different enough that I was like, really?

That's where I live. Doesn't look familiar. You know, so I think it's better to just keep the pristine memory rather than ruining it with real life.

Jeff: [00:24:05] It's funny. We have so many stories. My mom's told me, like, I guess I was a pretty mischievous kid. So she's told me so many stories of like pulling away from the house to see me hanging out the third floor window. You know, just all sorts of, there was one time. This I'm still upset over this one.

She left me dangling by a fence upside down, hanging by my underwear, around my ankles with a Doberman on the fence. And she left me to go get the camera. So she could take a picture. Now she wasn't in danger. Right. But I mean, come on, like, like

Trista: [00:24:54] now Jacksonville and interesting, but I want to know how you ended up in that particular situation.

That's what I want to know.

Jeff: [00:25:03] I mean, I think something went over the fence when I was a kid, my brother and I were a year apart. We were living in San Diego at this time. And my mother, again, she's a great mother, most loving woman in the world. She wasn't always like the most on top of us though. So you know, she would allow us to do a lot of things that maybe you probably wouldn't recommend to kids nowadays.

And you know, so we were playing in the backyard and something must've gone over the fence. So I tried climbing over the fence to get it to the other side where the dog was. And when I went to swing my leg over the top, we've all had this happen. Right? I mean, come on. It's happened to you, right?

This happened to everybody I'm sure. So when I did it, it caught one seat of my pants and I fell backwards and I was hanging upside down. Now my brother who wasn't as articulate as I was at that point cause we were probably like three ish in that ballpark went inside to alert my mom and he didn't speak clear enough to, for her to understand that she needed to grab the camera before she came outside.

So when she saw, she went back

Trista: [00:26:12] for that, Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness. So, you know, I'm just thinking about we're around the same age and I'm remembering how many afternoons I spent days I spent outside, not in front of my house, running around a neighborhood at the age of seven at the age of seven. And that house I was telling you about. in Louisiana, I had a best friend... her name was Candice -shout out to Candice- and we would just run around the neighborhood alone. The two of us, no adults, no older siblings. She's an only child. I was an only child, till I was 13. So at this point, neither of us had any like older siblings keeping an eye out for us.

There was a house that either was, I think it was being built. We spent hours hanging out in this mid-construction house. You know, very dangerous situations for kids. So my sister is 35 and I remember when she was a kid older than seven, like a few years older than that. And I was very nervous about her playing outside by herself. So even in the 15 years between when I was that age and she was that age, something must've changed. Because I was left to my own devices all summer long.

I will say for the record, I have never caught myself trying to get over a fence and gotten into that particular situation.

But I wasn't quite as adventurous as you are.

Jeff: [00:27:46] My mother gave me a hard time. I guess hitchhiking to school is frowned upon when you're in kindergarten and the first time she let me take the bus and tight.

Trista: [00:27:56] Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness. Yeah. Now you, you have, I was on your Instagram and I saw that you have had some companion, more of the four legged furry friend kind of category.

So being a dog lover myself, we have to talk about that for a couple of minutes. Yeah.

Jeff: [00:28:15] That Fiona is my companion. She's a, the copilot and Fiona. I rescued from a shelter seven years ago when I, when I was going through my divorce. And we lived together in Astoria New York in Queens for, for several years.

And on one of those years, we took a road trip to Texas and it was just Fiona and I, and the convertible. And so this has got to be about seven years ago. And on that trip, I bought a journal and we were talking about memories and it's kind of funny that we were talking about memories because, you know, I started journaling.

To try and keep track of those. Both of my grandparents had Alzheimer's or dementia or some form of that, and memories are really important. So when I went on that trip with Fiona to Texas to visit that cousin that I told you about the finished that sticker for me, put that last sticker on for me. When we were coming back, I bought the first journal in St. Louis. So I've started journaling years and years and years ago with her on road trips. She's been swimming in the Mississippi, the Colorado she's swimming just about any river that you can think of.

She swam all the way around Manhattan not one trip, but in the East river. And a lot of people are surprised to hear that I saw your face. I saw your face, even the Hudson, she swam in. But she likes it. And she does well. She smells great. And again, maybe a little more adventurous than some people are used to, but she's a hardy dog.

I mean, she, she makes it, she's a tough dog. So she's kind of dog. Is she? She's a mix. It's been everybody's guests. She's got that, that black eye, like a Peetey from the little Rascals. So it depends on what generation you're from. A lot of the kids nowadays say that she looks like the target dog. So if you've been on the Instagram, you can tell me which one she looks like ears kind of like a baby Yoda.

So, you know, she's she's all white. Literally that, that the eyepatch is like a pirates patch. So, you know I don't know. It's just a, some sort of mix and I'm trying to look at her right now to get an idea. She's a dog, she's a mutt-a-gree.

Trista: [00:30:41] Well, you've had so many amazing adventures. I definitely want to recommend that people follow you on Instagram. So I'm going to have a link to that in the blog and the show notes and the description and all that. Because you definitely do a wonderful job of highlighting your adventures and the people you meet

and what's, what's next for you and your van?

Jeff: [00:31:03] So I'm hoping to put together a little some stories from the rides with Clyde and maybe put that together into a book.

Hopefully make some great people on the road again, and we'll see how that goes and then potentially make our way up to Canada and Alaska. You know, we've got a lot of hopes to, to meet people. Another guy from the game is getting married and he's recommended we come out and you know, spend his wedding with him and see the family out that way in California.

So speed our way out there. And kind of see how those journeys go.

Trista: [00:31:37] Thanks so much, Jeff. It was great to have you on

Jeff: [00:31:39] thanks, Trista. If you can't be good be well.

Trista: [00:31:41] I love it.

Jeff: [00:31:43] All right. Bye.

Trista, Host: [00:31:45] Thank you for joining us for this week's episode of Trista's PL8STORY podcast. Please subscribe to Trista's PL8STORY podcast to get the story behind all those vanity plates, driving with you on the road. And if you would like to nominate the owner of a license plate, including you... Or visit any of our partners and sponsors come and see us www.pl8story.com. That's P L number eight story.com and give us the details.

If you enjoyed this episode, please drop a review and give us a share. I'm Trista Polo wishing you well on the road to your next adventure.

NORB - Plate 60 of Trista's PL8STORY Podcast

trista@iwokeupawesome.com (Trista Polo) — Tue, 16 Mar 2021 13:50:28 GMT

NORB - Plate 60 - Trista's PL8STORY Podcast

Jessica Linzmeier and Brittany Lutz, of Central Wisconsin, join me to share the story behind Jessica’s plate (NORB). Jessica and Brittany went viral on Facebook when their picture was chosen as the photo of the day on the #drinkwisconsinbly page. They are as fun in real life as they are in the photo. We had a blast and laughed a lot. Let’s go meet Norb, the person behind the story behind the plate!

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Episode Transcript

NORB

welcome to this week's episode. The episode is NORB and my guests today are Brittany Lutz and Jessica Linzmeier from Central Wisconsin. I'm super excited to have you welcome ladies.

This is going to be super fun. Now, the way that we connected originally is I was on Facebook and somebody in a moms group that I'm a member of shared this awesome photo of the two of you, a Jeep, a license plate, and some Busch beer. And I tracked it down and I found you on Drink Wisconsinbly group.

And then somebody said, Oh my gosh, I totally want to be friends with these ladies. And someone else said, Oh, here they are. And I was able to find you that way with a little good investigative work. So I'm super excited to have you both on.

Jessica Linzmeier: [00:01:10] We're excited. Yeah. We're actually in the Jeep. So

Trista, Host: [00:01:14] yeah, for people watching on video you'll know this, but if you're not watching, apparently because of an open floor plan and a ton of children, Brittany and Jessica are sitting in the Jeep in question in their coats.

And like, I mean, probably gloves and scarves. It's like 40 degrees there. You're such troopers. I love it.

Brittany Lutz: [00:01:38] We try. Yeah, we try.

Trista, Host: [00:01:40] So whose plate is it? Let's start there.

Jessica Linzmeier: [00:01:44] Mine - jessica's

Trista, Host: [00:01:45] okay. So it's Jessica's plate and NORB. Like what is that? That's one of those that I would post on Facebook and say any ideas.

Jessica Linzmeier: [00:01:54] Well, actually everyone thought it was cause like, that's a pretty common Jeep thing to like name your Jeep. But so everyone assumed it was the Jeep's name, but it's actually my nickname. So that I've had my entire life.

Trista, Host: [00:02:11] And what does it mean? Like what's the significance? How is it? Because it's nothing like Jessica, it's not like shortened or like, how did you get this nickname?

Jessica Linzmeier: [00:02:20] My dad gave it to me as a baby, like a baby baby. And then like, so like my family called me that and I would go. I was, you know, like in grade school would have my friends over and they would call me that in front of them. And then it just stopped. Like by high school, more people knew me by Norb than if you said at Jessica, they didn't know who you were talking about.

Trista, Host: [00:02:43] Should I call you Norb for the rest of the interview.

Jessica Linzmeier: [00:02:45] I mean either way it's fine.,

Brittany Lutz: [00:02:48] my kids didn't even know her real name for their entire life. They just found out like probably last year.

Trista, Host: [00:02:56] Wow. Oh my goodness.

Brittany Lutz: [00:02:59] She's always just been Auntie Norb.

Trista, Host: [00:03:03] And you are like childhood friends that grew up because of childhood friends. Is that right?

Jessica Linzmeier: [00:03:10] Parents parents She is probably the first one that like of my friends that called me Norb. And like spread it around school.

Trista, Host: [00:03:21] So you've been friends forever. tell me a little about your history together as friends.

Brittany Lutz: [00:03:26] I was starting a new school in fourth grade and my stepdad worked at the mill and knew Norb's, dad, Jerry. And so Jerry took it upon himself to.

Jessica Linzmeier: [00:03:42] Forced me to be friends with her

Brittany Lutz: [00:03:44] He made her be my friend.I was new to the

Trista, Host: [00:03:48] school And Norb were you like a willing participant or was it like, Oh no.

Jessica Linzmeier: [00:03:53] Who wants to hang out with the new kid?

Trista, Host: [00:03:56] How did she win you over?

Jessica Linzmeier: [00:04:00] I think. I don't know, really. My dad made us like, ha hang out. Yeah.

Brittany Lutz: [00:04:06] We spent a lot of time together and I think it just

Jessica Linzmeier: [00:04:10] looking back, I think he just wanted extra help, like in the yard doing chores, child labor, but it worked out,

Trista, Host: [00:04:20] it worked out. And so you've been friends for how long now?

Brittany Lutz: [00:04:24] What did we

Jessica Linzmeier: [00:04:24] just figured this out 20, 24 years? It'll be 25 years. Yeah. Yeah.

Trista, Host: [00:04:30] So you're pretty young still.

Jessica Linzmeier: [00:04:34] Yeah. I'm 34. I'll be 34 next month. And we've been friends since we were nine. Yeah. Checked our math before we like threw those numbers out.

Trista, Host: [00:04:45] Totally fine. It's close enough. And so do you anticipate being friends forever?

Like if we had this conversation in your fifties and sixties, would you still be sitting in this freaking cold Jeep together, huddle telling this story

Jessica Linzmeier: [00:04:59] funny you should mention that because actually. It'll probably be me and Brittany's husband in a convertible then.

Brittany Lutz: [00:05:06] That sounds really really bad. Really bad.

Trista, Host: [00:05:11] Yeah, it does sound bad.So now you need to explain that.

Brittany Lutz: [00:05:15] So Norb thinks that my husband is just way cooler than me and they have like a good friendship. So the big joke was if I ever. Kicked the bucket that they're gonna just ride off into the sunset.

Trista, Host: [00:05:35] So now, if you ever do kick the bucket, the smallest amount of suspicion, we're looking over at them, right?.

Jessica Linzmeier: [00:05:40] She said that

Brittany Lutz: [00:05:41] Yea I said she better not be plotting anything.

Trista, Host: [00:05:46] Now what's your husband's name?

Brittany Lutz: [00:05:48] My husband's name is Dave.

Trista, Host: [00:05:50] Dave. Okay. So Dave, how did you and Dave end up together?

Brittany Lutz: [00:05:55] Oh, that's, that's a long story. Well we

Jessica Linzmeier: [00:05:59] Probably started with some Busch light too.

Brittany Lutz: [00:06:02] I was bartending and I was, one of his buddies was asking me for numbers and stuff. And for girls to just set up with his friend, Dave and ended up asking me, well, Hey, would you be interested?

And I said, well, yeah, and so we were supposed to go ice fishing. And I told him that I'm not a morning person. I don't like if my alarm goes off at six o'clock in the morning, I'm probably just going to shut it off. So I might be up and I might not. So he came to pick me up and I wasn't up. So it was a solid year later that we ended up having our first date.

Then that was the end of that. We just,

Jessica Linzmeier: [00:06:54] and now he's my friend,

Trista, Host: [00:06:56] let's say so now how did Norb get into the whole process? Like what part of your dating history?

Jessica Linzmeier: [00:07:02] I actually beacme friends with him.

Brittany Lutz: [00:07:06] I don't,

Jessica Linzmeier: [00:07:06] it was way later.

Brittany Lutz: [00:07:07] Yeah. I think that's just because, I mean, we have, we have five kids, so it's like. They're now starting to get old enough that like, we can spend more time together.

It's easier, but, and my husband worked out a town and so it was just, it, it was hard to get together.

Jessica Linzmeier: [00:07:27] She moved away. So like, and then we both kind of were in relationships at the same time, really? Like within a year, both of us, you know, we're like set up in our settling down phase. So yeah.

Trista, Host: [00:07:41] So Norb you're married too with kids, right? Yes. Yes. And so you, how many kids do you have?

Jessica Linzmeier: [00:07:48] I have two girls. Eight and five.

And. Not to make me sound like the weirdo, she, her and my husband are awfully close too and they share a desk at work like,

Trista, Host: [00:08:00] There's nothing. Untoured nothing untoward going on. Just really close families that hang out together. And it sounds like you've been quarantining together. Which is nice that you have more community and a larger group of people you can be with.

It's been me and my husband and that's it for like a year now. So that's awesome.

So you had this photo shoot done. So, and I'll have a picture of it up. Actually as the episode artwork, it was done by a professional photographer. It was you two ladies, some beer and a Jeep. I mean, what more could you ask for? So what was the inspiration and what was the background of that?

Jessica Linzmeier: [00:08:44] Well, when we were 18, we. Didn't know what to get our families for Christmas. So we took pictures of ourselves with our dogs and like framed them and gave them to all of our family members for Christmas. So it was whatever, over a decade ago. So we thought, what better time than now to just like recreate that with beer and the Jeep. So

Trista, Host: [00:09:13] we

Jessica Linzmeier: [00:09:13] were, Oh, that was before, like she had a Saint Bernard or a St. Bernard's. And I had like a little Wiener dog and we took like, we legit did this. Like we were wearing like antlers on our head in front of a fireplace. Like,

Brittany Lutz: [00:09:28] yeah, they're nice.

Super corny.

Trista, Host: [00:09:32] That's adorable.

Jessica Linzmeier: [00:09:33] I'm sure everyone. It was their, probably their favorite Christmas gift that year.

Brittany Lutz: [00:09:38] So we wanted to do that again, but we're going to make them calendars. Yeah. Our photo shoot so that they could just think about us every day when they looked at their calendar.

Trista, Host: [00:09:52] I love that. Well, the picture's awesome. Like it came out great. And then as I said, I ended up seeing it on a mom's group. So how did it end up getting shared? I don't know if it was considered viral, but it was definitely share all over the place.

Jessica Linzmeier: [00:10:06] Yeah. Yeah. And it gets just, it was like under 80, just under 80,000 shares.

Trista, Host: [00:10:12] I would call that viral. So we

Jessica Linzmeier: [00:10:14] were like, we were shocked when like five people shared it. We're like, what the heck?

Trista, Host: [00:10:20] You didn't expect it to have the kind of excitement it did.

Jessica Linzmeier: [00:10:23] We like joked, like we wore those drink, Wisconsinbly shirts, just like as funny, like, Oh, that'd be like, cool.

Cause my daughter, a couple of years ago, my youngest daughter had a Drink Wisconsinbly like can koozie on a water bottle. And they had picked her. They seen her photograph and had picked her as like the person of the day. And so. That like

Brittany Lutz: [00:10:48] it was, our goal was to have.

Jessica Linzmeier: [00:10:49] I don't even think it was really a goal though. Like, I don't think we, I think, like, I don't think we thought it would really happen at least I didn't.

Brittany Lutz: [00:10:56] No, I didn't really think it would happen. We were hoping that they would share it.

Jessica Linzmeier: [00:11:00] Yeah.If we wore those shirts Yeah.

Brittany Lutz: [00:11:03] The photographer is a friend of mine, Ashley Herek, and she. I mean, she just is phenomenal. Yeah, it

Jessica Linzmeier: [00:11:13] did. Actually. We, I think how we started talking about the pictures was because my daughter, so we had family photos and she's like pretty, probably like the biggest one around.

Here like photographer. wise you know what I mean? Yeah. And so we had family pictures with her. We had waited like months, my family and my daughter, my lovely five-year-old daughter cut herself a mullet the week before our pictures. So it was bad. I kept the mullet and then I, I pinned in the back of her hair up.

So. Like in our family pictures, you couldn't really tell, but so at the end of our photo shoot, I took her hair down and then my husband and my other daughter, and I. Got mullet wigs off of Amazon. And so those were included in our family photos. Also these mullet, like, rocker pictures.

Trista, Host: [00:12:09] Oh myGoodness, I love it. Now, did that make the calendar cut? The mullet pictures,

Jessica Linzmeier: [00:12:15] Actually, we felt like our fame was enough that our family should just be proud of us and we didn't even go forward with the camera, the calendar.

Brittany Lutz: [00:12:25] I honestly think that everybody is so sick of us. Yeah. And our families because of our Facebook fame.

Everywhere

Jessica Linzmeier: [00:12:33] we go.

Trista, Host: [00:12:34] Yeah. I mean, cause now you're famous.

You're Facebook famous.

Brittany Lutz: [00:12:38] Yeah. So nobody really cares to see our pictures anymore.

Trista, Host: [00:12:44] I was going to ask you. So did your family love this picture? As much as the internet did.

Jessica Linzmeier: [00:12:50] I think my mom was the only hater. She wasn't like negative about it, but she's like, wow, I'm really proud of you guys. Then she ended up being the biggest, like support she checked how many shares we had, like every hour.

Brittany Lutz: [00:13:08] Yeah, she'd be like messaging us. You guys are up to this many.

Jessica Linzmeier: [00:13:11] So she came around.

Trista, Host: [00:13:16] So we have to give a nod to the Jeep because the Jeep community, like you said, like people name their Jeeps. And tell me a little story about how this Jeep came to be into your life.

Jessica Linzmeier: [00:13:26] My dad always had like a couple of Jeeps growing up. Like I learned my first vehicle I learned to drive in was an old Jeep, but so we have children and so we got more like vehicles that practical Israel's for, like, for, you know, like babies and, but my kids are getting older now.

And in January I spotted this Jeep down from the shop that my family owns. And I was like, man, I like really want that. And like, I was obsessed. I had it on my w my wallpaper on my phone. We would drive by it numerous times. I like looked up the color. It was bikini, Pearl. And so everyone, like, we referred to it as my Jeep and it was nowhere close to at that time.

But so months went by and, you know, even the pandemic, I feel like played a part in this whole thing a little bit. So the schools closed. I had like my knee, I was watching my niece, my nephew a couple of days. Like I cut my hours way back at work to take care of my kids. I feel like I had your kids lot.

Like I was just, I like really put. My like life on hold to like help everybody around me. My husband like left his job that he had been at for over a decade and went to like work for my family business. And so when mother's day rolled around, they were, I feel like my family was messing with me the whole week.

Like my husband was like, Oh, you're going to love your present. And my mom was making comments. Like, everyone's just really hopeful that. You get this Jeep and, you know, we're all like rooting for you. And, and so mother's day rolled around. I had been working. And I, the whole week they were like saying stuff like that.

So I thought, man, I know this is like crazy. Like people don't expect to get vehicles for mother's day, but in my head, I was like, man, I've really been doing a lot for these guys. I bet they do love me. And they're going to give me this Jeep and then it was gone. It was at the dealership I was looking at, it was gone.

Trista, Host: [00:15:32] And you noticed when it left, because to watch for it and look at it, right?

Brittany Lutz: [00:15:36] These

Jessica Linzmeier: [00:15:36] guys bought me this cheap. I know it. So I came home from work and my brother was here. So it's not unusual for him to be here, but it was late like 10 o'clock at night. And so I was like, I bet he's here to videotape my reaction when they give me my Jeep. So I like showered.

I got ready for the presentation of these Jeep keys. I was devastated when I was presented with some handmade cards

Brittany Lutz: [00:16:09] And a hanging basket..

Jessica Linzmeier: [00:16:10] And a hanging basket. Yeah. So needless to say I cried a lot. Yeah, I wasn't like ungrateful. I just, I really. Well,

Trista, Host: [00:16:19] it sounds like they built you up to have your hopes up too.

Yeah, well, it has a happy ending you're sitting in the Jeep. So how did this go from tears to cheers?

Jessica Linzmeier: [00:16:33] It's mother's day was Sunday, Monday. I did like the pre-approval application and I drove it home Tuesday.

Brittany Lutz: [00:16:41] So you

Trista, Host: [00:16:41] said F You you I'm getting my Jeep, now you've messed with me. That's it?

Jessica Linzmeier: [00:16:48] Yeah. That's how it happened.

Trista, Host: [00:16:52] All right.

Well, but you said it was missing from the lot?

Jessica Linzmeier: [00:16:55] Well, it w yeah, that, so that one, I don't know whatever happened to that one, but in a town near here. It was like 20 miles. Cause my kids were like devastated too. They were like, they, I mean, it was months. Like we were looking at this Jeep, like they, my kids referred to it as mom's Jeep when we would drive by.

So I think it was that Monday, actually. I think it was my brother that like spotted one in Stevens point, like. Maybe 20 miles from where we live when, he was working. And so we like went and stalked this Jeep on that Monday and then Tuesday, I brought it at home.

Trista, Host: [00:17:32] And it's the right color. And it's the right color and everything too?

Which Jeep is it?

Jessica Linzmeier: [00:17:40] It's a 2020 Wrangler. The JL model. Which happened to be my initials. And so I thought like this was totally destined to be Hello!,

Trista, Host: [00:17:50] meant to be. Now you've mentioned, Norb have you've mentioned your family business a few times and Brittany, I think you work for the family business and now your husband works for the family business. So let's talk about this family business. What is the business?

Jessica Linzmeier: [00:18:09] It is Crockett Septic. So they, they pumped up the tanks and holding tanks.

And my dad started it when I was in like junior high, going into high school. And so obviously like the nickname, it was super embarrassing. Like he would drop me off at school, in the subject truck, like, but then my parents are divorced and my dad went to Iraq. And ended up selling the business to my mom and her boyfriend.

So they have had it now, like, I don't know, I think like 10 years or so. Yeah, like 10, 11 years. And my mom, when my dad had it, he had like a couple of septic trucks and then maybe like 10 port-a-potties, but my

Brittany Lutz: [00:18:58] mom just started getting into the portal. I think

Jessica Linzmeier: [00:19:00] he had 'em and then like got rid of them. He never was like big into the port-a-potty thing.

Thing, but my mom and George, her boyfriend have like, totally expanded this port-a-potty it's like huge around here. So like we have events that they go to and take like close to 200 port-a-potties to some more. Big deal.

Trista, Host: [00:19:27] Wow. Do they have any portable luxury too?

Jessica Linzmeier: [00:19:33] They've got family units they that have like a baby changing station.

There's handicap units, the hand-washing stations, you know, but I think the big thing that like that stands them all is they're super particular about the cleaning and. And they keep

Brittany Lutz: [00:19:57] events. They, they decorate the insides and they're just way cleaner than. Other places.

Trista, Host: [00:20:09] Well, it sounds like. It sounds like you guys have lots of fun. You find lots of ways to entertain your kids and yourselves and your family.

What kinds of stuff have you been enjoying doing together as a family or as families to get through this whole pandemic? Cause I know it's been really hard for a lot of people.

Jessica Linzmeier: [00:20:27] We bought a pool and then Brittany basically hauled her camper here. And we've, we camped all summer

Brittany Lutz: [00:20:36] when we do that. We like to camp in the summertime and the

Jessica Linzmeier: [00:20:40] kids would have dirt bikes and four wheelers and outdoor stuff.

Trista, Host: [00:20:46] Yeah. That's fun. So you have a lot of hobbies that work really well in a social distancing stay outside kind of setting. Yeah,

Brittany Lutz: [00:20:54] but it's kind of, I mean, with, with Norb really helps me out, like, because I just started working away from home. So now she helps me with yeah. Cause I was home for 10 years. I did in-home daycare while my, while my kids were really little.

So. Yeah. So now I just started working for Crockett septic and I work. Also for modern image, right near me, I'm doing bookkeeping and stuff. So she helps me a lot with daycare. And so we, with this pandemic, I mean, we were always together anyway, so it was nice to be able to haul the camper over here.

Jessica Linzmeier: [00:21:41] And we rented a skating rink like a couple of weeks ago and privately had all the kids go. It was like an old one. Like there's no rollerblading, no like skateboarding, none of that stuff. It was like legit old school roller skates.

Trista, Host: [00:21:58] Like when I was a kid

Brittany Lutz: [00:22:01] super fun.

Trista, Host: [00:22:05] Just say it was dangerous.

Brittany Lutz: [00:22:07] I could roller blade probably not anymore, but I used to be able to rollerblade well and getting on the roller skates.

I was scared.

Jessica Linzmeier: [00:22:16] My oldest daughter is a good rollerblader and she, yeah. Had her roller skates on and was like, was not having that. She was like, I can't do. And then when we got ours on, I was like, Oh man, I owe you an apology. This is hard.

Trista, Host: [00:22:35] Ohh my gosh. You know, I was, I'm about to be 50. So I was like, that's what you did when I was in junior high is you went to the roller rink every weekend. I don't know if there's night, Friday when it, whatever it was, they had the whole take your skates off and slow dance in your socks. They had like the really crappy pizza and the, you know, video games.

It was like what you did. And then later, When rollerblading came out, I got really into that and we would take our roller blades to the beach and, you know, rollerblade all along the boardwalk and all kinds of stuff. And then we were cleaning out our house and I found my roller blades and the pads and the know kind of stuff.

I'm like, I'm going roller plating. I end up on this little cul-de-sac and I fall and I'm like, I've fallen and I can't get up. Like I couldn't get up cause I'm in the skates. And I, I just, I, you know, my body was shaped differently than it was when I rollerbladed the last time. So I actually, I can't believe I'm telling you this on a podcast, like actually like crawled on my knees to the closest driveway.

And I used the back bumper of the car to get myself situated and I ended up taking the. Rollerblades off and walking home in my socks. That was so

Brittany Lutz: [00:23:59] good.

Jessica Linzmeier: [00:23:59] Follow up to Brittany

Brittany Lutz: [00:24:00] story though.

Jessica Linzmeier: [00:24:02] Like she used to also just last week,

Brittany Lutz: [00:24:06] Friday, actually with our photographer

and another and another mom in our area, we had a nice friendly game of basketball and I. I went down, so I kind of jumped forward and I felt a big pop in my knee. And so long story short, I have an appointment tomorrow with the orthopedic person. Oh man. He can look at my ACL. So.

No Busch light involved either.

Trista, Host: [00:24:51] So it was Busch, like the official beer of Wisconsin. Is it from Wisconsin?

Brittany Lutz: [00:24:56] No, no. We actually caught a

Jessica Linzmeier: [00:24:58] lot of heat for that. And actually, you know, I do drink Miller light. That is a Wisconsin beer, and that is what I typically drink. And I mean, I drink Busch light too, but. Brittany didn't want two different types of beer in the photo shoot.

So that was why we did both have Busch light.

Brittany Lutz: [00:25:22] We should have had Miller, light and point.

Jessica Linzmeier: [00:25:25] Yeah.

Trista, Host: [00:25:25] Well, that's still a really good photo. So what else do you want to share?

Brittany Lutz: [00:25:28] I think, I think it's pretty comical though. Cause like Norm's mom thinks that our co-dependency is what she calls us. Yeah. Codependent . She thinks it's getting a little out of control. That's

Jessica Linzmeier: [00:25:41] what she said about the photo shoot.

She's like who knew. What 2020 needed was just like some drunk pictures of you two floating around the internet.

Brittany Lutz: [00:25:54] So we just never thought it was going to amount to what it did. I mean, you know, yeah. There's no way. I mean, we laughed about, Oh, we're probably going to go viral

Jessica Linzmeier: [00:26:03] and then.

Brittany Lutz: [00:26:05] Like man, there's a lot of people that have seen this it's kind of alarming. Like I seen there's some guy that had our picture, like as his Facebook profile, like that's kinda creepy.

Trista, Host: [00:26:18] Oh my gosh. Yeah.

Jessica Linzmeier: [00:26:20] Yup. That Jeep, underground magazine. Wanted us to give a littleinfo, for their magazine spread. We don't know when the issue for that is coming out yet, but we did do that. I dunno. I just feel like people should know our friendship is like genuine, you know, like we still have sleepovers.

Brittany Lutz: [00:26:42] Yeah. Our husbands are real big fans of that. They

Trista, Host: [00:26:46] don't. I mean, that is a question I have, like, are your husband's supportive that you are like, maybe I don't know, as close with each other as you are to them, maybe?

Jessica Linzmeier: [00:26:56] I would say I'm probably closer to Brittany.

Trista, Host: [00:26:59] I mean, I didn't want to go there. I did not want to go there.

Jessica Linzmeier: [00:27:07] My husband is I think her husband. Enjoys hanging out with me and my presence, but I don't think he's so onboard with just like when we want to just like have a movie night, like yeah. My husband will fully take the couch for Brittany to take his spot and our bed. And David's just not there yet.

Brittany Lutz: [00:27:34] I think for the longest time though, because we were so busy with our own lives. That this whole spending so much time together is a little bit new for

Jessica Linzmeier: [00:27:44] him. Yeah, that's true. The other thing is like with the family dynamic, like both of our husbands work they're, like all summer, like sunup to sundown, they're gone all the time.

So I kind of I've said before, like I feel like even we kind of take on like the father roles a little bit in the summer time of each other's kids when they're working so much, you know, Yeah. Yeah.

Trista, Host: [00:28:09] Well, I just love how close you are because you've, I'm sure it really helped you, especially this year .

I mean, nobody will argue that you are super fun ladies. I've really enjoyed having you on. But I always like to turn the table before we wrap up and see if you have a question for me. Sure.

Do you guys have a question?

Brittany Lutz: [00:28:27] Did you think of one?

I know we were going to wait. That was the whole big plan is we were going to have a really good one for you.

Trista, Host: [00:28:40] I'm glad that you didn't. Cause it probably would have been a doozie between the two of you.

Brittany Lutz: [00:28:46] Have you ever participated in any of like the poop jobs? Like, have you ever gone on a poop job with your friends, with your friends?

Trista, Host: [00:29:03] That is a great question. And it is a resounding no, thank you. In fact, I have a very low tolerance for gross.

And so if I'm helping them with their social media or whatever, it has to pass my gross test for me to post it. you know, there's home Depot buckets, the orange ones. They're like pretty big. It was, I can't even, it was like overfilled with wipes that people had flushed the clogged, the system. And she sent it to me, my friend Sharon, she sent the owner. She's like here, these are great... posts these! I'm like, no.

Jessica Linzmeier: [00:29:44] I think we should get a vanity plate on one of the poop trucks and then do another whole segment on just that like

Trista, Host: [00:29:54] I would love to, because one of my, yeah, abs when I'm working with, I mostly work with the CEO Sharon and one of my jobs is to make her blog about stories, like

Stories, like stories about like weird jobs, interesting jobs, you know?

You found an entire tree root system in the pipe or whatever else. And she'll send me these pictures and she'll be like, look at this picture. This is so amazing. And I'm like, it's, , dirt, like there's nothing going on in this photo. Clearly the story. Is what makes it interesting, but I don't get it.

Jessica Linzmeier: [00:30:28] That's like the enthusiasm my husband has. He called, like, he calls it, finding treasures when he's like pumping port-a-potties. He's found jewelry, things that I probably wouldn't mention on here.

Wrenches pipe wrenches to like different tools, money, like phones, all sorts of stuff.

Trista, Host: [00:30:48] Well, Sharon's husband started the business he has a ton of stories like that.

Of, you know, he, I think he helped a dog escape from a septic tank once, or maybe he found a deer.

But I would love to do an entire episode about Crocket septic. So you get that vanity plate and we will book another time

Jessica Linzmeier: [00:31:11] we got to do that.

Trista, Host: [00:31:13] Awesome. Well, I am so happy to have had you both on, I really appreciate you saying yes when I reached out from your viral photo on the internet,

But I really appreciate you taking some time and being cold. So you'll be able to go back into your warm houses and enjoy the rest of your day.

Brittany Lutz: [00:31:35] Well, thank you for having me.

Absolutely. Bye-bye.

Trista, Host: [00:31:40] Thank you for joining us for this week's episode of Trista's PL8STORY podcast. Please subscribe to Trista's PL8STORY podcast to get the story behind all those vanity plates, driving with you on the road. And if you would like to nominate the owner of a license plate, including you... Or visit any of our partners and sponsors come and see us www.pl8story.com. That's P L number eight story.com and give us the details.

If you enjoyed this episode, please drop a review and give us a share. I'm Trista Polo wishing you well on the road to your next adventure.

REINA - Plate 59 - Trista's PL8STORY Podcast with Kristina of Denver, CO

trista@iwokeupawesome.com (Trista Polo) — Mon, 01 Mar 2021 08:45:01 GMT

REINA - Plate 59 - Kristina of Denver, CO

This week we meet Kristina Campos from Denver Colorado. She is founder of The Impactful Parent - a company dedicated to helping parents navigate through the Tween Years and beyond. She offers community, resources and advice as well as a safe space to ask questions. Kristina is the host of The Impactful Parenting Podcast and also offers coaching for parents both one-on-one and small group. Krista went through a painful divorce and came out stronger and ready to make a difference for her children and the parenting community. Let’s go meet Kristina. https://theimpactfulparent.com

Connect with Kristina:

www.facebook.com/groups/theimpactfulparent

www.instagram.com/theimpactfulparent

https://theimpactfulparent.com/youtube

FREEBIE https://theimpactfulparent.com/lifebeyondchildren

WEBSITE https://theimpactfulparent.com

Episode Transcript - REINA

Welcome. I'm excited today to have Kristina Campos from Denver, Colorado. Her license plate is REINA, and we're going to hear the story behind it. Welcome Kristina.

Kristina Campos: Thank you for having me.

Trista, Host: I'm so excited to have you. Now tell me the story behind why you chose the plate REINA.

Kristina Campos: Oh, my goodness. Well, my story actually begins with me crying in my closet.

And if you're a parent, you know exactly what I'm talking about because it's that place you go in your home to get away from your children to go talk to your girlfriend on the phone, without having all these ears like listening to you. And for me, it's also a place where I go and sit by myself and maybe even show emotion.

So. I have been crying in my closet for a few months and rewind a little bit. And the reason I'm crying in my closet was because my husband had asked for a divorce and I didn't take it very lightly. It was not something that I wanted. We had a really story book, marriage. I met him when I was young. We went to college together.

After college, we got married after we got married, we had four beautiful children. And then in my late thirties, the ball kind of dropped on me where he wasn't happy anymore and he wanted to go his separate ways. And divorce is hard, no matter what, like everybody, like, I feel like it's, it's just such a flip your life upside down part of your journey and it's sometimes unexpected as it is with me. And I think a lot of times you can see it coming, but not always. And I had this vision that I was going to be married and had my kids forever. Like I'm Catholic. Like we don't get divorced. Like it was like a big you know, I, nobody in my family has ever gotten divorced.

I had this vision that I was going to be a mainly stay at home parent or a part-time working mom, parent. Because I loved parenting. I loved having my children. I'm from a long line to stay at home moms. And that's, that's what I wanted for myself. That's how I always saw my life kind of ending up.

And then when he told me that he wanted a divorce, I, I crumbled. Not only because I was devastated that he wanted to, to do that. But also because my life was going to flip upside down and you start to question everything, absolutely everything in those moments. Do I really want to watch this TV show or my watching it because it's habit.

And he used to like it. Do I want to cook this for dinner tonight or. Do I even really like that for dinner? Is that something I'm just used to cooking? You start to analyze everything and then the fear sets in and now it's like, what am I going to do now? How am I going? He was the breadwinner of our family and I'm a, how am I going to support myself?

How am I going to push forward? I'm going to have to work. Working wasn't bad. I love my job. I'm a teacher by profession and I love teaching, but as you know, it's not the best paying job out there. And it takes a lot of effort. It takes a lot of time and I thought, Oh, my kids need me. This is what I need to stay home with them where our lives are changing.

And not only at that, I had some emerging teenagers at the time. So couple, an already difficult thing for anyone to go through, including your children, but to become it being a teenager. In the middle of it is also very difficult because those years, as we know are just hard.

Trista, Host: So they're already hard. I was going to ask you how old were your kids when all this was happening?

Kristina Campos: So today they're eight, 10, 16, and 18, and this happened six years ago. So they were, they were, some of them were very small. My youngest one doesn't remember me ever being married, which blows my mind. Cause I was married for over 13 years, you know? So but it it's just this life shaking thing to make things even more on top of it.

I started to doubt myself. And I think this happens a lot when it's not a mutual or, or you didn't want that to happen to you thing. You feel like, you know, you're being abandoned. You, you have those abandonment issues that start to arise. You feel like you're being rejected. Why me? What's wrong with me?

Start going through these horrible. Thoughts in your mind about why is this happening? I don't understand what I did. And then it goes into a place of who is ever going to want this. And for me, I thought who's going to want this I'm in my late thirties. I'm not a young woman anymore. I have four children that will come first in my life, no matter what.

And who wants to step into that, who wants to step into and join me as a partner when these aren't their kids. And I'm still at the time again with small children, even, and teenagers, you know, who wants to deal with the arguing and the fighting matches and spit ups and the throwing up when they get sick and all of the things that Parenthood does and has that comes with it. Why would anyone, anybody wants to join me in that? And I didn't under, I didn't get it.

Trista, Host: Well, and not only that, but you weren't even sure why you were being left from the man that you loved and wanted to be married to. So I could imagine that probably made you question a lot about yourself as well on top of that.

Yeah,

Kristina Campos: yeah. So much. And you begin to think, okay, well, I got, I can't just sit here and cry in my closet forever. I I have to move forward. I have to get ready. There's a, now there's a clock ticking literally of when I'm going to have to start really supporting myself, which is the end of my alimony is how it usually works in divorce.

So now there's a clock ticking, I got a time period that I need to pull my stuff together and figure out where I'm going. And although you want to sit there and cry in your closet forever. I think when you're a parent, That pivot becomes a little bit easier because you have also these eyes watching you, you have these people who are looking to you for support for saying, what are we going to do now?

How are you going to react to this? And so eventually I made that that choice to pivot. And said, okay, I've let it all out. I've mourned my sadness for this, but it's time to move forward. And now what do I want to do? And then the self evaluation and discovery starts to begin. The problem is, is that's really hard.

It sounds so easy when I say it, but it's a very, very difficult time period because for me, I looked at myself in the mirror and I said, Who is this person? And I don't understand where, how I got here. Everything was going well, what happened? I don't, I don't get it. How can I be so blinded? And I realize now, in retrospect, after having time to really rebuild and, and reflect quite a bit, a lot of this happened because I had lost myself in Parenthood.

Which is extremely common for a lot of parents, especially those that stay at home with their children and don't have something outside of the home that kind of grounds them away from only being a parent and gives them something else to, to go and be, or the happy hours that, that working person, that entrepreneur, whatever it is that you are, that doctor whoever So I feel like it happens a lot because you put so much into your children on top of that, couple it with through my self discovery process, I discovered that I'm a giver I give and I give and I give, and that's what I like to do at the end of the day.

That's what fills me up and lets me sleep well at night is helping others. But at the same time, I wasn't able to turn it off. At the end of the day. So I would go to work, which again, I'm a school teacher. I would go to work and I would be helping all these children. And at the end of the day, I was exhausted from helping everyone and for putting all that effort in.

So I had to make some tough choices that I needed to quit that job and stopped taking care of everybody else's kids and start taking care of my own. And that was really hard because I love teaching, but it did eventually lead me to my, my new job, which is my own business, which I founded, which is called the impactful parent.

But again, it's just it's so, so difficult now through all of this. My friends and I, I was so blessed to have two amazing woman who became my friends after the divorce. One of the things that I did to rebuild myself with saying, I need a redo button right now, slap this button. And one of those things that I did to rebuild myself was, you know, what.

I want to meet all new people. I need to meet people who know me for me, Christina, who doesn't know mom, Christina, who doesn't know teacher, Christina, who doesn't know the wife of my ex husband, Christina. I want fresh eyes and it's really hard to make friends as an adult, by the way, practice.

It was one of my goals. And luckily again, in a divorce, it's kind of a little bit easier to let go of some of the friendships that you used to have because people feel like they have to choose between you and your ex-husband anyway. Right. So I kind of just let them pick him and not to say that I don't, I'm not cordial or like, Talk to these people, but I stopped putting the effort to continue those relationships.

And I started putting more effort into building new relationships. So I joined meetup groups and I I joined a volleyball league and all these things to make new friends. And through that process, I met these two wonderful women who became my new besties and they of course like more people who become into your life, they come into your life for reasons.

And Also going through their own turbulent times, trying to find friends. So we gravitated to each other to support one another and then it became my birthday. And I said, we need to go get out, get out. I have to get out of this place. I want to go away and just like be us and let's just have a relaxing weekend away.

So I we piled up the car and we went on a road trip and. When we went to this road trip I ended up just randomly meeting. It was just a weekend away in in Santa Fe, actually. And so I happened to randomly meet this lovely young man. And this young man is I say young because he's, he is much younger than me.

He's seven years younger than me. Okay. And at the time I thought it's fine. I mean, I'm not looking for anything serious. It's a weekend away.

And so I entertained his attention and I let him take me out with my friends, of course, cause we were all there. I wasn't going to be, I didn't have my friends, but he brought in his friends and we all ended up going out that we can have a wonderful time. And after the weekend's over, I drive, we wrote, shipped back home.

I don't even live in the same state.

Trista, Host: So he lived in Santa Fe?

Kristina Campos: Yes. Yep. Okay. And so I was like, okay, well, I'm I'm, you know, again, it was very nice meeting you. Thank you so much, but you know, see you later. Bye bye. And this man was resilient and saw something in me that I did not see in myself. And he kept in touch and he kept calling and I got to know him better and better on a deeper level through phone calls. And I kept saying you don't want this. Okay. First of all, I'm way older than you. Second of all,

Trista, Host: let me talk to you out of why you do not have any interest in me.

Kristina Campos: Absolutely. Absolutely. Trying to talk him out of it because I was like, I am a hot, crazy mess. I am out of a divorce.

I don't know who I am. Exactly. I'm trying to rediscover myself. I'm trying to rebuild my whole life all over again. On top of all of that, I got four kids that are my shadows that are going to come first. And again, I can't imagine anybody wanting that. So why would you want this? Like so nice to meet you.

Come on.

Trista, Host: We have no future. Now, how long after your breakup with your husband? How long after you were married, did you meet him?

It wasKristina Campos: about a year and a half after the divorce had ended. Yup. Yup. And so I was like, you don't, I I'm crazy. This is, this is I'm I'm still rebuilding. And again, he just was resilient and he wouldn't go away. And I felt bad because he was investing all this time in me and I was grateful for it, but I felt bad for it. At the same time I had guilt because thinking, you know, You are an awesome person. Like I can see why any woman would want to be or could be with you.

Why are you wasting? Because in my mind, that's what I was wasting your time on me because you can go and be with so many other people and you can have. Yeah, we're still old enough here where we're still looking for partners. We're not like nonchalantly, you know, like flings or anything like that. At this age, in our life, I felt like, why don't you want to go have your own children?

I'm not going to have any more children I'm done. I have four. That's plenty. The four I have have all of my attention. I'm not anticipating bringing any more into my life. So why would you give that up was some of the things going through my mind? And he just was like, I it's fine. I like kids. And, but you know, it's okay if they're not my own.

And he was very open. I still don't understand it to this day,

you already said it. You said he saw something in you, you couldn't see in yourself. Yes. Like you had your whole life turned upside down, you lost something that you thought you would have forever. And as a giver who doesn't seem to take a hundred percent responsibility for your own self care, you probably see that other people are always going to measure up better than you.

Trista, Host: Right. So, I mean, I could see how you'd think that. And luckily. He did not get sold on your, a sales pitch of you don't want me, I have too much baggage and not enough for you. You don't want me.

Yeah. I mean, I am so lucky that he, he saw that. And so cool. I can't tell you how grateful I am for all of that.

Kristina Campos: Because in the end. And I pushed him away. Let me tell you for at least another full year. Okay.

Trista, Host: Wow. And he's still in Santa Fe and you're still in Denver.

Kristina Campos: And I remember when finally I started calling him my boyfriend a year after I've already met him. And I. My friends were like, Oh gosh, it's about time.

I mean, come on. He's like this poor guy, like I'm snorting, because I think it's hilarious. poor guy, how could we don't understand why he's, he's not listening? Like you have pushed, pushed and pushed. Thanks God you finally gave in because he's a good person. You're we, we don't want you to lose him. You know, accept the love Kristina is pretty much what my friends were.

Trista, Host: That's good advice, accept the love being offered to you.

Kristina Campos: And so I did, I started accepting the love and I introduced him to my children who also, you know, liked him and that he was nice. And over that time, I didn't think anybody could love me like that again. I don't think anybody has loved me like that, the way he loves me and to him, I am his queen.

And he would introduce me to people. Even as that, if I saw I met somebody new, he would say, this is my queen, Kristina, but he did it in Spanish, which in Spanish is Reina. So he would say, this is mi reina. And as I was going through that, I started adopting, he just said it over and over and over and over again to me.

And I think you have to hear things, this crazy statistic about, you have to hear things about like 40 times before they sink in. While more than that, for me, let me tell you. But after years of hearing, "you are my queen, you are a queen", you know, you

Trista, Host: can do it. I got chills by the way. I mean, just hearing his, honoring you with that out loud, like all the way through my body gave me chills.

Kristina Campos: Thank you. And it's still, I'm so grateful. I got to go back to gratefulness because that's really how I feel more than anything else inside. And then that That came to a point where in my divorce, after everything was final and I'm starting to rebuild again. I thought I'm going to buy myself something nice.

And I haven't bought myself many nice things and not like a, a woman who wears lots of like fancy jewelry. And I like boots, cause I'm a shoe person. But other than boots. Like, I don't really splurge on like a lot of really expensive clothing or makeup or jewels or things like that.

Trista, Host: You probably splurge on your kids, if I had to guess, do you splurge? I could do that as you see. Yeah. You just get a splurge on them before you ever splurge on yourself.

Kristina Campos: Yeah. But I, I decided I'm going to splurge on something for me. And I think I want myself a new car. I want something that says just for Kristina, something that is not the family vehicle.

Cause I've been through minivans and SUV's, I have plenty of that. I'm like, I want something that when my children are with my ex-husband, for their visit with him or time to spend with him, that I can be me and throw the Parenthood off the window for just, you know, the few hours or the day or two, whatever I'm freedom I have at that moment.

You know, throw that inhabition aside and get into my car. So I thought, Oh, I want a convertible. I want, it's going to have to be like a two seater something. I cannot bring my kids in. Like it's going to force me to be Kristina. And so I buy this new, this new car. And when I got, got the new car, I thought, all right, I need a license plate.

I know exactly what I want it to say.

Trista, Host: REINA. Yep. And it's spelled R E I N A.

Kristina Campos: Yes. Cause that's the Spanish. That's how you spell it in Spanish.

Trista, Host: Yeah. Awesome. So what kind of car did you get?

I actually got myself a nice little Porsche.

Kristina Campos: I would say that's a splurge that is a splurge yes.

Trista, Host: That's awesome. Congratulations.

Kristina Campos: Thank you.

Trista, Host: It's wonderful you did that for yourself, but I love the symbolism of it as well. Like that's what really hits me about it is the symbolic. I choose myself. I give to myself, I love myself and I see myself.

Kristina Campos: Yeah. And I invested in it in a way that I don't typically invest, which is money because I don't usually spend it like kind of a cheap person, which is funny. So

Trista, Host: yeah. That's awesome. Wow. Congratulations. I really acknowledge you. Oh my goodness. For everything that you went through.

And it could have really broken you. It could have done irreparable, lifelong damage to you and your kids, right. And you really dragged yourself up from your closet and built yourself and you know yourself as a person, but also yourself as a mom. And I know that that's going to have a huge, positive impact for your kids.

So you are, I mean, the name of your company is the impactful parent, and that's really how I see you with everything that you've done for yourself to, to, you know, strengthen your resolve and your emotional state and your spiritual state. So tell us about how that turned into a company for you.

Yeah. So, like I said, through that process, I I've discovered I had to quit teaching even though I loved it.

Kristina Campos: So not only because it was probably not financially going to be sustainable for moving forward as my only source of income, but also because it was giving too much and I needed to spend more time with my children. And that's really what I wanted. The flexibility to spend time with my children when they needed me and even in my marriage, that was my role. I was the caregiver and he was the provider and it worked really well. And so I was thinking, how can I, as a solo, continue to be the caregiver even even though I still have to provide now for myself and. I went back to school actually, and got my master's degree and was trying through all this discovery process.

I didn't know what I was going to major in. I didn't know what I was going to do, but I needed to start moving forward. And that's what you kind of do in this process is you say something has to change. So I have to make some step forward and you can't wait for the light to shine and give you an epiphany.

You have to intentionally just keep moving forward in tiny steps. Even if you don't know where you're going, otherwise you get stagnant and you'll the epiphany may never come. You need to keep moving forward. It is through motion and moving forward, that will bring on the epiphany. So. You have to keep moving, keep moving.

And for me, I was like, I'm just gonna go back to school. I don't know what this is going to do. I don't know where I'm going to go with this. I have no idea what to major in for sure, but at least I know I'm bettering myself in a direction that I know I want to go in. So that's what I did. And through that process, I realized ironically, after graduation, I can't get a job because I will be the most horrible employee ever.

I will not show up to work if my kids are sick and I got four kids, the chances of somebody being sick at any one moment, pretty high.

I mean like almost a hundred percent.

I'm like, I'm just going to be a bad employee that no one's gonna want to hire me. So I, I said, okay, if I, if I can't be a good employee, I guess I'm going to have to work for myself. And then I went through another exploration of what do I have, what skills do I have that I would bring value to other people in an authentic way.

And, and again, it came back like, Children. I Know kids, I have spent day in and day out with not only my own four children for ever who are all completely different and challenging me in different ways, by the way, but also with thousands of kids that have gone through my classroom doors. And I have a very unique teaching experiences. I've taught preschool through high school, and most of that time seeing all of those levels within the same day. With in the same week because I was an elective. So most teachers have like the third grade teachers and they, or elementary teachers, and that's what they teach. And they they're good in that area. Or middle school teachers. Because I was in elective. I literally had first grade, a first grade class, and then the next class was a fourth grade class.

And then the next class was a middle school class. And then the next class after that could have been kindergarten and I bounced around all day long all through the week and really got to learn kids on a different level of their development. That's what I can do. That's what I want to do. I want to help teenagers still.

But I want to help them through the home, which is the source. I'm going to talk to their parents and help their parents navigate through their tough years so that those relationships can flourish or at least be more helpful and an easier path because it's, it is hard. And if there's no manual, I mean, if there was, that would be awesome, but obviously there's not.

And that's because parenting is trial and error. And the more resources and tips that you can get as you're navigating this journey of trial and error with your children, the easier that journey is going to be the more community and support you can have. So that's how I founded The Impactful Parent. I decided to bound it on three pillars of providing resources, providing tips and advice for free and providing community to school aged parents.

Trista, Host: That's really great. And you have a lot inside of that. You have a podcast.

Kristina Campos: I do.

Trista, Host: You have a course and people can work with you privately as well. Right? Yeah. Yeah.

Kristina Campos: Yeah.

So let's start with the podcast. Trista, Host: Tell me about your podcast.

Kristina Campos: It's actually brand new. So I'm really excited about it. It's called Impactful Parenting Podcast . So I want you to get these tips and, but I want you to get them in a way. Yeah. That's more authentic to use so that you can listen to them and I'd make sure that my unlike most podcasts, my podcasts are actually between 10 to 15 minutes long because parents are busy.

So it's something I wanted you to be able to click on quickly. I know that it's a car ride. That's it. Instead of, you know, moving further along or, or just while you're getting ready for work in the morning or whatever your day might look like. So they're quick tips in a lot of ways, but it's a lot of parent education.

And so that's what the podcast does. It just, and even all of them, the Facebook, the Instagram, the LinkedIn. I just take my content and I spread it out as much as I can. And hopefully with the podcasting community, I'm, I'm hitting another audience that would listen to me that way, because again, I just wanna make it simple for you.

I know parenting is hard enough as it is. You don't need to go search for stuff. I want it to be really easy.

Trista, Host: That's awesome. And then your course is called Behavior Management, right?

Kristina Campos: Yep. Yeah. I have a few courses, but that one's the big one. The behavior management program, helping children with big emotions.

Because a lot of times when kids hit that school age, they start to become more emotional. The hormones start to kick in and also they start to begin their identity with that identity sometimes comes anxiousness and perfectionism and all of these things that happen as they grow up. So this course really specifically hones into helping parents that have children that have like anger management issues, like really like cannot express other emotions, but anger that they just ended up exploding because they have all these other emotions inside and they can't, they don't know how to deal with them. Really. There there's too much in this little body or anxiety. It focuses on children with anxiety.

So I help you not only work with your child so that they can learn how to control those big emotions, but also work with the parent to figure out what can you do to really support your child better? How how are you? You might be contributing to the troubles at hand, and once you're aware of that, then you can not, right.

Because a lot of times as parents, we don't, we don't understand. We didn't realize that we're actually a contributor. Right. So it's a, it's an amazing program, but it's very intensive. It sounds so easy again, as I say it, but that program specifically is at the very minimum, eight weeks long, and really takes time and effort because it's a big subject.

Anger management is not going to go away overnight. That's something you have to work with your child consistently over a period of time to see change, because we're talking about people here and it, anybody who tells you it's going to go away quickly. I think that's ridiculous. It takes time. It takes effort.

Trista, Host: And yeah, I love that you're not talking about let's fix your kids. You're talking about, let's make sure that you are doing what's best for them. To help them navigate something they probably don't even understand why or how it's happening or how to manage it. That's great.

Kristina Campos: Yeah. And that's it, you know, we learn how to identify triggers. And like I said, looking at all these different facets together so we can get to the root of the problem because emotion specifically an anger since I'll use that as an example, since we're talking about it, but you know, anger is what you see, but really underneath all of that is a million other emotions. It's just that anger is what we visually see. So parents want to alleviate the anger and say, well, if I get rid of the anger, then it'll go away when really that's not the case. You have to find out why you're angry. Why is your child having explosive outbursts? Are they sensitive to their environment? Is, are they getting bullied at school? Are they scared of something? There's so many other things that could be happening and really anger is just the tip of the iceberg above the water.

Trista, Host: Yes, boy. You're right. Absolutely. Now you also will work with parents one-on-one and small groups. What kinds of things do people come to you to get support on in those cases?

Kristina Campos: Right now I see a lot of Kids that are withdrawing and oppression happening. And that's true with just everybody right now in society is where. Going through this turbulent time and, and history, I think. But imagine that our children have even less control of their environment than we do. So you might be angry or frustrated with the world right now, but can you imagine that a child whose whole life revolves around.

The school and their friends and things like that. It's all been taken away. So I've been seeing a lot of that. Like why are they doing, you know, why are they withdrawing? It's like, well, there is no prom, there's no graduation, there's no dances. You're telling them they can't go hang out with their friends.

And this is exactly what they're supposed to be doing right now in their lives is learning how to socialize and interact and learning how to date and navigate relationships. And you're telling them that they can't it's like, no, it's no wonder that our young people are having so much trouble.

I can't even imagine all of the challenges a kid has to go through anyway, with hormones and school and cliques and being good at sports or whatever.

And now you bring a pandemic and just like smother it with all of it, with this, you know, shelter in place. Quarantining. You know, social distancing. I, I don't end the parents or the children having to be parents or kids in this environment. Yeah.

It's, it's really tough just for everybody. And if you it's like, you're either doing online school and that's difficult or you're going to school, but now it's risky.

I mean, it's just, there's no right answers and you just have to do what's best for your family.

Trista, Host: Absolutely. So any advice to help parents navigate this current climate that you've been seeing has really made a difference?

Kristina Campos: Yeah, I think they. It's important for parents to realize that their child is craving some sense of power.

And I'll explain that because it sounds kind of sounds funny when I say it out loud, but kids need to know that they matter. Kids need to know that their existence has some kind of place in the world. They need to have some kind of control over their own life, world, or environment. And this is true for every person in the world, but specifically to children, you know, especially teenagers as they're trying to navigate how to control their own world.

And it's really important to them. If they don't feel like they have control over their own world, they start to become hopeless. And now they're like, well, if I'm hoping nobody cares, it doesn't matter if nobody will miss me when I'm gone. Why do I, why am I even here? The hopelessness turns into depression.

The depression turns into self harm. So it's something we need to really watch out for. And I think that parents understand that their kids are craving some sense of power over their own world. Then you are much more likely to give them a little bit of power, and I'm not saying. You know, let them run a muck boundaries are important boundaries, create security in your child, which is another thing that they need.

But let's take, for example a teenager in the pandemic, maybe as we're talking about them You cannot, you have to place the boundary that you can not go hang out with your friends today. They they're asking, Hey, I want to go hang out and go to the mall. No, I can't let you do that. I'm trying to keep you safe and also explain to them why you're setting the boundary.

Don't just say no. That feels very powerless to a child when you just say no with no explanation. So no, I cannot allow you to do that. I'm trying to keep you safe. I don't feel comfortable with you going there. It's my job to keep you healthy. I can't let you do that. Okay. So now you set the boundary, but then from there start a conversation on what choices can you give your child?

Because choices equals a little bit of power. So then you go to, but what can we choose together? Can we make a socially distance? You know, I don't want to say play date cause a teenager doesn't really call it a play date, but outing, you know outing in the park where we, where you can be a little bit more safe and that'll make me feel more comfortable, you know?

Or can we. Can I allow you to have an extra hour and a half on your computer tonight so that you can zoom your friends and you can sit there and talk to them and see them in person. You start to give them other choices within that. I think it's easier to understand when you in like the toddler years, because like a toddler wants to tie their shoes.

And they just want to tie their shoes and I, I can do it, mom, I can do it, but you got to get out the door and you need to get them to whatever, maybe school on time. And at some point you gotta let them tie their shoes. But that, that day, this moment you have to put the boundary. No, I'm sorry. You've tried to tie your shoes and now it's, the time has run out.

We have to get into the car. You put the boundary down. If we don't tell them why, if we don't get into the car, you're going to be late for school. But. Let's see, you have to go to the car, but do you want me to carry you to the car? Do you want to act like a rabbit to the car? Do you want to be a monkey to get to the car?

When we get to the car, do you want to pick the music in the car? Giving them choice again so that it, once you take away some power, give some back, give them a choice, give something that they can hold onto so that they still feel likely the little bit in control, because we don't want any of our kids, no matter whether they're a toddler or whether they're a teenager going into that hopeless and helpless feeling.

Trista, Host: That's so key, right. Giving them just the smallest little opportunity to have choice and make a decision and have control over the environment. Really, really great stuff. I love that. So is there anything else that you'd like us to know that you think is important to share?

Kristina Campos: No, not really. Just come and come and find me. I would love to have you. And most of what I do is free. So just come and listen, find me on all your social media channels or my podcast.

Trista, Host: Awesome. Well, I know that what you're sharing has really great value for parents.

So I know people will go check you out and be able to have a much more empowered child. And, and feel empowered themselves as parents. So thank you for all that you're doing for families. Thank you. And I want to thank you too for sharing your time. The story. I know that that was some personal stuff, but I really do appreciate you kinda just, you know, laying it all out there and letting us know your journey because it helped me see how somebody who can be at the lowest of the lowest point.

Unexpectedly can really reinvent yourself and create something very powerful as a result. So thanks for sharing that. It I'm sure made a difference for people.

Kristina Campos: Oh, can I give your audience a freebie?

Trista, Host: I of course people love free stuff.

Kristina Campos: So like along those lines, how I rebuilt myself, I actually broke it down into like 12 simple, simple, easy things that I did a weekly.

I don't want to say daily, but weekly in order to help me regain my identity back and figure out who I was and I through that process. And you can find those 12 tips for for yourself@theimpactfulparent.com/lifebeyondchildren. Yeah.

Trista, Host: Mm. I love it. That's wonderful. I love that it came out of your own journey.

And we'll make sure to have that in the show notes so people can access it easily as well. That's great. Thank you for that. So I always like to turn the tables and give you an opportunity to ask me a question before we wrap up. Do you have a question for me?

Kristina Campos: I would like to know what is your fondest memory as a child?

Trista, Host: My fondest memory as a child. One of the places we lived when I was a kid, was this town called Camp Hill, Pennsylvania, this little town. There are two things that kind of pop out of my memory that I'll share. One was that I was able to have the starring role in one of the plays. It was calledThe Murder Room. And I was just this insane woman who was being driven even further insane by her cheating husband. And she shot him at the end of the play.

And then another experience that I had, again, it was in theater. I was cast as Anita in the West Side Story.

And I have to say that I attribute that experience to Terry Bechtold going to give him a shout out. He was an English teacher, but he was also the head of the drama department.

And I was just thinking about him the other day. I wonder where he is and I wonder if I could track him down. And I wonder if we would have anything to talk about this many years later, you know, cause he was probably my most impactful teacher as I was growing up.

Kristina Campos: I like it. And can you imagine how sad our high schoolers right now, who had like, plans for big plays and do that? They can't even go to school.

Trista, Host: Yeah. Yeah. I can't imagine. I really can't. It just really breaks my heart. All of those experiences that are part of the passage through school.

That are being skipped and they may never get back in the same way.

Kristina Campos: And that's what we need to think about.

And that's, so we need to think about, and we need to see if there are ways that we can give kids equivalent experiences so that they don't end up developmentally stunted and the things that they normally would have learned from.

Yeah.

Trista, Host: Well, I want to thank you so much, Kristina,

Kristina Campos: Thank you for having me.

If you enjoyed this episode, please drop a review and give us a share. I'm Trista Polo wishing you well on the road to your next adventure.

I <3 FRESNO - Trista's PL8TSORY Podcast Plate 58 with Dr. Ashley Wellman of Fort Worth TX

trista@iwokeupawesome.com (Trista Polo) — Mon, 15 Feb 2021 08:45:01 GMT

I �� FRESNO - Plate 58 with Dr. Ashley Wellman, Fort Worth, TX

This week we meet Dr. Ashley Wellman of Fort Worth, TX. Dr. Wellman is a criminologist specializing in trauma/victimization. She has published numerous academic articles on unsolved murders, homicide survivors, and sexual assault. She frequently appears as a media expert/television commentator and serves as an advocate for families impacted by violence. As a widow and single mother, she has had to rebuild and redefine her life. Now, as author of the “My Friend Fresno” children's book series, she is creating a life of full of magic for her family while spreading a message of love, acceptance and friendship to all those who interact with her business. For more about Ashley, check out: www.ashleywellman.com To join the whacky, whimsical world of My Friend Fresno and to shop the Bone Boutique, visit: www.myfriendfresno.com.The body content of your post goes here. To edit this text, click on it and delete this default text and start typing your own or paste your own from a different source.

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https://www.facebook.com/MyFriendFresno

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Episode Transcript

I �� FRESNO

Trista, Host: [00:00:00]Welcome to this week's episode of Trista's PL8STORY (Plate Story) Podcast. I'm Trista Polo from iwokeupawesome.com and I am your host. Each week, we learn the story behind that vanity plate. You know, the one you saw driving down the road... what did it say? What did it mean? Why did they choose it?

Welcome. I'm so excited for this week. We have Ashley Wellman from Fort worth, Texas. Her license plate is I �� FRESNO. When we had our initial call, I was like, Oh my gosh, I can't wait for the actual interview. Welcome Ashley.

Ashley Peake Wellman: Hi, I'm so glad to be here.

Trista, Host: I'm excited to have you. Now let's jump right into your plate story because I want to hear why you chose it, but also how you were able to have I �� FRESNO as your plate.

Ashley Peake Wellman: Okay. So it's funny because when I meet people, they'll say I'll be walking to the car. They're like, Oh, you're from Fresno, California.

And I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no. It has nothing to do with that. So the picture I actually submitted to you when we first started talking was me [00:01:00] with a skeleton skull in my hand, along with my license plate, I �� FRESNO. So the way that came about is my now six year old Reagan, her best friend is named Fresno and that wouldn't be very special except for the fact that Fresno happens to be a three-foot posable skeleton who has, who has been in our family for the last four years.

When she was two I'm a criminologist. So she adopted Fresno from he's an office prop of mine. And she said, you know, you can't take him away. That's my best friend Fresno. And it's like a dog she had named him. And so as a family, we were kind of stuck with. There's posable skeleton who sends, has really added so much fun, and joy to our lives.

He goes on trips with us. He goes to the movies. He takes naps and baths and all kinds of things with my daughter. So it's been hilarious. It's been a cool adventure. But it would have never made a license plate except for the fact that after tragedy hit our family, I decided to write a children's book.

[00:02:00] Right. What else should a criminologist do? But transitioned to become a children's author. And the main character are so approachable. But the, the main character in the book is Fresno. And of course, Reagan, who's the girl who dances with skeletons. And so as I'm starting to plan this, right, one of the first things I did was how can I brand the Fresno brand. And one of my friends was like, you should get a vanity tag. And I had always kind of been one of those people that went, ah, I don't know, you know, do I really want to draw attention to my car with my family and those kinds of things. And I thought, yeah, with this, I really do. I didn't want necessarily one of those stickers on the back of my car, but I wanted a talking point.

And so I told my friend, I said, how many years should I get for this vanity tag one, three or five? And I remember him saying, well, it kind of depends on how much you believe in yourself and the brand. And I thought, well, five years it is. So I signed up for my license plate and in Texas, the unique thing is that there's a couple of symbols you can [00:03:00] pick to add to the background of the license plate.

And so what I actually registered was I space Fresno. But when I registered it, I actually put I star FRESNO and that translated to being printed as I �� FRESNO. So I just got very clever with the options on the license plate. And here I go. Now I drive around in my Honda pilot with, I �� FRESNO on the back and I get to explain the story to people who ask.

Trista, Host: That's awesome. There's so much I love about that. I love that you used the story of your daughter's childhood companion to deal with tragedy, like as a catharsis. And it seems like it really did the job. Like it really gave you something special to heal with.

Ashley Peake Wellman: It really did. So in 2018, the tragedy that hit our family, we had just moved to Texas brand new in Texas.

I was, I was about to start this dream, job, you know, progression. I'm a professor of criminology. And so I had actually taken a huge career step back [00:04:00] to move my family to Texas and kind of start over to rebuild my career as a professor. And the day before I started at my new university, my husband died in front of my daughter and I due to a pulmonary embolism. It was out of nowhere. He was young, healthy, beautiful human being. And I, in that moment, I'm here in this new state. I'm, you know, alone. We don't really have people to help us grieve and cope. And one of my very dear friends said, Ash, what if you use creative writing as a way to step away from the heavy research you do?

I actually work with homicide survivors and sexual assault survivors. And so. And that had always been a passion of mine because I didn't know the trauma and I couldn't really relate to the people I worked with, but in that moment after his death, it was one of those things that said maybe creative writing could let me step back from very trauma informed, very trauma, heavy research.

And really focused on healing, my daughter and I, and that was the impetus of that book. And now it's become [00:05:00] this really, like you said, this thing that we have ownership over this, this brand and this business that even my six year old, she's like this co-CEO with me, and it's just been so much fun. And now seeing how that story's impacting other families, it's, it's amazing.

It's so magical.

Trista, Host: Well, I am so sorry to hear about your husband. And just hearing you, you had told me before, and just hearing you tell me again, I came right back to the horror and the sadness and the grief that I'm feeling, just hearing what you guys went through. So I really am sorry to hear about that so much.

I love that you partnered up with your daughter to get through it together.

Ashley Peake Wellman: Yeah. Okay. Really important for us. I, as an advocate, I had so often told my families. The importance of grieving as an individual and grieving as a family unit. And so then when he passed away, I really felt like, Oh my God, I hope what I've been telling people is valuable information because I'm [00:06:00] going to have to follow this advice.

And so very much dedicated to saying, okay, I need to grieve. I need to grieve as a mother, but also as a wife and as a friend. And then I need to make sure Reagan grieves and we grieve together. So. I didn't shield her from a lot. And she was only four at the time. I made sure she saw me cry. I made sure she saw me fail at things to be angry, to be quick to laughter you know, like all of these different feelings we have in grief.

And I really do think that was one of the biggest blessings we gave each other was kind of that.Authentic transparent grief because now we're so much closer. And when one of us is really struggling, there's a lot of understanding. Even her being six and me being, you know, this ripe old 36, it's really cool.

It's been a, it's been a powerful journey, a hard journey, but a very powerful journey because I got to do it with her. That's the biggest gift that Buddy, my husband, left me was this baby that got to really be my best friend and kind of companion throughout everything.

Trista, Host: Yeah. And how's she doing with [00:07:00] everything two years later?

Ashley Peake Wellman: You know, we have the thing that I am so amazed by is she's able to articulate her journey and her experience and her love for her dad and the things that she misses and feels. She'll like just the other day. She's like, you know, I'd do anything. If daddy could snuggle me again, or I really miss daddy snuggles, or do you think dad would be proud of me?

So we have moments of tears and kind of just. You know, kind of regression back to the beginning of stages of grief, like everybody, but now I more so see her articulate emotion. And I also see her use her experience to help others. So she, you know, that's what the book is about for us.

But even in our personal life, we got a message on Facebook that said, you know, my niece just lost her sister. She's only six can, you know, can you offer me any advice? And I said, well, Would you want Reagan to talk to Tessa? You know, we, we bonded over that and Reagan was able to call another six year old and talk to her about, you know, like it's okay to be sad and your sister's always going to be a part of your life.

And if you ever miss her, you can just put your hands here and know [00:08:00] she's in your heart. And this is a six year old able to almost offer grief support to another six year old. And now that's this really precious friendship that focuses on so much more than grief, but started with a six year old, having the ability to communicate and articulate how she's processed grief and how she can be there for another friend.

So in the midst of the horror of his death, you see so many beautiful moments that I go, yeah. You know, it's so obvious that he had set us up for this life of magic. And I know he'd do anything if he could be here to witness it, but now he's just up in heaven, eating donuts and watching us, you know, like really fulfill this plan of, of joy.

And it's, it's just exciting.

Trista, Host: That's great. You know, I think people struggle with how do you interact with the child around grief, especially such a close loss, like a parent, even a grandparent, somebody they have so much connection with. And it's hard to know what the right thing for the child is. You don't want to traumatize them [00:09:00] for life, but you don't want to shield them.

So they can't go through the process themselves. So navigating that has got to be very challenging. And I really acknowledge you. Thank you for, yeah. For bringing all of your training right to your doorstep. And then even being able to pay that forward in having her make a difference for another child.

That's just amazing .

Ashley Peake Wellman: For me. I knew. And the hardest part was literally, as I kissed him goodbye in the hospital, I'm like, I have to go home and tell a four-year-old who watched her dad die in our home. Right. I had followed him to the emergency room with hopes of he'd be resuscitated, but I knew the moment I kissed him goodbye.

I said, I have to go tell her. And I have to tell her the truth, because I think we do want to shield our kids from things and say things like, Oh, you know, he went to sleep or he's flying in the sky now. Like, no, I had to start with the honest fact, your dad is not coming home. He passed away. He's dead. And that's very very heavy and almost feels impossible to do. I mean, I remember [00:10:00] going, like, I can't say this out loud and I remember the moment I did and her reaction and the wailing and the things that happened after that. But then, because I was honest and because I use real words and because I never didn't answer a question from her, honestly, like, was he scared? Did he hurt? You know, like, do you think they hurt him at the hospital? Like she would ask very adult questions about a very adult situation. And I think we would love to believe that kids don't understand and they can't process those things. I think they process it on such a pure level that it's very real to them.

And so honesty. Real words, you know, like I remember someone in there in a support group, they said, Oh, I told her that their dad, you know, was, was in the, in the sky with the planes flying and that, you know, he just liked being up there. And so when they got on an airplane, they all started crying because they said, I thought, we'd see him.

Cause he's supposed to be up in the, the habit, you know, up in the sky, just flying like an airplane. And she hadn't really given them a concrete reality of what had [00:11:00] happened to their dad. They didn't understand. He was actually dead. And so the, the importance of our words and the acknowledgement of our kids' ability to understand heavy things that was really eye-opening to me.

And one of the things I did, right. When everything happened is I rushed to Barnes and noble, and I got every kid's book on bereavement, not always what I really needed, but. I just said, like, I'll use any tool possible. And, and I was so grateful here in Texas. Anyone who's listening in Texas, there's actually a center called The Warm Place right here in Fort worth that is a nonprofit that allows kids three to 25 I believe to process those immediate deaths in their family, no matter what the cause of the death. And that literally was a lifesaver for us, that professional help. As good as I was as a, as a scholar, understanding grief, loss and trauma, I knew I needed professional help with her and me.

So, so important. So important, the honesty, the directness, and really this idea to let her learn her story of grief and trauma.

[00:12:00] Trista, Host: Yeah, absolutely. And getting professional support, whether it's books. And therapy groups. I think that was a huge benefit I'm sure because they know how to help navigate that. Now you've dealt with tragedy in your job in your profession, your whole life.

You're a criminologist, but you don't just deal with any kind of criminology you deal with actually.Like cold cases, right? Like unsolved mysteries

Ashley Peake Wellman: Yea, I do. And so, so it's funny because if I say, Oh, I'm a criminologist people immediately, even my parents will say, Oh yeah, like the CSI stuff. That's what she does.

It's not, it's not, I study why and how crime occurs. What, and you know how the impact of crime occurs in our communities, how society kind of works, you know, with law and those types of things. And so I'm much more of the sociologist studying the events that are, that surround. You know, crime. And so when I started [00:13:00] my passion, like any other woman in the United States was true crime murder.

I wanted to understand, you know, how and why murder occurs. And I really wanted to know the offender perspective, the case investigation. And so I started working in a cold case unit and I said, okay, I want to learn everything I can. I want to do my dissertation, which is basically a book about cold case processes.

And then a mom came in and she just said, I want to know what the expletive happened to my daughter. And I want to make sure you're working her case. And she was so upset. And I, at the time I was 25, they pulled me out and said, Ashley will tell you what happened to her. And I thought I will, Oh my God. So I went out and I talked to her and I really didn't talk. I listened. And I learned from her that she said, I drove from New Jersey. Down to Florida at the time. Right. For nothing, except to make sure they remembered her name, that they were working, her case, that they knew how much I loved her and how important she was to her family. And I thought, my God, this has been almost [00:14:00] 15 years.

And she she's almost as raw as if it had happened yesterday. And she's desperate to know that her daughter mattered. And that's when my whole perspective shifted. And I really started saying instead of the typical, Oh, I want to know what happens in the crime and I'm intrigued by the offender. I was moved deeply by the family members left behind, especially in these unsolved murders, because there is no resolution.

There is no one to blame. There's no one held accountable. And so I started studying the grief, loss and trauma that surrounds these unsolved murders. Then started working with police departments about how to work with homicide survivors in general. And as a college professor, I stepped up to be a sexual assault advocate, working alongside men and women who have been sexually assaulted both on and off campus to help understand really their journey and guide them through different options that they have after a sexual assault.

So. Beyond powerful. I don't offer them nearly as much as I've gained from the people that I work with for my [00:15:00] students, from people brave enough to share their stories. So that is what gave me power. When I suffered my own trauma, I said, I I've witnessed so many families in the midst of the most horrific moment of their life have grace, find joy find appreciation, right. Struggle, but survive. And so I knew I was going to be okay. Mainly because of the people that I worked with. So my job has been just fascinating.

Yeah, absolutely. Now, can you tell me the diff like how does it become a cold case? How long does it have to be? What makes it a cold case versus an open case?

Trista, Host: Is it just that they run out of leads?

It really so there is no universal definition for cold case homicide. Ashley Peake Wellman: A cold case doesn't necessarily mean it's not being worked, but it means that there clearly cannot be the same resources and the same detectives working that case because it's not, there's so many more cases coming in, right. So my definition and what I started with my research with [00:16:00] was from a man named Walton. And he said that a cold case homicide is typically at least a year old. There's no new leads in the case. Right. They've been exhausted as of now and B. And, or the original detective has retired or isn't working that case anymore. And it's been shifted over to new detectives. And so a lot of times families will hear, Oh, my case is cold and they assume it's, it's what it sounds like, that it's really put away and it's done, but it's this closed, you know, file. Not always.

Trista, Host: It makes me think of like they've given up.

Ashley Peake Wellman: Right, right. And not always, in fact, sometimes there's a breath of fresh air. If your case gets moved over to a cold case unit, it's new eyes, it's young detectives, it's someone dedicated to making sure they can follow up.

And as crazy as it sounds. At some point, time, which actually works against detectives, right. And against evidence and all these things. At some point, there's this shift that time actually benefits the case. And so it sounds crazy. But if you think about it, maybe at the time [00:17:00] of a murder, I'm married to somebody who I suspect killed somebody.

Right. And, but 10 years later, we've gone through a divorce. 10 years later, they passed away. 10 years later, I'm, you know, willing to share something or I need to get out of the marriage or something like that. So I might come forward. Witnesses may not feel threatened or they've moved, or they've been able to say, you know, this is weighed heavily on me.

I'm going to come forward. Evidence and scientific inquiry grows with time, right? There are so many new tests we have now that if evidence has been preserved times a benefit, think about DNA. I mean, we used to be able to test, is it A or B blood? Now we can literally just from a spec and not even blood just from a speck, we can develop a face, a prototype, right? Of like, this is this person's going to look like this is their heritage. This is all this, the genealogy stuff that you're seeing right now made famous from the golden state killer investigation. But that's been happening for years where people submit their DNA and say, I think I'd [00:18:00] like to contribute to a database to see if anyone in my family is you know, is a it's fascinating.

So in a cold case unit, sometimes you're given a gift of this case is getting a breath of fresh air, breathed back into it. One of the things I really advocate for with, with those detectives is just a sense of communication and consistency and being available to the family members as difficult is that is.

Because the answer is typically, I don't have an answer for you. I don't have progress in your case, but even that allows a family to say, but they haven't forgotten. They answered my call. They gave me five minutes. I know that they remember her name. They let me share her name. They let me tell them how important she is or he is right. And then, and then there's peace in that.

So, There's so much value in that relationship with the family and the detective. It's very, very cool to watch that play out when it's done right. And if it's not done right, to see how detrimental those relationships can be to survivors is also a [00:19:00] very, very powerful thing that we have to pay attention to.

Trista, Host: Yeah, absolutely. Now you work directly with families. What role do you take in that whole process?

Ashley Peake Wellman: So, honestly I've been more of an advocate figure or someone who is more of just a resource. The thing is, is I'm not the expert in cold case homicides. I tell people that all the time, I just happened to be Dr. Ashley Wellman, which gives me a really unique platform. And I happened to be pretty rambunctious and I'm willing to kind of be scrappy and fight for people to gain resources, to try to change policies, to try to educate, you know, law enforcement, the media, the families. So I'm much more of a resource advocate for them.

It's no official capacity. I serve on several boards for homicide survivors. I've been key in different events to raise resources, to raise attention to, to try to rewrite legislation, things like that. But honestly, I just happened to be a professor using our platform and guiding our research towards it.

And families have been willing to share with me their [00:20:00] experience and they're willing to tell me their story so that I'm able to keep that fight going.

Trista, Host: You're like the Brenae Brown of murder.

Ashley Peake Wellman: Oh my God. That's the biggest compliment ever. That should be my tag, but I'll ask her permission. I'll call. Okay.

Trista, Host: I think that's probably a good idea, but I mean, it's important what you're doing, right. Gathering the data. Cause you're an analyst as well. And so you're looking at the numbers and you're looking at the trends and that kind of thing.

So tell me a little bit about some of the cases let's have some good news, like some of the cases that actually got resolution. Cause I know that that's what the families are looking for. They're looking for justice for resolution.

Ashley Peake Wellman: Okay. So here's the interesting, let me talk about this first it's it's I just wrote a paper I think last year about the hope that families have and the expectations that cold case families have even 10, 20, 40 years later after the death of their loved one, there is an ultimate joy and optimism and hope that I will [00:21:00] one day know who killed my loved one.

And there's also a lot of pressure that families put on themselves and on the system to say, once that happens, once I get justice, right. And justice to me, once you understand that justice doesn't always are very rarely happens, but once I get a resolution in this case, I'm then going to have peace and that's the moment I can start to heal.

And one of the things I've really encouraged my families is you can't wait for that ultimate resolution. You have to heal in the moment and with the circumstance that you have, because you're robbed of 10 20, 40 years, when you continue to believe that one piece of evidence is going to change your grief structure.

And so what I talk about in this paper is that these ideas that we don't think about is that when the case gets solved, right, there's this expectation that now I can grieve and be whole and heal. But solutions can bring devastating results as well. A trial is no joke for a [00:22:00] family. I've had families who have had their cases solved, say I'm worse off now for what I experienced in the courtroom, the way the prosecutor talked you know showed pictures to the jury to inflame the jury the way the defense described my loved one as this horrible person this prostitute this worthless woman, right?

Those things can be devastating to a family. And the outcome is often not what's expected. So like in my head, if I think about, okay, God forbid I lost my child and I'm hoping that a case is going to come about offender's going to be caught. They're going to be prosecuted. In my head, I want the ultimate punishment, which is either life in prison, without parole, depending on who you talk about, that could be worse than some people said or the death penalty.

That's what I want. Well, very rarely 20 years after the fact, is that going to be what you get. The offender could be dead. The offender could be someone, you know, so imagine finding out it's your cousin or your uncle or something like that, who killed your loved one. Now I have to [00:23:00] process again, like I've lost two people.

Now what kind of punishment do I want? Right. And the other thing is that rarely is anyone going to get the death penalty. If that's the expectation very, very rarely less than 1% are even considered for it. And then beyond that, you know, very, very rarely, and it's only going to be, if it's an African-American killing, a white person is really what that's the most common death penalty application.

So the expert of that court process can often outweigh the actual benefit that comes from the court process. Now that doesn't mean that these families aren't hopeful. I don't want a resolution and aren't joyful when there's a resolution. One family I worked with down in Florida, the young girl had gone jogging after you know, in this college town.

And it was, I think 25 years later that they, they found a journal of an inmate who had recorded the multiple murders he had done. And one of the descriptions was of this young girl, Tiffany. And so they linked that case. So and then from that, they actually found DNA that matched another case that they were [00:24:00] working, that they had often thought was linked.

So both of those families of cases, I had worked, found that resolution . Another family. Michelle Mechy, who's one of the most powerful mothers and women and advocates. She runs Corey's Network in Kansas city, which is an organization that fights for unsolved murders and families of homicide. Her son was killed.

She actually held him as he died and she told the police immediately, I know who did this. It's this young man. And they didn't believe her. And so they actually started to blame her other sons and her family. And they started making these really awful claims about sexuality and all of these things too, to shame the family.

Sure enough. She hired a private investigator and seven years later, they arrested and convicted this, this kid of murdering her son. And it was the man, she said seven years earlier. So, so there's a lot of just. Like the fight and the determination, you know, we always hear about like the mother's love or, you know, someone advocating for someone else.

It is fearless fighting, and now [00:25:00] Shelly can sit back and say, okay, my job is, is done in that realm. And now she's starting to start to focus on our own health. So there is joy and there is a lot of work that happens after those resolutions occur. So yeah, it's, it's. It's complicated.

It's there's hope. There's disappointment. There's a lot of work that happens. Even if a resolution is reached .

Trista, Host: Wow, it's so much, there are so many more layers than I ever would have thought. And I never occurred to me that the resolution might be worse than the not knowing.

Ashley Peake Wellman: Can you imagine your other son, like, let's say you have two kids one's murdered and then, you know, for years you're fighting, you're fighting, you're fighting.

And then all of a sudden you realize it's your other son. It's your ex-husband it's your uncle you like, and that happens. You're more, you're most likely to be killed by someone, you know, or a, at least a friend. Right. And so the very first mother I ever talked to, she said my biggest fear is that one of the men, young men who held my hand where my son died, also killed him.

[00:26:00] Like, that's my very real fear. And I thought in my head, I went and that is very, very possible. And she knew it. She knew that it was more likely someone who was helping her grieve than someone who was a stranger on the outside. And so, yeah, we don't think about those things. We don't think about the forced interaction with practitioners.

So these families, you know, grief in general, like my grief was horrific, but it was between my daughter and I, and my family. These families have to deal with the police constantly sometimes saying that they might've killed the person. Right? So there's that added layer or that someone in their family killed them.

Right. There's that there's forced media interaction. The media is not kind to victims. They want to paint that you're safe and the victims there's a reason they got killed. So it's because she was a dancer it's because she smoked weed. It's because of this and that. So they paint this really ugly picture, but families feel forced to continue that dialogue with the media because at least my family member is in the media.

So you can slam her all you want, but people see her name and it I'll keep, [00:27:00] I'll keep talking to you so that you cover her. Bereavement groups can be devastating to families because, sometimes I don't need to hear 12 other people's heartbreaking story. So there's a lot of things we don't think about that forced interaction that and then grief in general society is terrible of, you know, helping grieving individuals, whether it's murder or a natural death.

We say things like, Oh, he's in a better place. This was God's plan. You know? You should be over it by now. You're not grieving enough. You're grieving too much. So. Poor things. I mean, grief in general is a mess, but then you add violent crime to it and it's it's even worse. Yeah,

absolutely. I have to get a shout out to a previous episode.

The license plate was GPS hope and they help families whose children have died before them. So it's not necessarily violent reasons, but she was saying that five years is a typical average amount of time to have the grief feel like it happened yesterday. And [00:28:00] that it's that raw. Especially when it's somebody that was your child, even as an adult child, still that it's just. You know, horrific to get over and then add the violence to

it, right? The unexplained other layer, right? Unnecessary. The thing is, is, is we have the Kubler-Ross model. And even as a griever, we want directions of how should I grieve?

And there's this, this, this feeling of failure when I'm not following these nice little stepping stones, that aren't real. And there's an expectation of people who haven't experienced significant trauma. To say she should have been over it. Like I remember going back to work four months later and being in my office crying because something had triggered me and a colleague that I thought was a dear friend came in and said, like, if you're still crying, like in a couple months or a year from now, you need to get some serious help.

And I looked at her and I thought, if you only knew. The help I've been getting and the fight I've been fighting every morning to show up here, right. Then you'd give me a lot of grace or you, you, you could extend some grace. But, but [00:29:00] even now, like, I mean, there's moments. Just the other day, my daughter was flipping through a photo album in my parents' house.

We had gone home and it was all of her dad holding her when she was a baby and she kind of got choked up and she said, I, I wish I had known him more and I wish he was here. And just that moment, it set off everything. Right. It's Christmas time. I wish he was here, you know, all of these things and I'm thinking, why does she know that at age six, she should know that kind of pain.

She watched him pass away. So it's like even two years later, even when I'm happy, even when I make it really brilliant strides, I have moments where it feels like I'm still holding him in the hallway, you know? And, and I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. And so I've learned. Grace. I've learned how to step up for friends that I wasn't necessarily there for in the right way because I've experienced it.

And so one of the biggest things I can offer your listeners is just being full of grace, whether you're the griever or you're the person who's in someone's life, who's experienced significant loss. There is no beautiful [00:30:00] way to heal. And the journey is so unique for every single person. Let them struggle a little bit, allow them, you know, some, some permission to not necessarily be themselves and realize that the person that they're going to become eventually it's going to be a new version because you're not ever going to be the old person after that, but they'll be okay.

And they'll be back to being your great friend and laughter and things like that. But the messy parts are allowed. And they don't diminish the character of that person. It's just a struggle. And some days I remember things where I'm like, God, that really wasn't me. You know? And I remember w same girl had said, like, you're just not the person I fell in love with.

And I thought, well, I'm trying, you know, really trying. So it's, it's interesting because we have an expectation and it just doesn't work like that, you know, 20 years later, I'm sure at Reagan's wedding, part of it will be her daddy's not there to see her. I'll rejoice in the fact that probably another amazing human is there to walk her down the aisle and that, you know, [00:31:00] she's had many people love her, but there's still going to be moments the rest of my life that I say, yeah, I miss him.

He was a beautiful part of our life and that's okay.

Trista, Host: And I think that that's the thing is nobody can really know what you're going through, whether it's grief from a natural or from a violent crime. There's so many layers that we don't show even our close knit circle. And so the, having the grace for others and just making an assumption that maybe you don't know what's going on for them, maybe the benefit of the doubt, you know, give somebody the benefit of the doubt.

Ashley Peake Wellman: And, you know, people will call me all the time. They're like, Ashley, I know this other widow, her daughter's three. You're like, I need you to talk to her cause you know what she's going through.

And I said, careful, I will totally talk to her. I will. I'd love to talk to her. But I will not understand what she's going through for many reasons. Right. Because of what was her relationship like with her husband? What's her bond like with her [00:32:00] daughter? What's her personality. What's her mental health disposition. What's her financial resources. Right?

So there's many times where I say I can give you an experience and I can share in the shared experience of just humanity. And I can give you advice of what worked for our family, but I also am going to warn you very heavily that this may not work for you. And, and you may walk a very different journey, right?

I, one of my dearest friends also lost her husband. It was my husband's best friend died almost a year before him due to a heart attack. So it was crazy because we're both these very young families We had watched, you know my friend lose her husband to a heart attack. And I think that's what prompted my husband to take care of so many things for us.

Right. I study murder, but then he watched his best friend pass away and didn't think about at age 40 that I might die and didn't have things in place. So that allowed us to learn what we needed for our family. And so I tell her all the time, like, thank you for being honest about your struggles, because it helped our family. When we didn't know we [00:33:00] even needed the help.

And so even, even someone who's suffered the almost exact same death, right. I don't necessarily have the same journey she has. And so even understanding that like, I am now so graceful with people who have lost their spouse. And I don't say she should be further. She should be okay. It's Nope. Her journey is so different than mine. Yeah,

Trista, Host: absolutely. And you were doing such good work, advocating and supporting. I know that you're a keynote speaker and a lot of conferences around these topics. You were just given the 40, under 40 in 2020. Congratulations. for the Fort Worth Business journal.

That's awesome. And you know, just thank you for all the work you're doing. This is very dark material like you're dealing with people's most traumatic events and you're standing for the right resolution and their hope not being [00:34:00] extinguished and the best possible outcome. And I just really thank you for that.

I know I don't have the stomach for it, so I'm glad you do because these people need people in their corner helping them with more than just the

Ashley Peake Wellman: investigation. Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah. It's crazy to that then. The book, you know, my friend Fresno is now also kind of that grief, help story without being about grief.

So what I wrote when I wrote that story, right, it was, it was a break for me. And now I have families that I'm working with in other capacities with special needs children, with children who have been bullied, children who have been sexually abused. And they say my child can find themselves in Fresno and realize that even though they're now different, even though they've struggled, even though they haven't been treated kindly, they can still have a beautiful life and they can still find like self-acceptance and value. And we, as a family can learn from Reagan's character, which is this support person who just [00:35:00] fearlessly loves Fresno. Right. And can realize that these things that are scary, like death, like grief, like abuse, all of the things that I work with on a professional level in the book, you know, there's a line that says, " the things that scare us most are often just misunderstood." And so what a powerful message for all of us about things like sexuality, racial differences, religious differences, all those things that scare us and separate us. It's really this barrier that we put on it because we misunderstand, or we don't take time to get to know somebody, but if we did right, if you take time to get to know grief, Get to know trauma, get to know, you know, the, the effects of bullying and those types of things.

Is it scary or is it just misunderstood? And if we learn it, could we then start to dance with the things that have happened to us or the things that scare us? Could we just dance with them instead and have a much richer life? So, yeah. It's wild because in the back of my head, I think subconsciously the survivors and their journey and the things that I learned from that [00:36:00] actually translate into this children's book that never was meant to be this support.

You know, it was supposed to be this this just precious story for Reagan. And now I'm going, wait a minute. You see that right. And someone told me the other day, they're like, are you friends now in the book? And I thought, what are you talking about? I'm not, no, yeah, that's my kid's toy. And they said, no, but look at no, he's a skeleton stripped of everything.

Right. I was stripped up. I had multiple miscarriages kind of lost my motherhood identity. I lost my husband. My wife identity was gone. I suffered a career devastation. My career was gone. And so they said you were stripped to everything. And then you started to rebuild and learn that you can be this loved, valuable, right.

Successful person as a, as something new and, and, you know, it's, it's from people telling you that you're loved and that you're valuable and those types of things. And so, yeah, it's just what I never thought that was going to translate into this precious kids book about a skeleton and his best friend Reagan.

So. [00:37:00] It came full circle.

Trista, Host: Yeah, I think we don't realize we put something out there, especially something creatively driven. Driven from something from catharsis, we don't realize what kind of ripple effects it will have. And I have a feeling that your book will continue to make a difference. What I got out of it is kind of what you're saying.

Like. You don't have to be afraid of people that are different from you because they have their own special-ness and the monster under the bed thing for kids. I mean, that was just so great. Really.

Ashley Peake Wellman: And now she's sitting at the kitchen table, right. Having tea with them and playing.

Trista, Host: You know, instruments like yeah, exactly.

We don't have to be afraid of something just because it's unknown, it's mysterious. We can, you know, kind of just give it the benefit of the doubt and see what's special because we all bring. Something special to the table. Absolutely. I really thank you so much for all [00:38:00] the work that you're doing and everything that you're bringing to the world with your special passions and knowledge base, you know, the criminology piece it's important.

It's a needed piece. We need more than just the. Detectives and investigators and science criminology people to help the community. And I can really get that. That's what you're doing. So keep doing it. Thank you. So I'm looking forward to Fresno's next episode. With Other kinds of adventures, Fresno and Reagan are going to get into .

Ashley Peake Wellman: Right now in the bone boutique online, you can snag the book, you can find the plush doll and the puzzles there's kids puzzles.

And one of the cool things about the puzzles is. Yeah. If you're trying to talk about something really difficult with a child, letting their hands, be kind of, you know busy and letting their minds kind of be distracted. You can have amazing conversations with children. So that was one of the things that prompted them yeah was to allow like read the book, start working on the puzzles and say, have [00:39:00] you ever felt like Fresno? Has there ever been a time people weren't very nice to you. Have you ever felt out of place? But if I'm consumed with a project. I'm more likely to kind of share vulnerable things with you because I'm not having to look at you and tell you these things.

So we have that. And then in the works we have Fresno's first Christmas, we have some other little adventures of Fresno and a few new characters that are going to kick off some other series in the next year or two. So love it. Yup. Follow us on social media and on the website and join our wacky skeleton crew.

It'd be great. Yeah,

Trista, Host: indeed. And we'll have links to all of that in the show notes, including the plush doll, which I see over your shoulder. And I love that puzzle idea. I remember I was in therapy and my therapist wouldn't let me bring a cup of coffee in because it was a way to distract, but what you're saying makes better sense.

Like maybe if I was able to not have to, you know, stare my crap in the face, more [00:40:00] willing to talk about it.

Ashley Peake Wellman: That's what art therapy is about that's what music therapy is about. That's what play therapy is about. So especially with kids, instead of saying, Hey, Reagan, do you want to go to a therapy appointment?

It's much easier to say, Reagan, do you want to go create some art today? Or do you want, do you want to build a puzzle? And then like, I don't really let her know I need to ask her a difficult questions. They just come up in conversation. Or I say like, there was this one time that I felt like this. Have you ever felt like that?

And when she's busy, She's not thinking like, I don't know that I want to be vulnerable with her. Right. She'll just answer me. And so maybe she's not ready to talk, so it doesn't always work. That's not a, that's not a promise, but it does allow for kind of a different setting and a less intense and direct approach.

Trista, Host: Yeah, absolutely. You know, we talked about some pretty deep stuff today and some pretty dark stuff today, but what absolutely is sticking with me, from our first conversation and now is the light inside of you. And I just really thank you and [00:41:00] appreciate you for coming on and just sharing who you are, what you're about, what you're committed to, what you've been through.

And how it can help other people. Thanks so much for being with us today.

Yes thanks for letting me share my story and it gets better. Just keep going everybody, no matter what you're going through one day at a time, as long as you put one foot in front of the other, you've done a great job. So give yourself grace and give grace to those around you.

Beautiful.

Thank you for joining us for this week's episode of Trista's PL8STORY podcast. Please subscribe to Trista's PL8STORY podcast to get the story behind all those vanity plates, driving with you on the road. And if you would like to nominate the owner of a license plate, including you... Or visit any of our partners and sponsors come and see us www.pl8story.com. That's P L number eight story.com and give us the details.

If you enjoyed this episode, please drop a review and give us a share. I'm Trista Polo wishing you well on the [00:42:00] road to your next adventure.

IM SAXY - Plate4 57 of Trista's PL8STORY Podcast with Adulting with Money's Dan Hinz

trista@iwokeupawesome.com (Trista Polo) — Mon, 08 Feb 2021 12:58:32 GMT

IM SAXY - Plate 57 of Trista's PL8STORY Podcast with Adulting With Money's Dan Hinz

This week we meet Dan Hinz, MBA. Dan is the gentle soul and financial coach behind Adulting With Money. For seven years, Dan has taught couples how to unite–not fight–over money whether they want to crush debt faster, buy a house sooner, or just want to get on the same page. He’s a sax player, band geek and awesome guy with some great nuggets and stories to share. Let’s go meet Dan. www. adultingwithmoney.com

Connect with Dan:

Facebook: Adulting with Money (https://www.facebook.com/adultingwithmoney)

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YouTube (if possible): https://www.youtube.com/adultingwithmoney

Connect with PL8STORY:

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Meet your host - https://www.iwokeupawesome.com

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Episode Transcript

IM SAXY

Trista, Host: [00:00:00]Welcome to this week's episode of Trista's PL8STORY (Plate Story) Podcast. I'm Trista Polo from iwokeupawesome.com and I am your host. Each week, we learn the story behind that vanity plate. You know, the one you saw driving down the road... what did it say? What did it mean? Why did they choose it? Welcome. I'm so excited to have today's PL8STORY guest.

It's Dan Heinz from Panama City Beach, Florida. His license plate is IM SAXY. Welcome,

Dan. Thank you, Trista. Thanks for having me.

I'm excited to have you, you know, I can't say your license plate without putting my own little, you know, joie de vivre on it. It's just so that's fun.

Dan Hinz: Oh yeah. And that's, that's the whole point. I mean, it's I, I originally wanted to just say SAXY but then my girlfriend at the time, but now wife I said put an, IM in front of that. I'm like, that sounds great. And so she always kind of rubs that in my face like that. That was me. That, that I helped you with that plate.

Trista, Host: That's right. [00:01:00] That's got her a signature on there as well. Now IM SAXY. Tell us the story behind your plate.

Dan Hinz: Yes, I guess it's twofold is that, I played saxophone in high school.

Well, I mean, I started playing the Alto saxophone in the fifth grade. That was my instrument that I picked up and never really put it down, played it all through high school and then in college as well in Collegiate marching band and other concert bands as well. So that's where the SAXY comes from, but it's also, you know, I was in marching band.

And if anyone out there has been in marching band or you've hung around band nerds. Yeah, exactly enough. You realize like this, we like making jokes. We love having fun and just those puns and everything else fit really well. And I'm from, originally from the state of Iowa, went to Iowa state university, and there's a lot of vanity plates for that university, as well as the university of Iowa and other universities in Iowa.

So I'm like when I got to college, I'm like, I want a new plate. And when you pick a new plate, you might as well make it vanity. And I was in marching band. So that's where everything just kind of came together [00:02:00] all at once.

Trista, Host: I love it. Now, your girlfriend now wife, she was in marching band too. Yes.

Dan Hinz: Yes, she was.

Yep. She played the Piccolo and the flute and that's, that's where we met was marching band. So we're we're marching band marriage. I love it.

Trista, Host: You know, I also played the flute in marching band.

Yeah, it'sDan Hinz: you know, that's the fun thing about flutes and other woodwinds is that we kind of have this thing against all of the trumpets and all of the brass instruments, because there's so much louder.

So we all kind of stick together, but we all stick together as one woodwinds. Yes.

I just have this memory. It is so clear in my head. Of having to turn my body and feet while keeping my head forward so that I could make the right formation for the football game.

Like just coming

Trista, Host: back to me. Right.

Dan Hinz: Especially with a Piccolo or a flute is you got your elbow out there as well. So it's just, yeah, you've started. [00:03:00] You got to get flexible. You got to stretch before a marching band. Despite what many other people probably think.

That's right. It wasn't field hockey, but it had its own merits for physical fitness.

Trista, Host: Absolutely. So I never did marching band in college, definitely high school for all four years. Any good stories about marching band and college? Is it any different than high school?

Dan Hinz: Yes, it is. Mainly because we're all adults now and we're all on our own. And you know, you remember those American pie movies where like, there's this one time at band camp.

It was never that bad, but it's, you know, you, you join a family, the moment you joined marching band. And it was one of the best decisions of my life. There was, I remember freshman year you, you start band camp before the actual like semester begins. So you get to move in early. So that's pretty cool. But it was the band director said, you know, those of you that just joined or are here for the first time, you don't know this, but you just joined a family of [00:04:00] 350 people.

These are the people you're going to go to class with. That you're going to laugh with. That you're going to cry with that. You're going to take tests with. That you're going to marry and eventually have band babies. And it's like, everyone kind of chuckles at that, but it's just, you know, you get through that first year and you're like, yeah, He's right.

. And so that's when it's voluntary and everybody wants to be there and you get to go to college football games. I, that's why I try to get anyone who's thinking about college marching band. I'm like, just do it once. Do it your freshman year, where the classes don't matter nearly as much as like, once you get to be senior, you can, you have time to retake things if you really mess things up.

But. It's a huge difference and I'm, I'm so grateful and thankful that I did it.

I found over the, my years of college, that my grades were always better in the fall semester than they were in the spring because of marching band, because it just kept me more focused.

It kept me more disciplined. Cause it's like I got to keep my grades up [00:05:00] and I got to get things done so that because it's not going to happen on Saturday. As soon as that game is over and I get changed out of that uniform and take a shower. There's nothing getting done the rest of the day. Like we're, we're done.

Trista, Host: Do you still play, do you pull out the sax and, you know, do any duets with your wife?

Dan Hinz: I actually don't, you know, after I stopped having a reason to play I've I've let the instrument go. So yeah, in, in my ambusher the, the muscles in my mouth, it, you know, if I started playing, I would be, my, those muscles would be dead in an hour, like it's, but you know, all the fingerings and how to read music would come back.

But no haven't, haven't had a reason to to get back into it in the last, probably decade now. Wow.

Trista, Host: Do you ever miss it?

Dan Hinz: A little bit, but I guess, you know, if I missed the, the actual playing of the music, certainly I'd get it out and play. Honestly what I miss the most is the comradery, the being part of a group being part of a team, being part of a [00:06:00] band and the adventures that you have in the, in the music that you play.

Cause there's just nothing better. You know, if you love listening to music, it's 10 times better being in the actual band, creating the music and hitting those notes and hitting those chords and creating those emotions. It's even more fun. So I, I miss the, the being part of the team. That's what I really miss the most.

Yeah.

I can understand that. That makes a lot of sense. So since you're not a professional sax player or marching band member, what is it that you do for a living. Sure.

So I am the vice president of our family's business, but I also have a business as a financial coach. So I have a YouTube channel where I help couples unite, not fight over money, whether they want to crush debt faster buy a house sooner, or get on the same page.

And that's been, that's been growing pretty steadily for, for about a year now. And I'm excited to keep it going. That's awesome.

How did you learn to do that? Because I find most people in that game, it was because [00:07:00] they had a hard time. They figured out how to get out of debt and now they want to pay it forward.

Trista, Host: Is that your story too?

Dan Hinz: A little bit. I, the debt part, not so much. I actually straight out of college. I became a financial advisor for, for a large national firm and I got about two years into it and it wasn't quite for me. It was fun helping families and individuals make decisions on like retirement accounts and insurance and stuff like that.

But I really kind of wanted to do my own thing. And if I wanted to do my own thing, I couldn't be under a major firm. Because you know, the words I was saying, weren't my own, they had to be approved by the marketing department. And so there's nothing against that. That firm itself, it was just like, well, I want to do my own thing, have books and stuff like that.

And so, yeah. The, the second part to that is it can be expensive and very time consuming to keep those licenses to be all the regulations that come with it. So I moved to like, well, I can still help people with financial decisions. What can I do [00:08:00] that doesn't require such expensive licenses.

And it turns out, you know, helping people with budgeting and debt and things of that nature is, is good to go. I can do that all day, every day. And and it's a lot of, it's very rewarding as well, because I think at some point when you are helping the rich get richer, it's like, okay, well at some families, you know, once they get to a certain point, they earned it.

Definitely. But when you get to see someone pay off their first credit card, or they just learn how to budget and how it's going to improve their lives, it, it filled a much deeper spot in my soul to say, like, this is fun. This is what I want to do. This is how I want to give back.

Yeah, absolutely. And I mean, you're making a difference for families and that's huge.

Trista, Host: I'm sure that really helps you sleep very well at night. Can you give us some examples of some tips that you would give for a couple? Just starting out, because I find when you're just starting out, you don't really know how the other person [00:09:00] is about money. You haven't made any big financial decisions yet.

And I don't think we tend to talk about it much until it's kind of like let's combine or not combine our checking accounts. So what thoughts do you have on couples just starting out?

Dan Hinz: Yeah, I mean, In the end, there are three major habits that you want to master in order to master money together. The first habit is setting goals.

And so that's, you know, all the clients that I take on and all the couples I talk with, that's what we do first is to say, I want to know what it is that you want. Is it, do you want to get out of debt? Do you want an emergency fund? Do you know what an emergency fund is? Have you thought about retirement?

Do you want to get into investing and really just start to get an idea because when it comes to money fortunately, there's, there's a price on everything. There are numbers that you can calculate and that, that you can get to, and there's no right way to handle money. There's no right way to reach your goals.

But getting down into the weeds to say, okay, if we want an emergency fund, [00:10:00] how much do we want in that fund? And when do we want that done? And then you can get like a monthly number. And when we have those monthly numbers, then we could get onto the other habits to say, Oh, okay. So habit number two is tracking.

Like, do you have a spreadsheet? Is there an app where you can just see everything coming and going? That's it ...just coming and going? You don't have to be an amateur accountant. Just watch it come and go and have it somewhat organized because then the third habit is then making decisions is, you know, what you want, you know, what's going on.

And the third part is what do we want to do next? How do we want to plan our next month and spend our money or save our money to, to reach those goals. But yeah, the first one is what is it that you want? Let's just start talking about it. There's no right answer. But to know what that is helps to define what you want to do first or what you should do first.

That's great. Trista, Host: Have you, I know you did the YouTube channel. Do you also coach and work with people individually or as couples?

Dan Hinz: I focused [00:11:00] mostly on couples. I mean I can coach individuals as well. But it's you know, when it comes to couples, it's, it's that communication part. I focus a lot on communication.

That's the number one key. And then the second part gets to, okay, well, here's the app you should use. Here's the buttons you should click and, and that type of stuff, which is important, but I really want couples. To walk away from my coaching, being able to talk about money, because if they work with me for a day or a month or three months, eventually they're going to reach their goals or their goals are going to change.

And I want them to have the tools, especially the communication tools. Right. To make a decisions and to talk and to, to, to decide because you know, tools will change. Goals will change. The world will change and they may not be my clients, or they may not be watching my YouTube channel when that happens.

Yeah, that's

Trista, Host: really important. I'm a coach and trainer as well, more for entrepreneurship and leadership and team [00:12:00] than money. But communication right down the center is also a huge piece of what I coach people on. And as well, I'd love to hear like the most common challenges that you hear when people approach you and ask you to coach them.

You know, especially with couples, it comes down to they don't seem to be on the same page. Dan Hinz: Like I was talking to a couple just last week and it was kind of a sales session. They, they haven't signed up for coaching yet, but you know, the wife wanted more certainty or that's what I could hear. She's she was asking me about.

In emergency fund, she was talking about getting out of debt, but then the husband was just like, I want to get into investing. Should I buy Amazon stock? And which is fine. All of those goals are fine. There's nothing wrong with any of them. But I think couples, the first thing to do is that when you start to listen to each other, as far as your [00:13:00] goals is, start to think about what's underneath that.

Well, why. Why does the wife want an emergency fund and doesn't care about Amazon stock. And some of us are more risk averse and more risk taking than others. And so it's the, the goals are common. It's investing retirement, emergency fund, getting out of debt you know, buying a house. What should we do about our car?

Like, those are the top goals, but when it comes to a couple specifically where they're not really communicating well, it's to dig into like, okay, why. Is that her primary goal. And why is that his primary goal? And then we can start to talk about and understand what the underlying needs are to then say, okay, here's your plan going forward with money?

You know, it's you know, maybe we should do the emergency fund first because you could get that done faster. And it feels great to sleep better at night, knowing that cash is in the bank and then we'll get to the investing, or it could be other that do both at the same [00:14:00] time, but it's to understand each other's point of views and then move forward.

Trista, Host: Yeah,

that's super important. Now you used to live in Iowa and now you're in Florida. What brought you to that move? That's a pretty big move.

Dan Hinz: It is well that's because my amazing, awesome, most wonderful wife that hopefully is going to listen to this someday is a dolphin and sea lion trainer.

All right. Well, now we're going to talk about that a little bit. I've never known one one.

They're wonderful. Although they come home smelling a little funny at the end of the day, but beyond that yeah, it's been, it was a dream of hers for as long as she can really remember. I think her parents hoped that she would grow out of it, but she never did.

She got a biology degree at Iowa state. And you know, just like any industry, you get an internship or you, you just kinda apply until you get in. And fortunately she got a an internship straight out of college, as soon as she graduated here in Panama City Beach. And it [00:15:00] turned into a job right after that. As soon as the summer internship was over. And so, you know, once she got that job, I basically flew down and proposed and we've been here ever since.

Trista, Host: Oh, my gosh. That's amazing. So I assume it's at like a, an amusement park or a sea world kind of place. Where does she actually train? And entertain with dolphins and sea lions.

Yes. Yep. Dolphins and sea lions. They do also have seals. So you wouldn't be wrong either way, but, but yeah, it's like a small, like a small Sea World. It's called Gulf world, like the Gulf of Mexico. And the park has been here since like the 1960s it's been around for a long, long time. It was family owned for decades.

And so, yeah, so she's been there and a lot of people have asked like, well, why haven't you moved on to Atlanta Seaquarium or Sea World or somewhere else? And you know, the truth is, she's just like, I'm doing exactly what I want with people I enjoy being around. So it's just like, why, [00:16:00] why move somewhere and go right back to the bottom of the totem pole.

That's great. You know, you have to enjoy what you're doing. And I think it's about more than being upwardly mobile.

Dan Hinz: And that was something that I asked myself when I was a financial advisor, you know, I only got two years into it, but I looked at advisors that had been there 20 years and I'm like, there's no one that I want to become.

Like there was no like mentor role model. Like I want to be them in 20 years and you know, she's kind of felt the same way. She's just like, she's exactly at the level that she wants to be where she's a leader, but she still works with the animals every day. And if she had, if she moved up higher up the chain, she'd get farther away from the animals.

And she's just like, I. I don't want to do that. That's not me. I got into this to hang out with the animals.

Trista, Host: Yeah, that's awesome. Cause you're right. I'm thinking about it. And I, I do know that the higher up in management, you get the farther from the hands-on work you get in probably any profession.

[00:17:00] Dan Hinz: Oh yeah, absolutely.

But you know, going back to communication with couples, I tell everybody that, you know, it's okay if the work, the clicking of the buttons and the math is 90 10. All of our decisions are 50 50 is if there's a major decision to make, we sit down and make it.

And then I go click the buttons. And so that's where and it's another thing where certainly I don't want something to happen to me and her to be clueless. Cause that has happened to a lot of couples in the world where it's just like one side that takes care of everything, which is great for the other side of the couple, but then something happens they're in a coma or unfortunately, maybe there's a death and it's just like now what? And they're just clueless or their names weren't on the bank accounts. And so they don't have access. And so you, when I'm talking with couples and especially with my wife, as I'm making sure our names are on everything so that if she needs access, she's got access and that she understands what's going on.

Even if she doesn't have to like physically do all of the button [00:18:00] clicking.

Yeah, I think you're so right about that. And it goes beyond even a death if they split up. And one of you has no idea what's going on financially. I think that can be as big a problem. I mean, yeah, you can call them. But I don't think they're going to come over and help you budget the checkbook.

Yeah, exactly. Exactly. So, yeah, balancing a checkbook, just keeping an eye on the bank accounts knowing where they are and where all the username and passwords are. That's that's key as well.

Trista, Host: It certainly is. Now I wanted to go back to your license plate because I had wanted to ask you this before I'm sexy.

Seems like the sort of license plate that would get a little attention. So I have to ask, do people ever comment on your plate?

Dan Hinz: They do from time to time. It's not strangers. It's usually people that know me and, you know, I'm, I've parked at their house or we're meeting in a parking lot and they see me next to my car and they're like, Oh, that's your [00:19:00] car?

I've never had strangers like get out of their car and be like, cool license plate. Haven't haven't had any of that. But one thing that is really fun to do whenever I'm at a stop sign or a stoplight and someone pulls up behind me, I'm always checking my rear view mirror to see if they're smiling and I have caught some people like taking a picture of it.

And so that's just a little piece of joy every once in a while, like, okay. I made someone's day a little better. So I don't talk to them, but I still get a reaction and that feels great. That's awesome.

I'm the one taking your picture driving behind you. That's totally me

check this out. Look what I found today.

Yeah, exactly. Or. What the heck were they trying to say with this plate? Anybody have any

ideas? Yeah. Yeah. I was trying to make mine ridiculously obvious.

Trista, Host: You succeeded. Now I have to check in about the background. If people are watching the video version of this podcast, you've got a [00:20:00] lot of stuff going on behind you.

So I can't let it go by. Can you give us a little tour of your background?

Oh gosh. Dan Hinz: Okay. So this is a picture of my family. So my parents and my sisters, which might be hard to see this is a red stapler. So if you're a fan of office space, that's exactly where that came from.

Then I've got, you know, Simpsons DVDs. I've got all the whole family here. I can move my camera. So I've got the three kids, but then in these upper shelves, I've got Marge and Homer. So I, you know, the camera doesn't see all of those right away.

But then Kansas city chiefs we've been fans since I was a kid, especially being from Iowa. And these here are the, the red hat is a Tony Robbins hat, huge fan of Tony Robbins. I actually just at his Unleash, the Power Within conference virtual conference. Yeah, phenomenal. Oh my goodness. And I, and I've been to one other event of his live and, you know, for being virtual, it's about as close as you could get.

So I had a great time. [00:21:00] And then this is the same brand, the, the lucky Clover brand, but an Iowa state hat. And then, yeah, I've got a lightsaber that is a custom built from Disney world and we're actually going back next week. I'm not going to buy another one because they're $200 a pop. So one, one is enough for now.

And then I've just got a whole bookshelf full of books. And then this picture down here is actually here. Let me grab it just real fast.

Besides the lightsaber. It is my favorite Disney world because it's from the the haunted mansion. So as you move my face, it goes back and forth. So I, I love that thing. And then finally, here's an autographed ticket of Louis Black. One of my favorite stand-up comedians. So that's that's the quick tour.

That's great. And the, this right here UPW instead of walking on fire, you punch through the board. Yep. And so that's my board that I broke just this weekend. Oh, very cool.

[00:22:00] Very, very cool. I love that. I have to tell you that I saw Louis Black in New York city at this dive bar. Trista, Host: We have a friend who's a professional comedian, but back when he was first getting started, he needed a certain number of people to say they were there to see him just for him to get like six minutes on the mic. And I was working in New York city at the time. So and my husband loves standup and he loves an adventure.

So he would drive about two hours down to the city. I'd get off work, we'd go get a quick dinner and then go to wherever my friend Joe was performing, we would stay for the show. And then we, and then my husband would drive me home. But one night Jim Gaffigan and Louis Black, both performed and they were coming up.

They weren't. TV movie famous yet, but they were definitely very well-known comics and I have a picture and I have Lewis black Jim Gaffigan, and then my friend Joe's [00:23:00] autograph all on the same thing. Oh,

Dan Hinz: cool. Cool. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, wow.

Trista, Host: That's cool. It's a good memory. Yeah.

Dan Hinz: Yeah, it's a, you know, I've never been to New York city.

That's that's like my next once we can travel again, that's going to be very high on my list. Yeah to go travel and just be a tourist for a day or not a day, like a whole week.

You gonna say, yeah, make sure you have time and money to enjoy it when you're there. Wait until Broadway is open because you want to take in a show, Trista, Host: maybe go to TKTS and get discounted tickets for a show and then just see some of the amazing live theater and really yeah. Take the time and the money to enjoy it and do it right. Absolutely.

Dan Hinz: Yeah. Yeah. It's something I'm looking forward to. Well, and especially, you know, going to, you know, certainly, I don't know any prices, but like the comedy cellar or just other of those places, like just, if, even if it's like a Wednesday night, like I just want to go.

[00:24:00] Absolutely. Well, my husband reminded me that the reason that Jim andTrista, Host: Louis were there is because they were trying out a set for a big show, might even have been an HBO special. I can't remember, but they were trying out their stuff to see how it landed on a live audience. And so that's super cool, but I agree.

It's the weeknights where you'll see some of the worst comedians of your life. Like, you feel bad for these people. You really, you really like your heart goes out to them. You're excrutiatingly miserable the whole time because there's just no saving them. There's just no saving them, but you just, your heart goes out because you know, this is their dream or they wouldn't be there, you know?

Dan Hinz: Yeah, it'll make me feel better. Like, Oh, you know, recording YouTube videos in my little home office, doesn't feel so bad. It's not, not nearly as scary.

Trista, Host: I remember there was this [00:25:00] one. He had a keyboard and a guitar and he brought all this stuff up with him for a six minute set.

And it was just, I mean, it wasn't good comedy. It wasn't good music. It just wasn't good.

He was failing on every side of the aisle.

, but I'll never forget it. You know, it was like such a memorable experience. So take in some good comedy, tak ien some bad comedy for the up-and-comers. You'll see some amazing comedians, like before they.

And then you'll see them later somewhere and say, Oh my gosh, I saw that guy when he was just coming

Dan Hinz: out. Really, really good. That's the story that I want. Yeah,

Trista, Host: exactly. Exactly. Well, that's awesome. So do you have any kind of Sage advice? You know, it's been a really hard pandemic. We're not out of the woods yet.

People have been struggling, laid off furloughed, hoping for that unemployment bonus, the [00:26:00] stimulus check, any advice to help people just kind of keep their sanity about their finances during this

time. Yeah, I think the best thing is to keep your priorities in order, you know, it's Dan Hinz: and, and to keep an eye on things, I know it hurts to see a bank account that is really low or to open up a credit card statement and see everything that you've bought.

But it's, it's kinda like if you stop weighing yourself and keeping track of your weight, it's just kinda gonna go by the wayside. So there needs to be something that you can keep an eye on. Some, some metrics, some number that you can keep an eye on that way. Also when You know, when relief comes, you know exactly what to do and when to do it, is that your cause?

I think a lot of people there's a phrase out there somewhere in the world that is essentially that success is when preparation meets opportunity. And so if you're, you know, you could, if you can. [00:27:00] Go to the library and grab some personal finance books is to say like, Hey, it's free. I got not much going else going on.

Let's learn. Let's prepare. So that way, when I get that stimulus check or the next paycheck or the next job, or I, I need some sort of opportunity to, to grab onto, I can recognize it. I know what it is and where it is and what to do with it when it lands in my lap. Cause I think that also can be said eventually.

When you want to get into, I don't know, a real estate investing or stock trading or something is to say, to make a great. So to study other people that have already done it before, just copy them. You know, I'm going to write a book. A lot of other people have written books and a lot of the advice is phenomenal.

So now it could be a great learning opportunity to prepare for when spring time comes cause it's winter right now. But when spring comes, you'll know what to do and you'll know what to plant. So that way the rest of the year it'll grow.

So smart, very Sage, [00:28:00] very, very Sage advice, because I think when you're in a low point, it's easy to surrender to it, do stuff around the house, avoid thinking about the hard stuff.

Trista, Host: But what you're saying is be informed, educate yourself, stay on top of it mentally. So when you get that next opportunity to get back on top of it, financially, you'll know what to do, and you'll be smart

Dan Hinz: about it. Yeah, yeah. To not only be smart about it, but it's also like the world has changed. It's probably not going back to anything that we wanted, but that you could say that about any year, you know, we had Y2K or the, the scare of it back in 99, and then we had nine 11 and then, you know, to you know, 2008 financial crash and then something happened in between there somewhere.

So if you can, while you got the time get get ahead of the curve and, and learn something new. And so that way, when things are better again, and the sun is shining, you can make as much hay as possible.

[00:29:00] Perfect. I love it. So I always like to turn the tables before we wrap up and ask if you have one question that you'd like to ask me. So this is the time. What do you got?

Yeah, well, since we were on comedy what's the license plate that made you laugh the hardest, like was the best joke that you can remember.

Trista, Host: It's a very good question. There's so many good ones. You know, I, because of my vanity plate, Instagram account. Did you know that there's this subculture of vanity plate accounts on Instagram. There are so many of them. And so of course we follow each other. Right. I mean, I'm just, did you also know that in Maine, there are no requirements.

You can just have whatever you want, including swear

Dan Hinz: words. Really?

Wow. Yes, [00:30:00] indeed. They're trying to change the law to take out the, the offensive ones. But as of right now, they still have it.

In all the, the plates that you've seen, what has been the most impactful plate as far as like, it meant the most to the person that got it. Hmm.

Trista, Host: So you're. I think I'm on episode 46 as of the recording of this.

And it's, that's a hard question to answer because there are so many plates that are chosen because of the meaning behind them. Like yours is fun and quirky and funny, and it refers to a really important time in your life. But there's one in particular, the plate is keep going. [00:31:00] And it's to remind her to KEPGOIN, no matter what, as she deals with chronic pain.

And there's another one GPSHOPE, and this is a couple that travels around the country offering hope to parents that lost their kids. And it was started because they went through the same thing. There's another one GOPLAY.

And she bought her Jeep at the lowest point in her life. And she thought she was never going to have to make the first payment. And she got her whole life by joining the Jeep community. I

Dan Hinz: mean, Yeah. And, and that's, that's a key lesson and that's a lesson I've had to learn in the last year as well, is that I've been trying to, you know, get the YouTube channel going.

And I wanted to write a book and, you know, I was essentially starting to [00:32:00] burn out and I have you know, I was talking about Tony Robbins earlier and I have a Tony Robbins results coach, the lessons that she taught me. And then I had to learn is to say, you know, if you want to work hard, right. You got to play hard and that doesn't necessarily mean, you know, sex, drugs, and rock and roll.

It's just, when you work hard, you're focused. You're like I'm getting stuff done. I'm being productive. I'm in the zone. But when you play play the same way is that you want to be in the zone. Take time off, turn off your phone. And it could be a book. It could be a movie. It could be something quiet. And as an introvert, I like quiet things.

But it's too to really be like, I'm going to seriously play. I'm going to take this seriously. I'm not going to like half play while checking email. I'm not going to half play while catching up on something else. Like I'm taking time for me to, to, to unplug. And it's amazing, amazing when you do that, how much harder and more focused you can work when Monday comes around. And, and that's a lesson [00:33:00] I've had to learn for myself.

Yeah. Trista, Host: I agree with you.

Like you have to be able to manage yourself, your self care. Not work all the time, not get distracted and let work take over, especially when you're trying to build something like a YouTube channel. I mean, that's hard. You got to really like what you're talking about to grind one of those things out, every single solitary week.

Dan Hinz: Yeah. And also you either have to love editing or hire an editor. That's that's also part of it as well.

You are right about that.Trista, Host: So, do you have any last words before we wrap up?

Dan Hinz: I just say, if you, if you want to find me in other places, head to YouTube and look up adulting with money, or you can go to adultingwithmoney.com and if you have any questions at all, let me know. My best content, the stuff that I'm going to put in the book come from questions that people ask.

So I love to hear from you if [00:34:00] you have any questions at all when it comes to money and budgeting and being a great couple.

Trista, Host: That's awesome. And we will have all the ways to connect with you and access to your YouTube in the show notes so people will be able to find you. And I just want to thank you so much for being on it was really fun to learn your plate story and

Dan Hinz: beyond.

Yes. Trista. Thank you for having me. I had a great time, too.

Trista, Host: Awesome. Thanks Dan. Have a great day.

If you enjoyed this episode, please drop a review and give us a share. I'm Trista Polo wishing you well on the road to your next [00:35:00] adventure.

PODCASTS - Plate 56 - Trista's PL8STORY Podcast

trista@iwokeupawesome.com (Trista Polo) — Mon, 01 Feb 2021 09:01:51 GMT

PODCASTS - Plate 56 - Trista's PL8STORY Podcast

This week we meet Patrick Huba, from the Broadcast Capital of the world - Schenectady, NY. Patrick is a podcaster and host of The Huba Show. He covers topics from candy bar wrapper designs to exit doors that are locked durning normal business hours and so much more. We talk license plates, the railroad and he teaches me about Domain Squatting as a side hustle. Let’s go meet Patrick. www.hubashow.com

Connect with Patrick:

https://www.twitter.com/Huba

https://www.instagram.com/HubaShow

https://www.facebook.com/HubaShow

http://www.HubaShow.com

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Trista's PL8STORY Podcast Links

Nominate a plate - https://www.pl8story.com

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Episode Transcript available below.

PODCASTS EPISODE TRANSCRIPT - TRISTA'S PL8STORY PODCAST

Trista, Host: [00:00:00]Welcome to this week's episode of Trista's PL8STORY (Plate Story) Podcast. I'm Trista Polo from iwokeupawesome.com and I am your host. Each week, we learn the story behind that vanity plate. You know, the one you saw driving down the road... what did it say? What did it mean? Why did they choose it?

I'm so excited today to have Patrick Huba from Schenectady, New York, his license plate is PODCASTS. How fun is that? Welcome, Patrick.

Patrick Huba: Hey, welcome. Thank you very much. I'm

Trista, Host: excited to have you and your fellow podcaster as

Patrick Huba: well. Yes, I am. HubaShow.com. That's my podcast.

Trista, Host: Awesome. Well, we're going to talk about that and lots of other stuff, but of course we have to start with your plate story.

I'd love to know the story behind your plate PODCASTS.

Patrick Huba: So when I moved back to New York originally, when I was in New York, I had my last name. HUBA all right. I couldn't believe it was available. It could, because for years I checked periodically on the DMV website, they have a section on the [00:01:00] website. We can look at vanity plates and everything else.

It wasn't available. And then one day I was like, you know what? I was, it was like a rainy day in the summer. I said, let me check it out. So I type it all out. And I came back and said, there's no way because it's four letters. The smaller you go character count the harder it is to get a plate, especially one that sounds good.

So I saw my last name and I'm like, I have to have it. Put it in had the plate had that for about four or five years when I relocated to Florida, decided not to get the vanity plate.

I had a regular Florida plate was down there for a couple of years, came back here and just on a whim one day I was like, you know what, let me look up vanity plates. I was bored. I was like, you know what? Cause I liked doing domain names and stuff. So vanity places is like another, like branch of that. And I looked it up and I said, no way PODCASTS is available.

With the height with the explosion of podcasting? I couldn't believe it. I didn't even think about it.

I put boom. I put all my credit card information in and I got it. It was unbelievable.

Trista, Host: That's awesome. You know what [00:02:00] I love about your plate? Is it, you didn't use a zero or a five or a three, like it's actually spelled out.

Patrick Huba: Yeah. There's no guessing. There's no guessing there's no guesswork. You don't need to code book to have it.

You don't have to be driving along and you're looking, you know, like sometimes I want to pull over and ask people because there was a plate I saw a couple of weeks ago. And it's really bizarre. Over the last few weeks, I've been seeing tons of vanity plates all over the place. I saw a plate. I couldn't figure out what it was, but it was called poor speller with the little POR.

And then it was like S PLR. And I'm looking like, quite figured out what it was, you know, but I was telling this person for like five minutes, the whole time of it I could have had, who knows what behind me, or next to me, I had no idea that I'm looking because I was so determined to figure out what it was.

Trista, Host: That's awesome.

Patrick Huba: Yeah.

In New York state, you only have eight characters. I think other States have nine. No,

Trista, Host: everybody has seven. And then, yeah. So every state except for New [00:03:00] York and I think it might be North Carolina, there's only two States that allows eight characters. Every other state is seven.

Patrick Huba: No kidding. So New York were wow.

Trista, Host: Yeah. That's why they're so popular in New York, even though they're more pricey than a lot of places because they are the eight characters.

Patrick Huba: Yeah. That's probably a good reason. I mean, there's, there's, there's so many plates around up here.

Trista, Host: Now you had another license plate you tried to get, and you were not successful. And I thought that was a fun story. Can you tell us about that?

Patrick Huba: Okay. So a long time ago I bought a 1996 Chevy Caprice ex police car. All right. I love to ex police cars. They were boats, but they were, they were fast and they were well-made.

So I applied for the plate police with O and O and L flipped. So it was PLOICE. Okay. So it was flipped, but in your rear view mirror, you're looking at it and it looks real. I thought that would have been really cool. So I [00:04:00] applied for it and I believe I paid for it too. This is, this is going back about 15 or 16 years ago.

And then they sent me a letter. They refund my money because it was so confusingly similar they wouldn't issue it. And a lot of times they don't lock out competent. This is my understanding for people I know that told me that who were at the DMV. They don't lock out certain combinations until they actually get somebody applying for them.

Trista, Host: Now you have a podcast . So tell us about that.

Patrick Huba: I I used to be a broadcaster on 810WGY at Clear Channel a long time ago. I don't know, 15, 18 years ago, somewhere around there. And so I've always, I've always been into radio even when I was a kid, we started out playing walkie-talkies my brother and I, and my sister walkie talkies, as I got older and got a police scanner and then a CB radio, then a ham radio.

Ham license, all that stuff. And that was a commercial broadcaster. So it's all been this gradual like evolution and pop podcasting. Originally when podcasting came out, I believe Adam Curry was the first one to do a podcast. If I'm not mistaken, he was the MTV VJ back in the day on [00:05:00] MTV. And it's my understanding that when he started that it like people really didn't know what podcasting was.

So as podcasts and became more popular, more and more people got to realize, you know, what it was, what it was all about. And in the early stage of podcasts, it was like, you know, I'm never going to listen to that stuff, all this stuff, nobody's going to do that because at the time it was TV, prime time shows your content was very limited years ago.

Now it's the exact opposite. I canceled cable four years ago. I don't miss it at all. Because we have so many avenues of content. Now you only have so much time in the day. So you're like day trading your time, or you, how many hours are you on your phone? How many hours you're gonna computer TV, you could only do so much.

So anyway, so as time went on, I always did voiceovers and stuff like that. And I decided to one day I said, you know what, I'm going to try doing podcasting. And I just, I really love it. You know, I do it at my own leisure. I should be more consistent than what I am, but I really like it. It takes a little while to get an audience, but once you get an audience and I mean, there's people all over the world that listen to my podcast, it is awesome.

It's awesome. [00:06:00] I got, Oh yeah. So when I got into it, a lot, couple of my friends who podcasts and stuff like that. And what I like about it is is a basically you don't have a program director. So that's one of the things about working in broadcasting. If I'm a program director, I'm going to tell you what you can and can't do on the radio.

You have freedom to a point. But when you're a podcaster, you have all of the freedom. You don't have a program director hanging over your head. Hey, let's talk about this. I don't think that sounded good. Or this, you have total freedom and that's what it's about. People like that. But also what the other awesome thing about podcasting is is that people can listen at their own time at their own leisure.

Trista, Host: But yeah, I've had, this is my this is my third podcast and my fourth time hosting and the one time I hosted it. And I realized during that experience that the interviewer interviewee format is my favorite. I've been a cohost I've been a guest, but my favorite is interviewing others. So is your show, I [00:07:00] think your show is more general conversation. Do you have guests?

Patrick Huba: Yeah, sometimes I have guests, a general entertainment. See, one of the hardest things that I've come across is I'm not, I don't really fit into a category. Some people only talk about sports.

I can't just talk about one subject every, you know, three times a week. I can't do it. So, you know, one show might beat my, the, the last one I did was about license plates. What I did was when I, I had a whole bunch of combinations that I kept taking screenshots of, of New York state vanity plates. And I'm like, I've got to do a show about this.

This is fascinating. I couldn't believe some of the combinations that were available. Like CAMPER. Camping is huge in New York state people spend tens of thousands of dollars on camping supplies, gear you know campus. I can't believe nobody took the plate just to pull it. Can you imagine pulling into a campsite and it says camper on your car.

Talk about a conversational piece and [00:08:00] that's just, and they have legs. HIKER was available. All kinds of all. I think I saved about 25 or 30 screenshots, and I used those as the content of my show.

Trista, Host: Now you have a penchant for checking if things are available. You do this as a side hustle with domain names.

I want to get into that a little bit. So. When domain names first came out and the internet first came out, there were people in the world that I knew of that would go find the best domain names bUy them up. And then resell them and then you and I were having our little pre-interview chat and it turns out you were one of those guys and you still are.

Right. So tell me a little about that from your perspective.

Patrick Huba: So when the internet was emerging and one person out of every five square miles had a computer, one of my good friends where I grew up, he had a computer, right. So we were able to search. This is back when AOL was hourly. I remember when the internet was hourly.

The first domain name I ever registered [00:09:00] was localxplore.com. It was local common spelling with an X. And then PLORE. Okay.

And the idea behind that was to basically it's all the things that we have now is to go some place, like, let's say, for example, Albany, New York and all the businesses in Albany that want to be in this directorY would be there. So it was like a way to kind of like make navigation simpler. So that was the first that I had.

And when I, I can remember looking at domain names, not even realizing what I was looking at. All right. Until in the future. Some of the names I saw sold for millions of dollars later on I, when I was in college, it was $35, I think, a year to register a domain name. And that was a lot to, you know, when you're a college, $35, a lot of money sometimes.

Right. So I, I hesitated to buy happybirthday.com and I'm like, you know, I really wanted, it's awesome. This is back in like 97 or 98, something like that. So I'm like, you know, I should [00:10:00] really, I want that name. Well, I don't know, $35. Make a long story short, I hesitated for two weeks. Somebody bought it. They flipped it six months later for about 75,000. It changed hands about one or two other times since then, but now it's valued at about 2.5 million.

Trista, Host: Actually, I just looked - power the internet, right. I just looked up happyBirthday.com. It is currently for sale for $4 million.

Patrick Huba: There you go. It just increased last year. So when I looked at it, because whoever had it for a while, you could go into like, Like like supermarkets, right in the card section or CVS or a commune store. And they actually had cards they were selling. And on the back, if you want more of our cards go to happybirthday.com.

So there was like this thing, right. And I remember walking into a store one time and I saw that and I'm like, that's unbelievable. I could have had that name, that right there, that would have been a goldmine, but there were a lot of names. I remember seeing like albany.com New York, all the States, basically real short ones too.

[00:11:00] Didn't realize the potential or the value of these early on. And people that went all in on this stuff, and they're all like sitting pretty now. Cause they're worth a fortune.

Well, I'll tell you my company we have an online shopping site and the name is shop.com and that at one time had the record for the most expensive resale purchase price. I don't know what the exact amount was. It was over a million dollars, but at the time that it was sold, it broke a record.

So, yeah, so that's, that's a good one. Now you had some good ones that you've owned and sold. Tell me about some of the good ones you did snag.

I used to own waterballoons.com. I sold that a long time ago. There was, let's see here. What else did back in the day, I'm trying to think of some of the other names that I had.

I've had hundreds and hundreds of names over the years. Sometimes the names, the lists were so big, I would forget what names I had and I would always have to go in, Hey, do you have something [00:12:00] similar to this? I'd have to, I don't really know. I have to go in and look and all that, but one of the a place you can go and get a daily tea or.

Well weekly tally up to you know, yearly tally is DNjournal.com. If you go there, they've been online, I think since the late nineties, if I'm not mistaken and what they do is they show you all of the names that are being sold and it gives you the price and everything. I think two years ago, voice.com sold for 30 million.

You know, $30 million there. Then they give you all the lists of names that are selling all the extensions to all the, you know, say top 20 extensions. I think there's like 600 now. It's crazy. But the ones that I always stick by or.com.net and.org, I don't deviate from those anymore. I've gotten burned in the past dot dot mobi was a big thing and everybody thought that this mobile world was going to go to.mobi. Well, it didn't. [00:13:00] And, and, but the thing about domaining is you waste a lot of money. So when you do sell a name, you're just recouping a lot of time and lost names that you let fall off most of the time, you know. Every now and then you might have a big hit, but now it's so hard to find good names.

I find I kind of compare it to panning for gold. Okay. Gold is pretty much been mined out on the surface, most places that are popular, but you can still go to rivers and stuff out West and pan for gold and all that stuff. You might find a couple of little nuggets like this, or some gold dust.

And maybe over the course of a few days of panning for gold, you might have maybe an ounce of gold, but if you ever I've been told by . , I've never panned for gold, but I know people who have, they said, when you get bit by the gold bug, it's like. This obsession that you can't get rid of and you can, it will never escape you when you find real gold in the ground that you can turn in for money.

Yeah. You'll you're gonna want to [00:14:00] excavate the whole mountain side. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I found it once.

Trista, Host: I can find it again.

Patrick Huba: No, it's that mentality. It's like, it's like being at the slot machine. You know, the next one's going to be the winner, this next pan that I move around in the water. I might find a big nugget that's worth, you know, three ounces.

Trista, Host: I like to dnjournal.com And the record for I'm not that impressed. The record for 2020 just sold on November 11th. And it was bullish.com for a $1,080,000.

Patrick Huba: That's all, not that impressed

Trista, Host: compared to some of the ones we've been talking about.

Yeah. You told me that you owned conveniencestore.com. Yep.

Patrick Huba: That's a pretty cool one. Yup. I, I bought that a long time ago and I sold that to a large corporation with a couple others. When it comes to domain names, it's, it's, it's the art of out thinking people. Okay, because, and what I mean by that is let's say somebody, let's say there's a brand new industry that emerges, right.

Let's [00:15:00] say podcasting is starting tomorrow. Nobody's ever heard of podcasts before. So you'll start thinking, you know, maybe you'll get podcastequipment.com cause you know, people are going to want to buy equipment or, or, you know, podcasts, whatever transactions or payments or something like that, or advertising.

You know, and you'll start like putting these keywords in and mixing them around and stuff. It's very tedious process and it's a very tedious process and it really is labor intensive. It's very labor intensive. So people want to sit down at the computer and they think they're going to make, you know, a hundred thousand dollars in five minutes.

Back in the nineties. Yes, you could, but not anymore because there's thousands of people every hour doing this. I've actually been at the computer, looking at names, refresh the screen, somebody got them. We were all watching the screen somewhere in the world together and they grabbed them.

Trista, Host: I can't believe it's that big still. I mean, I could have gotten that it was huge in the nineties. When the internet was starting. But I can just go to GoDaddy buy a name, not [00:16:00] by name, whatever. Like it's amazing to me that it, that the aftermarket domain name is still very big.

Patrick Huba: It's really big still. And the reason being is because the first step to establishing yourself on the web is getting a domain name. It's the first step. Yeah. You shouldn't

Trista, Host: even name your company until you've made sure you have domain and the Facebook name and the Instagram name and the YouTube name and the LinkedIn name.

So it's a different world. Now you had a name that you actually were not able to sell as a result of some case law. Can you talk about that a little?

Patrick Huba: Yeah, sure. A long time ago. I think it was back in 2000, 2001. It may have actually have, may register it 99, nine, somewhere around there.

I owned dunkindoughnuts.com the phonetic spelling. Now it's really interesting because if you ask people how you spelled Dunkin donuts, you'll get mixed reactions. Or mixed [00:17:00] responses and I owned Dunkin D U N K I N. Donuts, the phonetic smelling, not Don UTS, like Dunkin donuts is spelled it's D O U G H N UTS.

And they wanted that name. There's four things you had to prove. I forget exactly what all four of them were, but they could prove two out of the four. Eventually, you know, I just gave it to them. But this was a kind of held up their line of napkins and cups with their actual address on it. I remember that I remember not seeing their website address on anything until after they acquire this name for me.

And then everything came out. Like napkins, straws, you know, all the little cups they sell and everything else like that. So I wonder if that had any impact on that. I don't know what my case, my domain case was used for quite a bit of other cases as confusingly similar that's where they get you is confusingly similar.

You know, kind of like a branch off of [00:18:00] domains is social media names. I'm actually doing it now on Instagram.

There's a name that I want. And the person hasn't used their Instagram account in years. And I tried contacting Instagram. I want to talk to see if I can get it because when I a long time ago, Twitter. All right. I wanted my last name on Twitter.

HUBA. Well, the way I got that was somebody else had it, but their account was inactive. I think they had one tweet, one tweet in a two year time span and no activity. So I wrote a very persuasive letter to Twitter and they said, Hey, no problem. This person obviously doesn't use her account. Boom, it's yours.

And I couldn't believe it. I could not believe this was a long time ago. This was back in like 2010. Nine somewhere in there. Now I don't think they would do that. , but Instagram, I'm trying really hard to get one of the names on Instagram and I think I'll probably be successful.

So we'll have to see, but you, if it, Oh, I actually sold a screen name on eBay before. AOL instant messenger. What I would do is I would come [00:19:00] up with combinations and then grab them and just keep them. And one of the common one time I wanted to see if I could sell a screen name on eBay.

And I actually did, it was like for eight bucks, but I just wanted to see if I could do it in the screen name was, thiswasonebay. That was the screen name on AOL.

Trista, Host: Yeah. You almost have to be like a chess player, forecaster, psychic to be in this in this world.

Patrick Huba: Yeah. It's a, it's very much like a chess game.

Trista, Host: Yeah, it definitely is. It definitely is. Now you've worked in radio and you've also worked on the railroad as well. And I wanted to talk about that real briefly because my husband's father was an engineer. He was a signal engineer for the railroad for his whole career.

And my grandfather worked for the railroad and my husband's grandfather worked for the railroad. So I got a lot of railroad in my history. So what do you do for the

Patrick Huba: railroad? Well back in 2006, I applied to the railroad and I was hired because I was a [00:20:00] broadcaster.

But the problem with broadcasting is if I'm the host, right? If I'm the host and I have a producer and another producer and a sensor and a writer and a somebody that you know, like an engineer, you have all these people that are tied to you. All right. So think of it, like all these vines going out the end of the vines.

You've got people. Well, if I'm the host and I get fired, all of you guys suffer indirectly because of me. You didn't do anything wrong. As a producer, I may have said something or, you know, whatever this goes for radio across the whole land. So if, if a host gets fired, you suffer indirectly. And I was tired of that because that happened to me.

I was part of a show, a host got, let go. They still retained me, but it was for a temporary basis. And I said, I don't like all this, this unknown, the land of the unknown. So that's when I started looking around for better jobs. And I was hired, I got hired at the post office and the railroad, and I went with the railroad.

So I started out as a conductor and then I was a train dispatcher for about 12 [00:21:00] years and a train dispatcher is like an air traffic controller on the ground. And that was a lot of fun, very technical field. Very stressful. You have to perform a high performance the whole time. And the other thing about it too, it's really interesting.

There's so much involved. See a lot of people think you get on a train age, you drive a train, you don't drive a train to operate a train. Train doesn't have a steering wheel. Okay. and I can't believe how many people actually say that. The other thing about it too, is is that there's so many rules and regulations. Most people don't understand what is involved at the railroad. It's a 24 hour a day business, seven days a week, rain or shine.

If it's 30 below, zero outside, there's still railroaders out there working. It's amazing. It's one of those types of careers that it's, it's one of those careers that when you go to work, you feel like you're back in time. You know what I mean? You feel like you're back in time because the railroads are almost 200 years old, [00:22:00] you know,

Trista, Host: And you were on the river line

Patrick Huba: freight. River lines. Yep. That's where I dispatched

Trista, Host: on the Hudson river. And I see that go by all the time. I actually live on that side of the river. So if I'm going across the Poughkeepsie bridge or the Newburgh bridge, I could, I see that all the time.

And you actually said. In our pre-conversation that that's the most important railway. And I was curious why that is.

Patrick Huba: Okay. So if you're looking at the Hudson river on a map, the left side, the West side of the Hudson river is the river line. The right side is the Hudson line. The Hudson line is used to be dispatched by us from Poughkeepsie North to Rensselaer.

That's all a different, that's all Amtrak now, but it used to be a different railroad. The West side is the freight side of the railroad. Okay. So they're two totally different railroads con con con controlling two different sets of tracks. The [00:23:00] river line, basically the Northeast corridor from Buffalo to Albany, Albany to Boston, Albany, down to New Jersey that is considered a Northeast corridor.

It is a very historic and important route. That is probably the most critical section of railroad out of the whole entire United States. Okay. Basically you're connecting New York city, New Jersey to Buffalo and beyond.

Trista, Host: And it's still used every single day. It never got overtaken by trucking or anything else. It's it's probably where a lot of the cargo is

Patrick Huba: moved. A lot, a lot of, one of CSA historic route. And what's really neat about it is you go through the West point tunnel. The only time you're going to go through that tunnel is when you working on the railroad or you're actually a cadet at West point . I believe above the tunnel they still make, they still mint the West point [00:24:00] silver Eagles and maybe the golden Eagles too. I think they do. I still, I'm pretty sure they still do the coins there. And if they, if you, if you have one, they'll have a w on it for West point. That's my understanding of, I'm not a big coin collector, but I do know they put the, the w on the coin when they make them.

Trista, Host: Awesome.

Patrick Huba: There's a lot of beautiful places up and down the Hudson rivers over here at Bannerman's Island. Oh, sure. Do you know the history behind that?

Trista, Host: My husbasnd does he is very fascinated with Bannerman's Island and used to sneak onto the Island before it was open with his friends and camp there and things like that.

And then I had a friend, I worked in New York city for several years and I had a friend from my job who was part of the initial historic team that was working on opening it. And I was, we were one of the first people to tour it when it was opening for public consumption. And my friend's daughter [00:25:00] has I think she was the assistant director or the stage manager for one of the plays that they did there last year, because they now have a whole theater series on the Island. It's wonderful that they're allowing it to be used and seen and experienced. Because for so long it was just crumbling around us.

Patrick Huba: It's amazing. I, I would always look at that when I was on the trains and I'm like, you know, I want to go there someday.

There's just something about seeing it out there, you know, the stone structure, you've got the mountains behind it and the river, it looks very medieval and I like that kind of era, you know.

Trista, Host: Oh yeah, absolutely. It has a very rich history as well.

So I always like to turn the tables before we wrap up and see if you have a question for me. So if there's one question you'd like to ask me, this is a great time. Do you have one?

Patrick Huba: What were the, what were the, what were the other podcasts that you used to be a part of?

What were they about?

Trista, Host: Oh so I was part of one that [00:26:00] with a friend of mine who is a Reiki master psychic and social worker. So we did a podcast, a lot of conversations around those topics. And then another friend of mine is in the top 1% of the Pampered Chef consultants in the world.

In the world in the world.

And so she and I did a podcast about network marketing, talking about like how to be successful and tips and tricks and things to keep in mind. The first one is no longer available, but the second one is still around. And I, we, I just switched my website over, but until then I was still getting updates about people listening to it.

And we haven't done a new episode on that one in like five years, maybe six

Patrick Huba: isn't that something, see that's the power of the internet. That's the difference [00:27:00] between a broadcaster and a podcaster.

Some, see if you keep this stuff, you might, and this is, this is what I tell people. You gotta be patient because most people that get into podcasting, Oh, how come I don't have 50,000 listeners? Like, are you kidding me? That takes a long time to get up to that. If you have one or two listeners a week, when you first start off, that's, that's good.

You're doing good. But for people to sit down, I see it all the time on like these Facebook groups, I'm a part of and podcasting and stuff, you know, Hey, I just spent, you know, this money on this equipment and you know, I'm only, I only have one person this whole month that listened to me. Well, you might have a microphone.

You might have a terrible setup where there's hits and hum you know, and nobody wants to listen to that. So they're not going to download it. But the other part of it too, is you could have episodes that are kind of stagnant for a while. And then all of a sudden they explode for whatever reason I've had that happen to me.

I have, for whatever reason, I had a lot of listeners in China. A lot of [00:28:00] listeners and I couldn't understand like all of a sudden out of nowhere, boom. I had all these people in China that were listening to my show and downloading my episodes. Oh yeah. It was unbelievable. So like you'd never really know, but that's, what's great about the internet.

This stuff can sit out there and it's just as fresh now is it was three years ago when it was made. And there's, that's the beauty of it. That's the beauty. There's no like shelf life. And for whatever reason, there's vanity plates in the news all over the place. And there's just like land rush to get vanity plates and people are typing in and stuff like this and it's coming back. That's how I discovered you.

That's how I discovered you. When I was, again, this was when I was looking at podcasts or a vanity license plates, DMV website. And I just started typing them into Google to see if I can, like, I think what I was doing is I wanted to see if other people had podcast in other States. And that's when I kept coming back with these, these plates, with this what's PL8STORY (plate story) , like it's just everywhere in Google images, you know?

Cause it's so [00:29:00] niche it's so it's so defined that you're going to be. You know, especially with your podcasts, you do consistently, you're going to be ranked in the top one or two consistently. You were, and I'm like, who is this plate story? You know, everywhere. And then that's when I was looking more into it and stuff, and that's how the ball got rolling.

Trista, Host: Yeah. And I was so excited that you reached out to me.

Patrick Huba: I was fascinated, but I saw that somebody was doing a podcast because I think all the time, what could people do? Or what could I do to stand out? Right. And I'm like somebody doing a vanity plate podcast. You've got to be kidding me. I couldn't believe it.

And you were in the same home state as me. I thought that was awesome. I thought that was great. Cause I kept saying that I'm like, you know, those are New York plates. I'm like, that's gotta be the way you modify them stuff. I'm like, she's gotta be from New York. How cool is this? You know? And I thought that was awesome.

So. Congratulate.

Trista, Host: Well, thank you. Thank you. Yeah, I've said this before, but I've had a lot of ideas in my life and [00:30:00] usually the response I get to my ideas. Oh, good luck with that. Oh, you're still doing that. That's nice. But this is one of the first things, this and the name of my business. My URL are the two best ideas I've had.

So I guess I'm getting better, better with age, but I. Tell people about this podcast or they find out about it. They're like, this is the coolest thing ever. I can't believe, I didn't think of it. That's the answers I always get.

Patrick Huba: You know what it is too. I talked to somebody who when I was living in Florida for a little while, one of my neighbors used to be a YouTube celebrity.

Right. And she gave it up because she had people showing up to her place, figuring out where she lived. Hey, can I have a signature. Getting bombarded with photographs, all this stuff, she got so tired of it.

So she told me, I said, what is, we were swimming around the pool one day down in Florida. And I said, what is the biggest factor with making it or breaking it on the internet? And she says, you have to be relatable. You have to be relatable to people.

[00:31:00] And this relates to me, there's so many people out there. Everybody drives a car. Everybody has a license plate. A lot of people are in a vanity plates and I'm telling you, your show's only going to get more popular as time goes on.

Trista, Host: Oh from your mouth.

It's been really nice having you I've really enjoyed speaking with you and, . If people want to check out your podcast, I'll have the link in the show notes. So they'll be able to get to know you more and spend some time with you through your channels.

Patrick Huba: Well, I'd really appreciate that. And thank you for having me as a guest on your show. It's been amazing. I love talking about vanity plates and I'm so happy there's somebody out there in the world doing amazing podcast about vanity plates, because people love this stuff they love.

Yes. Thank you so much.

Trista, Host: Have a great

Patrick Huba: day.

Trista, Host: Thank you for joining us for this week's episode of Trista's PL8STORY podcast. Please subscribe to Trista's PL8STORY podcast to get the story behind all those vanity plates, [00:32:00] driving with you on the road. And if you would like to nominate the owner of a license plate, including you... Or visit any of our partners and sponsors come and see us www.pl8story.com. That's P L number eight story.com and give us the details.

If you enjoyed this episode, please drop a review and give us a share. I'm Trista Polo wishing you well on the road to your next adventure.

HDN GEM - Plate 55 - Trista's PL8STORY Podcast

trista@iwokeupawesome.com (Trista Polo) — Mon, 25 Jan 2021 09:00:05 GMT

Meet D'Ann Smith of Central VA - She Shares the Story Behind HDN GEM

This week we meet D’Ann from a small agricultural community in Central Virginia. D’Ann is a trauma recovery coach at Wounded Healer Coaching, inspired by my own recovery from lifelong struggles with PTSD and a passion for spreading the word that #WeAreDesignedToHeal from past pain and we already have the keys to do it. D’Ann shares her own story and the stories of some of those she has helped. Let’s go meet D’Ann!

Connect with PL8STORY:

Trista's PL8STORY Podcast Links

Nominate a plate - https://www.pl8story.com

Meet your host - https://www.iwokeupawesome.com

Subscribe to Trista's PL8STORY Podcast on Apple Podcast (http://bit.ly/itunespl8story), Google Podcast, Spotify or your favorite podcast app and access all published episodes

HDN GEM

Trista, Host: [00:00:00]Welcome to this week's episode of Trista's PL8STORY (Plate Story) Podcast. I'm Trista Polo from iwokeupawesome.com and I am your host. Each week, we learn the story behind that vanity plate. You know, the one you saw driving down the road... what did it say? What did it mean? Why did they choose it?

Welcome. I am so excited to have this week's featured guest with us. D'Ann Smith is here from the mountains of Virginia and her license plate is the hidden gem, H D N G E M. Hidden gem. I love this. So D'Ann welcome.

D'Ann Smith: Thank you. I'm so excited to be here.

Trista, Host: Yeah, I'm excited to have you, so share a little bit about your license plate story.

What had you choose that as your vanity plate?

D'Ann Smith: Well in my first marriage my, my husband and I had a little bit of a A really good start right before the wedding. We were [00:01:00] getting along, it was really exciting for us and he looked at me one day and he said, you are a hidden gem. And it just was such a powerful thing to have someone say to me I, no one had ever said anything like that to me. And it stuck with me and it's what I held on to during the following years when we had what amounts to a lot of conflict, a lot of misunderstanding. We both really wanted the marriage to work and it really didn't.

Part of the reason was because I was dealing with PTSD, but I was undiagnosed. So nobody had a clue that that was an issue. And it turns out that he was also terrified that he was going to fail. I was his second wife, his first wife left him and blamed him for everything. And he took that burden on and [00:02:00] he was just afraid to be vulnerable because he thought it was his fault that the first marriage failed.

And if I really knew him, the second marriage would fail. So yeah. And. I entered that marriage with the idea that I knew there were things about me that weren't quite the way I wanted them to be. But I figured, you know, marrying my marrying such a wonderful guy was going to fix everything. I just needed to be loved in the right way.

And, and, and I would feel so much better and everything would just be better. And I, I always thought he was a gem of a guy. As it turns out I was codependent. I was looking to him to fix me and he was emotionally unavailable. And you know, that's just a toxic mix. So we ended up divorced. Later I was actually, I was diagnosed with PTSD at the end of that relationship in 1989, when [00:03:00] nobody knew much about what PTSD was.

Or what it, what, how it affects us or what to do about it. So 10 years later I'm married again. And that relationship didn't go any better. As it turns out in that relationship, we had the same issues, but the roles were reversed at this point 10 years later. I'm not willing to be vulnerable and he was codependent.

And it was shortly after I married my second husband that I became disabled by the PTSD. From the time I was diagnosed until then I had kept as a priority, the idea that I didn't want to be disabled by it. I wanted to be contributing financially to my home. And, but I had a crash. I had a major crash and That was the primary thing that [00:04:00] was the bone of contention in my second marriage was the expectations that didn't get met because I was disabled and couldn't work.

After that marriage ended and I was on disability, I really struggled with a sense of value with a sense of purpose. So I began making custom jewelry. I I've always been an artist. I've always enjoyed using different things to make beautiful art. And here I was living alone with very little money and I had some resources that I could use some supplies that I can use to do this. And I realized that have to justify doing something that gave me joy. It didn't have to bring in an income, although it did just not a lot, but that as a human being, I deserve the opportunity to do [00:05:00] things, to make me happy. And that was a new thought for me that I didn't have to justify something that made me happy. And at that point, that, that was such a huge thing that it brought back to mind that thing that my first husband said that I was hidden gem.

So here I am in a clearing in the woods, nobody knows me from Adam's house cat and I felt hidden. Right. So that whole thing just came together. And I decided that I wanted a vanity plate that said hidden gem because every time I got in my car, I would see that plate.

And it would remind me that I had intrinsic value and it connected to the whole jewelry making thing with beautiful gems. And yeah, that's, that's how I ended up with that license plate.

Trista, Host: Well, that's a beautiful story and I really [00:06:00] appreciate you sharing it and. I had a couple of thoughts about what you shared, first of all, you know, you're talking about your relationship with each of your husbands and it's so interesting.

You know, when we get into relationships with, you know, serious relationships like a significant other or family business, or friend relationships, it seems that we bring a lot of our past based conversations, to those relationships. And so your first husband worrying that he was going to mess it up because he was left.

You worrying that you didn't have value in trying to prove that you could be loved and would be loved by having someone else outside of you do that. All of that has to be based on our past. Right. And we're so driven by our past. So I think that the fact that fast forward. You started to [00:07:00] own your own creativity, your own value, your own worth is so beautiful.

And I really acknowledge you for that.

I'd love to dive a little bit into PTSD. It's it's something I've heard many, many times it gets thrown around in conversations, but not being part of the mental health crowd, it's a little lost on me. So I'd love to ask you a little bit about PTSD.

So can you tell us a little about like what can cause PTSD in daily life? Especially since you had it for so long, it didn't realize it.

D'Ann Smith: Yeah. We've learned an awful lot about PTSD, about trauma, about what it is and how it affects us. Since I was diagnosed in 1989 at that point they were still, everybody was still figuring out what it is and what to do about it.

My journey has pretty much reflected the [00:08:00] increase of knowledge and understanding that. The medical community has been going through because, you know, I was in therapy for 30 years. And, and every single one of my therapist was genuinely interested in helping me. So my progress has been very, very slow, very incremental.

Trauma is something that i n daily life in your relationships in your circumstances that that triggers your instinct level responses, the unconscious automatic responses that are programmed into our DNA for survival. So for me, it started out in my childhood. I was born into a family at war with itself.

And so the first trauma experiences I had were Oh [00:09:00] gosh, are the earliest possible moments with all of the conflict and intensity and stuff. That affected me very powerfully and then it never ended. It was crisis after crisis after crisis. And. Then when I got into my young adult years, something happened that is also common to people with trauma.

And that is that I reproduced the circumstances I was familiar with, which meant all of my circumstances, whether it was relationships or whether it was just normal daily life, I unconsciously recreated the same circumstances in my life that I had always had. I did not have any clue what it was like not to live in conflict, not to be upset.

That was my normal. [00:10:00] So this can, this can be for so many different people at so many different things. It's a very individual thing. What actually triggers a trauma response. It can be parents who are struggling to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table. So one of them disappears because they work two jobs or both of them spend more time at work than they do at home.

And so we, we ended up feeling abandoned. We're not getting emotional needs met, and this is all, this is all unconscious for children up to like age eight or nine, you know? So we, we grow out of that period of life and we don't even know we're experiencing this. We don't know that's in our minds.

And for some, unfortunately, it's also about mistreatment. It's about intentional abuse. It's [00:11:00] about being victimized by someone outside the family. It could be any kind of tragedy losing a parent, losing a sibling. It could be moving, changing schools. I changed schools 14 times in 12 years, you know, so it, it really th th the list of how we can be traumatized is endlessly long.

Yeah, I'm really seeing that. Yeah. And it, and it all links back to the individual's original DNA map for what constitutes a survival issue and what doesn't. So it varies so widely because everybody's different. Right. Everybody has different sensitivity levels and they're more sensitive to some things than others.

So we also have big T trauma, which is, you know, like being in a car accident and ending up in a [00:12:00] coma or a fire in the house or being fired from a job, big T traumas, things that, that hit us like a mantra. And we change. And our lives changed from that moment. There are the little T traumas then we don't, you know, usually think of as traumas, but they affect us powerfully because that's just who we are.

We're sensitive to that thing. But the bottom line is I, I honestly believe that trauma is normal human experience. It's just life. Nobody gets into adulthood without some kind of trauma in their childhood. Nobody gets to be at the end of their life without having experienced some kind of trauma. It, yeah, it's just life

Trista, Host: Let me ask you this. So you went through a lot, you realized and were diagnosed. What did you do to overcome it? Because clearly, you know, you went into being able to really start seeing your [00:13:00] worth dealing with the diagnosis growing from there. How did you accomplish that?

D'Ann Smith: Well, the first thing I did was I went into therapy and so I was in therapy off and on for, for 30 years.

Of course there wasn't much in the way of expertise when I first started therapy. But I was excited because having that diagnosis and being able to read books and ask questions, gave me an understanding of what I was dealing with and why which had been a mystery up until that point up until that point.

I just thought I was an alien that I was different from the rest of the human race. So that was, that was a point of hope for me. And I just dug in. I'm like, well, if, if we know what this is, there's gotta be some way to fix it. Right. And I just, [00:14:00] I just, I sat, I remember my first session after my first hospitalization, right before I left my husband, my first husband and I, and I I looked at my therapist and I said, you know, I finally figured out that life is going to hurt no matter what you do, there are just some things that we can't prevent. So if, if life is going to hurt anyways, it makes more sense to me to invest my pain in making progress than it does to invest my pain in preventing change. So I'm okay with going into things I don't know and I've never experienced before for the sake of healing. Instead of trying so hard to just stay with what I need. And, and that [00:15:00] has defined my journey. So being in therapy helped because it made me learn how to be more. Self-aware how to be able to ask myself questions. And over that long period of time, I actually ended up with two super skillful experienced trauma therapists. So 20 of that 30 years was with two really, really magnificent therapists who were very helpful.

I was diagnosed in 1989. I didn't become disabled until 2002. Because every time I realized I was struggling with something, nobody else did, I came up with a way to compensate for it. So instead of trying to, to work in an office job, which had discovered from experience didn't fit me, I became a waitress and I enjoyed the interaction with the clients, but it also gave me flexibility that I needed when [00:16:00] my symptoms were overwhelming and I couldn't work, you know? So things like that just kept me going.

And that was, that's a journey. That's a journey until, and then eventually I ended up recently, I ended up learning some fabulous new information. New science, new technology has given us a whole magnitude of difference in what we understand and what we know about trauma and how the human mind works, how the, how it affects the human body.

And so now I have tools that have given me a dramatic level of improvement that surpassed in just a few weeks, what I was able to accomplish in 30 years. So now I'm a trauma recovery coach.

Trista, Host: That's awesome. So you've taken your own experience and you're now bringing it to [00:17:00] other people. And you had shared this with me during our pre interview that you started working with a specific process that a coach brought to you and that it allowed you in six months to do something that you had struggled to do for 30 years, you mentioned something called neuro divergent. Can you share a little bit about what's different real briefly from this new process than what you were went through in therapy?

D'Ann Smith: The one thing that trauma does is it alters our brain and our neurology.

The chemical processes, the chemical production that we create when we are experiencing trauma, literally physically alters us. And I brought up neuro neuro divergent because there are a great many people talking about being neurodivergent because of add [00:18:00] ADHD that kind of thing. So we, we already knew that people with those diagnosis had a different physiology in their neurological system and brain, but the truth is that trauma does the same thing.

So depending on how much trauma you're dealing with and how long it existed in your life the changes may be small. The changes may be huge for me. I I'm dealing with what's called complex traumas, lifelong trauma that started in early childhood, not everybody's trauma is like that. So I know that I am permanently, physically altered from my original DNA neurological blueprint.

But the thing that we know now is that the brain is incredibly elastic. It's. Adaptive, it can grow new cells and [00:19:00] new neural pathways and the the tools that I acquired six months ago used that knowledge to allow me to connect with myself at a level and in a way had never been able to do so before to actually look at the core roots of my trauma and actually heal those to pull the electric emotional content that kept them alive and intrusive and disruptive and pull that energy out of it so that they just became memories and they stopped intruding into my life and I stopped grumbling over them. So that is how in just a few weeks I was able to accomplish so much growth and so much healing.

Trista, Host: That's awesome. And you have clients that have had some successes as well. Can you share a [00:20:00] story or two from the clients you've been working with as a coach?

D'Ann Smith: Sure. I had one client. His mother died decades ago and every holiday he went into deep depression.

And it has relationship with his mom was really a love, hate relationship. He was very attached to her and there was a lot of conflict in that relationship. And it just was like, she was always with him. She was in everything he experienced and it was really, really difficult for him. And he got to the point where he was just not wanting to be miserable when everybody else was enjoying a holiday.

Hey, and he, wanted it to stop interfering in his perceptions and interactions with other people. So he went through the process with me and in one session, just one session I could see, I could visibly see [00:21:00] on him and his demeanor and his expression and carriage, the massive shift he was able to experience.

He was able to let go of decades of unresolved grief. He was able to make peace with his perceptions of his relationship with his mom and his emotions about her, about what their relationship was like as well as about losing her. And he was just... he was just transformed in one session. Now, most people need more than one session to, to really to really deal with the scope of whatever trauma is doing in their lives.

But this one session was amazingly transformative. It was awesome

Trista, Host: seeing opportunity. And like you said, I'm sure most people need a few sessions, especially if it's a very big trauma or it's a longstanding. When you [00:22:00] work with someone is it sort of like therapy where it's a lifelong commitment or can you handle things in a specific amount of time? So that it's finite.

Yeah. So the cool thing about what I'm doing is that these tools are not something I use on my clients. My, I teach the tools to my clients. And so in a session they're actually doing all the work themselves. I'm not saying anything to them. And it'sD'Ann Smith: what I do is I I, my program is like eight to 12 weeks at this point.

And there's of course there's a little bit of getting to know each other, a little bit of coaching which is sort of like, you know, the therapy relationship. But the, the goal of this program is to teach these tools to my clients and have them learn them so well that they become habits and it changes the, it [00:23:00] changes your thought habits.

It changes the way you perceive things. It changes the way you respond to things. It changes the way you talk to yourself. We're unlearning the unhealthy unconscious habits that we bring into the situation and replacing them with the ones that teach us how to heal, teach us how to maintain that healing and teach us how to prevent future events from becoming unresolved trauma.

So we're healing old trauma and we're making, creating and maintaining a state of healing.

Trista, Host: That's awesome.

D'Ann Smith: This is about how the human mind and body works work together and how to use that knowledge to engage the, the self-healing design that's part of our DNA. We're designed physically to heal. When we cooperate with that [00:24:00] process, our body does the work. The same thing is true of the mind when we understand how that self-healing process works. And we cooperate with it. Her, our unconscious mind does the work.

Trista, Host: Yeah, that's amazing.

And I think you're right. You know, there are ways that our brain and our body work, we're not even really understanding. And it sounds like you've been able to harness what already is happening and what we're capable of to create healing, which is so powerful.

This is soD'Ann Smith: you know, this was such an exciting thing for me after 30 years to just invest a few weeks and learning tools and to make a quantum leap.

And I hate to use the word quantum because everybody's been overusing that word, but this is literally a geometric expansion of health in just a few weeks compared to the 30 years in therapy. And [00:25:00] the 30 years of therapy gave me value. But it doesn't have to take it doesn't have to take years to deal with trauma anymore.

It doesn't have to take decades. We have the knowledge and tools now that allow us to do our own healing, to take responsibility for our own mental and emotional health and maintain it. We just need to learn how to use the keys that we already have in ourselves. Hmm,

Trista, Host: that's great. And I love that that's a perfect place to kind of put a button on this conversation because you're absolutely right.

And I can hear your passion when you started to talk about like what you can really see as possible. And I'm going to use quantum leap. I'm not, I think that's a perfect way to put it because it's, you know, they there's a saying from Niels Bohr, it's something like, if you think you understand quantum physics, then you don't get it at all.

It's [00:26:00] like, when you're confused by it, that's when you're starting to get the tip of the iceberg. That's not the quote, but that's the kind of meaning behind the quote. And it's exactly what you're talking about. Like, we don't even understand what we're capable of. So I love that you have tools to help people harness that capability.

Yeah. Yeah.

It's, it's why I can wake up every morning. Excited. I get to watch. I mean, transformation is another word that's just been overused so much lately, but I get to literally watch someone change in a one hour session. Yeah, that's beautiful. It's like watching a Rose open up in fast-forward film, right.

D'Ann Smith: Or, or

Trista, Host: hold on, wait, you're ready. Or it's like finding a rock in the ground and polishing it up and exposing the hidden gem inside of people. Exactly. Look what I just did there. Oh my [00:27:00] gosh. That's amazing. That's awesome. Well, we're going to have links to your website and your social media and everything.

So people can connect with you if they'd like to get more information. Now I always like to turn the tables before we wrap up and see if you have a question for me. Is there something you'd like to ask me?

D'Ann Smith: What is it about podcasting that keeps you excited to keep doing it?

Trista, Host: That's a great question, actually, because there is this, I don't know if this is the official term for it, but there's definitely something that I'll call podcasting fatigue. Right? You get this idea, you say, Oh my gosh, this is going to be so great.

And then after all the shininess wears off, there's still a weekly episode in front of you. And so when people start podcasts - there are thousands of podcasts out there that have like [00:28:00] five episodes and then they are abandoned because of the shininess wore off.

I would say for me, I've, this is my third podcast that I've been a host for. And then I actually freelanced a little bit as a podcast, host an engineer because I wanted to hone my skills. This was years ago. But I really love the idea of connecting with other people. I have a curiosity about others. Like what's underneath the water of your iceberg. What makes you tick? What got you, where you are today?

What lessons have you used to level up your life? What challenges have you had? Because you know, the gem thing is such a perfect analogy. We're like multifaceted gemstones. And there's so many different things about each other we never know. I have people I've worked with for years and then I'll sit down and get to know them over [00:29:00] dinner or whatever, and next thing I know I'm learning things about them I never would've guessed things that inform who they are today. Fascinating things. And I think, yeah, we're all very fascinating. Even when we think, Oh, it's just me. I have nothing special to offer. Guess what? As an individual human being, you have glorious, powerful specialness inside of you.

And even if I can just shine a little tiny bit of light on that then I, I love the opportunity to do that. So that's what keeps me from getting podcaster fatigue.

There are so many podcasts, especially over the pandemic that got started. And if people were thinking of starting a podcast, I think the biggest thing about it is find something that you're passionate about talking about enough that when the shininess wears off, you still want to have conversations about that topic.

Yes. Yes. And, and for [00:30:00] me, the pandemic experience has beenD'Ann Smith: full of opportunity because in a way that's that's that's not happened in our lifetimes, everyone has experienced trauma and it's obvious to everyone. It's not a hidden thing. It's not the normal, everybody knows they're going through trauma.

And so those of us who have something to contribute to help people deal with it, we are needed more than ever. Absolutely. And people are open more than ever to actually looking for that help. Beautiful.

I love what you do. I love what you do. It's fascinating to me and I love how it ties those stories into our vanity plates because what our vanity plates do? They tell the world how we see ourselves?

Trista, Host: Yes,

D'Ann Smith: absolutely. I just think that's, I think that's exciting.

Trista, Host: Awesome. Thank you. And I love what you're doing. I [00:31:00] think that you're giving people a real access to their power, which I'm also very committed to so good on you for the work you're doing.

If you enjoyed this episode, please drop a review and give us a share. I'm Trista Polo wishing you well on the road to your next adventure.

7 Most Likely Reasons Why Meditation is not Working For You

trista@iwokeupawesome.com (Trista Polo) — Wed, 20 Jan 2021 16:44:52 GMT

7 Most Likely Reasons Why Meditation is not Working For You

When I was young - probably pre teen - my mom was exploring her own spirituality and would bring me to these meditation events. I ALWAYS fell asleep. I really didn't get why meditation was so great. It didn't do a thing for me!

Because of that experience, I was a late adopter to meditation. Even when I began my own journey into Law of Attraction, Abraham Hicks books, exploring the Power of Now with Eckert Tolle and more, I resisted meditation.

Then I learned that meditation is really just an opportunity to quiet your mind. It's nothing more complex than that.

I have used apps and followed processes over the years, looking for the meditation technique that works best for me. At the end of this article I'll share what I have found to be most effective...but if you are reading this article, then you may be struggling to get meditation to work for you at all, as I did when I was younger.

So here are some reasons it may NOT be working:

1. Your inner voice won't Shut the F UP! It's overly active worrying, wondering, processing, problem solving. First of all this is OK! Meditation is about quieting the mind, and this takes practice. Whenever you see a thought coming in just allow it (don't resist!) and then send it on its way. The most persistent thoughts are those that don't get acknowledged (think of a little kid poking you in the arm until you reply to them).

**If you just can't get your mind to quiet try this: Write in a free flowing stream of consciousness for 5-20 minutes (the closer to 20 you can get the better but I know we're all super busy) before you meditate. Now your brain feels heard and won't bug you so much!

2. You are not creating a routine. Just like any habit, it becomes easier with time. If it's challenging for you to quiet your mind don't quit! Keep at it in a regular routine. I recommend daily for 15 minutes to start for beginners.

3. My challenge in the past - falling asleep! This could be because of posture. Sit up straight, feet flat on floor, palms facing up on your knees. If you prefer to meditate on the floor this works well too but again, sit with back straight using a pillow to prop up your butt if you need the back support.

4. Aches and pains. Depending on how lose and limber you are plus any injuries you may be dealing with, the pains can hinder your ability to sit still. Start with shorter sessions to help aleviate this. In addition, use pillows to prop up areas that may get sore from holding the position. When I meditate I have a pillow under both arms, one under my neck and one behind my lower back. I look like I'm in a pillow throne! But it keeps me in position without pain and I'm happy to have the support!

5. Boredom. If you are feeling bored it could be you resisting going inward and quieting your thoughts. Using music or sound that your brain can hold attention to can help this. Shorter sessions can assist as well. Keep in mind it is your discomfort with stillness that may be the issue. And this is something that you can transform with practice. Breathe through the boredom and it will pass.

6. Finding Time. There is a saying that if you don't have time to meditate for 20 minutes then you need 2 hours of meditation STAT! LOL For someone that doesn't meditate this sounds utterly ridiculous. But actually it makes sense. Meditation helps center, calm and bring peace to your inner self. If you don't have 20 minutes to do this daily then you are probably needing it much more than most. Always on the go - never a chance to rest - skipping on the self care - To Do List a mile long - being pulled in several directions at once - overstimulated stressed out and over worked. Do these sound like you? People with too much to do and too much on their mind have no time to meditate! But they are the ones that need it most!

7. Expecting vastly prolific insights and messages from beyond. You may get some surprising insights about yourself or issues you are struggling with during a session. Also, you may not. Meditation is not about FINDING it is about ALLOWING. Start allowing and you'll find a lot more than you bargained for.

As promised, here is something that helps me:

Insight Timer App.

You probably have it on your phone it comes standard on many. But you are also probably not using it. I use the timer itself which gives me soothing music to keep my attention and a bell to tell me how long I have been going or how much time I have left (you can set them custom). The bell helps me know where I am in the vast nothing and timelessness that meditation can remind me of. Also I will sometimes break up a session with something like: First 3 minutes, focusing on a challenge or answer I seek; Middle 10 minutes, clearing my mind and centering; Last 2 minutes, giving gratitude for all that I have. Insight Timer App also has lots of great guided meditations.

My favorite one currently is Manifest Your Unlimited Potential by Mark Guay.

Which of these most resonated with you? I'd love to hear what you have learned about how to surrender to the power of meditation.

MEDE8TR - Plate 54 - Trista's PL8STORY Podcast with Dr. Virginia Colin

trista@iwokeupawesome.com (Trista Polo) — Mon, 18 Jan 2021 09:00:03 GMT

MEDE8TR - Plate 54 with Dr. Virginia Colin from Northern VA

This week we meet Virginia L. Colin, Ph.D. is the founder of Colin Family Mediation Group LLC , a group of professional family mediators providing services throughout northern Virginia. A dedicated advocate for resolving family conflicts peacefully, outside of court, she is the co-author of The Guide to Low-Cost Divorce in Virgini a. Dr. Colin has served as President of the Academy of Professional Family Mediators and is a Mentor Mediator certified by the Supreme Court of Virginia.

Recorded episodes from Dr. Colin’s internet talk radio show are still available online. Family Matters

During her first career, as a research psychologist, Dr, Colin wrote Human Attachment .

Dr. Colin is a graduate of Swarthmore College, Columbia University, and the University of Virginia.

Connect with PL8STORY:

Trista's PL8STORY Podcast Links

Nominate a plate - https://www.pl8story.com

Meet your host - https://www.iwokeupawesome.com

Subscribe to Trista's PL8STORY Podcast on Apple Podcast (http://bit.ly/itunespl8story), Google Podcast, Spotify, Amazon Podcast, Youtube or your favorite podcast app and access all published episodes

EPISODE TRANSCRIPT:

MEDE8TR

Trista, Host: [00:00:00]Welcome to this week's episode of Trista's PL8STORY (Plate Story) Podcast. I'm Trista Polo from iwokeupawesome.com and I am your host. Each week, we learn the story behind that vanity plate. You know, the one you saw driving down the road... what did it say? What did it mean? Why did they choose it?

Welcome to this week's episode. I have Virginia Colin from the state of Virginia. Her license plate is MEDE8TR, and it uses that eight (8) in the word. And you know how much I love that.

Welcome Virginia.

Virginia Colin: Thanks. It's good to be here.

Trista, Host: It's great to have you. So why don't you tell us why you chose MEDE8TR as your plate?

Virginia Colin: I want to educate the world about family mediation.

So any little thing that I think of, that's gonna just cue people to think about mediation more than they otherwise would, I like to do . it also sort of advertises that that is the service that I offer. [00:01:00]

Trista, Host: Okay, great. So let's just share what is a mediator for those that aren't familiar with the term.

Virginia Colin: Okay. A mediator's job is to facilitate negotiations. So I work with people who have something from a disagreement to a terrible conflict with each other. And need to get something decided or settled. And I help them have the difficult conversation in as constructive a way as they are able to do.

So it involves a lot of listening, a lot of asking questions to clarify things. A lot of sometimes rephrasing what someone said, so that it's easier for the other person to hear the thought. Mostly just helping people express themselves clearly in a [00:02:00] constructive way that allows for solutions and, and help them listen well to the other person's participation in that conversation.

That sounds really super important because if you're in a negotiation and I think of mediators as being used in divorce, you definitely need to make sure the person's hearing what you're saying and not how they're interpreting what you're saying, because there's usually like so much emotion attached to things that need a mediator,

Trista, Host: right.

Virginia Colin: Yeah, there's a lot of emotion. There's sometimes a lot of fear, sometimes a lot of anger. Sometimes an awful lot of sadness you know, lots of emotions that can get in the way of being able to think towards solutions.

Trista, Host: Wow. Now you've been a mediator for how long professionally?

Virginia Colin: Since 2009, so 11 years. My mom says I was a mediator when I was a little kid, my [00:03:00] two older sisters.

I don't know. Oh, right. Okay. Yeah. Sure. So why did you become a mediator professionally?

It's the result of a friend having a really hard time with a custody battle back in 1999. He had had custody of his kids for a little more than a year and a half.

And for a little more than a year and a half, his ex-wife had been bringing another motion and another motion and another motion to get the court to reconsider that decision. She sincerely believed that the kids would be much better off with her. He sincerely believed that the kids were much better off with him. And, you know, as the judge kept deciding to leave them with the dad. But it was never settled because the mom kept finding a way to come back and raise the issue again. So there was a hearing, you know, after that they've been at this for, I don't know, 20 months, maybe, you know, 40 to [00:04:00] $45,000 worth of legal fees for my friend and, and things not resolved.

And in this hearing, the judge ordered them to do what the guardian ad litem had recommended. A guardian ad litem is the lawyer who's supposed to represent the children. And she represents not necessarily what the children want, but what in her judgment is best for them. So the judge ordered the parents to do what the guardian ad litem recommended and neither parent thought it was a good plan.

Obviously they were likely to be back in court again. So I said to my friend you know, being a Quaker, I've learned some conflict resolution skills. Would you like to try a different approach? And he said, definitely. So I asked his ex-wife and she also said yes, which was in a way, very brave of her because I was not hiding the fact that he was my friend.

[00:05:00] Right. You know, she might've expected that I was going to be somehow on his side, a mediator is supposed to be impartial. So she said, yeah, let's, let's give it a try. And it turned out to be A, it was before I had my official training as a professional mediator and B, they were so, so angry at each other, even years after their divorce. And they didn't trust each other at all.

So it was one of the most difficult mediations I've ever done. But eventually it worked, they got to an agreement that, that they could both live with. And the ex-wife wrote it up as a consent order. The parents signed it. The judge signed off on it. I'm guessing the judge was saying keeping a huge sigh of relief at that point.

Seeing them so many times, but your judge signed off on it and they never went [00:06:00] back to court. So I kind of thought maybe this is the work I'm supposed to be doing. There can't be a whole lot of people who are willing to put themselves in the middle of this kind of hostility and help people find a solution.

That's going to be way better for their kids than what they've been doing up to now. And I survived that and it came out good for the kids. So

Trista, Host: That's wonderful. Now I have to ask you said something that I wanted clarification on. You said, because you have a Quaker background, you were sort of already trained. Can you tell me what that, how that connection works?

Virginia Colin: Quakers have a long history of advocating and working for peace and. One of the things you have to do to create peace and, and maintain [00:07:00] peace is have a way to handle conflicts. So a lot of Quakers learn those skills to be able to help other people with their interpersonal difficulties.

Trista, Host: Wow. That's great. I wasn't aware of that. I'm glad I asked. Now, like I said before, having a mediator is often something you'll do instead of an attorney in a divorce. Like that's how I know mediation. Why would you choose a mediator over an attorney for something official like child custody, divorce,

et cetera.

Virginia Colin: Well, the first thing I should say is that you don't have to do either. Or if you were my client, you could have a lawyer to give you advice and still participate in mediation where I'm the one helping you and your spouse or other family member, whoever your conflict is with. You know, I'd be the one helping you talk with each other, [00:08:00] but.

You know, you certainly could talk with a lawyer outside of sessions or phone them from the session for goodness sakes, if you really need to. And they'll pick up you know, get some advice when you need it. So it's, it's possible to have the best of both worlds. Some of my clients choose not to involve, involve lawyers at all because they don't think they need them.

They understand their kids. They understand their finances there. Able to come to an agreement about what's good for the kids and what's fair. And they don't feel like they need a lawyer to weigh in on that. You know, they know their kids or a lawyer does. And why should they ask a lawyer? But other clients do want to have the the added sense of security of, you know, I ran this by my lawyer and She, she said it looks okay.

And not setting myself up for a problem two years from now for, I, I did get my full share of the pension or, you know, whatever.

Yeah. [00:09:00] Okay, great. Client's choice. So you could use both. You could

okay. People who choose mediation instead of lawyers do it because they really want to keep things peaceful and inexpensive.

You know, a lawyer's job is to advocate vigorously for what he or she thinks is best for the client or for what the client wants. One of those varying a little bit with the lawyer. But they're supposed to fight hard for what the client wants or should get. And so if you hire two lawyers, you're setting yourselves up to give people an awful lot of money to help you fight with each other.

And there is some recognition of that reality in, in, in some parts of the world, there are a lot of people who know that now. And so they look for a mediator instead of two lawyers. Yeah.

Trista, Host: It's because you use one mediator for the two people, right? Instead of two [00:10:00] mediators, correct?

Yeah, ordinarily one, we have co mediators once in a while for one reason or another, but it's one mediator with two clients, occasionally more than two clients, but usually two clients.

Virginia Colin: And that has the added advantage that you're paying one professional for every hour of progress instead of paying two professionals. Right. Progress.

Trista, Host: That makes sense. Now, just like not all attorneys are created equal. I'm assuming not all mediators are created equal. If someone's looking to choose a mediator for a divorce or something else, what would you say are good criteria to choose from?

Virginia Colin: Hmm, that's a good question that I haven't thought about for a while.

You know, there are a lot of lawyers who are lawyers who are advocating for a client 90% of the time, but now, and then they put themselves in the role of mediator. So that's like, if [00:11:00] you want to have surgery, who do you want to hire? Somebody who does surgery all the time, or a general practitioner who cuts into somebody once in a while.

I would say look at what they say about their training. Do they say anything about certification? You know, in my state Virginia, the Supreme court has and the legislature and the Supreme court had set up and follow a good system for certifying mediators. So in my state, You can look and see whether the person is certified by the Supreme court and the people who are, have had good training and they really have experienced, and they've worked with mentors and the mentor has have ultimately concluded.

This person is ready to go out on her own and help people. Not, not all States have wonderful certification programs like that. So if somebody says he's a certified mediator, find out who certified him and what are that organization's [00:12:00] requirements for certifying somebody.

Trista, Host: Yeah. That's great. That makes sense.

Let's talk about what is marriage mediation and how does it benefit?

Virginia Colin: What very often happens in a marriage is that one person gets very frustrated, very unhappy, very angry. Something is really wrong. It's really bothering one of the people enough, so they know the marriage is in trouble and the other spouse is clueless. They think everything's fine. And they go on that way for one or two or three years until the one who's frustrated, can't stand it anymore and says we got to get divorced. And at that point they call the mediator. What I want people to know is if you don't wait till things are that bad, if you call the mediator, when one of you knows this marriage is in trouble, then we can help you figure out how to fix your marriage instead of helping you figure [00:13:00] out how to divide up your assets and co-parent your kids.

So, you know, if people would get good at saying "honey really mad at you right now. But listen, you got to know if we keep going the way we're going, we're not going to be able to stand it after what we're going to have to get divorced. I don't want to get divorced. Let's work with a mediator now and fix this."

Yes.

Trista, Host: Wow. That's amazing. So that actually is an opportunity that probably most people don't even realize is an option, right?

Virginia Colin: Yeah. Most people have never heard of marriage mediation. Some people have never yet heard of divorce mediation, but hardly anyone has heard of marriage mediation. Yes.

Trista, Host: What an amazing like interim step, if you're not...,

Virginia Colin: it's, it's different from marriage counseling, you know, if you have something that, you know, gotten very heavy, [00:14:00] emotional weight and you need to talk to a therapist, then you want a marriage counselor, not a mediator.

So for example, if you recently found out that your spouse has been cheating on you and you're incredibly upset, you probably want a marriage counselor, not a marriage mediator. If your frustrations are about one being too lenient with the kids and the other being too strict, or one being a spendthrift and the other being a saver, you know, if it's choices that you make about how you handle your kids and how you handle the family's money that we can meet. We can help you talk with each other and figure out a plan that both of you can sign on to. But the heavy emotional stuff, you work with a therapist.

Trista, Host: So in other words, my husband and I have this disagreement of what is guest ready?

You know, like it's clean enough for guests to come over. That'd probably be a good marriage, mediation stuff.

[00:15:00] He will be annoyed when he hears this episode. When he hears that I said that. So that's great. Let me just ask the question because I had it in my notes and I didn't ask the question. Right. You don't have to answer it cause you already did and I'll put it later. In the right place. So mediation is usually used for divorce.

Can it ever be used for marriage now? I'm glad you mentioned the fact that it is different from therapy. And I think that that's an important distinction.

Excuse me.

So, can you give us some advice? Would it be better to start in therapy or start in mediation? If I'm trying to decide what to do to save my marriage?

I think that's a case [00:16:00] by case judgment and again, they're not mutually exclusive. You could start marriage counseling and marriage mediation at the same time.

If you thought that that made sense. If you're feeling all caught up in distressing emotions, you might reasonably decide. Let me work with a therapist first and get my feelings sorted out if possible, get myself calmed down and then. Meet with a mediator to work on. Basically you rewriting some of the rules of your marriage.

Oh, okay. I

Virginia Colin: like that marriages have rules. They're not usually. Written, but right.

Agreements, rules, right? Standards of practice. That's a good distinction. So if I'm looking to rewrite or make agreements on the standards of practice, the rules of engagement, the ways we do [00:17:00] things, then that's for mediation.

Trista, Host: And if, like you said before, if emotions are really heightened, that's a better place for therapy. All right. That makes sense. Now, there are other kinds of mediation besides marriage that you do. Can you share other ways that people could use mediation?

Virginia Colin: Yeah. The, the five family mediators in my group practice all help with any kind of important disagreement or actual conflict in a family that the family is unable to resolve on their own. So we can help with inheritance disputes. We can help with family decisions about how to take care of an elderly relative. You know, if you've got. Your older brother thinks that mom should be institutionalized.

And your older sister thinks that mom would hate [00:18:00] that it's the worst thing you could do to work. And you can't figure out on your own how you're going to come to an agreement about how to best take care of mom. Then you can involve a mediator. Sometimes family business, succession issues come up and a mediator can help with that.

We have helped some families where one or both parents and one adult child had been estranged from each other for 10 or 15 or 20 years. And now at least one of them wants to make an attempt to reach out and reconnect. We help with that. How parents are gonna handle their teenagers. We help with that.

Wow, how teenagers are going to tolerate their parents

Trista, Host: rules and standards of practice conversations in there. Right. So really,

Virginia Colin: Almost any kind of family problem that doesn't involve a dangerous [00:19:00] level of violence. You know, anything that could be talked through and worked out a mediator can help you have the really hard conversations to have.

Trista, Host: That's wonderful. I mean, what a nice tool to have for the stuff that we tend to just deal with the best we can. And I think that the way a family is raised, the relationships they have, when these things come up can really impact how well they can manage it and how strong the relationships are when the managing of it is over.

So the mediation can actually save the family relationships while they're going through really difficult things and decisions and next steps. That's awesome. Yeah, it is. But now you're not just a mediator.

You wrote a book on that has to do with divorce.

Virginia Colin: I did. I wrote the guide to low-cost divorce in [00:20:00] Virginia. I have.

So the people who are actually watching this can see there it is. Oh, awesome. It's a small book. But it tells you, it has a lot of information about taking care of yourself and taking care of your kids during the transition time and information about what records together, information about how to approach your soon to be ex spouse to, you know, avoid causing unnecessary problems and, you know, keep things on as constructive basis as you can. And then it tells you how the laws work for divorce in Virginia. Like how do you decide what's what's marital property that belongs to both of you and what separate property that belongs to only one of you and doesn't have to be divided. And how do you make decisions about spousal support?

How do you make decisions about child support? You know, kind of [00:21:00] what are, what, what does the law require? What does the law allow? And then within that framework, how are you going to decide what's

Trista, Host: fair. Okay. So it's sort of a divorce DIY for the statements.

Virginia Colin: It really is. It's I wrote it for people who want to handle their divorces mostly as a do it yourself project and people, some people can do that, not everyone, but some people can do that.

Trista, Host: Yeah. So you could do it without attorneys. You can. Yeah. Wow.

Virginia Colin: Actually, my book that I've been taking credit for here is only half my book. The other half belongs to Rebecca Martin. And she wrote the first book in the series, which was how to get divorced for free in California.

Well,I did use a lot of her material about gathering records and not making your spouse mad over something that's not that [00:22:00] important. And what do you do when your preschooler is, you know, acting out and, and clearly being affected by the emotions of the moment and probably needs a therapist?

What on earth do you do? You know, so I took a lot of her material about how you live through it, but then took out all the stuff about the legal steps in California, put in the information about the legal steps in Virginia.

Trista, Host: That's great. So you are also a dog mom, is that right? I am.

Virginia Colin: Yeah. Yeah. I have two dogs who are my own and from time to time, we have one or more puppies in foster care.

Trista, Host: Oh, now when you say puppies, are you saying that affectionately or are you actually foster tiny puppies?

Actually tiny puppies. I had five tiny puppies in my house for a couple of weeks in August. And next weekend I'm getting three more.

That's exciting. And puppies [00:23:00] are adorable, but there are a lot of work. So we've done some fostering.

We actually, I never knew about fostering. I didn't even know it was a thing people did, but my dog, Bella, she was fostered. I didn't even know this was something that people did until I learned about it through adopting Bella. And it's quite a community, the fostering community.

We did it for a while as a way to give back and pay forward. What had been done for our dog. Unfortunately, Bella is adverse to other dogs getting affection. Oh, and a lot of foster situations they really need didn't know that people love them to get them acclimated to humans so they can be part of a family.

So it didn't work for us to foster, unfortunately, but we did it for a while and we loved doing it. Tell us about your experience fostering puppies.

Virginia Colin: Well, when I did one at a time, each one was [00:24:00] different from the last one. You know, there was one who climbed all over everything on the back porch the first day he got there. There was one who on arrival already seemed to know something about potty training and couldn't find the right place on the porch so it climbed up on a big pot we had with dirt in it for plants to grow and pooped in there, which I thought was, you know, very advanced.

Trista, Host: Yes, I would agree.

Virginia Colin: You know, some of them are really shy. Some of them are really bouncy. Some of them play. Altogether too aggressively because that could be dangerous with my dog.

And so then I have to keep them separated. And some of them are very timid. But having five at the same time was a new experience. Hey, they were much smaller, you know, cause they were, they were only six weeks old when I got them and they were, it was a small breed mix. So [00:25:00] maybe the size of kittens or maybe, maybe small cats.

But they were adorable and they all suck everything together. Like, they'd get a tug of war toy and there'd be four different dogs pulling on it at the same time or they chase each other or climb up on the blocks that I gave them so that they would have something interesting to do or, you know, grab a newspaper and treat it like a tug of war toy and shred it, but, you know, and then they'd all sleep at the same time and I'll get up and eat at the same time. And, you know, they had their cycle that they went through and they were convenient.

Yeah. Well, yeah, they'd been together their whole lives. So my guess that's just the way it works.

Trista, Host: That's awesome.

Virginia Colin: And it's kind of for the benefit of our dogs, not just for the benefit of whoever's going to adopt the new dogs, because our [00:26:00] dogs are young enough that it's good for them to have somebody who get them to play, but old enough, so they don't spontaneously just play with each other a lot.

So it's, it's fun for them to have new puppy in the house from time to

time. That's nice. I think that's great. You know, there's so many reasons why people foster and I think that all the ones that you mentioned as the reasons why you do it are probably very common. So I appreciate you sharing a little bit about fostering and you shine the light on two very cool topics today.

Trista, Host: Fostering dogs and mediation and all the benefits of it. So that's great. So I always like to turn the tables before we wrap up and give you an opportunity to ask me one question. So what's one question you have for me.

Virginia Colin: Can you think of a time in your [00:27:00] life when there was an important disagreement with someone that was really hard to resolve and somebody acted as your mediator and helped you figure it out?

That's a great question. Trista, Host: I do really try to be the kind of person that leaves every relationship and every communication whole, without that anger and upset and, and misunderstanding. I tend to be the person in the middle helping resolve as opposed to needing that support. But I know more about mediation I know that that's actually a service service, a a really great resource to have.

Virginia Colin: I want to mention that all I do is family mediation, but professional mediators help with a lot of other kinds of situations, workplace conflicts, landlord, [00:28:00] tenant disputes, civil suits.

You know there are other mediators who help with those kinds of things. And they're also really is a lot of informal mediation that goes on in the world. People who don't have professional training, but they noticed that two of the friends in their circle are really having huge problem with each other and it's affecting the rest of the group and they don't want this to keep on going.

So they try to serve as mediator between the two people who are fighting with each other. And sometimes, you know, just a good friend can do that successfully.

Trista, Host: Yeah, for sure.

You know, some folks need a pro, but not everybody.

Well, it's nice to know that mediation is available for all sorts of opportunities to resolve something.

I think that we often feel like we've just got to figure it out on our own and maybe we're going to get a good resolution and maybe we're not, but by having a third party involved, you can really have a [00:29:00] perspective that's bigger than the two people. And I think that's really crucial.

Virginia Colin: Yeah. A lot of people muddle through things that they could get a little help with.

Hmm, I guess I haven't really mentioned it before now, but another thing that happens in mediation is that people become creative. They think of new ideas that neither of them had thought of before. Right.

And, you know, work things out.

Trista, Host: Well, it's good, really amazing Virginia, getting to know you and learning about the story behind your license plate MEDE8TR, and a lot of really wonderful gems came out of just asking you what's the story behind your plate.

So I really appreciate you sharing everything you shared today.

Virginia Colin: Well, it's been fun. Thanks for inviting me.

Trista, Host: Thank you for joining us for this week's episode of Trista's PL8STORY podcast. Please subscribe to Trista's PL8STORY podcast to get the story behind all those vanity plates, driving with you on the road. And if you would [00:30:00] like to nominate the owner of a license plate, including you... Or visit any of our partners and sponsors come and see us www.pl8story.com. That's P L number eight story.com and give us the details.

If you enjoyed this episode, please drop a review and give us a share. I'm Trista Polo wishing you well on the road to your next adventure.

NDEVOR - Plate 53 - Trista's PL8STORY Podcast with Brandi Cambric

trista@iwokeupawesome.com (Trista Polo) — Mon, 11 Jan 2021 13:23:52 GMT

NDEVOR - Plate 53 with Brandi Cambric of Houston, TX

This week we meet Brandi Cambric of Houston, TX. Brandi is the Chief Operations Officer of The Joseph Consulting Firm, LLC. She is responsible for the daily operations of the firm, and pushes the firm’s vision and strategy. She coaches clients in management and leadership, and also creates logistic and retail build-outs strategies for clients. She also creates logos and websites that capture the client’s vision. You can check out Brandi and the rest of the team at www.josephconsultingfirm.com. Brandi holds both a Bachelor's and Master's degree in Business Management from Prairie View A&M University. In her spare time, she enjoys reading suspense and horror novels, spending time with her daughter, and an occasional trip to the gun range. When she's not doing any of that, Brandi works as a Store Manager at Tumi. Let’s meet Brandi and learn the story behind her vanity plate, NDEVOR.

Connect with Brandi:

https://www.facebook.com/brandi.cambric/

https://www.instagram.com/brandicambric/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/brandicambric/

LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram: @brandicambric and @josephconsultingfirm; Twitter: @Endeavor1922 and @JosephConsult_

Connect with PL8STORY:

Trista's PL8STORY Podcast Links

Nominate a plate - https://www.pl8story.com

Meet your host - https://www.iwokeupawesome.com

Subscribe to Trista's PL8STORY Podcast on Apple Podcast (http://bit.ly/itunespl8story), Google Podcast, Spotify or your favorite podcast app and access all published episodes

Episode Transcript available at www.iwokeupawesome.com blog post

EPISODE TRANSCRIPT:

NDEVOR

[00:00:00]Trista, Host: Welcome to this week's episode of Trista's PL8STORY (Plate Story) Podcast. I'm Trista Polo from iwokeupawesome.com and I am your host. Each week, we learn the story behind that vanity plate. You know, the one you saw driving down the road... what did it say? What did it mean? Why did they choose it?

Welcome. I'm excited today to have Brandi Cambric with us from Houston, Texas. Welcome Brandi.

Brandi Cambric: Hi, thank you for having me.

Yes, I'm excited. Now your license plate NDEVOR. It's actually N D E V O R. Correct. And that's a Texas plate. Can you tell us the story behind why you chose it?

So that is, it goes back to my sorority.

So I am a member of Sigma Gamma Rho sorority incorporated. It's one of the nine black Greek letter organizations. We comprise the national Panhellenic council. So NDEVOR is actually the name that was given to me by the young lady who was taking me [00:01:00] through the process to join my sorority. So the way the process works is we as a group, we come in and we go through a, I guess for lack of a better phrase, a vetting process to make sure that at the time we have the grades, the GPA the, the community service, just what they're looking for for the organization and the group of us, we come together, we're on a line or a class, and then each of us based on our personalities, our behaviors, the attributes that we display going through the process.

Our leader, for lack of a better phrase, she gives us a name at the end of our process and my name was Endeavor.

That's awesome. So do you know why that was the name you were given

The way she explained it was that no matter what task she gave us the way she said it, I endeavored to make sure that it was completed.

So I did whatever was necessary, rallying to keep the team together, to get it done and make sure it was done properly.

Trista, Host: Wow. That's a good name. [00:02:00] Yeah. When you got the name and the reason behind it didn't resonate with you, did you see like where she was coming from?

Brandi Cambric: To be honest, no because at the time I'm like, what, 21? 22 years old. So I'm thinking I'm going to get like some edgy name or some kind of like really cool name. And she gave me that and I'm like, okay,

I really didn't get it at first. But the more like even after we became members and I got my letters and we joined the org It kind of, yeah, I could see it. I could see what she was saying because once we went through, it was me and I had three other lines sisters. So we had a very small line, but once we became members, we set out on an ambitious plan, like we said, okay, we're going to complete every national project that the sorority has in one school year.

And we did it. And we said, no matter what, like if we had classes, tests, projects, whatever, we worked [00:03:00] around it to get it done. So through that, I'm like, okay, Now I see it. I see why she said that. And even to this day, I still see why she said that. And then fill the name does now resonate with me.

Trista, Host: That's awesome. I was just actually going to look it up. So endeavor is to attempt something by exertion of effort, to strive, to achieve or reach.

To work with set purpose. Yes. So how do you see that in yourself today? How does that translate into who you are today as a professional? And

Brandi Cambric: are you a mom? I am a mom.

Trista, Host: Yes.

Brandi Cambric: Yes. Wow. And so many did like, just as a mom. I was a single parent, so it was, it was tough. Cause I'm a single parent and then I'm working 40, 50, 60 hours a week. I worked in retail. So I had a lot of that going on, so trying to make sure that I'm getting stuff done, to be able to take care of [00:04:00] her and then also be able to spend time with her because he got to the point where I'm so focused on making sure I'm providing for her, that I was living at work.

So it's like, okay, I had to stop, sit down and make a plan. Figure out that as they say, in retail, that work life balance. To get that done. And then even at work, I, I set a plan. I list out everything I need to do, and I strategically go through that and make it happen. And then again, even in my personal life, or so for example, back in, I want to say it was 2000, 2014.

Towards the end of the year, I came down with some mysterious illness that crippled me. Couldn't walk, couldn't use my hands. Yeah, they bedridden... lost my job, all of that. So it, it kind of catapulted me into a bit of a depression. But where that, that the endeavor comes in. It, it, it, I felt sorry for myself for a minute, but then I was like, okay, you know what?

We're going to make some good use of this time. I'm down. I can't do anything. I can't go anywhere. So [00:05:00] that led me to contact my school. So I went to Prairie view a and M university. So I reached out to them, explained my situation. I told them I wanted to get back to school to finish my degree. So I started that they, they made exceptions for me to allow me to do it all online because there were aspects where I was supposed to have to go to the campus.

But again, considering my situation couldn't drive, couldn't walk, couldn't do any of that. So they may, they made concessions for me. And I was able to go back to school online. And push through and it was tough. Cause once I got physically and medically better, I was able to go back to work, but then it's work.

And then at the time I was really ambitious and took 18 hours. So I pushed through that and got my bachelor's in 18. Just went back again, finished and got my master's. I actually just graduated with my master's.

Trista, Host: Congratulations. So

Brandi Cambric: it still resonates with me to this day in every [00:06:00] aspect of my life.

Trista, Host: Yeah, absolutely. Now, what is your master's in, what did you go back to school for?

Brandi Cambric: Business administration. Okay,

Trista, Host: awesome. And how are you using that now? Professionally? You've started your own business

Brandi Cambric: actually. I'm still in retail and

Trista, Host: Oh, you're still in retail. Yes. So you're still endeavoring.

You are in retail, you're still a mom and now you've started a business, right? Oh my goodness. That's awesome. So you're doing it all. So tell me about your business.

Brandi Cambric: So it's called the Joseph consulting firm. It was the brainchild of my best friend of 30 years. Her name is Candice. So it was her baby, her brainchild, but we got together and it's basically a consult is a one-stop shop for your everyday business entrepreneur.

So we work with, we, we, we will help like your big firm people that are established, but then we also want to help the ones who like I have this great idea for a plan or a business. I have no idea [00:07:00] where to start. Okay, cool. Not a problem. Come with to us. We can help you with your business plan. We can help you getting your LLC established and getting that registered marketing, social media, retail all of that.

So we have stylist on our team who can help you with makeup, clothing design. We have audio visual people who can do your website for you and your marketing and commercials. We have business coaches, just people to help teach you what you need to know to get through it and everything in between.

Trista, Host: So that's pretty impressive. You went from not having a business to creating a business with teams of people in all different modalities to help as that one-stop shop.

Brandi Cambric: Yes. How

Trista, Host: did you structure that so that you could make sure you had everything you needed, but also not stretch yourself too thin as a new business resource wise?

Right? It's it's, it's tough. I can honestly say that is something that both Candice and I [00:08:00] struggle with because like me, she also has a full-time job. So it's juggling our full-time jobs with the firm to make sure that we can first and foremost market ourselves. So people know we exist. So we've done that, gotten it out there, but then once the name is out there and we started getting clients coming in, making sure that we make time for the clients.

Brandi Cambric: So we can sit down with them. And like this past year with COVID of course that changed how everybody did business. So we did a lot of virtual meetings. There was a lot of meeting in restaurants, in parking lots in wherever we could just to accommodate our clients. And then truthfully to just really get our name out there this entire year, everything we had done was free of charge.

We didn't charge anybody, anything. Oh, my goodness. Yeah. We didn't charge anyone at all this entire year. Because I mean, and I, I know you've seen it like with COVID hitting, there was so many entrepreneurs coming out of the woodwork. Like people you've found out that people could, [00:09:00] sew you never knew could sew. And people can do hair and people making t-shirts and folks cooking. And it's like, wait a minute. I didn't even know you could do that.

Trista, Host: Yes, so right.

And then it seems, it was like, even those people surprised themselves. Cause they were like, Oh wait a minute. I'm actually kind of good at this.

Brandi Cambric: So maybe I want this to be my business. So those were the people we were looking to and trying to help. And those are the people we still help to this day. And we work with.

Trista, Host: Now, you've had you know, nine plus months. Yes of doing this during this pandemic. How is that going to translate to your plans for 2021?

Brandi Cambric: Now that I have the masters, all of all that is, and all I'm looking at it is it's giving me more information, more knowledge that I can use to improve my performance at work. So I can better understand just the dynamic of managing a team. Like you have to be able to manage a team and learn personalities and try to get people to vibe together. [00:10:00] And that's definitely the case in retail, but even more so. And I'm learning even that transitions over to here at the firm, because it started out with four of us, four or five of us, and we knew each other.

So it's, it's, it's me. And it's my best friend, Candice. And it's her brother. He's our audio visual guy, Greg. but we all knew each other. And then that was Sharita. There was Osha, we all knew each other. But then, as we, as our name got out there, the, the services we started needing to be offered, expanded.

So then we had to bring on more people. So now we have people that none of us know, and we have to learn their, personality and how we can all work together. So that's the plan is I'm going to continue to use my degree, what I've learned. And to help the team here because that's going to like, for example, that's my area of expertise is HR managing teams, stuff like that.

So I'm just going to use that to help, to continue to grow the firm. And then just continue to work with my team in my full-time [00:11:00] job as well.

Trista, Host: Wow. That's awesome.

Now, are you going to continue to offer those free services for new entrepreneurs? Or how are you guys adjusting that? Because this is going to go out. You're talking about offering free services. I mean, you're going to get a lot of phone calls.

Let's set the record straight on

Brandi Cambric: that

Let's talk about that right now. We are in talks about that. Ironically, we have been discussing that like, okay, what are we going to do? How are we going to change that up? So it may be something where it's a promotion, like a two for one type service or three for one, or a buy two services, get one free, that type of thing.

So that's what we have to figure out cause at the same time we still realize we're still in the midst of this pandemic.

And there are still a lot of people who are not working and don't have any source of income or the money they do have. They have to hold on to it just to live. So we understand that and we're very cognizant of that. So there [00:12:00] may be depending on it, honestly, I can honestly say it will be a case by case basis.

Truthfully, it'll turn into like a scholarship program, probably like that. Right.

Trista, Host: Oh, wow. That's awesome. I love how you're really looking outside the box because that's what entrepreneurs need to be able to do.

Exactly. You need to have right. Best practices, structures, processes in place, but you've also gotta be able to pivot really well.

And if the pandemic has taught us nothing, it has taught us that if we can move and change with grace, through anything, even if we're not sure what, that we'll probably end up ahead of the game.

And then, you know, when it all,

Brandi Cambric: we're trying to help people learn how to pivot, because a lot of people a lot of people don't, and that was something that I've discovered through out this year. And then with us being in the firm and helping people is change scares a lot of people and it kind of sometimes [00:13:00] it is weird for some people change is that catalyst that they need to challenge themselves to move forward and see if they can get through it. But then for other people change sets their feet and cement it and they can't move forward. They can't break free is like they shut down. So that's what we want to do. We want to help them understand how to pivot and change and not let that change scare you so much that you don't do anything.

Trista, Host: Yeah. It's like that fight flight or freeze. I think that comes into place for sure. Now I have to ask you a question .

How have you been able to have an entire team of people working for free for a year and still be in business? How have you made that magic happen? Because it's a huge contribution, but I mean, you guys got to eat.

Brandi Cambric: Well and see that's where the thing is first and foremost, everyone on the team has full-time job. So they have jobs outside of the firm. [00:14:00] And then the other part is we honestly were just upfront with everybody, like, okay, Hey, so this is what we want to do. Your talent we need as part of this team. We can't pay you right now, but the way you make money with us is for every client that you bring in that's for you. Whatever payment is whatever payment services they need from you. When you offer that's on you, you set up your structure because quite a few of our team members actually have their own businesses as well.

So we have a team it's it's, it's like, we're a team, but it's a team of CEOs. So, and we have people who have style businesses, hair, makeup, artists, music, t-shirts. So it's a little bit of everything. So everyone is cool with they honestly, we didn't have any issues. Once we were up, like I said, we were upfront and told them, this is what it is. This is what we're doing. This is how you get paid. And once we did that, everybody was fine with it.

Trista, Host: That's awesome. You did it in communication. You are straight up with people from the beginning. [00:15:00] No surprises. So when they said yes, they knew what they were saying yes to, and it wasn't any place for like animosity or annoyance or disappointment.

That's huge. Yeah. That's huge.

Brandi Cambric: That's the key point? It's just like a relationship. Communication is a big thing.

Trista, Host: Yes. Oh my goodness. Yes. Now I gotta ask, because you said that you, a couple of times you said that you started the business with your BFF, that you've been friends forever. Candace. Yeah. So what made you guys decide that you would be a good fit to be in business and take that friendship to a new level?

We...Candace and I I have an unusual friendship. Like we're not, if you look, if you would see us together and hear us interacting, you wouldn't think, wow, you're best friends. Brandi Cambric: For me and Candace it, we connected in sixth grade. Quite by happenstance. We realized that we literally had every class [00:16:00] together.

Because we were looking at our schedule, then we go on from class to class and we'd walk in like the first-class we walked in and was like, Hey, how are you? Hey, and then the bell rang. We went to the next class and I walked in and she was sitting there. I was like, Hey, we got two classes together.

And then we went to the third class. I'm like, wait a minute. What's going on here? So we sat down and we looked at our schedules and sure enough, sixth grade year we had all of our classes together. We thought. Seventh grade exact same thing. Really? We didn't request it. We didn't plan it that way. It just happened.

Yeah. We just kind of gravitated toward each other. Cause I was your stereotypical nerd and the big Coke bottle glasses or the pigtails. I will, I was straight A's and everything. I was that kid that cried if she got a B I was that kid. Yeah. And Candice was to me, like, and we've talked about it. Like, to me, [00:17:00] she was like the, the ambassador of the school, because the the middle school we went to, was it a neighborhood that she lived in?

Like, I got bussed in because I was in the magnet program. So I wasn't familiar with that neighborhood. I wasn't part of that neighborhood, but she was, so everybody knew her and I'm like, okay, she's kinda popular. I'm like, I'm a nerd. And then she kinda like, she gravitated towards me and she was like, you're cool.

Like really. Cause it's kinda like, wow, the prom queen thinks that I'm cool. And I'm a nerd. So

that doesn't happen.

Trista, Host: We,

Brandi Cambric: We, we just, it was natural. It was, it was natural. And we hung out. We stuck together through middle school. We physically got separated the four years in high school because again, she went to the high school in her neighborhood and I went to the high school and the neighborhood that I lived in.

But we still kept in touch. So I was still going to her house and hanging out and she was coming to my house and we were going to movies and stuff like that. College, we went, we both went [00:18:00] to college together, same school. We were suite mates and then we pledged together. So we were sorority sisters.

She is my daughter's godmother. So is, is like every facet of our life is

Trista, Host: every say's. Yeah.

Brandi Cambric: Yeah. She's been there with me through the bad times and the good times, and I've been there with her and for her, and it just seems natural. Like we we're, for me, she's the sister I never had because I'm the only girl.

So she's the sister I never had an, I trust her with my life and I'm just another sister for her because she has sisters. And she trusts me with hers.

Trista, Host: Now that I know your relationship and how it progressed, I wouldn't even have bothered asking that

Brandi Cambric: question. A lot of people, they don't realize they're like we keep saying like 30 years, some folks think we're exaggerating.

I'm like, no, we really meant 1996 grade Ryan middle school. That's where this started.

Trista, Host: Wow. That's awesome. It's so great that you have that kind of relationship [00:19:00] in your lives for each other. And it's clear that what you chose to do as your business is to make a difference for other people.

Yeah. And I love that. That's, that's how you're expressing your friendship out in the world.

Brandi Cambric: Yeah.

Trista, Host: That's awesome. So you are A I noticed on your license plate that you have a Dallas cowboy frame.

Brandi Cambric: I am a football fan. Anybody that's familiar with football and follows it back in the eighties and nineties with Houston, we did have a football team. We had the Houston Oilers. It was during the love your blue days. So we had Warren moon and I was about to say refrigerator period, but it's not refrigerated Perry.

It was Oh my God. His name was on the tip of my tongue, but yeah, we had those guys, so avid football fan back then, plus it did, it helped that my mom at the time worked she worked at, AT&T and her boss would always give us tickets [00:20:00] to go to the games. And we got to get to sit up in the suites in the box seats.

So we are, my mom took us to it, me and my younger brother to every game. So we're sitting up there, stuffing ourselves with hotdogs and popcorn and sodas. And we were watching the football game. So fast forward a few years the Oilers left Houston I believe it was Bum Phillips. He took them out and they went to, if I remember correctly is what they went to Tennessee.

So at that time we didn't have a football team. So the only Texas football teams were the Oilers and the Cowboys. So like most everybody else in Houston, we gravitated towards the Cowboys. So you became a Cowboys fan and that's where I stayed.

And then we got the Texans. And everybody was like, well, Brandi, you should have became a Texasn fan when they came back. I was

Trista, Host: like, no. Cause see to me

Brandi Cambric: that being a bandwagon fan, like I'm a diehard Cowboys fan. By this time we had been with the Cowboys. Has it been our team for, I think about 10 years or so.

So I'm like, I got 10 years in the Cowboys fan game. Like, no, [00:21:00] I'm not leaving my boys. And I'm diehard. I said you saw the license plate frame on the front.

I have the floor floormates inside. I have the sticker that goes across the windshield. I have the,

I am true Cowboys fan.

That's awesome.Trista, Host: Now I want to talk to you a little bit about being a single mom. I was raised by a single mom as well, so I have quite an affection for parents that have to figure it out, do it on your own no matter what, how was that for you?

Brandi Cambric: Okay. So

Trista, Host: because your daughter's older now, right? She's is she in college?

Brandi Cambric: She just turned 19 this past November. So she's 19. Still trying to figure out what she wants to major in because she's kind of all over the place.

So right now it's a toss up between architecture, following me into business and then culinary arts. So that's

Trista, Host: where the diverse choice,

Brandi Cambric: but she likes all of them. She just doesn't know which way to [00:22:00] go. But raising hers so.. Is the funny story.

I had no clue I was pregnant, so it's when I tell the story, I tell folks, like, I remember it, like it was yesterday. I was at work. It was like a Friday afternoon. I was at work. I'm having really bad stomach pains. So I'm like, okay, maybe I ate something wrong or I drank something and it's just food poisoning.

That was my thought that was food poisoning. So my boss came in to close that night and like I'm at the register on doubled over in pain. Like I can't even stand up straight. And she was like, okay, go home. So she sent me home, I get home and I let my mom know and I'm curled up on the couch. I'm like in pain, I'm sweating.

I'm like, I don't know what it is. She's like, okay. I don't like this. We're going to the ER. So we go to the ER that Friday night they stay, they take me, pay blood, do urine, all that good stuff. They come back with a diagnosis. You have a UTI. [00:23:00] So they gave me medication for that and give me some Vicodin for the pain.

And they sent me home .Like five, six o'clock the next day. So it was a Saturday morning. Now pain is still intense. We don't know what's going on. The pain pills aren't working, nothing's working. So then my mom's like, okay, we're going back. So here we go back to the ER and they're like, all right, well, let's figure this out.

We're going to get you in. We're going to do an examination. We're going to check your pelvis, find out what's happened. So they get me in the room. And the doctor starts pressing on my stomach. You know, when they're doing the pelvic, he's pressing on my stomach and then he's like, okay, well, let me, we're going to check, see what's going on down there.

I'm like, okay, cool. And they get me in position and he steps back and he looks down at the floor and he looks at me and then he kind of raises the sheets, looks down there and he drops the sheet, walks out the room.

That's not a

Trista, Host: good sign.

Brandi Cambric: Now bear in mind, I'm like 21 years [00:24:00] old. I don't know what's happening. So the next thing he sends a nurse back in there, she comes to the room, goes to the phone, it's up on the wall, pushes some numbers. We need a room at L and D STAT. She hangs up the phone, nobody's saying anything to me. So I'm like, what? And she looked at me like, I just suddenly sprouted two heads.

And she was like, are you serious? Well, yeah, I don't know. What's L and D? She's like it's labor and delivery. I was

Trista, Host: like,

wait a minute. Why? Because you're pregnant. And I'm like no I'm not. And we're going back and forth and back and forth. And I'm like, no, no, no, I'm not pregnant. She's like, well, what makes you say that? I'm like, I don't look pregnant. Do I look pregnant to you? She was like, well, no, you don't. I said see. There you go. Nope. They rolled me upstairs. And a few hours later here comes five pounds, seven ounce Briana.

Brandi Cambric: Yeah.

[00:25:00] Trista, Host: Do they know how far along you were?

They said I was full term. You

were full term and she was only five pounds. And you had no idea?

Brandi Cambric: No.

Trista, Host: Goodness.

And that's of course then it starts the third degree with all the doctors and the nurses. Okay, well, why didn't you get prenatal care? I didn't know I was pregnant. So why would I get prenatal care? Brandi Cambric: I didn't have the strange cravings that I always hear pregnant women talk about. I didn't have the morning sickness. I didn't have, like, I know I heard with pregnant women, like they get sensitive to smells and certain smells will make them sick. I didn't have any of that.

Didn't show didn't gain weight. Didn't nothing, nothing. So it

Trista, Host: was a mystery.

Brandi Cambric: Yes, we have no clue. The only

Trista, Host: thing,

Brandi Cambric: the only way the doctor that delivered her, he was like, the only thing I can think of is that you just kept her sleep the entire nine months, because you were so active, you never slowed down. [00:26:00]

And then he was like, she rode high in my stomach. So that would probably be the reason why I didn't show because she rode up high, like right under my breasts. So I'm like, okay. And he was like, that's probably why she never kicked and never did anything. And I was like, Oh, so are you telling me I got a baby now?

You're like, yeah, she is

Trista, Host: any time to get used to the idea to prep diapers at home.

Brandi Cambric: And

Trista, Host: you lived at home with your mom at the time?

Brandi Cambric: Yeah. Yeah. Cause I had by that time I had I I'd actually already withdrawn from school my first go round because my mom had been sick. So I withdrew from school and moved back to Houston to take care of her.

So we were, we had, we got a house, but we were living together. So she was better by then she gotten better. But then again, I just wasn't at the point to be able to go back to school and they insure, so my

Trista, Host: gosh,

and they were like, I was. I was my [00:27:00] room that weekend was a revolving door. Like if people were in and out, because everybody had heard about it in the hospital, by the time I had her, everybody in the hospital from different floors from ER, I'm like everybody was coming in and asking questions, like, how did you not know?

Brandi Cambric: I'm

Trista, Host: like,

no, didn't know. And then I think they discharged us. No, they kept us cause they wanted to make, because she was so small, they just wanted to make sure. So they ran a lot of tests made sure she was okay. Brandi Cambric: They were gonna discharge does that Monday because I had him that Saturday night and they were going to discharge us on Monday.

So the nurse came in and she was like, okay, mom, we got our baby ready and we're ready to let you guys go. And I was like, okay, cool. I haven't packed up my stuff and I'm holding out my arms for her to give me the baby. And she's holding her. She is, she's looking around. I was like, what? She said, where's your car seat.

I was like, I don't have one. She's like mom, I'm like, yes. She said, yeah, legally we can't let [00:28:00] you leave the hospital without a car seat to put the baby

Trista, Host: again. Like when did you think I was going to Walmart? Exactly. Like I've been sitting here the whole time.

Brandi Cambric: Oh, Oh, okay. And like I'm like, and I looked at my mom, I'm like mama she's like, Brandi, just give me a bank card.

And cause where the hospital we were in, there was a babies R us right down the street. She was like, just give me your bank card and I'll go get the stuff. I was like, okay, so she had to go buy a stroller car seat, diaper bag clothes. Like literally everything. I don't

Trista, Host: even have a baby shower for people to give you all the stuff you'd need.

Nope.

Brandi Cambric: I had no clue. And then once I got home, it was letting my family know. And nobody believed me. None of, none of my family believed me because we had just had a family reunion in. So I had her in November. We had just had a family reunion in [00:29:00] September.

Trista, Host: They didn't believe that you didn't know, or they didn't believe that you had had a baby.

They

Brandi Cambric: didn't believe I had a baby.

Trista, Host: Oh, that's right. That's right. Straight As. Right. I forgot.

Brandi Cambric: I didn't the good girl and

Trista, Host: all Candace's fault. Right. Cause she introduced you to the fun crap.

Brandi Cambric: My mom did not want me and Candace to be friends.

In the beginning, she just swore up and down. Candace was going to have me on the road to Robyn Beck and stealing cars and all of that crazy. But none of my family, and like I said, I had her in November, in September, we'd had a family reunion, so, you know, it's Texas, it's hot. So I'm in short shorts. I got a little t-shirt on, I don't look like I'm pregnant.

So when I started telling the family, nobody believed me. And then my house became a revolving door [00:30:00] because then everybody was like, okay, we got to come see this. So everybody started coming through and then it was like, Oh my God, you had a baby. Well, that's what I've been trying to tell you. So it was, it was interesting.

It wasn't, I can honestly say it wasn't too difficult because before Brianna came along, I actually had been taking care of a niece and a nephew at different points when they were babies. So it started when they were babies. So I was used to the 2 and 3:00 AM feedings and not sleeping through the night.

Yeah. And dirty diapers and feeding and teething and temper to the terrible twos and was used to all of that. So by the time I have Briana, I was like, it's a surprise. Let me get past the surprise, but I just jumped right into it. And because I was used to it and everybody was like, well, no, no, no, it's different.

I said, no, the only difference is now it's my child I'm taking care of. And I can't send it to nobody at the end of the day, when I'm sick of her [00:31:00] cry, like I have to deal with her next to me, but it was, it w it was trying, it was trying, I can honestly say that because I really got to see. Like I even told my mom, cause there's three of me, three of me, three of us, I have it's me.

And then I have a younger brother and an older brother and my mom raised three of us. And I had to tell him, like, I don't know how you did that with three kids. I'm like one is, is giving me the blooms. Because then you have to learn about, I had to learn about schools and shots and what she had to have and what she couldn't have, and then understand like, as she grew learning how she learned and understanding how she comprehended things and trying to help her and the personality.

And yeah, it was, it was, it was a lesson in patience. So I still say it to this day. I give much. Much credit and props to people who have multiple children and they do it on their own because I don't [00:32:00] know how, I don't know how they do it, but it's she, we, we got through it together. We had a few hiccups along the way, but for the most part we did well.

She was, she for the most part, she's the spitting image of me. This looks just like me act like me school she's into it. I mean, some of her likes and interests are different. Like, I don't understand why you're into that. It makes no sense, but. Other than that. It was amazing. It's awesome.

Trista, Host: Wow. That's awesome.

Brandi Cambric: Yeah they kept wanting me to change her name to either Miracle or Blessing. And I'm like, yeah, no, we're not doing, we're not doing that. No, she's going to have a normal name. I'm not setting her up to be ridiculed and bullied.

But I can honestly say I enjoyed it. I really did.

Yeah. Oh, that's awesome. Trista, Host: So I want to just talk about one more thing before we wrap up, which is just any advice that you have, you know, you've been working with [00:33:00] entrepreneurs. New people who didn't ever plan to be entrepreneurs, but have sort of had to figure out how to make money, because it's been a very weird year.

We got this new year, 2021. What wisdom can you impart?

Brandi Cambric: One thing I've learned a lot in dealing with entrepreneurs is they have a tendency to wait until it's perfect. Like the timing is perfect. The plan is perfect. Everything is perfect. If you wait for everything to be perfect, you will never get started. Start that's all I can say is just start it and you can figure it out as you go.

You can perfect it as you go. Because we didn't w things weren't ideal for us when we started, like, we didn't have an idea of a team and what we were going to do and how we were going to do. We just had the, the blueprint, we kind of had a skeleton and then we went from there. So that's my advice.

I can just say, just be patient be fair and don't be scared.

And definitely don't wait for perfection because there's no such thing. [00:34:00] None of us are perfect.

Trista, Host: That's for sure. That is for sure. Awesome. Thank you for sharing some advice and wisdom for people like that.

Anything else, any final words that you want to say about anything we've talked about or anything we didn't talk about?

Brandi Cambric: I enjoyed this. I can honestly say I thoroughly enjoyed this. I'm just. I think like a lot of people I'm looking forward to 2021 and hoping that, cause I know at the beginning of 2020, everyone was, everybody was like 2020 is my year. This is going to be a great year. We're going to do, that'd be awesome.

And then COVID it.

Trista, Host: And then it's like, yeah, you aren't leaving.

Brandi Cambric: You're not going anywhere. Yeah. We gotta, we have to find our small successes and we have to celebrate no matter how big, no matter how small. So even what, like with us here at the farm, we didn't think it, but we have a suite, we have a suite of offices.

We never thought we would do that, but we did it during, COVID not charging people for anything. So

Trista, Host: it's amazing.

[00:35:00] All inspiring. So don't out. Just, I would encourage everybody to go into 2021. With the same enthusiasm and high spirits and, and good, good mojo that we were. Can we came into 2020 with just, just go there.

Brandi Cambric: We know it's been a tough year, but it's going to get better. It's going to get better. I am a firm believer in that it will get better.

Trista, Host: Yeah. And I'm going to just underline something that you said and tease it out a little bit, which was. You got to really be willing to look at your small wins and take credit for every win, no matter how big or how small cause it's the wins that get us the confidence to keep going.

When we feel like, is it worth it? So I would say if, if this is something I'll add in, if you haven't done this yet, take stock of everything you've [00:36:00] accomplished in 2020, it's probably more than you realize. And that includes your resilience. That includes your willingness to do things that were uncomfortable.

Awesome. Well, I always like to turn the tables before we wrap up and ask you, if you have a question you'd like to ask me. So do you have a question you'd like to ask?

Brandi Cambric: Nothing to ask, but I will say that I love your energy. Like it is, it is amazing. It's contagious and I think your energy and your enthusiasm is what made me so comfortable and at ease.

So I can honestly say, but that's the truth. I can honestly say you made this like this, this is only my second. Well, if you count our pre-interview, this is only my third time doing this. So you made it effortless, like it's, it was actually fun. I actually enjoyed it. So I know questions for you, but just the comment and compliment.

Thank you [00:37:00] for making it on an effortless and enjoyable.

Ah, that's so sweet. My pleasure. Trista, Host: I really appreciate you saying that. You know, what's really funny that you say that is that when we were talking this whole way through this conversation, and we're just laughing and having a great time, I'm like, this is all your energy.

Like you are just so open and sweet and happy that I'm just having such a blast. I'm laughing all the way through.

So what you're seeing in me is me reflecting back at you. So that's my compliment right back at ya.

Have so enjoyed our conversation Brandi, thank you so much for being on

Brandi Cambric: Oh, no problem at all. I hope you continue to stay safe.

Trista, Host: You, you too. Have a great

Brandi Cambric: day.

Trista, Host: All right, bye.

Thank you for joining us for this week's episode of Trista's PL8STORY podcast. Please subscribe to [00:38:00] Trista's PL8STORY podcast to get the story behind all those vanity plates, driving with you on the road. And if you would like to nominate the owner of a license plate, including you... Or visit any of our partners and sponsors come and see us www.pl8story.com. That's P L number eight story.com and give us the details.

If you enjoyed this episode, please drop a review and give us a share. I'm Trista Polo wishing you well on the road to your next adventure.

MILKMOM - Trista's PL8STORY Podcast - Plate 52 - Punam V. Sexna of Atlanta GA

trista@iwokeupawesome.com (Trista Polo) — Mon, 04 Jan 2021 09:30:01 GMT

Meet Puntam V. Sexna of Atlanta GA

MILKMOM - Plate 52

This week we meet Punam V. Saxena of Atlanta GA. Punam holds a Bachelor's degree in Psychology and a Master's in Education. She is a mother of 4 college-aged children. She taught for 10 years and then spent 20 years volunteering in her children's school in their classrooms and working with their administrators. She has implemented several processes that have benefited many children at the school. Punam is currently the host of the podcast edu-Me which focuses on bridging the gap and fostering a stronger relationship between parents and schools by empowering parents to become partners in the school. Punam is currently an author in the making writing an education book and a children's book.

Connect with Punam:

https://www.edu-Me.net

https://www.instagram.com/theedume

https://www.facebook.com/theedume

https://www.twitter.com/edume19

Trista's PL8STORY Podcast Links

Nominate a plate - https://www.pl8story.com

Meet your host - https://www.iwokeupawesome.com

Subscribe to Trista's PL8STORY Podcast on Apple Podcast (http://bit.ly/itunespl8story), Google Podcast, Spotify or your favorite podcast app and access all published episodes

Episode Transcript:

[00:00:00]Trista, Host: [00:00:00] Welcome to this week's episode of Trista's PL8STORY (Plate Story) Podcast. I'm Trista Polo from iwokeupawesome.com and I am your host. Each week, we learn the story behind that vanity plate. You know, the one you saw driving down the road... what did it say? What did it mean? Why did they choose it? Welcome. I'm so excited for this week's episode. The plate is MILKMOM and my guest is Punam Saxena from Georgia and I just love why you chose this plate? Welcome, punam.

Punam Saxena: [00:00:33] Thank you so much Trista. I'm so excited to be here.

Trista, Host: [00:00:37] Yes.

I'm excited to have you now tell us about, well, first I want to make it a little caveat just for full disclosure. This is a past plate that you had and you actually retired it. And we're going to talk about that, but when you chose this plate and had it for many, many years, what's the story behind it.

Punam Saxena: [00:00:57] So I have four children [00:01:00] and they are four and a half years apart. My last two were twins and I'm sleep deprived. I'm exhausted. And in the middle of the night, I literally rolled over and slapped my husband and said, guess what? And he thought that I had some brilliant thing to share with him. And my brilliant thing to share was that our children's initials spelled M I L K.

He did not find that asex citing as I did. And so he went back to sleep, but I might awake God, this is fantastic. So that's how I became MILK

Trista, Host: [00:01:44] MOM

mom. I just have to say, I love that. I love with when things you know, spell other things. I had a phone number for a really long time and I never realized it. But it actually spelled out G O D [00:02:00] P H O N.

Punam Saxena: [00:02:02] Oh wow.

Trista, Host: [00:02:03] And the way we found out this was a long time ago, we were coming home from dinner and there was a message on our answering machine. And a guy had clearly smoked a lot of weed and decided to call God. And so he picked up his phone and spelled out GOD PHONE and proceeded to leave this message on our machine.

Like, God, it's me, I'm calling God's phone. It was just like so funny. So I just always love when things spell out other things. And so I love that you chose that for your place. So

Punam Saxena: [00:02:40] I have to ask now, did you call him back?

Trista, Host: [00:02:46] No, he didn't leave a number in this was way before caller ID. So we had no way to call him back, but we still have the number.

I'm not willing to give it up. We're not using it right now, but I [00:03:00] have it like parked. Cause I do not want to give up God phone.

Punam Saxena: [00:03:04] I wouldn't either. And you never know you might need it too.

Trista, Host: [00:03:08] That's right. Exactly. So you are a mom. And you were a very busy mom clearly. So tell me a little about your life and your job as a mom, as your kids were growing up.

Punam Saxena: [00:03:23] My children, like I said are four and a half years apart. And prior to that, I was in education. I followed the footsteps of both of my parents. My father is a professor, our retired professor, and my mother's sort of retired teacher. And I thought, what better way to spend time with all of these little guys than to in a band, be a teacher.

Sure. But when my oldest came along, I didn't want to go back to work. I thought, gosh, how do you manage work and school and family and husband and all the challenges and [00:04:00] responsibilities you have. Thankfully, I was able to stay home with the first one. And then by the time I thought about going back, our second one came along and I'm like, okay, definitely not going back.

And then of course we had twins, so I had four, four, and under. And that that was just not going to happen. So then I became the lead parent in our family. My husband did have his own engineering company with his father and he ran it. There was a lot of responsibility that he shouldered during that time.

And we needed a parent who could be flexible if one of them got sick or needed to be taken to the doctor. So that's how that role I evolved. But when I was teaching, what I realized was I was in a special education classroom and I didn't have any parent involvement. [00:05:00] Parents did not walk through our doors of the school or the classroom.

Because they felt like, well, it's the school's responsibility. We don't really need to worry about it when in fact they did need to worry about it because it was their child's future. So when my children started school, I ended up volunteering and trying to be that parent. Without being the parent that when you walk through the door, the administration rolls their eyes and goes, she's back.

Trista, Host: [00:05:36] It's a good balance. You've got to

Punam Saxena: [00:05:37] have. Right. Good balance. And it's also something that you have to be conscientious of. You can't just willy nilly walk in. You have to be able to converse in the right way. And I equated to building a relationship without building a relationship you [00:06:00] have nothing. So if you meet someone at a restaurant or let's say at a party or a bar, but none of us are doing any of that.

But when we did. You'd never walked up to someone and said, I want this and you need to do this. But parents do that. When they talk about going into their schools and talking to their teachers and administrators, that's not really the way to do it. So I wanted to be that liaison between parents and the schools to kind of help facilitate those dialogues.

And so many times I had parents come up to me throughout my 18 year career of doing this and ask me, how do you know this stuff? Well, one, I have a degree in education, so I had some idea of what's going on. Even though they change it every 5 seconds, but that's a different conversation, but [00:07:00] it was really about building relationships and getting to a place where they trusted me and I trusted them.

And when we knew that we had the student's best interest at heart, everything else fell into place

Trista, Host: [00:07:16] and

Punam Saxena: [00:07:18] that's kind of how it's evolved. Yeah into what I do now.

Trista, Host: [00:07:23] Yeah. And I want to talk about what you do now. But first I'd love to hear about the reaction to your license plate. So tell me a little about that.

Punam Saxena: [00:07:33] So MILKMOM, you know, kind of denotes many things. Right. And we lived in Florida at the time, which was one of the dairy capitals of the world, unbeknownst to me but I would get a lot of questions of, do you work in dairy?

No. Are you a lactation specialist?

Trista, Host: [00:07:56] Oh, wow. Yeah.

Punam Saxena: [00:07:58] Ah, no. [00:08:00] Do I look like I would be good at that? Mm nah, that's not me. And then when I explained it to them, they're like, Oh, now I get it. But my brother-in-law had a elementary middle and high school friend. And he and I had never met. So I'm driving around and this friend, his name's John, and he's pulls up behind my car, but I'm not driving it. So he pulls around thinking who on earth would have a car that says MILKMOM. Pulls around, looks at the driver and it's my husband.

And thankfully my husband and my brother-in-law look very similar. So he texts my brother-in-law and says, Jay, why is your brother driving a car that says [00:09:00] MILKMOM? So Jay explains it. I still had not met this person. This has been going on for like six years. That every time he saw my car, he would take a picture and say, guess who I just saw. So I'm thinking this guy's a stalker, like I've never met him. I had no idea. So about six or seven years later, we finally meet in person. And it was, it was because our children ended up at the same high school and he comes up to me and he goes, How are you doing MILKMOM I'm like, are you my stalker?

No one else knows this story in the, in the meeting that we're sitting in and they all go, John's your stalker. And I'm like, let me tell you what John has been doing to me for the last several years. So we get a huge kick out of that. John's a fantastic guy. I mean, he really is. He's got a great sense of humor.

But it just goes to [00:10:00] show you how your plate impacts someone else without even knowing it.

Trista, Host: [00:10:08] Well, your plate also really positively impacted parents in the parking lot as well. Can you talk a little about that?

Punam Saxena: [00:10:16] So I had a friend and I'm talking when the recession hit. So 2008, 2009, everyone was kind of working on it, what their finances were going to look like. Even though we all save for the rainy day, all of a sudden we have this rainy day and we're all getting quite anxious.

And one of my friends ended up having to go back to work. She was a stay at home mom and her husband was a realtor and, you know, real estate, wasn't going well at that time. So she ended up going back into the workforce, but. When she saw me several months after she started working, we met at [00:11:00] some school event and I said, so how are you doing, going back to work?

How are you managing? And she said, the most calming thing that I can tell you is that when I pull through the parking lot and I see MILKMOM sitting in the parking lot, I know my child is okay. And at that moment, I realized that it wasn't just what the tag said. It was the meaning that it had created over so many years.

And absolutely that was very humbling, especially in a recession when we're all trying to figure everything out. It's a very, it was a very different time in all of our lives. So that's the story I've kept with me all of these years, because I had never realized what my plate meant to somebody else.

Trista, Host: [00:11:59] Well, and I would [00:12:00] say the plate really was not what it meant to her. It was, you. The plate, just let her know you were there. And so it was really what your being there, what your contribution, everything you were up to that you've shared, you know, your role as a parent with a background in education in the system meant to her.

And I think that's a really important lesson is we have no idea how our actions impact other people. I used to when I had a very low self worth for a long time. And I used to think to myself, well, what's the point? Why do I even need to show up? It's not going to make any difference whether I'm there or not.

And I think a lot of people think that, well, what's the point? Should I even show up? I'm tired, I'm busy, I'm stressed. I got my own problems. They'll figure it out. They don't need me, but I think what you're pointing to is we have no idea what kind of impact [00:13:00] we can make when we do show up. And so I really make a point to show up because I know it makes a difference.

And that's exactly what you were doing. And now you're really teaching that to other parents. So let's talk about what you're doing now.

Your kids are grown, so you're no longer a stay at home mom. They can take care of themselves. What are you doing now to really positively impact education and parents and kids?

Punam Saxena: [00:13:29] You're right. They're all out of the house. And somehow they're still all still home

and we're happy to have them. We really are, you know, it's very lonely to be an empty nester to go from a hundred miles an hour for so, so many years to, huh? I don't really have to get up tomorrow at any particular time. I don't have to be anywhere. So, you know, I had been doing as per se, so [00:14:00] many years I felt kind of lost. And I kept telling my husband the few, few years before the kids were leaving, I said, I am not doing any, anything in education.

I have done this. I have lived it. This has been my life. You know, I'm a creative, let me do something else. Like, let me figure something else out. I stayed in that unknown place for about six months. I just decided I'm not going to allow myself to think I'm going to keep focused on just enjoying day to day life.

And then I got bored. I had to do something and I was talking to a friend of mine as I was passing through her city. She and I just had an impromptu lunch. And I was telling her about this book I wanted to write, you know, I wanted to write about the things I'd done in the schools, how it impacted me, how it can impact you.

And she's the mother of two young people. And she said, I don't have time [00:15:00] to read the book, but I had time to listen to a podcast because I'm in my car all the time. And I thought, well, I don't know that I can do that. And like you, I suffered from low self worth that I didn't think I could speak to other people, although I can speak to anyone, but you put a mic in front of me and I start to freeze. and then you think about all the people who might be listening.

And you're like, Oh, I don't know about this, but the more I thought about it, I thought, why not? It combines my love, my two loves education and talking.

Trista, Host: [00:15:37] That's awesome. So what is the name of your podcast and what kinds of things do you discuss?

Punam Saxena: [00:15:43] So EDU M E is focused on bridging the gap and fostering a stronger relationship between parents and schools. And we do that by empowering parents with tools that they need to feel like they can be, be a partner in their child's school.

[00:16:00] If we can break down the things that parents feel are challenges for them being a parent. First and foremost, and then helping them understand how the education system works, how they can build a relationship with their teachers and faculty and administrators. Then we can actually elevate the level of education overall.

And not only do we elevate it for ourselves and for our children, we also do it for the other children. I always told my children that they were fine because I knew that I knew the teachers well enough that they would call me. And they did, even through high school, I would get phone calls from the high school teachers, if there was an issue.

And a lot of it was not academic. It was a change in behavior. They were tired or they were [00:17:00] not able to perform that day. Did something happen? It was being able to. Had that confidence and that relationship that we can converse. So our goal is to break all of those barriers down because I can tell you that if I can do it, anybody can.

And it's really about creating that positive environment. And my children always knew that I had their back. Even if I agreed with the teacher, I could support them. And there were many times that I would text my children's first teachers in high school that starts at 7:00 AM for a high school kid and say, good luck. They are Oscar, the grouch this morning. I wish you much luck in first period. And I would get a text back at the end of first period and they would go, Oh, they were great. So, [00:18:00] so I want to share those stories and those opportunities that not only I had, but other parents and professionals have. So we talk with administrators and teachers because we're, we're really in it all together.

And I want to make sure that parents feel like they can walk through that door and not feel like they're on the outside. I want them to feel like they, they have as much knowledge than anyone else.

Trista, Host: [00:18:30] Yeah. Like they're part of the conversation.

Punam Saxena: [00:18:32] I look at education as a pie. That's cut into three parts and the first part is. The education, the bureaucracy, the federal local state governments, and even the schools, they dictate what our children are taught, how they're taught and when they're taught.

The second piece of that pie is the students, because they're the recipients of all of [00:19:00] the first part of the pie.

The third part of that pie is parents. They can be the, they should be... and they are the liaison between the schools and the students, and then the children and the schools, kids don't understand all the bureaucratic paperwork and tests and all that, that they are being told they have to do. And the markers they have to meet.

So if we can, as parents help them understand that, then that makes it less stressful for the children. And conversely, if we can, like I was sharing earlier, we can have a conversation with our teachers and go, Hey, Susie's having a really rough morning today. And the teacher's able to have that in her bank.

When Susie walks through the door, [00:20:00] then maybe the teacher's going to cut her some Slack and go, you know what mom said? She had a bad morning. Let's just say, let's go Pat her on the back and say, it's going to be okay. You don't, I've got, I've got you covered for today. There's a lot of mystique and anxiety that we can take off our teachers and administrators and our children if we are partners in our children's education.

Trista, Host: [00:20:30] So I love what you're saying, because that's actually the word I was thinking: partnership. I think having parents really involved in the conversation more then hands off does make a huge difference.

And it's the parents' choice to be able to figure out how to do that. You know, we're all using every hour and every minute of our 24 hours as it is, and parents have a lot on their plate, but it doesn't sound like you're talking about huge [00:21:00] time commitments. It sounds more like you're talking about building relationships, being in communication.

Creating a connection between you and the teacher so that the conversation goes both ways, even more than just like the parent teacher conferences and the stuff that's set up by the administration for you to communicate. And I really, really love that. I'd love to hear how have you adjusted the kinds of things you're talking about this year of remote schooling, homeschooling the parents being in charge.

Of the kids making sure that they're logged in and that they're, I mean, the parents are so much more involved, but not voluntarily. So, so what has been, what have you tweaked, or what have you advised or what advice have you been giving in this environment? Because it's so unique.

Punam Saxena: [00:21:53] It is unique and I feel that this pandemic has given us a new [00:22:00] understanding of what teachers have to go through on a day-to-day basis, because parents are now in charge of ensuring that the kids are logged on and they're completing their assignments. And I've heard so many parents go, wow, teachers need a million dollars a year to do what they do. Well, it's true.

Teachers are the most underpaid and overworked sector of the working force that we have. And I don't think that things would have changed had we not been in this pandemic, the mindset would not have changed in this particular time. The advice that I'm giving to parents is to just be kind to yourself because.

If you're not an educator, this is foreign to you. You, you have, you've been thrown into a new profession that you did not [00:23:00] even understand prior to this pandemic. So you have to give yourself some grace and the by-product of that is that your children need some grace because as anxious as we are, that we need to provide that information to them.

Kids have no idea how to manage all the, the unknowns that they're facing, the social, the emotional, the academic, they they're missing that. And that's an important part of growth and development that they're missing. So we have to be very aware that our children are facing a much more steep climb than we are.

And we're, if we're going crazy, just think about them. They can't get in the car. Many of them who are under 16 are not getting in cars, going anywhere, they're just sitting. So it's hard for them. So we have to understand [00:24:00] that. The other thing that we have to understand is the teachers have a totally different role in teaching.

Now they are now the facilitators. So my son is a middle school teacher in Charlotte and they're online. So his role is not only to teach the academic part of it, but he teaches in an underprivileged school. So things are, are magnified. We're looking at, are the kids getting fed? Do they have the supervision? Are they safe?

Because so many children in that population come to school for those reasons. And they're, they're not getting that now. So there's a lot that we are grappling with in the education system. My hope is that we can be in a situation very quickly where our children can get what they need to develop [00:25:00] appropriately because social and emotional development is going to be lagging. If we can't get them back into some kind of a social environment.

Trista, Host: [00:25:12] Yeah, this generation of kids in school right now, it's going to be a very different thing to navigate. I completely agree with that. Now you said that you did the podcast because your audience is like, I don't have time to read a book, but you are writing a book as well, right?

Punam Saxena: [00:25:29] You know, you never, you never give up on that pipe dream. So for about 10 years, I've been wanting to write a book and you know, I've started one and I've left it and I'd write a page and I'd throw it away. I'm like, Oh, that's crap. I don't want to write that. But then. What I did was I took the weekly webinars that I had been doing and we're pivoting for 2021.

So the weekly webinars are going away, but I took those webinars and I took the [00:26:00] information from them. And I actually started to write the book. So the book is actually complete. I am waiting on the epilogue to be written, and then it is ready to press go, which I'm very excited about.

Trista, Host: [00:26:14] Awesome.

Congratulations. So you're going to have a new book in 2021. When does it come out? I'm

Punam Saxena: [00:26:20] hoping in January. That is my goal.

Trista, Host: [00:26:24] That's great. And what is the title of the book and who is your audience for the book?

Punam Saxena: [00:26:30] The name of the book is "Parent Power." and it talks about all kinds of things from volunteering to self-care to being the good parent at a soccer. Let me rephrase that to being a good sport. And it's not about the kids being a good sport. It's about the parents being a good sport.

So we talk about all facets of Parenthood and th the audience is really anyone who just wants practical information. [00:27:00] This is, this is stuff that I've learned and fumbled and tumbled through and my life, and I've learned from other people. So. Yeah, it's just practical information. It's not a very dense book.

It's a very conversational book because I'm a very conversational person. And, and I feel like when we get dense, it had those dense, deep dive that it's harder to get parents to read those books, especially when they're busy.

Trista, Host: [00:27:32] Yeah, absolutely. So that's great. We will have a link to your website and your podcast in the show notes so people can access it.

So you also have a Facebook group and do you have a lot of great resources there as well? How do people find that.

Punam Saxena: [00:27:50] It's a Facebook. You just go onto Facebook and search the EDU ME and I pop right up and you can join [00:28:00] us. And the Facebook group is primarily to let you know what's going on, what we're doing in the community.

When a new episode comes out, when we're doing, we're going to pivot to modules. And of course, if you have a question or you have an idea or you want to share something that is the easiest place to get me.

Trista, Host: [00:28:26] Great. And so it's probably a wonderful community for parents to be in a community of other parents wanting to be proactive as well.

Punam Saxena: [00:28:33] Yes. Yes, absolutely.

Trista, Host: [00:28:36] Awesome. Wow. That's so great. I love all the work you're doing and it's super important, especially now because people are really, I think top, I don't have kids, but I'm talking to a lot of parents and a lot of teachers and it seems like every school district is doing things differently and managing this whole homeschooling remote being in person [00:29:00] differently. So that makes me think nobody knows the actual right answer and we're figuring it out as we go along. And so to have someone like you, who's offering resources and practical, easy to implement steps to make it easier for everybody to manage this whole thing.

Whether you're in a regular school year or not, I guess, new normal school there. It makes it easier to navigate. So thank you so much for all the work that you're doing. That's awesome.

Punam Saxena: [00:29:32] Well, thank you. Thank you. And, and I will add that even if our children are in school or they're remote, it can change on a dime.

They can send them back to school. My son's school has been trying to go back since October and every two weeks, you know, they're saying, okay, kids are coming back to school. Teachers are coming back to school and then we get to that D day and they have to [00:30:00] retract it. So it's a very volatile, unknown, revolving door that we're living in right now.

And, and we can make it easier if, and we can make it easier by realizing that there are other people who are living it. And trust me, I have four in college right now, and it is a revolving door for them as well. So it doesn't change just at the school level.

Trista, Host: [00:30:26] Sure. Absolutely. Well, I want to thank you so much for being on today and sharing not only your plate story, but your passion and what you're doing to contribute to the world through education and being an informed and, and participatory parent.

So I always like to turn the tables. See if you have a question you'd like to ask me before we wrap up. So do you have a question for me?

Punam Saxena: [00:30:48] I do. I would like to know what your favorite holiday traditions.

Trista, Host: [00:30:54] Hmm. So I will tell you that I, I moved [00:31:00] around a lot as a kid and the one constant in my life was that every year at Thanksgiving, We would go to my grandparents house in the Catskills in New York and everybody would come.

They had lots of kids and grandkids and cousins that would all show up. And my father's family is Jewish. So there would be rugelach on the table and she would be making, you know Turkey, but also spare ribs and just everybody had stories that they would share. There was so much fun and love and family, and now it has been a long time. I'm happy to say my grandparents were super young when they got married and had kids. And my parents were super young when they got married and had me.

So I am actually about to be 50 and I still have one grandparent left, which is pretty impressive. Wow. And both [00:32:00] my parents, which I'm really, really grateful for, but my one grandmother that's alive. She was the one who hosted Thanksgiving. And of course she's not able to do that anymore. She's almost 90 now.

So I've had to reframe what tradition means to me because for the first few years, After Thanksgiving was canceled, I was mourning it. I was really grieving the loss of this one thing that through a tumultuous childhood where I never had a longstanding friendship, home, school, I had Thanksgiving.

Punam Saxena: [00:32:43] Right.

And

Trista, Host: [00:32:44] so what I've come to really be grateful for instead of the tradition is the relationships that I have in my family. So my current favorite tradition is really [00:33:00] fostering the strength between the family relationships.

Punam Saxena: [00:33:06] I love that. That is fantastic. Yeah.

Trista, Host: [00:33:11] I think,

Punam Saxena: [00:33:12] I think that we get so caught up in the holiday part of it that we forget what its purposes. And I love that you have found the pur the real purpose of what the holidays are about.

'cause that's really, it it's, you know, we spend an inordinate amount of time trying to do all of these other things that society deems that we should be doing. And yet the ultimate goal is to spend time with family. And so I love that you, you keep that so close to your heart.

Trista, Host: [00:33:54] Yeah. You know, it takes a lot of work because everybody's busy and everybody has their own stuff going on.

[00:34:00] And. So I'm not perfect at it, but I really do always have that be a priority.

Punam Saxena: [00:34:09] I think when you value it, it becomes a priority.

Trista, Host: [00:34:12] Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Well, I want to thank you so much for being on today. I just really love everything that you shared.

It brought some things. Very important things to light that might be overlooked by busy people who are doing their best and maybe don't know what they don't know that they could be doing. You just shined a light right on that. And I really appreciate that and really enjoyed our conversation.

Thank

Punam Saxena: [00:34:39] you so much. It's been a true honor to speak with you

Trista, Host: [00:34:41] today. Awesome. Yes. Thank you. happy new year.

Punam Saxena: [00:34:45] Same to you. I wish you only the best in 2021. And maybe we'll get to leave our homes.

Trista, Host: [00:34:54] One can only hope. Thank you for joining us for this week's episode of Trista's [00:35:00] PL8STORY podcast. Please subscribe to Trista's PL8STORY podcast to get the story behind all those vanity plates, driving with you on the road. And if you would like to nominate the owner of a license plate, including you... Or visit any of our partners and sponsors come and see us www.pl8story.com. That's P L number eight story.com and give us the details.

If you enjoyed this episode, please drop a review and give us a share. I'm Trista Polo wishing you well on the road to your next adventure.

MRACE MRS ACE - Plate 51 - Trista's PL8STORY Podcast featuring Tracy Brinkmann

trista@iwokeupawesome.com (Trista Polo) — Mon, 28 Dec 2020 13:17:09 GMT

MRACE MRS ACE - Plate 51 - Trista's PL8STORY Podcast featuring Tracy Brinkmann

Access the episode here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/plate-51-mrace-mrs-ace/id1496517747

This week we meet Tracy Brinkmann. Tracy went from hitting rock bottom of drugs, divorce, bankruptcy and even the death of an 18 month old daughter to running his own marketing company helping small business owners be SEEN. He now hosts his own podcast focused on Driven Dark Horse Entrepreneurs. Tracy Brinkmann is also a business & success coach that realizes life isn’t fair and participation awards do not feed your family (or your drive to succeed)… This Driven Dark Horse Entrepreneur is looking to share all that he has learned and is still learning about starting, restarting, kick starting and stepping up your entrepreneurial game all while not ignoring that amazing tool between your ears!

Connect with Tracy:

Website: DarkHorseSchooling.com

Top Ranked Dark Horse Entrepreneur Podcast: on Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dark-horse-entrepreneur/id1524384950

Others: https://darkhorseschooling.libsyn.com/

Dark Horse Tribe FB Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/744876339606320/

Dark Horse Entrepreneur FB page: https://www.facebook.com/Dark-Horse-Entrepreneur-114626753653097

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tracybrinkmann/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/darkhorseschooling/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tracybrinkmann/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/TracyBrinkmann

Twitter: https://twitter.com/DarkHorseEntre1

Trista's PL8STORY Podcast Links

Nominate a plate - https://www.pl8story.com

Meet your host - https://www.iwokeupawesome.com

Subscribe to Trista's PL8STORY Podcast on Apple Podcast (http://bit.ly/itunespl8story), Google Podcast, Spotify or your favorite podcast app and access all published episodes

Episode Transcript available at www.iwokeupawesome.com blog post

Transcripts for MRACE MRS ACE Episode

Trista, Host: [00:00:00] [00:00:00]Welcome to this week's episode of Trista's PL8STORY (Plate Story) Podcast. I'm Trista Polo from iwokeupawesome.com and I am your host. Each week, we learn the story behind that vanity plate. You know, the one you saw driving down the road... what did it say? What did it mean? Why did they choose it?

Welcome. I'm super excited to have the owner of MRACE license plate we're with Tracy Brinkmann . Welcome Tracy.

Tracy Brinkmann: [00:00:27] Well, thank you so much for having me.

Trista, Host: [00:00:29] Yeah, it's great to have you. I'm excited now tell us your plate story. Let's start there.

Tracy Brinkmann: [00:00:35] It's really cool. Obviously the, the MRACE could mean so many things, but for me, it aludes to my love for the the rock band KISS and the really cool story behind it was I was dating the lady that is now my wife, and one of our first big dates was a, a KISS concert. She found out I was a huge fan. She found tickets that were going to be in my [00:01:00] hometown.

And which makes that even more important is the fact that.... when we first met, we met online and I lived in Cincinnati, Ohio, and she lived outside of San Francisco. So we were always traveling to see each other. And she found this concert coming my town and she bought the tickets unbeknownst to me.

And then, you know, we went there, she did the whole, she bought the whole experience where we got to go behind the scenes and meet the band. They did a, it was, it was a really cool experience and it happened to be right around my birthday, which was in August. So it was a birthday present at the same time. So it was phenomenal.

And while we were sitting there between the band, there was an opening act and we were waiting for KISS to come on up on the side screens. They showed an advertisement for the KISS Chapel. And we, we were joking around. I said, you know, if I ever get married again, I have to get married there. And we ended up getting married at the KISS Chapel just a couple of years later.

[00:02:00] And it was, it was a blast. So when we when we moved up here to Wisconsin and we found out how... how reasonably priced vanity plates were. I was like, I've always wanted to have a vanity plate that I toyed with either CCC, which would have been trey-cs right. My name is Tracy. Oh

Trista, Host: [00:02:21] yeah.

Tracy Brinkmann: [00:02:22] Or MRACE, right?

And se goes, well, if you getMRACEs, I'll get MRS ACE and it was like, Oh, okay. That was kind of. You know made that happen at that point. So we went and got those and we wear them proudly.

Trista, Host: [00:02:35] That's awesome. Now I do have some questions. So was your now wife, what's her first name?

Tracy Brinkmann: [00:02:42] Diane.

Trista, Host: [00:02:42] Diane. So was she a KISS fan too when she got these tickets or did you kind of turn her on to KISS?

Tracy Brinkmann: [00:02:49] Well, she's been a fan. She's not as diehard a fan as I am. But she's definitely a metal head like I am, which is one of the great things we clicked about. I mean, we, we, that's how we, our [00:03:00] families spends our summers were obviously not this past summer in 2020, but we've always spent our summers traveling around to different concerts and going to the festivals and enjoying the music of the of their big headliners, but all the up and coming bands as well. So she was a KISS fan, but now she's even more of a KISS fan.

Trista, Host: [00:03:20] Yes. That's awesome. So how long had you guys been dating when she got you this experience? Because that's a pretty major present.

Tracy Brinkmann: [00:03:28] It was a pretty major present we've been dating, I would say... I use the term dating from the time we first met face-to-face we had been chatting for a long time online, and I say a long time, it was probably close to a year. And we had our first official date in Vegas. We both flew into Vegas and we met there, you know, spent the weekend, you know, getting to know each other and what have you, and kind of a, made it official that weekend.

And so this would have been [00:04:00] five ish months later. So it wasn't a long time afterwards.

Trista, Host: [00:04:04] Well, obviously that was a pretty good trip to Vegas, then

Tracy Brinkmann: [00:04:08] it was a very good trip to Vegas. Absolutely. Right. It was a good time. Very good.

Trista, Host: [00:04:12] Now my biggest question is you have got to explain in detail about what it is like to get married at the KISS Chapel.

Tracy Brinkmann: [00:04:22] It was, you know, if you're, if you're any kind of a, a KISS fan, it is the place to go because, and I actually have become friends, online friends with the lady that owns it. She's the the, actually the founder of Monster Mini Golf. And in her, in her theme is different in a number of different places.

So at the it's currently at the Rio in Las Vegas is inside the casino is the KISS Monster Mini Golf. And then they also have an event center. And part of the event center is of course, you know, you can get married there. [00:05:00] And then a part of those options, you can have a regular minister. You can have the KISS mini minister, which is literally a small person, dressed up like Gene Simmons - the demon from KISS, the one who sticks his tongue out for those that don't know them very well. Or you can have this guy who makes a living as a Gene Simmons, impersonator as a demon impersonator. He actually does one of the shows in Vegas. I think it's the Eighties rock show or one of the rock and roll shows where he plays Gene Simmons in that show as well.

So this is what he does for a career. And he's also an ordainted minister and we like, we're gone, we're going full out, right? So we've got the Gene Simmons impersonator to be our minister. And you, you get to pick your incoming in music and you're coming out and music, what it is. We, we chose "War Machine".

Okay. And I think it was "Never Going to Let You Go" was one of Paul's songs, but "War Machine" [00:06:00] was the coming out. And funny story behind that is it was like Diane, I was picking all these love songs for the coming in. Right. And so she let me do that. And I said, well, what song would you really like?

What's your favorite song? She was like, well, it's really not a wedding song, but it's like "War Machine". And I'm like, Let's do it. It's our wedding, right? Let's, it's all about us. And what was really cool about it. They give you these invitations that look like concert tickets, and you get to customize them with, you know, they customize them with your name and everything.

And we chose to get married. We were getting married in 2017, so we did seven, seven, 17. Oddly enough, my birthday is eight eight. Her birthday is 1111. So it just made sense to do seven seven. Right. And so, you know, we did everything that when we sent the invitations out, I wrote up a little email and you know a letter to go with it.

That was all about someone being invited to a concert. You know, it was an event for folks to come out. You know, it was [00:07:00] a pretty small attendance. I say, small. I have, you know, we have a very small knit a group of friends, there was probably 40 people there, you know, it's nice, tight little Knippa group of folks that came in, you know, save

Trista, Host: [00:07:12] for a Vegas wedding.

That's pretty large,

Tracy Brinkmann: [00:07:15] usually Vegas

Trista, Host: [00:07:17] nobody's there

Tracy Brinkmann: [00:07:19] and I actually had expected less people to show, you know, we, we probably invited 50. Thinking 20 or 30 would show. And so we were very happy with that. One of the cool add-on to the story, and I'm hoping I'm not giving away one of your questions later on was as we were going through all the planning, I thought, how cool would it be to have one of the actual members be there. Right? And so we reached, we reached out to the folks there and said, Hey, would it be possible to get an I first thought about, you know Jean or Paul? And of course you could get them. However, there is like this price tag that was actually going to be like twice the wedding. And I'm like, [00:08:00] okay, let's not go there.

I said, well, what about Tommy? Who's the, now the guitarist, he replaced Ace Freely and or Eric Stinger. Who's the drummer and Eric Singer has got a great story. I mean, he's been a drummer in so many bands. He's one of those what do they call them? Hired guns. Oh, yeah. So if anyone's, if anyone's ever watched that hired gun documentary on Netflix, you'll, he's a part of that.

And he played a long time in his own band, but he's played, you know, as a drummer for a number of bands, probably the most notable, other than KISS is Alice Cooper. Right. And so for anybody who knows, Alice Cooper only hires the best to come on out of the road with them. So and, and Eric's been doing their drummers since I think the late nineties, early two thousands. And so they said, Oh yeah, we could get Eric, Eric, you know, lives in LA. He actually has friends.. And he frequently comes to Las Vegas, you know? And the price was like, [00:09:00] Oh my God. So you would like really? I could get him really good. Come on in there. And they said, yeah, he'll come on in.

You know, he'll, he's even willing to be the ring bearer and he'll hang out, you know, he'll, he'll, he'll sign some autographs. He said he put it out for 30 minutes or so. Eric was just the coolest guy, very down to earth. He's a, he's a Midwestern guy, so I can totally relate, but he ended up hanging out for about an hour and a half.

He was going to be going out with some rock and roll buddies who were like hanging out in the wings. He's like, I'm like, come on guys, come on in and hang out. Right. But he was, he was super nice to everybody... told some awesome stories... but yeah, and he was our ring bearer. We had for me, I had a double platinum, which is one of their albums, a ring made that has an each of their icons from the from the KISS franchise on the ring. So when he opened it up to hand it to the minister to hand to us, he's like, well, wait a minute, have you seen these rings? These are bad [00:10:00] ass. And he totally interrupted the ceremony. It was, it was phenomenal. It was a great time.

Trista, Host: [00:10:06] That's awesome. I I've heard that theme weddings are possible, et cetera, but this is the most.

You know, the coolest one I've ever heard of to actually have a member of the

Tracy Brinkmann: [00:10:15] band. I thought it was amazing,

Trista, Host: [00:10:18] right.

Tracy Brinkmann: [00:10:19] Yeah. Right. Very cool.

Trista, Host: [00:10:21] Memories to last a lifetime.

Tracy Brinkmann: [00:10:23] It was super cool.

And we didn't tell anybody about the surprise visitor. So it wasn't like they all showed up because some superstar was going to be there. That was a total surprise to everyone, which was, I thought it was great because no one came expecting anything except us. And we were able to, you know, And everyone was able to enjoy the, the extra bonus of having him there.

It was, it was really cool.

Trista, Host: [00:10:45] I actually remember the very first time I heard of kiss. You know, when I grew up, I was, I grew up in the South, a lot of my childhood, so it was more like the country pop kind of music in my [00:11:00] house.

And so the very first time I was introduced to KISS, I was friends with this girl Ashlyn. So I'm giving her a shout out. I was in her bedroom. We were hanging out after school and she's like so excited. Cause she just got this new album and she's this huge fan I'm like, Oh, let me see. And of course the album, I don't remember the name of it, but it had the four different guys from the band on and their full makeup. So and so that was very jarring to me. Like I had never seen anything quite, so

Tracy Brinkmann: [00:11:32] just their faces,

Trista, Host: [00:11:33] their faces.

Tracy Brinkmann: [00:11:34] Yeah. That was part of the Dynasty album.

Trista, Host: [00:11:36] Yeah, that you would know better than I, so I'm gonna, I'm gonna do defer to you, but when she showed it to me, I was like, Oh my God, I don't even know how to react to this.

You know,

I was just so thrown by it. But I, it really left an impression, like I never forgot that moment. So that was the first time I was ever introduced to KISS.

Tracy Brinkmann: [00:11:56] Well, I I'll tell you anybody yourself included or any of your [00:12:00] listeners, if someone says, Hey, Would you like to go see this KISS, concert- go, whether you like their music or not, because it's not just a, a concert, it's really an experience. The things they do, the antics. I mean, these guys are in their late seventies now and they're still... I mean, Gene still flies up in the air and spits his blood and fire. And you know, they D they put on this phenomenal show, which is, I think one of the things that kept them alive for, what, four decades now.

Trista, Host: [00:12:32] Yeah. I can't believe they're still performing full out at their age.

Tracy Brinkmann: [00:12:36] Yeah, they're doing their last tour.

They're saying this is the, they call it the end of the road tour. Unfortunately, it was interrupted with the you know, the whole pandemic issue, but they're starting to, re-release the the final dates for 2021. Wow.

Trista, Host: [00:12:50] I mean, Cher said that she said it was her last tour. So

Tracy Brinkmann: [00:12:54] the last tour, then I went to her next last tour.

[00:13:00] Trista, Host: [00:13:00] Now, when did your love of kiss? Start?

Tracy Brinkmann: [00:13:04] My love of kiss started. It would have been 1977. I got introduced to them. My dad was a a long-term military man. So at this time we were stationed over in Germany and we were getting ready to come back to United States on an emergency leave. There was my one of my grandparents had fallen ill, and so we were staying with a friend and as I was getting ready to leave one of my best buddies said dude you gotta check out this, this band and he handed me this cassette tape.

And so I'm at this friend's house and I pop into the cassette tape in the headphones and it was the you probably won't know the album, but if any weed you're listening to too, it was the Destroyer album. And one of the first songs you hear on there is an iconic song called G2 at Rock City. And it starts off, you know, if there's ,you know, the sounds of someone getting into a car and starting it up. And we're talking about a car back in the seventies and eighties. So you hear the keys, then you hear the guy hit the gas [00:14:00] pedal a couple of times and the car starts up and it drives down the road, blah, blah, blah. Then the music. Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah.

I was like, well, I was kind of like you, when you saw that album, I was like, who are at that point? I've been listening to bands like Abba. Right, totally different. I've been listening to, you know, ELO, Jefferson Airplane Earth, Wind and Fire. And my buddy and my buddy says, no, you've got to check these guys out.

And it, I think I wore that tape out during our trip to back to the States and ever since then, I have been a huge fan. My mom used to say, tell all her friends, Oh, it's just a passing fancy. I'm 55

Trista, Host: [00:14:43] still waiting for that thing to pass

Still waiting for it

Tracy Brinkmann: [00:14:46] to pass. I

Trista, Host: [00:14:48] think it's funny. You talk about wearing the tape out and I had this thought like millennials will never know,

Tracy Brinkmann: [00:14:55] but that experience

Trista, Host: [00:14:56] of

Tracy Brinkmann: [00:14:58] well

Trista, Host: [00:14:58] that too, right.

[00:15:00] With just listening to something over and over so much that you wear it out.

So as a kid growing up, you said you were part of a military family, and I know from your Your podcast, summary of your Hardcast, that you you've had sort of a rollercoaster life growing up. Can you tell us a little about what made you, who you are today?

Tracy Brinkmann: [00:15:21] You know obviously that growing up in that military environment had a huge impact on who I am today.

And my, like I mentioned earlier, my dad being a 23 year veteran of the military, you know, he went to Korea and Vietnam and you know, so I ended up growing up all over the United States and then spending probably six or seven years of my youth in Germany, which was really cool because my grandfather immigrated over to the States from Germany.

So we grew up speaking the language, which made, you know, it made it really easy for me and my family to, you know, [00:16:00] navigate the German economy. We always lived off base except for the, when I was really young, where, like I say, really young, I mean like kindergarten young we lived on base for a few years, but after that, we always lived off base amongst the, you know, the German nationals.

And usually it was away from the military base itself. So while they knew who we were and, you know, they were, they weren't unfamiliar with Americans and military. The fact that we spoke the language, you know, my dad and I, certainly brought us into the fold a whole lot easier. It was very welcoming.

One of the cool things about that whole growing up a military brat experience was I was exposed to, you know, all kinds of colors and creeds and religions and types of people across the gamut in the military, as well as outside of it. And so when my dad retired, you know, in my late teens, mid teens, we moved to Southern California and all that structure that had become accustomed to.... it was gone [00:17:00] and became a little bit of a mid-teen wild child. It was probably the worst time for him to retire. Right, right. As I went into my teens, you know, you're going to have problems with your teens in the first place. Now they took away the structure I was used to luckily in the early years I didn't get involved in drugs.

I did get involved later on, unfortunately. I went right out of high school, I went into the military and did about six years and I actually requested to go back to Germany. And so I'd spent my whole time back over in Europe, literally about 60 miles South of where I had just been a few years before.

Wow. So I knew a lot of the area. My mom and dad, and I, we always did things to travel around and go see things. So it was not unfamiliar territory for me. So I felt very comfortable. I got out of the military and started a little computer consulting business. And this was right before the.com boom.

So computers were on their way up and I was doing freelance programming for a preferred provider [00:18:00] organizations. And I was doing very well and and I was out celebrating and that's when I got introduced to the drug scene and therein started quickly dimming to darkness path of my life.

The first big dip in my roller coaster was the bad scene of drugs that I ended up traveling into for a couple of years two or three to the point where if you listened to a whole episode, you know that I was out probably out, Oh, two, three days on a party binge. And I come back to my condo and my door had been kicked open.

And then I realized my door hadn't been kicked open by theives, it had been kicked open by the police. Because of all the choices I had been making and the things I had been doing to sustain my habits you know I was now on their radar and luckily I hadn't been there when it happened. And I think that the major, that was a major turning point for me. Not so much because it was like, Oh, they kicked my [00:19:00] door in. It was more because I had a four month old baby that was brand new to the scene. And it was like, now I literally was lucky enough to take that moment of reflection of like, okay, you know, I'm not messing up my life anymore. Now I'm impacting this little girl's life.

And you know, made that decision to clean up my act and, you know, get the poisons out of my body. And I had some very supportive parents and a brother that was to die for.He, you know, what's funny if it wasn't even my brother, probably he wasn't brother by blood. We had known each other since we were, you know, early teens since, you know my dad's retired into Southern California and we just clicked.

So I call him my brother. And so they were the ones there to help me clean my act up. And because of the you know, The kick in the head. And I mean that in a mental state, not a physical state, my self-confidence took a big dip. Right. Hence the rollercoaster analogy I kind of built [00:20:00] and I didn't go right back into doing what I knew I could do, which is, you know, computer programming, what have you?

I, I didn't feel I had the confidence to do. I didn't feel I was worthy. You could even say, and so I started taking Louie menial jobs, office jobs, and, and I'm not putting down anyone who does these on a regular basis. It's just like, You know, I just did that to build my confidence back up.

And I finally did, and it took a little while,about a year, year and a half or so, and I was able to go out and land a job at Coca-Cola, which started a rise on, on the, you know, corporate ladder. Moved me out to Atlanta to work in their headquarters. You know, again, continued to rise up and, you know, was lucky enough to learn some great lessons, life lessons, as well as business lessons along that path.

And it was, and then inside of that, When we get out to Atlanta, you know, my second daughter is born and you know, she has issues. She's born with a distended [00:21:00] abdomen, and she has to go through six operations in the first three months of her life just to make it so she can survive, you know. And one of the operations was to put in what they call a TPN line, which is total parental nutrition. And literally it's the, it's the base nutrition that we all need to survive because she was born with, you know, like 23 centimeters of small intestine versus, you know, 10 times that you should have been born with so she could eat.

But she, her body wasn't absorbing enough nutrition through that eating. So this TPN line gave her that nutrition straight into, and literally it went right into her aorta, her valve going to her heart. So the heart would just pump it around. However, the body being the amazing machine that it is, it says, Oh, well, you're not using the liver.

So I'm going to get rid of it. So her liver started to deteriorate because, you know, obviously she's not eating the food, she's not filtering it through the [00:22:00] liver. Now she needs a liver and small bowel transplant. So we, you know, she get the doctors, get her healthy enough to get on the list. And then we wait and we hope, and unfortunately, you know, she took a bad turn,

health-wise, at about 18 months. And at one point I pulled the doctor aside, literally pulled him aside. And ask the question. If you had organs right now. Which she survived and he'll give, he gave me doctor speak and you know, that whole thing, this is no joke. Pulled them into a janitor's closet, closed the door.

It's like, dude, it's you and me? No one else is around. No lawyers, no administrators. You gotta tell me and was able to get out of them that no, he didn't believe she would survive the operation. Not the, not the answer you want to hear. Right. But now I know, so my followup question was, do you think she can get up to that healthy level where she could survive the [00:23:00] operation?

And unfortunately what's the things that she'd been going through the last couple of months .The prognosis wasn't good. He says, I, I really, I want to tell you yes, but I can't, you know, in all honesty do that. And so at this point, you know, the respirator was keeping her breathing, you know, it was basically keeping her alive and made that personal choice.

And I say this every time I tell this story, it's a personal choice for whoever's faced with it. You know, you may make a different choice than I. I felt selfish that if I was going to leave her on that respirator, that I was seeing that I was keeping her around for me. For me to come visit for me to see her where, you know, you know, I, so I made that choice or we made that choice to disconnect.

And I literally, this is no joke, held her in my arms, sat in the rocking chair and rocked her to sleep one last time. And that, for me, while it was tough and I almost get wispy eyed right now, thinking about it. It also gave me the time to [00:24:00] tell her all the things that she taught me in her short life.

She taught me so many amazing things. She did this cool thing. You've seen the movie ET right. And he, you know, he points out with his finger and it glows and he touches things. Well for him, that was healing for her. That's how she investigated. Right. So it was always cool to watch her see something new... didn't matter what it was, whether it was a piece of food or a a binkie or a new stuffy or a person she would reach out and touch them once she touched them, it was like any other baby with like right into her mouth. Right. But it was, it was all these little things. When I knew she wasn't feeling well, or she had all these things that were going on, the poking, the prodding, yada, yada, yada.

She always had a smile on her face, always bright eyed. Always, you know, welcoming the world. And that moment though, you know, that moment Kind of changed my perception of how I wanted to go forward with the rest of my life. It's like, dude, you know, tomorrow's not promised right now, here I am holding something that I thought was going to be around [00:25:00] for long past I was gone and now I'm saying goodbye. And you know, here are the I'm taking in these lessons and trying to, you know go forth and teach them. And I still have my first daughter. So, you know, as a parent, you're trying to keep that that positive - PMA - that positive mental attitude, but good mindset and teach lessons.

You know, At the same time. You've got all this going on inside. So, you know, there's that balance you know, it, it offered yet another parental moments, you know, here she was about five or six at the time. And you know, how do you, how do you educate them? You know? And I, I'm not, I, I'm not the kind of person that's going to give all these

woo woo stories. Oh, you know, they're there, you're doing this or they're doing that. It's like, Oh, she she's, she's gone. Right. The only place she lives now is here. So this is where we have to keep her alive. You know, we have to remember our time together and all the things we got to do and all the smiles we shared and [00:26:00] all those things, you know, we, we, we get to be sad, right.

We have to be sad because she's not here anymore, but we have to remember all the goodness of it. Right. And so that was turning point number two for me, you know, and it was a big one. I threw myself into personal development and work. I took my, I I've almost come to the reflection here recently that I'm an addict, right.

Back then I was addicted. You know, if I go way back, I was addicted to computer programming. I was doing it all the time. And then it became the drugs and you know, when did my dark period, right. And then it became work again. And then it became my daughter as she was going through everything she was going through, you know, and then it became, you know, work

again. So I have this, I don't want to say addictive personality, but I find something that I enjoy and I do it a lot. Right. And so I assume myself into work and personal development and, you know, thank goodness it you know, it saved me [00:27:00] for what could have been another really dark time. And I could have drug my daughter back down with me.

Yeah.

Trista, Host: [00:27:06] You said your daughter was five or six at the time. That's pretty young. How much did she understand? How much did it impact her?

Tracy Brinkmann: [00:27:16] You know, she understood because Krista spent probably nine of her 18 months in the hospital. Right. And and you know, especially towards the back end, we actually had to take her to the children's hospital up in Pittsburgh. And we lived in Atlanta. You know, so her and I would travel up there, you know, fly up there every weekend, every other weekend, as much as we could to go see her sister. And she understood her sister was sick, you know, and I tried to as delicately as possible say, you know, I want you to understand, we all want the best for her, but it's possible that she may have to leave us. And, you know, I think in the beginning I totally [00:28:00] avoided the word death and dead and say, she may just have to leave us. She may have to go, you know, use the terms that they can relate to up to the angels, you know, visit grandma who had passed away and grandpa passed away those kinds of types of things.

But, you know it's, it, it was tough. Yeah, you, you try to put the language in there. And I think luckily there was enough, there was enough good shows out. You know, we were avid Disney Watchers at that age and there was enough good shows out there where you could point to a moment in of course you could use like a lion King moment when, you know, when one of the characters died.

So now you can, you can click with that little, remember when Mofasa passed away? And you know, , the other characters had to go on. They were sad. But they took all the learnings, all the lessons that, you know, he had taught them you know, forward. And I tried to use those connections to help her understand.

Trista, Host: [00:28:59] Yeah. [00:29:00] Yeah. That makes sense. And thank goodness you had reference points and stories that you could use too. Kind of relate it to her understanding. I, I don't know personally, but I do understand that the kind of loss you have as a parent losing a child, it never goes away. You carry it with you the rest of your life.

And so I just am very sorry for your loss. I'm sorry for you having to live with that. And I really acknowledge you for finding lessons that you could take to create a life in honor of her instead of avoiding the pain or medicating the pain of losing her really, you could go either way and nobody would fault you for either

Tracy Brinkmann: [00:29:48] one.

Really? Absolutely.

Trista, Host: [00:29:49] Yeah. So you've taken the. Oh, lessons and learnings, and you've put them all into this podcast, this Dark Horse [00:30:00] Entrepreneur podcast. Tell us a little bit about that. And what kinds of things you like to share that some tips from there,

Tracy Brinkmann: [00:30:07] one of the things I've always felt like. I I've always been, had the belief and thank God for my parents were driving this home into me is I, I could do anything I wanted to, I just had to want to bad enough, right? Yeah, my dad never shirked. The idea of it's going to be hard work, but if you set your mind to it, you can go out there and do it.

Heck I could be a basketball player, dude. I'm only five nine. How good of a basketball player I could be, but I could be one, right. It would be Wiley. Right, right, right. I'm well, I'm wired, I'm wired and say, I could be, you know, I could be a jockey and a horse track, not a very good one, but I could be it.

So I've always had this mindset that I could do it. But even though I've had that, there's always those times when you feel like the world is set against [00:31:00] you or the odds are stacked against you, or people just don't believe in you. Right? And so that, that to me is a dark horse. Someone that believed potentially believes in himself, right.

The world's rest of the world, not so much, right. The world is like, yeah, you're not going to win this race. You're not even going to show up on the track. Right. And those are the folks that sometimes they just come up from behind and they could blow past everyone else. And they may not come in first, second or third.

But they show up, they do the work and they run the race and they held their head up high, you know, and they, they go on with their life. So to me, that's, that's the dark horse. And that's what I'm trying to share with other folks that, Hey, you can do it right. And I'm not going to tell you that you're going to come in first place, but gosh, darn it.

If you get out there, stand in the gate, do your stuff and start running. You did it right. That's a Pat on the back. And so I bring on the, so far, the majority of the episodes have been guests that [00:32:00] I've brought on and they share their experiences much like, you know, you're, you're doing here is like, you're asking some questions.

You're saying, Hey, Tracy, what about this? And share about your, your rollercoaster ride. You know, I, I feel if you have that organic conversation with someone, you'll find those hidden nuggets. You know, those ones that potentially the other podcast hosts or the other interviewers neglected to, because they had those canned answers, you know, so they get on, they share their stories and some of them are some pretty tough stories, you know? And you're like, Oh my God, I'm sorry you even had to go through that. But then they've, it then comes apart where they make that transition and they start sharing. Here's how I turned it into my business. And here's why I'm doing that. And you hear that and it kind of resonates with you're like, wow.

Right. So I get them to, and then I, you know, obviously I get them to share the tips of running a business or to market their business. And then at the end of the show, I always try to give, here are the thoughts that stuck out to [00:33:00] me, you know, thought one, thought two, thought three. So if, if someone is even in a rush, they could rush, right to the last few minutes of it, and he was listening to that last part but you know, they missed the gems of the stories and everything.

And then inside there, I, you know, often drop little, you know, nuggets from my experience. So at the end of the day, it's all about trying to tell folks, Hey, if you're considering being an entrepreneur or you're, or, or running a business, or you're smack dab in the middle of it right now, and you feel like, Oh my God, I'm never going to get through this.

This is those moments to help you understand, you know what, everyone's going through it. Right. You're not alone. Here's some tips. You know? So that's, that's the whole motivation behind it.

Trista, Host: [00:33:43] That's awesome. Now you actually have some tips yourself that I wanted to underline during this conversation. And they're around reputation management and this is something every entrepreneur needs to be aware of because we really have become our influence.

How many people we [00:34:00] have influenced, how many people open the emails, how many people watch the videos, right? Give us some tips on reputation management and specifically how to manage it to your advantage and how to deal with it when it goes awry.

Tracy Brinkmann: [00:34:13] Sure. I think one of the, one of the first tips is. Start managing it. I think so many people take the reputation side of things more passively, right? In other words, if you're selling a product or a service and someone gives you a five star review, you're like, yay. Thank you. I appreciate that.

Right. Some folks are even going a little further into saying, Hey, could you leave us a five star review or anything like that? I think you need to, you need to grab that bull by the horns and ride that puppy all the way to the bank. You need to ask every single person that interacts or with you for some feedback.

And you want to ask for that feedback in a way that they're sharing the good, the bad and the ugly. And I think one of the biggest reasons [00:35:00] people don't want to do that because they're afraid of the bad and the ugly. Right. And one of the things I shared in a recent episode is, you know, what your, your naysayers or your biggest opportunity to improve your business. Because if you hear that a couple of times, then there's a hole in your business or a hole in your process that you need to fill. So doing both sides. And I think one of the greatest ways in there are a number of tools out there.

Trista, Host: [00:35:27] That's great advice because I think you're right. Business owners definitely want to shy away from the bad reviews. Take them really personally get upset and angry because you do work really, really hard. And sometimes there is a problem that you did not anticipate. And yet there it is. And so meeting it head on

Tracy Brinkmann: [00:35:45] very, very important.

Trista, Host: [00:35:46] That's great tip. Now you have an Academy that I want to also give you an opportunity to share. So share about your digital Academy. What is it and what can people learn?

Tracy Brinkmann: [00:35:58] The Dark Horse [00:36:00] Digital Course Academy is literally, and I'm going to say this a little tongue in cheek. It's a digital course about creating digital courses.

Which almost sounds like, okay, what does that gotta be about? But literally in, in eight modules, we're going to take you through the steps to create your first digital product. Right? So any, I think one of the biggest struggles, any number of entrepreneurs are having out there is they're trading time for money, right.

We only get 24 hours a day and I don't care how much you're making for every hour. Right. You can only, still have 24 of them in a day.

So. In this digital course, we're going to take you all the way through the steps and breaking it down. I may even be a little bit anal about it, cause it's like a lot of "Today you're going to do this, this, this, and this" and check box, check box check. I'm a checkbox kind of guy.

I feel good. It's like, Hey, I got that done. It's done. And it's a again, over eight courses, how to create, how to outline it. But before [00:37:00] you outline it, you know how to validate it. Hey, I have this great idea. How do I validate it? What, what do I do? We'll, we'll take you through some steps on validating your idea, and you can walk away with that with even more market data.

Quite often, I find that when people go through the validation process, they're like, wow, I didn't even think about adding that into my course. And now they've got even more stuff which makes your course more sellable. And then we're going to go through, you know, how to actually outline it, record it I'm a big proponent of doing video courses that people can watch, you know, they can pick it up, watch it, put it down, pick it up, watch it, put it down at their own pace. You know, of course you could use the same processes for creating an an ebook or a PDF course. But I think people will be a little more challenged to consume that, but that choice is yours.

And then we'll take you through how to market it. We have some pretty cool tactics. There's one really cool up and coming tactic. And it's called the pop-up podcast. Believe it or not, it's a, it's a, you [00:38:00] know, I think webinars are still good tactics. They work, but you know, it, it's pretty busy nowadays.

When life gets back to we'll call it normal, whatever normal is going to be. How many folks have two hours or an hour and a half to sit on a webinar where they know, they know, for fact, you're going to be pitching them at the end. You're like, dude, just tell me what you're trying to sell me. I already know you. I love you, dude. You rock. Gimme, gimme the, give me the order page, right? And so we take you all through that step by step and you know, a few bonus gems along the way, how to build things up, how to, you know, hit, hit the ground, running how to make sure your, your students when they do buy your course, how to onboard them in such a way that it raises your completion rate.

And when you raise the completion rate of your course, more people are more apt to say, Oh my God, I got so much out of it. Well, you did it. You got more out of it because you finished, you

Trista, Host: [00:38:54] finished it.

Tracy Brinkmann: [00:38:55] Yeah, absolutely.

Trista, Host: [00:38:56] That sounds like a great course. You know, I've considered [00:39:00] taking my best knowledge, putting it into a course, but the steps to do that, I

Tracy Brinkmann: [00:39:04] I've never done that

Trista, Host: [00:39:05] before.

I wouldn't even know where to start. So it sounds like this is a great step by step way to not just start but complete the course and market it so you can actually get people. Registering for it and getting the value out of what you have to share. So that sounds great. We're going to have the podcast and the course available in the show notes so people can access both of those from you.

And I I've just really loved learning your plate story and what's made you who you are today. I do like to wrap up with you asking me a question. So do you have a question you'd like to ask

Tracy Brinkmann: [00:39:44] me. You know, obviously the obvious question is how did you start talking about plates? But I think I'm gonna switch and say, you know, what, if you were gonna do a documentary, what would it be about and why?

[00:40:00] Trista, Host: [00:40:00] Hmm. That's an interesting question. A documentary.

I think if I was going to do a documentary, it would have to be on something really super curious about like, how does it work? Why does it work? What makes it work the way that it does? How does it working impact the world? So I'm trying to think, like, what am I so curious about that I would want to do all of that work?

Cause I have a friend doing a documentary on whiskey and is it whiskey or scotch? He's in Scotland. So I guess it's scotch, right? He's doing a documentary on scotch and he's been working on this for over a year, flown all over the world and he loves scotch so much and he loves Scotland so much, but it's this labor of love for him.

Tracy Brinkmann: [00:40:56] Yeah. Yeah. No, that makes sense. But

Trista, Host: [00:40:58] I'm like, do I love anything [00:41:00] enough to spend that level of time and resources on it? You know, I I think if I was going to do a documentary, I have a curiosity about non-spiritual people using spiritual practices in business. There's this growing number of people I'm finding that have they're very buttoned up and pragmatic and very professional. They're not what you would consider like woo, woo type people.

Sure. But yet, when you get to know them a little deeper, you realize that they're using a lot of different things like angel cards, meditation, law of attraction, manifestation, visualization, crystals, you know, Reiki, healing. All these modalities that are not considered buttoned up professional mainstream kind of thing.

Right. And I'm [00:42:00] curious about that crossroads, like how those two things come together and cross paths and become meshed together. And so I think that I have no idea if this would be a good documentary that anybody would ever watch. But I'm very intrigued by that merge of those two. Yeah.

Tracy Brinkmann: [00:42:23] That's, that's actually a good one.

I would watch that one. I would definitely watch that one.

Trista, Host: [00:42:30] Great. It's another thing to put on my

Tracy Brinkmann: [00:42:31] side. I mean, I've seen over my time, you know, coming in and out of corporate America. The, the influx of what some folks 20, 30 years ago would think is woo, woo become part of the mainstream in, you know, in the big companies, certainly a lot more prevalent in the smaller companies and folks like you and me who went out, go out and look at it.

Trista, Host: [00:42:56] I think there's a lot there and I, I find it fascinating. [00:43:00]

Tracy Brinkmann: [00:43:00] I'm feeling a project coming up.

Trista, Host: [00:43:02] One more thing to do.

Actually yeah, that's very intriguing, but Tracy, it was very, very nice having you on. I really appreciate you sharing everything that you did.

Tracy Brinkmann: [00:43:13] Thank you so much.

Trista, Host: [00:43:15] Absolutely. Have a great day.

Tracy Brinkmann: [00:43:17] You do the same.

Trista, Host: [00:43:18] Thank you for joining us for this week's episode of Trista's PL8STORY podcast. Please subscribe to Trista's PL8STORY podcast to get the story behind all those vanity plates, driving with you on the road. And if you would like to nominate the owner of a license plate, including you... Or visit any of our partners and sponsors come and see us www.pl8story.com. That's P L number eight story.com and give us the details.

If you enjoyed this episode, please drop a review and give us a share. I'm Trista Polo wishing you well on the road to your next adventure.